1
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,350
‪你好像撞到雙胞胎之一了

2
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,937
‪-你覺得他死了嗎?
‪-艾利斯德雷根!

3
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,605
‪你這個混蛋!

4
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,108
‪他還沒死,所以我們贏了

5
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,944
‪你就光待在裡面說話嗎?
‪快下車幫忙!

6
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:28,945
‪他真嗆

7
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,239
‪我知道,我不想獎勵這種行為

8
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,911
‪嘿,雙胞胎之一,你還好嗎?

9
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,289
‪我是會運動的查茲
‪我不好,手痛死了

10
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,250
‪天啊,查茲!他們對你做了什麼?

11
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,502
‪他們用車撞我,我的手臂都擦傷了

12
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,464
‪而且發生在午夜後
‪也就是我們的生日,簡直兩倍差勁

13
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,049
‪你生日啊?生日快樂

14
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,634
‪真是太棒了,你們有什麼計畫?

15
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,595
‪幹嘛告訴妳?你們想撞死查茲耶

16
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:59,309
‪沒人想撞死誰
‪問題是誰大半夜會走在車道上?

17
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,935
‪對啊,太扯了

18
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,562
‪我要去收信

19
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,981
‪你們又幹嘛關掉車頭燈
‪停靠在我們家門口?

20
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,691
‪別把焦點轉移到我們身上

21
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:09,903
‪對啊,是你自己像隻
‪四處閒晃的老鼠,半夜出來拿信

22
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,112
‪他們心懷不軌

23
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:14,282
‪-我們應該報警
‪-好吧,我們說實話就是了

24
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,035
‪我們來附近是因為安娜

25
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:18,953
‪在找房子

26
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,332
‪對,沒錯,我喜歡這一區

27
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,959
‪-因為胡椒樹嗎?
‪-就是為了胡椒樹

28
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,004
‪辣椒樹不是這區的特色,妳撒謊

29
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,631
‪你們想害死我們,去告他們

30
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,467
‪把這件事告訴董事會
‪警告他們也可能會遭殃

31
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,720
‪之後他們會投票換掉你們
‪因為董事會成員討厭兩件事

32
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,764
‪賠錢和被謀殺

33
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,681
‪好吧

34
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:44,270
‪其實我們來是知道你們過生日
‪想帶禮物來給你們驚喜

35
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,605
‪送來死亡嗎?

36
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,024
‪不,是別的東西,超讚的

37
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,318
‪為什麼要送禮物?
‪你們根本不喜歡我們

38
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:54,197
‪胡說,我們當然喜歡你們了,兄弟

39
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:59,285
‪別這樣,我們一直想交好
‪只是一開始就不順利

40
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,454
‪也許是被你們的酷勁嚇到了

41
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,290
‪-我們是很酷
‪-所以才沒人跟我們說話

42
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,334
‪好吧,禮物我們收了,在哪裡?

43
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,670
‪安娜,去拿禮物

44
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,465
‪禮物?禮物是你的主意
‪還是你去拿吧

45
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:19,264
‪安娜,我們忘了禮物,天啊,真尷尬

46
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:24,144
‪不會吧,怎麼老是這樣?
‪真的抱歉,但你們知道嗎?

47
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,022
‪這整個經歷本身就是禮物,所以...

48
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,150
‪晚安

49
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,235
‪你們可以去拿

50
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,529
‪對啊,如果真的有禮物的話

51
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,949
‪最好有,否則就表示
‪你們無心跟我們交友

52
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,827
‪來這裡是心懷不軌,還想撞死我

53
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,871
‪那我們就得通報條子杯杯

54
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:48,877
‪好吧,兩位,當然有禮物
‪如果沒有,那代表什麼?

55
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,296
‪我們...照你們的邏輯走

56
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,341
‪我們上了車,居心叵測一路開來這裡

57
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,178
‪關掉車頭燈,到這裡已經夠詭異了

58
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:02,056
‪把車停進你們的車道
‪撞上外出拿信的你?

59
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,933
‪你是這個意思嗎?

60
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,019
‪聽聽自己說的,太荒謬了!

