1 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,610 Okay, one extra-large virgin margarita. 2 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,807 - Thank you, Richard. - What took you so long? 3 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,201 Uh, I actually... Uh, I met a girl. 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,323 It's called the bartender, she works here. 5 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,890 No, no. It's a real girl. 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,968 And I actually got her real phone number. 7 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,647 Check you out, Mr. Casanova. 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,131 Where is this individual? 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,206 Um, she's right over there. 10 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,805 The tall dude? 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,326 No, behind him. 12 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,051 Oh, she must be hiding behind that attractive girl in the red sweater. 13 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,600 No, it is the attractive girl in the red sweater. 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:41,806 - Oh... - Please stop looking at her. 15 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,325 She's magnificent. 16 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,765 You sure it's not the tall guy? 17 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:49,050 Why are we surprised that young Richard is garnering the attention of ladies? 18 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,890 After all, he's king again. 19 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,121 Women like that. 20 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,646 Okay, so she's a founder hounder. 21 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,722 Come on, no, it's not like that. 22 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,246 But you did tell her that you're the CEO of your own company? 23 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,446 it came up. 24 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,081 But I mean, honestly, how else was I going to explain that me and my friends were at a bar? 25 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,207 That is a good point. 26 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,363 Anytime you're near a woman, it is important to explain why. 27 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,568 Otherwise, they get nervous. 28 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:17,246 Gentlemen, to Pied Piper's past, and now present, CEO. 29 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:18,560 Oh, what about future? 30 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,247 Jared, we'll worry about that later. 31 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:23,163 Tonight is about Richard. 32 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,845 To Richard. 33 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,201 I think you'll find I'm a pretty tolerant boss, 34 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,887 but, Gleb, your last commit, you did use spaces over tabs. 35 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,811 Um, I don't know why you'd commit to that. 36 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,168 Uh, so, just tell me why on Earth you would do something like that. 37 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,130 Is not so big a deal. They're very much the same. Yes? 38 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,248 Yes, yes, he's right. They're very much the same. 39 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,970 No, no, sorry, they're not the same. 40 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,929 At least not in my book. Um, um... 41 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,522 One is right, and the other is wrong. 42 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,961 Why didn't anyone tell Gleb to use tabs? 43 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,361 Yeah, we did. And it's in the company style guide. 44 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,809 I just don't think Gleb realized how seriously Richard takes this stuff. 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,928 Yeah, I've honestly never understood it myself. 46 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,924 I mean, once the code goes through the compiler, 47 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,331 there's effectively no difference. 48 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,131 I know, but coders go, like, batshit over it. 49 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,928 At Hooli, I once saw two engineers get into a fight so vicious, 50 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,445 they almost made physical contact. 51 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,487 What? 52 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,324 Okay, guys, back to work. 53 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:32,644 Uh, Gleb, Sanjay, everyone, do you understand tabs? 54 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,485 Yes, yes. You have made this very clear. As clear as crystal. 55 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,527 Okay. 56 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,365 Good, that's my little thing, and I'll hand you back to Dinesh now. 57 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:44,401 He's the man with the plan, and the pretty cool tan. 58 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,208 -it's not a tan, it's... - Yeah, I know, I know. 59 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,009 Uh, sorry. 60 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,366 This is how I was born. 61 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,006 Hey, Elisabet. Hi. 62 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,923 Um, before you go, I just wanted to say that 63 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,607 I thought your last commit was very impressive. 64 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,850 Oh, thank you. 65 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,526 Almost as nice as the fingers that typed it. 66 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,361 - Just call it like I see it. - Thank you. 67 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:13,083 Speaking of seeing, I will see you tomorrow. 68 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,170 Yes, you Will. 69 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,851 Bye-bye, Dinesh. 70 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,081 Bye, Elisabet. 71 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,361 Yuck. 72 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:23,720 What? 73 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,729 You don't actually think she was flirting, do you? 74 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,685 She works here. She's paid to interact with you. 75 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,331 Just like that bartender that Richard thought he was flirting with. 76 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,647 Uh, actually, she's not a bartender. 77 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,927 And for your information, we've been trading texts. 78 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,571 And we're going for drinks later, so... 79 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,320 Great. 80 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,406 If you go to the bar she works at, you can probably drink for free. 81 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,801 Again, uh, not a bartender. 82 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,845 Okay? She works at Facebook. 83 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,888 So she makes a lot more money than I do or you do. 84 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,889 And she's definitely not a founder hounder. 85 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,490 So, sorry. 86 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,010 Yeah, none of that adds up. 87 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,082 Hey, guys, check out Code/Rag. 88 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,571 What, did the Gavin piece post? 89 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,085 Indeed it did. 90 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,321 Oh. 91 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,165 "Gavin Belson's Hooli-Scrub Scandal." Awesome. 