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From Bloomberg West in San Francisco,
I'm Emily Chang.
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General Keith Alexander is here
to tackle tech's role in counter-terrorism,
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but first, a quick glimpse
with Richard Hendricks,
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founder and CEO of the hot, new
compression platform Pied Piper,
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and Erlich Bachman, Chief Visionary.
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Oh, Emily Chang, it is just splendid
to be here with you at historical Pier 3,
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with a breathtaking view
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of the Embarcadero Center
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and the flag of San Francisco.
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Now, Richard...
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Richard actually
developed this technology in my incubator.
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I am listed...
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I was originally listed under the white pages
as "Erlich Blachman", with an
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a typo that apparently couldn't be changed,
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and then Google indexed it,
so I've been dealing with that.
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Richard, Pied Piper has taken off like a rocket.
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More than 100,000 installs
in just 10 days.
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Is that right?
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Uh... Uh, yes.
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Pretty amazing.
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And you have a last-minute invite
to the Vanity Fair summit dinner tonight.
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Quite an honor for such a young company.
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Richard, maybe
you could comment on this one?
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Yeah, we are finally the belles of the balls.
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I mean, uh, ball.
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Now, some people are
calling you the next Unicorn.
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Have you guys thought about that?
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You could have a billion-dollar company.
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Erlich, you could own 5% of $1 billion.
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Uh, ten, actually.
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Richard, this is boring.
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- Shit.
- No, no, no.
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He was an early investor.
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Again, it's Erlich Bachman.
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If you Google that, it'll say,
"Did you mean Erlich Blachman?"
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You can click on that link, it'll give you
the correct results for Erlich Bachman.
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Should we take some calls?
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We don't do that here.
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I just know what I saw, Richard.
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No, come on. Look, she's married,
she just had another baby.
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If you pushed a little harder,
you could have scored right there on camera.
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- You should get her phone number.
- Shut up.
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Oh. This is actually,
uh, Jian-Yang pranking me.
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I should take it.
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Yes, of course I have frog's legs.
Why do you ask?
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Are you serious? Have you honestly still
not told him that you sold your shares?
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You can't keep lying to him like this.
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It's not technically a lie.
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My shares don't transfer to Raviga
until the next board meeting.
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- Come on, it's been 10 days.
- I know, I know.
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But, you know, the TechCrunch thing came up
and then there was the Reddit AMA
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and, you know, now this Bloomberg thing.
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And besides, let's be honest,
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Richard shouldn't be in the public eye
without me along to help.
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Did you just see the skeeved-out look
on Emily Chang's face?
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I thought she was going to walk off set.
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Erlich, you're lying to him,
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and you made me a part of it,
so now I'm lying to him, too.
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The longer you wait,
the worse this is gonna get.
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- All right, fine, fine. I'll tell him.
- When?
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After the Vanity Fair thing tonight.
I mean, did you see the guest list?
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Monica, throw me a bone here.
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Twenty-four hours, then I'm telling him.
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- Fine, I'll tell him. I'll tell Richard.
- I'm serious.
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- Tell me what?
- I'm not joking...
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Um...
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it was, uh, Jian-Yang.
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He said to tell you that
Phillip McCrevis left word.
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Oh. Who's Phillip... Oh.
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Richard, we'd better get our asses
in first fucking gear
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if we want to make it
to this Verge photoshoot.
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Oh, shit. That's today?
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Yes, I assume that's why you're still
wearing your Bloomberg makeup.
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No. No, I was just... I kind of like the way it...
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Uh... Can we just
push this to next week, please?
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They don't really do that.
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Okay, well, can you go?
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Please? I just have a ton of work,
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and honestly I would be really happy
if I never had to do any of this ever again
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and then you were just
the face of the company.
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You know what I mean? Oh, shit.
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What time is this Vanity Fair thing?
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It's tonight. I figure we're wheels up by 6:00,
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then we can check into the hotel,
shit, shave, and shit again.
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- Get a cocktail.
- What hotel?
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Eavesdropping. Well, if you must know,
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we got a suite at the Fairmont,
and they're sending a car.
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I think Richard deserves it.
And then I figured tomorrow in the a.m.,
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we would sleep in and have a nice brunch.
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I don't have time for a brunch.
I have to be back here.
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Come on, Eggs Benny, a little spinach tartar,
you'll flirt with the waitress.