61
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,606
‪我們明天會把禮物送過來

62
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,108
‪包你們喜歡

63
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,153
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

64
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,660
‪這應該是我唯一一次這麼說

65
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,622
‪但你得先停下手邊工作
‪專心處理一個嚴重干擾

66
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,457
‪妳竟敢打斷我工作?

67
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,210
‪開玩笑的,有什麼事?

68
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,047
‪我們得送禮物去給雙胞胎
‪記得嗎?以免你因為謀殺未遂坐牢

69
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,090
‪尤其是你已經清楚解釋過程

70
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,927
‪就連二流律師都可能當成是犯罪自白

71
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,304
‪老天,我根本沒想過繼續管這件事

72
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:45,266
‪不如送他們專為雙人設計的東西吧?

73
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,770
‪像什麼?對講機?伴侶按摩?

74
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,732
‪我喜歡,還是駿馬套裝?
‪一個穿馬尾,另一個馬頭

75
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,318
‪根據我的經驗,後半部吸不太到空氣

76
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,779
‪妳想在後面?不想主導媽?

77
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,239
‪抱歉,打擾到你們了嗎?

78
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,199
‪是的,謝謝你

79
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,868
‪我們在實驗室工作超久了

80
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:07,830
‪可以的話,我想提早下班
‪出去放鬆一下

81
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:11,167
‪沒問題,我們可以去看電影
‪或去買駿馬套裝?

82
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,379
‪不,我想去酒吧
‪只約實驗室的工作人員

83
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,714
‪而且沒人要穿馬套裝

84
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,550
‪你說得對,我們應該去喝一杯
‪只有研究員,抱歉,安娜

85
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:23,805
‪他從來沒被邀請過參加活動
‪所以搞不清楚狀況

86
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,933
‪我沒說你,老兄,你沒受邀

87
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:31,604
‪我愛你,我知道沒受邀很痛苦
‪但這一刻會讓你更堅強

88
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,855
‪不,我...

89
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,110
‪我喜歡這個點子
‪信用卡拿去,今晚我請客

90
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,113
‪-謝謝
‪-我欣賞你關照朋友

91
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,032
‪也許還有人不只是朋友?露比

92
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,034
‪好吧,我要走了

93
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,872
‪我想到了,給雙胞胎的完美禮物

94
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,000
‪-床單
‪-不是,為何選床單?

95
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,210
‪因為合適的寢具能替臥房增色

96
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,297
‪好吧,先去拿我的東西,再去買床單

97
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,427
‪我有好消息

98
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,387
‪爸說我們可以提早下班?你爸?

99
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,974
‪對,他還奉上他的信用卡

100
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,269
‪太棒了,我需要這個忘掉前任

101
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,563
‪那個你沒真正約會過的人資男?

102
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,189
‪能不能別在我面前提到他?

103
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:19,485
‪你跟露比進展得怎麼樣?
‪她今晚會來嗎?

104
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:24,240
‪希望吧,我喜歡她
‪也許我們以後會有發展

105
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,783
‪可能會,也可能不會

106
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,702
‪好喔,贏家氣勢

107
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:31,789
‪今晚我們要各自享受火辣合意的性愛

108
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,499
‪可能會,也可能不會

109
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,169
‪-沒錯,敬可能發生的事
‪-對

110
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,757
‪我們今晚要出去,妳會一起來吧?

111
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,719
‪一定去, 我本來要回家
‪跟布萊恩一起看新聞節目

112
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,095
‪但這活動很好

113
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:49,307
‪我從不出去喝酒狂歡
‪都不知道怎麼做呢

114
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,852
‪萬一我做不到呢?
‪如果我只擅長看新聞節目怎麼辦?

115
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,398
‪記得我們聊過嗎?妳說
‪“別被懶骨頭露娜嚇得待在家

116
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,360
‪挺身對抗,必要的話就咬她”
‪所以妳非去不可

117
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,612
‪妳說得對,謝謝妳沒咬我

118
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,449
‪也許我會跳舞或喝著火的飲料

119
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,535
‪吐出來,再喝一次
‪就像該死的羅馬人那樣

120
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,704
‪妳開心就好,但別做以上那些事

121
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,416
‪妳期待跟傑克森出去嗎?

