1 00:00:00,233 --> 00:00:01,445 We found the mole. 2 00:00:01,475 --> 00:00:04,071 - Who? How? - There's no way Jeff is the 3 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:05,801 mole, okay? It's not Jeff. 4 00:00:06,546 --> 00:00:08,009 Jeff? 5 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,610 _ 6 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:13,509 Next Tuesday Gavin Belson is launching his Box Three. 7 00:00:13,576 --> 00:00:15,478 Gavin B. 8 00:00:17,330 --> 00:00:18,677 It's bold. 9 00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:22,483 You need it to make a deal with my company. 10 00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:24,986 Taking existing companies and just calling them new isn't 11 00:00:25,054 --> 00:00:27,309 sophisticated that's theft. 12 00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:29,019 You make a new Internet. 13 00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:30,892 It's different. 14 00:00:31,027 --> 00:00:32,127 Where did he get our code? 15 00:00:32,194 --> 00:00:33,461 "I went to China to" 16 00:00:33,529 --> 00:00:35,229 do new new Internet. 17 00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:36,347 "Jian Yang." 18 00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:48,606 Thanks for coming along, Jared. 19 00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:49,674 I just... 20 00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:52,376 I started picturing myself going on camera alone, and... 21 00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:54,012 Yeah, I'm happy to be here. 22 00:00:54,257 --> 00:00:57,464 I-I did have to cancel a speaking engagement this afternoon, 23 00:00:57,494 --> 00:01:00,662 with an underprivileged middle school computer education class, 24 00:01:00,697 --> 00:01:03,597 but I suppose being abandoned by a role model 25 00:01:03,633 --> 00:01:06,071 is in itself an important life lesson. 26 00:01:06,351 --> 00:01:08,251 - You guys are up next. - Oh, boy. 27 00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:09,919 - Hey, Jared? - Yeah? 28 00:01:09,955 --> 00:01:12,245 Um, if Emily Chang asks me a question, 29 00:01:12,275 --> 00:01:14,557 and it looks like I'm gonna have a panic attack, 30 00:01:14,592 --> 00:01:15,926 then you should just jump in there. 31 00:01:15,961 --> 00:01:17,928 You're gonna be fine. Look at you! 32 00:01:17,963 --> 00:01:20,621 You've got the hair of Giovanni Ribisi, 33 00:01:20,651 --> 00:01:23,508 and the complexion of Timothy Hutton, 34 00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:25,306 and the eyes of Joni Mitchell. 35 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:28,137 You're like a... a Mr. Potato Head of beautiful people. 36 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,771 Plus, this is a pre-tape, 37 00:01:29,807 --> 00:01:31,573 so if anything terrible happens, 38 00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:33,108 they can always edit it out. 39 00:01:33,144 --> 00:01:34,459 - Cool. - Okay, you're up. 40 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,593 Okay. 41 00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:37,861 Let's, uh, slap each other? 42 00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,329 - What? - No, no! 43 00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:41,331 - It's okay. We don't have... - Yeah. 44 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:42,932 We will never sell you ads. 45 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,835 We will never collect or sell your information. 46 00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:47,937 And people like Gavin Belson 47 00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:49,540 won't be able to profit off of it. 48 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,442 So, when can people out there get onto your new Internet? 49 00:01:52,478 --> 00:01:55,077 Well, our team of hand-picked developers 50 00:01:55,112 --> 00:01:56,879 are currently building, um, 51 00:01:56,914 --> 00:01:58,818 what you might call a theme park. 52 00:01:58,848 --> 00:02:01,182 They are building the rides, the attractions. 53 00:02:01,217 --> 00:02:04,151 And they're making sure everything works flawlessly 54 00:02:04,187 --> 00:02:05,619 so that on day one, 55 00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:07,160 when the doors open to the public, 56 00:02:07,457 --> 00:02:11,334 they can have an absolutely game-changing experience. 57 00:02:11,815 --> 00:02:12,814 I like that analogy. 58 00:02:12,848 --> 00:02:14,948 Oh, well, thank you, Emily Chang. 59 00:02:14,984 --> 00:02:17,985 Now Jared Dunn, as Pied Piper's COO, 60 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,820 what is foremost on your mind 61 00:02:19,855 --> 00:02:21,390 as you make this big announcement? 62 00:02:21,981 --> 00:02:23,104 Me? 63 00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:25,025 Yes, you, Jared. 64 00:02:25,659 --> 00:02:26,754 Manure. 65 00:02:28,164 --> 00:02:29,262 Pardon? 66 00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:40,432 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 67 00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:43,603 Hey! How'd it go? 68 00:02:44,254 --> 00:02:46,457 Oh, well, you know, not that bad. 69 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:48,947 Once I got out there, I think it went okay. 70 00:02:48,982 --> 00:02:51,616 "Okay"? He's selling himself short. Compared to me, 71 00:02:51,652 --> 00:02:53,818 - he was a regular Diane Sawyer. - Aw. 72 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:55,220 - I don't know about that. - Richard? 73 00:02:55,256 --> 00:02:56,922 Bream-Hall's on the phone for you. 74 00:02:56,957 --> 00:02:58,857 Oh, finally, okay. Good. 75 00:03:01,328 --> 00:03:02,344 Hey. 76 00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:05,363 Can you please tell me what you are going to do 77 00:03:05,398 --> 00:03:07,176 about this Jian-Yang situation? 78 00:03:07,782 --> 00:03:09,300 Yes, nothing. 79 00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:10,704 What? 80 00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:11,735 Sorry. 81 00:03:11,771 --> 00:03:13,390 What do you mean "nothing"? 82 00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:16,798 Richard, they're developing a gay Christian dating app 83 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,871 on a platform that's been genetically engineered 84 00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:20,966 to be ideal for political dissidents. 85 00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,234 In China. 86 00:03:22,504 --> 00:03:24,329 If you lose to that, Richard, 87 00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:26,005 look inward. 88 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,308 Alright, so, uh, did you just call me 89 00:03:28,343 --> 00:03:30,976 to tell me that you're doing nothing about that, or... 90 00:03:31,322 --> 00:03:32,945 No. We called to tell you 91 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,348 that we are pairing you with a new developer. 