1
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,806
‪你那張頭頂著頌缽
‪和老鷹的照片爆紅了

2
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,891
‪他們叫你“怪咖巫師”

3
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:20,103
‪網上甚至瘋傳稻一張
‪稻草人給你大腦的迷因

4
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,813
‪我們得處理這些餘波

5
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,149
‪你在聽嗎?

6
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,860
‪老天,你又冥想入定了嗎?

7
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,574
‪這樣叫醒我很危險

8
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,118
‪我本來和猴子在樹上
‪安撫我的內在小孩

9
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,370
‪現在那個小男孩獨自跟猴群待在一起

10
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:41,291
‪聽起來不像什麼正經的問題
‪比起這個的話

11
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,585
‪我知道,慘不忍睹

12
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:47,130
‪我本來希望猴子給點建議
‪但牠們不發一語

13
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,506
‪我們都很珍惜猴子

14
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,426
‪另一方面,妳的人類好友金來了

15
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:54,345
‪她不是想像出來的
‪也是你在董事會的最佳盟友

16
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,097
‪也許她會有點高見?

17
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,349
‪金來了?她人超好

18
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:01,061
‪我喜歡跟好人在一起
‪讓我覺得很安全

19
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,771
‪太好了,我去叫她

20
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,608
‪喂,待在這裡

21
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,945
‪沒有這裡

22
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,282
‪艾利斯的震盪人生

23
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,996
‪嗨,你要喝咖啡嗎?

24
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,373
‪-我很樂意
‪-來,你先請吧

25
00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:25,460
‪你已經有咖啡了
‪所以嚴格來說,你已經先了

26
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,755
‪沒錯,現在應該你先吧

27
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:29,714
‪謝謝

28
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:31,633
‪好

29
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,511
‪你是麥爾坎吧?

30
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,679
‪一直都是

31
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,725
‪人資部的情況如何?
‪可以問嗎?還是會違反規定?

32
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,894
‪抱歉,我必須舉發你

33
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,562
‪希望我不會被打屁股

34
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,482
‪太過火了,但我的確在人資部工作

35
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,692
‪抱歉,我根本不喜歡打屁股

36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,988
‪這樣說大概也不太妥,我先走了

37
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,954
‪(艾利斯德雷根
‪怪異、瘋狂、荒唐、愚蠢)

38
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,163
‪(光明會,碧草丘)

39
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,794
‪金妮!“金因”序列,快過來

40
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,506
‪看到你的臉真好,艾利斯
‪你還好嗎?

41
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,009
‪我每時每刻都感覺到凱蒂的存在

42
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:18,721
‪我也是,她是我的死黨
‪她就像燦爛的陽光

43
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,850
‪那個記者用她那根大砲把你搞慘了

44
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,310
‪-看得出來妳還是文采過人
‪-我盡量

45
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,229
‪很抱歉我沒參加董事會議

46
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:31,067
‪我現在要用柔和的眼神接觸
‪和輕緩的撫觸

47
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:35,238
‪跟你建立舒服的默契
‪然後開始談不舒服的事

48
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,449
‪聽起來很體貼,真希望妳也能這樣

49
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,578
‪我對你也有很多期望

50
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:45,206
‪那篇報導讓情況變得更複雜

51
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:49,127
‪雙胞胎說你讓公司蒙羞,必須換掉

52
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,837
‪那兩個自以為是的混蛋

53
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,256
‪他們敗壞每個有錢的白人的形象

54
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,675
‪艾利斯,我一直以來都支持你

55
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:59,637
‪但雙胞胎去遊說其他董事會成員
‪不滿情緒可能會蔓延

56
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,807
‪好,我要放手了,因為流手汗了

57
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,601
‪據我所知,你幾乎沒進實驗室

58
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:08,479
‪你現在必須回去工作
‪讓董事會看到真正的進展

59
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,816
‪我喜歡,不只是因為
‪我已經重複這些話好幾星期了

60
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,026
‪不,等等,這就是原因

61
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,695
‪我會照做
‪而且還能趁機跟傑克森相處

62
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,864
‪雙胞胎怎麼辦?他們還是在

63
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,657
‪把那兩個髒東西交給我處理吧

64
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:22,869
‪我最近挖出一些事
‪應該能讓他們從此閉嘴

