[insects trilling]
Um... isn't Whitestone supposed to be here?
This is the right valley.
But where's it gone?
[Vex sighs] What's with cities up and moving this week?
[wind whistling]
Hmm.
♪ ♪
Maybe it didn't move.
[whooshing]
[Kima] The dragons are on the move.
They've already taken Emon and Westruun.
[Allura] Our defenses are holding steady
for now, but Gilmore and I will need help soon.
Hiding the city was never meant
to be a permanent solution.
I can't speak for Allura,
but keeping this cloaking spell up
is murder on my complexion.
I am fully aware of our situation.
But for now,
concealing Whitestone is the only way to protect it.
[Percy] Well, whatever you're doing, Cass,
- I'm pleased to see it's worked. - [people gasping]
Percy.
[Allura] Vox Machina.
After three weeks, we'd started to give up hope.
Three weeks?
We've only been gone three days.
I hate the bloody Fey Realm.
Well, despite your temporal hiccup,
I'm relieved you're back.
[kisses]
Oh, and with a new look. [laughs]
[chuckles] Something like that.
Happy to see you as well, Shaun.
[Kima] So, uh...
where's everyone else?
[chuckling] Funny story. I... kind of lost them.
[snorts] It's...
It's really not that funny.
We were separated from the others when Umbrasyl attacked.
They could be anywhere.
Then perhaps I can help you find your friends.
Show me what is lost.
[Vex] Oh, okay, they're alive.
[Keyleth] Um, but who are those guys?
[Vex] Grog doesn't seem to be hiding.
Did he get... smaller?
Huh, glad I'm not the only one who's thinking it.
Oh, no. He appears to be in Westruun.
Westruun?
My diplomats report the dragon Umbrasyl has taken up there.
Most of the locals have fled or...
[imitates slicing blade]
[chuckles]
[Vax] Then Grog could be in deep shit.
♪ ♪
Strongjaw.
Hello, Uncle.
♪ ♪
I didn't think it was possible for you to get any smaller
than the puny boy I pummeled years ago.
[growls]
[laughing]
It appears I've angered the dead man.
[the Herd laughing]
I'm here to finish what you started.
Never pick a fight you can't win.
History won't remember a blood smear on anyone's axe.
You think history will remember you?
I'm told a dragon made the mighty Kevdak,
wielder of the Titanstone Knuckles,
bend the knee.
So tell me, Uncle,
do you still have your shriveled nutsack,
or did you give that to the dragon, too?
[the Herd exclaiming]
Best make your point while you still have your head.
[Grog] Fine.
I've come to restore honor to this Herd,
so I challenge you, Kevdak,
to single combat.
[grunts]
I accept.
- [cheering] - [Herd member] Get him!
- [Herd member] Come with me. - [whooping]
[Herd member] Clear them a square.
[Herd member 2] Make it a ring.
Shit, can't believe he went in there alone.
We got to do something.
[Kaylie] And what do you suggest?
[Scanlan] Kaylie.
I thought I told you to get out of here.
Ugh, and miss all the fun?
[Kevdak] The rules of Herd combat are thus:
The fight ends when someone dies.
End of rules.
Good. 'Cause I can't keep track of any more than that.
[laughter]
What weapon did you bring today, Nephew?
Uh.
Oh. Oh, shit.
Uh... I'm kind of between weapons at the moment.
[chuckles] You know how it is.
Very well.
- Show me what you got. - [crackling]
[grunting]
[growling]
[crackling]
Ooh!
[cheering]
[labored breathing]
[panting]
[crackling]
[shouts]
[Pike] We got to get in there.
[gasps] You should stay back.
I'm not letting you out of my sight.
[distant cheering]
[exhales] Fine.
Ahh!
[groaning]
[grunts]
[Kevdak] What do we have here?
- [Herd member] Grab her, get her! - [gasps]
- [grunts] - Kaylie!
[grunting]
No, leave 'em!
[grunting]
- [the Herd laughing] - [Pike moaning]
[Kevdak] You invite your friends to watch you die?
They're more than just friends.
You are joking, right?
[whooping]
[laughter]
[roaring]
[screams]
[cheering]
[Grog gasping]
[shouting]
[Kevdak] Come here, you.
[Pike grunts]
I should've known.
You always did have a soft spot for the wee folk.
[groaning]
- [grunting] - [laughter]
Who wants to watch the bitch's head squash?
- [cheering] - No!
This is between you and me.
You did this, Grog.
The moment you set foot in this city,
you brought death to your friends.
