1
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:17,767
‪-嘿,哥兒們,早上好嗎?
‪-不太好,什麼“哥兒們”?

2
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:22,188
‪說到這,我跟露比共度良宵
‪還收到以前的教授傳來簡訊

3
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,859
‪我的早晨每況愈下,你只是假裝關心

4
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,653
‪我要跟安娜開第一次的季度預算會議

5
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,574
‪好慘,總之卡萊爾教授要進城
‪他約我碰面

6
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,783
‪我一直是他的愛徒

7
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,077
‪-你還有話要說
‪-沒錯

8
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:37,662
‪我很害怕

9
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,791
‪感覺就像跟獅子開會
‪而且知道如果說錯話

10
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,544
‪她就會張開滿嘴利牙
‪把我撕扯得體無完膚

11
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:48,465
‪我以前很怕卡萊爾教授
‪現在他特地來到洛杉磯

12
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,008
‪最期待見到誰?我

13
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,176
‪謝謝你的建議

14
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,636
‪我會試著運用在
‪八竿子打不著的情況上

15
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:57,724
‪這傢伙,又留了一通留言給我

16
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,143
‪大概是還想我的稱讚我的畢業論文吧

17
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:04,355
‪要我播放嗎?好夥計
‪你親自聽聽我有多棒,免得你懷疑

18
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,858
‪-你在唸大字報嗎?
‪-我心情很好

19
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:11,488
‪傑克森,哥兒們
‪你好嗎?我的好夥計,希望你很好

20
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,617
‪我是想問,我們這周末的
‪畢業典禮演講人沒空來

21
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,036
‪不知道令尊能不能幫忙

22
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,371
‪你能幫我們美言幾句嗎?

23
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,664
‪這對我意義重...

24
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,459
‪可惡,他主動聯絡我就是為了這個

25
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,627
‪我很遺憾

26
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:30,340
‪這就像布雷克老師為了認識你爸
‪隨便讓你在音樂劇軋一角

27
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,553
‪綠色實驗室,義手的研發大有進展

28
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,972
‪我喜歡你們把它設定為能做沙卡手勢

29
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,725
‪繼續研發其他手該有的功能吧

30
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,311
‪紅色實驗室,碳項目的期限迫在眉睫

31
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:45,188
‪我會把我寫的新序列寄給妳們

32
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,315
‪做好心理準備,成果很美

33
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,110
‪藍色實驗室,高蛋白香蕉做得很好

34
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:55,490
‪營養含量增為四倍
‪接著設法去除魷魚的餘味吧

35
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,034
‪好了,各位,回到工作崗位吧

36
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,244
‪加油,團隊!

37
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,079
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

38
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,667
‪今天是景觀美化日
‪你怎麼沒去人家的花園搬秋海棠?

39
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,252
‪你的輕重緩急呢?

40
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,003
‪雙胞胎點燃我的幹勁

41
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:13,174
‪下次的董事會議上
‪我們必須展示碳捕集做出的混凝土

42
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:15,093
‪-所以我今天必須進公司
‪-謝天謝地

43
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:18,888
‪激勵大家奮發向上
‪現在我要去美化環境了

44
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,266
‪我要勒死你,但我不會這麼做

45
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,476
‪安娜,我的造景工作很重要

46
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,813
‪因為我做那些工作的時候
‪也在鍛鍊這裡

47
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,523
‪當我鍛鍊這裡時

48
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,191
‪公司也會有幫助

49
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,568
‪你的鞋帶鬆了

50
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,737
‪-我綁鞋帶的時候...
‪-天啊,快去施肥吧

51
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:39,284
‪我受邀去畢業典禮上致詞
‪我需要有人幫我寫演講稿

52
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,619
‪-一個瞭解我的人
‪-好吧,祝你好運

53
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,289
‪我要妳操刀,內容一定要精彩、動人

54
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,124
‪最好還能爆紅

55
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,169
‪-但又至於弄巧成拙
‪-好吧,祝你好運

56
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,461
‪我在自言自語

57
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,006
‪請麥爾坎幫忙
‪你們就像我肚子裡的蛔蟲

58
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,426
‪用笑話開場
‪要夠逗趣,但別弄巧成拙

59
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,307
‪昨晚後來情況怎麼樣?

