1 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:02,460 RAE: No, you can't make me go! 2 00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,004 - CLARE: Get dressed. - RAE: No! 3 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,005 - CLARE: Now! - RAE: No! 4 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,214 CLARE: Just put it on! 5 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,925 Oh, my God! You're acting like such a fucking-- 6 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,679 Frankie, uh-- 7 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,348 Rae! God-- God-- God damn it! 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,934 {\an8}DANNY: It's a little early for all the screaming, isn't it? 9 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,478 {\an8}RAE: We need a tranquilizer gun. The kind for large animals. 10 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,859 Rae, I swear to God, I'm-- 11 00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,738 {\an8}Could you tell our daughter that she's going to school? 12 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,990 {\an8}- You're going to school. - I'm not going to school 13 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,283 {\an8}because she ruined school! 14 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,909 {\an8}I hate it there. Everyone's horrible. 15 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,161 {\an8}And it's all your fault. 16 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,496 {\an8}Why is everything in this family my fault? 17 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,373 {\an8}Because you fuck everything up! 18 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,875 Do not speak to me like that! 19 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,168 Don't talk to me like that! 20 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,711 DANNY: Okay, okay, enough. Enough, all right? 21 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,588 Rae, you're going to school. Go get dressed. 22 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,715 - Thank you! - Fine. Fine! Okay. 23 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,383 Then I'm gonna transfer to Douglass. 24 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,885 No, you're not. Douglass sucks. 25 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,303 Okay. I went to Douglass, all right? 26 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,929 Yeah, you're the one who told me that it sucks. 27 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,557 Wow. Well, White feminism strikes again! 28 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,184 Sorry, what exactly is so wrong 29 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,687 about a predominantly Black public high school, Mom? 30 00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,064 We chose St. Anne's 31 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,733 because we wanted you to go to a good college. 32 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,359 I don't care about college! 33 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:09,652 I'm not even going to college! 34 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,612 - DANNY: Whoa, Rae! - Wait, whoa! 35 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,780 What are you saying right now? 36 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,031 Nobody's listening to me! 37 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,324 Yes, I am listening to you. 38 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,034 That's why I just said, "What are you saying?" 39 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:19,037 If you don't let me transfer, then I'm going to drop out! 40 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,830 (yelling) That's enough! You're not dropping out. 41 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,083 You're late. Go get dressed. 42 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,167 This is done. 43 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,962 - Hey. - Don't touch me! 44 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:29,214 Hey! 45 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,256 Listen to me. 46 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,051 You are finishing high school, 47 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,804 and then you are going to go to college 48 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:39,516 because that is what you are going to do. 49 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,518 Okay? 50 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,895 Mm-hmm? Well, Dad, he didn't finish college. 51 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,146 And he regrets it. 52 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,481 What? Neither did you. 53 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,150 (sighs) 54 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,319 RAE: What? 55 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,947 - You dropped out of college. - No. 56 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,663 Just get your fucking backpack and get dressed for school now. 57 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,500 Go! 58 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,960 RAE: (scoffs) Oh, my God. 59 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:09,879 DANNY (softly): I'm sorry. 60 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:11,464 Hey. 61 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,924 Thank you! Jesus! 62 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,302 (Clare sighs) 63 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,929 Okay. 64 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,514 What is this? 65 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,726 DANNY: I know you don't think you'll walk away. 66 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,603 Bring your ass back here, Rae! 67 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,315 (Rae sighs) 68 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,949 ("Where Is My Mind" by Pixies playing) 69 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:44,956 What the hell is this? 70 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,918 A nose mug. I made it in Ceramics. 71 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,838 Why would you make this? 72 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,257 Because-- I was gonna give it to you for Mother's Day. 73 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,094 ♪ Try this trick and spin it, yeah ♪ 74 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,930 ♪ Your head will collapse ♪ 75 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,640 ♪ But there's nothing in it ♪ 76 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,475 - (Clare exhales lightly) - ♪ And you'll ask yourself ♪ 77 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,936 ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 78 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,522 - GIRL 1: She's just so sad. - ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 79 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,733 Girl 2: What do you say? "Sorry your mom died"? 80 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:12,734 ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 81 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:13,651 GIRL 1: Yeah. 82 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,695 ERIC: 'Sup. 83 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,406 What? 84 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,074 You look really familiar. 85 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,994 (continues playing on headphones) ♪ Way out in the water ♪ 86 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,913 ♪ See it swimming ♪ 87 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,877 Did we bang at a Dead show or something? 