Buddies!
[grunting]
Pike!
[grunting]
[Groon] Grog Strongjaw.
Where does your strength come from?
What?
What strength?
Can't you see how weak I am?
[echoing] Where does your strength come from?
Grog!
[groans]
I need you.
I...
...would like...
...to...
[roaring] ...rage!
[gasping]
[panting]
[roaring]
[grunting]
Don't ever hurt my...
- Pike! - [crackling]
- [cheering] - That's adorable.
Tiny Grog still has some fight in him.
Oops.
Looks like I do, too.
[grunting]
Ah!
[grunts]
[gasps]
Ahh!
- [groans] - Nothing's changed, Grog.
Still the meek coward who ran crying for the hills.
[crackling]
What made you think you could stop me?
F... friends...
What was that?
[Grog] My strength... comes from my friends.
[laughing]
[laughter]
[gun clicks]
[Kevdak] Well, too bad, Grog.
They couldn't save you.
Yeah, but the thing is...
[spits] ...I got more.
Vox Machina...
[roaring]
[Grog] ...fuck shit
up!
[grunting]
Scanlan's hand!
You heard the man.
[heavy metal music playing]
[shouts]
- [Scanlan] Ow! ♪ - [roars]
Bleed 'em.
[clamoring]
Rage, rage, rage ♪
Release a hell upon you ♪
A beast without a cage ♪
♪ Realize the demons are comin' ♪
When we all rage ♪
[clamoring]
[roars]
Rage, rage, rage ♪
♪ Just when you think that you're winnin' ♪
And there's no escape ♪
♪ We turn the tables and fuck you up ♪
When we all rage ♪
[grunting]
Rage ♪
Ooh... ♪
[shouts]
[roars]
We get what we want ♪
Take what we need ♪
♪ Bring mothafuckas to their knees ♪
Get what we want ♪
Take what we need ♪
♪ Never stop even when you're beggin' us "please!" ♪
[clamoring]
We all have to rage ♪
♪ No stoppin' us now, mothafuckas ♪
When we all rage ♪
Rage ♪
- The gauntlet! - Rage ♪
Rage ♪
♪ We all have to rage, mothafuckas ♪
We all have to rage ♪
♪ No stoppin' us now, mothafuckas ♪
When we all rage ♪
Rage, rage ♪
Rage ♪♪
[groaning]
[the Herd gasps]
[groaning]
[panting]
[shouts]
That is badass.
[shouting]
Herd of Storms,
do not let these weaklings get the better of you.
[grunts]
End this.
[clamoring]
[grunts]
This isn't going well.
Ooh!
♪ ♪
[panting]
[grunting]
Son.
Father.
Gods, I hope this works.
[Vex] Come on, Trinket, I need the space.
[roars]
Grog, want to try something crazy?
Fuck yeah.
Show him who you are!
For...
Strongjaw!
[grunting]
♪ ♪
[Herd member] Wha...
[moaning]
[Pike] Grog!
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[Grog groaning]
Hello, buddies.
[sighs] We got to work on your landings.
[grunting]
[crackling]
[the Herd chanting] Strongjaw, Strongjaw.
[louder chanting] Strongjaw. Strongjaw.
Strongjaw. Strongjaw. Strongjaw.
Strongjaw.
Herd of Storms...
[groans] ...it's done.
Kevdak is done.
You're free now.
[Zanror] So what, Cousin?
You're in charge now.
Zanror, it's been a while.
Why the shackles?
I finally stood up to the old man.
Like you, I paid a price.
Do what you have to.
[crackling]
[gasps]
You were once like a brother to me.
And I see you have the strength
to do what your father could never do:
Lead with honor.
Which is why...
...Zanror will now be known
as Thunderlord of the Herd of Storms.
[the Herd cheering]
Me?
But what will you do?
Oh, nothing. Maybe kill a dragon.
Care to join me?
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[laughter]
[gulping]
Ah! [laughing]
[whoops]
Oy. I almost killed you out there.
I know. I nearly shot myself.
- Me too. [laughing] - [cheering]
[laughter]
Give us a tune to celebrate.
[cheering]
Okay, okay. An oldie but a goodie.
To the end of Kevdak and the start of something new.
Boys.
Oh ♪
I came across a lovely lass ♪
♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o...
[Keyleth] So then Vex and Vax saw their dad
and yeesh, it was awkward.
And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, here we are.
W-Wait, what about the vestige? Was it hard to get?
No, no. It was easy.
[gulping]
So easy.