65
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:23,953
‪快告訴我

66
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,414
‪算了,我想有驚喜

67
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,500
‪告訴我吧,還是算了

68
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:35,298
‪謝謝妳的支持和友誼,金
‪對我來說意義重大

69
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,593
‪安娜,艾利斯有妳的擁護
‪是他上輩子修來的福氣

70
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,011
‪謝謝妳,金

71
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:43,932
‪好吧,很好

72
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,313
‪抱夠久了,多謝

73
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:58,988
‪傑克森

74
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:03,076
‪金!天啊,見到妳真好

75
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,328
‪聽說你這裡工作,你爸一定很高興

76
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,413
‪是啊,但他不讓我得意忘形

77
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,541
‪一個勁批評我的穿著、姿態和性格

78
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:13,461
‪告訴我,你感覺怎麼樣?

79
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,796
‪馬上切入重點

80
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,966
‪我感覺很好
‪還是很難受,情緒來來去去

81
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:22,095
‪我只是希望你知道
‪如果有需要什麼,儘管來找我

82
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,310
‪-眼神交流太久了
‪-那就放鬆吧,聽我倒數

83
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,145
‪三、二、一

84
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,858
‪我還在彈豎琴,下次帶長笛過來吧

85
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,152
‪我們可以表演招牌的吹竹調絲

86
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,155
‪聽起來很棒
‪但我還是想找個更好的名字

87
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,785
‪快分裂啊,討厭的核狀體!

88
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,413
‪你還在等什麼,傲嬌的小王子?

89
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:52,250
‪有了!有些細胞需要被羞辱
‪否則永遠不會分裂

90
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,421
‪所以妳想再給傑克森一次機會嗎?

91
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:01,217
‪-妳真的想談這個嗎?
‪-我沒事,我很滿意我男友

92
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:04,345
‪布萊恩有內涵
‪他喜歡我,我們同時就寢

93
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,888
‪我想想,還有什麼?

94
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:09,350
‪肯定還有更多,我們都喜歡布萊恩
‪和他那雙可靠的布希鞋

95
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,020
‪-別這樣叫他
‪-叫他什麼?

96
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,272
‪-魯蛇
‪-我沒說他是魯蛇

97
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,191
‪-真的嗎?妳可能發誓說有
‪-我只是提到他的布希鞋

98
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,526
‪別再這樣叫他了

99
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:22,864
‪好吧,我知道問題在哪裡
‪妳說“魯蛇”,我就聽到“魯蛇”

100
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,950
‪可惡,我是說“布希鞋”
‪妳說“布希鞋”時,我聽到“魯蛇”

101
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:29,454
‪我知道妳對他
‪穿著那雙蠢鞋趴趴走的看法

102
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,622
‪所以妳和傑克森怎麼樣?

103
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:35,084
‪我喜歡他,他很真誠,這是好事

104
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,295
‪所以如果妳真的沒意見...

105
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:42,091
‪-好吧,我不會再跟他見面了
‪-妳知道怎樣對自己最好

106
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:45,053
‪早安,女士們,有什麼新鮮事?

107
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,638
‪聽說我很哈人資部的性感帥哥

108
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,224
‪-真假,你應該約他出去
‪-我不行

109
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,559
‪-膽小鬼
‪-你真遜

110
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,102
‪太危險了,他在人資部工作

111
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:56,397
‪萬一他不哈我,可以自行舉發我
‪你覺得他會挺誰?

112
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,607
‪他說得對,風險很大

113
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,151
‪如果我們用科學方法
‪判斷他喜不喜歡你呢?

