1
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,841
[whimsical music playing]
2
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,762
- [tires screeching]
- [twin grunts]
3
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:15,598
[whimsical music ends]
4
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:18,059
- I think you just hit a twin.
- Uh-oh.
5
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,937
- Do you think he's dead?
- [twin] Ellis Dragon!
6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,605
You son of a bitch!
7
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,108
Well, he's not dead, so that's a win.
8
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,944
[twin] Are you just in there talking?
Get out of the car and help me!
9
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:31,239
- He's being so pushy.
- I know. I hate to reward that behavior.
10
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,617
[twin groaning]
11
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,911
Hey, one of the twins, are you okay?
12
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,289
I'm Chaz. I'm the sporty one,
and no, my arm really hurts.
13
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,250
Oh my God, Chaz! What did they do to you?
14
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,502
They hit me with their car,
and I totally scraped my arm.
15
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,464
And they did it after midnight,
so they did it on our birthday.
16
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,049
Oh, it's your birthday? Happy birthday.
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,634
That's wonderful news.
Do you have any plans?
18
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,595
Why should we tell you?
You tried to kill Chaz.
19
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,097
[splutters] Whoa!
No one tried to kill anyone.
20
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,183
The real question is
who walks in their driveway
21
00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,309
in the middle of the night?
22
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,935
Yeah, that's insane.
23
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,520
I was getting the mail.
24
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,981
Why were you pulling up to our house
with your headlights off?
25
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,691
Don't try to make this about us.
26
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:09,903
You're the one scurrying around out here
like a rat looking for your night mail.
27
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,029
They're up to something.
28
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,074
- We should call the police.
- Okay, we'll tell you the truth.
29
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,534
[sighs] We were in the neighborhood
because Anna...
30
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:17,452
[Anna] Mm?
31
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:18,953
...is house hunting.
32
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,332
Yes. Yes, I am. I love this area.
33
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,959
- Because of the pepper trees?
- Because of the pepper trees.
34
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,712
Ha! Pepper trees are not a feature
of this neighborhood. You lied!
35
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,631
You're here to kill us.
We should press charges.
36
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,467
And tell the board what they did,
and that any of them could be next.
37
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,720
Yeah, then they're gonna vote you out.
There's two things board members hate.
38
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,764
Losing money and being murdered.
39
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,681
Okay.
40
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:44,270
The truth is we knew it was your birthday,
and we wanted to surprise you with a gift.
41
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,605
Is it death?
42
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,024
No, it's something else.
Something amazing.
43
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,318
Why would you get us a gift?
You don't even like us.
44
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:54,197
Nonsense. Of course we like you, bros.
45
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,282
[hesitating] Come on, my boys.
46
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,285
We always wanted to be friends.
We just got off on the wrong foot.
47
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,454
Probably because we're intimidated
by how cool you are.
48
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,290
- We are pretty cool.
- That's probably why nobody talks to us.
49
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,334
Okay, we'll accept your gift. Where is it?
50
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:07,961
- Anna?
- Hmm?
51
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,337
- Get the gift.
- [clicks tongue]
52
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,172
The gift. The gift was your idea.
53
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,674
Why don't you go and get it?
54
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:19,264
Oh, Anna, we forgot the gift.
Oh, my... So embarrassing.
55
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:24,144
Oh my God. Why does this always happen?
I'm so sorry, you guys. But you know what?
56
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,022
This whole experience
has kind of been a gift, so, um...
57
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,150
Good night.
58
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,235
You could go get it.
59
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,529
[TJ] Yeah, if there even is a gift.
60
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,949
There better be. If there isn't, it means
you don't really want to be our friends,
61
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,702
and you came over here
for some evil reason and ran me over.
62
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,871
Then we'd have to report it to the po-po.
63
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,998
Wh-- Okay. [chuckles]
64
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,125
Guys, of course there's a gift.
65
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,877
Because if there wasn't,
it would mean what?
66
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,296
That we... Let's follow your logic.
67
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,338
We get in our car.
68
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,341
We drive all the way down here
for some nefarious reason,
69
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,178
turn our lights off, already weird,
70
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:02,056
pull into your driveway and hit you
while you were getting your night mail?
71
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,933
That's what you're saying?
72
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,019
Can you hear yourselves? You sound insane.