[laughter]
[whooping]
- [crowd shouting] - [sighs]
[grunts]
Uh...
[cawing]
[gasps]
Hey, you. I've been thinking,
and...
Do you want to dance? With me?
Uh, that's all right.
Maybe some other time.
Uh...
Okay, um...
[clicks tongue] Rain check.
[upbeat song continues]
Was that too much? I thought I was being cool.
- [Grog] Kaylie, get up here. - [gulping]
♪ I met a boy who was just my type ♪
♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪
♪ But in the bed couldn't satisfy ♪
♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪
Oh, he tried ♪
♪ But he left me high and dry...
Right. We need to take out Umbilical.
- Umbrasyl. - Fuck. Him, too.
But now's our chance.
We got the Herd on our side.
Ooh, I've been itching for payback.
Maybe it's time the Conclave feels
the might of the Herd of Storms.
To glory?
To blood.
[both grunt]
[gulping]
Now, the dark one comes to town
every couple of days to collect his tithe.
Might be a good opportunity for a trap.
A trap, you say?
I could sketch up a few diagrams,
work out the proper leverage and counterbalance.
[grunts]
My Herd!
[music stops]
I know we long to roam again.
But we claim Westruun as our home for one more night.
At dawn, we shall whet our blades
against the hide of a dragon!
[cheering]
[Percy] Uh, we might need
a little more time than that.
My contraptions tend to have a lot of gears
and moving bits...
[Grog] And there's the drinking.
We need more time for drinking.
At noon, we shall whet our blades.
At dawn we plan.
Wait, we got to wake up at dawn?
It's fine, we can discuss the timeline later.
- [cheering] - When your meat's in heat ♪
And you need release ♪
That's when you need to ♪
- Grip it ♪ - Whip it ♪
And make the bald man cry ♪♪
[cheering]
[whoops, laughs]
We make such lovely harmony together.
Care for one more encore?
Actually, I could use a break.
- Escort me upstairs? - Hmm.
[indistinct chatter]
[Scanlan laughing] Then... and then,
I disguised us all as cows. [laughing]
- [laughs] - I know. Brilliant, right?
Tell me, Scanlan Shorthalt,
how did you, of all people, find yourself
overthrowing tyrants and slaying dragons?
[smacks lips] Ah, you know, I mean,
the life of an entertainer brings endless adventure,
freedom,
and exploration.
Ooh, that sounds fun.
But do you know what's even more fun?
Ooh, bondage? Me like-y. [chuckles]
Also not opposed to being called daddy if the mood suits, hmm?
I've been wanting to do this for a while now.
Ooh. Do you, uh... Do you feel that?
That's chemistry. And we have it.
We sure have something.
So, uh, tell me about yourself, beautiful Kaylie,
eyes like the Marquesian sun.
I'm actually not too different from yourself.
I grew up in Kymal, but I moved around a lot.
Ooh.
My mum gave up all her savings for my education.
[chuckles] Uh, oh, oh, yeah? Moms are the best.
[Kaylie chuckles] Mine certainly was.
You know, Dr. Dranzel spun many a tale about you,
Scanlan Shorthalt.
Yeah, I mean, that's not surprising.
That guy seemed like a bit of a fanboy.
[Kaylie] But most of his stories
I'd already heard... from my mother.
Huh.
You, uh... You must make her quite, quite proud?
[laughing] Yeah.
[Kaylie] Aye.
She would be proud.
Proud I'm finally meeting the silver-tongued devil
who whispered empty promises in her ear, then disappeared.
Leaving her with nothing but a song.
And me.
Wait...
...I'm daddy?
[Scanlan] ♪ Oh, I came across a lovely lass ♪
Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪
♪ A farmer's daughter with some sass ♪
Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪
♪ Oh, I begged her to let me spend the night ♪
♪ She answered "no," so I wandered home ♪
♪ That's when my bald man cried ♪
[Kaylie] ♪ When you're pattin' the bunny ♪
Or flickin' the bean ♪
♪ Or strummin' the ole clamjo ♪
♪ When they can't keep up, just touch your stuff ♪
Don't make his bald man cry ♪
[Scanlan] ♪ When you're burpin' the worm ♪
[Kaylie] ♪ Or butterin' your muffin ♪
[Scanlan] ♪ Or spankin' the monkey ♪
[both] Or in a menage a moi ♪
♪ When your meat's in heat and you need release ♪
That's when you need to ♪
[Scanlan] Grip it ♪
[Kaylie] Whip it ♪
And make the bald man cry ♪♪
[cheering]
Chirp.