1 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,367 I know it's the middle of the night. I really just need five minutes of your time. 2 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,564 Holy shit. What happened? 3 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,042 I was working through some issues. Mind the glass. 4 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,685 What the fuck is this? 5 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:46,564 It's a license for your peer-to-peer computer communication patent. 6 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,722 It's very standard stuff. 7 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,529 Uh, essentially, in exchange for your patent, 8 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:55,731 you would get a royalty and equity in the new company that I'm starting up. 9 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,247 So, if you just sign there, by the Post-it note, 10 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,324 and I will take it, and leave, and you will never see me again. 11 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:04,801 Are you joking? 12 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,730 Uh, well, I guess we could hang out. 13 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,325 Richard, stop talking. 14 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,526 I was just ousted from my own company, a company I built from the ground up. 15 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,967 My legacy is in ashes. 16 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,331 Come on. I wouldn't say that. 17 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,642 - Well, The Wall Street Journal said that. - Oh. 18 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,768 I lost everything because of something you did, 19 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,923 and you're here at 3:00 a.m. asking me for a favor? 20 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,970 Really? You're a mean person, Richard. You know that? 21 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,724 You're a bad guy. 22 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,649 No, no, no, no. I wouldn't say that. 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,802 I think maybe what's happening is that 24 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,531 you're just not understanding the technology I'm trying to build here. 25 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,364 Oh, so, now I'm stupid, too? 26 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,769 I know what the technology is, Richard. I have a patent on it. 27 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,842 What the fuck is the matter with you? 28 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:47,966 So, you're not gonna sign it? 29 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,644 No, I'm not gonna sign this! 30 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,768 Jesus, you're a fucking sadist, you know that? 31 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,041 You're demented. 32 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,488 I'm almost tempted to let you have a run at it, just to watch you waste your fucking time. 33 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,370 This technology did not work when Peter theorized it, 34 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,851 and it doesn't work now. 35 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,964 It... It actually does work now. 36 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,725 - It does. - Oh, really? 37 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,769 When did the laws of physics change? 38 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,488 When I exceeded the theoretical limit of compression at TechCrunch. 39 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,011 - You were there. - I know I was there, 40 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,890 thank you for bringing up that very painful memory. 41 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,970 Okay. 42 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,163 Can I... Can I just... 43 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,765 - What? - Draw on this? 44 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,324 Sure. Why not? It's shattered, just like I am. 45 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,166 I read Peter's notes, all of them. 46 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,723 And, uh, he knew that a peer-to-peer Internet was possible, in the future. 47 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:45,450 But he was also basing that on what, old desktop computers? 48 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:52,086 He never, ever, foresaw the ubiquity or power of all of our modern-day smartphones. 49 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,011 He was also dealing with a completely different Weissman limit. 50 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,571 So, uh, yeah. Yeah, okay. 51 00:02:58,680 --> 00:02:59,806 What is that? 52 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,405 Is that number correct? 53 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,602 The delta in mean device efficiency? 54 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,125 Yeah, it is. 55 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,403 See, eventually, over time, 56 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:12,691 this will render every server that Hooli operates obsolete. 57 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,564 Which would make Jack Barker shit himself. 58 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,126 - Holy shit. - You know what, actually, I'm gonna... 59 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,331 Welcome to the future, Gavin. 60 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,404 Whoa! Oh, no! Oh, no! 61 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,164 - Son of a bitch! - I'm sorry. 62 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,886 Wow, Dinesh. This front end design looks great. 63 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,650 - Thank you. - Nice work. 64 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,166 What's in that? 65 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,927 Uh, that is a burrito for the test. 66 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,331 - Good to know. - Oh. 67 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,641 Let him have it. 68 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,121 Gilfoyle thought he was too good to work on SeeFood, 69 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,850 and now he's about to lose a fortune. 70 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:57,967 - So. .. - Okay. 71 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,121 Ready for test. 72 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,565 After you, milady. 73 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,171 Oh, this is weird. Mia just texted me, "Good luck with the demo." 74 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,685 Did any of you guys tell her about this? 75 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,162 Your hacker girlfriend wouldn't happen to know 76 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,163 the model of our router, would she? 77 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,648 Yeah, actually. She complimented your choice. 78 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:15,921 Why didn't you say anything? 79 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,082 Why would I tell you she said something nice about you? 80 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,561 Dammit! 