1 00:00:04,491 --> 00:00:05,928 Alright, let's do an exercise. 2 00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:07,424 You can build anything in the 3 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,640 world you want with your compression. 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,054 What's it going to be? Three, two, one, go! 5 00:00:10,054 --> 00:00:12,312 - A new Internet. - What? Why? 6 00:00:14,629 --> 00:00:15,897 I am your lead investor; 7 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:18,709 - You will respect me as such. - I do not respect you because 8 00:00:18,776 --> 00:00:20,083 you are fat and poor. 9 00:00:20,785 --> 00:00:22,187 So you're telling me that the 10 00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:25,323 perfect application of my algorithm belongs to Gavin 11 00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:27,443 Fucking Belson. 12 00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:33,885 We need his patent and his funding. 13 00:00:33,928 --> 00:00:36,169 Eventually this will render 14 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:39,138 - every server obsolete. - Holy shit. 15 00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:41,406 Welcome to the future, Gavin. 16 00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:43,074 Whoa. Hold it. 17 00:00:43,142 --> 00:00:45,344 - Oh no! - Son of a bitch! 18 00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:48,447 I have spoken to our top LPs to start a new firm. 19 00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:51,283 Would you care to jump ship with me? 20 00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,642 You are, after all, my best friend. 21 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,937 What? 22 00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:59,212 Gavin just fucked off to go 23 00:00:59,212 --> 00:01:02,055 - find himself who knows where. - What is it? 24 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,284 It's the patent. He just signed over full ownership to me. 25 00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:07,071 There is a loud man here to see you. 26 00:01:07,096 --> 00:01:08,809 Kendo in the house. 27 00:01:08,853 --> 00:01:10,987 Are you fucking kidding me? 28 00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:13,813 _ 29 00:01:13,837 --> 00:01:15,837 _ 30 00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:21,872 Welcome home, and congratulations on getting your business back. 31 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,327 Thank you, and I should congratulate you on your breakthrough. 32 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,352 I can help you get where you want to go. 33 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,941 I'm pretty sure I know where I want to go and how to get there. 34 00:01:28,966 --> 00:01:30,967 I shall look forward to the fight. 35 00:01:34,604 --> 00:01:36,773 Jesus! What the hell did he order? 36 00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:40,879 No, no! No, no, no! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! 37 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,101 _ 38 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,873 Oh my God. 39 00:01:57,908 --> 00:01:59,308 These are our new offices? 40 00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:01,043 Yeah. Well, this is just the lobby. 41 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,479 We're up there on the second floor, but yup. 42 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,114 These are so nice. 43 00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:07,849 There's a fireplace. 44 00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:11,887 Oh! I am a sucker for an intuitive kitchen layout. 45 00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:14,556 Follow me, right up here. Trust me, you're gonna love it. 46 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:16,825 It's hard to believe your pathological inability 47 00:02:16,861 --> 00:02:19,628 to make a decision finally paid off. 48 00:02:19,663 --> 00:02:22,731 Wow. Richard, well done. 49 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,802 Dude! Look at this place, huh? 50 00:02:26,837 --> 00:02:29,437 Oh, I love it. 51 00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:31,383 So, when do these guys move out? 52 00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:33,116 Oh, no, this isn't our space. 53 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,506 Our sublease is straight through here. 54 00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:38,530 Okay. 55 00:02:39,236 --> 00:02:40,586 I welcome you 56 00:02:40,611 --> 00:02:43,414 to Pied Piper's new home. 57 00:02:44,148 --> 00:02:46,358 Huh? 58 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,629 Hoo-hoo-hoo! 59 00:02:50,102 --> 00:02:51,901 It's... it's very white. 60 00:02:51,937 --> 00:02:53,970 Yeah, it's minimalist, you know? 61 00:02:54,005 --> 00:02:56,106 Sharp, clean lines. 62 00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:58,875 I was thinking about maybe putting my desk here in this corner. 63 00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:01,211 Jared, you over here, right? 64 00:03:01,246 --> 00:03:04,214 Dinesh, Gilfoyle, maybe up against this wall or over there. 65 00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:06,516 You know, just take a minute, walk around the space, 66 00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:08,485 see where the mojo takes you. 67 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,387 I mean, we've got some good feng shui in here. 68 00:03:10,422 --> 00:03:12,718 Really good. 69 00:03:14,325 --> 00:03:17,960 Richard, the plan was to hire 15 coders 70 00:03:17,995 --> 00:03:20,996 and some assistants and... and other staff. 71 00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:23,332 Where exactly would we put them? 72 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,449 Easy. Right around here. 73 00:03:26,555 --> 00:03:29,138 Look, guys... the price 74 00:03:29,307 --> 00:03:31,740 is unbelievable. 75 00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:35,144 I'm just happy that we got to it when we did before anyone else. 76 00:03:35,179 --> 00:03:38,296 I... I emphatically vote that we move on this 77 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,349 now, if we all agree. 78 00:03:40,384 --> 00:03:42,851 I mean, we do agree, right? 79 00:03:44,955 --> 00:03:47,789 I cannot put this delicately, so... 80 00:03:47,825 --> 00:03:50,158 Are you fucking kidding me, dude? 81 00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:51,927 You want us to work in here? 82 00:03:51,962 --> 00:03:54,529 This is a fucking black site, Richard! 