73
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,606
We will bring you your gift tomorrow.
74
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,108
You're gonna love it.
75
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,027
[whimsical music playing]
76
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,867
[whimsical music ends]
77
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,660
This may be the only time I ever say this,
78
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,622
but I need you to stop working
and focus on a huge distraction.
79
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,457
How dare you interrupt my work?
80
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,210
Kidding. What are we getting into?
81
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,128
We have to get a gift
for the twins, remember?
82
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,047
So you don't go to jail
for almost killing one.
83
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,132
Especially since you laid out
exactly what happened,
84
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,927
which even a mediocre lawyer
could interpret as a confession.
85
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:42,013
Oh God, I've never wanted
to get back to work more. [sighs]
86
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:45,266
All right. What if we get them something
specifically designed for two people?
87
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,770
Like what? Walkie-talkies?
A couples massage?
88
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,939
I love that. Or a horse costume?
89
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,732
One could be the tail,
one could be the head.
90
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,318
In my experience with those,
there's not a lot of air in the back.
91
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,779
You wanted to be in the back.
You didn't want to steer.
92
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,239
Sorry, am I interrupting?
93
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,157
Yes, and thank you.
94
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,701
So we've been working crazy long hours
in the lab.
95
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,370
Uh, if it's all right with you,
96
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830
I was thinking we could cut out early
and blow off some steam.
97
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,957
We could all go to a movie,
98
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,167
or what if we got into
a couple of horse costumes?
99
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,379
No, I was thinking more of a bar,
and just the lab people,
100
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,714
and no one would be in a horse costume.
101
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,550
You're right. We should get drinks.
It should be just us. Sorry, Anna.
102
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:23,805
He's never not been invited to something.
He doesn't understand what's happening.
103
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,933
I'm not talking about you, bud.
You're not invited.
104
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:31,604
I love you, and I know this is painful,
but this moment's gonna make you stronger.
105
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,855
No, I...
106
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,026
I like this. Here. Here's my credit card.
The evening is on me.
107
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:40,113
- Wow. Thank you.
- You're looking out for friends.
108
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,032
And maybe somebody
who's more than a friend? Ruby.
109
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,034
Okay, I'm gonna go.
110
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,036
[distant phone ringing]
111
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,872
I've got it.
The perfect gift for the twins.
112
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,000
- Sheets?
- No. Why would it be sheets?
113
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,210
Because the right bedding
really makes a room.
114
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,297
Okay. Well, we'll get my thing,
and then we'll get sheets.
115
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,300
[whimsical music playing]
116
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,427
Hey, I've got good news.
117
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,387
Dad said we could leave early? Your dad?
118
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,974
Yes. And he gave us... his credit card.
119
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,267
[exhales] Awesome.
120
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,269
This is just what I need
to get over my ex.
121
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:15,189
- The HR guy you never went out with?
- Can you not bring him up in front of me?
122
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,274
[Jackson] Mm.
123
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,485
So how are things going with Ruby?
Is she gonna come tonight?
124
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,070
I hope so. I like her,
125
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:24,240
and I feel like something
could maybe happen one day in the future.
126
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,783
Potentially. Or maybe not.
127
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,702
Okay, baller status.
128
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:31,789
We are going to respectfully bag
some hot consenting tail tonight.
129
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,499
Potentially. Or maybe not.
130
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,169
- Here's to something maybe happening.
- Yeah.
131
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,628
[whimsical music plays]
132
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,715
We are on for tonight,
and you're coming, right?
133
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:44,719
Definitely. I was just gonna go home
and watch Dateline with Brian like always,
134
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,095
but this is good.
135
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:49,640
I never go out drinking and partying.
I don't even know how to do it.
136
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,852
What if I can't do it? What if
I'm only good at watching Dateline?
137
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,146
Whoa. Remember? We talked about this.
138
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,523
You said, “Don’t let Couch Luna scare me
into staying home."
139
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,360
"Stand up to her.
Bite her if you have to.” So you’re going.
140
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,196
You're right.
And thank you for not biting me.
141
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,407
Maybe I'll dance,
or drink something that's on fire.
142
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,367
Then throw it up,
143
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,535
then do it all over again,
like a frigging Roman.
144
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,704
Good for you. Also don't do any of that.