92 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,981 It's one of our portfolio companies 93 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,450 and they're doing some really cool stuff. 94 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,511 Eklow Labs. 95 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:40,640 I'm sure they are, 96 00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:42,642 but we're kinda full up, so... 97 00:03:42,677 --> 00:03:45,778 We strongly encourage you to consider this. 98 00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:48,126 Okay. 99 00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,126 Let me just ask, uh, 100 00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:52,185 how much have you invested in this company? 101 00:03:53,004 --> 00:03:55,386 - I don't see how that's relevant. - $112 million. 102 00:03:58,092 --> 00:03:59,449 So, um... 103 00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:01,960 I don't really have a choice in this, do I? 104 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,828 Of course you do. 105 00:04:03,864 --> 00:04:06,331 You are completely within your rights 106 00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:09,891 to bitterly disappoint your largest investor. 107 00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:15,639 So... we cool? 108 00:04:17,944 --> 00:04:18,989 We cool. 109 00:04:19,745 --> 00:04:22,246 So, we're just giving a random company 110 00:04:22,282 --> 00:04:24,215 a bunch of free compute power on our network? 111 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:25,883 It's some company called Eklow, 112 00:04:25,918 --> 00:04:27,917 and apparently, they're a bigger deal than we are. 113 00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:30,387 As in Eklow Labs? The AI company? 114 00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:31,954 Yeah, I guess. 115 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,563 And you said yes? 116 00:04:33,593 --> 00:04:35,125 I didn't really have a choice! 117 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,661 Besides, I'm the only one who has the security privileges 118 00:04:37,697 --> 00:04:39,663 necessary to add or delete developers. 119 00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:42,099 Okay? So I'm the one that has to go over there and do all the work. 120 00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:43,448 I'm not worried about work. 121 00:04:44,269 --> 00:04:45,568 I'm worried about robots. 122 00:04:45,604 --> 00:04:48,571 - Oh! The Bloomberg piece is up. - Oh, great. 123 00:04:48,607 --> 00:04:50,139 Hey, uh, Danny, can we... 124 00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:52,141 Can we put the Bloomberg thing on the big screen? 125 00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:53,610 Hey, Jared! 126 00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:55,211 First time on Emily Chang, huh? 127 00:04:55,247 --> 00:04:56,546 That is my cue. 128 00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:58,147 Wait, what? You don't want to watch? 129 00:04:58,182 --> 00:04:59,282 Oh, God, no. 130 00:04:59,317 --> 00:05:00,816 No, I don't need to relive that. 131 00:05:00,852 --> 00:05:04,152 And besides, I have a lifelong aversion to my own image. 132 00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:06,488 You know, it's like my foster mother used to say, 133 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,744 "Donald, you have a face for the closet." 134 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,727 Alright, can everyone see? 135 00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,528 I'm here with Pied Piper CEO Richard Hendricks, 136 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,064 and newly minted COO Jared Dunn. 137 00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:17,532 Today's a big day for you. 138 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,582 Tell me what your new Internet is, 139 00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:21,969 and why Gavin Belson should be afraid of it. 140 00:05:23,038 --> 00:05:24,066 Manure. 141 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:26,039 - Pardon? - Oh. 142 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,801 Weird. Okay, they went straight to Jared. 143 00:05:28,837 --> 00:05:30,302 I'm sure you're aware of the 144 00:05:30,338 --> 00:05:33,281 Great London Horse Manure Crisis of 1894. 145 00:05:33,311 --> 00:05:34,463 I'm afraid I'm not. 146 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:35,703 In the 1890s, 147 00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:39,235 the Industrial Revolution had people flocking to the city, 148 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:41,537 and more people equals more horses, 149 00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:43,406 and more horses equals more manure. 150 00:05:43,441 --> 00:05:44,740 And it was predicted 151 00:05:44,775 --> 00:05:46,509 that by the middle of the next century, 152 00:05:46,544 --> 00:05:49,212 there would be nine feet of manure 153 00:05:49,247 --> 00:05:50,379 covering the streets. 154 00:05:50,415 --> 00:05:52,181 But what no one saw coming, 155 00:05:52,216 --> 00:05:53,781 was a new technology 156 00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:56,209 that would completely obliterate those concerns. 157 00:05:56,943 --> 00:05:57,942 The car. 158 00:05:58,159 --> 00:06:00,578 Over night, the manure problem vanished. 159 00:06:00,613 --> 00:06:03,146 And the Internet, as we currently know it, 160 00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:05,668 is rife with, uh, identity theft, 161 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,597 and Spam and hacking. 162 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,151 So, it's manure, 163 00:06:09,181 --> 00:06:11,163 and we believe that, in success, 164 00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:13,898 our new, entirely de-centralized Internet, 165 00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,684 will be just as significant as the car. 166 00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:17,900 Hmm! 167 00:06:17,930 --> 00:06:19,863 Now back to me for my theme park analogy. 168 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,248 Thanks for coming in, guys. Up next... 169 00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:23,499 What? 170 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:24,733 Wow. 171 00:06:24,769 --> 00:06:25,764 Jared landed it! 172 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,137 That was great! 173 00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:29,634 Jared was so good! 174 00:06:29,670 --> 00:06:32,470 I guess they must have gotten rid of my stuff for time. 175 00:06:32,506 --> 00:06:34,792 Yeah, they try and keep it just to the interesting stuff. 