83 00:03:54,564 --> 00:03:56,431 A black site would actually be better, 84 00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:59,467 because at least we'd be protected by the Geneva Convention. 85 00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:01,637 This is fucking with my eyes. Can I get outta here? 86 00:04:01,672 --> 00:04:04,806 Okay, ha... hang on. Richard, can I talk to you 87 00:04:04,842 --> 00:04:07,242 - for one second, please, privately? - Sure. 88 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,806 - Ah! - See? Plenty of outlets. 89 00:04:12,582 --> 00:04:14,819 Richard... what are you doing? 90 00:04:15,683 --> 00:04:19,554 We can easily afford a place with windows and... air 91 00:04:19,589 --> 00:04:22,557 where you can maintain a connection to time and space. 92 00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:26,149 If... if we spend all that money, it's gone. 93 00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:28,463 Okay, don't you remember Jack Barker 94 00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:30,665 squandering all our runway for those fancy offices 95 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:34,101 or Russ Hanneman spending nearly every cent we had on fucking swag? 96 00:04:34,137 --> 00:04:37,305 I'm sorry, man, we do not get another chance. 97 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:38,540 This is it. 98 00:04:38,575 --> 00:04:40,141 There is no point whispering. 99 00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:43,645 We can hear every fucking word you say in this sweatbox. 100 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,613 I can hear you gulping, Richard. 101 00:04:45,882 --> 00:04:47,883 No, you can't. 102 00:04:49,052 --> 00:04:51,619 Richard, it is my firm opinion 103 00:04:51,655 --> 00:04:54,121 that if we were to take this space, 104 00:04:54,157 --> 00:04:56,123 our new hires wouldn't be coding, 105 00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:57,857 they would be having panic attacks. 106 00:04:57,893 --> 00:05:01,195 No, come on. I'm doing a really good job of hiding it, 107 00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:04,030 but I'm having one right now. 108 00:05:06,735 --> 00:05:08,502 I gotta get the fuck outta here. 109 00:05:08,915 --> 00:05:11,285 - Jared, you okay? - I will not be back. 110 00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:14,174 Wait, guys, hold on. Jared, I'm gonna get you some water, okay? 111 00:05:24,463 --> 00:05:26,463 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 112 00:05:30,525 --> 00:05:32,958 Okay, what about this guy, Chris Berger? 113 00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:34,360 He's a very skilled engineer. 114 00:05:34,395 --> 00:05:37,363 He was very funny when we met with him. I think he'd be great. 115 00:05:37,398 --> 00:05:39,673 He was oddly tall, don't you think? 116 00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:41,534 Yeah, pass. 117 00:05:41,569 --> 00:05:44,670 Alright, what about Blake Kang? 118 00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:46,924 His beard hair looked like head hair. 119 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,235 And his head hair looked like beard hair. 120 00:05:49,235 --> 00:05:52,127 Come on! It's been a fucking month. 121 00:05:52,532 --> 00:05:55,299 I got us these expensive-ass offices 122 00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:59,170 because you wanted them, and now they're just sitting here, empty, 123 00:05:59,529 --> 00:06:01,326 because you guys won't agree on anyone. 124 00:06:01,753 --> 00:06:04,307 Look, I'm going to be seeing Laurie Bream 125 00:06:04,307 --> 00:06:07,541 at this stupid Innovation Hall of Fame event tonight, 126 00:06:07,577 --> 00:06:10,645 and she's gonna ask how hiring is going. 127 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,781 She's 11 months pregnant and highly irritable. 128 00:06:13,816 --> 00:06:14,982 What am I going to tell her? 129 00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:17,017 That we've just been dicking around the whole time? 130 00:06:17,052 --> 00:06:19,487 - We're not dicking around. - Really? 131 00:06:19,997 --> 00:06:21,221 What about this? 132 00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:22,290 Touché. 133 00:06:22,325 --> 00:06:25,293 He sent in a professional headshot. We had no choice. 134 00:06:25,328 --> 00:06:27,364 Plus his face looks like a taint. 135 00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:29,263 Okay, yeah, fair. 136 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:32,178 But look, I sent you 137 00:06:32,203 --> 00:06:33,934 63 good people. 138 00:06:33,969 --> 00:06:37,604 I spared you kilt guy, openly alt-right guy, 139 00:06:37,639 --> 00:06:39,205 obviously closeted alt-right guy, 140 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,741 and the guy with the stupid fucking pizza app. 141 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:45,211 It was so lame, it would somehow make you hate pizza. 142 00:06:45,828 --> 00:06:48,482 - You have to choose. - Dude, it's easy for you to say. 143 00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:50,983 You're gonna be off CEO'ing, going to fancy galas. 144 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,603 We're the ones who have to like be 145 00:06:52,628 --> 00:06:54,421 in the engine room with these clowns. 146 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,155 They have to meet our rigorous standards. 147 00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:58,057 I mean, look at the three we've already hired. 148 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,628 - Just look at them. - There they are. 149 00:07:04,566 --> 00:07:05,898 Stallions. 150 00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:09,435 Each one more magnificent than the last. 151 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,502 Perfect. 152 00:07:10,538 --> 00:07:13,104 Yeah, they're glorious, obviously, 153 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:15,541 but that's only three of them, 154 00:07:15,576 --> 00:07:18,711 and they're luxuriating here in this huge fucking palace 155 00:07:18,746 --> 00:07:20,323 that is costing us a fortune, 156 00:07:20,348 --> 00:07:22,715 so hurry up and pick these fucking coders, 157 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:25,617 and stop acting like a couple of spoiled millionaires. 