1 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,090 A little to the right. The right, more, more. 2 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,442 More. Woof! Aces. 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,081 We did it. 4 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,369 - Busy? - Hey, come on in. 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,321 I'm just putting the finishing touches on Bachman's Operational Center. 6 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,205 Can you believe that I talked the ladies into letting me keep 7 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,442 that little piece of genius in here? 8 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,646 Oh! 9 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,161 - Sweet. - Sweet indeed. It's human hair. 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,449 Where have you been? We've been trying to close your deal. 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,049 Monica and Laurie were really fighting me on one final deal point 12 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,531 and I was getting bummed, 13 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,087 so I turned my phone off, went kitesurfing in Fiji. 14 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,686 When I got back, I was chill again. 15 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,482 And I got a message that they agreed. 16 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,288 - So, you closed. - Yep. 17 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,370 What was that one little pesky deal point? 18 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,800 I think you're gonna like it. 19 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,002 Fuck, yeah! 20 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,640 A keyman clause? 21 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:16,051 Yes. And said keyman is none other than yours truly. 22 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,005 It's the highest honor that you can bestow on a VC. 23 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,925 - So, you get shares in the company. - No. 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,241 - So, you get a seat on the board? - I do not. 25 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:27,441 A bonus. 26 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,801 There's no cash involved, but if Monica or Laurie 27 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,530 tries to oust me from Bream-Hall, 28 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,809 Keenan Feldspar can void the deal and walk. 29 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,406 So, basically, this new title just means 30 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,927 that you for sure get to keep your shitty desk job. 31 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,441 Congratulations, but, Erlich, can you please turn on the heat? 32 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,521 It's freezing in here. 33 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,160 Tsk, tsk, Richard. Negativity. 34 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,685 Have you seen Keenan's demo? 35 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,488 Reddit is shitting itself over it. 36 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,207 Of course I've seen it. I'm his keyman. 37 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,366 He gave me one of the first opportunities to shit myself over it. 38 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,642 -It's that good? - Guys, come on. 39 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,087 How good can it be? VR is just a fad. 40 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,406 Oh, Richard, I've forgotten what an envious little crone you can be. 41 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,326 Envious? Me, of who? 42 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,448 - Keenan Feldspar? - Of course. 43 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,126 Keenan was born with a golden horseshoe up his ass, 44 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,767 while you sit here toiling away in an icebox you call your home office, 45 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,888 cursed with the Midas touch of shit. 46 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,325 I'm not cursed. 47 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,882 And the icebox you're referring to is your house, okay? 48 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:31,681 What? 49 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,922 Uh, guys, I just got a billing alert from Azure. 50 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,162 Apparently, all of our cold data has gone hot, 51 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,971 so we've already exceeded our monthly server budget? 52 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,526 Monthly? Bullshit. It's been four days. 53 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,126 What the fuck? 54 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,170 We have to store Melcher's data there until we have enough phones. 55 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,366 We can't afford this. 56 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,285 I'm gonna call Melcher. 57 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,570 Hey, Richard, how we doing? 58 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,483 Is there something going on with your data? 59 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,404 Because it was basically parked until a few hours ago 60 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,201 when it started flying on and off our network like crazy. 61 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,329 Well, aren't you watching the Weather Channel? 62 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,289 No. Why, is there a hurricane or something? 63 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,930 Worse. It's cold outside. 64 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,121 Okay. SQ? 65 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,885 California loses its mind when it gets cold. 66 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,611 Citrus trees start freezing. 67 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,491 Sometimes, there's actual frost on the road, 68 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,922 you know, and people start filing claims like crazy. 69 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,844 Our whole office is going nuts right now. 70 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,884 Well, that kind of data traffic is costing us a fortune. 71 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,729 That's the beauty of the deal we made, Richard. 72 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,802 You agreed to store our data for a flat rate. 73 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,121 Everyone else in my division is getting gouged on their 74 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,089 storage and bandwidth fees right now, 75 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,606 but thanks to you, I look like a genius. 76 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,570 - I'll tell Liz you say hi. - Oh. Oh, no. No, no. That's okay. 77 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,641 - What did he say? - He says, "Hi." 78 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,128 And that we are responsible for the overages. 79 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,201 Fuck. 80 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,204 - Maybe you are cursed. - I'm not. 81 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,282 That's ridiculous. There's no such thing. 