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Killer. And, uh, we'll have a nice talk.
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"Talk"? What about?
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You know, things, all sorts of themes.
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So tomorrow, you, me, brunch,
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and, uh, one word. Frittata.
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Hey, fellas, is it me, or is it a bit chilly in here?
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What in God's name is that?
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What do you think it is? It's a jacket!
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Now, I only ordered one as a sample,
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but once I have your sizes,
we can all have them.
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Why would we all want them?
One is already too many.
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I don't mean in the house.
I mean, like, in the world.
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Now Gilfoyle, I have you at about a 40 long?
Am I right?
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If my mother was naked
and dead in the street,
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I would not cover her body with that jacket.
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GM.
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Jared, now that you're here,
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-we need two new tables in the game room.
- Yeah?
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Okay. Well, maybe against the doors?
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Oh, hold on, there's more.
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And you guys give me shit
for a tiny gold chain?
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I regret nothing. I'm going to get coffee.
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Hey, Brownie, you coming?
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I was thinking
we'd hit the Philz on Middlefield.
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No, let's drive to the one on Forest Avenue.
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It's further from that jacket.
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Claude, you're on pager duty
until we get back.
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Jared, can I borrow that jacket?
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I sense you're doing something ironic with it,
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but I'm okay with that,
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because however unattractive
this jacket may seem to you,
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once you slip it on, everything will change.
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It'll shake out its hair and take off its glasses,
and before you know it, you'll be in love.
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Jared, it's really fucking ugly.
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Consider the tortoise.
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As the fable teaches us,
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it may appear that he is losing in his race
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against his nemesis,
the insolent and cocksure hare.
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But appearances can be deceiving.
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Gavin, the tortoise. Is it Endframe?
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Yes. But there's more.
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- The hare is Pied Piper.
-Indeed it is. Someone's read their Aesop.
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We've also read the financials, Gavin.
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Between Nucleus and EndFrame,
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you've burned through
three-quarters of $1 billion,
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with virtually nothing to show for it.
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Two weeks ago,
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on the heels of powering down the entire
Hooli campus for seemingly no reason,
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you lost all of EndFrame's senior engineers.
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I grant you, we've stumbled on offense of late,
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but the best offense is a good defense.
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We've taken a page out of Apple's playbook
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and are currently "reviewing"
the Pied Piper app for sale
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in our Hooli store
at a pace one might call "tortoise-like."
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Don't. They hate that.
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In any case, I have it on good authority
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that it may be some time before Pied Piper
is available on Hooli OS devices.
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We're making it available immediately.
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Sorry?
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You're fighting a war that's already ended,
Gavin. Pied Piper won.
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We called this board meeting to inform you
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that it's time for Hooli to let go
and move on without you at the wheel.
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I'm sorry, without me?
Are you firing me?
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Our intention is simply to transition you
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into a more appropriate role
within the company,
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one with less oversight
of day-to-day operations.
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You're putting me on the fucking roof?
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You could always choose to move on, Gavin.
Up to you.
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I built this company with my bare hands
in my fucking garage.
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Where were you when I was doing that?
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Gavin?
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These animals?
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Fuck.
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Well, uh, you are certainly more than qualified
to be our new head of PR.
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Laurie thinks you're great.
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Um, to be honest, we could use the help.
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All the media stuff has been pretty
overwhelming, especially lately.
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- If Marissa Mayer can do it, so can you.
- Oh.
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And you're available immediately?
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I am. I do have one question for you guys.
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Is everything here cool?
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Is it cool?
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Uh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm cool.
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- Yeah, he is cool.
- Uh-huh.
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Clearly, but is there anything you guys
want to tell me about the company?
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What, like, uh...
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All right, look, this is weird,
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but when I was in Laurie's office yesterday,
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I saw a piece of paper on her desk.
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Well, she can be a bit untidy.
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It was a sale of a big block
of Pied Piper stock.
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Is someone on the inside
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-dumping shares right as you're launching?
- What?
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No. No, absolutely not.
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'Cause that would be
a pretty severe signaling risk.
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I mean, you don't have to be in PR
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to know that insiders
only dump stock like that
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when they know something is wrong.
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The bulk of my compensation here
would be options,
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and if those aren't
going to be worth anything...
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Yeah. No. No, no, no.
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That is not happening, okay?