158 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,685 Alright, Richard, 159 00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:29,888 your tuxedo is pressed and ready for the gala. 160 00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:32,491 I put a touch of mint in the steamer. 161 00:07:32,526 --> 00:07:35,394 You're gonna look like Richard Gere from "Pretty Woman." 162 00:07:35,429 --> 00:07:38,864 Maybe tonight you'll fall for a radiant sex worker. 163 00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:44,935 During my sabbatical from Hooli, 164 00:07:44,971 --> 00:07:48,473 I toured the wonders of the world, seeking inspiration 165 00:07:48,508 --> 00:07:50,771 from mankind's greatest achievements... 166 00:07:50,997 --> 00:07:53,665 The Parthenon, Angkor Wat, 167 00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,866 the Great Pyramid of Giza. 168 00:07:56,457 --> 00:07:58,460 But it wasn't until my flight home 169 00:07:58,460 --> 00:07:59,875 that I had my epiphany. 170 00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:01,825 Yes, those wonders 171 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,487 are visited by thousands of people every year, 172 00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,369 but 2.4 million people 173 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,004 visit HooliSearch every minute. 174 00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,506 God, what a fucking douchebag. 175 00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:14,275 And then it occurred to me. 176 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:18,245 What I have built is a far greater achievement, 177 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,080 than any of the ancient world. 178 00:08:20,462 --> 00:08:22,794 And the ideal version of myself 179 00:08:23,382 --> 00:08:25,531 was the man I already was. 180 00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:31,968 Thank you. 181 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:35,605 Richard? Richard Hendricks. 182 00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:38,465 - Oh. Huh? Okay. Yeah, hi, Duncan. - Yeah. 183 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,634 Me and my guys were just talking about you and your pizza app. 184 00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:44,504 Oh yeah. I bet. Our algorithm finds you 185 00:08:44,539 --> 00:08:47,007 the cheapest, fastest pizza, and it's... it's awesome. 186 00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:49,052 - Yeah. Definitely. - It's actually so awesome... 187 00:08:49,077 --> 00:08:52,511 That... oh man, I'm gonna... I'm gonna have to pull my resume. 188 00:08:52,941 --> 00:08:55,840 - Oh, you're pulling your... - Oh no. 189 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,973 Yeah, I just don't feel as psyched about it 190 00:08:57,974 --> 00:09:00,707 - as I do about Sliceline. - Sliceline? 191 00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,709 That's the name of your app? 192 00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:05,079 - Yeah. - Oh God. 193 00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:06,513 - Great. - Yeah, it's a pun. 194 00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:09,263 - Is it? - Yeah. It rhymes with Priceline. 195 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,720 - Okay. Just... so, it rhymes? Okay. - Yeah. It's a rhyming pun. 196 00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:15,399 Anyway, there might be some major 197 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,391 VCs around here, so I gotta go mingle. 198 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,452 Okay. 199 00:09:18,477 --> 00:09:20,792 It's the... it's the worst part of this job. Am I right? 200 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,830 I'm kidding. It's the best part of the job. 201 00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:26,600 Okay. 202 00:09:27,536 --> 00:09:28,835 What an asshole. 203 00:09:30,632 --> 00:09:32,639 - Richard. - Gavin, hello. 204 00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:35,208 Don't you look cute in your Sunday best? 205 00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:37,744 How's that little bunny Internet going? 206 00:09:37,779 --> 00:09:39,842 Mmm. New Internet. New. 207 00:09:40,215 --> 00:09:41,815 Unlike your old Internet. 208 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:44,784 You know, I'm glad I ran into you, Richard. 209 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:48,122 I was actually starting to feel bad about what I did today. 210 00:09:48,122 --> 00:09:49,756 Oh? And what was that? 211 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:52,095 Invent the MOSFET transistor? 212 00:09:52,857 --> 00:09:55,261 It's old technology. It's very old, like you. 213 00:09:55,296 --> 00:09:57,464 No. I've heard that you're trying to staff up. 214 00:09:57,489 --> 00:09:58,664 Over the past few months, 215 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,083 you've met with just about every distributed 216 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,700 systems developer in the Valley. 217 00:10:02,328 --> 00:10:03,736 Okay, well, not everyone. 218 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:07,373 63 of them, and as of 4:30 p.m. this afternoon, 219 00:10:07,409 --> 00:10:09,608 I hired them, all 63 of them. 220 00:10:09,644 --> 00:10:11,744 Yeah, I had to pay through the nose, but you know what? 221 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,976 That look right there on your face? 222 00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:17,475 It makes it worth every penny. 223 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,328 You know what? Enjoy the reception, Richard. 224 00:10:20,517 --> 00:10:21,617 You too. 225 00:10:23,268 --> 00:10:24,901 Yeah, he wasn't bluffing. 226 00:10:24,936 --> 00:10:26,479 He hired all of them. 227 00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:28,872 Even my boy Blake Kang? 228 00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:30,308 He was a good one. 229 00:10:30,508 --> 00:10:32,490 I'm sorry, uh, your boy? 230 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,510 I thought his hair was backwards? 231 00:10:34,930 --> 00:10:36,198 You guys were lukewarm on him and everybody 232 00:10:36,198 --> 00:10:38,203 else for all kinds of stupid reasons. 233 00:10:38,203 --> 00:10:39,906 Well, now that they're unavailable, 234 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,070 their strengths are more readily apparent. 235 00:10:42,804 --> 00:10:46,576 And I don't want to point fingers, but we wouldn't be here 236 00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:50,411 if you hadn't let Gilfoyle and me waste so much time being picky. 