81 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,170 We have to assume she's everywhere. 82 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,724 Okay. It's ready. 83 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,205 Please, God. 84 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,370 What would you say if I told you there's an app on the market... 85 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,841 We're past that part! Just demo it. 86 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,971 Okay. Let's start with a hotdog. 87 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:48,966 Holy shit! 88 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,405 - Yes! - It works! 89 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:51,970 - Motherfuck! - Huzzah! 90 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,250 Jian-Yang, my beautiful little Asiatic friend, 91 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,005 I'm going to buy you the palapa of your life. 92 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,890 We will have 12 posts, braided palm leaves. 93 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,771 You'll never feel exposed again. 94 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,325 I'm gonna be rich. 95 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,640 Fuck you, Gilfoyle. 96 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,801 - Do pizza! - Yes, do pizza. 97 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,041 - Yeah. - Do pizza. 98 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,011 Pizza. 99 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,085 "Not hotdog"? 100 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,249 - Wait, what the fuck? - Huh? 101 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,291 That's it? It only does hotdogs? 102 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,403 No. And not hotdog. 103 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,570 Gimme that. Give it to me. 104 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,531 Jian-Yang. 105 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,926 Motherfuck. 106 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:39,250 I gave you the ability to spin gold, and instead you spun pubic hair, 107 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,402 with shit in it and gravel and corn. 108 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,527 Hold on, hold on. 109 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,331 Jian-Yang's actually put together a pretty good classifier. 110 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,565 You know, I mean, the core tech is valid. It just needs to be trained. 111 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,722 So, what he did for hotdogs, 112 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,849 he needs to repeat for every food in existence? 113 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,400 No. That's very boring work. 114 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,928 That's scraping the Internet for thousands of food pictures. 115 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,611 You can hire someone else. 116 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:06,441 We can't, because we just spent a big, fat stack of cash 117 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,885 on little Dinesh over here. 118 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,200 And there are other expenses. 119 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:14,202 Legal, marketing, operating fees, those goddamned AWS charges. 120 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,567 Fucking Bezos. 121 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,370 And so, we do not have the funds 122 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,131 to hire scut workers to do your scraping for you. 123 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,811 And thus, you will scrape the Internet. 124 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,285 You and you alone. 125 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,364 I'm sorry, the time to back out was before you signed the term sheet. 126 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,689 I'm gonna tell Laurie that this was a smashing success. 127 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,167 Go make it one. 128 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,480 Erlich was right. 129 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,443 You're a white witch. 130 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,447 Uh... 131 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,321 Oh. 132 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,568 Good. Yes, you are all here. 133 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:59,128 Um, I think it's probably time we all had a chat. 134 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,327 About what? 135 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,484 Well, I'm pretty sure you're all wondering where I've been. 136 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,450 - You were gone? - Yes. I was gone all week. 137 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,483 I saw you come out of the shower yesterday. 138 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,687 Okay. 139 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,008 Uh, well, obviously, I've been sleeping here at night. 140 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,446 But I've been gone during the day. 141 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,409 Pretty sure that shower was in the morning. 142 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,443 - That's part of the day, Richard. - Okay, Gilfoyle. 143 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,569 I've been sleeping here at night, and then I've been here for some mornings, 144 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,041 but I've left the house during the day. 145 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,804 We all leave the house during the day, Richard. 146 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,086 That's not weird. 147 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,045 I went to get coffee this morning. 148 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,930 Yeah, I went to the dispensary. 149 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,441 And then I'd smoked the weed before I got home, 150 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,090 so I went back to the dispensary. 151 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,207 You know what? 152 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,251 I just realized I haven't left the house in six days. 153 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,610 Now that's worth exploring. 154 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,969 Okay, I get it. Look, every day this week, I have been 155 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,401 -at Gavin Belson's house. - What? 156 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,727 Gavin has offered to go into business together. 157 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,281 But, look, I just came there for the patent. 158 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,362 And he was the one who wanted to be full partners. 159 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,241 What did you say? 160 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,363 We talked about it, and we agreed that it would be the best thing to do. 161 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,405 Oh, good Lord. Richard. No. 162 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,721 Guys, look. I have the patent. 