122
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,212
‪對,我喜歡他,我們的約會有點波折

123
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,965
‪但之後他表現得很正常
‪我喜歡正常人

124
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,092
‪第三優秀的物種

125
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,177
‪是第四,記得嗎?還有鯨魚

126
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,720
‪有道理

127
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:33,101
‪-妳的禮物選得真好
‪-謝謝

128
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,145
‪好到另一個雙胞胎
‪會求我們回來開車撞他

129
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,814
‪我很樂意這麼做

130
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,526
‪-生日快樂!
‪-生日快樂!

131
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,529
‪這就是我們這次沒忘記的禮物

132
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,530
‪你們看!

133
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,825
‪雙人自行車,給兩個人騎的
‪符合你們的人數

134
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,535
‪絕對不能一個人騎

135
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,121
‪要騎也可以,但感覺很淒涼
‪好像有人死了

136
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,416
‪雙人腳踏車是很棒的禮物
‪前四次收到時

137
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,625
‪對,我們有四輛

138
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,629
‪每個人都買這個送雙胞胎

139
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,215
‪但他們也都在車籃裡放了床包組嗎?

140
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,383
‪沒有,幹嘛這麼做?

141
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,843
‪讓房間增色

142
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,805
‪聽著,重點是我們已經盡力
‪這就夠了

143
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,391
‪如果你們真的像昨晚說的
‪想跟我們交朋友

144
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,726
‪就不會隨便弄個破禮物過來

145
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:18,146
‪他們不在乎我們,直接提告吧

146
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,232
‪罪名是什麼?
‪殺人未遂還是二級謀殺?

147
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:24,110
‪-我去拿我的憲法大全
‪-我也去拿

148
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,322
‪-情況非常糟
‪-我知道

149
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:31,200
‪他們可能很寂寞
‪我們也許得認真跟他們交朋友

150
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,535
‪也許妳說對了

151
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:35,580
‪-嗨!
‪-嗨!

152
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,039
‪我們找不到

153
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,917
‪我家只有《獨立宣言》
‪但裡面沒有謀殺的法規

154
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:44,714
‪兩位,我們沒有企圖謀殺
‪我們是好夥伴,別這樣

155
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,468
‪-過來吧,生日快樂
‪-抱一下

156
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,346
‪只有提傑過生日嗎?
‪所以我才得不到擁抱?

157
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,390
‪你也想抱一個嗎?

158
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:59,020
‪我可不會隨便假設每個人都愛抱抱
‪因為有些人不喜歡

159
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,521
‪好吧,抱就抱

160
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,773
‪夠久了

161
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,400
‪感覺真好

162
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,320
‪夥伴,我們接下來要做什麼?

163
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,572
‪可多著呢,對吧,安娜?

164
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:13,910
‪沒錯,我們要瘋狂慶生
‪讓你們忘了自己是誰

165
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,077
‪-讚喔
‪-讚喔

166
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,916
‪一、二、三

167
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,878
‪感覺真爽

168
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:27,215
‪這一定不會灼傷食道,我也不想哭

169
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,009
‪我也是,因為我玩得如魚得水

170
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,596
‪要跳舞嗎?
‪這是我從來沒想過會做的事

171
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,475
‪看看你,有人回家一趟

172
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,101
‪你結束後要去參加成年禮嗎?

173
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,062
‪我換衣服因為全身都是實驗室的味道

174
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,356
‪有時有些人愛取笑是因為眼紅

175
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,526
‪你儀容整潔,很帥
‪祭司一定會喜歡

176
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,070
‪我們去喝一杯吧
‪喝過嗆辣體熱邊緣嗎?

177
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,781
‪這是哪門子問題
‪居然問一個轉大人的猶太男孩?

178
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,164
‪是我男友,他一直傳簡訊來

179
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,251
‪他會因為妳跟我這型的異性出去
‪覺得受威脅嗎?

180
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,045
‪他只是習慣我待在家

181
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:10,132
‪他問我怎麼分辨義大利麵熟了

182
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,470
‪往牆上丟這招真的可行嗎?

183
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,557
‪感情關係,老天,它們真的...