114
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:04,238
‪我們可以用實證方法
‪確定人資男喜歡的類型

115
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,239
‪這樣就能排除風險

116
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,825
‪然後你就可以像度假那樣大膽行動

117
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,954
‪我的確喜歡度假時大膽行動
‪讓我考慮一下

118
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:12,997
‪-膽小鬼!
‪-你真遜

119
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,667
‪-嗨,科學帥哥美女
‪-她還是不知道我們的名字

120
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,253
‪今天是大日子
‪艾利斯又重返實驗室了

121
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,255
‪不是來蜻蜓點水,沒有雜務在身

122
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,841
‪-限制干擾我的事物
‪-不會有干擾

123
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,803
‪太好了,我一度擔心跟我同住的人

124
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,389
‪會跟我在不同實驗室工作

125
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,684
‪好了,我一些想法能讓我們重振旗鼓

126
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:34,685
‪非常好

127
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:38,898
‪盡情享受調製液體和觀察的樂趣吧!

128
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,777
‪我對這裡的工作一竅不通
‪先去處理髒東西了

129
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,782
‪突然想到你們不清楚來龍去脈

130
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:51,619
‪我要去找幾個爛人
‪你們專心研究科學吧

131
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,878
‪-我不需要你看顧我
‪-我想見證魔力

132
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:07,760
‪我知道你們在追蹤碳反應
‪所以我有個瘋狂的想法

133
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,305
‪如果我們能把

134
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,182
‪某種

135
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,934
‪氧化還原劑

136
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,228
‪弄在正極上...

137
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,439
‪爸,你在哭嗎?

138
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,774
‪哪有,我幹嘛哭?我沒事

139
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,569
‪所以...

140
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,573
‪正極...

141
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,910
‪是細胞太漂亮了嗎?

142
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,872
‪老兄,怎麼回事?

143
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,458
‪沒事,只是在實驗室工作而已

144
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,126
‪不如我們去散步?

145
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,878
‪不,不能分心

146
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,757
‪好吧,我不曉得怎麼回事

147
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,846
‪但就快結束了,等我一下

148
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,400
‪-有何貴幹?
‪-對啊,有何貴幹?

149
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,526
‪我們必須談談

150
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,696
‪-喂,這是我們家
‪-這是我們家

151
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,657
‪-你們不能再找艾利斯麻煩
‪-不可能

152
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,701
‪當初艾利斯創業,是我爸爸借錢給他

153
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,163
‪但輪到我爸想開公司時
‪他卻不肯借他半毛錢

154
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,664
‪那是養老虎的可愛動物園

155
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,291
‪那是一家公司

156
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,586
‪不管怎樣,都很不道德
‪你爸對老虎一無所知

157
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,171
‪妳的口氣跟我們媽媽一樣

158
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,216
‪那個女人,一直對我們父親沒信心

159
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:32,011
‪-那你們幹嘛不去找她麻煩?
‪-她是我們的媽媽,妳有病嗎?

160
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,804
‪對啦,白痴的人是我

161
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:34,972
‪我就說重點了

162
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:39,477
‪我最近發現一些你們很不堪的事

163
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:43,147
‪你們跟其他超級富豪
‪一起開奢靡的性愛趴

164
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,609
‪在那裡交換體液和垃圾政治觀點

165
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,986
‪譏笑,我們在科技業工作
‪這沒什麼大不了

166
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,113
‪你剛說“譏笑”嗎?

167
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,741
‪對,我在譏笑,這就是譏笑的方式

168
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:57,912
‪並不是,你不能照字面唸
‪它是形容驚訝發出的聲音

169
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,039
‪才怪,譏笑!

170
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,501
‪-妳沒事吧?
‪-這才是譏笑

171
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:07,046
‪我知道你們不覺得參加性愛趴丟臉
‪但我敢打包票

172
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:11,133
‪你們可悲又癡呆的朋友
‪看到這個後,不會再邀你們參加

173
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,177
‪你們假扮朝聖者

174
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,891
‪我很享受擺脫英國教會暴政後的自由

175
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,102
‪我正在攪拌奶油

176
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,647
‪妳從哪弄來的?