60
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:06,519
‪超棒,我跳舞,偷了一把叉子
‪還有人把帽子給我

61
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,355
‪然後我到回家
‪布萊恩說:“希望妳玩得開心

62
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,192
‪因為妳錯過新聞節目精華片段
‪而且我不會告訴妳”

63
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,819
‪幸好我決定不批評他了

64
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,113
‪至少妳拿到免費的帽子和叉子

65
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:21,034
‪說到叉子,妳昨晚跟傑克森
‪“圈圈叉叉”了嗎?

66
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,620
‪有時候妳真的滿嘴垃圾話

67
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,246
‪沒有,我們都很醉

68
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,832
‪只是親親抱抱,最後一起睡著了

69
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,250
‪聽起來不錯

70
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,835
‪剛開始是

71
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,548
‪然後他在我家過夜
‪早上還用我最愛的咖啡和司康叫醒我

72
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,219
‪所以問題出在
‪他是可以認真交往的好男生

73
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,721
‪而不是妳習慣交往的約炮男嗎?

74
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,766
‪他又約我出去了,一切光速進行

75
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,935
‪萬一他以為我們要認真交往了呢?

76
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,144
‪真是個混球

77
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:52,649
‪我知道,他人很好
‪真希望我是正常人,我想當正常人

78
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,402
‪被一個離婚七次的媽媽養大
‪想必很困難吧

79
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,904
‪妳破壞自己的感情

80
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,531
‪因為妳的內心滿是創傷垃圾

81
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,325
‪-好閨密
‪-這不是妳的錯

82
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,452
‪如果妳想改變模式,就做吧

83
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,916
‪好,我會試著善待對我好的男生

84
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,293
‪-非常好
‪-看看妳對我做了什麼,媽

85
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,922
‪還有戴洛、傑瑞、卡麥
‪另一個戴洛、史考特兄弟檔和朱蒂絲

86
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,804
‪計畫有變
‪我們要替艾利斯寫畢業典禮講稿

87
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,182
‪他說用玩笑當開場白
‪非常好,因為我充滿幽默感

88
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,769
‪-妳開玩笑吧?
‪-沒有,我超搞笑

89
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:32,230
‪好吧,但我不知道
‪要給畢業生什麼建議

90
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,900
‪我連取消健身房會員資格都不敢
‪因為我怕死櫃台那個女的

91
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,237
‪我也不能上健身房
‪因為我怕死深蹲架那個女的

92
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,738
‪你去女性健身房嗎?

93
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:44,117
‪別擔心,沒問題的
‪我也是經驗豐富的作家

94
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,120
‪-因為妳寫同人小說嗎?
‪-什麼同人小說?

95
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,123
‪-妳沒寫、我也不知道的同人小說
‪-沒錯

96
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,294
‪好了,有趣的開場白

97
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,671
‪我想到一件滑稽的事

98
00:04:57,171 --> 00:05:00,300
‪我那個討厭鄰居不小心觸電了

99
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,177
‪你怎麼不寫下來?

100
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,807
‪早安,露比,妳今天很漂亮

101
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,725
‪謝謝

102
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,978
‪真窩心,多謝你的稱讚

103
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,566
‪不客氣,露娜
‪聽說妳昨晚帶著帽子回家

104
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,361
‪對,我們一起睡
‪是一頂貝雷帽,粗魯但很性感

105
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,822
‪早上它讀詩給我聽,沒有沖澡就走了

106
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,365
‪典型的貝雷帽

107
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,161
‪-艾利斯傳來的序列
‪-他說得對,的確很美

108
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,080
‪雖然他有多到數不清的缺點

109
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,749
‪我爸真的很有科學頭腦

110
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,544
‪我們快動手吧,聽說董事會下個月前
‪要看到成果,否則就麻煩了

111
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:37,670
‪那我們開始吧

112
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,424
‪還有,我把妳最愛的杏仁奶藏在冰箱
‪省得又被賴瑞喝光

113
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,302
‪真貼心,你不必這麼做的

114
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,430
‪-我們該去工作了
‪-我先去喝杯咖啡

115
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,639
‪妳做得很好

116
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,641
‪所以...

117
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,478
‪昨晚很愉快

118
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,687
‪是很愉快

119
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,023
‪但今天早上糟透了

120
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:57,940
‪是嗎?

