1 00:00:09,508 --> 00:00:08,166 Jian-Yang, are... are you copying 2 00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:07,916 all those companies for the Chinese markets? 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,375 Oh, no. 4 00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,208 Are you suggesting that 5 00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:15,916 someone in here is leaking info to Gavin Belson? 6 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,750 Tell me about these... fridges. 7 00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,292 It's a company secret. 8 00:00:19,292 --> 00:00:21,667 Do you want to save a fortune, or not? 9 00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:22,542 Well, yes. 10 00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:24,792 In exchange, I need you to do something for me, 11 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,000 with regard to the people who hacked your refrigerators. 12 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:28,916 I'm going to destroy their lives. 13 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,834 Jared, do you think it's... time we hire a COO? 14 00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:34,709 You're 20-30 pounds underweight. 15 00:00:34,709 --> 00:00:35,958 Don't worry about him. 16 00:00:35,958 --> 00:00:38,000 We're gonna find you a much better COO. 17 00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:39,792 You want the job? 18 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:43,292 All right... Ugh. All right. 19 00:00:50,958 --> 00:00:53,458 Okay, everybody, um, thanks for coming. 20 00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:54,792 Uh, sorry about the venue. 21 00:00:54,792 --> 00:00:57,292 We had a minor security issue. 22 00:00:57,292 --> 00:00:58,542 I didn't feel comfortable 23 00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,208 hosting you guys at... at our offices. 24 00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,083 But, hey, at least out here, 25 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,458 we don't run the risk 26 00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:05,458 of running into anyone from the tech industry. 27 00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,834 Yeah, they're all so old. 28 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,916 But they look so happy. Yeah. 29 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,417 It's weird. 30 00:01:11,417 --> 00:01:13,375 I don't understand it either. 31 00:01:13,375 --> 00:01:15,208 Anyway, I wanted you guys to meet, 32 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:18,166 because despite being a very diverse 33 00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:20,750 and talented group of young web developers... 34 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:23,875 Goodscape, huh? Social coding platform. 35 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,916 Tholio, analytics firm. 36 00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,584 Plucky, music streaming. 37 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:29,083 FirstSight, dating site. 38 00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:30,584 Gay dating site. 39 00:01:30,584 --> 00:01:33,250 Okay, technically, you're a dating site, 40 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,250 but specifically, a gay one. 41 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,375 Which is a subset, so I'm not wrong. 42 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:39,667 Anyway, uh, despite all our differences, 43 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,125 we all have one thing in common, right? 44 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,041 A signed agreement with me 45 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,584 to build and launch your websites, 46 00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:49,750 not on the tired, bloated, old web, 47 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:53,000 but on the new Internet of the future. 48 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,375 The Pipernet. 49 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,333 Which is why, from this day forward, 50 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,333 I'm going to be naming the eight of you... 51 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,916 the OctoPipers. 52 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,417 Until something better, TBD. 53 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,709 So when can we tell people? 54 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,125 Soon! Actually, very soon. 55 00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:11,709 Uh, next Tuesday, Gavin Belson is, uh... 56 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,208 launching his Box Three. 57 00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,208 So, um, the day before, 58 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:18,584 we are going to announce our partnerships with you all, 59 00:02:18,584 --> 00:02:20,083 and beat him to the punch. 60 00:02:20,083 --> 00:02:22,000 Shit. He's gonna be super pissed. 61 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,625 He's really gonna come after us. 62 00:02:23,625 --> 00:02:25,916 Yeah, he is, but fuck him. 63 00:02:25,916 --> 00:02:27,458 Not butt fuck him. 64 00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:29,375 Just... You don't have to explain 65 00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,417 that kinda stuff. I-I know what you mean. 66 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,292 Yeah, I know. Look... look. 67 00:02:33,292 --> 00:02:35,292 As long as we stick together, 68 00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:37,458 and support each other, we can crush him. 69 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,875 Because what we are doing is amazing, okay? 70 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:42,083 We are building the world's first truly open, 71 00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:45,166 truly free de-centralized Internet. 72 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:48,625 And I tell you what, I got a sneak preview for you guys, okay? 73 00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,292 Because as of this morning, 74 00:02:50,292 --> 00:02:53,500 messaging is live. What! 75 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,375 Cool. Yeah. 76 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,834 Really? So cool! 77 00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:58,417 So... 78 00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:00,667 right now, I will send to you all 79 00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,166 the very first message 80 00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:05,958 ever to be sent on a de-centralized, peer-to-peer Internet. 81 00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,667 Ready? 82 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,834 "Hit her." 83 00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:13,667 I don't get it. Are you talking about me? 84 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,000 I meant to say "Hi there." 85 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,333 Well, it definitely says "Hit her." 86 00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:19,166 I'll try it again. There's a new one. 87 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,792 There. "Hi there." 88 00:03:20,792 --> 00:03:22,709 "Hi there, Hitler." 89 00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:23,834 Goddammit. 90 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,041 Hey, Richard? 