82 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,486 Fucking what? 83 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,121 Richard, a bill of this size is going to be problematic. 84 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,564 Problematic? Catastrophic. 85 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,366 We're not gonna be able to pay that bill so our server's gonna get cut off. 86 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,090 Which means we're gonna lose Melcher's data, 87 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,881 which means he's gonna sue us and seize our assets and our patents, 88 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,928 and the entire future of the fucking Internet 89 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,083 is gonna belong to a fucking insurance company. 90 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,091 I can't take this shit anymore. Admit it, we're fucked. 91 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,448 Okay, let's just think. Let's just think. 92 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:28,367 Dan Melcher runs a very conservative insurance company, 93 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,527 but even he was willing to pay us up front for data storage, right? 94 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,681 True. 95 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,720 - Although that was complicated. - What? 96 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,962 It was just such a "in the weeds" deal. 97 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,849 Point being, we could find another customer 98 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,130 and then use that upfront payment to cover Melcher's fees. 99 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,563 That's like getting a new credit card to pay off your old credit card. 100 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:54,606 Yeah, and as CFO, I should tell you we've already done that seven times. 101 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,001 Look, I don't have any moral issue with any of that, 102 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,724 but it was hard enough to get Melcher, 103 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,167 how the fuck are we gonna get a second Melcher? 104 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,326 It's cold out here. I can almost see my breath, huh? 105 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,321 What do you want? 106 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,081 Well, uh... 107 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,201 It's just that the guys are a little agitated 108 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,921 because we seem to be having minor money troubles. 109 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,009 I was thinking since you and Bream-Hall 110 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,084 signed such a big check over to Keenan Feldspar, 111 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,844 and since you're his keyman, 112 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,241 maybe you could help set up a data storage deal 113 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,481 like we had with Melcher. 114 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,841 Merely tens of minutes ago, 115 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,527 you were rubbing VR's face in a pile of its own make. 116 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,926 That means shit. And now VR is supposed to be your lifeboat? 117 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,720 Just to remind you, Erlich, you are also an investor in Pied Piper. 118 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,169 It would be good for everyone, including you. 119 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,731 Very well. 120 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,965 Fill me in on the details of your little proposal. 121 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:54,841 Pitch. 122 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,366 What do you mean? You know the details. 123 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,047 You were there with me for every single pitch meeting. 124 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,444 And I'm sorry that I wasn't key in those meetings, 125 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,291 so I don't recall all of the little nitty-gritty details. 126 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,768 ...saving you 25% on your data storage, 127 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:21,322 which makes us pretty deserving of the Weissman trophy. 128 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,847 You know, the Heisman trophy from athletics. 129 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,565 Dude, this demo is insane. 130 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,847 Gentlemen, you're stepping on Richard's laughs. 131 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:35,289 I'm sorry, but I walked up a hill, and on the top of the hill there was a tavern, 132 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,006 and I walked into the tavern, 133 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,242 and I can just look everywhere and there was a barmaid. 134 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,482 Guess what? I walked right up to the barmaid, 135 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,925 and I just looked at her for a really long time. 136 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,290 This technology could change the world. 137 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,845 I'm not one to gush, 138 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,686 but the possibilities of your consequence-free reality 139 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,489 are darkly promising. 140 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,840 So stoked you guys liked it. 141 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,081 I hacked it together last summer, 142 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,401 and I just guessed right on a lot of the details. 143 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,524 But if you think that was cool, wait till you see our final hardware, 144 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,530 which is in en route from China. It's gorgeous. 145 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,930 Well, enjoy it while it lasts just 'cause, you know, this can be a tough business. 146 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,201 Is it? 147 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,851 So, Richard... 148 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,408 You wanna try the demo? 149 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,442 No, thanks. No, I'm not a VR guy. 150 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,211 Richard doesn't like things that are cool or fun or taste good. 151 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,970 Plus, it makes him queasy. 152 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,289 He has a sensitive constitution. 153 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,971 Ah, come on, you're gonna do it. 154 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,525 Look at him. He's gonna do it. 155 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,370 It's gonna be awesome. Come on. 156 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:31,965 - You're doing it. Come on, come on. - Sure. I guess. 157 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,041 - After you. - Okay. 158 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,044 Wow. You really vomited a lot. 159 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,045 - And, like, immediately. - Yeah. Yeah. 160 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,241 Bad luck, I guess. 