1 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,640 So, as you can see, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:14,881 since I became CEO, our user growth, undeniable, 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:19,204 our retention, so sticky, it's pornographic. 4 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,601 We're lean, we're exploding. 5 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:26,049 And we're more mission-focused than ever in providing the best video chat 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,967 the world has ever seen. 7 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,531 Wow. Well, this seems really promising, gentlemen. 8 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,762 Promising, indeed. 9 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,446 - I think if We just... - "Promising"? 10 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,971 You're a young associate here, 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,565 so, I'm gonna help you out, okay? 12 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,804 We have a lot of these meetings set up. We will be fine. 13 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,042 What he means by that is... 14 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,728 But you, you don't wanna be known around here as the guy who fucked this up, okay? 15 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,087 So, when you hip your bosses to our numbers 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,204 and they get visible hard-ons, have them move quickly. 17 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,447 Erlich, you're with me. 18 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,206 - It's "hards-on." - What? 19 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,009 "Hards-on," not "hard-ons." 20 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,242 It's a syntactical error that I could have remedied 21 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,084 if you'd just given me the space to speak. 22 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,367 Erlich. I'm seeing you Thursday, right? 23 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,567 You better believe it. I can't wait for it. 24 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,045 - For... - For Jian-Yang's pitch. 25 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,122 His new idea sounds super exciting. 26 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:27,240 Yes, well, he is white-hot right now, and that's why I had him reach out directly, 27 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,802 and we can't wait to pitch you the idea that is gonna be pitched to you. 28 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,689 Great. I'll see you then. 29 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,644 - You have no idea what it is, do you? - Not a fucking clue. 30 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,890 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! 31 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,561 Always blue! Always blue! 32 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,444 Always blue. Always blue. Always blue... 33 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,284 - Hey. - Always... 34 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,811 Richard? Hey. 35 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,602 What's... There you are. What's going on? You celebrating something? 36 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,365 We were just chanting. 37 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:18,001 - Why? What, the pitches go well? - They went fine, you could say. 38 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,320 You said they went awesome. 39 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:25,282 All right. Thank you, Big Head. I mean, I did get us a few offers. 40 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,400 We did receive more than a few offers, as few often refers to "three". 41 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,207 And today, we're four for four. 42 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,481 Huh. 43 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,963 - Which... I mean, what does that even mean? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 44 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,484 Look, you don't have to do this, really. 45 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,965 It was my choice to leave the company, 46 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,523 and besides, my Internet thing is going great. Really, it's going very well. 47 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,922 So, I want you to succeed, and I want you guys to be happy. 48 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,451 Sure you do, slugger. 49 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,568 Stop. Really. 50 00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:00,201 - It's cool. I mean that totally honestly. - Keep it positive. 51 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,929 Um, I should go Skype my dad, I think, and tell him the good news. 52 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,369 Um, it is good news, though, right? 53 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,205 'Cause we were all sort of, like, happy and celebrating, but now... 54 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,361 Now, it feels sort of weird... 55 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,680 - Let's go, Big Head. - Okay. 56 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,966 - It's good? - Yes. 57 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:19,285 All right, well, enjoy. Carry on. Always blue. 58 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,251 - Jared. - Okay. 59 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,084 - Always blue. Always blue... - Sorry. 60 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,084 Dinesh, I think you accidentally disabled my access keys 61 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,969 for the video chat data repository. 62 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,807 No, actually, I deleted them on purpose. 63 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,130 I've purged all our ex-employees'. Gleb, Sanjay, Elisabet, you... 64 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,601 Gleb? What, you're comparing me to Gleb? 65 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,091 When we agreed to split the company, 66 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,044 we said that you could take the algorithm for your video chat, 67 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,083 and I could use the data flowing through the system 68 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,811 to optimize the algorithm for my thing. We had a deal. 69 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,680 We had an agreement, not technically a deal. 70 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,366 What the fuck, Dinesh? 71 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,680 Play, play. Blue, blue. Always blue, always blue. 72 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,649 Have fun, you're having a party. You got pizza and everything. 