177
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,316
‪我住的大樓裡有個很可愛的14歲小孩

178
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,777
‪興趣是收集泥土並潑別人髒水

179
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:33,614
‪我們是裝成朝聖者
‪有什麼大不了的?朝聖者受歡迎

180
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,074
‪他們發明了美國

181
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,784
‪事實並非如此

182
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:40,037
‪除了美化種族歧視
‪和濫殺無辜的殖民者

183
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,248
‪你們歷史重現的圈子排擠女性

184
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,375
‪有些女人會深感被冒犯

185
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:48,087
‪說不定不乏一些
‪參加你們奢靡性愛趴的女性

186
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:52,717
‪她說得對,性愛趴的女人
‪非常注重歧視議題

187
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,511
‪女人是我們性愛趴的寶

188
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,639
‪如果她們不爽,我們能跟誰上床?
‪剩下朱利安嗎?

189
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,766
‪別再找艾利斯麻煩

190
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:05,438
‪否則影片就會流出去
‪你們就永遠跟自己的體液作伴吧

191
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,068
‪(我的另一輛車是豎琴)

192
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,033
‪傑克森,拜託,暫停一下

193
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,120
‪這首歌叫《走在陽光下》
‪不是《爬進黑暗》

194
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,249
‪對,我試圖用音樂偽裝
‪但笛聲騙不了人

195
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,752
‪樂器會揭露演奏者的真實本色

196
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,921
‪所以自從我跟教練上床後
‪就不再彈豎琴給我丈夫聽了

197
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,423
‪我只是擔心我爸

198
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,551
‪-他今天在實驗室哭不停
‪-你有試著幫他嗎?

199
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,970
‪他從來不要我幫,喜歡對我下指導棋

200
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:41,724
‪但當我想給他建議時
‪他就露出高高在上的微笑

201
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,642
‪就好像...

202
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,605
‪他看起來很崩潰

203
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,609
‪你有沒有認識誰
‪偶爾也一副崩潰的樣子?

204
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,986
‪天啊,當然有,每天發作

205
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:55,821
‪-就是我吧?
‪-對

206
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,866
‪既然你們有這個共通點
‪也許你能幫他熬過去

207
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,159
‪我做過了

208
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:07,208
‪實驗室一直帶給我無比安全感
‪我在那裡覺得最自在

209
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,043
‪所以這才讓我害怕

210
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,212
‪萬一又發生怎麼辦?

211
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,214
‪如果我回不去實驗室呢?

212
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,759
‪要是我不能回實驗室,我是誰?

213
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,848
‪-我可以嘗一口你的可可嗎?
‪-我問過你,你說不要

214
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,892
‪因為我不知道你有放小棉花糖

215
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895
‪我知道你,說好嘗一口
‪但你會灌下一大口

216
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:31,065
‪不會的,我保證,而且也太燙了

217
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,734
‪嘗一點,就這樣

218
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,112
‪一小口,一點巧克力

219
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,322
‪謝謝

220
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,033
‪那個...

221
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,537
‪夠了啦!

222
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:50,292
‪-你留下一顆棉花糖
‪-沒想到你居然讓我嘗一口

223
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:55,464
‪好吧,專心談你的問題
‪也許你應該離開

224
00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,052
‪我們去旅行吧?你沒帶過我出去玩

225
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,137
‪嘿,爸

226
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,306
‪還有萊斯利,當然有你在,你好

227
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,309
‪你好,年輕人,我們剛才聊到旅行

228
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,186
‪-可以考慮西班牙
‪-伊維薩島嗎?

229
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,356
‪-對,文明的搖籃
‪-發明DJ的地方

230
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,358
‪不,別扯遠了

231
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,862
‪-你感覺怎麼樣?
‪-還有點驚魂未定

232
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,407
‪我不知道我為什麼哭
‪只是整個人不知所措

233
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,452
‪其實我情緒潰堤時會做一件事

234
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,787
‪-真的嗎?什麼事?
‪-我想告訴你

235
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:30,207
‪但你得保證不會微笑
‪擺出高高在上的樣子

236
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,834
‪像你偶爾或每次那樣

237
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,756
‪-傑克森,我才沒有那麼做
‪-你現在就在做了

238
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,133
‪天大的誤會,小夥子

239
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,926
‪這樣吧,還是算了

240
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,596
‪好啦,我不做我沒做的事
‪你想說什麼?