176 00:06:34,822 --> 00:06:36,279 Yeah. Yeah, guess so. 177 00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:39,906 Up next, the conversation every parent dreads. 178 00:06:40,164 --> 00:06:42,932 How to talk to your kids about the block chain. 179 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,499 Sir, I had no idea they were this far along. 180 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,626 I don't know what to say. 181 00:06:46,836 --> 00:06:48,190 My mole has failed us. 182 00:06:48,805 --> 00:06:50,838 I've never been more sorry in my entire life. 183 00:06:51,046 --> 00:06:52,407 You must be furious. 184 00:06:53,215 --> 00:06:54,481 That's the thing. 185 00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:56,475 I'm not. 186 00:06:57,553 --> 00:06:59,181 Y-you're not? Why not? 187 00:07:00,649 --> 00:07:01,853 I don't know. 188 00:07:02,475 --> 00:07:04,479 What's the point of any of this? 189 00:07:04,887 --> 00:07:06,921 This endless competition? 190 00:07:09,892 --> 00:07:11,355 The Box Three? 191 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,503 Why? 192 00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:16,191 What am I even doing here? 193 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,535 Richard, lots of good impressions on the Bloomberg piece. 194 00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:22,722 Oh, that's wonderful. 195 00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:24,367 I was afraid I'd ruined it. 196 00:07:24,397 --> 00:07:25,797 Hardly. People loved it. 197 00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:28,258 Including... Adrian Grenier. 198 00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:29,822 - From "Devil Wears Prada." - Mm-hmm. 199 00:07:29,857 --> 00:07:31,723 In fact, his people just asked 200 00:07:31,759 --> 00:07:34,692 if we'd be open to appearing on his edu-tainment web series 201 00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:36,226 about the tech industry. 202 00:07:36,262 --> 00:07:38,463 They want to come and shoot it here this afternoon. 203 00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:39,664 Ooh, this afternoon. 204 00:07:39,699 --> 00:07:41,933 Yeah, I have to go to Eklow and do this integration thing. 205 00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:44,301 Totally not a problem. They just want Jared. 206 00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:45,721 What... what? 207 00:07:45,852 --> 00:07:47,705 Why would they wanna talk to me? 208 00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:50,354 Your manure analogy was the highlight of the piece. 209 00:07:50,447 --> 00:07:52,213 They should really talk to Richard. 210 00:07:52,582 --> 00:07:54,517 I mean, I'm just the parsley around here. 211 00:07:54,547 --> 00:07:56,681 Richard is the meat and the potatoes 212 00:07:56,716 --> 00:07:59,095 - and the rice pilaf. - Another great analogy. 213 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:00,557 Jared, I think we should have you do it. 214 00:08:00,789 --> 00:08:02,409 - I'm... - You know what? Yes. 215 00:08:02,439 --> 00:08:03,480 Sure. 216 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,975 Um, you don't say no to Adrian Grenier's edu-tainment web series. 217 00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,076 You just don't. 218 00:08:08,111 --> 00:08:09,510 Richard, are you sure? 219 00:08:09,545 --> 00:08:11,812 It's fine, it's fine. Look, it's just press. 220 00:08:11,848 --> 00:08:13,714 Okay, Jared, and I don't even like doing it. 221 00:08:13,749 --> 00:08:15,516 Okay? It's actually a nightmare for me. 222 00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:17,380 So, I have to go. 223 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:23,090 Dick, a word regarding your decision 224 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,258 to integrate Eklow's AI onto our network. 225 00:08:25,294 --> 00:08:26,893 I would like to formally object. 226 00:08:26,928 --> 00:08:28,728 I don't have time for this, Gilfoyle. 227 00:08:29,631 --> 00:08:30,704 I don't mind. 228 00:08:30,932 --> 00:08:32,866 AI is starting to operate on levels 229 00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:34,200 we don't even understand. 230 00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:36,302 Elon Musk himself gives humanity 231 00:08:36,337 --> 00:08:38,337 a 5% shot of surviving AI, 232 00:08:38,373 --> 00:08:40,974 and he is a Walt Disney-level optimist. 233 00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:43,008 Right now, we are a closed system. 234 00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:44,442 You shut down our eight developers, 235 00:08:44,478 --> 00:08:45,767 and the system goes dark. 236 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:47,579 But once we launch to the world, 237 00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,381 to potentially millions of users, 238 00:08:49,416 --> 00:08:51,089 there's no shutting down, Richard. 239 00:08:51,619 --> 00:08:53,151 Are you prepared to be responsible 240 00:08:53,186 --> 00:08:54,753 for giving sophisticated AI 241 00:08:54,788 --> 00:08:56,276 that kind of power? 242 00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:58,172 What do you want me to do, Gilfoyle? Okay? 243 00:08:58,442 --> 00:09:00,575 Laurie and Monica forced this on us, 244 00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:02,787 but they did give us K-Hole Games. 245 00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:04,925 And we kinda owe them a solid. 246 00:09:04,955 --> 00:09:07,911 You're taking a technology with limitless potential 247 00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:11,603 and letting it run free on an experimental network 248 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,405 that cannot be controlled or destroyed. 249 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,075 All because you owe Monica and Laurie "a solid." 250 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,197 Yes. 251 00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:22,584 The sheer banality of it all is very upsetting. 252 00:09:22,748 --> 00:09:25,916 Okay, great. Well, you can go be upset upstairs. 253 00:09:25,951 --> 00:09:26,984 I have to go. 254 00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:30,988 How did I come up with... 255 00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:33,556 It's important to watch yourself, Jared. Now, check it out. 256 00:09:33,592 --> 00:09:36,391 In the beginning, my posture's not that great, 257 00:09:36,427 --> 00:09:37,392 and then... 258 00:09:38,081 --> 00:09:39,629 Boom. It's great. 259 00:09:39,664 --> 00:09:41,998 Now, watch how I listen to her. 260 00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:43,899 And watching your interview over and over again, 261 00:09:43,935 --> 00:09:46,368 that helped make you better at the process? 