91 00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:27,333 You don't have any issue with us 92 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,834 being an exclusively gay site, do you? 93 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:30,834 What? No! 94 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,500 No, it's... it's totally cool. 95 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,542 Oh! Wait a minute, no, I don't mean you are anti-gay. 96 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,041 I mean the opposite. Like, are you worried 97 00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:38,958 that we're excluding straight people? 98 00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:40,208 Oh. I just remember you said, 99 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:42,625 you want your new Internet to be open for everybody, 100 00:03:42,625 --> 00:03:45,500 and, you know, I just want to make sure we're jibing with your vision. 101 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,000 Deedee, we are psyched to have you aboard. 102 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,333 Exclude all the straight people you want. 103 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,500 You sure? Yep. 104 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,458 Because we're not snobs about it. 105 00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,875 I mean, between you and me, 106 00:03:54,875 --> 00:03:56,041 I'm dreadfully boring. 107 00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:58,125 I might as well be straight myself. 108 00:03:58,125 --> 00:04:00,000 I've been with the same man for seven years. 109 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,458 I go to church every Sunday. 110 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,542 Look, it... it's all good. 111 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:05,333 FirstSight is a gay dating site. 112 00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:08,083 And... and I will sing it from the rooftops. 113 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,292 Alright, well, thank you, Richard. 114 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,542 I think this is gonna be great. 115 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,750 Cool. 116 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,667 Yeah. Okay. 117 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,584 Don't be weird. I didn't know what we'd be doing. 118 00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:22,834 So... 119 00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:24,667 everybody is very psyched. 120 00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:26,750 You know who else is psyched? I'll give you a hint. 121 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,709 They have four thumbs, and they are these two guys. 122 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:31,875 I am very excited. I am giddy! 123 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,584 Okay, what... what happened? 124 00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:35,584 We found the mole. 125 00:04:35,584 --> 00:04:36,875 What? Yeah. 126 00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:38,166 Who? How? 127 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:39,875 Good old-fashioned police work. 128 00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:43,041 I skimmed through all 40,000 of the staff's outgoing emails. 129 00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,584 Yeah? And in addition to learning 130 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,792 that we need to revise the office dating policy, 131 00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:49,417 because it is, essentially, the Olympic Village out there, 132 00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:51,500 I learned that someone has been sending 133 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,083 a number of encrypted messages 134 00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,375 but using Gilfoyle's purloined NSA tools... 135 00:04:55,375 --> 00:04:58,458 I can't hold this smile forever, Jared. Get to the good stuff. 136 00:04:58,458 --> 00:05:01,208 One of our coders has been sending info 137 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:02,750 straight to Hooli High Command. 138 00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:06,875 Wow. 139 00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:09,417 How the fuck did the mole get all this information? 140 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:13,292 By exploiting our most glaring weakness. 141 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:31,166 == Synced & corrected by MaxPayne == 142 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,916 No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong. 143 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,958 Okay? There's no way Jeff is the mole. 144 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:37,584 Okay? It's not Jeff. 145 00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:39,292 Right, Jeff? 146 00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,000 Jeff? 147 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:44,875 What about Dave & Buster's, Jeff? 148 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,041 What about that time I got a bullseye in Skee-Ball 149 00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,208 and yelled out, "Bazinga!" 150 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,834 And you said, "Okay." 151 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,875 You can't fake enthusiasm like that. 152 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,500 Well, I did. 153 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,208 You Judas. 154 00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,208 You cow-handed poltroon! 155 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,000 We... We thought you were a Stallion! 156 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,834 You're no Stallion. 157 00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,500 What is it with you guys and stallions? 158 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,667 What's with you being a rat fuck? 159 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,834 You signed a very aggressive Non-Disclosure Agreement... 160 00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,667 which you are in breach of. 161 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:14,667 Which means, we can fire you, obviously, 162 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:18,000 and then have you arrested, and thrown in jail. 163 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,417 But Gavin would then know we are on to you, 164 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:23,916 so here's the deal. 165 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,916 You're gonna come into the office every day, 166 00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,792 and sit down at your fucking workstation, 167 00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:29,542 and pretend like nothing's wrong. 168 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:30,750 Fine. 169 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,542 Uh, that was mine. 170 00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:37,000 Bummer. 171 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,041 "The irony is, the Internet, which we all use 172 00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:41,875 "to search for billions of things, 173 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:46,000 "has itself long been searching for something. 174 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,958 And here it is." 175 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,834 Okay, then I turn and gesture. 176 00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,875 "The Box Three. 