88 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,921 - ♪ I was swimm-- ♪ - (turns off Walkman) 89 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,756 I'd rather die than go to a Dead show. 90 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:36,841 PROFESSOR: All right, everyone. 91 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,676 Welcome to Advanced World Fiction. 92 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,304 I know that the final quarter can be a little bit of a drag, 93 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,680 but over the next nine weeks, 94 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,974 we're gonna be having some good old literary fun. 95 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,352 We're gonna be reading The Nose by Gogol, 96 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,187 The Autumn of the Patriarch by Márquez, 97 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:52,065 and a number of stories by Guy de Maupassant. 98 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,026 So, you do anything cool over spring break? 99 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,406 Climbed Machu Picchu. 100 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,744 - (door slams shut) - FRANKIE: Oh, boy. 101 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,248 What happened? 102 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,707 I'm not going back. 103 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,209 I'm done with school. 104 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:16,047 People are mean and horrible and... mean! 105 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,299 People can be. It's true. 106 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,093 But you love school. 107 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,469 And how will you be the next 108 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,804 Eudora Welty without it? 109 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,265 Well, maybe I'll just be a waitress like you. 110 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,142 I don't think you have the patience 111 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,519 to handle the lunch rush. 112 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,231 Hey. 113 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,402 You can't let the worst things that happen to you 114 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,613 stop you from getting what you want. 115 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,865 And if you do, 116 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,369 that is nobody's fault but yours. 117 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,751 - CLARE: Sorry. - ("Paper Roses" by Anita Bryant vocalized) 118 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,836 S-- Sorry. 119 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,672 - ERIC: Hey-- Hey! - What? 120 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:58,881 - ERIC: Hey. - What? 121 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,425 ERIC: You, uh, you forgot this. 122 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,551 Okay. Thank you. 123 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,553 Do you wanna go get a drink or something? 124 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,763 We went to junior high together, Eric. 125 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,182 And you terrorized me. So, yeah, no. 126 00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:14,272 JESS: You-- You can't get high in here. I mean, this is our home. 127 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,065 (exhales) 128 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,696 - It's, uh-- - What's wrong? 129 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,407 (softly) Your brother. 130 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,285 He says he's not going back to school. 131 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,661 And... 132 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,622 he-- he says he's not going back home. 133 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,250 (indistinct chatter on TV) 134 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,169 CLARE: Okay, you can't do that in here. 135 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,424 What do you mean you're not going back to school? 136 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,092 Your narc husband say that? 137 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:44,302 Oh, Jesus! 138 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,223 (door slams shut) 139 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,310 (sighs) 140 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,193 You don't need to go back to school tomorrow, 141 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,863 but you do need to go back. 142 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:08,159 Um, we just buried Mom three days ago, so... 143 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,205 excuse me for not giving a shit about high school right now. 144 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,332 I haven't been in a month anyway. 145 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,172 Mom would want you to graduate. 146 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,384 She'd want both of us to. 147 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,220 Well, Mom's not fucking here. 148 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,808 CLARE: Mom! 149 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,185 Mom! Mom! 150 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,937 What is it? What's wrong? What's wrong? 151 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,483 - No. - Yes. 152 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,153 Yeah. Yes. Yes. 153 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,989 (both exclaiming, laughing) 154 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,825 Lucas, your sister got in! 155 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,701 CLARE: Mom, you don't have to do this. 156 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,079 We're not little kids anymore. 157 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:57,542 You are the first person in this family to go to college. 158 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:02,922 Of course, that calls for a fancy-lady dinner. 159 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,550 Your drinks, Mademoiselle, Monsieur. 160 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,301 Mom, how are we gonna pay for all this 161 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,220 when we can't even afford real Kool-Aid? 162 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,139 That's what loans are for, dumbass. 163 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,558 And grants and scholarships. 164 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,810 And you got some of those too. 165 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,439 I wanna hear the letter again. 166 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,691 (Frankie laughs) 167 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,110 LUCAS: "Dear Clare, congratulations. 168 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,112 I'm honored to share this news with you." 169 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,030 Blah, blah, blah, I guess we'll accept you. 170 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,740 Oh, did you see this thing at the bottom? 171 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,035 "Parents of students may enroll in classes 172 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,704 for no additional charge." 173 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,663 Wait, what? 174 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:36,998 For free? 175 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,129 I've always wanted to go to college. 