92 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,284 Man, Gavin cannot be happy about this. 93 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,561 Stay close. 94 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,246 Back up, back up. 95 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,890 You're on private property. Back to the sidewalk. 96 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:26,927 You're gonna get arrested. 97 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,001 Hey, Gavin! 98 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,565 Hello, I'm... 99 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,010 You know, a hundred years ago, 100 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,686 men like me could've had people like that killed. 101 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,565 Just like that. 102 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,486 You think captains of industry like Andrew Carnegie or Cornelius Vanderbilt 103 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,166 would've batted an eyelid? Please. 104 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,088 Times sure have changed. 105 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:51,761 Or have they? 106 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,561 Of course they have. 107 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,930 And for the better. 108 00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,726 Unless... 109 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,801 All right, forget it. 110 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:04,961 What are we doing about this article? 111 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,247 Can we sue this Cantwell woman for libel? 112 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,166 Gavin, libel laws don't really apply when what's written is true. 113 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,164 It's my understanding you did in fact instruct Nucleus engineers 114 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,561 -to obscure negative Hooli search... - I know what I did. 115 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,247 Forget libel. What about this unnamed Hooli insider she keeps quoting? 116 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,723 Everything this person is saying is obviously covered by a nondisclosure agreement. 117 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,245 Let's sue that person. 118 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,448 We don't know who that person is. 119 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,723 And reporters generally don't give up their sources. 120 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,531 Well, then I'll just have to light a fire under this reporter's ass, won't I? 121 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:40,922 You know, there was a time, not so long ago, when it could've been a literal fire. 122 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,571 But, as discussed, those days are gone. 123 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,926 Unless... 124 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,761 All right, forget it. 125 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,323 You people are useless. Thank you. You're excused. 126 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,965 It's Gavin Belson for C.J. Cantwell, please. She'll know what it's regarding. 127 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,886 Now, the stage should be here. 128 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,647 With Yeezy or someone comparable. 129 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,803 Now, I have yet to land on a theme. 130 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:22,488 Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties tend to go with the prison theme. 131 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:28,090 How much would it cost to make this look as if it were never a prison at all? 132 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,811 Spare no expense. 133 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,882 And if you think it would be cool, 134 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,442 I would love to have some sort of chocolate moat here, 135 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,605 with little boats floating down it filled with graham crackers and marshmallows. 136 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,569 It's been a childhood dream of mine. 137 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,166 And get the best chocolatier. We want to impress. 138 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,490 I'm inviting every asshole from the Valley to attend. 139 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,241 - You're inviting assholes? - Absolutely. 140 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,049 Assholes, shit dongles. 141 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,603 Any foe or enemy I've made over my storied career will be here. 142 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:01,163 That way, when I take the stage and unleash the power of Bachmanity, 143 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,842 they'll all be in the front row. 144 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,331 Erlich, uh, can we talk for a second? 145 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,081 What is it, Big Head? 146 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,804 I thought I told you to go watch something on your iPad. 147 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,405 I think we may have a problem. 148 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,448 That Code/Rag reporter I talked to 149 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,330 says that Gavin Belson is threatening to sue her 150 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,084 if she doesn't tell him who she spoke to. 151 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,166 - So? - So, she spoke to me. 152 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,403 No publicity is bad publicity. This might be great timing. 153 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,484 Exactly the reason that we are partners. 154 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,645 Okay, yeah, except if Gavin finds out it was me that talked to the reporter, 155 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,802 then he'll know I violated my NDA. 156 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:39,362 And then he could come after my entire settlement if that happens. 157 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,646 All two million. 158 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,563 I mean, 20 million. 159 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,846 Big Head, I'm not going to yell. 160 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,770 And I'm not going to hit you. 161 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,043 I'm just gonna ask you nicely, 162 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,805 why in the holy fuck didn't you tell me you signed an NDA, 163 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,724 you sweet, helpless little piece of shit? 164 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,484 Well, that's the thing about the NDA, 165 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,723 is that the NDA is actually covered under the NDA. 166 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,247 So if I told you about the NDA, it would've been a violation of the NDA. 167 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,244 And what about speaking with the reporter? What would that be? 168 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,083 Yeah. Shit. 169 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,967 So, what do you think I should do? 170 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,690 - I could call her back and... - No. 171 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,650 Let me handle it. You go wait in the helicopter. 172 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:22,767 - Okay. - Go. 173 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,763 Sasha, I'm going to need to go back to the mainland. 