121
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,360
‪-多說一點
‪-好

122
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,031
‪我很崇拜的一位教授利用我聯繫我爸

123
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,283
‪真遺憾,的確感覺很糟

124
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,495
‪有時候很難分辨該相信誰

125
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,372
‪我知道這麼說很可笑

126
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,999
‪但有人可以聊聊真的很棒

127
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,301
‪-情況怎麼樣?
‪-我現在是他天殺的女朋友了

128
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,351
‪這是你的蛋三明治,蘿莎多放了起司

129
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,439
‪-她對你有意思
‪-但不可能有結果,我愛我老婆

130
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,983
‪但我願意接受加量起司

131
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,528
‪他們怎麼了?一副迫不及待的樣子

132
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,530
‪難道雞糞肥終於要送來了嗎?

133
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,324
‪甚至更好,今天是樹木修剪日

134
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,576
‪表示愛德華多要登場了

135
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,582
‪(我為你砍樹!)

136
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,759
‪(愛德華多)

137
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:16,769
‪(電鋸)

138
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:20,815
‪那是誰?

139
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:25,069
‪他是愛德華多,大師級人物
‪這個世代絕無僅有的修樹工

140
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,866
‪我會好好照顧你

141
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,370
‪聽說他曾大老遠去蒙特斯托
‪修剪歐普拉家的藍花楹樹

142
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:38,833
‪我聽說他的修枝技術
‪曾讓美國梧桐起死回生

143
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,091
‪我也想做到那樣

144
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,095
‪我的朋友,你永遠做不到

145
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,138
‪我們都不可能

146
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,974
‪我們只是來收集愛德華多剪下的樹枝

147
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,603
‪我不想只收集德華多的樹枝
‪我想做他做的事

148
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,190
‪還用說嘛
‪但這些夢想只能藏在男人的心裡

149
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,274
‪-可是...
‪-安靜

150
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,445
‪開始奏樂了

151
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,994
‪我剛才看了艾利斯的計算結果
‪發現耐人尋味的地方

152
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,120
‪傑克森人呢?

153
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,581
‪傑克森,你女朋友在找你

154
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,541
‪-露娜!
‪-他不在這裡

155
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,667
‪他回家吃午餐了

156
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,087
‪那個叫金的女人幫他們訂了
‪舞台開放夜,他們需要練習

157
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:29,008
‪他就是希望我去看這種表演
‪我做不到

158
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:33,012
‪試試看吧,撐一小時
‪但如果還是沒準備好,就算了

159
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,681
‪我要怎麼提分手才不會傷到傑克森?

160
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:40,478
‪沒辦法,話說回來
‪用氯化鍶取代氯化鈣應該更有效率

161
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:45,066
‪妳說對了,我很難開口
‪因為我想專心處理我的事

162
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,777
‪-妳應該去告訴艾利斯
‪-我不確定

163
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,863
‪萬一他覺得權威受損呢?
‪我為什麼要更改他寄來的東西?

164
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,783
‪-妳做了改進
‪-妳永遠猜不到老闆會怎麼反應

165
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,828
‪我當實習生時,發現老闆的數字有誤
‪兩個月後他就拋棄老婆

166
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,622
‪這兩件事也許無關

167
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:03,626
‪不,有關,他寫數學公式
‪驗證應該繼續維繫婚姻

168
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:08,548
‪好吧,但妳必須聲援自己
‪妳有更好的點子,不能只想保護別人

169
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,676
‪妳也無法保護別人的兒子不傷心

170
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,011
‪-這也沒錯
‪-所以我們都要堅強

171
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,805
‪-然後說我們該說的話
‪-沒錯

172
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,807
‪-我很害怕
‪-我也是

173
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:23,896
‪希望妳不介意在地下室排練
‪這裡的音效棒呆了

174
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,399
‪我喜歡地下的聲音

175
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,569
‪我曾經在巴黎地底的隧道玩了一整夜

176
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,863
‪太美了,我差點忘了那是下水道

177
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,282
‪那是幹嘛的?

178
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,784
‪我爸和他的怪咖治療師朋友萊斯利
‪一起打造的

179
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,328
‪他們進去那裡說秘密和抽雪茄

180
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,123
‪應該吧,我不確定
‪女孩或兒子不准進入

181
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,792
‪董事會聘請的心理治療師
‪萊斯利克萊文傑嗎?

