1
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,604
That's a good one, Richard.

2
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,923
No, but seriously, what brings you in today?

3
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,411
No, I am serious.

4
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,209
I would like an STD check.

5
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,408
What, did you graze your penis
against a toilet seat?

6
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,280
- No. I had sex.
- Sex with what?

7
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,806
- Female.
- A female what?

8
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,487
A female human.

9
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,770
And I don't know this woman very well,
and we didn't use a condom.

10
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,410
Now listen, Richard,
I wouldn't worry so much.

11
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,721
People don't really get STDs anymore.

12
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,006
We'll get your test back soon,

13
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,243
and I would tell you not to have sex
before then, but let's face it,

14
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,004
lightning ain't gonna strike twice, is it?

15
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,206
it's possible.

16
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,282
- Huh?
-It's possible.

17
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,887
No.

18
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,611
Hey, here's something strange.

19
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,769
Would you mind hopping up
on that scale for a sec?

20
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,683
Okay. Why, am I gaining weight?

21
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,650
I have been working like crazy,
eating like crap.

22
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,246
I haven't been exercising at all really, so...

23
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,481
Yeah. Look at that.

24
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,325
You are an inch shorter
than you were this time last year.

25
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,366
You're shrinking, my friend.

26
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,044
How's that possible?

27
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,646
Well, you just told me.
It's your unhealthy lifestyle, Richard.

28
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,722
It's a loss of mineral bone density.

29
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,001
So, what do I do?

30
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,923
I'm gonna put you on calcium supplements,

31
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,923
and I'm gonna have you come back
in about three weeks.

32
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,001
I'll see you then.

33
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,411
Or whatever's left of you.

34
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,090
So, Erlich, good news.

35
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,322
Keenan Feldspar signed his term sheet

36
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,244
and we are now officially negotiating
the finer points of his deal.

37
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,481
Fantastic!

38
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,086
Well, now, the real work begins.

39
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,607
To that end, we would like to clarify
our arrangement with you.

40
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,969
We feel that a generous finder's fee
will be more than satisfactory.

41
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,605
This meeting is over.

42
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,601
This is very generous,

43
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:01,601
but I was under the impression that, um,
I was going to be hired here.

44
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,604
And I've actually told quite a few people
that I was hired,

45
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,127
so if I wasn't,
then it would look like I was fired.

46
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,645
That is fine.

47
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,841
No.

48
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:16,562
Laurie, I will not allow you to make
the same mistake

49
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,325
that Uber, Palantir, Zenefits,

50
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,246
and in my earlier years, Chipotle
made by not hiring me.

51
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,444
All right. Don't hire me.

52
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,161
But can you hack this finder's fee
into 52 installments,

53
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,163
paid weekly over the course of the next year?

54
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,322
You mean, a salary?

55
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,765
Those are your words, not mine.

56
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:42,165
The finder's fee and 10,000 to go away?

57
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,404
You know, looking around at Bream-Hall,
I see a lot of the same.

58
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,081
Same gender...

59
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,845
Both partners happen to be female, Erlich.

60
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,763
Great catch. What's your point?

61
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,640
There is a grotesque gender imbalance
in the VC field right now.

62
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,281
I can help you navigate the toxicity
of this male culture,

63
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,931
which is encroaching on our feminist island.

64
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,004
I mean, for instance, there's something
called mansplaining.

65
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,361
- Have you heard about this?
- We know what mansplaining is.

66
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,684
Mansplaining is when a man will
condescendingly explain something

67
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,081
to a woman that she already knows.

68
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,488
Mr. Bachman, we have work to do.

69
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,527
All right.

70
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,286
Laurie, half the finder's fee for me to stay.

71
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,283
I don't think that you'll find an associate,

72
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,241
um, with my track record at a better price.

73
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,884
It's my final offer. Take it or leave it.

74
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,206
I need this.

75
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,048
Fine. You may start Monday.

76
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,406
Okay. Ooh.

77
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,641
This Monday?