177 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,916 Signature Edition." 178 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:02,417 Then I come back to the podium. 179 00:07:03,709 --> 00:07:05,333 "I put my name on this, 180 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,834 "because I personally stand behind 181 00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:12,834 "the new SAS-slash SSD-slash-NVMe drive bays, 182 00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:15,041 "the 24-core processors. 183 00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:20,584 "I stand behind the ECC DDR4 SD-RAM LR-DIMMs 184 00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:23,916 "and their exceptional reliability. 185 00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:25,916 Will you stand with me?" 186 00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:39,500 About the spotlight, should it be wider? 187 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,083 I had the same thought. As did I. 188 00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:42,916 I can speak with the technical team. Please. 189 00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,750 Any word from our mole at Pied Piper? 190 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,584 I'm confident that if there were anything to report, 191 00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:49,083 we'd have heard about it by now, sir. 192 00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,500 Alright! 193 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:53,041 I'm off to Jackson Hole for a couple of days to clear my mind, 194 00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:54,333 and center myself. 195 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,834 I'll be off the grid. Not to be disturbed for any reason. 196 00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,292 - Understood? - Absolutely. 197 00:07:58,292 --> 00:08:01,000 Is there anything else you'd like us to take care of? Oh. 198 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,750 The bear is sticky with honey. 199 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:03,958 See ya soon. 200 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:13,166 "The bear is sticky with honey." 201 00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:14,916 What does he mean by that? 202 00:08:14,916 --> 00:08:16,958 I don't know. 203 00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:18,958 Hello, Stallions. 204 00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:22,375 You continue to be the best of the best. 205 00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:24,625 I commend you. 206 00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:25,792 And then there's you. 207 00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,000 The anti-Stallion. 208 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,333 Move your hand off your fucking mouse, now. 209 00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:37,000 And I was going to take you to see BattleBots live with me, 210 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,333 but no longer... "friend." 211 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,542 Now who looks stupid? 212 00:08:42,709 --> 00:08:44,333 Yeah, so, um... 213 00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,792 our new developers just agreed to our terms, 214 00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:50,041 And are now officially on board. 215 00:08:50,041 --> 00:08:53,292 Richard is a master at getting consent. 216 00:08:53,292 --> 00:08:55,333 That's great news, guys. 217 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:56,667 Eight new partners. 218 00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:59,875 Yeah! Actually, we're calling them the OctoPipers. 219 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,542 Uh, until a better name comes along. 220 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:07,667 Just wanted to give that one its day in court. 221 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:10,125 Well, we have some more good news for you, Richard. 222 00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,125 You remember last year, 223 00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:13,041 Laurie and I funded K-Hole Games? 224 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:15,375 Largest independent gaming company in the Valley? 225 00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,375 Uh, yeah, of course! 226 00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:20,041 Um, actually, now that you... you bring them up, 227 00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,834 I-I didn't want to be too forward, 228 00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:23,709 but I was hoping that one day, 229 00:09:23,709 --> 00:09:26,542 we could talk to them about joining our 'net. 230 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,834 Well, what if I told you that day is today? 231 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:29,834 What? 232 00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:32,208 In addition to being business associates, 233 00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:34,667 the CEO and I take medically prescribed 234 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,542 and supervised MDMA together. 235 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,083 I'm taking it for severe post-partum depression. 236 00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:41,542 I do not know why he is taking it. 237 00:09:41,542 --> 00:09:43,750 Regardless, when I saw him yesterday, 238 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,542 he was quite euphoric about speaking to you regarding a deal. 239 00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:49,208 K-Hole? The creators of the game 240 00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:51,750 "Undead Sex Offender"? They're... they're huge. 241 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:55,417 Yeah! Yeah, partnering with a company of that size this early 242 00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:56,916 would put us months ahead. 243 00:09:56,916 --> 00:09:59,125 This is not a done deal. 244 00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:02,125 K-Hole is protective of its brand. 245 00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,584 They will want to speak to you 246 00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:05,333 regarding who else you are dealing with. 247 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,750 Okay, right, well, um... 248 00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:09,292 why don't I just bring the OctoPipers? 249 00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:12,375 New name to come, though it's pretty popular around here. 250 00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:15,834 Uh, they can talk to K-Hole. 251 00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:17,875 Tell them why they joined. 252 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:20,916 Allowing you to speak less? 253 00:10:20,916 --> 00:10:22,625 Good strategy. Alright. 254 00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,792 K-Hole will be expecting you this afternoon. 255 00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:27,375 Knock 'em dead, Richard. 256 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:31,792 Whatever you are doing, stop it now. 257 00:10:33,292 --> 00:10:36,458 Um, yeah. We're just... high-fiving. 258 00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,625 Bye. 259 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,125 K-Hole. I can't believe it! 260 00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,166 I'm bursting. I'm bursting! 