182
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:49,171
‪聽我勸,千萬別綁架生無可戀的人
‪因為他很可能打死不走

183
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,799
‪除了周二和周四上水上有氧運動課

184
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:53,092
‪你剛才說“綁架”

185
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:57,054
‪是指你爸用難以抗拒的魅力
‪迷倒克萊文傑醫生嗎?

186
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:01,058
‪不,而是把人丟進地下室
‪把門鎖起來之類的

187
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:03,185
‪真假,就算是艾利斯,也算破天荒了

188
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,021
‪希望如此,繼續吧?

189
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,022
‪開始...

190
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,332
‪我們正在排練

191
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,500
‪-而且非常動聽
‪-金妮,“金因”序列

192
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,461
‪-嗨,艾利
‪-你來這裡做什麼?

193
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,173
‪我要拿電鋸,你們有沒有人會書法?

194
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,717
‪等等,這樣可能太急了

195
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,887
‪嘿,如果妳想休息,我來做午餐

196
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,139
‪我們可以聊聊
‪妳最近交往的那個愛爾蘭舞者

197
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,934
‪我很樂意,那男人不能移動上半身

198
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,728
‪但他的下半身,可猛了

199
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:49,899
‪爸,可以到樓上聊兩句嗎?

200
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,153
‪是私密的事,跟我的內褲有關

201
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,491
‪絕對不可能是他的內褲

202
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:03,329
‪-跟我的內褲無關
‪-我就知道!是為了起司的事嗎?

203
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,415
‪我今天本來想做三明治,結果很灰心

204
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,126
‪萊斯利喜歡起司但不能吃
‪所以全丟進馬桶了

205
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,461
‪丟進馬桶?為什麼?

206
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,297
‪這樣他才不會被誘惑
‪他還編了順口溜

207
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:14,298
‪我記得是

208
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:18,344
‪“垃圾桶起司,快快撿
‪馬桶起司,好噁,快快避”

209
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,805
‪抱歉,我開始發現他在這裡的壞處了

210
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,682
‪他昨晚又約人過來

211
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,352
‪他說這是“沙龍”
‪但他們喝得爛醉後在圖書館摔角

212
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,939
‪我知道,他有個朋友的頭
‪卡在你的古董地球儀裡,戴回家了

213
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,358
‪但不是為了這個,我想跟你談金的事

214
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,069
‪你想退出舞台開放夜表演嗎?很明智

215
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:35,986
‪什麼?並不是

216
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,824
‪-你很有吸引力
‪-謝謝

217
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:44,120
‪我說清楚一點,這是抱怨
‪你把別人從我的生活吸入你的生活

218
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,330
‪就像今天早上卡萊爾教授的事

219
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,500
‪我以為他要找我
‪但其實是利用我跟你聯繫

220
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,128
‪不是這樣,他碰上難題

221
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:56,215
‪他失去畢業典禮致詞者
‪這是我跟魯迪朱利安尼之間的事

222
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,883
‪你就那麼討厭你的母校嗎?

223
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:01,679
‪金是我認識少數幾個
‪不會利用我去接近你的人

224
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,305
‪我不希望妳把她拉走

225
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,765
‪金愛你,傑克森

226
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:08,436
‪但我也可以當她的朋友
‪沒人喜歡霸占金的傢伙

227
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,604
‪沒錯,但我們正在忙

228
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,898
‪你一走進來就搶走焦點

229
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,443
‪你就像太陽,別人會被吸進你的軌道

230
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,194
‪你真的這麼想嗎?因為太陽超棒

231
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,321
‪它閃爍光芒,還能幫助作物成長

232
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,074
‪你很幼稚,我剛把太陽說出口
‪就知道該選別的東西

233
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,492
‪-但我聽進去了
‪-謝謝

234
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,577
‪我會當耳邊風

235
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,872
‪因為我就是這樣,多數人都覺得很酷

236
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,128
‪不如這樣好了,“恭喜各位畢業生

237
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:38,716
‪直到現在你們都被
‪關心你們的人包圍,老師,家長

238
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,634
‪有些人甚至還有朋友

239
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:45,055
‪但這一切將在今天結束
‪因為現實世界冷酷無情

240
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,308
‪沒人在乎你或你的痛苦”

241
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,269
‪好喔,非常擲地有聲

242
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,605
‪要不我們就朝這個方向
‪因為寫得很好

243
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,523
‪但語句潤飾得積極一點怎麼樣?