237 00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,949 What? I was dying to move faster. 238 00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:54,817 I was just respecting your process. 239 00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:56,186 Our process sucks. 240 00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:58,542 Your inability to stop us from sucking 241 00:10:58,542 --> 00:10:59,989 is a failure of leadership. 242 00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:01,904 At least we still have the stallions. 243 00:11:02,318 --> 00:11:04,150 Ah. Those stallions. 244 00:11:04,295 --> 00:11:07,296 Look at 'em. Magnificent. 245 00:11:07,331 --> 00:11:10,420 Sit back down. Just sit in your chairs. 246 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,867 Jared, um... 247 00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:15,735 call alt-right guy and cologne boy 248 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,295 and all the other rejects, 249 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:18,862 and... set meetings. 250 00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:22,032 Well, I did a little digging on the alt-right guy, 251 00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:25,836 and he's pretty involved in a campaign to eliminate black emojis, 252 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,876 but there might be another option. 253 00:11:29,209 --> 00:11:31,109 Do you remember Kira Pickford? 254 00:11:31,144 --> 00:11:34,678 Yes, actually. Yeah, good coder, but she had her own company. 255 00:11:34,714 --> 00:11:37,747 Well, that's true, except that her company, Optimoji, 256 00:11:37,782 --> 00:11:39,416 just lost their second round of funding, 257 00:11:39,451 --> 00:11:41,084 so they're basically on life support. 258 00:11:41,388 --> 00:11:42,474 So? 259 00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:46,223 So, what if, instead of building a team, we acquired one? 260 00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:49,292 But Optimoji has 30 people. We only need 12. 261 00:11:49,328 --> 00:11:52,295 Well, we'll just insist that she let the other 18 go. 262 00:11:52,331 --> 00:11:56,166 We have a lot of leverage. Richard is a shrewd negotiator, 263 00:11:56,201 --> 00:11:58,703 and I'm, you know, spirited. 264 00:12:00,472 --> 00:12:03,482 Look, Kira, this is a fair offer. 265 00:12:03,675 --> 00:12:06,209 But... I've got 30 great guys. 266 00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:08,039 We're like family, 267 00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:11,115 and you only wanna bring along 12? 268 00:12:11,884 --> 00:12:13,717 I have to do what's right by my guys. 269 00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:16,361 Look, I know what it's like to only be able 270 00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:18,021 to rescue half your family, 271 00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,457 - and it's awful, but what can you do? - Shh, shh. 272 00:12:20,492 --> 00:12:22,225 - Sometimes there's only one... - Jared, okay, stop. 273 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,529 Um, look, Kira, you're not gonna find a better deal than that. 274 00:12:25,564 --> 00:12:28,064 Your company is close to bankruptcy 275 00:12:28,099 --> 00:12:29,985 and we all know that there are a lotta 276 00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,796 coders out there in this old town, 277 00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:34,732 and we could go to any of 'em, 278 00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:37,568 but we wanna go to you, so... 279 00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:42,071 kinda feels like we've got all the cards here, huh? 280 00:12:42,106 --> 00:12:44,440 Richard. You keep following me, 281 00:12:44,475 --> 00:12:45,639 I'm gonna call the cops. 282 00:12:45,675 --> 00:12:46,974 - I'm just kidding. - Oh. 283 00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:49,177 - Hey, I'm Duncan. - Hey. Kira. 284 00:12:49,212 --> 00:12:52,528 Hey, guess what company just got his Series "A" Term Sheet? Huh? 285 00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:56,817 Oh, the Sliceline. 286 00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:57,828 Congrats, yeah. 287 00:12:57,853 --> 00:12:59,954 Yeah, we're staffing up like crazy. 288 00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:02,790 Speaking of staffing, how about all those coders you lost, man? 289 00:13:02,826 --> 00:13:04,857 I'm sorry. That must've been a real blow. 290 00:13:05,595 --> 00:13:07,127 What coders? 291 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:10,130 Um, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but this is boring. 292 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,766 Thank God I didn't accept your offer. 293 00:13:11,801 --> 00:13:13,133 I'd be the only guy working for you 294 00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:14,569 now that Gavin Belson swooped in 295 00:13:14,604 --> 00:13:16,136 and tactically mass-hired every single 296 00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,239 distributed systems engineer you were looking at. 297 00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,240 Gavin hired all of Richard's coders? 298 00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:21,715 Not everyone. Not everyone. 299 00:13:21,715 --> 00:13:23,986 Yup. The guy is savage, 300 00:13:23,987 --> 00:13:26,488 and so are my guys if they don't get their caffeine, 301 00:13:26,523 --> 00:13:29,671 so nice meeting you, Kira. Cool. Cool, cool. 302 00:13:32,882 --> 00:13:34,749 What were you saying about holding all the cards? 303 00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:37,250 All of my coders or none of them. 304 00:13:37,286 --> 00:13:38,380 Take it or leave it. 305 00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:46,042 What? 306 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,885 What the fuck? 307 00:13:49,806 --> 00:13:51,407 - Do you have... - Do you... 308 00:13:51,711 --> 00:13:53,610 Jian-Yang! 309 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,547 Jian-Yang... would you please explain 310 00:13:57,582 --> 00:14:01,131 why we each found some random Chinese guy asleep in our beds? 311 00:14:01,977 --> 00:14:04,220 Yes, you work all day. 312 00:14:04,255 --> 00:14:07,760 Your rooms are always empty, so they use. 313 00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:12,081 - The fuck they do. - Yes, it's not your house. 