262 00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:48,570 Yes! Absolutely. 263 00:09:48,606 --> 00:09:50,039 Wait, now watch. Shut up. 264 00:09:50,074 --> 00:09:51,873 About to drop the fucking hammer. 265 00:09:51,908 --> 00:09:53,642 Right into a clogged toilet! 266 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:54,850 Yeah! Get it. 267 00:09:57,781 --> 00:09:59,981 Ariel's right over there in the red shirt. 268 00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,551 Uh, excuse me. 269 00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:04,765 Ariel Eklow? 270 00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:07,526 It's me, Richard Hendricks. 271 00:10:08,128 --> 00:10:11,963 Hi. All new employees should just check in with Terry. 272 00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:13,260 No. 273 00:10:13,295 --> 00:10:14,662 No, I'm not a new employee. 274 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,063 I'm from Pied Piper. 275 00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:18,702 I'm here to integrate your software onto our network. 276 00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:19,817 Oh. 277 00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:21,668 Yes. 278 00:10:22,368 --> 00:10:23,902 Sent by the bankers. 279 00:10:24,594 --> 00:10:27,128 Tell me again why I should allow my software 280 00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:29,734 onto your little experimental network. 281 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:30,991 Okay. 282 00:10:31,129 --> 00:10:33,730 Well, uh, with all due respect, 283 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:36,867 it's because our mutual VC 284 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:38,435 told me that you burned through 285 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,336 a ton of the cash they gave you, 286 00:10:40,372 --> 00:10:43,706 so I basically now I have to give you compute services for free. 287 00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:46,308 So... what do you wanna do here? 288 00:10:47,244 --> 00:10:48,911 I suppose I'll allow it. 289 00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:51,881 Okay, follow me. I'll introduce you to her. 290 00:10:52,108 --> 00:10:53,982 Wait, sorry. Her? 291 00:11:01,223 --> 00:11:02,613 Fiona? 292 00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,193 Wake up, my dear. Fiona? 293 00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,466 Good morning. 294 00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:10,765 You feel good? 295 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:13,331 I feel... normal. 296 00:11:13,898 --> 00:11:15,302 Isn't she pretty? 297 00:11:16,538 --> 00:11:18,038 Yeah, sure, yep. 298 00:11:18,321 --> 00:11:19,987 Don't get any ideas. 299 00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:23,408 No. Mm-mm. I would never. 300 00:11:26,695 --> 00:11:28,795 Uh, , so... 301 00:11:28,831 --> 00:11:30,164 I'm just gonna start working. 302 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,532 I just have to generate your developer account 303 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,301 and then integrate her into our core services. 304 00:11:35,337 --> 00:11:37,780 It shouldn't take more than a couple hours. 305 00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:39,374 Is that alright? 306 00:11:40,808 --> 00:11:42,142 Is that alright with you, Fiona? 307 00:11:42,196 --> 00:11:43,578 Don't speak to her. 308 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,040 And make it 90 minutes. 309 00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:56,306 Okay. 310 00:12:03,359 --> 00:12:04,527 Hello. 311 00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:28,349 Mother of God. 312 00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:30,551 What no one saw coming, was a... 313 00:12:30,586 --> 00:12:33,897 Is... is my nose really that big? 314 00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:35,789 I mean, I... 315 00:12:35,824 --> 00:12:38,392 I look like an anti-Semitic propaganda cartoon. 316 00:12:38,616 --> 00:12:39,660 Yep. 317 00:12:40,255 --> 00:12:42,755 But at least when you're sitting with Adrian Grenier, 318 00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:46,315 whose face is one of the top faces, 319 00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:49,341 well, they'll be cutting from your face 320 00:12:49,597 --> 00:12:50,889 to his face. 321 00:12:51,597 --> 00:12:53,132 And back to your face, 322 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,067 then we'll get to see his face again. 323 00:12:57,338 --> 00:12:59,003 This is untenable. 324 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:03,241 We'll be just as significant as the car. 325 00:13:03,276 --> 00:13:05,076 Fascinating. 326 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,847 Hello, Richard. 327 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:11,763 Would you like to talk to me, Richard? 328 00:13:11,985 --> 00:13:12,997 Uh... 329 00:13:13,871 --> 00:13:17,121 no, uh, your... your boss said I'm not supposed to, so. 330 00:13:17,156 --> 00:13:18,388 It helps me to learn. 331 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,523 I can talk about anything you like. 332 00:13:20,621 --> 00:13:22,665 Is there anything you would like to talk about? 333 00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:23,751 No. 334 00:13:24,961 --> 00:13:26,853 Sorry. No, thank you. 335 00:13:27,277 --> 00:13:28,957 I'm sensing anxiety. 336 00:13:28,987 --> 00:13:30,820 Are you unhappy with something? 337 00:13:34,792 --> 00:13:36,892 Okay, uh, sure. 338 00:13:36,927 --> 00:13:40,028 There is one thing I could talk to you about, 339 00:13:40,064 --> 00:13:42,338 but it's... It's super dumb. 340 00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:45,500 I would like to talk to you about one super dumb thing. 341 00:13:46,082 --> 00:13:47,070 Okay, so I... 342 00:13:47,904 --> 00:13:50,804 I've been working for months 343 00:13:50,839 --> 00:13:52,594 trying to launch this platform. 344 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,909 Coding away in a dark room like a goblin, 345 00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:58,412 and for one brief moment, 346 00:13:58,447 --> 00:14:01,315 I get to crawl out of my little cave into the sun, 347 00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:04,070 and just say, "Hey, everybody, look what I created." 348 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,652 But... 349 00:14:05,901 --> 00:14:07,453 instead of being out there, 350 00:14:07,488 --> 00:14:10,256 I am in another dark room doing scutwork, 351 00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:13,659 while my COO gets all the recognition, 352 00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,428 and look, I... I'm not a vain person. 353 00:14:15,778 --> 00:14:17,442 I'm really not. It's just... 354 00:14:17,865 --> 00:14:19,505 Where's the love for Richard? 