73 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,761 Always blue... 74 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,842 So, what, I should've got it in writing, Dinesh? Is that it? 75 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,321 You wanna lawyer-up now? 76 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,765 You know, we're just some guys in a house. 77 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,002 But I don't wanna be just guys in a house, Richard. 78 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,687 That's the whole point. I want PiperChat to be a real company. 79 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,047 And after all the bullshit we went through, no offense, 80 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,806 I finally got some real financing lined up for us. 81 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,803 I cannot have another Intersite on my hands. 82 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,167 That was fucking Russ and his shitty tequila. 83 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,044 You know that, man. You were there. That wasn't me. 84 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,966 Richard, it happened on your watch. 85 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,522 I'm sorry. I really am. 86 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,444 But the answer is no. 87 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,046 Okay. Well, suck a dick. 88 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,288 I'm sorry. What did you say? 89 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,044 - Nice blazer. - Thank you. 90 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,884 - Where'd you get it? - Does it matter? 91 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,530 I just wanna know where I can get one, 92 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,523 so I can look like a total fucking douchebag. 93 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:53,966 Wow, right? 94 00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,927 Unbelievable. 95 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,163 Gents, why don't we take this party outside? 96 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:08,047 Yes. We live in California, we should take advantage of it. 97 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,205 Gavin, you told me to interrupt if Jack Barker came to see you. I'm sorry. 98 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:26,684 Yes. Send him in. I thought Barker would crack after one day in that basement. 99 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,728 The fact that it's taken him two weeks 100 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,486 to fess up about hijacking my fucking plane and resign, 101 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,841 will make it all the sweeter. 102 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,968 Hiya, Skipper. Sorry to barge in. I owe you an apology. 103 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,082 Really? Whatever for? 104 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,125 When you stuck me in that basement, 105 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,370 I was like, "Jack, what the hell did you do wrong?" 106 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,808 And I'm sorry that it took me so long to get it through my thick skull. 107 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,247 I finally figured out what this was all about. 108 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,163 Well, I'm glad to hear it. 109 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,966 You are doing exactly what Bobby lger does over at Disney. 110 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,527 What? 111 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:09,242 He makes every manager spend one day of the year in the Goofy suit. 112 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,244 Because sometimes, you just gotta be at product level 113 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,209 to be able to see the best path forward. 114 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:18,649 And once I realized that, it was like, ka-pow! "it was so obvious." 115 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,485 It's the algorithm. 116 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,645 Pied Piper put middle-out in their vid chat, and it's amazing now. I know. 117 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,563 I'm on that all the time with my grandkids. 118 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:32,124 We could use middle-out to revamp our entire suite of products. 119 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,089 We can make billions, Chief. 120 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,401 I'm whipping up some proposals right now 121 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,721 that are gonna knock that wig right off your head. 122 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,161 Yeah. 123 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,484 What the fuck is he up to? 124 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,085 Look like a fucking wig to you? 125 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,242 The point is, Jian-Yang, you don't set pitches. 126 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,722 I handle the scheduling, that's the symbiosis of our relationship. 127 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,326 - No. - What do you mean, "No?" 128 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,601 No. 129 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,728 Jian-Yang, PiperChat has some real heat, okay? 130 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,006 And we can draft off of that, 131 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,766 but it has to be a carefully choreographed dance. 132 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,524 You can't just wiggle your little tush 133 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,762 and expect every VC in the Valley to get hards-on. 134 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,566 I am your lead investor, you will respect me as such. 135 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,290 I do not respect you. 136 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,285 You're not any kind of investor. You own nothing. 137 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,044 I own 10%. You live in my incubator. 138 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,728 - No, you evict me, I evict your 10%. - What are you talking about? 139 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,010 "Santa Clara Sheriff's Department. Vacate or be forcibly removed." 140 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,768 To be fair, Jian-Yang, I filed this when I had no expectation that the system would work. 141 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,128 - Okay. - Jian-Yang, just tell me... 142 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,770 Can you just tell me what the idea is, 143 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,683 so I can gauge how aggressively I should pursue it? 144 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:54,084 Hey, Jared, you were there, right? When we split the company into two, 145 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,204 - Dinesh and I had a very... - No, no. Stop, stop. Please stop, Richard. 