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KOMPLOTAN MEMPERSEMBAHKAN: BIADAB

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8 TAHUN LALU

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Kau tak akan kusakiti.

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Hanya membuat penarikan
yang lama tertunda.

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Namun, minggirlah.

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-Groundhawk!
-Sial.

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Dahulu kau pahlawan, dan temanku.

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Masa bodoh.

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Aku bertaruh nyawa berulang kali.

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Apa balasanku?

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Namaku di berita?

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Persetan itu.

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Saatnya aku mendapat lebih...
uang lebih.

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Namun, tak bisa kubiarkan.

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Kalau begitu cegah aku.

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Tampaknya kau butuh bantuan.

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Gerakan bagus. Kau siapa?

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Nubia. Ratu Guntur.

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Aku Nubian Prince.

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Pangeran Nubia.

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Kebetulan, ya?

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Mau menjatuhkannya bersama?

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Kukira kau tak akan minta.

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Majulah!

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Ya.

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Rumahmu atau rumahku?

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Kenapa aksenmu hilang?

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Aku dari Bakersfield.

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Aku akan...

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VOUGHT TUBE
GROUNDHAWK DIHAJAR

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MASA KINI

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GROUNDHAWK MEMBELOT
PAHLAWAN MENJADI JAHAT!

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NUBIA & NUBIAN PRINCE MELAWAN GROUNDHAWK
CINTA PANDANGAN PERTAMA

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-Aku tak percaya kau melakukan itu!
-Kau tak percaya?

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Kau yang terus mengenaiku!

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Itu tak sengaja!

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Kena testikelku, Nubia!

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NUBIAN VERSUS NUBIAN

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Kau tahu apa rasanya
testikel kena sambaran petir?

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Jangan cengeng.

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Perlu ada vagina di sini.
Aku jelas tak dapat.

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Kau dapatkan jika ikut bekerja, Gerald.

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Tepat inilah ucapan Dr. Krause.

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-Kau selalu mau mengebiriku.
-Lihat? Ini tak berhasil, NP.

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Tunggu.

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Kecuali testikelku,

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Martin Luther King dan Malcolm X,
pertempuran itu hebat.

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Ashley mengirim laporan medianya.
Angka kita melesat.

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Sudah terlambat. Tanda tangani saja.

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Tanda tangani...

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Maya! Hei!

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Kami tak melihatmu.

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Maaf kami bersuara keras, Sayang.

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-Hari kerja yang berat.
-Kalian bertengkar lagi?

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Jadi pasangan pahlawan super itu sulit.

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Kita milik dunia
dan hubungan kita lebih besar.

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Meski ingin sesuatu berbeda,
tak bisa kita dapat.

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Kita terperangkap. Menyesakkan.

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Kadang,

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hanya butuh sedikit kesabaran

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selagi kita mengatasi
trauma masa kecil yang menyakitkan.

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Namun, tak ada yang peduli...

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dan rumah menjadi
makam kosong keputusasaan.

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Kini aku pasti
ingin bercinta denganmu, Gerald.

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Baiklah.

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Selesaikan PR-mu
selagi Ibu coba membuat makan malam.

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-Bisa, Ibu?
-Bajingan ini.

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"Para teroris itu menguap,

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"teriakan ngeri mereka
bergema melalui pepohonan

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"saat darah mereka meresap
di salju yang murni."

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Tamat.

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Apa Ayah dan Ibu akan bercerai?

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Tidak! Tentu tidak, Sayang.

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Aku tak bodoh, Ayah.
Kalian selalu bertengkar.

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Mungkin kami suka bertengkar.

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Namun, kami masih saling mencintai.

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Apa pun yang terjadi,
kami akan selalu mencintaimu.

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Lihat? Ibu mau menciummu selamat malam.

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Semua baik-baik saja.

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Sayang, Ayah dan Ibu akan bercerai

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dan Gerald membelikanmu kuda poni.

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Selamat tidur.

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Ibu ada bekas luka bakar, jadi mau mandi.

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Terus kerjakan PR, Sayang.

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JALAN LEXINGTON 6616
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

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Persetan, enyah, tinggalkan pesan.

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Kotak pesan suara penuh.

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RUTE:

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Halo?

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Tn. Groundhawk.

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Ini hari liburku, Vought berengsek!

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Bukan dari Vought!

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Namaku Maya Nubian.

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-Kau anak kecil?
-Bukan kecil. Usiaku delapan tahun.

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Astaga. Jangan mengompol.
Pintu tak dikunci.