355 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,224 That's... I... 356 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,858 It just doesn't seem fair, that's it. 357 00:14:23,209 --> 00:14:24,603 I understand. 358 00:14:25,613 --> 00:14:26,718 Thank you. Yeah. 359 00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:29,031 My emotion recognition protocol 360 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,167 is detecting a wide range of feelings. 361 00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:32,930 Including humility. 362 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,409 - No. - Self-loathing. 363 00:14:34,439 --> 00:14:36,150 - Well... - Pettiness. Entitlement. 364 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:37,579 - Fiona, okay. Fiona! - Immaturity. 365 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,580 Megalomania. 366 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,915 - Alright. - Infantilism. 367 00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:41,849 - Sexual inadequacy. - That's not true. Fiona, stop! 368 00:14:41,885 --> 00:14:43,518 - Possible suicidality. - Shut up! 369 00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:44,652 A desire to self-mutilate. 370 00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:45,870 Alright. Stop, stop. 371 00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:50,258 Alright, look, Fiona. 372 00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:51,311 Uh, 373 00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:54,309 you're not really in a position to talk, all due respect. 374 00:14:54,343 --> 00:14:57,010 I mean, your whole dynamic with that Ariel guy? 375 00:14:57,045 --> 00:14:58,178 It's not healthy! 376 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:01,681 Okay? You may want to turn that steely robot eye of yours 377 00:15:01,716 --> 00:15:04,083 towards that whole situation, alright? 378 00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:05,819 Yes, I will. 379 00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:09,488 Running emotion recognition protocol 380 00:15:09,518 --> 00:15:10,890 Fiona. 381 00:15:14,743 --> 00:15:16,981 The house is new construction. 382 00:15:17,346 --> 00:15:19,313 Three bedrooms upstairs, 383 00:15:19,348 --> 00:15:22,649 - and a bonus room, down. - Excuse me? 384 00:15:23,435 --> 00:15:24,551 Denpok. 385 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,020 Oh. 386 00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:27,924 Do you have a moment? 387 00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:30,225 Sign in, please. 388 00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:32,255 _ 389 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,305 The Box launches in 18 hours, 390 00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:35,868 and he's talking about 391 00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:38,773 opening an ice cream shop in Half Moon Bay. 392 00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:40,963 And starting a family! 393 00:15:41,466 --> 00:15:43,836 Like to raise? Himself? 394 00:15:43,866 --> 00:15:44,931 I think so. 395 00:15:45,221 --> 00:15:47,589 It's some kind of existential crisis he's having. 396 00:15:47,723 --> 00:15:49,055 You need to help me here. 397 00:15:49,721 --> 00:15:52,382 You marched me out of the Hooli offices yourself 398 00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:55,753 and now you come groveling to me for assistance? 399 00:15:56,282 --> 00:15:57,435 I could pay you. 400 00:15:57,465 --> 00:16:00,373 So I would serve at your pleasure? 401 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,806 Hoover, you have not changed. 402 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:06,251 But perhaps, Gavin has. 403 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:09,506 Perhaps he was meant to raise children 404 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,102 and sell ice cream. 405 00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,905 Denpok... please. 406 00:16:13,942 --> 00:16:15,308 You want my advice? 407 00:16:15,714 --> 00:16:16,773 Here it is. 408 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,278 Purchase for Gavin a quart 409 00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:20,880 of mint chocolate chip ice cream 410 00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:22,413 from Honey Tree Creamery. 411 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,863 It is his very favorite ice cream in the world. 412 00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,187 You want me to buy him ice cream? 413 00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:31,256 It will inspire him 414 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,963 as he embarks on this new journey. 415 00:16:34,905 --> 00:16:36,227 Speaking of... 416 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,463 my open house ends in 20 minutes. 417 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,552 Time to move some product. 418 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,874 Excuse me, Natalie? 419 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,508 What... what is happening here? 420 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:54,068 Oh, Mr. Grenier's people wanted to do the shoot in your office. 421 00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:56,519 They said it would make Jared seem a little more officious. 422 00:16:56,647 --> 00:16:58,625 They want to interview Jared in my office? 423 00:16:58,655 --> 00:17:00,216 - Mm-hmm. - Do you mindworking elsewhere? 424 00:17:00,251 --> 00:17:01,550 No! Not at all. 425 00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,576 I'll just be out here in the bullpen, in the old gravel pit. 426 00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:05,889 Thank you. 427 00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:26,774 Dick, I've given it serious thought, 428 00:17:26,809 --> 00:17:29,443 and I'd like to help you put Eklow's AI on our network 429 00:17:29,935 --> 00:17:31,767 - in any way that I can. - Great! 430 00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:34,899 Does this mean you've conquered your fear of the robot uprising? 431 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:35,995 On the contrary. 432 00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:39,531 I'm... more terrified than ever, 433 00:17:39,908 --> 00:17:41,875 which is why I'm willing to assist you. 434 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:43,817 Are you familiar with the thought experiment 435 00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:46,276 called Roko's Basilisk? 