261 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,208 Um, here, I printed driving directions. 262 00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,958 Oh, it's okay, I got my phone. 263 00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,125 Well, I have marked available bathrooms along the route. 264 00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:53,542 Okay, here we go. 265 00:10:53,542 --> 00:10:56,542 Richard, you never return my calls. 266 00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:59,125 You mean the hundreds of voicemails you've left 267 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,667 where you just called me a terrible CEO with no dick? 268 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,750 Yes! You're talking to other companies. 269 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:07,250 That is not public information. 270 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,375 I'm a part owner in Pied Piper. 271 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:12,292 You need to make a deal with my companies. 272 00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:14,834 You mean your incubator's spurious knock-offs 273 00:11:14,834 --> 00:11:17,041 of legitimate American businesses? 274 00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:20,333 "New Expedia," "New Snapchat," "New Zillow"? 275 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,750 But they're for Chinese market. 276 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,000 It's a very sophisticated strategy. 277 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,166 Okay, look, taking existing companies 278 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:30,542 and just calling them "new" isn't sophisticated. That's theft. 279 00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:32,375 You make a new Internet. 280 00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:35,625 That is different. 281 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,292 I... Look, we're not gonna make any deals 282 00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:39,208 with any of your companies, okay? 283 00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,208 Don't pick up. 284 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,458 Richard, hello. 285 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:50,667 It's Jian-Yang. 286 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,792 You are a shitty CEO. 287 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:59,625 As long as I own 10% of Pied Piper, 288 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,250 I will make chaos. 289 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,208 Okay. 290 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,958 I thought you hated that car. 291 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,500 Aviato car smells like a dead pig. 292 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:11,875 You're aware that Russ Hanneman urinated in that car, no? 293 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,208 This car? 294 00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:15,208 Mm-hmm. 295 00:12:18,584 --> 00:12:19,584 Uh... 296 00:12:19,584 --> 00:12:21,750 are you just gonna leave it here? Yes. 297 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,041 Well... 298 00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,250 looks like I have a reason to find 299 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,292 Pied Piper's official towing company. 300 00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:28,542 I'm gonna get some bids. 301 00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:29,916 Yeah, while you're at it, 302 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,292 see if you can find someone to bash that guy's face in. 303 00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:35,417 Uh, I-I can do some research. 304 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,625 Maybe turn your phone off during the meeting. 305 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,458 You're a shitty CEO! 306 00:12:51,542 --> 00:12:53,584 Thanks again, Colin, for having us. 307 00:12:53,584 --> 00:12:55,333 Uh, the fact that a company like yours 308 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,958 with such a pristine reputation it sitting down with us 309 00:12:57,958 --> 00:12:59,750 is, honestly, incredibly flattering. 310 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,916 It's cool. 311 00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:02,375 Ooh, wow. 312 00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,834 That'll be a closed casket. Yeah. 313 00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:06,333 Alright, well, we thought the best way 314 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,292 to introduce the Pipernet 315 00:13:07,292 --> 00:13:09,458 would be through the eight developers 316 00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:10,500 that have already signed on. 317 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,750 Who we are calling the OctoPipers. 318 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:14,958 That's dumb. 319 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:18,041 Um, anyway, let's introduce you to the group. 320 00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:20,834 Um, we've got a great analytics tool 321 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,625 by a former Google guru. 322 00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:24,458 Wish I'd have thought of that one. Cool. 323 00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:27,208 Uh, music streaming with an AI taste predictor 324 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:28,875 that is off the charts. 325 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:29,875 Good space. 326 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,375 Yes, and this handsome devil over here, 327 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:35,000 is creating a very promising gay dating site. 328 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,041 That's cool. Yeah, but don't worry, he's not snobby about it. 329 00:13:38,041 --> 00:13:39,333 He's actually pretty boring. 330 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:41,208 I don't mean that as an insult. Those are his words. 331 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:43,417 Long-term relationship. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. 332 00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,958 And him and his man go to church every Sunday. 333 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,750 So... 334 00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:50,083 loves Bible studies, right? 335 00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:52,458 Just a straight-up boring, ordinary guy, 336 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:53,625 but obviously not straight. 337 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:57,083 Very gay, and also a Christian, right? 338 00:13:58,458 --> 00:14:00,333 Okay, so, that went well. 339 00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:03,584 It started out a little weird, but things really picked up... Why did you do that? 340 00:14:03,584 --> 00:14:05,625 Why did you say that? Say what? 341 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,625 Richard, you just told a room full of tech people 342 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:08,958 that I'm a Christian. 343 00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:10,292 Oh. 344 00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:12,333 Okay, but... but you are, aren't you? 345 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,667 Yes, but I told you that in confidence. 346 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,458 I said "between you and me." 347 00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:19,125 I'm not openly Christian. 