184
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,601
‪其實我不知道,我沒真的談過

185
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,353
‪值得嗎?妳開不開心?

186
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:26,065
‪我比單身時更快樂,統計上來說

187
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,817
‪-統計上?
‪-對

188
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,195
‪談戀愛的人感到快樂的機率高了9.3%

189
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:34,824
‪今晚我們要幫你找個對象
‪讓你也成為統計數字

190
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,201
‪-說得我好像會被謀殺
‪-應該不會

191
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,495
‪雖然上千集的新聞節目並不認同

192
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,207
‪天啊

193
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,711
‪那是人資部的帥哥嗎?
‪他來這裡幹嘛?

194
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,965
‪不知道,我騙他約會鴿子的原因
‪配合我就對了

195
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,342
‪嗨

196
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:57,096
‪麥爾坎,你阿姨還好嗎?
‪她們被迫截肢了?

197
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:58,931
‪的確是

198
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,727
‪-糖尿病是很嚴重的病
‪-不是被蛇咬嗎?

199
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,314
‪沒錯,我只是開新話題

200
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,566
‪天啊,我討厭糖尿病,你們呢?

201
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,484
‪簡直糟透了

202
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,571
‪我不想打擾,只是關心你阿姨的狀況

203
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,282
‪我跟幾個朋友來,待會過來打招呼吧

204
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:19,827
‪你應該出擊的

205
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:24,415
‪但我之前騙了他
‪他也不喜歡艾利斯,太多包袱了

206
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:27,001
‪今晚我們要把包袱留在門口

207
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:30,546
‪人資男很可愛,他也喜歡你
‪去吧,去做愛

208
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,383
‪我們全家人都去了婚宴

209
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,303
‪新娘丟出捧花,砸到我堂妹

210
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,431
‪然後我嫂子冷不防跳出來
‪從空中攔截

211
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,683
‪大吼:“今天別想,偷吃的臭婊子”

212
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,603
‪不會吧!是艾迪還是卡洛斯的老婆?

213
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,272
‪艾迪的,等等
‪你怎麼知道我兄弟的名字?

214
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,275
‪妳前幾天說湖濱度假時提過他們

215
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,693
‪你還記得湖的事?

216
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,279
‪你真的有聽進去

217
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,907
‪-很奇怪嗎?
‪-對,女人最討厭男人認真聽

218
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,160
‪-我開玩笑的,很窩心
‪-小露!

219
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,538
‪天啊,庫柏,你好嗎?

220
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:08,292
‪我很好,我剛從
‪太平洋屋脊步道健行回來

221
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,796
‪還經過卑詩省
‪妳一定會喜歡,有美妙的日落

222
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:12,755
‪我喜歡日落

223
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,133
‪這是傑克森,傑克森,庫柏
‪庫柏,傑克森

224
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,178
‪對了,妳有沒有聽說
‪布蘭登要徒手攀登半圓丘?

225
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,680
‪那傢伙太傳奇了

226
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,683
‪他沒掌握資訊就一次完攀
‪而且在最險峻的路段找到固定點

227
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,725
‪太屌了

228
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,355
‪我也認識叫布蘭登的傢伙
‪所以知道他們有多瘋狂

229
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,358
‪-這傢伙是誰?
‪-他是我朋友

230
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,443
‪我們一起工作,禮貌一點

231
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,239
‪我要回座位了

232
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,825
‪但太平洋屋脊步道的終點
‪在加拿大邊境

233
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,828
‪如果你想把健行當成個人特色
‪最好記清楚名字

234
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,751
‪一起踏步,舉起手,放下來

235
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:54,547
‪就是這樣,兩位,放輕鬆

236
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,133
‪別害羞,屁股扭起來

237
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,846
‪還差一點,找到節奏就行了

238
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,639
‪還有推動骨盆

239
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,433
‪對空做活塞運動

240
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,146
‪這個派對太遜了

241
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,065
‪我們要報警逮捕你們
‪至少看起來很有趣

242
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,652
‪不好了,警察要把我抓進倫敦塔

243
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:20,573
‪快去通知我父親,格雷伯爵
‪還有我哥哥大笨鐘!