Nothing is going on here.
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- Yeah, except excellence.
- Okay.
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Well, you let me know what you want to do
and I'll think about it.
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Okay. Oh.
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Um, well, thanks for coming.
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What the hell was that?
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Maybe it was a negotiating tactic?
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Monica.
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It's Monica.
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00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,724
Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
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I mean, she's the only one
who's bought a jacket.
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00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,929
Jared, she's the only one
who hates the platform.
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There's no other explanation for this.
Okay? Monica fucked us.
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00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,122
She pulled down our pants
and fucked us in front of our parents.
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00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,170
Did some...
Richard, did somebody do that to you?
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00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,241
No. No, I don't know why...
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00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,805
Oh, boy, it is chilly.
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Good thing I brought this sweet jiz-acket.
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00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,089
Hey, friend? We came here together.
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00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,445
I know what you're doing.
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00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,649
You think you're embarrassing me,
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00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,405
but that's only the secondary effect
of that shitty jacket.
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00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,164
The primary effect is
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00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:47,804
that you look like a douchebag.
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00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,803
Let me put this in terms you'll understand.
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I'm like a suicide bomber of humiliation.
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00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,969
I'm happy to go out
as long as I take you with me.
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Your shame is my paradise.
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00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,091
'Sup, ladies?
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00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,289
What you noshing on? Cranberry scone?
223
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:11,241
My friend Dinesh here
has a little crush on you. He's shy.
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I don't know him.
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00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,842
Oh, he plays coy.
226
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,410
I don't know why he's so shy.
227
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,801
Excuse me. I noticed your jacket.
228
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,251
Do you work for Pied Piper?
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00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,408
- Yeah.
- Dude, your app is killin' it.
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00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,209
Everyone I know is installing it.
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00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,442
Do you, seriously?
I just downloaded it last night.
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00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,081
- Yeah?
- Do you mind if we get a picture?
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00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,527
- With me?
- Yeah. Everybody get in.
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00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,045
If you want it.
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00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,565
- Thanks.
- Thanks, bro.
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00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,211
Hey, man, did you remember
to put money in the meter?
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00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,760
Hi, I'm Dinesh. l work at Pied Piper.
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00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,490
Excuse me, do I know you?
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00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,089
Gilfoyle.
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00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,561
He's a fuckin' dick, but I love him, though.
241
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,369
You have me confused with someone else.
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00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:56,651
My name's clearly Jared, and if you
would excuse us, you were interrupting.
243
00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,009
No, he's lying. His name is Gilfoyle.
Show them your driver's license.
244
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,448
Jared asked you nicely to step back,
so step the fuck back.
245
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,887
You're being a dick, and you're cutting in line.
246
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,201
You heard him. You're being a dick.
247
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,560
- Boy, some people.
- What a creep.
248
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,369
Sorry you had to deal with that, Jared.
249
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,408
You and me both, friend.
250
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,682
This is Monica.
251
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,282
Is it? Because apparently everything else
that comes out of your mouth is a lie.
252
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,006
Shit.
253
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,482
Look, Richard, I totally understand
if you're pissed at me,
254
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,002
but please know that I tried as hard as I could
to get him to tell you.
255
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,003
Oh, really? Well, that's not what he said.
256
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,082
Oh, really? What exactly did he say?
257
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,403
He said that he found it
on a piece of paper in Laurie's office.
258
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:43,087
What? Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
Who's the "he" that you're talking about?
259
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,525
You know who. David.
260
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,161
My brother?
261
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,327
What?
262
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,243
Who the fuck... I don't know.
263
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,288
No, David, the fucking PR guy
264
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,362
who's not going to take a job with us
because of what you did.
265
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,206
Richard, I am totally lost.
What exactly do you think I did?
266
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,566
You can play dumb all you want to.
267
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,325
It won't change the one thing
that both you and I know is true.
268
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,129
You dumped your stock.
269
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,649
What? No. I didn't dump
a single share of my Pied Piper stock.
270
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,529
- I swear.
- Well, then who the fuck did?
271
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,964
And make sure that the money reads.
272
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,122
I mean, Pied Piper is a billion-dollar company.
273
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,440
It's not just a unicorn.
274
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,284
All right, let's do some rearing.
275
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,640
There we go.
276
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,564
Now, let's let the horns
sort of look like my dick.