78
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,164
That's fine. Of course.

79
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,446
What's that?

80
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,490
SonicWall SonicPoint A.C.E.,

81
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,363
paired with the T.Z. 600.

82
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,249
Top-of-the-line firewall protection,

83
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,405
built-in intrusion prevention,
SSL decryption and inspection,

84
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,404
application control, and content filtering.

85
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,960
Saying "new router"
would be so much quicker.

86
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,724
Dinesh, the one good thing that came

87
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,531
out of you slapping your body
against that cyberterrorist

88
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,364
in a vulgar parody of the act of love

89
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,808
is that we finally have a network
with real security value.

90
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,120
Why would we need it?

91
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,921
Mia is in a federal facility
with no access to the Internet.

92
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,001
Right.

93
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,926
And she has never shown a proclivity
for getting around infrastructure.

94
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,088
Did you see this?
We've only been live for two weeks

95
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,606
and we just cracked the top 500
in the Hooli app store.

96
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,045
Oh, look at that.

97
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,451
Ranked 499.

98
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,681
Of utilities.

99
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,610
Yeah. Subgroup mobile, subgroup storage.
True.

100
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,645
But, overall, we're firmly in the top 30,000
HooliPhone apps.

101
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:54,489
I mean, we may not be a global epidemic yet,
but we've leapt from bat saliva to humans,

102
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,040
and we've just killed our first few villagers.

103
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,121
This warm.

104
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:01,727
This warm.

105
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,606
This warm.

106
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,125
- This warm.
- I get it, Jian-Yang!

107
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,846
The refrigerator's broken.

108
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,161
The ice cream is melting.

109
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,322
Let me guess, is it because it's warm?

110
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,526
- Yes.
- Fine.

111
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,968
I'll call the repairman,
and he'll come here and fix it posthaste.

112
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,521
No.

113
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,286
I want a new fridge.

114
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,409
A smarter fridge like this.

115
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,243
$14,000 for a smart fridge?

116
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,527
Unlike you, I now work for a living.

117
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,927
I'm not gonna drop that kind of dough
on a fridge.

118
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,401
I ordered already. I buy it for myself.

119
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,851
Then why are you talking to me about it?

120
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,843
To make you feel bad.

121
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,571
Because you're fat and poor.

122
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,361
Go for Erlich.

123
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,283
E. Bachman. E. Chen.

124
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,361
Got your message.

125
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,851
<i>Bream-Hall, huh?</i>

126
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,126
Yes. Starting today.

127
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,168
<i>I hope that this doesn't create</i>

128
00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,881
any tension between us,
us now being competitors and all.

129
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,007
Hey. None-zo.

130
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:06,165
<i>Hey, while I have you, some of the boys are
part of the ownership group of the Warriors.</i>

131
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,131
We have an extra spot on the floor
at Oracle Arena. You a hoops guy?

132
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,921
Oops. Uh, sorry, you broke up.
Could you, uh... Could you say that again?

133
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,370
<i>We have an extra spot on the floor tonight
at Oracle Arena.</i>

134
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,766
<i>You a hoops guy?</i>

135
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,561
What red-blooded American male
in the VC boys' club isn't?

136
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,003
Okay, cool. I'll text you the deets.

137
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,206
<i>Later, man.</i>

138
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,048
Well, boys.
I've been in the VC game for just one day,

139
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,164
and already I have floor seats
to watch the Warriors.

140
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,730
But you hate basketball.

141
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,690
I'll concede that spending all my time
inside of a house

142
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,207
with you scrawny code jockeys,
the Incredible Shrinking Hendricks,

143
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,931
and whatever the fuck Jared is here...

144
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,288
...may have blunted my conventional
masculinity a hair.

145
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,169
- But it's always been there.
- Uh-huh.

146
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,129
Well, try and get a selfie with Steph Curry.

147
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,761
I will, assuming she's there.

148
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,601
Hey, Jared, um, look at this e-mail here.