244
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,491
‪很厲害,信手拈來英國事物

245
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,534
‪柏靈頓熊

246
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,660
‪又中了

247
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:25,953
‪我要報案

248
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,249
‪慢著,今晚沒有人會被逮捕
‪我們還有更多計畫 ,對吧,安娜?

249
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,625
‪沒錯

250
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,587
‪-對吧,艾利斯?
‪-對,妳說呢,安娜?

251
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,840
‪你覺得該不該跟他們說

252
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,426
‪傑克森在酒吧辦的生日趴?

253
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,635
‪對,沒錯

254
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:45,598
‪我們就招了,我們一直在拖延
‪要等你們真正的派對準備好

255
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,682
‪我們真正的派對?

256
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:50,394
‪對,在酒吧
‪有十幾個人要幫你們慶生

257
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,105
‪聽起來不錯

258
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,109
‪好,給我們一點時間換上夜用雪靴

259
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,448
‪他們是哪根蔥啊,敢嘲諷英國文化?
‪那他們的文化呢?

260
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,368
‪“我吃大號餐,歷史從50年前才開始”

261
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,411
‪真是難以忍受

262
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,206
‪我還跟魔術師大衛布萊恩
‪在棺材裡度過一天呢

263
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,707
‪其實只有六分鐘

264
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,501
‪對,但我們面對面

265
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,464
‪抱歉打擾了
‪這些人也是人資部同事嗎?

266
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,009
‪不是,也許你不信
‪但我不只是人資部的宅男

267
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,761
‪這是我的蜜蜂社團

268
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,095
‪對,我們是愛蜂人

269
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,223
‪-酷
‪-是很酷

270
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,059
‪除非你覺得研究、欣賞和嘗試拯救

271
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,687
‪我們地球的重要昆蟲不算酷

272
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,650
‪我們可以聊兩句非蜜蜂的話題嗎?

273
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,443
‪好,我可以休息一下

274
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,029
‪蜜蜂永遠不會休息

275
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,161
‪別擔心庫柏,露比不喜歡他

276
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,996
‪看起來喜歡

277
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,624
‪他們以前約炮過,但只是玩玩

278
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,877
‪-露比覺得他床上功夫很強
‪-這樣說無濟於事

279
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,713
‪也許我該過去看看,我爸會這麼說

280
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,633
‪“傑克森,運用你的核心肌群
‪回到那裡去

281
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,094
‪別浪費我的基因,我無所不知”

282
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,055
‪也許你該聽那個卡通版老爸的話

283
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,975
‪對,庫柏比我好不到哪裡去

284
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,435
‪這就對了,他有什麼是你沒有的?

285
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,145
‪沒錯

286
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,774
‪其實

287
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:21,277
‪他有露比

288
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:28,284
‪我喜歡你,所以我想跟你說實話
‪我阿姨過世了

289
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,661
‪天啊,麥爾坎,你還好嗎?

290
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,831
‪很好,她十年前就死了
‪兩腳完好如初

291
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,124
‪我對你瞎掰

292
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,128
‪因為我聽到你說艾利斯壞話
‪而想取消約會

293
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,840
‪你的反應真大,你一定很在乎他

294
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,760
‪我小時候爸爸不常在家
‪但艾利斯總是陪在我身邊

295
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:52,349
‪他還幫我找到第一份工作
‪所以我也許太崇拜他了

296
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,060
‪但他改變了我的人生

297
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,605
‪他對我來說
‪就是你和你朋友口中的女王蜂

298
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:02,610
‪大家好,壽星查茲和提傑駕到

299
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:07,156
‪快過來一起慶祝
‪因為你們受邀來參加他們的生日趴

300
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,951
‪飲料算我的

301
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,538
‪麥爾坎,過來

302
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,126
‪你要走了嗎?

303
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,046
‪沒有,我很喜歡跟你相處

304
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,505
‪沒關係,去吧

305
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,841
‪謝謝你體諒我的毛病

306
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,470
‪我來了

307
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,639
‪天啊,真好玩

308
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,974
‪-什麼真好玩?
‪-全部啊,麥爾坎

309
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,309
‪大家退後

310
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,978
‪別擠在貴賓身邊,人人都有機會

311
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,775
‪這些人是誰?沒半個我們認識的
‪你有邀請朱利安嗎?