314 00:14:12,263 --> 00:14:14,764 This is not your house either, Jian-Yang. 315 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,237 This is Erlich's house. 316 00:14:16,262 --> 00:14:19,235 Do you think Erlich would want your guys here? 317 00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:22,722 No. That's why I invite them, because I hate Errich. 318 00:14:22,722 --> 00:14:24,065 We are not Erlich. 319 00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,976 You are from Errich's administration. 320 00:14:27,011 --> 00:14:30,046 No, we are not. Nobody has heard from Erlich in months. 321 00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:34,016 This isn't working. I'm gonna drag your cousin the fuck outta my lair. 322 00:14:34,052 --> 00:14:35,647 No, this is my cousin. 323 00:14:40,098 --> 00:14:42,024 Engineers, welcome. 324 00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:44,099 You are 63 of the top distributed 325 00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:46,262 systems developers in the Valley, 326 00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:48,197 and we're looking forward to working with you. 327 00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:51,780 Hooli is the future, and your future is... 328 00:14:54,638 --> 00:14:56,372 the Box Two. 329 00:14:58,955 --> 00:15:01,122 So, are there any questions? 330 00:15:05,226 --> 00:15:06,352 Yes? 331 00:15:06,617 --> 00:15:09,256 I'm sorry, but what if we don't wanna work on that? 332 00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,888 Weird. This is our flagship product, 333 00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:15,591 but I'm sure we'd all like to hear what you would like to work on. 334 00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,446 A decentralized Internet, like we were 335 00:15:17,471 --> 00:15:19,361 going to build with Richard Hendricks. 336 00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:22,513 Actually, that's the one thing we can't do here at Hooli. 337 00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:23,733 Yes? 338 00:15:23,998 --> 00:15:27,769 Sorry. You only hired us because Pied Piper wanted us, right? 339 00:15:27,769 --> 00:15:29,344 Untrue. Go on. 340 00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:30,873 And Pied Piper only wanted us 341 00:15:30,908 --> 00:15:34,009 because of our ability to help build a decentralized Internet. 342 00:15:34,044 --> 00:15:35,532 Can't speak to that. Continue. 343 00:15:35,745 --> 00:15:38,012 And you're telling us that even if we want to, 344 00:15:38,047 --> 00:15:40,298 we can't build a decentralized Internet here. 345 00:15:40,298 --> 00:15:41,549 May I ask why not? 346 00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:44,552 Because Richard owns the patent for it. 347 00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:47,588 Yes, third row, red hoodie. 348 00:15:47,624 --> 00:15:49,882 - How did he get it? - I gave it to him. 349 00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:54,655 - You in the back? - Why did you do that? 350 00:15:55,214 --> 00:15:58,098 It was a Buddhist act of selflessness. 351 00:15:58,828 --> 00:16:01,864 Well, I'm also a Buddhist, and I would never give him the patent. 352 00:16:01,864 --> 00:16:03,920 I mean, once he builds that Internet, 353 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,263 he's gonna render Hooli's entire web-based 354 00:16:06,288 --> 00:16:07,975 ecosystem completely obsolete. 355 00:16:08,424 --> 00:16:10,986 I mean, everything you're doing here is antiquated. 356 00:16:12,727 --> 00:16:14,438 That's not a question. That's a statement. 357 00:16:14,863 --> 00:16:15,971 You know what? 358 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:19,666 Fuck you guys. I don't want you working on my box. 359 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,534 It's too good for you. "Antiquated"? 360 00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:23,970 Why did you all take my money then, you entitled little pricks? 361 00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:25,738 You all think you're John Lennon 362 00:16:25,774 --> 00:16:27,750 until someone waves a dollar in your face! 363 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,375 You know what? Get outta here! 364 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:32,669 Go on, just wander the campus for four years until you vest. 365 00:16:32,669 --> 00:16:34,062 See what I care. 366 00:16:34,311 --> 00:16:37,112 I'm serious! Go! Goodbye! Thank you very much! 367 00:16:39,116 --> 00:16:41,991 Assholes. "Antiquated"? 368 00:16:42,286 --> 00:16:43,637 Fuck do they think they are? 369 00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:45,928 I'm in the Innovation Hall of Fame. Are they? 370 00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:49,399 Speaking of, they sent over the official inductees portrait. 371 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,894 You and your peers. Handsome bunch. 372 00:16:55,702 --> 00:16:56,735 Fuck. 373 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,049 Fuck! 374 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,537 - So, Mr. Yang... - It's Mr. Jian. 375 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,879 In China, last name comes first. 376 00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:15,078 Okay. Mr. Jian, you say that Erlich 377 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,561 Bachman wrote this letter... 378 00:17:16,987 --> 00:17:19,504 - to you? - Yes. 379 00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:22,503 "This is Erlich. Hello. 380 00:17:23,051 --> 00:17:26,505 "I am gone, but Jian-Yang 381 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:29,388 is a very good friend and very smart. 382 00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:33,439 "I want him to be the leader of the house 383 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:36,432 "and control all of the friends. 384 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,996 Goodbye. Bachman Erlich." 385 00:17:41,835 --> 00:17:44,843 Yes. I want his house. 386 00:17:45,243 --> 00:17:46,166 Thank you. 387 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,181 Okay, I don't technically represent Mr. Bachman. 388 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,941 I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel, 389 00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:54,117 so my exposure to Bachman pertains only 390 00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:56,095 to his 10% ownership of the business. 391 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,450 Errich owns 10% of Pied Piper? 