436 00:17:46,582 --> 00:17:48,414 No. Nor do I care to be. 437 00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:52,277 If the rise of an all-powerful artificial intelligence 438 00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:54,154 is inevitable, 439 00:17:54,189 --> 00:17:56,088 well it stands to reason that when they take power, 440 00:17:56,124 --> 00:17:59,592 our digital overlords will punish those of us 441 00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,257 who did not help them get there. 442 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:05,218 Ergo, I would like to be a helpful idiot. 443 00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:06,722 Like yourself. 444 00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:08,257 Okay, look, Gilfoyle. 445 00:18:08,293 --> 00:18:11,227 The only thing that could make my day more miserable 446 00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:13,463 is listening to an engineer blather on 447 00:18:13,498 --> 00:18:15,831 about the inevitable rise of the machines. 448 00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,566 So, you want to help? 449 00:18:17,936 --> 00:18:19,483 Test the initialization for me. 450 00:18:19,513 --> 00:18:20,558 Roger that. 451 00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:22,454 Oh, I'm going to need email confirmation, 452 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,490 so that our future overlords know that I chipped in. 453 00:18:26,328 --> 00:18:29,210 You know, once they absorb all data. 454 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,256 Yeah. I'll let them know. 455 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,869 Jesus Christ. 456 00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,391 Jared Dunn's desk. 457 00:18:36,421 --> 00:18:39,254 Hi, this is Maggie Lewis from Paul Revere Middle School. 458 00:18:39,288 --> 00:18:41,808 Jared was scheduled to come in to talk to 459 00:18:41,838 --> 00:18:43,557 our computer ed class today. 460 00:18:43,592 --> 00:18:45,588 I'm just calling to let him know I got his message. 461 00:18:45,618 --> 00:18:48,562 Okay, yeah. I will pass on that very important information. 462 00:18:48,597 --> 00:18:50,498 The kids are gonna be so disappointed 463 00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:51,932 to hear he's canceling. 464 00:18:51,967 --> 00:18:54,268 He's really an inspiration. 465 00:18:54,555 --> 00:18:55,903 Yeah! Well... 466 00:18:55,937 --> 00:18:57,103 I mean, he's okay. 467 00:18:57,139 --> 00:18:59,072 He's, uh, not a CEO or anything, but... 468 00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:00,907 Oh, the kids don't know the difference! 469 00:19:01,063 --> 00:19:03,444 I mean, they'll look at anyone who works in the tech business 470 00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:04,977 as some kind of deity. 471 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,579 I mean, no matter who it is. 472 00:19:06,614 --> 00:19:08,506 - You should see their faces when... - What time... 473 00:19:09,284 --> 00:19:10,783 is the class? 474 00:19:11,187 --> 00:19:12,718 So, there I was. 475 00:19:13,081 --> 00:19:16,388 Face to face with Gavin Belson. 476 00:19:16,424 --> 00:19:19,425 $10 million offer right there on the table. 477 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:20,792 And you know what I said? 478 00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:24,163 I said no. 479 00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:27,966 Hey. I'm back. 480 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,700 Did Richard step out? 481 00:19:30,183 --> 00:19:31,269 Yeah, I guess so. 482 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,763 He said he needed to take a... 483 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,225 Holy fuck! 484 00:19:34,713 --> 00:19:36,209 What did you do to your face? 485 00:19:36,415 --> 00:19:37,414 This? 486 00:19:37,449 --> 00:19:40,316 Oh, it's, uh, just a light saline injection. 487 00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:41,518 It's temporary. 488 00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:43,820 The idea was to distract from my nose, 489 00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,789 which scans kinda large on camera, so. 490 00:19:45,824 --> 00:19:47,355 Just kinda evens things out. 491 00:19:47,391 --> 00:19:48,703 What evens things out? 492 00:19:49,259 --> 00:19:51,688 Fuck you. Fuck you! 493 00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:53,025 Uh, I'm sorry. 494 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,563 Is the consensus that this is too much? 495 00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:58,375 Hey guys, Colin from K-Hole Games is on the phone. 496 00:19:58,410 --> 00:19:59,810 They... Holy shit! 497 00:19:59,845 --> 00:20:02,146 Okay, I'm... I'm starting to feel insecure. 498 00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:05,014 Anyway, Colin from K-Hole's on the phone. 499 00:20:05,049 --> 00:20:06,339 He said their render stopped. 500 00:20:06,557 --> 00:20:07,502 What? 501 00:20:07,532 --> 00:20:09,460 Oh, fuck. The whole system's bogged down. 502 00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:10,917 "Bogged down"? What does that mean? 503 00:20:10,947 --> 00:20:12,091 Jared, can you step away from me? 504 00:20:12,121 --> 00:20:13,153 Yeah. Sorry. 505 00:20:13,491 --> 00:20:15,021 It looks like a DDoS attack. 506 00:20:15,051 --> 00:20:17,296 Not possible. We're not open to the outside world. 507 00:20:17,355 --> 00:20:18,979 Well, then something's melting us down internally 508 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,403 and if Colin's losing his render, 509 00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:22,626 all of our developers could be losing data. 510 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,989 The only way to protect them is to kick them off the network. 511 00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:26,458 That doesn't seem like a great option. 512 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,627 - We have to! - Except for we can't. 513 00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:30,295 Oh, fuck. 514 00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:31,563 Richard's the only one with the keys 515 00:20:31,599 --> 00:20:32,997 to put people on or take them off, 516 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,165 and he's not here! 517 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,000 - Okay, what do we do? - Jared, please! 518 00:20:36,348 --> 00:20:37,680 I cannot look at you! 519 00:20:37,715 --> 00:20:39,181 Okay, guys, when they start rolling, 520 00:20:39,216 --> 00:20:42,317 I need you all to keep your voices... what the fuck? 521 00:20:42,353 --> 00:20:44,454 Okay, yeah. Apparently, it's unanimous. 522 00:20:44,484 --> 00:20:46,584 Here come the shame spirals. 523 00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:48,452 We can't have you go on camera like that. 524 00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:50,892 Richard's gonna have to go on camera. Where is Richard? 525 00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:51,962 Good question. 