312
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,153
‪我們想過了,但最後為了保有驚喜

313
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,656
‪只邀請你們不認識的人

314
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,824
‪今晚你們可以交新朋友,像是麥爾坎

315
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,660
‪他非常友善,對吧?

316
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,411
‪沒錯,你最喜歡什麼顏色?

317
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:57,289
‪-紅紫色,謝謝你問我
‪-我的也是紅紫色

318
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,457
‪不會吧

319
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,376
‪真的,但再稍微淺一點

320
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,461
‪淺的紅紫色不就是桃紅嗎?

321
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,463
‪不是,你們有準備蛋糕嗎?

322
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,715
‪對啊,這是生日趴,應該要有蛋糕

323
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,134
‪有蛋糕,我去拿

324
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,303
‪你們兩個帥氣的壽星屁孩

325
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,181
‪那你最喜歡什麼顏色?

326
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,100
‪天啊,別逼我選

327
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,935
‪-一定要
‪-你逼我們挑了

328
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:19,687
‪是藍色

329
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,397
‪-你居然喜歡藍色?
‪-不可能

330
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,148
‪我們要請你喝一杯

331
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,609
‪我們會幫你點藍色的,這傢伙...

332
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,031
‪-哇塞,你怎麼做到的?
‪-我只是問關於他們的事

333
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,785
‪我喜歡烈酒,這是我朋友

334
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,996
‪真的能減輕傷害

335
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,706
‪或者加劇,我分不出來

336
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,249
‪露比的事我很遺憾

337
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,168
‪沒關係,我們沒有交往
‪她可以隨心所欲

338
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:47,840
‪我覺得你比庫柏更厲害、有趣與古怪

339
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,258
‪他永遠都比不上

340
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:54,346
‪謝謝,我也覺得
‪妳很厲害、有趣與古怪

341
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,264
‪謝謝

342
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,478
‪我們來跳舞吧?

343
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,398
‪我整晚都在邀人,但沒人想跳

344
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,484
‪這裡不適合跳舞,去吃煎餅怎麼樣?

345
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,194
‪我真的很喜歡煎餅

346
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,489
‪我認識一個傢伙,他叫丹尼
‪整晚都在做煎餅

347
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:16,076
‪你認識丹尼?太酷了
‪那傢伙有八份糖漿

348
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,162
‪丹尼的糖漿可多了

349
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,788
‪要不要去跟他打個招呼?

350
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:23,417
‪好,但果汁正在測試我的膀胱底線

351
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,170
‪好吧,我去結帳,要比賽嗎?

352
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,047
‪太蠢了,開始!

353
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,594
‪傑克森

354
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,054
‪爸? 你在這裡做什麼?

355
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,847
‪我在找雙胞胎的蛋糕

356
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:39,224
‪你不是說真的吧

357
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,728
‪-你跟露比怎麼樣?
‪-她跟另一個男人走了

358
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,354
‪好吧

359
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,940
‪我不介意,你可以數落我做錯了什麼

360
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,485
‪我應該更有自信,應該設法阻止她

361
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,612
‪更堅定立場,讓你的理髮師剪髮

362
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,780
‪不,我覺得很棒

363
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,491
‪-為什麼?
‪-因為這才是人生

364
00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:00,037
‪勇於面對、努力嘗試
‪我一直希望你懂這些道理

365
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,873
‪就算出了差錯,你也會越挫越勇
‪看看我

366
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,584
‪我撞到一個雙胞胎
‪現在還在找生日蛋糕

367
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,044
‪我們都在設法解決問題

368
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,008
‪沒想到你會這麼通情達理
‪而且不帶半點批判

369
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,802
‪抱歉,我沒有蛋糕

370
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,011
‪我接受你的道歉

371
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,474
‪嗨,艾利斯
‪老天,我們必須回去工作嗎?