244
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,692
‪-你覺得這樣行不通?
‪-我沒這麼說

245
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,903
‪-你就是這個意思
‪-好,我是這個意思

246
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,030
‪-真放肆
‪-對不起,妳說得對

247
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,115
‪如果你覺得我不對,就堅持立場

248
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,909
‪畢業生需要更多鼓勵

249
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,243
‪-你錯了
‪-我同意

250
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,621
‪-你不認同,那就直說
‪-我不認同

251
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,831
‪-對我還是對你?
‪-我不知道該說什麼

252
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:11,832
‪對你

253
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,421
‪計畫有變,氯化鍶的事我錯了

254
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,840
‪很好,這樣妳就不必
‪告訴艾利斯妳比他強了

255
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,426
‪我來把蛋白質放回低溫冷藏箱

256
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,678
‪會讓我的皮膚水噹噹

257
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,890
‪不,我是說我完全正確這點錯了

258
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,727
‪我的想法完全顛覆艾利斯的論點
‪所以我要刪除我的內容

259
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:35,815
‪不可以,記得嗎?我們說好
‪不保護別人的感受,必須講實話

260
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:40,069
‪妳要告訴傑克森妳不想談感情
‪一天有這些實話就夠了

261
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,780
‪其實我決定不這麼做了

262
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,324
‪他今天早上心情不好
‪所以我要等一天左右

263
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,869
‪妳要撐多久才告訴我

264
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,621
‪妳決定臨陣退縮?

265
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,873
‪-幾小時吧
‪-嘿

266
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,877
‪妳們一定不相信我爸跟金幹了什麼

267
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,214
‪我做不到,我要去低溫冷藏庫

268
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,635
‪好像有點刻薄,對吧?

269
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,973
‪抱歉,我正忙著維護你爸的自尊
‪你也需要幫忙嗎?

270
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:10,558
‪不用

271
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,731
‪嘿,妳還好嗎?

272
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,317
‪我沒事,只是把小瓶子拿來放
‪我自己應付得來

273
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:23,028
‪-糟糕,也許不行
‪-我來吧

274
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,739
‪-這裡
‪-謝謝

275
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:29,285
‪話說我現在跟我爸碰上很多事

276
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,121
‪所以並不適合談感情

277
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,748
‪等等,你要跟我分手嗎?

278
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,667
‪應該不算分手吧,我們只約會過兩次

279
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,628
‪對,但先弄清楚,你想認真跟我交往

280
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,424
‪-妳說是就是吧
‪-你早上大老遠帶糕點回來給我

281
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,135
‪妳是說我買的,被妳吃掉的司康嗎?

282
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,056
‪抱歉,這跟性愛有關嗎?

283
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,808
‪裡面冷爆了,我們穿著厚外套

284
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,768
‪我不想知道細節,我轉身就是了

285
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:58,355
‪-但你不必轉身
‪-我不能離開,我在躲安娜

286
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,607
‪你幹嘛躲她?

287
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,442
‪妳忘了另一瓶蛋白質

288
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:06,322
‪我不希望它融掉,我可不想花一整天
‪把人體肝臟丟進肝臟壓縮器

289
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,575
‪-你在這裡做什麼?
‪-他在躲安娜,原因不明

290
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,871
‪安娜對我精神折磨
‪我趁她去拿果汁時溜走了

291
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,040
‪直接說你不喜歡她對你的態度

292
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,249
‪是啊,對人要坦誠

293
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,294
‪以免困在冰箱時
‪被別人的實話殺個措手不及

294
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:24,131
‪我覺得不該挑戰老闆
‪就算你有更棒的點子

295
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,550
‪懦弱是有好處的
‪所以才有那麼多懦夫

296
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,801
‪很爛的建議

297
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,595
‪沒錯,但對我很受用

298
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,931
‪-我要把這個放好
‪-喔,對

299
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,563
‪看吧,這就是我跟我男友說
‪不曾在職場發生過的事

300
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,736
‪老天,你們全都在這裡

301
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,947
‪-跟性愛有關嗎?
‪-我們只是把蛋白質收好

302
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,240
‪很科學的說法 ,但沒關係

303
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,952
‪-麥爾坎,我們還沒弄完
‪-妳怎麼找到我的?