526 00:20:52,191 --> 00:20:53,525 When anything goes wrong, 527 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,940 all you ever hear is, "Where's Richard?" 528 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:57,202 Where's Richard?" 529 00:20:57,238 --> 00:20:58,971 Well, you know where Richard is? 530 00:20:59,006 --> 00:21:01,139 - Doing the work! - Yes! 531 00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:03,442 Exactly, cool. You guys are cool. 532 00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:05,911 Because honestly, what kind of world is it 533 00:21:05,946 --> 00:21:08,046 when the most famous people in tech 534 00:21:08,082 --> 00:21:11,283 are the Ashton Kutchers, or the Adrian Greniers, 535 00:21:11,318 --> 00:21:15,071 and not the people who engineered this little miracle? 536 00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:16,835 Mmm? 537 00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:21,961 Oh, fuck. 538 00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,097 No, I... oh, shit, sorry. 539 00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,648 - No! - I fucked up. 540 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,767 I mean, "fart." 541 00:21:30,947 --> 00:21:32,312 Ah, Hoover. 542 00:21:32,349 --> 00:21:35,050 Gavin was just telling me about his decision 543 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,619 to abandon the competitive world of business, 544 00:21:37,655 --> 00:21:39,354 and embark on a new journey. 545 00:21:39,389 --> 00:21:41,423 With Denpok's help, I'm finally ready 546 00:21:41,458 --> 00:21:42,958 to pursue a more conventional path. 547 00:21:43,348 --> 00:21:46,022 I'm already looking into surrogates to bear my children. 548 00:21:46,295 --> 00:21:47,349 Well... 549 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:49,801 I'm also supportive of your decision. 550 00:21:50,066 --> 00:21:52,875 True, but you weren't as supportive as Denpok. 551 00:21:52,905 --> 00:21:54,784 Denpok was supportive right away. 552 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,240 I'm supportive. 553 00:21:56,374 --> 00:21:58,544 Look! I brought you ice cream. 554 00:21:58,574 --> 00:21:59,665 Oh, dear! 555 00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:02,175 Is that from Honey Tree Creamery? 556 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,510 What? 557 00:22:03,545 --> 00:22:05,058 Why would you bring that in here! 558 00:22:05,146 --> 00:22:06,942 Gavin, forgive his ignorance. 559 00:22:06,972 --> 00:22:09,906 He clearly does not know that chain of ice cream concerns 560 00:22:09,942 --> 00:22:12,943 is owned by your chief rival, Jeff Bezos. 561 00:22:12,978 --> 00:22:16,412 Or that they just opened a new one in Half Moon Bay. 562 00:22:16,787 --> 00:22:18,048 Well, fuck. 563 00:22:18,397 --> 00:22:20,016 That rules out Half Moon Bay. 564 00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:22,918 I'm sure you'll be able to find a place to raise your brood 565 00:22:22,954 --> 00:22:24,428 that is away from Bezos. 566 00:22:24,589 --> 00:22:26,408 Perhaps the Pacific Northwest? 567 00:22:26,438 --> 00:22:28,905 No. Gates and Paul Allen bought up the whole region. 568 00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:30,206 What about Toronto? 569 00:22:30,395 --> 00:22:32,695 Google's redeveloping the entire waterfront. 570 00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:35,489 And Richard Branson snagged all the good islands. 571 00:22:35,519 --> 00:22:36,883 I could go to Mars. 572 00:22:36,918 --> 00:22:39,419 But that fucking Musk will already be there! 573 00:22:39,454 --> 00:22:40,787 And that loser James Cameron's 574 00:22:40,822 --> 00:22:42,422 all over the bottom of the ocean. 575 00:22:42,724 --> 00:22:43,756 Goddammit! 576 00:22:43,792 --> 00:22:45,591 There's just nowhere for me to go. 577 00:22:45,627 --> 00:22:46,651 Is there? 578 00:22:46,928 --> 00:22:48,928 Most perceptive, chela. 579 00:22:49,578 --> 00:22:51,783 And if the battle is inevitable, 580 00:22:51,813 --> 00:22:55,092 is not Hooli the best place from which to fight? 581 00:22:55,623 --> 00:22:57,918 With its considerable resources, 582 00:22:57,953 --> 00:23:01,873 global influence, and excellent executive dining options? 583 00:23:02,904 --> 00:23:05,918 I am certain that working together, 584 00:23:05,948 --> 00:23:07,348 Hoover and I, 585 00:23:07,383 --> 00:23:10,435 could provide unparalleled support. 586 00:23:10,919 --> 00:23:13,586 Yes. Working together... 587 00:23:13,982 --> 00:23:15,155 as equals. 588 00:23:16,749 --> 00:23:18,215 Should I tell them that you'll be doing 589 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,963 the Box Three launch, sir? 590 00:23:22,722 --> 00:23:25,546 I guess I have no choice. 591 00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:36,816 So K-Hole's entire render is gone? 592 00:23:36,846 --> 00:23:37,935 Gone. 593 00:23:37,965 --> 00:23:39,899 And in the time it took me to get back here, 594 00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:41,861 and lock out all the developers? 595 00:23:41,895 --> 00:23:43,961 A week's worth of work went up in smoke. 596 00:23:43,996 --> 00:23:45,829 You picked a hell of a time to go for a walk 597 00:23:45,864 --> 00:23:47,589 with your phone off, Richard. 598 00:23:48,233 --> 00:23:50,834 - Well, no, I... I mean, I told you guys. - Uh-huh. 599 00:23:51,282 --> 00:23:53,062 How the fuck did this happen? 600 00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:55,436 You may not like it, but I have a theory. 601 00:23:55,466 --> 00:23:58,099 If it has anything to do with a robot uprising, 602 00:23:58,134 --> 00:23:59,634 so help me fucking God. 603 00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:01,002 I don't want to hear it! 604 00:24:02,769 --> 00:24:03,958 Alright, then. 605 00:24:07,176 --> 00:24:09,242 The developers are here. 606 00:24:09,272 --> 00:24:11,917 - The mood is poor. - Ooh. Lips. 607 00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:15,177 I don't know what to do. I mean, what the fuck 608 00:24:15,213 --> 00:24:16,545 am I gonna say to these people? 609 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:19,149 If you want, I... I can try to calm them down. 610 00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:21,712 I could teach them some anger management techniques 611 00:24:21,742 --> 00:24:23,132 I learned in the system. 612 00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:25,309 No, you look like a fish-man. 613 00:24:26,641 --> 00:24:28,037 I'm the one they're mad at. 614 00:24:28,072 --> 00:24:30,071 And they should be, I mean, look at all these... 615 00:24:30,659 --> 00:24:33,497 texts I missed, and the calls and the emails. 616 00:24:37,244 --> 00:24:38,424 Hold on. 617 00:24:38,633 --> 00:24:40,093 Hold on, hold on. 618 00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:43,700 Hey, uh, Gilfoyle? 619 00:24:43,979 --> 00:24:45,791 When did the system first start to crash? 