161 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:52,124 Yeah, so, look, anyway, about that data storage deal... 162 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,965 Oh, yeah, if Erlich says it works, that's good enough for me. 163 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,007 - Let's do it. - Really? 164 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,487 - Yeah. - Okay. Perfect. That's great. 165 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,324 Um, well, I guess we should get back to the house, 166 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,845 - draw up some paperwork for that. - Mmm-hmm. 167 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,488 We should be able to pull everything together by Monday? 168 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,010 Is it cool if we hang out 169 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,367 just to, like, play around with the VR some more? 170 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,886 Okay, but I'm sure Keenan's busy. 171 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,485 No, you guys should stay. 172 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,483 You want a beer? I just put in a fresh keg. 173 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,929 He put in a fresh keg. 174 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,206 It's so warm in here. 175 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,926 That would be the subfloor heating. 176 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,685 I didn't even know I had it. It just came with the house. 177 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,447 That's nice. 178 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,571 What are you telling me? Box Two is delayed? 179 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,367 We were already facing some design and production challenges, 180 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,044 but then this cold snap happened. 181 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,204 Apparently, there was frost on the loading dock 182 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,009 at our microprocessor plant in Acton. 183 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,209 So, it's cold outside. 184 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,250 Why does everyone in this state have to be such a wimp about it? 185 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,527 Well, a semi-truck slid right through the door 186 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,524 and hit the main breaker panel and melted down the entire facility. 187 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,921 The driver was incinerated instantly. 188 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,521 I see. Well, thoughts and prayers, obviously. 189 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,450 But we'll still be ready to roll out in time for Hoolicon, right? 190 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,370 Guys, hey, I'm not Gavin Belson. 191 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,925 You can be honest with me. 192 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,490 How many days will this set us back? 193 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,606 We're going to miss delivery of product by two quarters. 194 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,322 You realize Hoolicon is in one week, right? 195 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,803 I mean, it's my first Hoolicon as CEO of this company. 196 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,642 I'm supposed to get up on stage 197 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,002 in front of an audience of thousands 198 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:37,041 and deliver a keynote presentation built entirely around the release of Box Two. 199 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,802 I was going to descend onto the stage in a giant box. 200 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,211 Boom! 201 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,520 Jack in the box. 202 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,043 Then Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather were gonna come out and box 203 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,600 over who was gonna get to take home the first new Box. 204 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,684 These are world-class puns! Now, I got nothing. 205 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,521 Hello? 206 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,841 Hey, guys- 207 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,371 I have something to show you. 208 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,887 - Have you been here all weekend? - Is that the sushi guy? 209 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,606 Matching pajamas. 210 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,480 You guys look like you're in a cult. 211 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,484 Oh. Keenan gets these for free. 212 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,562 Yeah, we're not gonna wear the same thing three days straight. 213 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,801 You gotta come check this out. 214 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:19,681 This way. 215 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:26,801 Wow. 216 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,611 I didn't feel sick at all. Not once. 217 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,844 - Not even going up the hill? - No. 218 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,971 No nausea at all. 219 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,565 Yeah, I felt fine the entire time. 220 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,771 What did you do, did you reduce the latency? 221 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,849 I didn't. You did. 222 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,411 Dinesh and Gilfoyle helped me integrate 223 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,409 your middle-out compression algorithm into my codec. 224 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,689 - I'm sorry, what? -It's off the charts now, man. 225 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,649 We were even able to push the barmaid to the cloud. 226 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,529 These two guys are mad geniuses. 227 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,726 Hang on, I have something for you. 228 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,240 Mmm-hmm. 229 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,681 What the fuck? 230 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,690 You just gave our proprietary technology to this asshole 231 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,081 without even running it by me first. Are you serious? 232 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,891 Well, we were just hanging out, and he was like, "We should try it," 233 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,691 and he said we could delete it, and then he started getting really excited. 234 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,967 And then he said, you know, "You're doing it," a bunch of times, 235 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,328 and then we did it, and then we started getting really excited. 236 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,926 - And it was so exciting. - And it worked. 237 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,445 The VR is rad now. 238 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,450 Gilfoyle, "rad"? 