- Ow!
What the fuck?
Ow!
Aah! Bitch!
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God.
Ow! Uh-- Uh-- Ah.
Why're you being weird?
I'm not. I'm not being weird.
I'm just not being...
Ow!
Um...
I got a call last night inviting me back
to the land of the employed, so.
Oh, is that why you brushed your hair?
What? I always brush my hair.
Yes. (moans) It's so good.
- Wait, who is that?
Wait, what is happening right now?
- What is that? Oh!
- God, Dad is watching porn... - What is that?
...and he doesn't know it's on Bluetooth.
- What?
Oh, my God. How are you my parents?
Danny!
- Shit!
- What are you doing? I'm--
- What are you doing? - About to get in the shower.
Uh, no, you're not!
I just heard what you were doing.
We-- We-- Your daughter heard what you were doing!
- What? How? - The Bluetooth! The speakers!
- Oh-- - No!
This is a Home Depot.
You're watching people fuck
- in a Home Depot? - Okay.
- Just-- Get out, please? Could--
Do you know that we could've been doing this?
We could've been,
just you and me, this whole time, in person.
I was just, like, 20 feet away.
I'm just saying.
Hey, girl.
Want a ride?
From you? No.
Can you get in the car?
Please?
What?
I like your jacket.
Rae, what are you--
Rae!
Hey, what's up, Kev? Come on in, man.
Good to see you.
- Hey. Kevin, right? - Yeah.
Uh, have a good one.
Oh, and we have therapy later.
Oh, hey. Yeah, um, about that, can we not...
Can we not mention, you know, what happened?
Oh! I'm gonna lead with that,
'cause every week it's about something terrible
that I have done, so...
Okay, just-- I didn't do anything
- terrible or wrong or-- - Okay.
I don't like this whole
telling-the-teacher vibe that you got going on.
- I'm not-- There's-- I don't have any--
- Excuse me. - What is that?
- Is something buzzing?
No. That's not-- No, it's just the bag. There's garbage.
- What? Hold on. - You're gonna go through trash right now?
- Ooh!
Died in the battlefield.
Thank you. Thanks.
Oh-- I'm sorry.
Are you watching porn?
What? No. No.
No, uh-huh.
- Oh, uh-- Wow.
So, uh, gotta take care of these.
Uh... a-- a turtle just flew out of your...
- something. - Oh, that's weird.
Oh, right.
Uh, that was-- I bruised my--
Um, so, were you watching porn?
Uh...
What can I help you with?
These applicants need
their health insurance info filled out.
They need a callback.
Added bonus: some of them don't
have a callback number.
That's great. Okay.
Glad to be back?
No.
But, I mean, I am to a paycheck,
to not lying in bed at night worrying about mortgage payments
and losing my health insurance, so...
That's what you Boomers think about in bed?
- Sad.
I'm fucking Gen X.
No one wants to hear who you're fucking.
Fish dumped me.
And the senior guys put me
fourth on the most-fuckable girls' list.
Fucking fourth!
Sorry for your loss.
Damn. You don't have to be so harsh about it.
Your mom already went apeshit on me.
God. Um...
Yeah, she's, um, just going--
A total psycho?
Yeah.
Look, by your feet.
What is this?
THC in a can. My mom swears by it.
Dear Sugar,
I wrote to you a while ago.
And, uh, there's this situation that happened recently.
Um, I have this boyfriend.
We've been seeing each other for a while, like a year.
And, uh, I don't know, he--
he usually tells me everything,
but one day, I got off of work early
and, uh, I opened my bedroom door,
and I saw him wearing my underwear.
And now I-- I don't know what to say.
Do I say something?
Or ignore it?
I really love him.
But I don't think I like him right now.
Actually, I really fucking hate him.
I fucking hate you.
Hey.
You ready?
How are you both?
Great. Good. Fine.
Good. Great.
So better than last week?
- Definitely. - Uh... I mean, it's been--
Danny blasted porn on the Bluetooth speakers
- this morning-- - Clare's vibrator
literally melted from overuse.
Have you ever had a patient
that's into just, like, watching
average people
- fuck each other's brains out... - Wow.
- ...in a hardware store? - Uh...
- I mean, I know it sounds niche but-- - Let's-- Okay--
What-- When you--
When you think about it, it's just like...