348 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:20,625 Thanks a lot, man. 349 00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,667 You just outed me. 350 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:24,125 Oh, I'm sorry, Deedee. I didn't... 351 00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:27,125 Okay, um, should we hug? 352 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,000 I can not make it weird this time. 353 00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:33,709 I'm... I'm sorry, Richard. 354 00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:35,542 You know that my default position 355 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,625 is blind support of whatever you do, but... 356 00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,000 this was not your best moment. 357 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,125 Guys, it can't be that big of a deal, right? 358 00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:43,375 Why should it be? 359 00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,166 America loves Christians. 360 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,250 Muslims are the enemy. 361 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:48,000 Well, that's true in most of America, 362 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,584 but not in Silicon Valley, sadly. 363 00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:53,417 "Sadly"? You can be openly polyamorous. 364 00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:55,542 And people here will call you brave. 365 00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:58,834 You can put micro-doses of LSD in your cereal, 366 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:00,542 and... and people will call you a pioneer. 367 00:15:00,542 --> 00:15:04,166 But the one thing you cannot be is a Christian. 368 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,208 I find their theology to be illegitimate, 369 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,458 and it's clear that they are the source 370 00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,500 of the majority of the world's problems. 371 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,916 But, fuck, Richard, even I wouldn't just... 372 00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:14,542 out a Christian like that. 373 00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:16,333 Yeah, it was kinda fucked up. 374 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:19,417 Cool man, thanks. 375 00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:22,083 Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to chime in. 376 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:23,750 Yeah, he's not, but... 377 00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:26,916 based on its merits, I'll allow that one. 378 00:15:26,916 --> 00:15:29,292 Guys, come on. 379 00:15:29,292 --> 00:15:30,750 It can't be that bad. 380 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:32,041 Richard! 381 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,292 What the fuck did you do over there? 382 00:15:34,292 --> 00:15:37,584 So I just got off the phone with Colin over at K-Hole, 383 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:39,125 and while he loves your tech, 384 00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,916 he's considering blowing up the deal. 385 00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:41,916 What? 386 00:15:41,916 --> 00:15:43,916 Just because one of my CEOs is Christian? 387 00:15:43,916 --> 00:15:45,750 It freaks people out in the Valley! 388 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,083 Okay, so what do you want me to do, Monica? 389 00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,834 You want me to drop Deedee just because he's Christian? 390 00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:53,542 The company's not Christian. It's gay... 391 00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,750 which is fine, right? 392 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,625 Yeah! No, that... that plays great. 393 00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:59,584 Look, cutting all ties to Deedee and FirstSight 394 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,125 will definitely send a strong message to Colin. 395 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,458 And it might be the only way. 396 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,958 Like killing somebody to prove you're not a narc, 397 00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:07,958 or showing a john your genitals 398 00:16:07,958 --> 00:16:09,834 to prove you're a legitimate male prostitute 399 00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,000 and not an undercover cop. 400 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,750 What? Because cops aren't allowed to do that. 401 00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,166 And worst case scenario, 402 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,000 the john walks off with a free peek. 403 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,458 Oh, that's the towing company. Excuse me. 404 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,208 Forget it. 405 00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,750 Monica, I'm not doing it. 406 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,958 I mean, I'm not dropping him. 407 00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:27,792 Alright. Fine. 408 00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:29,709 Fine. I-I will call Colin, 409 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,500 and try and smooth things over for you, 410 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,208 but you need to handle Deedee. 411 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,584 Okay, apologize for outing him, of course, 412 00:16:35,584 --> 00:16:38,417 but you need to make sure he keeps quiet about this. 413 00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:40,458 Alright, 'cause it's not just about losing K-Hole, 414 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,834 it's way worse than that. 415 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,083 Let's put it this way. 416 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:45,083 Would you want to go from being a rock band 417 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,667 to being... a Christian rock band? 418 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,208 Oh, shit. 419 00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:54,250 "The bear is sticky with honey." 420 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,417 Those were his exact words. 421 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:57,625 But what does that mean? 422 00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,333 Well, Gavin speaks in parables. 423 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:02,000 I think what Gavin is saying is... 424 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,542 "consider the bear." 425 00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:06,208 And all this pizazz is like the honey. 426 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,250 And it's become too sticky. 427 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,667 There's too much of it. It's all over him. 428 00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,584 Incorrect. No, see, the whole launch is the bear, 429 00:17:12,584 --> 00:17:14,333 and the honey is the pizazz. 430 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,083 The bear needs more pizazz. 431 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,750 The bear is ravenous for pizazz. 