1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:03,670 (keyboard clicking) 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,046 CLARE: Dear Sugar, 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,716 I've never written a fan letter before, 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:11,469 but I read your advice column religiously. 5 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,765 {\an8}Probably because given the state of my life, 6 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,642 {\an8}I could use some advice. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,770 ♪ Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? ♪ 8 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:23,148 ♪ Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Come on now ♪ 9 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,316 ♪ If you wanna go and take a ride with me ♪ 10 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,818 - (Clare singing along) - ♪ We three-wheeling 11 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:27,902 in the fo' with the gold D's ♪ 12 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,655 ♪ Oh, why do I live this way? ♪ 13 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,741 - CLARE: ♪ Hey, must be the money ♪ - ♪ Hey, must be the money ♪ 14 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,909 - (Clare singing along) - ♪ If you wanna go and get high with me ♪ 15 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,119 - (Clare singing along) - ♪ Smoke an L 16 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,162 in the back of the Benz-E... ♪ 17 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,081 (Clare humming) 18 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:42,083 ♪ Oh, must be the money ♪ 19 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,253 ELLEN: Which house is it again, dear? 20 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,051 - Uh. - Who can't find their way home? 21 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,720 Oh, that's it. That's the one, that's right there. 22 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,432 Great job. (continues singing) ♪ with an attitude ♪ 23 00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,977 You know, thank you so much, and happy retirement. 24 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,354 Oh, it's locked. 25 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,732 - Sorry. - (locks click open, door beeping) 26 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,108 Thank you. 27 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,402 Congratulations. 28 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,908 ♪ Ooh, must be the money ♪ 29 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:15,867 Shhh. 30 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,954 (car driving away) 31 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,168 Noo. 32 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,388 (knocks softly) 33 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,975 (distant dog barking) 34 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,521 Yes! 35 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,024 (grunting) 36 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,486 (bag thudding) 37 00:01:56,324 --> 00:02:00,286 (sing-song) Must be the money! It's gotta be the money. 38 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,166 - (thuds) - (groans) Fuck! 39 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,004 - (groaning) - Don't you fucking move! 40 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,882 Wha-- Oh, my God. Danny, it's just me. 41 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,384 - (footsteps thudding upstairs) - Shhh. 42 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,136 Jesus, Clare! Shit, you had me-- 43 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,512 I was all about to call the cops! 44 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,638 CLARE: Why? 45 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:19,722 DANNY: What are you doing? 46 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,849 What are you wearing? 47 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,308 CLARE: Oh, I borrowed it. 48 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,145 It was, um... It's Hawaiian themed. 49 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,523 I didn't have my keys, and then I-- 50 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,649 The window was-- 51 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,027 - And it went so... late. - You're drunk. 52 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:35,697 Is there chicken? 'Cause it smells chicken-y in here. 53 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,866 Yeah, we had chicken. Six hours ago. 54 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,410 Ugh. Ugh. 55 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,039 Mmm. Mm. 56 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,168 Aah. 57 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:49,836 Ah. 58 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,588 There were toasts and speeches 59 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,215 and, ugh, it's all so tragic, you know? 60 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:58,511 It's like 43 years of work just whittled down 61 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,723 to a tray of bacon-wrapped pineapple skewers 62 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,934 and Retire-Mints. Get it? 63 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,144 RAE: Mom? 64 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:10,940 Oh, hey! Frankie, sweetie. 65 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:15,153 - Rae. - Hey, hon. You wan-- You want some mints? 66 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,071 No. No one wants mints. Ever. 67 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,239 (scoffs) 68 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,866 So there's no chicken? 69 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,326 We ate all the fucking chicken, Clare. 70 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,285 Why are you here? 71 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,287 Whoa! Okay. 72 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,665 Why is everyone being such assholes? 73 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,750 What's going on? 74 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,255 Are you... back? 75 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,634 Wha-- Huh? 76 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,013 RAE: Well, I thought that you weren't supposed to be here... 77 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:42,931 or something. 78 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,270 Oh. 79 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233 (moaning) 80 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,611 Why am I eating this? 81 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,072 Because you literally took the wheel when we drove past-- 82 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,323 Well, you shouldn't have let me. 83 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,367 Shouldn't have let me. 84 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,952 You cannot tell Frankie. 