176 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,799 Okay, but you're not gonna go with me. 177 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,015 No. No. 178 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,809 - No. - No. 179 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:58,728 No. 180 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,439 (students chattering) 181 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,109 CLARE: Okay. 182 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:06,777 Do you remember the rules? 183 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,404 - We don't know each other. - Yes. 184 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:10,781 - And if you see me-- - I ignore you. 185 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,201 Except if I talk to you fir-- Like, if I talk to you first, 186 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,619 - then you can talk to me. - Mm. 187 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,996 But if not, your gaze shall-- 188 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,539 Just stop looking at me. Stop staring at me. 189 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:19,790 Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. 190 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,584 Your gaze shall not linger on me. 191 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,668 Yes, Your Highness. 192 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,797 You're a stranger to me. 193 00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,841 - Okay. - Strangers. It's a deal. 194 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,176 - Seriously. - Yeah. 195 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,847 Right now-- You can be my mom right now. 196 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,561 - CLARE: I love you, Mom. - FRANKIE: I love you. 197 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,195 (keyboard clacking) 198 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,991 ♪ 199 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:57,995 Excuse me? 200 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,997 ("Paper Roses" by Anita Bryant vocalized) 201 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,503 Mom? 202 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,969 - Oh! (chuckles) - Jesus! Fuck! 203 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,762 ERIC: (chuckling) Pierce. 204 00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,597 Have you se-- Have you seen a woman? 205 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,599 Like-- Like, mom-aged? 206 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:22,103 ERIC: Woman like mom-aged? Uh... no. No. 207 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,106 Hey, so "terrorized." 208 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,149 Yeah, that's-- that's a-- 209 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,609 It's a bit overdramatic, don't you think? 210 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,944 What? 211 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,446 You said I terrorized you in junior high. 212 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,784 Yeah. Yeah, Eric, you did. You made my life a living hell. 213 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,996 (softly) Yeah, it was-- 214 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,122 Not that I... 215 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,043 knew what hell was. Um... 216 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,671 I have a paper to write. 217 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,964 Hey. (stammers) Fuck your paper! 218 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,257 Fuck you! 219 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,093 Is that what you want? 220 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512 ("Connection" by Elastica playing) 221 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,347 ♪ Riding on any wave ♪ 222 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,391 ♪ That is the luck you crave ♪ 223 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,310 ♪ They don't believe it now ♪ 224 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,353 - ♪ They just think it's stupid ♪ - Harder. 225 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,815 ♪ 226 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,319 (knock on door) 227 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,868 I might need the bottle. 228 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,995 JESS: Sure. You'll have to pry it 229 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,122 from your brother's underage hands first. 230 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,167 Have you read this story called The Nose? 231 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,044 - JESS: No. - Mm. 232 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,670 It-- It's about this 233 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,381 guy whose nose walks away from his face. 234 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,008 It's like-- I just-- How am I supposed to write 235 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,052 five pages on this crap? 236 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,889 Come on, didn't you just finish a 20-page paper last week 237 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:44,435 about the s-- sublime... subversiveness of something? 238 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,563 - It's just-- It's different, so. - JESS: No. 239 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,273 One more month, 240 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,568 then you are free. Hm? 241 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,862 A college graduate. Hm. 242 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,614 Yeah. 243 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,533 Magna cum laude. 244 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,673 (softly) How's that? 245 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,259 Does that feel good? 246 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,344 (whispering) Stop. 247 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,472 - (louder) Stop. Stop! - I'm s-- sorry. Sorry. 248 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,224 I just-- 249 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,476 - Sorry. - No. Just-- 250 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:33,734 (door closes) 251 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,239 - (somber music playing) - (Clare exhales sharply) 252 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:45,996 (sniffles) 253 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,541 (phone chimes) 254 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,384 (raccoon chittering on video) 255 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,808 (somber music continues) 256 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,752 PROFESSOR: Okay. So... what are we to make 257 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:19,173 of what Gogol is trying to say with this story? 258 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:22,885 And literary critics have been divided a century over this. 259 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,930 (softly) Probably 'cause it's bullshit. 260 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,014 What was that? 261 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,809 (snickers) Oh, man. (clears throat) 262 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,019 Nothing. Nothing. 263 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,229 No. 264 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,688 No, you said it was bullshit. 