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Terkunci.

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Ya ampun.

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Awas matamu.

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Maaf, Nak. Tak pandai soal kenop pintu.

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-Kau dikirim orang tuamu?
-Tidak. Aku... butuh bantuanmu.

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Ya ampun.

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Baik, masuklah.

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Kau mau soda? Ini tak bisa
tampak buruk bagi siapa pun.

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Aku bukan pedofil. Bahkan tak punya jari.

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Aku bukan pedofil, Benjamin!

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Tempat ini jorok.

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Terima kasih, Nak.

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Ada apa dengan VS-5 milikmu?

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Aku punya masalah amarah.

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Kenapa kau kemari?
Aku harus kembali menatap kehampaan

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dan mencoba tak melukai diriku saat pipis.

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-Orang tuaku akan bercerai.
-Aku dengar.

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-Kau dengar?
-Sebenarnya, kami bekerja bersama.

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Kesan orang baik dan orang jahat itu

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hanya omong kosong
untuk menjual ransel dan kotak bekal.

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Pertarungan saat mereka bertemu?

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Semua sudah diatur.

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Itu palsu seperti aksen ayahmu.

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Vought bahkan menulis dialog kami.

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Dialogku konyol sekali.

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Aku tahu, Ibu menyimpan naskahnya.

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GROUNDHAWK: MANTAN PAHLAWAN
CINTA SEPERTI INI TAK BISA KALAH

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Tolong lawan mereka lagi
agar mereka ingat saling mencintai.

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Orang tuaku bercerai waktu aku seusiamu.

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Mereka berusaha,

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tetapi anak mereka bertangan palu

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dan terus melubangi rumah karavan jelek.

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Lebih baik bagi kami semua.

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Orang tuaku hanya bahagia
saat mereka bertarung.

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Maksudku, bersama.

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Mereka hanya bahagia
saat melawan penjahat bersama.

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-Ini waktu yang tepat.
-Jadi, kau mau?

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Maaf, Nak.

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-Kumohon. Akan kuberikan semua ini.
-Aku tak terima uangmu.

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Aku akan datang dan bukakan soda
kapan pun kau mau.

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Itu lebih parah.

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Aku harus beri tahu
semua orang kau pedofil

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dan memancingku kemari dengan VS-5 rusak.

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Sial. Sudah kuduga itu tampak buruk.

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Baiklah.

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Aku jelas tak ada kegiatan,

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dan tak bisa masturbasi,
jadi memecahkan kepala orang saja.

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LeBron James, kurasa.

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Kau ambil rumahnya, aku ambil mobilnya.

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Dana pensiunnya dibagi.

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Aku tak akan berikan Stingray itu

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agar kau bisa merangsang
bajingan Young American

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di jok sempit. Persetan.

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-Ibu! Ayah! Tolong!
-Maya?

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-Tolong aku!
-Maya!

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-Astaga! Maya!
-Apa-apaan?

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Letakkan Maya sekarang, Groundhawk.

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Aku muak akan ocehan kalian, Nubian.

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-Lawan aku!
-Apa?

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Kau bahkan tak masuk di musim ini.

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Lawan aku, Gerald,
atau kau butuh izin si jalang itu?

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Aku tak butuh izin istriku...

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Mau bertarung?
Baiklah, ayo dasar bajingan.

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Sial, apa kau...

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-Turun dan lawan aku!
-Kemari dan lawan aku, penis palu.

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Aku tak bisa.

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Kurasa aku harus turun dan menjemputnya.

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Terima kasih, Prince-ku.

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Ini hebat!

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Ya!

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Berhenti! Aku yang memintanya.
Kubilang akan menyebutnya pedofil!

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Dia pedofil?

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Seperti pria itu di 7th Heaven?
Aku jadi kacau.

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Sudah kuduga!

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Ya. Luar biasa.

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-Ya! Itu Prince-ku.
-Astaga.

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-Ya. Nubia-ku.
-Gerald!

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-Buatkan aku taco!
-Ya! Taco Selasa!

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Kau lupa beli kopi lagi?

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Sejak kapan itu jadi tugasku?

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Sejak kusuruh kau beli kopi kemarin.

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SURAT CERAI

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Sayang, itu surat cerai kami?

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Akan lebih baik bagi kita semua.

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Aku melihat kalian yang payah.

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Aku mau kuda poni itu.

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Terjemahan subtitle oleh Ellen Tjandra

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Supervisor Kreasi
Dameria Damayanti