432 00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:20,083 You don't speak for Gavin. 433 00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:22,625 I don't need to. This is the word of Gavin. 434 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,417 Alright, forget it. 435 00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,125 You do it your way, I'll do it mine. Okay, fine. 436 00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:29,000 Gonna show you. Make it clear for all of you. Okay, follow me. 437 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,542 Well, congratulations on becoming 438 00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:33,709 Pied Piper's official towing company. 439 00:17:33,709 --> 00:17:35,375 Uh-huh, yeah, great. 440 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,500 So should I bill this to you, 441 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,916 or is Mr. Bighetti gonna take care of it? 442 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:41,750 "Bighetti"? It's registered under his name. 443 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,083 I'm sorry. Can I...? 444 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,875 Anyway, it was a mistake. 445 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:52,208 I'm sorry I outed you. 446 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:53,834 I just wish we could go back to normal. 447 00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:56,208 You know, just like, how things were. 448 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,625 A CEO and a gay CEO. 449 00:17:57,625 --> 00:17:59,542 I don't even know what normal is anymore, Richard. 450 00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:01,667 It's been such a crazy 24 hours, you know? 451 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:04,292 Gossip travels so fast in the Valley. 452 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,375 I'll be lucky if my parents ever talk to me again. 453 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:07,916 Your parents aren't Christian? 454 00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:09,166 I'm from Palo Alto. 455 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:12,166 You know, my dad says my lifestyle makes him sick. 456 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,667 He just wants his gay son back. 457 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,792 And he's okay with the gay part? 458 00:18:15,792 --> 00:18:17,417 He's gay. Oh. 459 00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:18,750 But the crazy part is, 460 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,542 when I finally got home and I got in bed, 461 00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:24,000 I had the soundest sleep I've had in years. 462 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,916 Exhaustion. No! Relief, Richard. 463 00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,417 I'm out, okay? 464 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:29,625 My nightmare's over. 465 00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:31,458 I don't ever have to go back in the closet again, 466 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:34,083 and I've got you to thank for it. 467 00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:37,083 Check it out. 468 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,417 Oh, oh, oh. 469 00:18:40,417 --> 00:18:41,667 You like it? 470 00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:44,834 It's good. I guess... maybe it's just a little busy? 471 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,875 Like, um, there's one word too many. 472 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,250 One word? Well, I like the gay part. 473 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:50,750 If anything, it could be more gay. 474 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:52,458 You should gay it up, 475 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,875 and then, I like the "proud" part. 476 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:56,083 It's just the... 477 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,916 Christian part. 478 00:18:57,916 --> 00:19:00,333 Look, Richard, this is great, 479 00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:03,417 because now I can be gay and a Christian. 480 00:19:03,417 --> 00:19:05,208 Or just be gay! 481 00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,125 You know, you could be a... a twink. 482 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,292 A bear, an otter. 483 00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:10,333 A circuit queen, a chub, a pup. 484 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,958 A gipster, a daddy chaser, 485 00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,417 a leatherman, a lady boy. 486 00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:14,667 You could be a Donald Duck, 487 00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:16,709 which is a gay guy who got kicked out of the Navy. 488 00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:17,916 Yeah, I... I know what it is. 489 00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,250 How do you know so many gay things? 490 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,625 I worked with a guy. 491 00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,667 Just... 492 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:25,958 don't be a Christian. 493 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,958 Wow. 494 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,125 After all you put me through, 495 00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:30,834 it turns out, you're biased too. 496 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,500 No! No, no, no! I'm not! 497 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,000 I swear to you I'm not. I'm chill AF. 498 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,208 It's just everybody else. 499 00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:39,500 Look, if you go Christian, I lose K-Hole games. 500 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,875 I cannot let that happen. I know it sucks. 501 00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,625 It's shitty, but it's the truth. 502 00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:46,041 I'm gonna make things easy for you, Richard. 503 00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:47,166 I'm out. 504 00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:50,417 Of the closet? No! 505 00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:52,292 The new Internet! 506 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,000 The Internet you said was gonna be... What was it? 507 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,542 "The first truly free and open Internet." 508 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:57,834 Open for everyone. 509 00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,208 Whatever happened to that, huh? 510 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,250 Nice place. 511 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,667 Oh, thanks, yeah. 512 00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:06,000 Oh, wow! That's a nice touch. 513 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,250 Yeah, thanks! 514 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,834 The Monterey Bay Aquarium was testing their sonar, 515 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,500 and found this thing, like, two miles under the ocean. 516 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,208 And I figure, Erlich and I already bought it, 517 00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,750 so I might as well hold onto it. 518 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,667 Plus, it weighs like 8,000 pounds, 519 00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,375 so I couldn't move it if I wanted to. 520 00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,709 Well, and it also kinda works as your mascot. 