85 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,036 It's Rae. 86 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,663 I hate calling her that. 87 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,332 But she's right, though, 88 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,542 because they are horrible to gay people. 89 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:13,920 Queer people. Sorry. 90 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,214 But it isn't just their homophobia. 91 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,924 It's-- it's-- Really, it's, like, 92 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,759 look here, it's all this crap 93 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,637 that's just gonna be floating on the planet forever. 94 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,430 You know, wedged into the 95 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,766 nostril of some innocent turtle. 96 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,519 But... (moans) 97 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,521 ...the butter and the pickles, it's just-- 98 00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:33,523 Fucckk! 99 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,485 - And those damn waffle fries. - Ooh. 100 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,070 So good. 101 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,907 Yeah. It's what makes it all so hard. 102 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,203 Everything good turns out to be bad. 103 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,955 (chuckles) 104 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:03,803 You're welcome. 105 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,350 You kicked me out. You want a "thank you"? 106 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,185 You do realize you're not the victim? 107 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,479 Well, neither are you, Danny. 108 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,189 - That's great. - CLARE: Neither are you! 109 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,734 - All right. Absolutely great. - Yeah, great, great. Thank you! 110 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,985 (drink splashes) 111 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,036 (pensive music playing) 112 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,079 My life is a mess, Sugar. 113 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,206 My daughter hates me. 114 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,250 My husband kicked me out a few nights ago, 115 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,712 and he thinks I'm crashing on my best friend's couch, 116 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:38,880 but I'm not. 117 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:43,885 I'm sitting on her stoop waiting for an Uber... Pool. 118 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:47,638 ♪ 119 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,563 Wondering how the hell my life ended up here, 120 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:59,150 looking for comfort from a woman I don't even know. 121 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,069 And also wondering, 122 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,988 has anyone ever written in to offer comfort to you? 123 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,496 Then I told my mom, "Bitch, college is for pussies. 124 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,539 All that money to graduate for what?" 125 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,083 - (boy continues talking) - CLARE: I read your response 126 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,084 in this week's column, 127 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,462 and one sentence buried deep within your advice 128 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,464 compelled me to write. 129 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,634 It was a sentence about your sister and her cancer. 130 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:28,262 MALE PASSENGER: I just paid for a blowjob in Bitcoin. 131 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,598 CLARE: I'm sorry that she died too young and too soon. 132 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,476 Oh, wait. This is good. 133 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,852 Wait. Stop, stop, stop. 134 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,190 MALE PASSENGER: Cool pad. 135 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,818 (device beeps) 136 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,112 CLARE: But that's the thing about grief, 137 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,448 you can't cry it away or eat it away 138 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,991 or punch it away. 139 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,161 It's just... there, 140 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,789 and you have to survive it. 141 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,707 You have to endure it. 142 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,251 You have to live with it, 143 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,504 which is the hardest thing in the world. 144 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,882 (keyboard clicking) 145 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,386 I was 22 when my mother was diagnosed. 146 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,223 FRANKIE: Everyone, ready? 147 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,766 - Yes. - YOUNG LUCAS: Yes. 148 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,770 Clare Marie Pierce is an award-winning essay writer 149 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,648 and soon-to-be college graduate with a 4.0, 150 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191 who is committed to summiting 151 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,360 - Machu Picchu over spring break! - Mexico! 152 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,028 Come on out, Clare! 153 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:29,657 - (both cheering) - (dog barking) 154 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,994 And now, a high school senior 155 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,037 who cannot get a tattoo until he graduates, 156 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,706 no matter how compelling his argument, 157 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,500 - and who's... - Is still a virgin! 158 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,585 YOUNG LUCAS: Stop saying that. 159 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,170 ...worn the same T-shirt for four days running 160 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,590 and appears to have no intention of taking it off! 161 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,927 - Get out here, Lucas! - YOUNG CLARE: Lucas! 162 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,181 (both cheering) 163 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,390 Yeah. 164 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,933 Are we ever gonna be too old for this? 165 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,351 We'll be doing this when I'm 80. 