304
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,995
‪-我追踪到你的識別證
‪-追蹤得到嗎?

305
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:57,498
‪不行

306
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,543
‪快點,除非你想在這裡工作
‪低溫對我的皮膚很有好處

307
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,671
‪是不是?痛苦很值得

308
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,047
‪不要,我們可以走了

309
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:09,426
‪麥爾坎,勇敢面對她,你可以的

310
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,344
‪麥爾坎!

311
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,182
‪我也要出去了

312
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:21,647
‪好吧,這就是我男友
‪希望在職場上發生的事

313
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,405
‪告訴布萊恩
‪努力想像自己的色情職場情境

314
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,614
‪他在家工作

315
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:38,455
‪對了,我也覺得
‪我們之間應該冷靜一下

316
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,832
‪好,沒問題

317
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,668
‪對,因為很明顯我們有來電

318
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,669
‪-看得出來
‪-對

319
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,213
‪但我們是同事
‪所以可能會出很多岔子

320
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,172
‪很多

321
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,092
‪所以我們回到原點,單純做朋友

322
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,261
‪單純做朋友

323
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,687
‪(艾利斯)

324
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,566
‪不會吧,我就怕會發生這種事

325
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,525
‪真的發生了

326
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,861
‪拜託,艾利斯,別爬那棵樹

327
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:11,697
‪一定要

328
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,073
‪觀察身邊崇高卓越的事物

329
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,326
‪而不要只看自己的偉大之處
‪是一樁美事

330
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,954
‪抱歉,我不能接受

331
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,001
‪我可以的

332
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,592
‪一定行

333
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,554
‪現在你必須好好學

334
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,266
‪幫個忙?天啊!

335
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,228
‪算了,我能搞定

336
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,323
‪這次沒有弄掉電鋸

337
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,785
‪很好啊,繼續緣木求魚吧

338
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,417
‪天啊.我懂了

339
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,921
‪所有男人都活在別人的陰影下

340
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:16,095
‪“辭典把痛苦定義為
‪肉體上的痛苦,但不只如此”

341
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,179
‪我要打斷妳

342
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,806
‪-你確定嗎?
‪-應該吧

343
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,892
‪我是說確定,妳寫的東西太負面了

344
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,810
‪你什麼都不懂

345
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,728
‪還有,妳對我的態度很惡劣

346
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:27,648
‪-我沒有,也不在乎
‪-妳為什麼要這樣對我?

347
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,777
‪-因為我擔心你,好嗎?
‪-什麼?

348
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,365
‪我小的時候爸爸離開了
‪很不幸,我媽還在

349
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,618
‪而且跟伏特加難分難捨

350
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:40,869
‪所以12歲時

351
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:44,414
‪我基本上要靠自己撫養我的弟妹

352
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,292
‪同時在本地業餘製作公司
‪拍的《真善美》裡

353
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,002
‪飾演瑪莉亞

354
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:52,422
‪我很快就發現這個世界很可怕

355
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,759
‪除非自己變堅強,才可能安全

356
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,303
‪原來每個反派都有獨特的故事

357
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,471
‪我是說每個人

358
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,558
‪我的重點是堅強讓我好好活著

359
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,562
‪我擔心如果你不硬起來
‪會被世界生吞活剝

360
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,272
‪最後吃乾抹淨

361
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,567
‪抱歉,形容得很殘忍
‪但你說我是反派

362
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,571
‪所以妳讓我經歷這些
‪是因為擔心我嗎?

363
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,488
‪沒錯

364
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,198
‪而且我覺得很有趣

365
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,200
‪也許我真的是壞蛋

366
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,121
‪嘿,你找我嗎?