241
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:48,058
‪好吧,我告訴你
‪但這很私密,而且有點尷尬

242
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:51,812
‪如果你想說打手槍
‪在這裡可以放心談

243
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,481
‪不是

244
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,734
‪我覺得情緒潰堤時,會用力捏屁股

245
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,235
‪聽起來很蠢,但有效

246
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,529
‪痛苦讓我感到踏實,並活在當下

247
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,409
‪很感謝你跟我分享
‪我要試試看,謝謝

248
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,911
‪不客氣

249
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,540
‪你們父子真的太棒了
‪這就是我踏入家族治療的原因

250
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:15,127
‪不會有病人對我大吼,叫我醒來

251
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:22,510
‪嘿,一切都還好嗎?
‪我聽說昨天在實驗室情緒有點激動

252
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,721
‪是有點,但有傑克森幫我
‪雙胞胎那邊怎麼樣了?

253
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:29,934
‪雙胞胎裡有個“雙”字
‪昨天我創下了雙贏

254
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,353
‪因為他們是雙胞胎
‪而我是語言大師

255
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,188
‪真令人愉快

256
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,737
‪-我們就知道會在這裡找到妳
‪-什麼?我的辦公室嗎?

257
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,155
‪你們的心思真敏銳

258
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,200
‪我們只是想讓妳措手不及

259
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,576
‪以其人之道還治其人之身

260
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,746
‪也許你們應該先講重點
‪以免忘了來這裡的目的

261
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:54,917
‪我們才不會忘記

262
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,963
‪我知道了

263
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,675
‪妳寫了超尷尬的辦公室同人小說
‪被我們發現了

264
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,388
‪-我不知道你在說什麼
‪-就是妳,因為我們入侵了妳的硬碟

265
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,058
‪我們在科技業工作
‪認識其他有本事的同行

266
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:14,353
‪也許妳的同事會想拜讀妳的大作

267
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,856
‪《感謝上帝創造安娜》

268
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,023
‪糟糕

269
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,900
‪“德雷根公司迎來另一個早晨

270
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,486
‪但安娜看起來特別引人注目”

271
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,870
‪早安,安娜
‪妳今天真漂亮,每天都是

272
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,913
‪-謝謝,女科學家
‪-不客氣

273
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:36,333
‪我再也不會為了
‪妳叫不出我們的名字大驚小怪了

274
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,919
‪都怪我們的名字太難記

275
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,671
‪妳很聰明,頭腦又好

276
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,591
‪安娜,我剛才想到內部資產報表

277
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,886
‪欄位對調的事,妳馬上糾錯改正

278
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,471
‪我真不應該,沒有好好稱讚妳

279
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,348
‪妳很聰明,頭腦又好

280
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,851
‪而且外表迷人,知道我的意思吧

281
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,312
‪我知道,而且永遠不可能發生

282
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,439
‪話別說太滿

283
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,735
‪安娜,我可以唱一首
‪我為妳寫的歌嗎?

284
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,862
‪又來一首?好吧

285
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,865
‪我們都要感謝安娜
‪賜我們薪水與食物

286
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,868
‪沒錯,安娜是我們唯一能崇拜的人

287
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,537
‪如果你替女神效勞,很難謙虛自制

288
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,663
‪拜託,別唸了

289
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,666
‪要是這些內容傳出去
‪公司的人不會再認真看待妳

290
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,252
‪對啊,嘗嘗在不受尊重的公司
‪當主管的滋味吧

291
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,963
‪-我們碰過兩次,感覺很差
‪-你們想怎樣?

292
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:26,216
‪要是妳敢把我們
‪穿朝聖鞋的照片洩漏半張

293
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,428
‪妳辦公室的每個人
‪都會拿到一份妳的小說

294
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:36,143
‪好吧,愚蠢的殖民地農夫
‪你們的秘密很安全

295
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:40,064
‪很好,這樣我們三人陷入僵局
‪我們要繼續搞垮艾利斯

296
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:40,981
‪為我們父親出氣

297
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,399
‪-我們的父親
‪-別煩我

298
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,321
‪天啊

299
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,950
‪經過大量研究
‪我們已經找到萬無一失的方法

300
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,911
‪可以確認人資男對你感不感興趣

301
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,788
‪變數A是這塊棉絨

302
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,040
‪變數B和變數C則是其他碎屑...