149
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,365
Uh, "Dear Richard, I recently became aware
of your Space Saver app.

150
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,245
"I think your app may infringe upon
my own patented technology.

151
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,645
"If your schedule permits, I would love
to discuss this with you as soon as possible.

152
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,007
"Sincerely, Stewart Burke."

153
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,447
What, I thought we handled the patent stuff.
We own it, right?

154
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,047
Yeah. I'll send him a harshly worded
cease and desist letter.

155
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,848
Actually, uh, his work address
is some house in Mountain View.

156
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,611
He's probably just working
out of his garage, just like us.

157
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,126
Why don't I go over there,
walk him through the app,

158
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,486
you know, coder to coder.

159
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,721
I'm sure it'll be fine.

160
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,450
You've got a big heart.

161
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,081
Or maybe just seems big,
'cause the rest of him is shrinking.

162
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,290
Hi. Richard Hendricks.

163
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,448
- We exchanged e-mails?
- No.

164
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,921
- Are you Stewart Burke?
- No.

165
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,489
- I'm sorry. Does Stewart Burke live here?
- Yeah.

166
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,721
Okay.

167
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,245
Is he in? Can I speak with him?

168
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,322
Grandpa! Some guy's here.

169
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,528
My grandson is the software expert.

170
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,444
I couldn't tell a computer from a toaster.

171
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,848
Oh. So, you're not a coder?

172
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,888
Oh, no. Not at all.

173
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,564
I am an attorney.

174
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,523
I started out in the medical field,
then the auto industry,

175
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,170
and then the music business.

176
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,129
Did you represent all these people?

177
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,804
No, I sued them.

178
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,688
Look, that's me with Stevie Wonder.

179
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,125
He never saw it coming.

180
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,607
Do you get it?

181
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,886
Yes, because he's blind.

182
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,405
Right.

183
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,201
I'm sorry, I don't know what this has to do...

184
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,361
You see this?

185
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,250
This is a song I bought at a copyright auction.

186
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,530
It's an old mariachi number that cost me
practically nothing,

187
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,686
and so far has bought me two houses
and put my village idiot grandson

188
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,161
-through six years of Emerson.
- Oh.

189
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,926
<i>All that from Cancion de Amores?</i>

190
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,923
- Was it a popular song?
- No.

191
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,528
I used the copyright on this song
to sue writers of all kinds of songs.

192
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:05,124
Anyway, the writers usually settle,
pay me off, or give me a chunk of their song.

193
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,207
<i>Thanks to Cancion de Amores</i> here,

194
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,490
I now own 10% of Katrina and the Waves'
Walking on Sunshine.

195
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,686
- Mmm.
-It's a classic.

196
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,210
And when it runs next month
on Mazda's new Super Bowl spot,

197
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,486
I print money.

198
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,522
But sadly, all the good music copyrights
are gone.

199
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,250
That is so sad.

200
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,288
And that's why I moved into tech.

201
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,889
And now I sue people like you.

202
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,440
What?

203
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,770
So, he's a patent troll?

204
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,921
Yep.

205
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,403
Guys like him buy a ton of super broad IP
from failed startups at auction,

206
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:47,611
and then threaten litigation against
accused infringers, i.e. you.

207
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,884
So, uh, how much is Burke asking for?

208
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,610
$20,000.

209
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,409
Ah. You're getting off easy.

210
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,088
Well, no. Look, his patent covers
"storage of media files on a network."

211
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,328
I mean, that cannot be enforceable.

212
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,970
It's probably not.

213
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,686
But to find out, you're gonna have
to fight him in court.

214
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,285
For a good litigator, we're talking at least
couple hundred grand.

215
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,169
Just pay him the 20 grand, Richard.

216
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,891
I could get creative and take some money
out of the Melcher deal.

217
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:15,961
There you go.

218
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,121
No. We need that money.

219
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,725
This is a shakedown. He's a crook.

220
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,450
And right when our app
is getting off the ground.

221
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,760
Well, that's how he found you.