265 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,024 Why? 266 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,652 Some guy's nose walks off his face one day 267 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,488 and goes out, has a rager, 268 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,281 and we're expected to-- 269 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,325 to believe that this thing 270 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,868 that is impossible, 271 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,371 that it's actually supposed to mean something? Um... 272 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,581 Well, some would say that it's an allegory 273 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,542 - for male sexual impotence or - (Clare chuckles lightly) 274 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,876 divine immaculate conception. 275 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,879 But perhaps, it's just inviting us 276 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,381 to consider what it would be like 277 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,508 if the impossible became possible. 278 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,844 I'm just sad that we haven't moved beyond literature 279 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,513 by misogynistic male authors 280 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,056 that can't write about anything 281 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,141 except allegories for their broken dicks. 282 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,394 Like, this-- this entire semester, 283 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,981 we've only read one-- one female author! 284 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,649 Well, you didn't have any problem 285 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,735 writing a really fairly wonderful piece about Márquez. 286 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,487 Márquez is different than Gogol! 287 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:26,699 Then, I look forward to having you articulate the differences 288 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,034 between Márquez and Gogol on your paper, 289 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,036 which is required for you to graduate, so. 290 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,124 That's class. Uh, thank you, everyone. 291 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,256 Clare, if you want a little extra time-- 292 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,966 We all understand that this is a difficult time. 293 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,050 I don't. 294 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,677 (students chattering) 295 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,348 (indistinct chatter on TV) 296 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,729 So this is how you spend your life? 297 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,771 LUCAS: Shhh. 298 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,066 Oh, you just made me miss what Monica said. 299 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,740 Um, she was in a coma last week, 300 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,409 but they think that she's gonna beat her breast cancer. 301 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,828 MONICA (on TV): Sure, in just a few short weeks... 302 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,789 Good for her. 303 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,709 ...and vomiting and waking up 304 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,170 having your hair on the pillow next to you... 305 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:25,341 That's a stupid fucking cancer-hero narrative. 306 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,717 Like... (scoffs) 307 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,763 Mom died 'cause she didn't wanna live badly enough? 308 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:33,766 (Clare scoffs) 309 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,977 I like the show. 310 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,188 MONICA (over TV): Just lop off more of my body... 311 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:44,151 ...just keep going on this whole process... 312 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,487 Do you ever think about why, out of all the people in the world, 313 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,864 Mom had to die while everyone else just gets to live? 314 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,700 Yeah. 315 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:55,871 It makes me hate everyone. 316 00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,625 And everything. 317 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,755 You wanna get wasted? 318 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,590 ("Supernova" by Liz Phair playing) 319 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,676 (bar crowd chattering) 320 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,179 Fuck! 321 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,472 - Can we get another one? - Oh. 322 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,642 - You all right? (chuckles) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 323 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:20,521 ♪ I have looked all over the place ♪ 324 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,815 ♪ But you have got... ♪ 325 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,858 He's my brother. Who do you think is older? 326 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,486 I think she looks older, but I look more mature. 327 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,612 What does that even mean? 328 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:34,827 ♪ Your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass ♪ 329 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,247 ♪ And your lips are sweet and slippery ♪ 330 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:42,292 ♪ Like a cherub's bare wet ass ♪ 331 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:46,588 ♪ 'Cause you're a human supernova... ♪ 332 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,633 - Clare? Come on. - What the fuck? 333 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,969 - Oh, my God. Sorry. What? - What the fuck? 334 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:55,764 Come on. 335 00:16:58,976 --> 00:16:59,893 Ow! Fuck! 336 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,061 What the fuck? 337 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,855 Clare, you're-- 338 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,732 You're married, and then, 339 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,692 now you're just a lesbian or something? 340 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,068 I'm not anything, Lucas. 341 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,070 I'm whatever the fuck I want to be. 342 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,280 Oh, does Jess know that? 343 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,990 Okay, I'm a terrible person! 344 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,616 Okay? 345 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,703 I cheated on Jess. 346 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,538 She was a chick. 347 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,250 Jess doesn't even have to know about it. 348 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,334 No. 349 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,004 I'm not talking about her. 350 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,213 What? 351 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,049 Do you remember Joel? 352 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,551 - (urinating) - From the funeral home? 353 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,720 Yeah, he and I... 354 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:37,389 Before Mom's funeral. 