303
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,208
‪妳們兩位,行行好

304
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,877
‪我們在你的襯衫上放了棉絨
‪看看人資男會不會挑走

305
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,672
‪替潛在配偶整理儀容
‪是表達興趣的方式

306
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,800
‪所以如果他碰你,就知道他喜歡你了

307
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,259
‪太厲害了

308
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:12,638
‪雖然前幾天
‪我也幫我媽挑走上衣的東西

309
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,684
‪好吧,小傢伙,我們行動

310
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,022
‪-科學讓一切變得更好
‪-核武呢?

311
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,065
‪-對喔
‪-早安

312
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,609
‪真的很早,準備好上班了嗎?

313
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:28,070
‪我對碳削減有新想法

314
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,573
‪謝謝,但我不會潰堤

315
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,660
‪昨晚有個很特別的小傢伙給了我建議

316
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,829
‪很好,她們都不知道你在說誰

317
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,373
‪-我去拿吸管
‪-我來幫妳

318
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,417
‪我很期待試試你的屁股那招

319
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,963
‪不,不是傳統意義的那個屁股

320
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,549
‪而是利用屁股讓你覺得舒服的方式

321
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:52,594
‪好比用屁股幫你達成...該死的,爸

322
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,556
‪好了,所以我在想

323
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,850
‪如果能反轉

324
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:02,104
‪正極,也許就能加速...

325
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,274
‪加油

326
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,737
‪-爸?
‪-沒事,有用,效果很好

327
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,406
‪氧化還原劑...

328
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,703
‪這就是我的想法,我們明天見

329
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,333
‪-爸
‪-抱歉你的捏屁股方法不管用

330
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,920
‪你不必假裝,就算對我有用
‪也不代表在你身上會奏效

331
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,631
‪你努力想幫我
‪我知道這對你來說有多難

332
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,175
‪我不想讓你失望

333
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,844
‪爸,你永遠不用擔心讓我失望

334
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,221
‪我的好兒子

335
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,516
‪-因為你每天都讓我失望
‪-讚喔

336
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:45,272
‪我該怎麼辦?
‪要是我不回實驗室,你媽會殺了我

337
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,483
‪她非常看重碳項目

338
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,985
‪如果她殺了你
‪她就得花更多時間陪你

339
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:53,322
‪我想她應該很享受休息時間
‪所以她頂多會糾纏你

340
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:57,034
‪但我還是不想半夜醒來
‪看到她在我床邊徘徊

341
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,828
‪下巴掉下來,失望地對我尖叫

342
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:03,207
‪你有沒有想過給自己那麼多壓力

343
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,167
‪是因為不想讓老媽失望?

344
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,045
‪-但為什麼只在實驗室裡發生?
‪-碳項目

345
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,297
‪因為你覺得在實驗室最可能讓她失望

346
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:14,176
‪-天啊!我們怎麼沒想到這點?
‪-我剛剛想到了

347
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,594
‪但我立刻就想通了

348
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,806
‪你不明白嗎?
‪在實驗室我最可能讓她失望

349
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:22,309
‪別說得好像是你想出來的
‪你也不會讓媽失望

350
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:25,521
‪她說過:“讓別人失望的唯一方法
‪就是放棄”

351
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,438
‪你說得對

352
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,689
‪不,她說得對

353
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,441
‪不,我才對

354
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,320
‪我不會放棄,希望你今天有收穫

355
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,035
‪你爸還好嗎?

356
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:44,039
‪他會沒事的
‪我突破盲點,但他獨攬功勞

357
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,959
‪-像你現在邀功一樣嗎?
‪-老天,這是遺傳

358
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:50,796
‪你幹嘛...

359
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,470
‪妳身上有棉絨

360
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,230
‪好了,沒事

361
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,192
‪只是一塊棉絨
‪不代表什麼,科學真愚蠢

362
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,736
‪不對,科學很聰明

363
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,198
‪妳怎麼渾身溼答答?