166 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,021 - YOUNG CLARE: Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 167 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,191 CLARE: And lately, I keep playing our last Christmas together 168 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,693 - over and over in my mind. - (keyboard clicking) 169 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,821 FRANKIE: Me first. 170 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,698 Me first. 171 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,950 I get to go first. 172 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,622 Ooh. 173 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,959 YOUNG LUCAS: Oh, no way! Is it vintage or something? 174 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,628 I knew you wanted one. 175 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,671 It was your father's. 176 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,050 He sent it? 177 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,136 I refurbished it. 178 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,932 - (tool clatters) - Lucas, don't be a little shit. 179 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,475 Somebody gives you something, you take it. 180 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,392 You take it. 181 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,186 I'm not the one who's ever wanted anything from him. 182 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,271 It's okay. He doesn't have to. 183 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,610 All right, you go ahead, honey. 184 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,322 Jess said that you needed one. 185 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,407 And I thought that it would be great for New York. 186 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,210 Do you like it? 187 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,295 Yeah, I love it. 188 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,466 Uh-- I do. I-- I love it. 189 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,260 (mockingly) You do? You love it? 190 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,761 Hey. 191 00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,560 Uh, it's-- It's long 192 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:23,854 and subs-- substantial. 193 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,189 I thought it was unique. 194 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,279 I just wonder, does it-- 195 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,448 Does it make more sense to get black? 196 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:38,536 Because it's dirty in New York, and it'll probably last longer. 197 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,371 And it's-- it's probably easy to exchange. 198 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,585 Sure. Sure. You should have what you want, honey. 199 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:51,215 CLARE: I hope, in your sister's death, 200 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,509 you'll be able to do something that I haven't. 201 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,720 - (keyboard clicking) - Create something of her life. 202 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,389 Make it beautiful. 203 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,018 And then, please, tell me how you did it. 204 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,688 Love, Clare. 205 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,983 ♪ 206 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:10,985 (Clare sighing) 207 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,388 - (Clare sighing) - (residents indistinct chatters) 208 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,600 CLARE: Uh, that can come down. 209 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,686 SHAN: You were so wasted last night. 210 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,521 How are you even walking this morning? 211 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,814 CLARE: I don't know, Shan. 212 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,274 Somehow I stagger on, 213 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:53,694 despite fielding the vitriol of an entitled millennial. 214 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,155 SHAN: I mean, literally walking. 215 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,074 When you fell off the stage after Me and Bobby McGee, 216 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,327 I thought you, like, broke a hip... or something. 217 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,999 Would you just take the fucking sign down, Shan? Thank you. 218 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,253 Oh, Bev's daughter wanted you to come by. Room 19. 219 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,672 She told me it was urgent. 220 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,553 - When? - Like, an hour ago. 221 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,055 (Clare scoffs) 222 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,725 (Clare sighs) Dammit. 223 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,185 SHAN: And I'm a Zoomer. 224 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:27,978 CLARE (softly): Morning. 225 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,606 CLARE: Krystal, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 226 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,857 I just got your message. 227 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,651 - Did you sleep in here last night? - Uh... 228 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,404 My mom said the admissions lady slept here last night. 229 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,161 I know that you get lonely sometimes. 230 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:47,873 And even though you know that I can't sleep in here, 231 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,542 I will always keep you company 232 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,961 and make sure you're feeling cozy 233 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,170 and all tucked in, right? 234 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,547 - Right? - Mmm. 235 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,049 (whispering) It's the Alzheimer's. 236 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,555 - MAN: There you go. - Thank you. 237 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,140 Gentleman. Hm. 238 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,894 - What? - Wow. 239 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,646 CLARE: Oh, my God! 240 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:13,190 Sam! What're you doing here? 241 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,193 - SAM: Oh, it's been-- - CLARE: Been forever! Shit! 242 00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,446 - You look great! - Wha-- Oh. 243 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,781 - Wait, when was the last time-- - I don't know! 244 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,450 Was it, uh, Bread Loaf? 245 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,993 Uh, uh, City Lights. Hannah's reading. 