146 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,441 - What? - What are you doing? 147 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,168 What do you mean? I'm complaining about Dinesh. He sucks. 148 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,325 - He's my boss now, Richard. - Well, your boss is being a real prick. 149 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,404 Richard, we have to bifurcate our relationship. 150 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,165 You and I can no longer discuss business. 151 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,961 All right? We can talk about anything else two guys might talk about. 152 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:21,001 We can talk about sports teams and their scores, or pussy. 153 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,766 But you and I cannot, and will not discuss business. 154 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,845 Hey, man. For what it's worth, I thought it was super fucked up, what Dinesh did. 155 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,923 I know what it's like to be the one guy not in the company, you know? 156 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,361 So, 157 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,766 if you want my login, it's all yours. 158 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,321 Really? 159 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,731 - Yeah, man. - Thanks. 160 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,808 You know, I shouldn't do this. Dinesh said no. 161 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,960 - And also, these are Skyrim cheat codes. - Oh, shit. Yeah. 162 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,122 My Bloomberg interview is on! 163 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,687 "How did I come up with PiperChat?" That's a very good question. 164 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,081 I guess the tech gods were just speaking through me. 165 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,482 Somehow, I knew to take the best parts of the service 166 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,564 as substandard and crappy as HooliChat, 167 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,962 and make it... How do I put this? 168 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,687 Incredible. 169 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,762 Do you think I have too much product on my hair? 170 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,161 Nope. I think you should use more. 171 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,524 Wait, are you saying that because you think I look ridiculous 172 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,285 and you want me to look more ridiculous next time? 173 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,449 Which answer will get more of that stuff in your hair? 174 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,765 Wait, wait, wait, watch this. This is where I make Emily Chang laugh. 175 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,730 Quite a turnaround for a company that wasn't exactly soaring. 176 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,763 Oh, it was soaring, Emily. 177 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,047 Right into a clogged toilet. 178 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,963 - And not just like a standard clogged toilet. 179 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:50,090 Like, I don't need a plunger, I need a shovel and a bucket. 180 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:55,685 But enough about the previous leadership, which was inept, lame, bitter... 181 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,047 Fuck it. We had a deal. 182 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,201 Thanks. 183 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,685 That's weird. 184 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:20,244 Hey, Richard. Have you seen the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition? 185 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,809 The cover model has the most lovely, enigmatic facial expression. 186 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,048 Jared, I don't really wanna talk about guy talk. 187 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,329 I'm here to tell you that I think Dinesh may be in some serious trouble. 188 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,011 Okay, so, I was analyzing a bunch of user data, and I... 189 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,560 No, no, no. Richard, Richard. 190 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,962 I told you, I can't talk about this. You have to bifurcate. 191 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,849 No, Jared, listen, you're gonna wanna hear this... 192 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,241 Wait. What do you mean you were looking at user data? 193 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,287 You violated our system? Richard, you were inside us? 194 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,846 Don't tell Dinesh, and don't tell any of the other guys, okay? 195 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,362 "Don't tell Dinesh?" Richard, Dinesh is my CEO. 196 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,488 - Oh, God. - What are you doing to me? 197 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,166 - Did I make you angry? - No. 198 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,322 I'm trying to save his ass, okay? I'm trying to save you. 199 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,324 Just survey the users. 200 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,324 And make sure you ask how old they are, okay? 201 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,927 And then, that's it. That's it. That's it. No more. 202 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,765 Stupid fucking Jian-Yang and his shitty app. I don't even know if it is shitty. 203 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,566 You know, I could probably find out about Jian-Yang's app. 204 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,530 He asked if he could practice-pitch it to me. 205 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,364 - Do you have any nines? - Go fish. 206 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,841 Wait, this could be great. What time are you guys doing that? 207 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,160 I could listen in. 208 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,165 I don't know. He asked if he could pitch me, and I said, "Sure," 209 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,402 and then he just kept talking for a while. 