145
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,416
So are you excited
to hang out with Jackson?
146
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,212
Yeah. I like him.
Our date was a little bumpy,
147
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,965
but ever since then, he's been acting
like a normal human, and I love humans.
148
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,092
Third-best species.
149
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,177
Fourth. Remember? Whales.
150
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,720
Oh, yeah.
151
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,305
[whimsical music playing]
152
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:33,101
- You totally nailed that present.
- Thank you.
153
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,145
The other twin's gonna ask us
to come back and run over him.
154
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,814
Which I will gladly do.
155
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,526
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
156
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,529
And here is the present
that we did not forget this time.
157
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,530
Ta-da!
158
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,825
It's a tandem bike. It's for two people.
Which is how many people you are.
159
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,535
You literally can't ride one alone.
160
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,121
Well, you can, but it's sad.
It looks like someone died.
161
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,039
A tandem bicycle's a great gift.
162
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,625
- The first four times.
- Yeah, we have four of them.
163
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,001
[Anna groans]
164
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,629
It's what everyone gets twins.
165
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,215
Does everyone fill the basket with sheets?
166
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,383
No. Why would they?
167
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,843
To pull together a room.
168
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,805
Look, the important thing is we tried,
and that's enough.
169
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,391
If you really wanted to be our friends,
like you said last night,
170
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,726
you wouldn't just drop off
some crappy present and go.
171
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:18,146
Yeah. They don't care about us.
We should press charges.
172
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,232
What would it be? Attempted manslaughter
or second-degree murder?
173
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:24,152
- I’ll get my copy of the Constitoosh.
- I'm gonna get mine too.
174
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,322
- This is going terribly.
- I know.
175
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:31,200
I think they may be lonely.
We might have to really be their friends.
176
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,535
I think you might be right.
177
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,245
[both groaning]
178
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,580
- Hi!
- Hi!
179
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,039
We couldn't find them.
180
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,917
All we could find was the Declaraish.
There’s nothing about murder there.
181
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:44,714
Hey, guys, we are not attempted murderers.
We're your buds. Come on.
182
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,468
- Bring it in. Happy birthday.
- Aw, hug.
183
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,346
Is it just TJ's birthday?
Is that the reason I'm not getting a hug?
184
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,390
Oh, you want one too?
185
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,226
Well, I don't go around assuming
that everyone is a hug person
186
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,020
because some people aren't.
187
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,521
Okay, here we go.
188
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,065
Plenty for me. [exhales]
189
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,400
That was nice.
190
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,320
So, buds, what are we gonna do next?
191
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,279
Oh!
192
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,572
So much. Right, Anna?
193
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,990
Absolutely!
194
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,910
We're gonna birthday so hard,
you'll forget which one of you is which.
195
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,077
- Sick.
- Sick.
196
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,079
[light rock music playing]
197
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,916
One, two, three.
198
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,585
[clears throat]
199
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,878
That felt good.
200
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:27,215
It definitely did not burn my esophagus,
and I don't feel like crying.
201
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,009
Same. Because I am in my element.
202
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,596
Should we go dance? That's something
I wouldn't expect myself to do.
203
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:39,101
Ooh! Look at you. Someone went home.
Do you have a bar mitzvah after this?
204
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,062
Okay, I changed
because I smelled like the lab.
205
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,356
Sometimes people poke fun
'cause they're jealous.
206
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,526
You look good. Very handsome.
The rabbi's gonna love it.
207
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,070
Let's get a drink.
Have you ever had a spicy rim job?
208
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,781
What kind of question is that
to ask a 13-year-old Jewish boy?
209
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:52,698
[Ruby chuckles]
210
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,827
[phone chimes]
211
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,164
[sighs] It's my boyfriend.
He keeps texting me.
212
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,251
Does he feel threatened
because you're out with the likes of this?
213
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,795
He's just used to me being home.
214
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,046
[phone chimes]
215
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,132
He wants to know
how to tell when spaghetti is ready.
216
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,676
- [phone chimes]
- [inhales deeply]
217
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,470
And if throwing it at the wall
is a real thing.
218
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,557
Relationships, huh? Man, they are...
219
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,768
Actually, I don't know.
I've never really been in one.
220
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,353
Is it worth it? Are you happy?
221
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:26,065
I'm a lot happier than I would be
if I were single. Statistically.