222
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,648
Guys just landed on the app store top 500 list,

223
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,767
-right?
- Yeah.

224
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,129
So, Burke starts at the bottom of those lists,
works his way up.

225
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,806
The more settlements he gets,
the stronger his case.

226
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,167
Higher you are on the list,
the more money he asks for.

227
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,647
It's like... It's like limp biscuit.

228
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,085
He sued those guys, too?

229
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,522
Not the band, the thing the band
is named after.

230
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,523
Limp biscuit's an old frat ritual

231
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,809
where all the brothers race to stroke one out
onto a biscuit,

232
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,565
and then the last guy to nut has to eat it.

233
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,404
Right. Sometimes it's a Wheat Thin.

234
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,562
Look, Richie. I get it.

235
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,369
It's embarrassing to pull your pud
in front of the whole pledge class.

236
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,851
Just pay the 9W-

237
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:12,604
Or maybe we convince the entire pledge class
to not play the game at all in the first place.

238
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,247
Lr only...

239
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,485
This must be the new fridge.

240
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,561
You like this?

241
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,849
Look, it has a screen so you can see
all the food that's inside.

242
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,161
Mmm-hmm. Kind of like that one?

243
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,040
This one has an app, so you can actually
watch the food on your phone.

244
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,090
All it needs to do is keep my fuckin' beer cold.

245
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,805
<i><i>Hmm. You're running low on beer.</i>

246
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:39,927
Fuck you.

247
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,363
<i>Whoops!
Did you forget to scan that bar code?</i>

248
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,044
Yes, I did.

249
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,485
On purpose.

250
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,169
Ah, there we go.

251
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,480
It's bad enough it has to talk.

252
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,564
Does it need fake vocal tics like "ah"?

253
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,529
Well, it just makes it sound more human.

254
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,681
Humans are shit.

255
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,047
This thing is addressing problems
that don't exist.

256
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,565
It's solutionism at its worst.

257
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,611
We are dumbing down machines
that are inherently superior.

258
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,728
Whatever. You gave your server
a human name.

259
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,609
You named it Anton.

260
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,849
Yeah, but Anton doesn't call me anything.

261
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:15,084
He grimly does his work, then he sits
motionless till it's time to work again.

262
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,889
We could all take a page from his book.

263
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,240
<i>Uh-Oh!</i>

264
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,970
<i>That yogurt is expired!</i>

265
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,520
See? This could have killed me.

266
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,243
Now I can give it to Erlich.

267
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,608
<i>Hmm.
I'm not quite sure what you're doing.</i>

268
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:37,966
<i>ls there something I can help you with?</i>

269
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,042
Yeah, how do I shut you the fuck up?

270
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,924
<i>Aw.
Is somebody having</i> a <i>rough day?</i>

271
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,731
Did that fucker password protect
the settings?

272
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,211
His fridge, his rules.

273
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:47,807
Fuck.

274
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,289
My man, I was told I had a spot
on the floor tonight,

275
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,046
but it seems that I've committed
the cardinal sin of being early.

276
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,009
What time does the game actually start?

277
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,761
It's about to.

278
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,282
Wait, when he said a spot on the floor,
did he mean on the floor?

279
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,724
I wasn't part of the conversation.

280
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,884
Come on, baby. Come on, bring it.

281
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,767
I cannot do that.

282
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,490
All right. You guys go shirts.

283
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:21,607
We'll go skins.

284
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,684
And I can definitely not do that.

285
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,606
Will not.

286
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,281
Don't let him drive on you.

287
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,408
All day!

288
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,804
Yo, Erlich. Where you at, dog?

289
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,251
<i>Yo, what up, what up, what up?</i>

290
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,847
Which one of you pussies, uh,
put sugar in my gas tank

291
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,161
to prevent me from housing you
on the hardwood?

292
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,207
What?

293
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:48,691
Yeah. My car won't start.

294
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,330
It's a real fucked situation.