246 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,995 Oh, fuck! Yeah. 247 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,915 Aah. Wait, are you still at, uh, uh, The Believer? 248 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,625 No. They folded in March. 249 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,794 But I left for The Mantros years ago. 250 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,338 Oh, I love The Mantros. 251 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,841 Essays... Dear Sugar... 252 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,051 I know! I got your fan letter last night! 253 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,306 You wrote into Dear Sugar. 254 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,559 I'm Sugar. 255 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,480 I'll explain. Do you want to go somewhere? 256 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,564 Do you still not drive? 257 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,193 An advice column is easy clicks. 258 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,361 But who-- who wants to get advice 259 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,364 - from some middle-aged White dude? - I've literally been reading 260 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:05,159 this column for the last three months, and it's fucking you? 261 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,328 - How can it be you? - I'm detecting some disdain here. 262 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,289 Well, you're pretending to be a-- a woman? 263 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,499 - I know. I know! - What? 264 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,792 I am living a lie. 265 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,628 But then... you wrote in. 266 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,214 And I saw your name and I remembered your writing 267 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,508 and the essay-- That fucking essay. 268 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:24,595 And I realized that this woman that I'm pretending to be, 269 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,055 you know, working class, 270 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,265 pulled herself up by her bootstraps, 271 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,683 - kinda disheveled-- - Okay. 272 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,227 - She's literally you! - Okay. Okay. 273 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,812 - Okay, just take a left at Elm. - You should be 274 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,522 the one doing this. 275 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,689 Doing what? 276 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:38,234 - Being Sugar! - What? No. 277 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,235 I mean, it doesn't pay. 278 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,528 And-- And, you know, 279 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,613 there's no credit 'cause it's anonymous. 280 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,365 But I would be your point. 281 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,408 And all you have to do is answer, 282 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,993 like, one letter a week and-- 283 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,495 Sam, stop it. 284 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,539 I'm not giving anybody advice. 285 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:55,626 My life is a fucking shit show! 286 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,295 And I-- 287 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,880 I'm not a writer! 288 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,258 You're one of the best writers I know. 289 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:06,846 You didn't get a book deal off of that essay for nothing. 290 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,473 Doesn't count if you don't write the book. 291 00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,559 Everything counts, Sugar. 292 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,062 Don't call me that! 293 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,781 I'm sorry about your sister. 294 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,287 Clare, I don't have a fucking sister. I made it up. 295 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:35,082 You made up someone having fucking cancer? 296 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,584 Take a right. 297 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,335 SAM: Yes, I made it all up! 298 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,920 - (Clare scoffs) - SAM: This is why I need you! 299 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,881 Oh, you are the worst, Sam! 300 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,717 I can't believe I almost ever slept with you. Pull over! 301 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,719 - SAM: What are you doing? - CLARE: I'm-- I'm getting out. 302 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,805 Wait, what do you mean, "almost"? We never slept together? Why not? 303 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,682 'Cause you're an asshole. 304 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,602 Oh, so you're done with me now? That's it? 305 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,146 I have therapy. Thank you for the ride. 306 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,982 - What? You're an asshole! - Okay, fine. 307 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,692 SAM: No, no, no, no. Here. Wait. I-- 308 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:05,070 I printed out the letters that I didn't answer 309 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,614 because I can't-- (mumbles) 310 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,866 Just... read 'em. 311 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,035 And if you want, just answer one. 312 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,578 (Clare laughs) 313 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,789 Everyone's lives are a fucking shit show! 314 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,833 People, they need help. 315 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,377 You said it yourself, "Create something of her life. 316 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,629 Make it beautiful." 317 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,467 EMPLOYEE: Let me see if I can help you. 318 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,010 Did you happen to save the receipt? 319 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,846 I... did not save the receipt. 320 00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,556 It was final sale. 321 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,808 EMPLOYEE: I-- I can try to look it up. 322 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,602 FRANKIE: I appreciate that. 323 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,023 EMPLOYEE: I may need to talk to my supervisor. 