222
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,817
- Statistically?
- Yeah.
223
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,195
People in relationships
are 9.3% more likely to be happy.
224
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:34,824
And tonight, we're gonna find someone
for you so you can be a statistic.
225
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,159
- That sounds like I'm gonna get murdered.
- Probably not.
226
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,495
Although 1,000 Datelines would disagree.
227
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,207
Oh God.
228
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,711
Is that the hot HR guy?
What's he doing here?
229
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,047
I don't know. I lied to him
about why I bailed on our date.
230
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:50,965
Just play along.
231
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,342
Hi.
232
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:57,096
Malcolm. Hey, how's your aunt?
They have to amputate the foot?
233
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:58,931
They sure did.
234
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,727
- Diabetes is a terrible disease.
- I thought she got bit by a snake?
235
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,314
Right, she did.
I was starting a new conversation.
236
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,566
God, I hate diabetes. Don't you?
237
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,484
It's the worst.
238
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,571
Well, I didn't want to interrupt.
I just wanted to see how your aunt was.
239
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,282
I'm with some friends. Come say hi later.
240
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:19,827
You should hit that.
241
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:23,289
But I lied to him before,
and he doesn't like Ellis.
242
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,415
There's too much baggage.
243
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:27,001
Tonight, we're checking our baggage
at the gate.
244
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:30,546
HR guy is cute, and he likes you.
Go do sex.
245
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,383
So my whole family is at the reception,
246
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,303
the bride throws the bouquet,
and it's headed directly to my cousin.
247
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,389
Out of nowhere, my sister-in-law jumps up,
bats it out of the air
248
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,683
and screams,
"Not today, you cheating bitch!"
249
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,603
[chuckles] Oh my God!
Was that Eddie or Carlos's wife?
250
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,272
Eddie's. Wait, how do you know
my brothers' names?
251
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,275
You mentioned them the other day
talking about the lake you vacation at.
252
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,818
You remember the lake?
253
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:53,736
Wow.
254
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,279
You really listen.
255
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,907
- Is that weird?
- Yes, women hate it when guys listen.
256
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,160
- I'm kidding. It's really sweet.
- [man] Rubes.
257
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,538
Oh my God, Cooper. How are you?
258
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:08,292
Great. I just got back
from hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Yeah.
259
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,796
Went all the way through British Columbia.
You'd have loved it. Amazing sunsets.
260
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:12,755
I like sunsets.
261
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,133
Oh, this is Jackson.
Jackson, Cooper. Cooper, Jackson.
262
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,178
Hey. Did you hear
Brandon's gonna free solo Half Dome?
263
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,680
[Ruby] The guy's a freaking legend.
264
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,683
He climbs onsight with no beta
and still finds bomber holds in the crux.
265
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,725
That's sick.
266
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,772
I know a guy named Brandon as well,
so I know how crazy they can be.
267
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,358
- Who's this guy?
- He's my friend.
268
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,443
We work together. Be nice.
269
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,239
I'm gonna go back to the table,
270
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,825
but hey, man, the Pacific Crest Trail
ends at the Canadian border.
271
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,828
If you're gonna make hiking
your personality, learn the trail names.
272
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,751
Step together. Step together.
Arms up, arms down.
273
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:54,547
That's it, guys.
Keep it loose. Keep it loose.
274
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,133
Don't be shy with those hips.
275
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,384
[dance music playing]
276
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,846
Almost there. Just find that beat.
277
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,639
And pelvic thrust.
278
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,433
Have sex with the air.
279
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,602
[dance music ends]
280
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,146
This party is weak.
281
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,065
Yeah, we'll just have you arrested.
That would at least be fun to watch.
282
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,652
[in British accent] Oh, no, the bobbies
are dragging me to the Tower of London!
283
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:20,573
Someone call my father, The Earl of Grey!
And my brother, Big Ben!
284
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,491
Brilliant. Some random English things.
285
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,534
Paddington!
286
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,660
Another bull's-eye.
287
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:25,953
I'm calling 911.
288
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:30,249
Wait, no one's arresting anyone tonight.
We have a lot more planned. Right, Anna?
289
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,625
We sure do.
290
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,587
- Right, Ellis?
- [chuckles] Yup. Right, Anna?