239 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,770 You are wearing the exact same pajamas as Dinesh 240 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,285 and you're saying "rad" now? 241 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,360 You have been sucked entirely into his little Keenan vortex. 242 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,441 Okay. 243 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,126 I grant you with the benefit of even a second's distance, 244 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,561 this isn't a good look. 245 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,449 I don't know. I think we look rad. 246 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,771 - Just hear Keenan out, okay? - On what? 247 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,841 Here you go, Richard. 248 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,044 - What's this? -It's an offer. 249 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,805 I want to acquire Pied Piper. 250 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,883 Oh. 251 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,401 Bingo. 252 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,041 2009, the HooliPad touchscreen 253 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,886 was recalled five days before Gavin Belson's Hoolicon keynote. 254 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,442 Now, if he can pull something together that fast, certainly I can. 255 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,527 Well, sir, I really don't see the value in you comparing yourself 256 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,806 so closely to Gavin Belson. 257 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,720 Meaning what, exactly? 258 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,606 Nothing. Just that 259 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,409 he's considered the greatest showman the tech world has ever seen. 260 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,809 I mean, just look at him. 261 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:27,249 We've blown away the Fl PS 140-2 standard for security, 262 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,770 and that's been certified by NIST/CSE, as you can see. 263 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,888 - Wow. - There. 264 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,440 Look at the confidence, the poise. 265 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:37,885 Look at the stage presence. 266 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,849 It is accessible, 267 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,806 here we go, 268 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,888 through the dropdown menu there. 269 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,440 How could I top that? 270 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,761 Oh, I don't think anyone ever will. 271 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,760 When he looked at you, 272 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,129 you felt like you were the only two people in the world. 273 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,281 Hoover? 274 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:56,807 Yes, sir? 275 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,287 Get the fuck out of my office this instant. 276 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,361 Sorry, sir. 277 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,728 Anyone here use our enterprise server? 278 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,768 We've taken secure authentication to a whole other level. 279 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,128 Jack Barker, you're gonna need a miracle. 280 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,045 Anyone care to talk secure biometrics? 281 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,128 Well, considering our looming debts and the embryonic state of our network, 282 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,282 this is a very generous offer. 283 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,164 But we're not for sale, guys. 284 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,323 Richard, listen, it's like we've been lost at sea for a long time 285 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,402 in a tiny boat and there is no wind, 286 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,450 and now, through sheer luck, 287 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,602 we've just happened to drift right up to Hawaii. 288 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,528 Now, we can continue sailing into the unknown 289 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,570 and probably sink, or die of starvation, or scurvy, 290 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,166 or we can get off in Hawaii. 291 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,164 Let's get off in Hawaii. 292 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,441 What's so good about Hawaii? 293 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,443 - Have you never been? - No. 294 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,047 It's very nice. 295 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,521 I think we should take it. 296 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,967 Okay, everything Keenan touches turns to gold 297 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,965 and you are different than that. 298 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,970 I want to go to Hawaii. 299 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,609 Fucking Keenan Feldspar. 300 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,531 How dare he put me in this position. 301 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,206 Everything just comes so easy to him. 302 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,931 He invents one little thing, and then he's gonna make a billion dollars 303 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,526 and just, "Keenan Feldspar gets whatever he wants," 304 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,807 and now I have to be the ogre that says no to him. Great. 305 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,527 Richard, you are my captain, and I'm your mate, 306 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:22,207 and I will sleep in the bilge with the vermin and I will eat hardtack, 307 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,281 and I will say thank you. 308 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,407 And if duty requires, I will stand on deck and I will salute you 309 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,686 as we sink beneath the waves. 310 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:33,449 But as poor as our odds are, I'm worried that if we turn down this offer, 311 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,800 we will lose the rest of our crew, 312 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,930 and if that happens, we will lose everything, Richard. 313 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,926 Your algorithm. 314 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,565 So, you're saying that if I say no to this, 315 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,244 I risk having a mutiny on my hands. 316 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,964 Aye, Captain. 317 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,321 Thanks. 318 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,330 Fuck you, Keenan Feldspar. 319 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,766 Whoa. 320 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,321 Problem? 