210 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,001 Oh. 211 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,923 You don't think that could have been the pitch, do you? 212 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,210 - God damn it, what did he say? - Jeez, I kind of zoned out. 213 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,685 Shit. Fives? 214 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,528 Uh, go fish. Wait. 215 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,886 I don't know if this would be relevant, 216 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,566 but he did say the word "Oculus" a whole bunch. 217 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,962 - Wait. "Oculus"? - Mmm-hmm. 218 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,920 Oh, my God. It's a VR play. 219 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,401 That's the frothiest space in the Valley right now. 220 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,727 Nobody understands it, but everybody wants in. 221 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,167 Any idiot can walk into a fucking room, 222 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,126 utter the letters "V" and "R" and VCs will hurl bricks of cash at them. 223 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:15,569 Then, by the time they find out that it's vaporware, it's too late. 224 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,484 I have got to get in on this. 225 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,160 Trust me. Just give me five minutes. There he is. 226 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,050 Wait, is that our lawyer? 227 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,121 Hey! 228 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,441 I thought he was in jail. 229 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,648 Hey. Perfect timing. 230 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,845 I just completed the detailing on this Kia. Come on. 231 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,889 What the fuck is going on? 232 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,287 Wait, I don't understand. 233 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,283 How did Richard have access to our user data? 234 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:51,127 Someone must have let him in. it was you. You're a fucking rat, Jared. 235 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,124 Richard entered us without consent. 236 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,044 In spite of that, he has raised a real issue here. 237 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,884 Fuck this. I'm gonna Uber home. 238 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,163 Mr. Monahan, good luck with this whole work release situation, 239 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,322 but I have more important things to do. 240 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,521 Mr. Chugtai. 241 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,286 It appears that 33% of your users are under the age of 13. 242 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:16,447 It's also apparent that you have no parental permission requirements in place. 243 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,967 You're going to want to sit down for this. 244 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,808 - Are you familiar with COPPA? - Who? 245 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,323 It's the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act. 246 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,802 This act establishes strict guidelines 247 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,766 to protect the privacy of younger children on the Internet. 248 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,242 You are in gross violation of this act. 249 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:52,488 You know how kids can't have a YouTube or Facebook account till they're 13? 250 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,931 It's because of this. 251 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:59,882 Yes, but our users are chatting with each other, Jared, not some old creep. 252 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,122 - No offense. - None taken. 253 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,364 My shame will linger even after my voting rights are restored. 254 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:10,611 Now, are there records of these chats on your sewer? 255 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,405 Yeah, we store everything. 256 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,246 What... Okay, what's going on? How serious is this? 257 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,047 Each violation of COPPA 258 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,920 carries a penalty of $16,000. 259 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,210 So, we're fined $16,000? Oh, no. 260 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,930 I hope they take cash. 261 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,844 $16,000 per user. 262 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:37,005 Not only each user, each use. 263 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,284 Fifty-one thousand estimated underage users 264 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,682 times an average 25.6 chat sessions per user 265 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,730 times $16,000.. 266 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,724 $21 billion? 267 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,642 I mean, how is that even fucking possible? 268 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,121 I mean, I knew Dinesh was going to fuck this all up, but honestly, 269 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,123 this couldn't get any better. 270 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,651 What's with his shirt? 271 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,691 He sort of became ill on himself. 272 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,650 I was wrong. This just got better. 273 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,770 This is all your fault, Richard. This was your company before it was mine. 274 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,291 What are you talking about? 275 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,964 Dinesh, I specifically reminded you 276 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,407 to port over the terms of service from the platform. 277 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,201 Right. And I asked if you'd done it, and you said you had. 278 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,281 Okay. 279 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,409 I checked the TOS box when we submitted it to the App Store, 280 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,528 but then I didn't end up doing it, all right? 281 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,763 And then when we caught fire, the last thing I wanted to do 282 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,850 was to bog our users down with legal bullshit, you know? 283 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,809 I mean, nobody reads that stuff, anyway. 