355 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,017 - He and you what? - We boned. 356 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,561 And then a few weeks ago, I did the same thing with... 357 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,607 this guy who used to bully me in junior high. 358 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:49,860 He's a Deadhead now. 359 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,111 What the fuck? 360 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,573 Uh, Erics-- Eric Olsen. Do you remember him? 361 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,034 We did it in the back of his Bronco. 362 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,705 Jesus Christ! Who are you? 363 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,208 You're like Carly on General Hospital. 364 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,501 She fucks everybody. 365 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,716 I can't be good without her. 366 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:13,967 (light somber music playing) 367 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,265 (students chattering) 368 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:27,856 ♪ 369 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,948 (Clare and friends chattering) 370 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,912 Um... Um, I'll catch up with you guys later. 371 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,122 - Okay. - Bye. 372 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,206 - Bye. - Bye. 373 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,591 - Good morning! - (gasps) Oh, dear God! 374 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,178 - I brought you some coffee. - Yeah. 375 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,013 It doesn't make up for it. 376 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,014 You feel good? 377 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,516 - You're gonna kill finals. - Okay. 378 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,811 - Did you sleep here? - Early test. Too far to drive. 379 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,271 Okay. Go, go, go. I gotta study. 380 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,689 - Okay. Good luck. - Okay. 381 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,023 - I love you. - I love you too. 382 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,358 - Bye. - Bye. 383 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,986 - Don't do that again. - CLARE: Bye. (chuckles) 384 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,072 (somber music continues) 385 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,877 (music playing on Walkman) 386 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,887 ♪ 387 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,613 JESS: Clare? 388 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:01,575 CLARE: Oh, hi. I'm sorry. Just-- Shhh. 389 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,577 JESS: Well, where were you? 390 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,123 - CLARE: At the library. - JESS: Right. 391 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,166 CLARE: Ow! 392 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:10,876 Fuck! 393 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,254 I was trying to... finish that paper. 394 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:16,632 - Yeah? - You know, the one 395 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,758 that I have to g-- graduate, 396 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,719 and I just can't fucking start it. 397 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,137 (sighs) Are you drunk? 398 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,514 What? 399 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,892 Were you trying to write it drunk? 400 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,478 All writers drink. 401 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,562 It's called... 402 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,564 lubrication. 403 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,776 I'm just following in a grand literary tradition. 404 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:36,818 Lucas was wasted too. 405 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,195 He came home a couple of hours ago 406 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:41,114 and he puked all over the bathroom. 407 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,408 Yuck. Sorry. 408 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,580 (exhales deeply) 409 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,337 No. He's in high school, Clare. 410 00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,423 He's a kid. 411 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:03,929 Someone has to look after him. 412 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,555 Yeah, well, he needs his mom. 413 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,609 We need our mom. 414 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,700 (students chattering) 415 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:31,456 ♪ Paper roses, paper roses ♪ 416 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:37,504 ♪ Oh, how real those roses seem... ♪ 417 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:38,922 Mom? 418 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,634 ♪ But they're only... ♪ 419 00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:44,886 Mom? 420 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,807 Mom! (panting) 421 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,729 Hi, honey. 422 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:57,691 You know what to do. 423 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,484 Mom, no. 424 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:01,153 It'll be so quick. 425 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,237 (gasps) 426 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:07,617 (panting) 427 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,091 CLARE: What does it mean to heal? 428 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:27,763 To move on? 429 00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:32,100 To let go? 430 00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:36,646 (keyboard clacking) 431 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,357 What does it mean when the worst 432 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:40,108 thing that could happen 433 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:41,443 actually happens? 434 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,155 And it stops you cold in your tracks? 435 00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:47,366 (crowd chattering) 436 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,742 My mother died on a Monday 437 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:50,994 during spring break of our senior year. 438 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:54,414 Mine and hers. 439 00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:55,999 (Clare sighs deeply) 440 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:57,084 After her funeral, 441 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,044 I immediately went back to school 442 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,796 because she begged me to. 443 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:04,966 To prove her life mattered, 444 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:06,301 I became determined 445 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,678 to blow up the life I'd begun to build, 446 00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:13,141 the life my mother had wanted for me. 447 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:14,851 (keyboard clacking) 448 00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:16,144 I failed to get my diploma 449 00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:17,437 because I didn't complete a 450 00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:19,356 five-page paper on a short story 451 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:22,401 about a man who woke up one day and couldn't find his nose. 452 00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:25,195 I couldn't bring myself to do it 453 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,447 because I thought the story was preposterous 454 00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,032 and incomprehensible. 