174 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,841 Oh, is there a problem? 175 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,605 Oh, no, no, no. Full steam ahead. 176 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,284 Mainland. 177 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,610 This is an island. 178 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,283 That's the theme. 179 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,725 Hawaiian. 180 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,404 We'll have a luau. 181 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,208 Yeah, somebody called me that in high school, 182 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,884 and the nickname just stuck. 183 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,930 Pakistani Denzel? 184 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,721 I mean, I don't see it. But everybody else does. So... 185 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,727 Maybe they should call him American Dinesh? 186 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,370 Stop. 187 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,124 Only if you stop first. 188 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,929 - No, you stop first. - You stop first. 189 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,809 - You go first. - No, I think you should. 190 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,121 Okay, I'll stop. Bye. 191 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,846 What's your end game here? 192 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,490 You think after your tired rap, 193 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,484 she's going to hop on a plane, fly halfway across the world, 194 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,407 and fuck you? 195 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,005 My motivations are pure. 196 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,568 Her and I have, like, a real connection. 197 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,530 She's so, like, nice and she's so down-to-Earth, 198 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,525 that it's like she has no idea how attractive she is. 199 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,608 You don't know how attractive she is. 200 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,729 Packet loss over Estonian broadband is terrible. 201 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,001 She could be hideous. 202 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,163 Well, I can't imagine that would matter to Dinesh one iota. 203 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:38,841 Right. 204 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:43,005 'Cause she's nice and very talented and has a great laugh. 205 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,048 And with any luck, she's not a dogface. 206 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,610 How was your date with Winnie? 207 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,966 Uh, well, pretty good, considering she's still in the other room. 208 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,168 Baller, you got lucky on the first date. 209 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,568 Yeah, did a little bit, not everything. 210 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,449 I mean, I slept in my jeans. 211 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,842 Well, take your time. Hunger is the best sauce. 212 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,570 You're right. Uh... 213 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,769 We did a little bit of under the shirts and light finger banging. 214 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,560 Oh, hey. 215 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,604 - Hey, I'm Winnie. - Oh. 216 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:18,960 Hi, I'm Dinesh. 217 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,405 Hi, I'm Jared. 218 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,251 - It is an honor to meet you. - Okay. 219 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,926 God, what a pleasure. 220 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,361 Thanks. 221 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,046 I'm Gilfoyle. 222 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,246 Are you a bartender? 223 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,050 I work at Facebook. 224 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,606 As a bartender? 225 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,603 I had a stuffed animal named Winnie. 226 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:36,681 Oh, wow. 227 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:37,921 I mean, it wasn't technically an animal, 228 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,209 I took a Ziploc bag and I stuffed it with old newspaper, 229 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,805 and then I drew a smile on it. 230 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,167 Okay, well, shall we have some coffee, milady? 231 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,481 - Sure. Let's do it. - Okay. All right. 232 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,241 We're already on to Elizabethan nicknames. 233 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,090 This is serious. 234 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,164 They'll be Ren Faire-ing soon. 235 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,287 It's healthy. 236 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:01,406 And now that Richard's dating, in solidarity, I think I might get back out there myself. 237 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,201 You make it sound like you've chosen not to date. 238 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,011 Yeah, absolutely. I wanted to focus on Pied Piper. 239 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:11,324 But, yeah, maybe now I'll fan out my plumage, so to speak, 240 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,523 and see what pretty birdies might share my nest. 241 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,050 Hey, Jared, if you fuck any pretty birdies in my server room, 242 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,884 put a tie on the doorknob, won't you? 243 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,167 As a signal. Yeah, good thinking. 244 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,931 Okay, so I'll just get the car keys, and then give you a lift home. 245 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,126 Okay, milady? 246 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,169 - Milord. - Oh, milady. 247 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,121 Okay. 248 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:37,330 So, Richard tells me you guys are building deep nets into your platform? 249 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,606 Oh, really? 250 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,206 What other company secrets did he blab to you? 251 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,443 Well, I'm a bartender. I wouldn’t understand all the science-y talk, right? 252 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,641 Touché. 253 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,007 So you do AI at Facebook? 254 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,051 No, but when I was at MIT, I did my master's thesis on game-playing AIs. 255 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,690 I did a lot of machine learning stuff. 256 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,444 For gaming? How does that work? 257 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,521 It's on my GitHub. 258 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,840 Do you want to check it out? 259 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,889 Gavin said he was gonna haul me into court, 260 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:03,726 and have a judge compel me to give up my source or go to jail. 261 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,404 Okay? I am not going to jail. 262 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,887 No, no one's going to jail, C.J. 263 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,521 Although, if you did, going to jail for protecting your source 264 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,285 would make you some kind of First Amendment hero. 265 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,567 It's pretty much the best thing that can happen to a journalist. 