364
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,492
‪-我盡力了
‪-好的

365
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,662
‪我在想妳應該再約傑克森出去

366
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,247
‪他人很好,去約吧

367
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,082
‪-妳確定嗎?
‪-對

368
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,959
‪我覺得他可愛嗎?有點

369
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,837
‪這表示我想甩掉布萊恩
‪和傑克森約會嗎?

370
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,507
‪-怎麼樣?
‪-不想

371
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,426
‪約他出去

372
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,887
‪好吧,如果妳真的同意,我會約他

373
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,221
‪很好,謝謝

374
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:44,808
‪露比?露娜?這裡有人裸體嗎?

375
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:47,811
‪你不用遮眼了,我們已經收好胸部

376
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,899
‪棉絨測試有用
‪人資帥哥幫我挑掉,所以我約他了

377
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,734
‪我們十分鐘內離開

378
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,987
‪如果我去磨蹭艾利斯
‪沾上他的味道,會很怪嗎?

379
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:59,406
‪會,但沒你超級迷戀他那麼怪

380
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,782
‪我沒有迷戀艾利斯

381
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,661
‪而且我今天已經抱過他兩次
‪所以應該不用了

382
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,458
‪嘿,準備好去喝一杯了嗎?

383
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,044
‪天啊,當然好了
‪我剛收到艾利斯的電郵

384
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,505
‪他要我查一下
‪怎麼把他的鷹登記為服務動物

385
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,424
‪有時候那傢伙有點難搞

386
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,553
‪-什麼?
‪-艾利斯,有時他有點難搞

387
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,726
‪沒成功,太多警訊了

388
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,733
‪-找到你了
‪-而且沒流淚

389
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,276
‪好極了,你是怎麼做...

390
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,111
‪快過來,看看這個

391
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,948
‪-看到了嗎?
‪-沒有

392
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,616
‪什麼?那個小點嗎?是啥?

393
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,076
‪我有突破了

394
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,370
‪說來聽聽

395
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:52,751
‪妳眼前這顆水泥粒子
‪完全由溫室氣體組成

396
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,337
‪我們成功了,而且只是開始

397
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,423
‪-天啊,艾利斯,太不可思議了
‪-可不是嗎?

398
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,801
‪看看妳,滿面笑容

399
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,596
‪我不該笑的,我無法逼退雙胞胎

400
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,808
‪他們握有一些我很難堪的把柄

401
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,309
‪有比全世界

402
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:12,729
‪看到你躲在劣質隱形斗篷底下

403
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,398
‪頭上還頂著頌缽和老鷹難堪嗎?

404
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,024
‪我寫辦公室同人小說

405
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:20,195
‪-這也未必代表...
‪-背景是大家都崇拜我

406
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,905
‪有一章我還拆解了炸彈

407
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,157
‪讓我拜讀,我就給妳4萬塊

408
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:27,536
‪不行,我只是先知會你
‪萬一雙胞胎真的公諸於世

409
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,745
‪你才不會措手不及

410
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,664
‪天啊,我恨死那兩個傢伙了

411
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:35,294
‪爛人,找我碴是一回事
‪但妳沒不該面對這些

412
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,547
‪我想是時候報復了

413
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:41,174
‪我們冷凍庫裡還有一些天花病毒

414
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:44,970
‪我有不同想法
‪但我喜歡妳搞不清楚事情輕重

415
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,977
‪所以我們握住一頭
‪把整捲扔到房子上?

416
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,479
‪還有草叢和樹,所有東西

417
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,648
‪所有東西,天啊,真刺激

418
00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:01,236
‪爽啦,我們來找你們了!

419
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:04,031
‪要是下雨,就不可能清得乾淨

420
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,907
‪天啊,真希望下雨

421
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,452
‪下雨吧!

422
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:10,996
‪好,別再吼了,我們快到了

423
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,206
‪關車燈

424
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:15,167
‪我們像貓一樣在夜裡悄悄移動

425
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,676
‪你好像撞到雙胞胎之一了

426
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:46,341
‪字幕翻譯:莊雅婷