321 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,925 Your counteroffer here is really, really high. 322 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,561 Yes, but after crunching the old numbies, um, 323 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,802 there's no way we could make an acquisition work 324 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,962 for even just a penny less than that number right there. 325 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,969 You know, what with the patent and the IP. 326 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,042 And you said it yourself, my guys are the best. 327 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,290 So, Keenan, as you know, the best is expensive. 328 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,011 This is more than I just took in funding from Bream-Hall, 329 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,810 and you want all cash. 330 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,851 - I can't do that. - Really? 331 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,202 Aw. Rats. 332 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,401 Rats, rats, rats. 333 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,761 Weird. 334 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,202 I wanted this to happen, but it didn't. 335 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,811 That sucks. I wanted it, too. Very badly. 336 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,281 But, you know what they say in life, 337 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,201 "You can't always get what you want." 338 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,006 This feeling sucks. 339 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,720 Trust me, you get used to it. 340 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,164 Wait, Keenan said no? 341 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,761 To us? 342 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,127 I guess you can never really know someone 343 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,567 until you ask them to put their money where their mouth is. 344 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,126 Yeah, kind of a shitty thing to do. 345 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,004 Kind of a shitty little dude. 346 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,449 Anyway, lesson learned. 347 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,564 Anyhoo, as soon as Erlich comes in 348 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:24,368 and brings us our signed data storage contract from Keenan, we'll be all set. 349 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,567 We'll be back in business. 350 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,211 Huh? Go team. 351 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,806 Let's celebrate. Let's, uh, put on some music. We never do that. 352 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,921 What was the number? 353 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,008 - What number? - Your counteroffer to Keenan, 354 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,809 what was the number you went back to him with? 355 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,769 Gilfoyle, to be honest, these deals are pretty complicated. 356 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,962 Richard, what was the number? 357 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,610 Twenty-five million fucking dollars. 358 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,764 - Wait, what? - You heard the man-child right. 359 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,169 Richie had the quail eggs to counter $25 million. 360 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,850 -Isn't that right, Richard? - What? 361 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,331 That's fucking crazy. 362 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,010 Yeah, I thought so, too. 363 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,806 But you know what's even crazier than that? 364 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,726 You guys got yourself a fucking deal. 365 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,360 What? 366 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,126 Okay, so, this is $25 million? This is real? 367 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,486 - As crystal. - Yeah. 368 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,200 I'm not gonna lie, when you first told me that number, 369 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,330 I had a feeling of mad. 370 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,849 But then I had lunch and after that I was a little tired, 371 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,285 but I mostly felt pretty okay. 372 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,568 And that's when it hit me, this is a guy who knows how valuable he is. 373 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,644 It got me to thinking that perhaps I've undervalued my own company. 374 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,043 Especially because now I have this baller algorithm 375 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,485 that's solving all my latency issues. 376 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,601 Well, my algorithm. 377 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,809 So, I called Big Cat here, and we slid that new demo over to Raviga. 378 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,722 Ed Chen liked it so much he offered to triple the Bream-Hall deal. 379 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,770 But the Bream-Hall deal is signed, it's done, right? 380 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,121 Was done. 381 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,682 Enter the keyman, the Big Cat. 382 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,847 You see, if I quit Bream-Hall, then Keenan is free to do whatever he wants. 383 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,604 You quit Bream-Hall? 384 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,767 Two hours ago. 385 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,049 Ten minutes later, we were in a handshake deal at Raviga. 386 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,930 This adorable little wombat made clear his intentions 387 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,243 that he wants me to be the new COO of his company, 388 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,527 along with a 5% stake. 389 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,164 And now we can all work together on this dope-ass shit 390 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,408 and make a fuck-ton of money while we're doing it. 391 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,801 See, it always works out. 392 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,281 - It does. Who's drinking? To the palapa. - Yeah. 393 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,765 Pour me one, Big Cat. 394 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,125 Jared, there's no pink glasses. 395 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,682 Richard, I know you think I'm a bullshit artist. 396 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,042 It's okay. I totally am. 397 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,289 I have this gift where I can make people do whatever I want them to do, 398 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,010 -and they don't even realize they're doing it. - Right. 399 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,004 Richard, you have the greatest technology that I've ever seen. 400 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,445 You could change the fucking world. 