163 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,321 I also have funding. 164 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,721 And real, genuine insight into the whole thing. 165 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,247 Let's not forget here that Gavin is a co-founder 166 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,687 of a bajillion-dollar tech company. 167 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,165 Are you out of your fucking mind? 168 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:23,370 When you don the skin of the beast, the man within dies. 169 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,851 What is that, Nietzsche? 170 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,922 One of the boys at my group home always said that. 171 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,081 He died. 172 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,889 You're not pulling Dinesh off SeeFood. 173 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,442 And I am not leaving SeeFood to go work for Gavin fucking Belson. 174 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:34,766 I'm not asking you to. 175 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:36,607 You're not? 176 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,524 Guys, do you not remember the last time we talked 177 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,046 about us all working with Gavin Belson? 178 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,449 Gilfoyle, you told me to chortle your balls. 179 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,648 And everybody else walked out of the room. 180 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,489 I know how much you hate him, 181 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,762 which is exactly why I told Gavin if we were gonna do this thing, 182 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,251 that you guys wouldn't be coming with. 183 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:59,087 So, we have hired a recruiter to find people to replace you guys. 184 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,566 Even me? 185 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,725 Well, no. You don't really need to be replaced. 186 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,729 It's true. I can't be replaced. 187 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:13,051 Well, when you left video chat, you did keep the rights to the algorithm. So... 188 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,442 I mean, it's weird, but I guess it's really none of our business. 189 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,170 It's my fucking business. 190 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,085 - I now own 10%... -5%, actually. 191 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,523 - What? -10% of my half of the company is 5%. 192 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,562 But I mean, look, your shares are gonna be worth a whole lot more than they ever would, 193 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,723 now with the patent and Gavin being involved, so... 194 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,968 So, then we're all good here, I guess. Right? 195 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,451 I think that's right. 196 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,851 Weird. 197 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,008 All right. Well, thanks for understanding. 198 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,011 You're welcome. 199 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,842 I don't think we need to be afraid of the Wi-Fi. 200 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,242 It's pronounced "Wifey," and clearly you don't understand 201 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,005 the threat level of the person that you're sexually disappointing. 202 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,446 We're going hard wire. 203 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,921 What about my phone? 204 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,769 You mean the thing that tracks your movement, 205 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,604 and every interaction you have? 206 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,170 Literally, your fingerprint? 207 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,562 The second you're on Wi-Fi it's like you're leaving her alone with your phone. 208 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,480 So, actually leaving her alone with my phone, 209 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,965 that would be bad? 210 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,885 You fucking idiot. 211 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,240 I was in the bathroom. 212 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,601 For how long? 213 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,766 Awhile. 214 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,000 Who's that? 215 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,449 Oh, Richard's meeting with Brett Saxby. 216 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,121 From Hooli? 217 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,283 Formerly. The recruiter sent him over. 218 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,562 He's interviewing him for Head of Engineering. 219 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,882 Why? That guy sucks. 220 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,723 Why is Richard in there with Brett Saxby? 221 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,925 He was in Gavin's inner circle. 222 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,646 Is Richard aware of that? 223 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,691 Is anyone taking notes? Does Richard even have a pen? 224 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,491 That's so funny. 225 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,490 It's 10:00 a.m. 226 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,245 Why are they drinking beer? 227 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,205 Because he sucks. 228 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,524 Did Dick say who else he was meeting with? 229 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,331 The recruiter sent him like a whole big list right there. 230 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,441 Gonna be late for class. 231 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:22,641 How's that going? 232 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,846 Uh, it's okay. 233 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,366 I'm just a little nervous I might run out of material soon. 234 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,810 We already watched the Facebook movie, A.I., The Net, and half of Tron. 235 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,166 Which Tron? 236 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,805 What'? No, Tron. 237 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,371 There's two Trons. 238 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,283 Oh, shit. That's awesome. 239 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,771 Should get me through another week. 240 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:39,967 Thanks! 241 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,487 This entire list is a shitshow of shitheads. 242 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,531 Why would Richard trust a recruiter to source him recruits? 