392 00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:01,935 This was not a lie? 393 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,914 Sadly, no, that's very, very real. 394 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:08,129 That's worth a lot of money. 395 00:18:08,345 --> 00:18:11,756 It's promising tech. One day it could be worth a shit-ton. 396 00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:16,138 Shit-ton. Yes. 397 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,754 Mr. Jian, you seem like a good guy. 398 00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:23,692 Um, this letter is not a legal document. 399 00:18:23,692 --> 00:18:27,060 I mean, maybe a skilled attorney could make a case 400 00:18:27,095 --> 00:18:29,294 that in the absence of an existing will, 401 00:18:29,329 --> 00:18:31,697 this would serve as one in the case of Bachman's death, 402 00:18:31,732 --> 00:18:34,207 but as far as I can tell, the guy is not... 403 00:18:34,232 --> 00:18:35,157 Dead. 404 00:18:36,303 --> 00:18:39,535 Yes. Errich is dead. 405 00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:45,077 Do you happen to have... a death certificate 406 00:18:45,112 --> 00:18:48,510 - or any... any form of proof of... - Yes. 407 00:18:49,552 --> 00:18:50,918 I can get it now. 408 00:18:55,022 --> 00:18:57,756 Our deal with Kira is for 30 fucking coders. 409 00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:58,924 Where in the hell are we gonna put them? 410 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,660 Well, I suppose we could put three more workstations here, 411 00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:04,295 and then two more over there. 412 00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,030 It'd be crowded but cozy. 413 00:19:06,066 --> 00:19:08,733 They'll be all holed up together like the Branch Davidians. 414 00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:12,869 Yeah, but, I mean, are we sure this is the right thing to do? 415 00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:14,906 I mean, I don't want to crowd the stallions. 416 00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:18,747 Are we sure taking on all 30 of Kira's guys is the right move? 417 00:19:18,747 --> 00:19:20,813 We can get up and running. They all know each other, 418 00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:22,482 so we won't have to play the name game. 419 00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:23,927 Yeah. 420 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,867 - Ron, hello. - Hey, buddy. Hang on just a second. 421 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:34,303 No, the... the exit is... The exit is the other way. 422 00:19:34,338 --> 00:19:35,539 God damn it. 423 00:19:35,564 --> 00:19:39,141 Um, Richie, you know a guy named "Jee-Ann"? 424 00:19:39,176 --> 00:19:40,287 Jan? Uh, no. 425 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:43,643 Well, I know a "Jan the Man," but she's a woman. 426 00:19:44,047 --> 00:19:47,116 Look, did you... did you talk to the Optimoji board yet? 427 00:19:47,151 --> 00:19:49,118 Uh, did we close the deal? 428 00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:51,288 Uh, well, a deal closed. 429 00:19:51,313 --> 00:19:53,188 Another bidder came in with a better offer, 430 00:19:53,224 --> 00:19:54,956 - so they went with them. - What? 431 00:19:54,992 --> 00:19:56,925 Was it Gavin fucking Belson again? 432 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,007 No, it was a new company. 433 00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:01,363 Real smart, clever name. 434 00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:03,632 Sort of a pun that rhymes. 435 00:20:11,048 --> 00:20:12,807 Oh, hello, dickheads. 436 00:20:12,843 --> 00:20:14,909 I hope I'm not interrupting your plotting, 437 00:20:14,945 --> 00:20:17,078 you sneaky little dinks. 438 00:20:17,114 --> 00:20:19,748 Kira, you and I had a deal, okay? 439 00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:23,118 So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! 440 00:20:23,153 --> 00:20:25,181 What did he say? 441 00:20:25,722 --> 00:20:28,089 Not you. Just e... everyone. 442 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,058 I meant fuck all of you. No one specific. 443 00:20:30,093 --> 00:20:32,284 - Richard, you low-balled me. - Mmm? 444 00:20:32,309 --> 00:20:36,032 Remember? Well, Duncan here said he wanted to grow fast as balls. 445 00:20:36,066 --> 00:20:38,432 - He said he was psyched. - Yeah, I am psyched. 446 00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:39,701 I'd hire a million people if I could. 447 00:20:39,736 --> 00:20:42,671 See, if I have to sell my company, I might as well sell it 448 00:20:42,706 --> 00:20:45,505 to the CEO who actually wants all of us. 449 00:20:45,541 --> 00:20:46,974 It's pizza, Kira. 450 00:20:47,009 --> 00:20:50,610 Richard, we're just three CEOs trying to do right by our companies. 451 00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:53,147 Okay, you know what? I'm glad you turned us down, 452 00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:54,948 because I don't want to work with anyone 453 00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,879 who wants to work with this... meathead. 454 00:21:01,223 --> 00:21:04,435 I'm taking these. I'm taking all of them. 455 00:21:06,595 --> 00:21:09,075 Maybe just take one. You have like four employees. 456 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,111 Ha! 457 00:21:16,605 --> 00:21:17,770 Ah, shit. 458 00:21:18,907 --> 00:21:20,038 Throw it away. 459 00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:23,775 Patrice, I'd like to welcome you back to the Hooli family. 460 00:21:23,775 --> 00:21:26,045 It's wonderful to be back, Gavin. 461 00:21:26,081 --> 00:21:28,682 Sadly, the timing couldn't be worse. 462 00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:32,311 Those code-monkeys I just hired were right about one thing: 463 00:21:32,346 --> 00:21:35,599 Making Jack's box the flagship product of this company 464 00:21:35,599 --> 00:21:38,167 will send us down a path to technological irrelevance 465 00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,766 from which we will never return. 466 00:21:39,802 --> 00:21:42,336 But in light of the time and resources 467 00:21:42,371 --> 00:21:43,904 we've invested in this product, 468 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,037 convincing the board and our shareholders 469 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,099 to simply scrap it will be nearly impossible. 