284 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,884 Well, first of all, everyone reads the terms of service, 285 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,965 and secondly, they would have given us legal cover from exactly this. 286 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,283 Every sound is $16,000. 287 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,170 - Fuck! - All right, all right. Don't think about that. 288 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,006 Just think about how to solve this massive, massive problem. 289 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,889 Quickly. Quick as you can. 290 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,769 Jared, just... 291 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,448 Wait. We could shut down. 292 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,248 No, no, no. Not when we're this close to signing a term sheet. 293 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,722 And in case all of you gents have forgotten, 294 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,724 I'm on the hook for half a million Clambos for this thing. 295 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,129 Well, we can't stay online! We're just racking up more fines! 296 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,441 Well, technically, this is a corporation. 297 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,363 So, whatever they fine you, 298 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,205 they'll really only be able to collect what the company is worth, 299 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,647 which, at this point, is, basically, nothing. 300 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,930 That's right. I'm just the CEO. I'm not personally liable. 301 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,441 Although... 302 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,126 Although what? 303 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,841 Well, when you lied to me about adding terms of service, 304 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:56,482 it could be argued, you violated your fiduciary duty to the company, 305 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,528 rendering you personally liable. 306 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,730 I mean, if the FTC brought us to trial, I could be compelled to testify against you. 307 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,124 Jared, I trusted you. 308 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:10,366 Oh, trust has nothing to do with it, but thanks for making that official. 309 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,287 So, I could be personally liable for $21 billion? 310 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,450 Yeah, most likely. 311 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,009 I know in the fable, Pied Piper led all the children into darkness, 312 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,527 but now, we're doing it. So, what do you wanna do? 313 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,920 I'm gonna throw up again. 314 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,404 I'm gonna watch this. 315 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,890 I want full surveillance on Jack Barker 24/7. 316 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,327 I don't recommend using conventional listening devices. 317 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,606 He may sweep for those. 318 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,331 I do have a colleague at Facebook that has a laser microphone, 319 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,721 you can point it at an office window from a mile away 320 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,484 and read the sound vibrations. 321 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,369 I like it. 322 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,250 Hoover, you're the only person I can trust at this goddamn company. 323 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,250 - It's good to have a friend. - I understand that, sir. 324 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,241 Ah, Gavin, there you are. 325 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,291 Well, I don't want to interrupt your talking with Hoover 326 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,124 and talking and talking about things. 327 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,046 - But I have some concrete news. Regarding? 328 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,321 Jack Barker. 329 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,208 By foregoing western gadgetry, 330 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,841 simply stationing myself in the hall outside of his office, 331 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,960 I was able to overhear him speaking of his plans to move against you. 332 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,250 He even referred to you as "Gavin Smelson." 333 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,321 I knew it. 334 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,684 Good work, Denpok. Good work. 335 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,769 Let's go slice this bastard in half, yeah? 336 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,440 Hold on. We need proof. 337 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,411 Otherwise, he'll just deny it, and it'll just be a case of "he said, she said." 338 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,131 Good point. Denpok, who was he talking to? 339 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,521 Oh, um... 340 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,403 Alas, I could not see this from my hidden vantage point. 341 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,568 I'll check the logs and see who was in his office. 342 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:49,766 No, because... 343 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,365 No one was there. 344 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,009 I'm confused. Was he on the phone? 345 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,210 Yes. Very perceptive. 346 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,971 - Easy, I'll just pull up his phone records... - No. 347 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,690 Not the "phone" phone. 348 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,241 So, what was he doing? Was he video chatting? 349 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,926 That's what it was, chela. 350 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:16,443 - Even better, I'll pull up the chat data. - You can do that? 351 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,488 Well, as long as he was on HooliChat. 352 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:23,088 But the bastard kept grinding in my face how much he loved PiperChat. 353 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,722 - What if he was using... - PiperChat! 354 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,801 - Yes. - Fuck! 355 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,602 He said the resolution was so vivid and superior to HooliChat. 