277
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,451
Perfect.
278
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,485
Are you fucking kidding me?
279
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,721
Richard.
280
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,206
Um, can we take a soft five?
281
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,601
I was going to tell you.
That's what tomorrow's brunch was for.
282
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:36,446
Brunch? You had 10 fucking days
and you didn't say a thing.
283
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,568
Fine. You want to know why I didn't tell you?
284
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,005
Because it's fucking humiliating.
285
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,241
I'm broke, Richard.
286
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,243
Did you hear me? I'm broke.
287
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,204
Erlich Bachman, the name
that used to be synonymous with success,
288
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,442
went broke and was forced to sell.
289
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,841
- I got royally fucked, Richard.
- You got fucked?
290
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,083
You're the one who threw
a million-dollar party.
291
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,162
- Yeah, but it was a great party.
- No one forced you to do that.
292
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,890
Admit it, you fucked yourself.
293
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,924
But I'm not gonna let you fuck my company.
294
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,089
I'm going to have to issue a press release
explaining what you did and why.
295
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,650
No, no, come on. This isn't out.
296
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,530
-It's one PR guy.
- That we know of, Erlich.
297
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,682
How many other people
saw that piece of paper?
298
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,207
How many people has this guy talked to?
299
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,602
This is Silicon Valley.
Rumors spread like light speed here.
300
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,690
How are we gonna get
good people to work for us
301
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,286
if they think something funky
is going on with our stock?
302
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,405
How are we going to scale?
This is gonna kill us.
303
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,051
Richard, do you know what happens
if this goes public?
304
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,202
- I'm Ron Wayne.
- Who?
305
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:35,604
Ron Wayne, the guy that owned 10% of Apple
and sold it in 1976.
306
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,762
No one in this town
will work with me ever again.
307
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,401
You want me to risk
the entire future of Pied Piper,
308
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,608
everything that I've worked for,
309
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:48,561
just to protect you from
your own fucking incompetence?
310
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,690
Richard, there's a 3% to 4% chance
that this is going to get out on its own,
311
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,728
but there is 100% chance
312
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:59,283
that if you issue a press release
no one will ever take me seriously again.
313
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,042
My dignity is in your hands, Richard.
314
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,331
Do with it what you will.
315
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,686
Gavin? Is that you?
316
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,081
Jack Barker. Nice plane.
317
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,650
Yours, too. Where are you headed?
318
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,291
I just needed to take a walk
and clear my head.
319
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,284
There's this great little hiking trail
near my lodge in Jackson Hole.
320
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,086
Get out of here.
I'm on my way up to J Hole myself.
321
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,810
Is that right? I thought you sold.
322
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,723
No, I just never go there.
323
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,321
So how long you going for?
324
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,811
Coming back tomorrow afternoon.
325
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,360
- Me, too.
- Oh, come on. Come on.
326
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:42,443
Seriously, we need to find a couple hours,
get together, catch up.
327
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,806
I could tell you some war stories.
328
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,046
Well, I'd love that.
329
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,367
I could tell you a few of my own.
330
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,126
- Well, be well.
- You, too.
331
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,043
- Take care, Jack.
- Yeah. See you.
332
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,361
Gavin?
333
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,086
Wait.
334
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,207
Uh, what are we doing here?
335
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,763
I mean, you're on your way to Jackson Hole,
I'm going to Jackson Hole.
336
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,730
You seem like you could use some company.
337
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,843
- You play chess?
- I do. Indeed.
338
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,285
Fantastic.
339
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,807
I tell you, when we get up to altitude
and the Wi-Fi kicks in,
340
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,282
I'm ActionJB62 on Hooli chat.
341
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,725
- Find me.
- I will.
342
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,882
- I'm glad we bumped into each other.
- Me, too.
343
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,362
- Really is a small world.
-It's crazy.
344
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,643
Okay, well, uh, I think it reads well.
345
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,321
And it's all in there.
This will definitely set the record straight.
346
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,880
Then again, you're basically
lighting Erlich on fire.
347
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,406
So what? He fucked the company.
348
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,881
He potentially fucked the company.
349
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,645
Are you kidding me?
Gilfoyle, back me up here.
350
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,881
This is thorny.
351
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,644
How is this even a question for you guys?
352
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,041
Honestly. I mean, it's not like
he's going to be out on the street.