372
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,935
‪因為酒醉的科學會很有趣

373
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,814
‪沒錯,但不用
‪我得去廚房找生日蛋糕

374
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,024
‪雖然我實在不信
‪做出難吃玉米片的傢伙

375
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:31,610
‪有什麼做糕點的技能

376
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,614
‪你爸為什麼要找蛋糕?

377
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,533
‪不知道,他做事需要理由嗎?

378
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,409
‪你們好

379
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,411
‪露比,我以為妳離開了

380
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,914
‪跟庫柏嗎?怎麼可能
‪我只是叫車送走他

381
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,416
‪我不會離開,你以為我們聊到一半

382
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,918
‪我會因為阿貓阿狗丟下你?

383
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,420
‪他可不是阿貓阿狗,他是庫哥

384
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,757
‪他去加拿大流浪
‪自以為走過太平洋屋脊步道

385
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:56,301
‪傑克森,別這樣
‪我跟你玩得很開心

386
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,720
‪我也跟妳玩得很愉快

387
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,185
‪我跟露娜正要去吃煎餅
‪妳要一起來嗎?

388
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:09,106
‪其實我想留在這裡
‪看麥爾坎在忙什麼

389
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,613
‪-妳確定嗎?
‪-對

390
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,825
‪我一直想學習更耗時的握手方式

391
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,244
‪你們去玩吧,好耶

392
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,080
‪要去吃煎餅嗎?

393
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,833
‪或者我們可以不吃煎餅

394
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,585
‪好喔

395
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,641
‪魷魚!真好玩

396
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,645
‪還有你,跟安娜的同人小說
‪寫的完全不同

397
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,147
‪妳寫了關於我的同人小說?

398
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,399
‪我是吸血鬼嗎?

399
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:55,194
‪最好是你追得上其他吸血鬼

400
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,864
‪但好吧,如果你不再提這件事
‪我就讓你變成吸血鬼

401
00:19:58,864 --> 00:19:59,823
‪好耶

402
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,784
‪生日快樂!我們準備了牛肉蛋糕

403
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:06,371
‪因為你們兩個是猛男

404
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,498
‪-聽到他們怎麼叫我們嗎?
‪-我喜歡

405
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:11,418
‪-我們一直在健身
‪-很高興能被看見

406
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,089
‪好耶!

407
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,719
‪(妳什麼時候回來?)

408
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,929
‪(現在要走了)

409
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,365
‪看看那兩個怪胎
‪跟我們的怪胎一起跳舞

410
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:27,411
‪-我們今晚促成了友誼
‪-我們成功了,對吧?

411
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,416
‪-沒朋友一定很難受
‪-對

412
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,293
‪妳有朋友嗎?

413
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,003
‪不多

414
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,672
‪-你呢?
‪-多半時候沒有

415
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,008
‪凱蒂是我的朋友

416
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,303
‪等等,我們是朋友嗎?

417
00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,264
‪不知道,我們算嗎?

418
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:51,018
‪仔細想想
‪妳跟我一起經歷過綁架和車禍

419
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,187
‪我被勒索時
‪你也拿著廁紙陪在我身邊

420
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,189
‪也許我們是朋友

421
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:57,983
‪敬友誼

422
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,821
‪那你最喜歡什麼顏色?

423
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,698
‪-我們不必這麼做
‪-謝天謝地

424
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,456
‪你們真的為我們兄弟辦成了生日趴

425
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,415
‪對,很好玩

426
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,417
‪那我們都沒事了吧?

427
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,171
‪-對,我們不會提告
‪-你們是自己人

428
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,923
‪真希望當初我們沒有被迫投票換掉你

429
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:25,010
‪這可妙了,因為投票的時候
‪你們有選擇

430
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,263
‪對,但我們真的需要你幫公司賺到錢

431
00:22:28,263 --> 00:22:31,183
‪因為我們喜歡你,但我們更愛錢

432
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,562
‪-錢!
‪-錢!

433
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,105
‪我們會沒事的

434
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:40,359
‪明天我們會加足馬力
‪做出不可思議的成果

435
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,446
‪因為我們有全世界最認真、最勤奮的

436
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,281
‪專業人才

437
00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:53,121
‪明天,我們重新開始

438
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,332
‪不會再分心了

439
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:19,040
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