401 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,642 You just have to get people excited about it. 402 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,721 That's where I come in. 403 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,361 You and me together, bro, look how strong this is. 404 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,487 Fucking forget about it. 405 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,291 We're going to be fucking cutting class and crushing ass. 406 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,243 You really think that you can get people excited about Pied Piper? 407 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,801 Richard, that's what I do. 408 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,483 You know you're doing it. I can see it. 409 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,961 - He knows. - Well... 410 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,530 - The wheels are already turning. - Maybe. 411 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,001 Come on, you know you're fucking doing it. Let's do it, buddy. 412 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,282 - Let's fucking do it. Come on. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. 413 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,171 - All right, here you go. - I'm just gonna wait. 414 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,288 - Okay. Here you are. - Yeah. 415 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,771 Get out there. 416 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,811 - Richard... - Yeah. 417 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,927 Are we okay? 418 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,162 Uh, no, Jared, we're not okay. 419 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,241 We're fucking rich. 420 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,607 Whoo! 421 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,808 Sorry, it's a bit nutty around here. 422 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,441 Yeah, well, I just want to say 423 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,047 how sorry I am that Erlich flaked on you guys. 424 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,567 Not your fault. 425 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,529 Also, and I know this might piss you off to some degree... 426 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,411 I have decided to make a deal with Keenan Feldspar. 427 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,126 What? Why? 428 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,090 He made a really good offer. 429 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,446 Lots of money. 430 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,688 And, look, he's got my back. 431 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,242 Right, well, it's not like him to talk you into a deal 432 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,163 and then just totally fuck you over. 433 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,281 Yeah. 434 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,131 No, look, he's copped up to all that. 435 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,727 I mean, he was very honest about the whole Keenan vortex thing, so... 436 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,729 Well, you don't think his discussing the vortex 437 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,723 is just a way of pulling you into the vortex? 438 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,083 No, why would he... 439 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,646 Son of a bitch. 440 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,121 Yeah. 441 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,082 Okay, look, Richard... 442 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,768 What I'm about to tell you is a huge breach of ethics, 443 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,491 but it's going to save you from making a big mistake, 444 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,287 Keenan and Erlich's little keyman game 445 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,284 is the greatest thing that happened to this firm. 446 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,806 I'd like to hear why. 447 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,889 A, no more Erlich. 448 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,765 And if that weren't enough, we get our $20 million back. 449 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,763 But the biggest reason is that we realized 450 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,367 once we took a look under the hood, Keenan's tech is dog shit. 451 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,768 No. No, it's not dog shit. 452 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,407 I thought so, too, but then I tried the demo, and it's pretty amazing. 453 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,450 There's this point in the tavern where you meet this barmaid 454 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,047 and you can look wherever you want however long you want. 455 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,286 Yeah, well, um... 456 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,522 Look, the demo is amazing. 457 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,883 When you run it on a $10,000 rig. 458 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,088 But the future of VR is mobile, 459 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,089 and there's no phone on Earth that could handle that demo, 460 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,924 let alone the full bloated platform. 461 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,004 Isn't that why Keenan has acquired us? 462 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,730 I mean, to help him figure that out? 463 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,802 No, he just wants you to make the demo better 464 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,406 so he can take as much money off the table as he can. 465 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,561 He'll walk away rich, 466 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,962 the company will crater, and you will go down with it. 467 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,247 And that would be the end of Pied Piper. 468 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,689 Look, Richard, you have to tell Keenan that you're not going to take this deal. 469 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,489 Fuck. What do I do? 470 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,531 How am I supposed to tell the guys that I'm taking away their payday? 471 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,687 You don't understand. 472 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,728 Keenan had us pouring champagne all over each other 473 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,291 like a bunch of fucking douchebags. 474 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,289 I honestly don't think they even care that the tech is shit. 475 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,606 They just wanna go to Hawaii. 476 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,686 - Hawaii? -It's a metaphor we've been using. 477 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,085 Um, we are pirates and our ship is sinking, 478 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,564 and Keenan is Hawaii. 479 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,208 This is what you talk about all day? 480 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,843 Look, this deal was our only hope. 481 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,690 And with all due respect, uh, 482 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:29,409 you run your own firm and you're not exactly jumping at the chance to fund us, are you? 483 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,403 Because you're still theoretical. 