324 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,531 - Did it work out? - Mm-hmm. 325 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:50,866 - It's okay? - It's okay. 326 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:52,993 (elevator bell dings) 327 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:57,957 You're late. 328 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,416 I'm actually two minutes early 329 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,252 'cause she's always five minutes late, so. 330 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,754 - (phone dings) - CLARE: (softly) Now, 331 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,005 make sure that's off. 332 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,677 Who is it? 333 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,346 - Hmm? - DANNY: (scoffs) Lucas again? 334 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:18,018 MEL: I'm glad you both are choosing to be here today. 335 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,648 I know, in the past, that hasn't always been the case. 336 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,028 This feels like a particularly hard moment in your marriage. 337 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,990 I think a lot has been said. 338 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,577 And maybe... a lot hasn't been said. 339 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,500 Yeah. No, um, I-- I feel that same way. 340 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,336 Honestly, it's, um... 341 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:46,839 Uh... 342 00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:50,300 Yeah. 343 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,053 Jung once said, 344 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,556 "I am not what has happened to me. 345 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,475 I am what I choose to become." 346 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,811 Does that bring up anything for you, Clare? 347 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:01,895 No. 348 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,566 How long am I supposed to stay out of my own home? 349 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,027 Well, how long do you think you need to stay out of your home? 350 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,072 What are we doing? 351 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:15,659 What is this space supposed to accomplish? 352 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:19,538 Or is it just, like, one long, torturous experiment 353 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,874 to slowly turn my own daughter against me? 354 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,500 It was her college fund! 355 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,377 Part of. That he will pay back! 356 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,296 You just gave it away without even talking to me! 357 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,714 What? You just thought I wouldn't notice? 358 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,174 CLARE: What did you want me to fucking do? 359 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,341 Leave him homeless? 360 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,801 It was our childhood home! 361 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,344 It's my mother's house! 362 00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:36,847 He lives there! And it was under water. 363 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,515 Yeah, because he fucked up. 364 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,683 Yeah, he fucks up all the time! 365 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,060 Yeah, he does fuck up all the time and-- 366 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,604 Yeah, fine, fine! But family takes care of family. 367 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,856 I'm it for him. What would you do? 368 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,025 Would you leave me on the fucking street? 369 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,943 Oh! (scoffs) 370 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,279 MEL: Clare, have you ever heard of the phrase 371 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,739 "financial infidelity"? 372 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,740 Oh, my God. 373 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,450 MEL: It can be as destabilizing 374 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,620 and damaging as sexual infidelity. Even more so. 375 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,498 Yeah. Okay. That's not even in the same ballpark, 376 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,333 - 'cause there's no betrayal here. - Right. 377 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,251 - I needed to take care of my brother. - (Danny scoffs) 378 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,545 Yeah, when you do something wrong, it's-- it's different rules. 379 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,838 This is not about rules. 380 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,840 Not everybody comes from where you come from, 381 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,383 - or just-- or, you know, - DANNY: Jesus, this. 382 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,385 starts life with an even playing field. 383 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,221 I'm a Black man in America. I know people 384 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,806 don't come from an equal playing field, Clare. 385 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,849 That's not what I mean. I'm talking about being rich! 386 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,768 - I grew up middle class. - Yeah, that's rich. 387 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,687 What do you want me to say? My brother's a fuck-up. I'm a fuck-up. 388 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:26,855 Okay, I'm an awful person. 389 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,690 I'm awful. I'm horrible. That's it. 390 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,818 I don't know what to say. I don't know what to fucking say. 391 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,153 Let's just start with how you're feeling, hm? 392 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:37,074 I am feeling hungry. I am feeling tired. 393 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,368 I'm feeling like a shell of a person. 394 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,287 - Like I'm staring into an abyss-- - I get it. 395 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,166 I mean, I'm not there yet, 396 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,709 but I think it's really common 397 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,545 for women your age to feel this way. 398 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,879 You've spoken before 399 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,048 about your insecurities with getting older and-- 400 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:55,300 I thought we were talking about me giving money to my brother. 