367
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,749
‪-兒子,我的確想見你,向來都是
‪-看得出來你有話說

368
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,960
‪傑克森,我今天完全體會了你的處境

369
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,087
‪我活在神的陰影下

370
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:35,674
‪讚喔,你差點過完
‪沒有自比是神的一天

371
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,092
‪我不是神

372
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:41,430
‪但我躺在地上,看著愛德華多時
‪突然有所領悟

373
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,807
‪那是誰?算了,我不打斷你

374
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,311
‪我體會到
‪你生活在我的陰影下有多辛苦

375
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,313
‪你和金的關係很重要

376
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:54,026
‪應該留給你們兩人
‪我會退開,帶走我的影子

377
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,945
‪謝謝,我很感激

378
00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,199
‪我也意識到卡萊爾教授
‪怎麼利用你跟我接觸

379
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,242
‪所以如果你不願意我就不去致詞

380
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,535
‪謝謝你

381
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:07,039
‪拜託,我把金還給你
‪還從樹上摔下來

382
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,208
‪讓我演說吧,你又不會少塊肉

383
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,335
‪天啊,去演講,你真是不可理喻

384
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,671
‪謝謝,我會提到你,但不會刻意提

385
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,340
‪好吧,期待你的成果

386
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,717
‪怎麼了?

387
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:24,806
‪籠罩在我的陰影下一定很冷

388
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:28,560
‪你的臉上照不到陽光

389
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:34,524
‪看到我大放異彩你就滿足了,那是...

390
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:35,442
‪嘿,露娜

391
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,694
‪-老闆,你找我嗎?
‪-請坐

392
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:43,450
‪我看過妳今天刪除的實驗報告

393
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,077
‪你看得到我們刪除的內容?

394
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,746
‪這不是完全破壞“刪除”的意義了嗎?

395
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,959
‪-怎麼搞的,露娜?為什麼要刪除?
‪-我自作主張想到一個蠢點子

396
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:52,876
‪一個蠢點子

397
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:56,380
‪還是比我更好的點子
‪而且妳擔心我的反應?

398
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,007
‪你不只看得到我們刪除的內容
‪還有我們的想法?

399
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:02,135
‪露娜,在這裡我們只想要大作為

400
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:05,472
‪只有這樣才可能發現新事物

401
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,224
‪我不希望我兒子活在我的陰影下

402
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,309
‪也不希望妳被埋沒才能

403
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,479
‪謝謝,很棒的訓話,老闆

404
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:15,315
‪永遠不要因為恐懼或別人的反應卻步

405
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,442
‪對的事就是對的

406
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:20,988
‪如果是錯的
‪不管怎麼假裝也不會變成對的

407
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:22,698
‪沒錯

408
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:26,576
‪我為什麼要為了跳舞
‪或帶著帽子和叉子回家道歉?

409
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,747
‪我不清楚來龍去脈
‪但我想妳懂我的意思

410
00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:31,832
‪所以我贊同

411
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,421
‪嘿,妳跟傑克森怎麼樣了?

412
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:39,298
‪我們決定當朋友比較好

413
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,050
‪雙方有共識,我都忘了是誰先提的

414
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,302
‪所以他先提的?

415
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:47,097
‪-對,妳跟艾利斯談得怎麼樣?
‪-我必須跟布萊恩分手

416
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:49,224
‪天啊,談得這麼順利嗎?

417
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:52,978
‪沒有,他只是要我
‪壯起膽子和做對的事

418
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,771
‪我知道布萊恩不適合我

419
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:56,773
‪露娜

420
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,237
‪我今晚會在家,打給我,好嗎?

421
00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:03,155
‪好

422
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:10,787
‪“世界是個殘酷的地方
‪但永遠都有希望

423
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:13,123
‪只是別因為尋找希望讓自己變得懦弱

424
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,209
‪也不要過於小心翼翼
‪把愛拒於千里之外

425
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:19,046
‪但要留點心眼,因為愛可能背叛你”

426
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,549
‪-有點語意不明,對吧?
‪-我的點子有用

427
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,552
‪別管演講稿了,我已經想到要說什麼

428
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,095
‪看吧?

429
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,765
‪這就是最好的教訓

430
00:22:30,265 --> 00:22:32,059
‪你不能依賴任何事物

431
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:38,357
‪有時候爬上樹,有時候從樹上掉下來

432
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,110
‪我最近學到一件事,在人生的道路上

433
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:45,072
‪往上爬和向下墜有異曲同工之妙

434
00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:48,075
‪只是速度和方向不同

435
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,243
‪真希望我能像他一樣

436
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:11,950
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