291
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,840
Do you think we should tell them
292
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,426
about the birthday party
at the bar where Jackson is?
293
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,635
Yes, you're right.
294
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:45,598
We'll be honest. We've been stalling
until your real party was ready.
295
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,682
Our real party?
296
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:50,394
Yes, at a bar with dozens of people there
to celebrate you.
297
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,105
That sounds cool.
298
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,151
All right, just give us a minute
to slide into our evening Uggs.
299
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,363
Who do they think they are,
mocking British culture?
300
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,448
What about their culture?
301
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,325
[in American accent]
"Oh, I eat giant portions,
302
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,368
and I think history started 50 years ago."
303
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,870
[sighs] It's unbearable.
304
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,206
And I spent a day buried in a coffin
with David Blaine.
305
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,501
- Actually, that was six minutes.
- Yeah, but we were face to face.
306
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,464
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Do these guys also work in HR?
307
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:22,134
[chuckles] Uh, no. Believe it or not,
I'm not just an HR dork.
308
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,761
This is my bee society.
309
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,095
Yeah, we're bee people.
310
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,223
- Cool, cool.
- It is cool.
311
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,059
Unless you think studying,
appreciating, and trying to save,
312
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,687
oh, I don't know, the insect linchpin
of our planet isn't cool.
313
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:37,650
Uh-huh. Can we talk for a minute
on a non-bee related topic?
314
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,443
Sure, I can take a bee break.
315
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,029
Bees never get a break.
316
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,656
[Ruby laughs]
317
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,161
Don't worry about Cooper.
Ruby's not into him.
318
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,996
It seems like she is.
319
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,624
They just used to hook up,
but it wasn't serious.
320
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,877
- Ruby just thinks he's great at sex.
- That's not helpful.
321
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,713
Maybe I should go over there.
That's what my dad would say to do.
322
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,633
"Jackson, activate your core
and get back out there."
323
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,094
"Don't waste my genes.
I know everything about everything."
324
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,055
Maybe you should listen
to that cartoon version of your dad.
325
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,975
Yeah. Yeah.
Cooper's not any better than me.
326
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,435
There you go.
What does he have that you don't?
327
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,145
Yes!
328
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,774
Actually,
329
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:21,277
he has Ruby.
330
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,866
I like you,
so I want to tell you the truth.
331
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,284
My aunt is dead.
332
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,661
Oh my God, Malcolm. Are you okay?
333
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,831
Yes. She died ten years ago
with all her feet.
334
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,124
I told you a stupid lie
335
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,128
because I wanted to cancel our date
since you were talking shit about Ellis.
336
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,840
That's an intense reaction.
You must really care about him.
337
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,134
When I was a kid,
my dad wasn't around a lot,
338
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,760
but Ellis was always there for me.
339
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:52,349
He even got me my first job, so, yeah,
I might idolize him a little too much,
340
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,060
but he changed my life.
341
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,605
He's what you and your friends
might call my queen bee.
342
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:58,772
[chuckles]
343
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:02,610
Hey, everyone, it's Chaz and TJ,
the birthday boys!
344
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,986
Gather round to celebrate 'em
345
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:07,156
'cause it's their party
that we invited you to.
346
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,951
Drinks are on my tab.
347
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,454
[cheering]
348
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,538
Malcolm, over here.
349
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,126
Do you need to go?
350
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,046
No. I'm enjoying spending time with you.
351
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,505
It's okay. Just go.
352
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,841
Thank you for understanding my sickness.
353
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,052
[Malcolm grunts]
354
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,470
I'm here.
355
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,639
Oh my God. This is so fun.
356
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,974
- What is?
- Everything, Malcolm.
357
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,309
Stay back, everyone.
358
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,978
Don't crowd around the guests of honor.
You'll all get your chance.
359
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,315
Who are these people?
I don't see anyone we know.
360
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,775
Did you even invite Julian?
361
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,153
We thought about that, but ultimately,
we wanted to protect the surprise,
362
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,656
so we only invited people you don't know.
363
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,824
So now you can make new friends,
like Malcolm.
364
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,660
He's super friendly, aren't you?
365
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,411
Sure am. What's your favorite color?
366
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:57,289
- Magenta. Thank you for asking.
- Mine's also magenta.
367
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,457
No way.