455 00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,076 ERIC: I saw what they're doing for your mom. 456 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,495 I'm so sorry. 457 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,997 I had no idea. 458 00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:39,709 Thanks. 459 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,211 Yeah. 460 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,298 CLARE: There was no subtext. 461 00:23:46,299 --> 00:23:48,677 It was simply a story about what it was about... 462 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,932 - Uh, thanks. Yeah. - Yeah. 463 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,225 Okay. 464 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,981 CLARE: ...the absurd and arbitrary nature 465 00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:02,315 of disappearance... 466 00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:04,985 (applause and cheers) 467 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:14,661 (over microphone) Finally, in memory of a gifted student 468 00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:17,122 who left this world far too soon. 469 00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:20,083 CLARE: ...our hungry ache to resurrect what was lost, 470 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:23,837 and the bald truth that the impossible can become possible 471 00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:25,255 faster than anyone dreams. 472 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:27,591 (over microphone) We posthumously honor 473 00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:30,969 Francis "Frankie" Pierce 474 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:33,638 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in History. 475 00:24:40,228 --> 00:24:41,938 CLARE: My mother was alive and healthy. 476 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,275 And yet, seven weeks later, she was dead. 477 00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:47,527 Impossible. 478 00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,284 I had gone to college, 479 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:57,537 and my mother had gone to college with me. 480 00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,539 Impossible. 481 00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:06,588 (somber music continues) 482 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:09,841 I'd earned straight A's, 483 00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,760 and yet, I didn't graduate. 484 00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:14,346 But my dead mother did. 485 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,890 Impossible too. 486 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,353 Sometimes a story is not about anything except 487 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,563 precisely what it is about. 488 00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:28,485 Sometimes you wake up and find 489 00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,320 that you actually have lost your nose. 490 00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:32,531 And you have to figure out 491 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,949 how you're gonna live without it. 492 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:35,367 (gasping sobs) 493 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:56,763 SPEAKER (over microphone): Congratulations, Class of 1995! 494 00:25:56,763 --> 00:25:58,848 (students cheering) 495 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:17,909 {\an8}CLARE: As my mother once said, 496 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:23,206 "You can't let the worst thing that happened to you stop you. 497 00:26:26,626 --> 00:26:27,627 "If you do, 498 00:26:29,796 --> 00:26:31,423 it's nobody's fault but your own." 499 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,220 (Rae sobbing lightly) 500 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,605 Okay, Rae. Rae? 501 00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:49,399 I am calling you Rae, okay? 502 00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:56,156 If you don't wanna do this, 503 00:26:57,907 --> 00:26:59,034 what do you want to do? 504 00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,620 I just-- Can we just go home? 505 00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:07,584 Please? 506 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:10,795 (Rae sniffling) 507 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,423 Okay. 508 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:19,679 Really? 509 00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:23,433 I want so much for you, 510 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,728 but you're not gonna get any of it 511 00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,229 if you don't want it for yourself. 512 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:31,149 (exhales) 513 00:27:32,942 --> 00:27:35,362 Healing is a small and ordinary thing. 514 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:40,992 (sighs) 515 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,121 And it's one thing and one thing only. 516 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:01,346 It's doing the impossible thing 517 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:03,264 every single day. 518 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,687 ("I Know the End" by Phoebe Bridgers playing) 519 00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:17,112 ♪ Somewhere in Germany but I can't place it ♪ 520 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:20,407 ♪ Man, I hate this part of Texas ♪ 521 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:23,576 ♪ Close my eyes, fantasize ♪ 522 00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:25,745 ♪ Three clicks and I'm home ♪ 523 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:29,666 ♪ When I get back, I'll lay around ♪ 524 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:33,044 ♪ Then I'll get up and lay back down ♪ 525 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:36,423 ♪ Romanticize a quiet life ♪ 526 00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:39,092 ♪ There's no place like my room ♪ 527 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,722 ♪ But you had to go ♪ 528 00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:47,016 ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪ 529 00:28:49,102 --> 00:28:53,481 ♪ Like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore ♪ 530 00:28:55,108 --> 00:28:59,904 ♪ Not even the burnouts are out here anymore ♪ 531 00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:03,241 ♪ And you had to go ♪ 532 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:06,953 ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪ 533 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,294 CHILD: Best day every! 534 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:23,011 Captioned by Point.360