243 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,563 - It doesn't make sense. - Huh. 244 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,882 - What? - You guys seem like super-invested 245 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,282 in who Richard hires to work with Gavin Belson, that's all. 246 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,811 Are you insinuating jealousy? 247 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,886 - This is just concern for Richard's vision. - Mmm-hmm. 248 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:03,841 If Richard wants to saddle himself with mediocrity, go for it. 249 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,641 You did not. 250 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,566 I swear to God, bro. I swear to God. 251 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:12,361 Well, I tell you what. Next time you bust out the old Sea-Doo, give me a call. 252 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,571 Uh, guys, you know Brett? 253 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,247 Nope. 254 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,321 It's great to meet you guys. 255 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,527 We've met. 256 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,086 Uh, okay. Well, it has been a pleasure. 257 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,847 I shall walk you to your car. 258 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,203 All right, after me. 259 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,520 - Yeah. - Okay. 260 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,521 I hate him. 261 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,649 Gentlemen, I just paid the palapa contractor. 262 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,404 The palapa piper, so to speak. 263 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,840 The dream is a reality. 264 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,249 We will no longer be exposed to the elements. 265 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,686 Hey, Erlich. 266 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,202 You wanna guess who's on this list of availables 267 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,964 that Richard just got from his recruiter? 268 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,081 Who? 269 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,491 Your boy Jian-Yang. 270 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:53,806 - What? - What? 271 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,770 Jian-Yang! 272 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,248 You already have a fucking job, Jian-Yang. You have to finish SeeFood. 273 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,811 Now get to food scraping. 274 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,641 I fucking hate SeeFood. 275 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,524 I have to look at different hotdogs. 276 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,248 There's Chinese hotdogs, Polish hotdogs, Jewish hotdogs. 277 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,560 It's fucking stupid. 278 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,968 Well, here, here's one more for ya. 279 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,886 See? Hotdog. Doesn't even fucking work right. 280 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,088 You should hire someone using company money, 281 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,083 not build a roof over nothing. 282 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,208 The palapa was budgeted for, Jian-Yang. 283 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,566 That's what you do when you get funding, 284 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,405 you upscale your workspace to help with recruiting. 285 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,085 You just said you recruit no one. 286 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,765 Because we spent all the money on upscaling. 287 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,689 Why is this so confusing? 288 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:37,921 You stealing. 289 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,562 If you can steal, I can quit. 290 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:46,164 I have meetings at Periscope, Airbnb, good companies. 291 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,322 The fuck you do. 292 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,322 We still have $150,000 of Raviga's money left. 293 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,680 That's three months of burn. 294 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,082 So, 'til we are dick up and flat broke, this is your life. 295 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,446 Get to it. 296 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,090 This is no life. 297 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,726 I want to live. 298 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,320 Erase that dick picture. 299 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,569 You've got mail. 300 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,281 Yes. 301 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,691 Those are very powerful words. 302 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,169 - Sorry. - No, it's okay. 303 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,887 Your phone has technology inside it. 304 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,566 So, you're double learning. 305 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,728 Jian-Yang, what in the good fuck is that? 306 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,849 It's called business expense. 307 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,490 You buy a hut. 308 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,321 I buy a car. 309 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,809 You say keep doing SeeFood until money is gone. 310 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,844 Now, the money is gone. 311 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,246 Dick 312 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,006 is up. 313 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,487 Where'd you get those sunglasses, did they come with the car? 314 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,811 These are from your mom. 315 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:58,967 Listen, Jian-Yang. 316 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,168 You can't just blow the rest of our runway on a Corvette. 317 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,765 Who's gonna scrape the Internet? 318 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,407 Twelve-speaker sound system. It's very loud. Very expensive. 319 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,326 What the fuck was that? 320 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,523 Oh, just three months of runway being driven off by 90 pounds of asshole. 321 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,721 Spoken by a 280-pound pile of shit. 322 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,330 The fuck are you gonna do now? 323 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,361 Professor Bighetti, a word if you please? 324 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,211 Richard. 325 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,565 I know it's none of my business, 326 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,205 but I worked with that Brett Saxby fellow at Hooli. 