368
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,376
It's true. But a slightly lighter shade.
369
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,461
Wouldn't a lighter shade of magenta
be fuchsia?
370
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,421
No. And did you get us a cake?
371
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,715
Yeah, if this is a birthday party,
there should be a cake.
372
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,134
There is a cake. I'll go get the cake.
373
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,303
You beautiful birthday bastards.
374
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,181
So what's your favorite color?
375
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,100
Oh, no. Don't make me pick.
376
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,935
- [chuckles] You have to.
- You made us pick.
377
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,687
[inhales] It's blue.
378
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,397
- [laughing] You're a blue guy?
- No way.
379
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,148
[TJ] We gotta get you a drink.
380
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,609
We're gonna get you
something blue. This guy...
381
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,031
- Oh my God, how did you do that?
- I just asked them about themselves.
382
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:32,825
Huh.
383
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,785
I like alcohol. It's my friend.
384
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,079
Definitely makes things hurt less.
385
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,706
Or more. Can't tell.
386
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,249
I'm sorry about Ruby.
387
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,669
It's okay. We're not in a relationship.
She can do what she wants.
388
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,840
I think you're a much more remarkable,
interesting, weird person
389
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,258
than Cooper will ever be.
390
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:54,346
Thank you. I think you're remarkable,
interesting, and weird too.
391
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,681
- Thank you.
- [phone chimes]
392
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,478
Should we dance?
393
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,398
I've been asking people all night,
and no one wants to.
394
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,484
It's not really a dancing place,
but how do you feel about pancakes?
395
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,194
I really like pancakes.
396
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,489
Okay, I know a guy. His name is Denny.
He makes pancakes all night long.
397
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:16,076
You know Denny? That's so cool.
That guy has, like, eight syrups.
398
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:18,162
Denny rolls deep in syrups.
399
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,788
Should we go say hi to him?
400
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:23,417
Yes. First, something called Crunk Juice
is testing the limits of my bladder.
401
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,170
Okay, I'm gonna go pay the tab.
Should we race?
402
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,047
That's stupid. Go!
403
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,594
Jackson.
404
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,054
Dad? What are you doing here?
405
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,847
I'm looking for a cake for the twins.
406
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:39,224
That can't be the answer
to the question I just asked you.
407
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,728
- How's everything with Ruby?
- She, uh, left with another guy.
408
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,354
Okay.
409
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,940
I'm okay with it,
but tell me everything I did wrong.
410
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,485
I should've been more confident,
tried to stop her,
411
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,612
stood-up straighter,
got a haircut from your guy.
412
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,780
No, no. I think it's great.
413
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,491
- Why?
- Because that's what life's about.
414
00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:00,037
Putting yourself out there, trying things.
It's all I've ever wanted for you.
415
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,873
When stuff goes wrong, you recover.
I mean, look at me.
416
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,584
I ran over a twin,
now I'm looking for a birthday cake.
417
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,544
We're all just trying to figure shit out.
418
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,088
[chuckles] Wow.
419
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,966
That was surprisingly good parenting.
And with zero judgment.
420
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,136
- Sorry I don't have a cake for you.
- Apology accepted.
421
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,474
Hi, Ellis. Oh God.
Do we have to go back to work?
422
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,935
Because drunk science
would be so much fun.
423
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,814
It is. But no, I have to go to the kitchen
and look for a birthday cake.
424
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,899
Although I'm not confident
in the pastry skills
425
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,610
of the man responsible
for the epic trash can nachos.
426
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:37,658
- Why is your dad looking for a cake?
- I don't know. Why does he do anything?
427
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,409
Hey, guys!
428
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,411
Ruby. I thought you left.
429
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,914
With Cooper? No way.
I just had to get him into an Uber.
430
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,416
Did you think,
in the middle of our conversation,
431
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,918
I would just ditch you for some guy?
432
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,420
Well, it wasn't just some guy.
It was Coop.
433
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,047
He wandered aimlessly around Canada
434
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,757
thinking he was
on the Pacific Crest Trail.
435
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:56,301
Jackson, come on.
I was having a nice time with you.
436
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,720
I was having a nice time with you too.
437
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,181
[Jackson chuckles]
438
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,185
Oh, Luna and I were about to get pancakes.
Do you want to join?