353
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:54,444
He just sold 10% of a company
that's valued at least $50 million,
354
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,171
and now, suddenly,
we're giving him the benefit of the doubt?
355
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,927
Well, it sounds mighty Christian of you,
Gilfoyle.
356
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,362
There's no reason for hate speech, Richard.
357
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:13,209
I can see by the sour, pinched expressions
on all your faces
358
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,126
that Richard has filled you in
regarding the unfortunate circumstances
359
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,125
that have forced me to relinquish my stake
in your fair company.
360
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:26,047
Erlich, you should know that
I have written a press release.
361
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,328
- Oh?
- I'm not going to release it yet,
362
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,649
but if I hear wind of these rumors
spreading out of control,
363
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,611
I'm going to send it to every tech publication
and blog on the face of the Earth.
364
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,761
Do you understand?
365
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,047
- Even UPROXX?
- Yes, even them.
366
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,160
Also, uh...
367
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,690
This is the check for next month's use
of the house as our office,
368
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,728
but we'll be out by the end of the month.
369
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,689
Richard, it doesn't have to be like this.
370
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,401
From this point forward, you will have
nothing to do with this company whatsoever.
371
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,166
I'm replacing you on the board,
and I'm giving your seat to Jared.
372
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,128
- So that's it then.
- Yes.
373
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,361
So I guess we better get ready
for that Vanity Fair event.
374
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,966
What?
375
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,284
Did you not listen to a word I just said?
376
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,688
I heard thousands of words
about rumors and the need to contain them.
377
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,570
What do you think would happen
if I didn't show up to this Vanity Fair event?
378
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,051
I've already RSVP'd
379
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:21,727
and given them a list of phony
dietary restrictions just to cause a scene.
380
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,802
I told them I was pesca-pescatarian.
381
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:28,130
Which is one who eats solely fish
who eat other fish.
382
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,203
I think my absence would be noted.
383
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,767
- Erlich brings up a good point.
-It's true.
384
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,450
Let us not forget Meinertzhagen's...
385
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,284
Yes, yes, Meinertzhagen's Haversack.
386
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,362
We all remember his sack.
387
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,849
Okay, fine. Yeah.
388
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,888
Sure. You can come. I can't stop you.
389
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,688
Uh, I'll be taking the car and the hotel room
and you're going to have to drive yourself.
390
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,091
Consider it my farewell dinner.
391
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,406
See you at the event.
392
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,528
- Jared, are you okay?
-It's just so many emotions.
393
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:08,049
The board seat. I feel regret and a glee
that you would choose to honor me,
394
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,841
and terror at not living up
to your expectations,
395
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,531
and compassion for Erlich's loss.
396
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,051
Oh, Donald, you've come undone.
397
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,521
You still want him on the board?
398
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,008
Hi, there. Checking in. Richard Hendricks.
399
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,411
Fuck me. Hey, Richie.
400
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,965
Oh, God. Hey, Russ.
401
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,530
What's up, boy genius? You here fucking?
402
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,841
Huh? No. No, no, no fucking.
403
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,491
Just here for the Vanity Fair dinner.
404
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,721
Oh, yeah, I know that stupid dinner.
405
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,802
Bunch of VC douchebags
jerking each other off.
406
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,564
Speaking of, I got this girl at the bar,
407
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,085
I'm trying to take her up
to the presidential suite
408
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,770
before her fucking bridesmaids
ruin the whole thing,
409
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,365
but they're telling me it's booked.
410
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,529
Who is it? Is it Gore? Fuck that guy.
411
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,329
- Oh, God.
- I saw Pied Piper launched.
412
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,686
Haven't tried it, probably won't.
413
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,446
I don't even want to think about how fucked
I got missing out on Erlich's shares. Fuck.
414
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,044
Wait, he tried to sell you his shares?
415
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,726
Well, half of them.
He was pretty desperate to stay on the team.
416
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,802
Well, he didn't mention
anything about this to me.
417
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,565
Of course not. Why would he?
It's fucking humiliating losing all your money.
418
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,723
You think when I dropped below $1 billion
I walked around telling everybody? Fuck no.
419
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,847
You guys were the only ones who knew,
420
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,046
and I actually thought about
having you killed.
421
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,327
- I'm sorry, what?
- So Erlich and I, like two weeks ago,
422
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,566
we had a contract ready.