327 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,970 He's a talented engineer, 328 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,886 but in an office environment, he can be both tardy and fresh. 329 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,090 Uh, I'm not hiring him. 330 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,571 He uses spaces, not tabs. 331 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,120 I see. Okay. 332 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,690 Well, that's a relief. 333 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,531 But, Richard, what about the next Brett Saxby? 334 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,084 Or the Brett Saxby after that? 335 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,520 And even if you vet them all, you are still in a room with Gavin. 336 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,688 So? We're partners. What's your point? 337 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:14,244 He and his posse of bandits and cutthroats will turn on you in a second. 338 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,561 You need me. 339 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,931 The half-crazed, half-Apache who will do anything to get your back. 340 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,411 I'll scalp Gavin if I have to, 341 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,369 and all the rest of those pale-faced sons of bitches. 342 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,647 I'll kill them with knives. I'll kill them With guns. 343 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,246 I'll kill them with my hands. I'll talk them into suicide. 344 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,367 It doesn't matter. 345 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,570 All right, Jared. I think what you're asking is... 346 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,761 You want a job? 347 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,923 If you think you can find a place for me. 348 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,889 Yeah. Of course, Jared. 349 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,083 You're more than welcome to work on this. 350 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,089 But just to be clear, you're not gonna stab anyone, are you? 351 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,605 Oh, it feels good to laugh. 352 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,449 So, that's a no, then? 353 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,604 Richard. 354 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,126 So, we're not gonna finish the movie? 355 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,526 Yeah, sorry. 356 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,365 But my colleague here was pretty adamant 357 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:12,401 that a better use of class time might be to learn while accomplishing something. 358 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,204 Now, take one, pass it all the way down. 359 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,011 We're supposed to scrape the Internet for thousands of food images? 360 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:22,127 Yeah. So, you'll find like five, or 30,000 pictures of your food. 361 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:26,365 And then put them in a folder with that food's name on it. 362 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:31,042 And it's good if you get like, weird angles or lighting of your food. 363 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,201 So, it should be pretty fun. 364 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:36,769 So, we're gathering training data to run through a convolutional neural net. 365 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,480 Like an image classifier? 366 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,881 Who wants broccoli? 367 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,963 Broccolini, for the ladies? Broccoli. 368 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,802 Just so you know, this does not mean I don't trust her. 369 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,482 I'm just doing this so you'll, like, shut up and leave me alone. 370 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,289 Mia, if you're listening, you're so pretty. 371 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,170 Oh, you're both headed to Gavin's? 372 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,446 Indeed we are. 373 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,721 Together again. 374 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,320 Butch Cassidy and his head of business development. 375 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,562 Oh, wow. Another Western reference. 376 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,411 Yaw! 377 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,250 Let's go. 378 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,965 You know, he'd hire you, too. 379 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,241 What? 380 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,840 All you have to do is admit that you want the job. 381 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,486 And like, get down on your knees and beg. 382 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,685 Says the guy who's romancing a woman through a phone that isn't even on. 383 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,370 A woman that he described to me in private as a skinny little fuck factory. 384 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,366 Oh! No, I didn't! God. 385 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,530 Mia, I would never do that. 386 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,569 Richard, Brett Saxby ran my data analytics team for three years. 387 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,961 Respectfully, I think passing on him is a mistake. 388 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,046 Yes. Well, I met with Brett Saxby and, um... 389 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,643 Uh... To be honest... 390 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,569 To be honest, I don't think he's our man. 391 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,286 Fair enough. There are plenty of good alternatives on this list. 392 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,247 Although I'm a little confused by your notes on some of these people. 393 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:02,681 "David Burnham. 394 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:08,842 "Annoying slob, fucked-up face, I could write better Python with my asshole." 395 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,685 You know what, I think, you have my list. 396 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,082 Yes. I have a very weird shorthand. 397 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,967 Yeah. 398 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,330 Okay. Next. 399 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,249 Becca... No, guys. That goes in the sun room. 400 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,001 I'll show you. All right. Back in a flash. 401 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,923 Come this way, gentlemen. Here. 402 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,720 God, there are pages of graphic insults here. 403 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,286 Fucking Gilfoyle. 404 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,681 Right? 