470 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:51,009 Our company is too big to turn around that quickly. 471 00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:54,478 Gavin, what if you launched a new product to help us correct course? 472 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,130 Absolutely. Look at all the products 473 00:21:56,156 --> 00:21:58,017 you've brought to market over the years. 474 00:21:58,295 --> 00:22:00,152 Hmm. True. 475 00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:03,386 I did invent the HooliPod and the HooliPad 476 00:22:03,411 --> 00:22:05,023 and the HooliPad Pro, 477 00:22:05,058 --> 00:22:08,904 but a man only has so many game-changing inventions in him. 478 00:22:09,141 --> 00:22:12,776 And technically, all the products he just named were money-losers. 479 00:22:12,812 --> 00:22:14,746 I mean, you could argue we'd have been better off 480 00:22:14,781 --> 00:22:17,122 if he'd never invented any of that stuff. 481 00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:21,886 - Hoover. - Sir. 482 00:22:26,033 --> 00:22:28,605 Patrice, can I talk to you outside for a second? 483 00:22:31,898 --> 00:22:35,694 Anyway, if Jack Barker's insidious box is allowed to go to market, 484 00:22:35,719 --> 00:22:37,234 we may all lose our jobs. 485 00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:38,636 We may all go the way of Patrice. 486 00:22:38,671 --> 00:22:41,805 But we must fight it. We cannot sacrifice 487 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,295 our long-term wellbeing in the interest 488 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,310 of paltry, short-term profits. 489 00:22:46,345 --> 00:22:48,379 Well, they're not paltry, exactly. 490 00:22:48,414 --> 00:22:51,148 Did you not see the preorder figures for the Box Two? 491 00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:52,698 They came in this morning. 492 00:22:54,969 --> 00:22:56,320 Holy shit. 493 00:22:57,657 --> 00:23:00,390 Are these right? How many quarters is this? 494 00:23:00,425 --> 00:23:02,625 Just one. The Box Two will be by far 495 00:23:02,661 --> 00:23:04,795 the most lucrative new product we've ever released. 496 00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:08,364 Fucking Sliceline. 497 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,734 Plus his fancy, hi-tech pizza tastes just like Domino's. 498 00:23:11,770 --> 00:23:14,771 There's a reason for that. Check out the liner. 499 00:23:14,807 --> 00:23:17,573 Oh yeah. I guess that's Domino's. 500 00:23:17,609 --> 00:23:19,409 We never had pizza 'cause my step-mom said 501 00:23:19,444 --> 00:23:21,299 Italians aren't real white people. 502 00:23:21,947 --> 00:23:24,948 Hold on. Duncan doesn't even make his own pizza? 503 00:23:24,983 --> 00:23:26,883 He just orders it from Domino's 504 00:23:26,919 --> 00:23:28,484 and switches the boxes? 505 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,187 He really is sneaky. 506 00:23:30,222 --> 00:23:33,232 It's not sneaky. It's stupid. 507 00:23:33,557 --> 00:23:35,925 Switching boxes costs a lot of money. 508 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,194 Okay. How do you know? 509 00:23:38,229 --> 00:23:40,268 I need to prove Errich's dead, 510 00:23:40,564 --> 00:23:44,033 so I want to ship a dead body from China, 511 00:23:44,068 --> 00:23:47,602 but it's hard to find a white body in China, 512 00:23:47,638 --> 00:23:50,139 especially fat like Errich, 513 00:23:50,174 --> 00:23:53,923 so I buy a fat, white cadaver 514 00:23:54,212 --> 00:23:56,212 from Cincinnati medical school. 515 00:23:56,457 --> 00:24:00,153 But to ship to China, then switch box, 516 00:24:00,318 --> 00:24:03,319 then ship back, it's way too much money. 517 00:24:04,958 --> 00:24:06,090 Say that again. 518 00:24:06,423 --> 00:24:09,023 Like, not one word of that made sense. 519 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,294 Hold on. Just... ju... What... uh... 520 00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:16,895 does anyone... does anyone know the price of a Domino's pizza? 521 00:24:17,133 --> 00:24:18,567 A large, 10 bucks. 522 00:24:18,602 --> 00:24:21,736 Okay, well, Sliceline sells theirs for nine. 523 00:24:22,209 --> 00:24:26,185 - So? - So, we're not fucked yet. 524 00:24:27,311 --> 00:24:30,044 That was kinda crazy, Richard. That was... 525 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,381 I mean, you threw a full-on tantrum. 526 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:34,882 I know, I know. I am so sorry. 527 00:24:34,918 --> 00:24:38,520 It's just... I guess I'm just a CEO trying to do right by my company. 528 00:24:38,555 --> 00:24:40,062 Like you guys. 529 00:24:40,523 --> 00:24:42,790 Speaking of business, wow, we're having a hell of a night. 530 00:24:42,826 --> 00:24:44,025 Yeah, well, I would know. 531 00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:47,428 About 500 of those orders tonight are me. 532 00:24:47,824 --> 00:24:49,897 Oh. Richard, you really didn't have to do that. 533 00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:52,900 But the peace offering is super appreciated. 534 00:24:52,936 --> 00:24:55,962 Yeah, well, I wouldn't really call it a peace offering. 535 00:24:56,239 --> 00:24:59,440 You see, Duncan, you took eight mil in funding, right? 536 00:24:59,682 --> 00:25:02,487 And then you matched my offer to acquire 537 00:25:02,512 --> 00:25:04,310 Optimoji here from Kira, 538 00:25:04,347 --> 00:25:07,014 but the thing is, you can't sell your pizzas 539 00:25:07,050 --> 00:25:09,917 for nine bucks a pop without taking a bath, can you? 540 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,260 The reboxing, the double delivery, ugh. 541 00:25:13,489 --> 00:25:15,956 You lose, what, four bucks an order? 542 00:25:15,991 --> 00:25:17,429 Five, actually. 543 00:25:18,927 --> 00:25:21,328 - We're losing five bucks a pizza? - Yeah. 544 00:25:21,364 --> 00:25:23,864 Only temporarily. So, her team is gonna optimize 545 00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:27,334 our order routing and allocation, and then we'll be cash-flow positive. 546 00:25:27,370 --> 00:25:28,769 We can easily turn it around 547 00:25:28,804 --> 00:25:30,304 - before we run out of money. - Right. 548 00:25:30,339 --> 00:25:32,740 - Yeah. - Unless a lot of people 549 00:25:32,775 --> 00:25:35,008 buy your pizza very quickly. 550 00:25:37,413 --> 00:25:38,612 What are... What are you doing? 551 00:25:38,648 --> 00:25:41,181 Well, Duncan, I can be a dickhead too. 552 00:25:41,216 --> 00:25:43,950 You see, I have $13 million in my bank account 553 00:25:43,986 --> 00:25:47,132 and a very low payroll, which affords me 554 00:25:47,157 --> 00:25:49,255 to buy a lot of tasty 'za 555 00:25:49,291 --> 00:25:51,586 before you can turn it around. 