295
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,722
So, I guess I'll have to miss this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to...

296
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,404
Dude, we play every Tuesday.

297
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,090
I'll see you next week, Broseph.

298
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,606
Hey. Let me in. Let me get in. Let me get in.

299
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,843
Hey, I squished those front-end bugs.

300
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,288
- Um, did you finish your networking issue?
- Nope.

301
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,130
<i>Hmm.</i>
I'm sorry, wrong password.

302
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,682
You're sitting here trying to hack
Jian-Yang's password

303
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,330
instead of doing your actual work?

304
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,081
Well, good luck, it's a 10-digit alphanumeric.

305
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,045
Ten digit? Fuck.

306
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,963
And you have one underpowered laptop,

307
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,929
so you know, you should have the answer...

308
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,571
In 9,000 years.

309
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,645
Time to pull out the big gun.

310
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,802
Well, maybe you should pull out the bug gun.

311
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,324
'Cause of the network bug.

312
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,681
As in the bug you're supposed to be fixing.

313
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,370
If you were programmed to have
a good sense of humor, you'd laugh at that.

314
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,965
Oh, I'm sorry.

315
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,247
<i>I didn't see any Good Humor ice cream bars.</i>

316
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,890
<i>Shall I add them to your shopping list?</i>

317
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,008
You know what? Yeah.

318
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,202
<i>Good Humor ice cream bars
added to your shopping list.</i>

319
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,406
Come on.

320
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,723
- God, you believe this? I'm still on hold.
- With?

321
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,086
Microsoft Azure.

322
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,562
Yeah, I'm trying to negotiate
a lower cloud storage rate,

323
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,484
'cause we're gonna need it if,
or more realistically,

324
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,131
when, Richard finally decides to pay
that patent troll.

325
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,328
Ugh. I mean, I'm still on hold.

326
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,287
It's like they don't even care
about small businesses.

327
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,727
Jared, they don't care about
small businesses.

328
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,768
That's why small businesses have to lie.

329
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,128
Like, um, Google named their first building
"Building 40"

330
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,328
so that people would think
they were already huge.

331
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,890
When I worked at my first startup,

332
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,928
I would transfer people to "my supervisor"

333
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,890
and then I'd just get back
on the phone myself.

334
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,162
Oh. Uh, yeah, hello.

335
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,247
No, no. I'm not gonna go on hold again.

336
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,927
Um, in fact, could I transfer you
to my supervisor?

337
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,885
Uh...

338
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,964
Oh, no, no, no.
I have to take a shit.

339
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,566
Just, um, do your best Ed Chen impression.

340
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,365
One moment please.

341
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,131
What's up?
You've got Ed, uh, Chambers.

342
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,006
Hello, everybody. Thanks again for making it.

343
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,287
And thanks to Gus of Gigglybots for hosting.

344
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,327
No problem.

345
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,768
My name is, uh, Richard Hendricks, uh,
of Pied Piper.

346
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,524
You're the guys working for Gavin Belson.

347
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,411
Was working with Gavin Belson, yeah.

348
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,290
- So, he's not coming?
- No. No, not at all.

349
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,922
But I'll have you all know that without
any involvement from Gavin Belson,

350
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,722
Pied Piper, just like yourselves, has reached
the Hooli app store's top 500 list.

351
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:37,769
And you guys are aware that you are all
directly above us on the list,

352
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:43,051
which is why you should know that
a patent troll named Stewart Burke

353
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,170
has recently demanded that I pay
a $20,000 licensing fee.

354
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:52,326
And if I pay, he's gonna come
and ask you guys for more money.

355
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,731
He starts With the little guy.

356
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,241
Not that I'm little. I'm, uh...

357
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,685
I mean, I'm not.

358
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,284
I'm actually, uh...

359
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,285
Above average height.

360
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,243
Isn't this something that could have been
done over e-mail?

361
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,446
I mean, I guess.

362
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,841
But look, if we don't stop this guy,

363
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,730
he's gonna just keep asking
for more and more money

364
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,451
until someone is stuck with an unpayable bill.