405 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,887 Richard, would you be open to having Gilfoyle on the team? 406 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,206 Oh, yeah. Of course. 407 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,726 I mean, I'd hire him in a second, but he'd never do it. 408 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,564 Richard, Gilfoyle is a man of intense pride. 409 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:53,170 So, when he refers to a potential employee as a "pig-faced fuck nose," 410 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,928 what I hear is, "I need to be needed." 411 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,647 Well, what I hear is pig-faced fuck nose. 412 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,727 Exactly. 413 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,441 I mean, Gilfoyle's insults are normally well-crafted, almost poetic. 414 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,726 Last week, he referred to me as Frankenstein's bulimic daughter. 415 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,807 Yeah. I get what you mean. 416 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,281 So, what do you want me to do, Jared? Beg him? 417 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,963 Well, I think a little outreach would be in the company's best interest. 418 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,327 And really, "butt-dick"? 419 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,651 The man's in pain. 420 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:33,207 Hey, I know this system is super-confusing, but we don't see any completed assignments. 421 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,288 Cut the shit. Where's the work? 422 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,887 Well, we all got to talking the other day after class. 423 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,765 We couldn't figure out if you were like a TA, 424 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,922 or why you were giving us assignments, 425 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,686 but we all agreed we didn't like the way that you were speaking to Professor Bighetti. 426 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,926 I'm used to it. 427 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,289 So, we searched your name on PitchBook, 428 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,807 and that SeeFood app you got funded at Raviga popped up. 429 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,042 PitchBook? How do you have access to Pitch Book? 430 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,088 Your idea was so simple, 431 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,731 it was like something you could come up with in the room during a meeting. 432 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,567 Which is what Garrett from Coleman Blair told us at the CS undergrad mixer on Friday. 433 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,286 Hey, Erlich. Here I am. 434 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,846 Class of '06. 435 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,446 Go Cardinal. 436 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,807 Go Cardinal. 437 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,326 Anyways, we founded our own Shazam for food company, 438 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,641 -and he's funding us. - Mmm-hmm. 439 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,564 - Congrats! - Wait, that's stealing. 440 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,407 No, it's exactly what Mark Zuckerberg did 441 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,404 to the Winklevi in that Facebook movie Professor Bighetti had us watch. 442 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,051 And he was the hero of that film. 443 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,970 And with all of us working together, we'll easily beat you to market. 444 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,123 So, that's how it goes, huh? Hmm? 445 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,008 You steal a man's idea, rendering his company worthless? 446 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:45,088 I've read a number of disparaging articles about your generation in The Atlantic 447 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,685 and Slate.com summaries. 448 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,405 It's all true. 449 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,890 Trigger warning, fuck you. 450 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,729 Professor Bighetti, I'll see you at home. 451 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,925 You apologize? 452 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,441 In this case, yes, I apologize. 453 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,769 Who am I to advise you on your very valuable company? 454 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,650 It's time to let you go, like a bird. 455 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,121 So, go out there, without me. 456 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,526 Make your recipe app. 457 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,171 Take your meetings. 458 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,647 Live. 459 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:18,760 That being said, since there's no cash to buy me out, I propose this. 460 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,451 Allow me to keep the palapa, and give me the 'vette. 461 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,926 You're cashing out? 462 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,763 Dinesh, stay out of this please. 463 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,843 Car and a hut for 10%. 464 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,320 It's a palapa. 465 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,931 Okay. It's a deal. 466 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,250 You know, the car was a mistake. 467 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,367 I was driving next to a store window. 468 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,411 And I stop and look in my reflection. 469 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,605 I look like an asshole. 470 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,123 Yes, I'm sure it was just the car. 471 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,726 A little piece of advice regarding American culture. 472 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,123 A Corvette takes a certain sort of man to be able to pull off. 473 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,565 Like a fedora. 474 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,325 Anyway. keys? 475 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:03,247 Oh, and now that I'm out of the company, you'll need to tell Monica what transpired. 476 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,206 Thank you. 477 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:13,245 Gentlemen, I'm off to be out and about in the 'vette. 478 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:18,645 Be back for supper, that is, of course, unless I get fucked to death by the fairer sex. 479 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,328 Gilfoyle, Richard would like a moment, if you don't mind. 480 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,885 You guys need me to go somewhere else? 481 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,805 No, it's fine. You can stay. You can hear this. Uh... 482 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,523 Okay. Well, Gilfoyle, I have reviewed the candidates 483 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,731 and it is very clear to me that our company cannot succeed 484 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,726 without your unrivaled talents as a systems architect. 