401 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,593 And with the age gap 402 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,095 - between you and Danny-- - It's not that big. 403 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,515 MEL: And the way our society treats women over 50 as irrelevant-- 404 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,225 - I'm 49! - You'll be 50 in a month. 405 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,770 Women over 50 are treated as if they are barely sexual beings. 406 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:11,275 Their beauty is fading, or at least our conventional ideas of beauty. 407 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,235 Because of that, their power wanes. 408 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:17,573 Their wants and desires are considered as an afterthought. 409 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,408 Okay. 410 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,205 (keys jingle) 411 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,916 (office crowd chattering) 412 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,966 (elevator whirling) 413 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:39,761 (elevator bell dinging) 414 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,016 - Oh. - (door closes) 415 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,857 (muffled conversation) 416 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,203 (Danny speaking indistinctly) 417 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,955 ♪ 418 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,209 - (bar music playing) - (patrons laughing, chattering) 419 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,627 I mean, it's therapy! 420 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:12,878 It's not office hours. 421 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,922 You don't stick around after class! 422 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:18,592 You know, that's like a cesspool full of bacteria, right? 423 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,762 Okay, why don't you ask your hot dishwasher to clean it out? 424 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,681 Oh, well, maybe I will. 425 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,267 - Hello. - MACARIO: There you go. 426 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,352 Oh, my God! 427 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,021 AMY: Thank you. (laughing) 428 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,314 Jesus Christ, Amy! 429 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,399 (Amy snickering) 430 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,318 I'm naughty! 431 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,153 Uh, are they having sex? 432 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,821 They-- Do they wanna have sex? 433 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:44,993 Is couple's therapy some, you know, sick psycho foreplay 434 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,411 where they're just telepathically 435 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,872 jerking each other off in front of me? 436 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:52,376 And... is my insurance paying for it? 437 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,543 AMY: Oh, my God! 438 00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,420 Maybe I should be a couple's therapist. 439 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,130 CLARE: I mean, I'm the one who found her! 440 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,382 He didn't even wanna go! 441 00:20:58,382 --> 00:20:59,633 And now he's like, what-- He's what? 442 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,885 He's, like, fucking some woman 443 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,762 who decorates her office with 444 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,932 gnomes grabbing their own weird stone vaginas? 445 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,142 Okay. Danny loves you. 446 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:13,855 He's not fucking his therapist or any stone, uh, vaginas, okay? 447 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,693 She called me barely a woman. 448 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,780 Am I barely a woman? 449 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,032 I mean, she probably said it to get laid. 450 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,827 - Thanks, Amy. - AMY: Hi there. 451 00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:30,205 (car engine) 452 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,958 (car breaks squeaking) 453 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,128 Thanks. 454 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:39,798 (car door closes) 455 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,268 Hey. 456 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:53,645 Hey. 457 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,910 - (softly) Hey. - ("Cannonball" by The Breeders playing) 458 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,038 (moaning) 459 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,463 ♪ Spitting in a wishing well ♪ 460 00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:22,007 ♪ Blown to hell, crash ♪ 461 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,427 (Young Clare moaning) 462 00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:32,017 ♪ I know you're a real cuckoo ♪ 463 00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:37,064 - (Young Clare exhales sharply) - (rumbling) 464 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:40,567 - (Clare grunting) Okay. - ZACH: I can't get it in. 465 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:42,944 CLARE: No, it's because, uh-- It's-- it's-- The angle is wrong 466 00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:46,531 - Okay, yeah, maybe we-- Yeah, let's go. - Yeah. 467 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,450 (squishing) 468 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,161 What the f-- Wait, what the fuck is happening? 469 00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:53,163 Wait, is this a waterbed? 470 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,415 Oh, my God! (laughing) Oh, my God. 471 00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:57,751 Am I in 1979? 472 00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:01,755 Am I in a-- Am I trapped in a fucking Steely Dan song? 473 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:03,799 Oh, my God. 474 00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:07,010 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - What? 475 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,679 (Clare laughing and crying) 476 00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:10,847 Oh. 477 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:14,393 - Oh, my God. - ZACH: Are you okay? 478 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,270 (Clare crying) 479 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:20,232 I am not okay. 480 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,068 Wait, are you married? 481 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,196 - What the-- - The ring on your finger? 482 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,365 Are you gonna fucking judge me? 483 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,200 You have a fucking waterbed! 