484 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,481 Look, I'll make you a promise. 485 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,324 If you can get all of Melcher's data 486 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,450 onto a stable network of mobile devices and prove that this works, 487 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,449 - I will fund your A-round. - Really? 488 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,806 You have my word. 489 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,162 But you have to tell Keenan, "No deal." 490 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,164 Uh, guys? 491 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,607 Oh, he came in the front this time. 492 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,606 So, we need to talk to you. 493 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,604 You need to talk to me? 494 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,530 You may want to have a seat. 495 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,166 Okay. 496 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,849 Is that a new sweater? 497 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,482 Hey, Richard, there's some bad news. 498 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,365 Richard, right before Keenan signed the Raviga deal, 499 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,367 somebody else swooped in and offered him an absurd amount of money for his company. 500 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,251 And he took it. 501 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,527 Really? 502 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,084 So, Keenan sold his company? 503 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,921 Deal's off the table. 504 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,843 We're not going to Hawaii. 505 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,606 Oh. 506 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,446 No. 507 00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,886 Oh. 508 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,480 No. 509 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,123 Listen, Richard, we know you fought really hard for this deal. 510 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,611 We will never forget that. 511 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,446 Yeah, I did. And I would gladly fight for it and you guys again. 512 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,046 Gosh. Damn. 513 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,810 Argh. 514 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,725 You don't seem that mad. 515 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,848 I am. lam, Gilfoyle. I'm pissed. 516 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,924 If you need to kick another hole in the door, we'd understand. 517 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,008 Yeah. No, I might have to. 518 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,406 Really. I just... 519 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,284 If I don't calm down, I will... 520 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,050 I will take you up on that. 521 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,646 Who, uh... 522 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,401 Who did he sell to? 523 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,884 The only other company that could guarantee viable middle-out compression. 524 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,846 - Hooli. - Yep. 525 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,570 Hooli? He sold to Hooli. 526 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,285 - What a dick move. - Yeah. 527 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,442 I mean, that's not the half of it. 528 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,690 And once he figured out what Erlich's 5% would be worth, 529 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:52,801 he left him out in the cold. 530 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,880 What, he got Erlich to quit his job, and then cut him out of the deal? 531 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,089 Mmm-hmm. - Jesus. 532 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,607 We thought you were cursed, but maybe it was just your proximity to Erlich. 533 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,688 I mean, that dude must have driven a van over a bunch of gypsies in a previous life. 534 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:11,961 Where is he? 535 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,730 I saw him grab his lighter and bong 536 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,167 and head out to the palapa to sulk a few minutes ago. 537 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:20,930 Isn't that his bong right there? 538 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,487 Well, shit. 539 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,287 Guys, there's a fire. We need the fire guys. 540 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:37,521 Someone call the fire guys. 541 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,281 Erlich? 542 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,401 Hey, buddy. 543 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,651 Still not talking? 544 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,561 You've been out here all night. It's freezing. 545 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,687 Sure you don't want to come back inside? 546 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,046 Yeah, it was a nice palapa. 547 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,403 Well, the concrete's still pretty warm from the fire. 548 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,683 He should be okay for at least a few more hours. 549 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,207 Well, that's probably longer than we'll be in business. 550 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,002 Yeah, we got our first past due notice from Azure. 551 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,242 They said we have five business days till they cut us off. 552 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,366 If you guys want to feel worse, check this out. 553 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,450 Come join us for an epic gathering 554 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,844 where we come together as one people, as visionaries. 555 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,762 Is this not the most exciting time to be in technology? 556 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,488 -- The whole thing is just, like, wow. 557 00:26:54,560 --> 00:27:00,203 The most transformative technology event in the world, Hoolicon. 558 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,850 See you all at Hoolicon. 559 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,650 I hope you're excited. 560 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,724 - I know "VR." - Yeah, "VR." 561 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,128 Fucking Keenan Feldspar. 562 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,647 Jared, how many people attend Hoolicon? 563 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,680 About a quarter of a million over the whole weekend. 564 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,725 And, Gilfoyle, um, how many more phones do we need to get us off Azure? 565 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,884 123,000, give or take. 566 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,884 Dinesh, how much are tickets to Hoolicon? 567 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,650 Why would I have that information?