485 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:51,962 So, would you please, please, please, please come work for Pied Piper? 486 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,286 Thanks for asking. 487 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,364 I'm going to put this as delicately as I know how. 488 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,530 You can chortle my balls. 489 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,326 Okay. Wow. 490 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,889 So, who do we want to run front-end Dev? 491 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,571 "Cunt-ass" or "fuck-jerk"? 492 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,291 Listen. 493 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,202 This thing with Gavin isn't gonna work without me. 494 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,602 So, because I feel bad for you, and because I'd hate to see you fuck up good tech, 495 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,248 which will happen if I'm not there, I'm willing to help you. 496 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,201 That's a beautiful gesture. 497 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,369 So, you're back aboard? 498 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,808 FYI, Becca Thorton is a cancerous prolapsed anus of a human being, 499 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,202 but as a systems engineer, she's not all bad. 500 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,407 Laufle? 501 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,410 Oh! Yes. Monica, come in. I just heard the good news. 502 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,041 About... 503 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,442 Jian-Yang's nimble pivot. 504 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,604 Back away from the glass, please. 505 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,280 Special occasion! 506 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,841 He told me the whole story. 507 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,162 His interview at Periscope, 508 00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:00,006 his discovery of the photo of Bachman's genitals on his phone, 509 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,445 when demonstrating the app, 510 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,405 and his eureka moment. 511 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,643 When it turned out that his "not hotdog" technology 512 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,564 outperformed Periscope's own technology. 513 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,080 He said all that? 514 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:13,841 Not quickly. 515 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,327 The eventual point, Jian-Yang 516 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,609 unwittingly crafted an amazing tool for the real-time detection 517 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,927 and filtering of penile imagery. 518 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,967 I mean, Periscope does have a dick problem. 519 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,606 Monica. Ugh. 520 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,164 Jian-Yang went to Periscope for a job, 521 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,210 and walked out with a $4 million acquisition offer. 522 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,847 Given our liquidation preference, we have 10-X'd in two weeks. 523 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,849 So, hats off. 524 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,929 Well, thank you so much... 525 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:48,121 To Ed Chen for his shrewd call, both to invest in this and make you lead. 526 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,881 He is quite astute. 527 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,008 Which is why we've promoted him to senior partner. 528 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,481 Yeah. 529 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,769 Monica, you've got Erlich. 530 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,565 I'm here with Jian-Yang and he just told me 531 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:07,328 that you traded 10% of the company for a used car and a... 532 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,841 A hut. 533 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:10,246 A hut? 534 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,687 A palapa. And so what? 535 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,724 What do you mean it's a half-a-million-dollar palapa? 536 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,207 Erlich, is the refrigerator running? 537 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,850 It's Mike Hunt. 538 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,491 And he's rich. 539 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,211 Shit! 540 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,011 Oh, hey, um, when you begged Richard for the job, 541 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,204 did you actually, like, literally lick his boots? 542 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,204 Or did you just go, like, "Pretty please, Richard?" 543 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:45,930 "Please, can I have a job, Richard?" 544 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,409 Whatever I did, it was worth it for the chance to work without you. 545 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,682 Speaking of, did your deal with Periscope ever close? 546 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,881 Yep. 547 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,850 If I stay a year, I vest a big chunk of Twitter stock. 548 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,731 - Great. - Great. 549 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:05,126 And what exactly are you working on? 550 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,803 Oh, you know, we're tuning our algorithm. 551 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,450 We're reconfiguring our 552 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,929 classifier from food to 553 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:16,720 another purpose. 554 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,601 Uh-huh. 555 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,403 In other words, you sit around and look at dick pics all day long. 556 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,210 Don't let me stop you. 557 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,521 Wow. 558 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,565 I would say not safe for work, but this is your work. 559 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,606 For a year. 560 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,811 At least. 561 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,445 Is that one 562 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,090 actually a hotdog? 563 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,761 Nope. 564 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,650 Not hotdog.