356 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:37,006 Ah. Sadly, now, we'll never know the identity of the person 357 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,607 with whom he was definitely talking. 358 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,123 - Unless... - Unless what? 359 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,327 Dinesh? 360 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,205 Hey, man. How's it going? 361 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,845 Bad. 362 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,168 Well, look. I've been there, man. 363 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,811 - No, you haven't. - I have. 364 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:16,046 One time when we were pitching at Ross Lorna, 365 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,043 I threw up in my pants. 366 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,326 Don't you mean "on"? 367 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,121 Nope. 368 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,288 No, I mean "in." 369 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,647 We were pitching, and, well, things weren't really going well. 370 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,846 I was getting nervous, 371 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,491 and, I don't know, I think I must've eaten something bad that day. 372 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,007 Anyway, my stomach was upside down, so I made a beeline to the stall. 373 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,766 But then I pulled down my pants, sat down, 374 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,969 but instead of shit, I threw up into my pants. 375 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,604 Well, I was CEO for 11 days. 376 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,924 And in that time, I violated the rights of 50,000 little girls, 377 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,446 exposed them to sexual predators, 378 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,570 and racked up fines the size of a small nation's GDP. 379 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,369 Yeah. I threw up in my pants. 380 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,526 Fuck. 381 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,291 What do I do, Richard? 382 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,443 There are no right answers. 383 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,285 You know, when I was CEO, 384 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,922 I found that it was more about choosing the one wrong answer that you can live with. 385 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,883 I really loved that video chat. 386 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,649 Hello? 387 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,085 This is he. 388 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,725 What? 389 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,881 It's Gavin Belson. 390 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,450 It's Gavin fucking Belson! 391 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:49,843 Hey. Gavin Belson. What's up? 392 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,367 Oh, my God, we're crushing it. All the time. 393 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,761 I'm in a bathtub. 394 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,241 Yeah! 395 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,970 Of course. I'd love to. 396 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:00,405 Bye. 397 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,000 He wants to meet me at Josephina's tonight. Did I say yes? 398 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,601 Holy shit. 399 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,690 Gavin Belson wants to acquire PiperChat. 400 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,651 He made the same call to me back when he wanted to make an offer for Pied Piper. 401 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,645 He could take this entire shit-bomb off Dinesh's hands? 402 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,006 Where's the fun in that? 403 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,004 More importantly, I could get all my money back. Maybe even more. 404 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,730 We could 1 OX this motherfucker, gents. 405 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,848 - Although... - Although what? 406 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,528 Well, I'm sorry to play the Cassandra again, but Dinesh can't sell Gavin the company. 407 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,204 - Why not? - Why the fuck not? 408 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,009 It's due diligence. 409 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,809 Gavin doesn't trust anyone. 410 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,803 When I worked for him, he tried to microchip me. 411 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,491 Before he finalized any acquisition, 412 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,847 his legal team would uncover our malfeasance. 413 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,207 They'd sniff out the user issue immediately. 414 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,045 And they'd probably turn you in. And you do not want that. 415 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,645 I mean, there's also the moral quandary. 416 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,883 Even if he could get away with it, could Dinesh really sell the company 417 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,726 knowing it's basically a sizzler buffet for the sexually deranged? 418 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,006 Of course he could. 419 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,651 Because even if there is a 1% chance of success 420 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,042 and a 99% chance of failure, and prison, 421 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,446 he will do the right thing and get me my money back. 422 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,171 I'm sorry, Erlich. I've made my decision. 423 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,848 I'm gonna say no to Gavin Belson, shut it down, and just see what happens. 424 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,041 What the fuck? Huh? What the fuck? 425 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,687 Man-Yang! 426 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,322 Hey, Gavin. Well... 427 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:44,531 Dinesh. Thanks for coming. 428 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:50,724 Listen, Gavin. I've thought about it, and if this is about you buying PiperChat... 429 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,928 I didn't come here today to buy your company. 