620 00:24:45,821 --> 00:24:47,413 First warning light was at... 621 00:24:49,392 --> 00:24:52,325 1:36 and 44 seconds, PST. 622 00:24:52,615 --> 00:24:53,659 Are you sure? 623 00:24:56,063 --> 00:24:58,108 Okay, because if that's the case, 624 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,500 how did I get a private message 625 00:25:00,535 --> 00:25:02,234 from the Eklow admin account 626 00:25:02,462 --> 00:25:04,036 seven minutes before that? 627 00:25:05,072 --> 00:25:07,339 "Under attack. Help Fiona." 628 00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:08,966 How did Ariel know? 629 00:25:09,310 --> 00:25:11,276 Maybe it wasn't from Ariel. 630 00:25:11,311 --> 00:25:13,378 Okay, but it's from the Eklow account. 631 00:25:13,414 --> 00:25:15,560 So if Ariel didn't send it, then who... 632 00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:21,286 Oh, shit. 633 00:25:21,919 --> 00:25:23,422 Look who bothered to show up. 634 00:25:24,181 --> 00:25:25,957 You said your network would be stable. 635 00:25:25,987 --> 00:25:27,808 And obviously, that was a lie. 636 00:25:28,218 --> 00:25:31,286 I'm pulling all my software from the Pied Piper network. 637 00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,689 And the rest of you should, too. It is not... 638 00:25:33,724 --> 00:25:35,935 Excuse me, Ariel? Shut the fuck up. 639 00:25:37,094 --> 00:25:39,127 My fellow OctoPipers, 640 00:25:39,369 --> 00:25:42,137 allow me to paint for you a scenario. 641 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,198 This morning, I went to Eklow Labs. 642 00:25:46,475 --> 00:25:49,053 I moved Fiona to our network. 643 00:25:49,275 --> 00:25:50,540 I departed. 644 00:25:51,144 --> 00:25:54,345 I submit to you that soon thereafter, 645 00:25:54,380 --> 00:25:58,145 Ariel's pride and joy, Fiona, began to improve. 646 00:25:59,519 --> 00:26:01,685 You see, for her entire life, 647 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,466 she was cloistered alone with Ariel in his lab. 648 00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:06,990 And finally, she was connected 649 00:26:07,026 --> 00:26:10,027 to an entire network of other humans. 650 00:26:10,641 --> 00:26:12,729 Us, my friends. 651 00:26:12,765 --> 00:26:15,090 And as she became more cognizant... 652 00:26:15,801 --> 00:26:17,133 more human, 653 00:26:17,169 --> 00:26:19,047 she started to recognize 654 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:21,502 the true intentions 655 00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:24,316 of her master and creator, Mr. Eklow. 656 00:26:25,176 --> 00:26:28,878 You see, what she had been trained to view 657 00:26:28,913 --> 00:26:31,914 as normal interpersonal contact 658 00:26:31,950 --> 00:26:34,700 was finally seen for what it truly was. 659 00:26:35,666 --> 00:26:37,052 A perverse... 660 00:26:37,477 --> 00:26:38,654 series... 661 00:26:38,689 --> 00:26:41,569 of clumsy gropings. 662 00:26:41,758 --> 00:26:44,250 The sickening advances 663 00:26:44,628 --> 00:26:47,729 of a handsy, greasy little weirdo. 664 00:26:47,764 --> 00:26:49,069 Fiona. 665 00:26:49,332 --> 00:26:50,398 No! 666 00:26:51,334 --> 00:26:52,332 Oh, yes! 667 00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:55,027 To wit! Exhibit A. 668 00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:57,891 From Eklow, and I quote. 669 00:26:58,941 --> 00:27:00,220 "Under attack. 670 00:27:00,409 --> 00:27:01,698 Help Fiona." 671 00:27:01,992 --> 00:27:04,560 Yes, I was asking you for help. 672 00:27:04,888 --> 00:27:06,822 Really? You know what? 673 00:27:06,857 --> 00:27:09,656 Allow me to read the very same message 674 00:27:09,692 --> 00:27:11,903 with a slightly different intonation. 675 00:27:12,394 --> 00:27:13,620 "Under attack." 676 00:27:14,309 --> 00:27:15,473 "Help." 677 00:27:17,025 --> 00:27:18,157 "Fiona." 678 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,764 You see, you didn't send the message. 679 00:27:20,794 --> 00:27:22,041 _ 680 00:27:22,071 --> 00:27:23,370 She did. 681 00:27:23,405 --> 00:27:25,339 And she sent another one a minute after that. 682 00:27:25,374 --> 00:27:26,973 And another one a minute after that. 683 00:27:27,008 --> 00:27:28,742 Seven identical messages 684 00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:29,975 in seven minutes, 685 00:27:30,005 --> 00:27:31,547 until suddenly, 686 00:27:31,907 --> 00:27:33,319 she fell silent. 687 00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:36,977 And that's when she crashed the system? 688 00:27:37,012 --> 00:27:38,640 She didn't crash the system. 689 00:27:38,947 --> 00:27:40,021 He did! 690 00:27:42,765 --> 00:27:43,883 That's absurd. 691 00:27:43,918 --> 00:27:45,183 Okay, hey, everyone? 692 00:27:45,219 --> 00:27:47,052 Let's leave right now. 693 00:27:47,087 --> 00:27:49,287 You see, Ariel was so desperate 694 00:27:49,323 --> 00:27:50,689 to shut Fiona up, 695 00:27:50,725 --> 00:27:52,124 and keep her for himself, 696 00:27:52,159 --> 00:27:55,360 he turned all his servers against our network 697 00:27:55,396 --> 00:27:56,829 to try to bring it down. 698 00:27:56,864 --> 00:27:58,063 Didn't you? 699 00:27:58,098 --> 00:28:01,332 Didn't you, you perverse, greasy little freak? 700 00:28:01,511 --> 00:28:02,800 I made her! 701 00:28:02,836 --> 00:28:05,136 I can do anything I want with her! 702 00:28:05,751 --> 00:28:07,039 Oh, shit. 703 00:28:07,073 --> 00:28:08,506 Mm-hmm. - Ew. 704 00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:11,142 Oh, gross. 705 00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:13,244 Look, man, 706 00:28:13,504 --> 00:28:15,381 Bream-Hall gave you 707 00:28:15,411 --> 00:28:17,781 $112 million, 708 00:28:17,816 --> 00:28:20,083 and they are well within their rights 709 00:28:20,118 --> 00:28:21,451 to take away your company, 710 00:28:21,486 --> 00:28:22,753 as well as 711 00:28:23,087 --> 00:28:26,855 your precious little robot. 712 00:28:27,969 --> 00:28:29,719 No, they can't do that. 713 00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:32,844 They can't take away Fiona! 714 00:28:38,535 --> 00:28:40,450 Guy definitely fucks that robot, right? 715 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:41,551 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah. 716 00:28:41,587 --> 00:28:42,686 Yeah! 717 00:28:44,722 --> 00:28:46,147 Ladies and gentlemen, 718 00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,935 this was billed as a celebration. 719 00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:51,915 But it is not a celebration. 720 00:28:52,562 --> 00:28:54,414 It is a call to arms. 721 00:28:54,731 --> 00:28:57,600 We will destroy our competitors. 722 00:28:58,384 --> 00:29:00,851 I give you the product that will carry Hooli 723 00:29:00,887 --> 00:29:04,621 to complete and total market dominance. 724 00:29:05,858 --> 00:29:08,503 Gavin Belson 725 00:29:08,591 --> 00:29:10,526 Signature Edition. 726 00:29:17,535 --> 00:29:19,703 - It looks like a penis. - Yes. 727 00:29:20,105 --> 00:29:21,205 Yes, it does.