365
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,047
It's kind of like that old fraternity game,
the limp biscuit.

366
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,562
Sorry, I wasn't in a fraternity.

367
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:25,607
Uh, what is that?

368
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,569
I don't think we need to get into...

369
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,486
It's where guys stand in a circle
and masturbate onto a cracker.

370
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,885
And then the last guy eats it.

371
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:36,761
What?

372
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,007
Again...

373
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,690
I don't really know
why he would mention that.

374
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,364
It's super gross.

375
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,488
Is this why Gavin Belson
stopped working with you?

376
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,561
No.

377
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,087
The important thing is here,

378
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,960
my lawyer has actually drafted
a partnership agreement.

379
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,280
Why don't you all just...

380
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:59,810
Essentially, we all band together
and each contribute $20,000.

381
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:04,124
We should have more than enough money to
mount a challenge against this guy's patent.

382
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,248
And if we win, we dissolve the patent

383
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,687
so that he can't do this
to anyone else ever again.

384
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:13,721
Because in the end, shouldn't it be
Mr. Stewart Burke, the patent troll,

385
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,371
who's forced to eat the biscuit?

386
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,930
I'm pretty sure that's sexual assault.

387
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,923
Yeah, no one deserves that.

388
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,889
I know. That's not what I'm saying.

389
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,802
Look, I'm pretty sure it's even made up.

390
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,689
Like a donkey punch. You know?

391
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,411
Again, what is a donkey punch?

392
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,602
- It's when guys...
- Just don't.

393
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,281
Don't.

394
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,526
G-man.

395
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,280
You busy at the moment?

396
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,646
Very.

397
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:48,089
I'm about to set Anton loose on that
talking chrome beer coozy.

398
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:54,805
So, care to take a breather and help a pal
throw a basketball hoop on the old garage?

399
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:59,522
Why would you need help from a scrawny
code jockey such as myself?

400
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,090
Fine.

401
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,965
I'm perfectly capable of figuring it out myself.

402
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,241
All I need is... Ah!

403
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,401
May I borrow this hammer to pound in these
flamboyant little nails?

404
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,010
Those are screws.

405
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,206
Yeah, no, I...

406
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,081
Jared Dunn.

407
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,731
Yep, just a moment, please. I'll transfer you.

408
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,611
Go for Chambers.

409
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,649
Ned! I knew it was you.

410
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,530
Hey, did that pussy Jared
keep you on hold long?

411
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,691
I eat that motherfucker's lunch every day.

412
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,081
No, man. I literally eat his food.

413
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,529
What do you want? Uh-uh.

414
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:42,647
Ain't gonna happen.

415
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,165
That's as high as we go, homo.

416
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,446
Till next time, rook.

417
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,529
I mean, did you see that?

418
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,126
He's amazing.

419
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,123
- Who?
- Ed Chambers.

420
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,568
He got Pied Piper a great cloud storage rate
from Azure.

421
00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,201
And he's got the hookup on a couple of
pallets of Pamplemousse LaCroix

422
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,363
at, his words, "an amaze-balls price."

423
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,323
Wow. Good job, Jared.

424
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,324
Well, I mean, don't congratulate me.
Congratulate Ed Chambers.

425
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,370
- Ed Chambers is you.
- Well, I wish. But...

426
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,686
Gentlemen.

427
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,330
You all said that it couldn't be done,

428
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:20,482
but it appears as if Sir Richard
the Not-Short hath now slain the slimy troll.

429
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,044
Stu Burke? R. Hendricks.

430
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,565
I got word that you called.

431
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,247
I assume you spoke with my attorney,
Monsieur Ron Laflamme?

432
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,766
<i>STEWART". Yes, I did speak to Ron Laflamme.</i>

433
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,286
What, pray tell, did he tell you
when he called you?