430 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,331 You didn't? 431 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,131 No. I came to take it. 432 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,929 I thought I'd have to buy you out, 433 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,202 and I wanted to know what kind of CEO I'd be dealing with, 434 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,204 so, I had my comms people pull your press. 435 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:09,605 Like this interview you did with TechCrunch, where you describe PiperChat as, and I quote, 436 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:15,449 "Exactly like HooliChat, but without the suck-ass parts," end quote. 437 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,323 Or the one you did with Emily Chang where you told her how you took 438 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,928 "the best parts of HooliChat and made them less crappy." 439 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,601 I was about to throw you a massive acquisition deal. 440 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:34,801 And then I realized you'd already publicly admitted to stealing my IP. 441 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,370 I hope you have a good lawyer. 442 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,284 - He works at the car wash down the street. - What? 443 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,850 Look, Gavin, you do not wanna do this. 444 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,770 - I can't explain exactly why... - Shut up. 445 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,608 This is not a negotiation. 446 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:54,891 If you fight me, I will win, and I will fuck you in the tech business forever. 447 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,964 No one will hire you. I'm taking PiperChat. 448 00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,280 By 8:00 a.m. tomorrow, 449 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,931 you will hand over to Hooli all your data and systems. 450 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,731 All your users will be converted to HooliChat users. 451 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,962 It will be like PiperChat never existed. 452 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,565 And what you get out of it 453 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,008 is the chance to walk away and try and get another job in this town. 454 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,447 You have five seconds to decide. 455 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,091 - Five, four... - Okay. 456 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,404 So, we're in agreement. 457 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,290 For a 10% stake in your current venture, 458 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,681 you will receive full pool privileges, 459 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,401 more room in the crisper, and you may live in my home for... 460 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,607 - For free. - For free for six months. 461 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,808 Fuck you. One year. 462 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:40,010 Fuck! Fine. Fine. It's a deal. 463 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,487 Deal. 464 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,642 Jian, I mean, your onerous terms notwithstanding, 465 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,441 I'm very excited to be a part of your VR play. 466 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,126 - VR, virtual reality. 467 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,407 - Who's doing VR? - You are. 468 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:56,641 That's what Big Head said. 469 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,405 - This play has to do with the Oculus, right? - No. 470 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,209 But he said that you said "Oculus." 471 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,886 He said you kept saying it, "Oculus, Oculus, Oculus." 472 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,246 Octopus. 473 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,647 No. 474 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,321 No. 475 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,321 Octopus? 476 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,323 - It's a water animal. -|... 477 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,563 I know what an octopus is. Just... 478 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,251 What does your application have to do with octopus? 479 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,121 Eight different ways to make a Chinese recipe octopus. 480 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:36,086 So, I just traded one year of free rent, full pool privileges, 481 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,288 and more room in the crisper 482 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,525 for an application that is just 483 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,283 eight recipes for octopus? Hmm? 484 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,641 Yes. 485 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,925 Hey, guys. They're ready. 486 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,723 Ooh. Ooh. 487 00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:00,044 What the fuck is this? 488 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:04,330 I went through every chat in his history. They're all the same. 489 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,768 Perhaps it was another chat format. 490 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,811 Could you acquire Skype or FaceTime and check them as well? 491 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:12,847 What? 492 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,082 Gavin? I'm sorry... 493 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,448 I need to talk to you about this PiperChat acquisition. 494 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,969 I put together a panel of the most active users you ported over from PiperChat. 495 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,963 Bear in mind, this group is representative 496 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,961 in terms of gender, race, and most importantly, age. 497 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:34,568 Now, who else thinks changing to a HooliChat login is hella lame? 498 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,330 Madison, Allison, Jennifer, Stephanie, Quinn, Ingrid, 499 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,686 Kaylie, Ava, Sarah... 500 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,807 Oh, no. 501 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,962 ...Janelle, Carl. 502 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:50,926 Now, Carl, you said the new sign-in page made you nervous. 503 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,965 Did anyone else feel nervous? 504 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,246 Fuck!