484 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,284 So? 485 00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,163 (Clare exhales sharply) 486 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,749 ZACH: And I like Steely Dan. 487 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,460 Well, they're a great band. 488 00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:43,255 - (gate motor) - (distant dog barking) 489 00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:52,931 (phone chimes) 490 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,487 ♪ 491 00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,281 (bus engine) 492 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,493 (deep breath) 493 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:30,218 WOMAN: Dear Sugar, 494 00:24:30,218 --> 00:24:32,596 I'm 22, and my question is short. 495 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:35,390 What would you tell your 20-something self 496 00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:36,850 if you could talk to her now? 497 00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:39,811 Love, Seeking Wisdom. 498 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,025 ♪ 499 00:24:47,235 --> 00:24:48,278 CLARE: Dear... 500 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,241 Dear... 501 00:24:57,871 --> 00:24:59,664 Dear Seeking Wisdom. 502 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:03,543 What would I tell my 22-year-old self? 503 00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:07,422 I'd say, stop worrying whether you're fat. 504 00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:09,966 Feed yourself, literally. 505 00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:12,385 The people worthy of your love... 506 00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:13,470 You look happy. 507 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,305 CLARE: ...will love you more for this. 508 00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:24,898 I'd also say that most things will be okay eventually, 509 00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:27,692 but not everything. 510 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,242 One afternoon in your 20s, 511 00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:36,868 when you've gotten yourself ridiculously 512 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:38,578 tangled up with heroin, 513 00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:40,455 you'll be riding the bus and thinking 514 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:42,457 what a worthless piece of shit you are. 515 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:46,169 A little girl will get on the bus with her mother, 516 00:25:46,169 --> 00:25:48,338 holding the strings of two purple balloons. 517 00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,674 She will offer you one of the balloons, 518 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,050 but you won't take it 519 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,386 because you believe you no longer have a right 520 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,721 to such tiny beautiful things. 521 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,561 You're wrong. 522 00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:06,648 You do. 523 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:13,488 EMPLOYEE: That's $127.62. I'm so sorry. 524 00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:16,074 CLARE: And someday, you'll look back on that one Christmas, 525 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,410 when your mother gave you a mustard-yellow coat 526 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,662 that she'd saved for months to buy. 527 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,750 ♪ 528 00:26:29,337 --> 00:26:32,132 Don't hold it up and say it's longer than you like your coats to be, 529 00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:36,094 and too puffy, and possibly even too warm. 530 00:26:38,054 --> 00:26:40,307 Because your mother will be dead by spring... 531 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:41,391 (door opens) 532 00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:44,978 ...and that coat will be the last gift she ever gave you. 533 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:46,896 RAE: Are you okay? 534 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:53,320 I love you. (sniffles) 535 00:26:54,821 --> 00:26:56,239 You know that, right? 536 00:26:56,239 --> 00:26:58,742 Ab-- About the money, it's-- it's not gone. 537 00:26:58,742 --> 00:27:00,285 It's not about the money. 538 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:01,369 Then what? 539 00:27:05,665 --> 00:27:06,958 Do you want me to bring that in? 540 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,258 CLARE: And you will regret the small thing you didn't say 541 00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:16,468 for the rest of your life. 542 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,386 RAE: Have a good night. 543 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,598 You too. 544 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,058 When a gift is given, 545 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:24,809 say "thank you". 546 00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:25,810 Mom? 547 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,360 You dropped something. 548 00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:38,990 CLARE: When a gift is given, say "thank you". 549 00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:48,249 When a gift... is given... 550 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:52,212 (door closes) 551 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,296 Thank you. 552 00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:01,471 ♪ 553 00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:06,643 ♪ I'm trying to tell you something 'bout my life ♪ 554 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:12,565 ♪ Maybe give me insight between black and white ♪ 555 00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:16,403 ♪ And the best thing that you ever done for me ♪ 556 00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:21,324 ♪ Is to help me take my life less seriously ♪ 557 00:28:21,324 --> 00:28:24,160 ♪ It's only life after all ♪ 558 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:29,916 ♪ I went to the doctor ♪ 559 00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:32,335 ♪ I went to the mountains ♪ 560 00:28:32,335 --> 00:28:34,796 ♪ I looked to the children ♪ 561 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,257 ♪ I drank from the fountains ♪ 562 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:41,010 ♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪ 563 00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:43,680 ♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪ 564 00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:48,309 ♪ And the less I seek my source ♪ 565 00:28:48,309 --> 00:28:52,647 ♪ The closer I am to fine ♪ 566 00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:57,777 ♪ Closer I am to fine ♪ 567 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:03,408 ♪ Closer I am to fine ♪ 568 00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:15,086 Captioned by Point.360