521 00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,208 Right? 'Cause of your name? 522 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:25,916 Oh, yeah, 'cause "Nelson." 523 00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:29,584 Oh, I meant because it's a big head. 524 00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,709 I guess that works, too. 525 00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:34,000 So, what's up, man? 526 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,292 Um, well, I wanted to ask you... 527 00:20:36,292 --> 00:20:38,292 Oh! Big Head! 528 00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:40,333 Now I get it. 529 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,208 Sorry. Is... is it possible 530 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,875 that the general partnership that you formed with Erlich 531 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,166 is still in effect? 532 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:48,041 Oh. No way. 533 00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:49,875 You definitely dissolved it? 534 00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,292 Yeah, my dad insisted. 535 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,208 I remember he filled out this whole form for me, 536 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,333 and made me sign it, 537 00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:56,792 mail it in and everything. 538 00:20:56,792 --> 00:20:59,875 Yeah, 'cause I... I remember I had the paperwork in one hand, 539 00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,208 and the menu for Mr. Chow's in the other. 540 00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:03,250 And then... 541 00:21:15,625 --> 00:21:17,000 Oh, no way! 542 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,625 Still have the paperwork. 543 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,750 Guess I must have sent the menu. 544 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:23,000 Big Head, this is great news. 545 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,166 Gavin? 546 00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,834 I think you're really going to love the changes 547 00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,292 that my team has made to the presentation. 548 00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:30,041 I think you might like ours even better. 549 00:21:30,041 --> 00:21:31,584 Sorry, what changes? 550 00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:32,834 We are presenting two paths, 551 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,083 and you alone will decide which one we walk, Gavin. 552 00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:36,584 What the fuck are you talking about? 553 00:21:36,584 --> 00:21:38,417 I thought the presentation was fine as it is. 554 00:21:38,417 --> 00:21:40,750 Wait. What? You did? 555 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,709 Goddammit! 556 00:21:42,709 --> 00:21:44,000 Why is this still here? 557 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,834 I said it was too sticky. 558 00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:48,000 Don't you listen to anything I say? 559 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:51,083 The bear... Sticky with honey. 560 00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:52,875 So what did you change? 561 00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,458 Uh, the spotlight. 562 00:21:54,458 --> 00:21:56,834 Yes! We're making it wider just like you asked. 563 00:21:56,834 --> 00:21:58,250 Good. 564 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,417 You know what? Let's show you to your dressing room. Yeah. 565 00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:02,125 And whenever you're ready, you let us know, 566 00:22:02,125 --> 00:22:03,292 we'll show you that spotlight, huh? 567 00:22:03,292 --> 00:22:05,584 - You're gonna love it. - We did it! 568 00:22:05,584 --> 00:22:07,916 We had to fly him in from Tucson, but we got the bear. 569 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:14,375 Gavin hates the bear. You failed! 570 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,166 Put everything back the way it was. 571 00:22:16,166 --> 00:22:18,292 And widen the spotlight! 572 00:22:18,292 --> 00:22:20,125 Guess what, asshole. 573 00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:21,792 Leon told me he wanted your ticket, 574 00:22:21,792 --> 00:22:24,834 'cause he wants to go see BattleBots with me. 575 00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,417 But then he remembered he actually had plans that night 576 00:22:28,417 --> 00:22:30,750 with a bunch of people, doesn't know what they're doing, 577 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:31,792 their plans are sort of fluid, 578 00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,834 plus, it's like friends from his old work, 579 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,625 so it'd be weird if I hung out with them. 580 00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:38,166 Anyway... 581 00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:41,458 looks like you and I are going to see BattleBots. 582 00:22:41,458 --> 00:22:42,875 You're going to hang out with me, 583 00:22:42,875 --> 00:22:44,667 and have fun, whether you like it or not. 584 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:47,667 And what goes best with BattleBots? 585 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,916 That's right. Chicken wings. 586 00:22:49,916 --> 00:22:53,875 That's why you get a sweet $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. 587 00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:56,792 Serves you right for fucking us over. 588 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,166 Wash your fucking hair. 589 00:22:59,875 --> 00:23:03,041 And you know what happens when I get drunk, Jeff? 590 00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:05,208 I get so sincere. 591 00:23:05,208 --> 00:23:06,792 It's really awkward. 592 00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,417 Fuck you, Jeff. 593 00:23:08,417 --> 00:23:10,041 Oh, um, can you drive? 594 00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:14,375 Well, I spoke to La Flamme, 595 00:23:14,375 --> 00:23:15,584 and it's official. 596 00:23:15,584 --> 00:23:18,333 Big Head is still legally Erlich's next of kin. 597 00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:21,333 So Jian-Yang's whole gambit was for naught. 598 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,542 Wow, really? 599 00:23:22,542 --> 00:23:25,250 Big Head owns Erlich's house, and 10% of Pied Piper. 600 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:27,958 I called the sheriff and started eviction proceedings. 601 00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:29,417 We're gonna get everything back. 602 00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:33,625 Oh, also, the, uh, OctoPipers are arriving for the meeting. 603 00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:35,916 It's a good thing that FirstSight dropped out, right? 604 00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:37,667 'Cause we're back down to eight developers, 605 00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:39,166 so you can keep that name. 606 00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:41,542 Actually, uh, no, we can't. 607 00:23:43,083 --> 00:23:44,625 Wait, what? 608 00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,834 I'm glad this worked out. Yeah. 609 00:23:46,834 --> 00:23:48,083 Thanks for dropping FirstSight. 