434
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,931
<i>Well, I called him actually,
to tell him</i>

435
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,721
<i>that the eight companies you apparently
tried to organize against me</i>

436
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,764
<i>have reached out to me preemptively to settle.</i>

437
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:48,247
<i>And because I appreciated that,
I offered them a very, very reasonable rate.</i>

438
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,085
<i>So, Richard Hendricks, fuck...</i>

439
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,003
Okay. Uh, yeah.

440
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,281
Uh-huh.

441
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,451
I understand.

442
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,920
So, you're firm on that?

443
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,525
Well, bye, then.

444
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,327
- So, your coalition fucked us?
- Yes.

445
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,562
So, now we have to pay the $20,000.

446
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,167
Uh, not exactly.

447
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:16,485
Because he...
Stu is saying that since all eight companies

448
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,609
have now licensed the patent,
he has a stronger case against us.

449
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,207
So, um, he'd actually like more money.

450
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,090
- How much?
-$300,000.

451
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,602
So, we just ate the Wheat Thin, didn't we?

452
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,286
<i>Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't see any Wheat Thins.</i>

453
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,010
<i>Shall I add them to your shopping list?</i>

454
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,328
Eh, sure.

455
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,561
Well, let's hope that Melcher
doesn't hear about all this.

456
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,330
You guys don't need all these lights on,
do you?

457
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,481
Yes, we do.

458
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,968
Okay. Well, that should be fine.
We should be fine.

459
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,641
Um, fine from what?

460
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,881
That fridge is putting up a fight,

461
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,525
so I'm gonna have to try something
with Anton.

462
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,729
Might put a little strain on the wiring,
that's all.

463
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,731
I'll be in the garage.

464
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:02,887
Hey, Richard.

465
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,645
But you're not seriously gonna defend
yourself in court, right?

466
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,362
Well, Larry Flynt did it.

467
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,805
And Sir Walter Raleigh.

468
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,768
Although he lost and was publicly beheaded.

469
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,322
But you could argue that he eventually won
in the court of history.

470
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,606
I get it!

471
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,129
I should have settled. Okay? And I didn't.

472
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,606
And you're right, I will probably lose.

473
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,887
But I'm not going down without a fight.

474
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,521
And I've got all of Monahan's discovery
from the Hooli case right here,

475
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,931
so that's something.

476
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,281
Oh, my God.

477
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,126
This is from high school.

478
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:46,286
These are all my notes from the original build
of Pied Piper 1.0,

479
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:50,160
back when it was just some stupid
search app for music copyright...

480
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,246
It's...

481
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,689
Hold on, hold on.

482
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,450
What the fuck?

483
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,568
Sorry. Everybody okay?

484
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,325
I don't know, you fucking maniac! Are we?

485
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,640
Probably.

486
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,801
JARED; Richard?

487
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,806
What are you up to?

488
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,327
About 6'2", Jared.

489
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,485
Looks like I can slay that troll, after all.

490
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,607
What am I looking at?

491
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:29,210
Well, you said that you used
Cancion <i>de</i> Amores to sue musicians.

492
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,362
You claimed that they stole that song, right?

493
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,126
Bought two houses,
put Jeremy through four years of college.

494
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,407
Six. And he's still 20 credits short.

495
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,966
Okay. Well, he may want
to consider financial aid.

496
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:46,169
Um, because that little song there was itself
stolen from an old country song

497
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,848
called I'm Cryin', parentheses, With <i>My</i> Eyes
from 1967.

498
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,481
A full eight years before Cancion <i>de</i> Amores.

499
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,609
And I'm pretty sure Katrina and the Waves
would want to know

500
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,810
that they gave you a piece of
Walking on Sunshine for nothing.

501
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,168
Mazda may want to pull that whole
Super Bowl spot.

502
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,447
- Bullshit.
- No, no. Not bullshit.

503
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,646
Computer science.

504
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,769
Yeah, and we can take it to court if you like,
see who they believe.

505
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:17,165
Perhaps the most advanced and sophisticated
pattern matching algorithm ever devised,

506
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,605
by a fucking genius.