423
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,529
Five mil
I was gonna pay him for half his shares.
424
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,967
It was a win-win.
Then that robot, Laurie Bream,
425
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,849
sweeps in and cockblocks the whole thing.
426
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,730
She forces him to sell her all his shares.
You think she's gay?
427
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,885
Maybe. It hasn't come up.
I... So wait, she outbid you?
428
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,928
Outbid me? No, she didn't have to.
429
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,361
You don't even know how
your own fucking company works?
430
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,489
All right, Mr. Hendricks, we have you
staying one night in a deluxe double.
431
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,641
Okay, do you have a tub in that room?
432
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,801
Does he have a tub in that room?
433
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:40,927
I don't know. There's no way of telling.
434
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,082
You know what? Fuck it.
I'm gonna take her to the W.
435
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,845
She's so drunk she won't know the difference.
See you around, Richie.
436
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,605
Hey, it's C.J.
437
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,685
Listen, I'm hearing a rumor about
some serious ugliness going on at Pied Piper.
438
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,649
I've heard it from three different people now.
You need to call me.
439
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,366
Fuck.
440
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,610
What in God's name is the reason
to get a higher education?
441
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,523
You can just buy a megafreeze for 35 cents.
442
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,045
Laurie, can I talk to you for a second?
443
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:20,805
Yes, uh, Richard Hendricks,
do you know Mark Pincus?
444
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,881
Hello. Big fan.
445
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,928
Oh, okay. Yes. Um...
446
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,923
- Sorry, just one second.
- Yes. All right.
447
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,085
I'm sorry to cut away like this.
We can continue discussing this.
448
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,930
Okay, uh, look,
I know Erlich sold you all of his shares.
449
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,970
I'm just wondering
exactly how that happened.
450
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,486
Ah, yes. It was one of my finer moments.
451
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:46,451
Erlich came to me with an outside offer
to sell half of his Pied Piper shares.
452
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,444
To Russ Hanneman for $5 million.
Yes, I know.
453
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,649
But somehow you ended up
with all of his shares. How?
454
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,042
Oh, well, as you know,
the same onerous terms you accepted
455
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,804
when you took Russ Hanneman's money,
456
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,684
they transferred to me when I bought him out.
457
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,762
These included the right
to block any transfer of stocks
458
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,247
with a majority vote of the board.
A board which I control.
459
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,329
- I don't understand.
- Of course you do.
460
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,924
If I have approval of any buyer,
and I am the only buyer I approve,
461
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,764
then I can set my own price.
462
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:18,011
So I asked Mr. Bachman
for a thorough accounting of his debts,
463
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,845
which ran to approximately $713,000.
464
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,649
And how much did you give him?
465
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,609
$713,000.
466
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,207
Jesus. So, he walked away with nothing.
467
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,683
Oh, yes. And so as I said,
you're the one who accepted these terms,
468
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,649
so you're the one
who enabled this action on my part.
469
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,768
All credit goes to you, Richard. Excuse me.
470
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,808
Dick. Dick Costolo. One moment.
471
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,006
I need to speak with you.
472
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,290
It's expensive to replant.
473
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:50,807
No. The vines are bad. The soil is bad.
474
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,242
Excuse me, what is that?
475
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,805
That's pesca-pescatarian.
476
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,243
- It's fish that...
- Actually, just bring me one of those.
477
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,890
- Me, too.
- Yeah, waiter, I'll take one, too.
478
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,803
- I want one.
- I want one of those also.
479
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,890
Wait, hey, hey, I'd like that also.
480
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,210
Excuse me,
if he's having one, I want one.
481
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,089
You're getting that, I want it, too.
Excuse me!
482
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,400
Hey, I thought you were at the dinner.
483
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,720
I left.
484
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,851
Erlich never showed. Is he here?
485
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,082
Yeah. He's hiding in the backyard.
486
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,491
Why?
487
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,089
Have you not seen the article?
488
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,161
No.
489
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,684
"Is Erlich Bachman
the Dumbest Man in Tech"?
490
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,206
What the hell is this?
I never sent anything out.
491
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,529
- Who did they talk to?
- Erlich.
492
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,368
This is C.J.'s blog.
He outed himself to protect Pied Piper.
493
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,681
Yeah, this is way harsher
than anything you ever wrote.
494
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,849
Plus, there's the visual component.