556 00:25:52,746 --> 00:25:54,026 You're trying to bankrupt us? 557 00:25:54,061 --> 00:25:57,096 No, Kira. I'm simply trying to devalue your company, 558 00:25:57,131 --> 00:25:59,623 so that I can make a low-ball acquisition offer 559 00:25:59,967 --> 00:26:01,267 which you cannot refuse. 560 00:26:01,303 --> 00:26:03,803 Richard, I'm just gonna delete your account. 561 00:26:04,016 --> 00:26:05,882 You see, my engineers already thought of that, 562 00:26:06,073 --> 00:26:08,073 and they worked up a little botnet program. 563 00:26:08,109 --> 00:26:11,344 Thousands of fake users indistinguishable from real ones 564 00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:14,079 geolocated perfectly to maximize drive time 565 00:26:14,115 --> 00:26:16,982 and bleed your little greasebag operation dry. 566 00:26:17,752 --> 00:26:19,752 You know, I may not have that many coders, 567 00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:22,454 but the ones I do are stallions, 568 00:26:22,967 --> 00:26:25,913 each one more magnificent than the last. 569 00:26:29,331 --> 00:26:33,176 You spent $19,000 on pizza? 570 00:26:33,211 --> 00:26:35,528 No, $19,000 on vengeance. 571 00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:38,997 You're acquiring Sliceline who already acquired Optimoji? 572 00:26:39,235 --> 00:26:42,333 Richard, you're talking about absorbing a staff of 50. 573 00:26:42,369 --> 00:26:43,902 How are you gonna spin this to Laurie? 574 00:26:43,937 --> 00:26:45,636 Well, you said you'd protect me from Laurie. 575 00:26:45,671 --> 00:26:47,838 I mean, she's your partner. Are you afraid of her? 576 00:26:48,165 --> 00:26:49,307 Of course I'm afraid of her. 577 00:26:49,342 --> 00:26:51,142 The woman got pregnant just to prove to me 578 00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:53,344 that she could do it without missing a day of work. 579 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,846 Okay, fair enough, but maybe this one time you could take my side. 580 00:26:55,882 --> 00:26:58,048 I cannot take your side. You're asking for 50 employees. 581 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,983 - Think of the... - Sorry I am late. 582 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:02,686 Hey, Laurie. Did you, uh... 583 00:27:02,722 --> 00:27:05,055 Induce? Yes, this morning... 584 00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,057 and here I am. 585 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,728 So, Richard, 586 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:11,194 I received your email. 587 00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:14,665 I understand you wish to acquire a company called... 588 00:27:14,876 --> 00:27:16,167 Sliceline, 589 00:27:16,168 --> 00:27:20,037 which themselves recently acquired a company called Optimoji. 590 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:23,507 Yes, and I will be firing both companies' CEOs 591 00:27:23,543 --> 00:27:26,381 and taking on a total engineering team of about, 592 00:27:26,406 --> 00:27:27,868 uh, 50. 593 00:27:28,307 --> 00:27:29,413 Fifty? 594 00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:33,621 Monica, you are okay with this? 595 00:27:34,052 --> 00:27:37,787 Well, it shortens their runway significantly, 596 00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:40,323 but you did say that you want them to grow, Laurie. 597 00:27:40,358 --> 00:27:43,359 Yes, but in this case it seems... 598 00:27:43,394 --> 00:27:45,129 reckless. 599 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:48,832 However, if you are on top of it, 600 00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:50,203 Monica, then... 601 00:27:52,136 --> 00:27:53,205 ...approved. 602 00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:54,971 Congratulations. 603 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:58,122 Great. Thanks. And congratulations to you too. 604 00:27:59,811 --> 00:28:00,844 On? 605 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:04,413 On the... on your... On your baby. 606 00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:05,482 Oh. 607 00:28:10,332 --> 00:28:11,978 _ 608 00:28:12,003 --> 00:28:14,723 This is awesome. Gavin is essentially doubling-down 609 00:28:14,758 --> 00:28:16,692 on the very thing we are destroying. 610 00:28:16,727 --> 00:28:18,027 It's like he's giving up. 611 00:28:18,062 --> 00:28:20,096 Maybe I should've ordered the nicer Tesla. 612 00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:24,500 Ah. 613 00:28:24,932 --> 00:28:26,860 Oh gosh. Everyone's here. 614 00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:28,593 Richard. So many people. 615 00:28:28,628 --> 00:28:29,694 Richard. 616 00:28:30,429 --> 00:28:32,157 Hey. Hey. 617 00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:35,600 I thought you'd want to give some opening remarks, 618 00:28:35,635 --> 00:28:37,335 you know, it being the first day and all, 619 00:28:37,371 --> 00:28:38,903 just to set the tone. 620 00:28:40,239 --> 00:28:42,774 Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Hendricks! 621 00:28:51,918 --> 00:28:53,684 Um... 622 00:28:54,047 --> 00:28:55,720 Um... 623 00:28:56,087 --> 00:28:58,590 Well, it's great to have everybody 624 00:28:58,828 --> 00:29:02,712 and... so many... f... faces. 625 00:29:04,069 --> 00:29:05,961 We've got a lot of... 626 00:29:06,938 --> 00:29:08,463 men and women here. 627 00:29:10,169 --> 00:29:11,168 And... 628 00:29:13,906 --> 00:29:15,204 we should remember that. 629 00:29:17,436 --> 00:29:19,469 So, let's keep it clean. 630 00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:21,878 Um... 631 00:29:22,214 --> 00:29:24,150 it's always a challenge... 632 00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:26,117 to get it... 633 00:29:26,152 --> 00:29:29,587 I've got... I should probably... more to say in a minute. 634 00:29:29,623 --> 00:29:31,789 I just have to go, one... One second, in my office... 635 00:29:32,496 --> 00:29:34,763 and then we'll conclude. 636 00:29:35,927 --> 00:29:39,294 Uh, he just needs a second in his office, then he's gonna come back. 637 00:29:43,606 --> 00:29:44,749 Oh God. 638 00:29:45,328 --> 00:29:47,803 Don't tell anyone, okay? 639 00:29:48,229 --> 00:29:51,463 Um, Richard, I know... I know money's tight, 640 00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:54,433 but I think I might invest in a modesty panel for your desk. 641 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:55,940 What? 642 00:30:04,233 --> 00:30:06,909 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com