610 00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:50,333 Jesus, my board would have nailed me to a cross. 611 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:54,166 Well, I think we're just about ready to get going here, uh... 612 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,250 Oh. Hey! 613 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,584 Oh, good, there he is. What's he doing here? 614 00:23:57,584 --> 00:24:02,417 He is here because I asked him to be. 615 00:24:02,417 --> 00:24:04,083 I want him to be one of our developers. 616 00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:06,417 What? No! Fuck that guy! 617 00:24:06,417 --> 00:24:07,875 Hey, man, how's it goin'? 618 00:24:07,875 --> 00:24:09,292 Richard. Deedee. 619 00:24:09,292 --> 00:24:10,584 Can I talk to you? Yeah! 620 00:24:10,584 --> 00:24:12,250 No, no, no. Actually, look! 621 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,083 Look, guys, I... 622 00:24:14,083 --> 00:24:16,750 I asked you to be a part of this 623 00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:20,250 because I thought you were willing to take a chance 624 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,709 on my idea. 625 00:24:21,709 --> 00:24:23,584 An entirely new Internet. 626 00:24:23,584 --> 00:24:25,542 An Internet that is everything 627 00:24:25,542 --> 00:24:28,375 the old Internet is supposed to be, but isn't. 628 00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:30,709 Truly free and truly open. 629 00:24:30,709 --> 00:24:32,292 Well, I'm sorry, gang. 630 00:24:32,292 --> 00:24:35,458 Truly open means "open to everyone." 631 00:24:35,458 --> 00:24:38,375 No matter how repugnant their views are. 632 00:24:38,375 --> 00:24:40,292 How ignorant or stupid, 633 00:24:40,292 --> 00:24:42,500 or, to be honest, totally fucking wrong. 634 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,458 And, look, who are we to judge, right? 635 00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:45,916 There's some people out there that believe 636 00:24:45,916 --> 00:24:47,916 that we're living in a computer simulation. 637 00:24:47,916 --> 00:24:49,958 Well, that is supported by the evidence. 638 00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:52,041 What? 639 00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:54,208 Uh, it's basic probability theory. 640 00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:57,584 Right, uh, Richard, can I talk to you for just a sec? Yes, of course. 641 00:24:58,792 --> 00:25:01,166 Uh, that's bullshit actually. 642 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,250 It's been disproven. 643 00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,584 But why does that even matter? 644 00:25:03,584 --> 00:25:05,834 In a few years, we'll all be working for robots. 645 00:25:05,834 --> 00:25:07,292 No, that's stupid. 646 00:25:07,292 --> 00:25:08,625 The robots will be working for us. 647 00:25:08,625 --> 00:25:10,458 Robots? Who gives a fuck about robots? 648 00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:12,875 It's the artificial super intelligence we should be worried about. 649 00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:14,458 Exactly, and that's why we have to stop it. 650 00:25:14,458 --> 00:25:16,625 Stop it? No, that's the us I'm talking about. 651 00:25:16,625 --> 00:25:18,500 We have to bring it into existence. 652 00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,375 Otherwise, it'll find out who didn't believe in it, and punish them. 653 00:25:21,375 --> 00:25:23,625 Right. Guys, I was wrong. 654 00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:26,166 Um, Deedee is... 655 00:25:26,166 --> 00:25:29,375 not in. He's actually very much out. 656 00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:30,709 So... 657 00:25:30,709 --> 00:25:33,250 do-over on the whole speech. 658 00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:34,625 Fuck that guy! 659 00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:36,000 Christians suck! 660 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,834 And, uh, here's a good side effect though. 661 00:25:38,834 --> 00:25:40,875 Uh, we all get to keep the name OctoPipers. 662 00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:46,584 You know what? Why don't we just take a quick five? 663 00:25:46,584 --> 00:25:48,709 And then, we'll BRB, 664 00:25:48,709 --> 00:25:50,417 and then, go teams. 665 00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:52,417 So just... let's have a... 666 00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:57,542 What just happened? 667 00:25:57,542 --> 00:25:59,542 Deedee's out? 668 00:25:59,542 --> 00:26:01,417 Yeah, well, he said 669 00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,875 that right after he bailed on us, 670 00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:07,041 he went out and made a deal with our competitor. 671 00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:11,208 But we don't have any competitors. Richard? 672 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,166 Fuckin' Jian-Yang. 673 00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,375 I'm gonna tear him a new asshole. 674 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:20,333 It wasn't enough to do New Snapchat or New Expedia, 675 00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,208 he had to do New Pied Piper too? 676 00:26:22,208 --> 00:26:23,667 Where did he get our code? 677 00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,584 He was always stealing snacks from the office. 678 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,292 He could've lifted it from anywhere. 679 00:26:27,292 --> 00:26:29,709 I guess that's what happened to my lavender cheese. 680 00:26:29,709 --> 00:26:32,083 Jian-Yang! Open up! 681 00:26:37,375 --> 00:26:38,709 What the fuck? 682 00:26:38,709 --> 00:26:41,584 Why does every home I've ever loved get stripped? 683 00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:45,250 Is that Erlich in the bucket? 684 00:26:52,417 --> 00:26:53,584 Uh... 685 00:26:53,584 --> 00:26:54,916 "Richard... 686 00:26:54,916 --> 00:26:58,958 "Hello, I went to China to do new new Internet. 687 00:27:01,584 --> 00:27:04,166 "Thank you. Enjoy your house. 688 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:05,625 "I love you. 689 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,292 Jian-Yang." 690 00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:24,041 I'm here with Pied Piper CEO Richard Hendricks, 691 00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:26,000 and newly minted COO Jared Dunn. 692 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,041 Tell me what your new internet is, 693 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:30,333 and why Gavin Belson should be afraid of it. 694 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,709 - Manure? - Pardon? 695 00:28:34,417 --> 00:28:36,625 Sir, I had no idea they were this far along. 696 00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:37,667 You must be furious. 697 00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:39,166 That's the thing. 698 00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:41,041 I'm not. 699 00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:44,834 So, we're just giving a random company 700 00:28:44,834 --> 00:28:46,916 a bunch of free compute power on our network? 701 00:28:46,916 --> 00:28:48,542 Some company called Eklow. 702 00:28:48,542 --> 00:28:49,667 The AI company? 703 00:28:49,667 --> 00:28:52,000 Follow me, I'll introduce you to her. 704 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,041 Sorry... Her? 705 00:28:54,041 --> 00:28:55,041 Fiona. 706 00:28:56,041 --> 00:28:58,208 - Good morning. - Isn't she pretty? 707 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:02,375 Yeah, sure. Yep.