495
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:02,050
Speaking of... Where's your jacket, Jared?
496
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,328
That was quite a piece.
497
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,969
Informative. Thorough.
498
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,168
You certainly know how to make an impact.
499
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,684
And I guess I don't have to worry about
any rumors coming out.
500
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,046
Those are handled.
501
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:26,160
You know, Erlich, uh,
Pied Piper still needs a head of PR.
502
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,960
You seem to be well-versed
in media outreach.
503
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,849
And by your own admission in that article,
your head is, uh, what did you say,
504
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,249
so far up your own ass
you can see the future.
505
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,321
And that could be useful.
506
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,724
If we need a pre-cog...
507
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,121
...in away.
508
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,005
Uh, I don't know if you're available, so...
509
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,401
Are you offering me a job?
510
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,403
Well, we have a good option package.
511
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,806
It won't be quite what you had,
but it's something.
512
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,251
That's very generous.
513
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,971
So things could go back
to the way they were before.
514
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,010
Well, no. No. Not exactly the way they were.
515
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,768
No, no. Uh, well, this would be an actual job
and you would have responsibilities.
516
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,207
Would this job have a title?
517
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,126
Something, say, Chief Evangelism Officer?
518
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,884
So, "CEO"?
519
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,367
- Oh, my goodness!
- What the fuck was that?
520
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,521
Richard.
521
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,251
The Pied Piper app
just got accepted into the Hooli store.
522
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,051
What? Holy shit.
523
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:39,047
Gavin Belson just presented us
with his bare buttocks in submission.
524
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,407
We beat him. I don't hug. No.
525
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:45,485
Um, okay, hey, look, time to issue
your first press release, right?
526
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,883
It's very late, Richard, and I'm very high.
527
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,041
Erlich, I don't care.
528
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,043
You have to do it, okay? Now.
529
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,407
- It's your job.
- Okay.
530
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:55,686
All right.
531
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:01,926
C.J. Cantwell.
532
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,923
Erlich Bachman. The reason I'm calling
533
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,921
has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever
with the fact that I own half of your blog
534
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,729
and everything to do with the fact
535
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,044
that I was just named
Chief Evangelism Officer of Pied Piper.
536
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:19,086
Feel free to abbreviate that,
whatever acronym is most economical.
537
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,207
And I have a story.
538
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,931
Well, if it's anything like this last one,
I am all for it.
539
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,606
I am getting so many paid views
on your tell-all.
540
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,523
Everyone in the Valley is reading it.
541
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,843
Well, that's good. For you.
542
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,445
At my expense, I guess.
543
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,450
Anyway, I had no choice.
544
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,409
As you said, it was going to come out
one way or another.
545
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,926
Why? No one knew about any of it
until you told me.
546
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,924
What do you mean? You said that
you had heard from a bunch of people
547
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,129
that there are all these rumors
about ugly shit going down at Pied Piper.
548
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,771
That's literally the only reason
that I told you any of this.
549
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,289
What?
Oh, yeah, three different people told me
550
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,727
that Pied Piper had
the ugliest jackets they'd ever seen.
551
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,807
Jackets?
552
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,962
I was going to do, like,
a whole swag fail thing, you know?
553
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,491
That could have been cool, no?
554
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,683
Who the fuck cares about jackets?
555
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,287
Hey, come on, babe
556
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,124
Follow me
557
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,441
I'm the Pied Piper
558
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,206
Follow me, I'm the Pied Piper
559
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:17,126
And I'll show you where it's at
560
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,970
Come on, babe
561
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,280
Can't you see?
562
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:24,206
I'm the Pied Piper, trust in me
563
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,487
I'm the Pied Piper
564
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:31,248
And I'll show you where it's at
565
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,367
Girl, don't be scared to move
566
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,206
Hey, babe, what are you tryin' to prove
567
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,205
It ain't true that your life has kicked you
568
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:49,605
It's your mind and that's all that's trickin' you
569
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,366
So step in line
570
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:58,525
Hey, come on, babe, follow me
571
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,491
I'm the Pied Piper, follow me
572
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,006
I'm the Pied Piper
573
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:09,728
And I'll show you where it's at
574
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,483
Come on, babe
575
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,085
Can't you see?
576
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,926
Come on, babe, follow me
577
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,129
I'm the Pied Piper