- power tools and it's... - Clare.
- ...hard hats. - Okay, I--
Screws. Makitas.
Okay, would you stop? Jesus!
Danny. - What the fuck?
- I'm just-- Danny.
In here?
There is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Stay in the room, please.
Okay.
So...
it seems like you're both having individual experiences.
Guess so.
Mm. I know it's hard,
but maybe we should just dive right into the discussion
of, like, why is it...
that you two aren't having sex with each other?
I mean, we have a lot of life stressors
going on at the moment,
so that kinda...
saps the juice.
Like what?
Um, I-- I'm back at my job.
You know, the thing that, um...
gives us health insurance and a 401(k).
And no word from your brother
on when he's gonna pay us back. Shocker.
You want to go down that road again?
Have that fight again and again and again? Is that interesting?
Know what? I'm sorry. - Does that make this interesting in here?
- that my-- my-- - Helps?
my endless stream of weddings
and-- and teaching kids how to play the fucking trombone
doesn't come with a 401(k).
I'm sorry, but it is money.
And it is money that I made that you just gave away.
Clare, do you resent having to go to the job
that gives you the health insurance, the 401(k)?
Or maybe you resent
Danny for making less money than you do.
No. We, um, we made those decisions together,
you know, a long time ago.
It's not like I forced her to take--
But I still did it.
I still did it.
I did it so you could keep doing what you loved.
Okay, so-- so-- so what? So--
So because you make more money than me,
you just get to do whatever you want
or give it to your brother?
My mom...
built that house as a fucking sanctuary
against our dad.
That's where she's--
He knows what it means to me.
You know.
You know what? I'm gonna give you an assignment.
You two need to have sex.
With...
Each other.
Just-- Just go find a place.
Just... somewhere that's not your home.
Depot.
My dad's porn blasted all over Bluetooth this morning.
Gross.
Mm.
I literally walked in on my dad jerking off once.
He looked like a sad gorilla wearing headphones.
- Yeah.
Guys are so gross.
Tell me something...
no one knows about you.
- Pass. - Come on!
Why? You wanna humiliate me on Instagram again?
No, thanks.
Tell me something no one knows about you.
I'm a virgin.
What? Wha-- What about Fish?
We talked about doing it,
and... we did other stuff.
And then he dumped me.
I'm sorry, but I just--
You do not act like a virgin.
Hm. You mean I don't act like you?
Oh. Oh, no.
I'm not a virgin.
Shut up!
Who have you slept with?
Stef Johnson.
The goalie with the blue hair?
Mm-hm.
And, uh, Sofia Serrano.
Kind of.
How did I not know about this?
Because you didn't ask.
Well, what was it like?
Like, how did you know what to do?
I mean...
I have a body, and I know what feels good, so...
Like that.
Is that from one of your lovers?
No.
It's just from my mom.
She and my dad are going out, I guess.
So your place is free then?
We could, like...
hang... or whatever.
Then those are gonna need to come off.
So... the cheapest room is 200 bucks.
- What? - Yeah.
Great. We can't even afford to fuck each other.
Okay.
Well, I mean, at least, you know, we're at a hotel,
so... technically, we did half the assignment.
Yeah.
Right.
Why don't you wanna have sex with me?
I don't know. I mean, you haven't--
Haven't exactly seemed like you want to have sex with me lately.
I feel like you hate me because of the money.
- The money thing. - I-- I--
Because I just-- I think you think I'm, like...
a crazy mom.
I-- I don't hate you.
I don't--
I just feel far away.
I don't know. I just--
I just feel far away lately.
What have you been working on? I hear you typing.
Are you working on your book again or...
No.
No, that's just-- I--
No, I'd-- I'd--
- I don't even know if I-- - I got you.
So what was it this morning?
Was it fucking... J.Lo on the jumbotron
or was it-- was it hosting game day?
- It was game day. - Mmm.
Do you feel like we're getting ripped off by Mel?
'Cause that was like... half a session
before she told us to go fuck each other.
I don't know.
So...
do you wanna go to Home Depot?
We do need light bulbs.
♪ Baby, I don't know why I love you ♪
♪ I don't know why I feel this way ♪
♪ Why I love you ♪
Who knew it'd be so crowded on a Tuesday?