507
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,288
Or some old asshole
who once sued Stevie Wonder.

508
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,286
All right.

509
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,050
What do you want, you little prick?

510
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,046
Correction, sir. I am a big prick.

511
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,249
Hello, my cold friend.

512
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,081
Hello?

513
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,925
<i>Huh.</i> Suck <i>it,</i> Jian-Yang. Mmm.

514
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,206
<i>Ah. Huh. Huh.</i>

515
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,487
You attack and destroy my refrigerator?

516
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,847
- And you misspell my name.
- I did.

517
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,251
Had to overclock Anton,

518
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,721
but I was able to brute-force
the backdoor password

519
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,245
to that chrome piece of shit

520
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,924
in under 12 hours.

521
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,889
And I added a little visual flair.

522
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,009
<i>Huh.</i> Suck <i>it,</i> Jian-Yang.

523
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,764
<i>Mmm. Ah. Huh.</i>

524
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,130
- So?
- So, he bought it,

525
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,406
hook, line, and sinker.

526
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,482
Yeah, he thinks the search results are real.

527
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,369
You trolled the troll.

528
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,488
Yeah, yeah.
For a second there, he wasn't buying it,

529
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,370
and then I just started babbling on
about tech specs,

530
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,726
and saw his eyes glaze over.

531
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:28,807
Well, as a result, we now have a perpetual,
royalty-free license for the patent.

532
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,046
Yes!

533
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:33,010
See? I stuck to my guns and as a result,

534
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,890
we now have 20 grand
we would have otherwise lost

535
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,282
if I'd have listened to you
delicate little snowflakes and settled.

536
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,291
Yeah? 20 grand.

537
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,363
Yeah? So, let me cum into a bucket
and have you all drink it.

538
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,601
Uh, Richard? Can I have a moment?

539
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,404
Sorry about that. I regretted it
the second it came out of my mouth.

540
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,720
Richard.

541
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,484
Well, yes. But...

542
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,841
Here.

543
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,967
What's this?

544
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,802
Um, that is a bill from Ron Laflamme

545
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,601
for the paperwork he had to do
to put your coalition of companies together.

546
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,081
-$22,000.
- Yeah.

547
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,322
It's at the high-end of standard.

548
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,404
So, it would have cost us slightly less
if we'd have just...

549
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,925
Paid the troll?

550
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,402
Well, that's true,
but can you put a price on dignity?

551
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,446
Apparently, I just did.

552
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,726
Do me a favor and, uh, don't tell the guys.

553
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,280
Yeah. You have my utmost discretion.

554
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,606
- Thank you.
- Um, speaking of,

555
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,728
Richard, I need to tell you something.

556
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,404
I had to let Ed Chambers go.

557
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,766
Who?

558
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,410
My fictional supervisor.

559
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,565
He bragged to a sales rep at LaCroix
about doing it to Sonia Sotomayor.

560
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,722
So, Ed is no longer with us.

561
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,891
I'm sure we can manage.

562
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,809
He also was never actually with us.

563
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:50,921
- Right.
-'Cause he was never real.

564
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,365
Out of sight, out of mind.

565
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,041
And out of reality.

566
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,121
Yeah, well...

567
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,321
Oh, Ed Chambers...

568
00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,890
Don't hit... No, no, no, no! Oh!

569
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,407
Fuck!

570
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:08,967
Yeah, a lot of these guys aren't man enough
to work for an all-female-led VC firm,

571
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,644
but not me.

572
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,643
I believe that the future is female.

573
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,564
And anyone who says otherwise
can suck my fat dick.

574
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,971
YO, yo:

575
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,485
Whoo!

576
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,728
Bachman, scoreboard.

577
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,086
Ah, scoreboard.

578
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,328
Fuck. Shit. Who made that one through the...

579
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,323
It was a three-pointer, dumb-ass!

580
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,402
Three-pointer.
What, are we in Europe?

581
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,840
Is he fucking with me?