[sirens wailing]
[growling]
[loud thud]
Ladies and gentleman,
please welcome to the stage...
the latest, and might I say,
greatest, addition to the Vought
crime-fighting family...
The Homelander!
- [cheers, applause] - [Madelyn] Not since Soldier Boy
has Vought been so excited to work
with a superhero of The Homelander's caliber.
[camera shutters clicking]
Hello, friends.
[reporter] The Homelander, what made you decide
to join up with Vought?
[camera shutters clicking]
I, uh... Um...
[crowd murmuring]
[high-pitched ringing]
Say, you guys ever hear of the Whitehall Tigers?
What? No? Ah, that's okay.
That was my team back as a kid.
Back then, I only wanted to do two things,
play baseball and play baseball.
[heavy breathing]
[Homelander] Every night on the farm,
playing catch with my dad, I'd dream of the big leagues.
Hitting a homer at Yankee Stadium.
Heck, I would've settled
for just warming the bench at Yankee Stadium.
- [crowd laughing] - [screaming]
What I'm saying is, my baseball career didn't exactly work out,
but Vought? Well, Vought is the big leagues for someone like me.
A chance to use my gifts
to help make the world a better place.
- [applause] - New York's a lot rougher
than a Whitehall baseball diamond.
How are you getting ready for everything
this city can throw at you?
- [Homelander] Great question. - [screams]
Vought's teamed me up with someone I've idolized
my entire life.
My friend and yours,
- Black Noir. - [triumphant music playing]
[cheers, applause]
[camera shutters clicking]
[music distorting]
This was supposed to be your big debut.
Your big moment.
And he puts Noir up there with you?
You should be fucking upset about this.
If Mr. Edgar believes Black Noir can teach me...
Noir is not there to teach you.
He is there to watch you.
Make sure you follow the script.
Make sure you don't screw up and embarrass the company.
And bring you in if you do.
And do you think Noir wants you
in his number one spot?
Not likely.
Being on stage--
all those people who wanted to be you,
or be with you, or fuck you--
it felt good, right?
Yes.
That's the future I'm building for you,
but you need to take it.
Don't let some murderous, mute psycho get in your way.
We should drop the "The."
Just "Homelander" is better.
♪ ♪
[TV reporter] The group, calling themselves
the Chemical Liberation Front,
have taken eight hostages
at the Cruz Chemical plant on Staten Island.
The hostages are said to all be
Cruz Chemical managers and executives.
The CLF also released this footage an hour ago.
We didn't want to do this, but Cruz left us no choice.
Their toxic poisons drift into our schools,
our parks, our homes, and cause this.
Until they close this fucking cancer factory,
we're not fucking going anywhere!
[Homelander] I'm here.
[handler] Hold position.
Black Noir on route.
ETA 14 minutes.
[Madelyn] Don't let some murderous, mute psycho
get in your way.
These hostages don't have 14 minutes.
I'm going in.
[handler] Wait, Homelan...
- [Homelander] Excuse me, ma'am. - [gasps]
- [loud punch] - [grunts]
[shaky breaking]
I'm sorry, but you'll need to stay here
- until the authorities arrive. - Ah!
- Ow! I can't breathe. - You'll be fine.
You wrapped a metal pipe around my chest.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Ted! Ted, help!
- Liz? You okay? - [Liz] Help me!
[grunts, groans] Fuck!
[groans] Oh, God, you broke my fucking nose.
And you, I'm afraid, broke the law, Mister.
Ah, fuck you.
Clown-suited piece of shit.
[CLF leader over radio] Ted? Can you check on Liz?
She's not answering. Ted?
[whimpers]
Fuck! That means someone's here.
We got to get fucking ready.
[gasps] I don't want to die. I don't want to die.
- I don't want to die. I don't want to die. - Shit. Okay. Here we go.
Please, we just work here.
We don't make any decisions.
- [door opens] - [gasps]
[lasers blasting]
[coughing]
My name's The...
My name's Homelander.
And I'm not here to hurt anyone.
Don't come any closer. We'll kill them.
Whoa, ho, ho, ho. Easy, friend.
I understand you're angry, but this...
this violence is no way to effect change.
So put your guns down and let's talk.
Just stay back. I'm warning you.
Fuck you, you facist fuck!
- [gunfire] - [screaming]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Violence is never the answer.
Now, if you come peacefully,
I'll make sure your cause
is discussed at the highest level.
If you don't get the fuck out of here,
I'll kill him.
No, but...
y-your gun's useless now. It's over.
This thing will still fucking explode if I pull the trigger,
so get the fuck back!
You know, friend,
it's hard to hold a gun
when it's 500 degrees Fahrenheit.
No, you idiot, it'll ex...
[screams]
[woman gasping]
[woman screams]
[groaning]
[screaming]
You weren't...
You weren't supposed to do that.
That was you!
What the fuck do you think happens
when you heat up a fucking gun, you stupid fuck?
I... I didn't know.
We weren't gonna hurt anybody.
We were trying to save lives.
[crying] Oh, fuck, my hand.
[Sharon] What kind of fucking superhero are you?
[screaming]
No, no, no. Stop.
I just need to think.
Y-You're all being too loud,
- and I need to think. - [Sharon] You're a fucking
fascist murderer and...
Shut up!
[groaning]
[screams]
No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Don't... don't be afraid.
This is their fault. They're the bad guys.
I-I'm the hero. You love me.
You're a monster.
- [panting] - [screaming]
[gasps]
No...
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck.
[woman grunting]
[coughs]
[panting]
[woman gasps]
Oh, God. Oh, pl-please... Oh...
- [crying] God... - No, no, no, no.
They... they made me do that.
I didn't want to,
but... they made me.
[panting]
I can explain, okay? Uh...
They had guns, see, and-and...
He murdered everyone.
He killed everyone.
No, no. You...
You don't fucking understand.
Oh, this is perfect, isn't it?
You're gonna use this to get rid of me, aren't you?
Keep your spot as Vought's number one hero.
Well, you know what?
That's not gonna happen.
I'm not gonna let you or anyone else
take my future away from...
- [explosion] - [grunts]
[grunts]
Come here.
I made one fucking mistake, and you're gonna hang me over that?
You just don't want the competition, do you?
But let's be honest,
it's not really a competition, is it?
[grunts]
Your time's over, Noir. It's my turn.
I paid my fucking dues.
[gurgling]
It's since... Jesus, fuck!
[static]
[coughing]
Oh... fuck.
[woman coughing]
[panting]
[coughing]
[bones crack]
[body thuds]
They had a bomb.
I covered it with my body, but the blast was too great.
We searched the rubble.
Sadly, we're the only survivors.
I failed you, all of you.
No, no. What are you... [stammers]
You risked your lives for us.
- We're grateful to you. - [cheers, applause]
Thank you, but... [sighs]
...those poor hostages,
they were the real heroes.
Well, not exactly the rollout I imagined for you, but...
[sighs] ...you handled it well.
Believe it or not, even with everyone dead,
your ratings went up.
Good. That's good.
You know,
- you were wrong about Noir. - Was I?
He had a few things to teach me after all.
[slurping]
♪ ♪