Or we could, um...
We could go get fishbowl margaritas at Don Guac's.
And nachos!
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm hungry anyway.
I can't do it on an empty stomach.
Why didn't you tell me about all your torrid affairs?
I don't know. People are weird.
Stef, she didn't want me to tell anyone.
Does that mean you're not gonna tell anyone about us?
Depends on how torrid it gets.
I think--
I think we should keep this a secret.
It's sexy.
- Oh, come on. I really want to know. - No.
- I really, really want to understand. - No.
Is it about being in public?
- Is it about being seen? - Uh...
- I wanna know. - I don't know.
Maybe it's-- I like...
broken things...
and-- and like...
fixing them.
Guess I'm a broken thing.
I should've never said that.
No, it's okay. It's okay.
So tell me more about game day.
So in my fantasy...
I walk into our kitchen,
and I'm, like, wearing boots.
And I have, like, red lipstick on.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
There's a bunch of guys.
You know, they all, like, want-- want me.
They-- They're, like, watching me.
And then, like, my dad-- my dad is there.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
It's pretty sick.
- No. It's-- It's-- It's not sick. - It's like--
It's like he's the one that, uh, terr--
Like, terrorized us my whole life.
It's like infiltrating my...
You know?
It's, like, really fucked up.
So anyway, to broken things.
I don't--
Like, sex fantasies are not just...
all about sex, you know?
- It's-- - Hm.
And he's-- he's still your dad.
And, uh, you want him to want you because he didn't.
Makes sense.
It's such a miracle that I met you.
- Yeah, miracle for me.
Yeah. Thank God I saw you play that night.
- That was a good show. - Ugh.
Yeah.
Do you miss it?
The band?
Sometimes, yeah.
I didn't do it.
You were behind me 100%.
You took a steady job so I could do it.
The touring, the albums, the-- the music.
I didn't do it, you know? I'm, uh...
teaching people fucking trombone out of the back of my house.
- Danny, you still can. - No.
- Yes. - I can't.
I can't.
Danny.
You're still you.
I'm still me.
We're still-- We're still those people.
Let's be those people.
Where-- Where are you going?
- Let's go. - What?
Uh, what're you doing?
- Okay. - Let's go.
I'll just be a second.
Okay.
Um, can I help you?
This is Clare Pierce's house, right?
Yeah.
Um, my mom's busy right now.
Can I help you?
Your mom?
So you're Frankie Rae?
Who are you?
I'm...
You, uh...
You give this to her. Tell her it's from Lucas, all right?
How do you know Lucas?
Just tell your mom that family takes care of family.
Good night.
Oh, my God!
You won't believe how lame Fish is.
You should go.
What?
What's wrong?
Just go.
No one should have to take shit from trash people.
And my mom is not a psycho.
Dear Sharing Panties.
You walked in on your boyfriend
at what he perceives as his most unlovable moment:
the pervert in the girly underwear.
You saw his secret self before he told you his secret,
and that humiliates him beyond words.
And that is because no matter how experimental he is,
his life isn't an experiment.
None of ours are.
His life is like your life and my life
and all the lives of all the people
who are reading these words right now.
Okay, but I don't think that we should actually drive, though.
That's a good idea.
- No, we shouldn't--
It's a roiling stew of fear and need and shame and hunger--
Hunger to be loved,
especially for the parts of us
we are scared to let others see.
But once you see someone,
really see them, there is no going back.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Oh.
Hey.
Your relationship will either deepen
to a more real and honest place...
Uh, do you guys know each other?
No. I don't--
I gave you a ride a couple of months ago.
Right?
No, I don't think, um-- No, I don't think we've ever--
...or your relationship will be dead,
even if you continue to fake it for a while.
How 'bout some tunes?
Everyone cool with Steely Dan?
But don't fake it,
you both deserve better.
Yours, Sugar.
♪ Times are hard ♪
♪ You're afraid to pay the fee ♪
♪ So you find yourself somebody ♪
♪ Who can do the job for free ♪
♪ When you need a bit of lovin' ♪
♪ 'Cause your man is out of town ♪
♪ That's the time to get me runnin' ♪
♪ And you know I'll be around ♪
♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪
♪ No more ♪
♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
Best day ever.
Captioned by Point.360