439
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:09,106
Um, actually, I think I'm gonna stay here.
Uh, see what Malcolm's up to.
440
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,613
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
441
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,825
I've always wanted to learn a more
time-consuming way to shake hands.
442
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,244
You two go have fun. Yeah.
443
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,080
Should we get pancakes?
444
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,833
Or we could skip the pancakes.
445
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,585
That works.
446
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:36,884
Turn it.
447
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,641
Squid! That was fun.
448
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,645
And you, you're nothing like you are
in Anna's fan fiction.
449
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,147
You write fan fiction about me?
450
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,399
Oh my God. Am I a vampire?
451
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:55,194
Like you could keep up
with the other vampires.
452
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,195
But okay, fine.
453
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,864
If you never mention this again,
I will make you a vampire.
454
00:19:58,864 --> 00:19:59,823
Yay.
455
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,784
Happy birthday! We got you beef cakes.
456
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:06,371
Because the two of you are beefcakes.
457
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,498
- Did you hear what they called us?
- I love it.
458
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:11,418
- We have been working out.
- It's nice to be seen.
459
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,796
Yay!
460
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,089
[phone chimes]
461
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,219
["Be My Lover" by La Bouche playing]
462
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,598
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
463
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:28,977
♪ La-da-da-dee-da ♪
464
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,605
♪ La-la-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
465
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,777
♪ Be my lover, wanna be my lover ♪
466
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,621
♪ Looking back on all the time
We spent together ♪
467
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,916
♪ You oughta know by now
If you wanna be my lover ♪
468
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,126
♪ Wanna be my lover ♪
469
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:58,257
♪ Go ahead and take your time,
Boy, you gotta feel secure ♪
470
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,635
♪ Before I make you mine
Baby, you have to be sure ♪
471
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:06,848
♪ You wanna be my lover
Wanna be my lover, wanna be my lover ♪
472
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:10,560
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
473
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,398
♪ La-da-da-dee-da-da-da-da ♪
474
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,234
♪ La-da-da-dee-da... ♪
475
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,194
["Love Tonight" by Groovetek playing]
476
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,570
♪ One love... ♪
477
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,365
Look at those weirdos
dancing with our weirdos.
478
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,909
We made friendship happen tonight.
479
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,494
- We really did, didn't we?
- Mm.
480
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,416
- Must be hard not having friends.
- Yeah.
481
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,293
Do you have friends?
482
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,003
Not a lot.
483
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,672
- Do you?
- Mostly no.
484
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,008
Katie was my friend.
485
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,303
Wait a minute, are we friends?
486
00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,264
I don't know. Are we?
487
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:51,018
Well, you've been with me through
a kidnapping and a vehicular assault.
488
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,187
You were there for me with toilet paper
when I was being blackmailed.
489
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,189
Maybe we are friends.
490
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:57,983
To friendship.
491
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,821
So what's your favorite color?
492
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,698
- Oh, we don't have to do that.
- Thank God.
493
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,367
♪ Do you wanna love tonight? ♪
494
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,120
♪ Do you wanna do me right? ♪
495
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,456
You guys really turned it out
for me and my bro.
496
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,415
Yeah, great hang.
497
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,417
So, we all good then?
498
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,171
- Yeah, we're not gonna press charges.
- You guys are familia.
499
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,923
We just hope we're never forced
to vote you out of the company.
500
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:25,010
That's funny because you actually
have a choice over how you vote.
501
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,263
Yeah, but we really need you
to make us some money.
502
00:22:28,263 --> 00:22:31,183
Because we like you, but we love money.
503
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,562
- Money, money! Money, money!
- Money, money! Money, money!
504
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,105
We're gonna be okay.
505
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:40,359
Tomorrow, we kick it into high gear
and pump out something incredible
506
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,446
because we have some of the most serious,
hardworking professionals
507
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,281
in the world.
508
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,035
♪ One love tonight ♪
509
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,161
♪ Baby, give me... ♪
510
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,121
[Ellis] Tomorrow, we start fresh.
511
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,248
No more distractions.
512
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:57,000
♪ One love tonight ♪
513
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,460
♪ Baby, give me the night ♪
514
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,295
♪ One love tonight ♪
515
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:02,381
- [song fades]
- [closing theme playing]
516
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:25,046
[closing theme ends]