266 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,404 Journalist? I'm a tech blogger, okay? 267 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,562 I write stories for the Internet about the Internet. 268 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,483 I am not going to jail for that. 269 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,325 I know it is an inconsequential shit job. 270 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,764 It doesn't really contribute to culture in any way whatsoever. 271 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,083 We've established that you don't have any journalistic integrity, 272 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:37,371 but what would it cost to buy you some? 273 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:42,886 ...and then I figured out a way 274 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,884 to train a convolutional net to play Atari 2600 games. 275 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,689 - Uh-oh. - What? 276 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,246 Spaces. 277 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,722 Yeah, so what, you guys use tabs? 278 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,564 In this house, yes. 279 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:58,043 Richard is a bit of a zealot in the Tabs V. Spaces holy war. 280 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,969 I get that, for his company. Sure. 281 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,883 This goes much deeper. 282 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,089 I think he believes that people who use spaces are less than. 283 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,248 - Huh... - I wouldn't mention this to Richard. 284 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,925 You don't want to see him throw a hissy fit. 285 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,207 Okay. Shall we away, milady? 286 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,646 Nice to meet you guys. 287 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,051 Have fun. 288 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,522 - Bye. - Bye. 289 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,202 I actually kind of liked her. 290 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,731 Too bad Richard's going to fuck it up. 291 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,931 So, you moved the swimming pool? 292 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:31,644 Yeah, it just felt like it was way too far from the house, like, crazy far. 293 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,485 So I had this company come and just move it closer. 294 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:38,007 Uh-huh. But then you moved it back? 295 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,490 Yeah, turns out the guy who built this place knew exactly what he was doing, 296 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:45,326 and the pool was right where it needed to be the whole time. 297 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,165 But now I know that for sure, which feels good. 298 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,846 Nelson, do you like being wealthy? 299 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,570 Yeah, oh, man, it's awesome. 300 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,165 So you want to stay wealthy? 301 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,527 - Okay, yeah, sure. - Great. 302 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,841 Here are the three things you need to do, all right? 303 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,446 One, stop moving the swimming pool. 304 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,161 Oh, yeah, okay, I can do that. What else? 305 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:08,126 Two, you need to manage your expenses and track your receipts 306 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,608 a little bit better than this. 307 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,968 I'm only as good as the information I have. 308 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,047 Oh, you're great. 309 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,088 No, I wasn't fishing for compliments. 310 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:21,569 And three, I sense that people are taking advantage of you. 311 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,609 Oh, sorry, hold on. 312 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,890 Oh, it's Erlich, I should probably grab this. 313 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,962 Erlich Bachman, a perfect example. 314 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,884 You gave him signing power on your personal checking account? 315 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,200 Yeah, he's my business partner. 316 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,363 You're not structured as a corporation. You're a general partnership. 317 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,171 So he's essentially your spouse. 318 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,129 That's very dangerous. 319 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,281 But I trust him. 320 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,324 He's actually trying to save us money right now, so hold on. 321 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,401 Hey, man. 322 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,448 Big Head, wondrous news. 323 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,729 I eliminated the Gavin problem, and at the exact same time, 324 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,804 I closed funding on our first strategic investment. 325 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,730 We bought a blog. 326 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,322 Oh, cool. How much do blogs cost? 327 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,401 What? 328 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,562 Oh, nothing. We practically stole it from them. 329 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,130 What? 330 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,611 I'm bullshitting. 331 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,371 Half a million dollars. 332 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,521 Let me talk to him, please. 333 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,486 Uh, hey, hey, Erlich, could you talk to my business manager for a second? 334 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,006 No, I've got to jet, but tell him I'll see him at the party. 335 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,286 Good day, partner. 336 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,125 Okay, cool. 337 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,324 About the blog... 338 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,602 - Five hundred grand. - Oh, God. 339 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,762 I know, we practically stole it, right? 340 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,928 Your roommates are really funny. I like them. 341 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,604 They gave me a little shit. 342 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,928 Oh, well, you can't take that personally. 343 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,401 Oh, it's fine. They gave you shit, too. 344 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,370 Really? What about, like, my hair or something? 345 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,490 No. They tried to convince me you were some sort of formatting Nazi 346 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,040 about tabs versus spaces. 347 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,205 What? Me? A Nazi? That's ridiculous. 348 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,329 That's what I said, I mean, I use spaces. So what? 349 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,965 Mmm... 350 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,883 Yeah, so what? 351 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,281 See, they said you'd have a hissy fit if you found out. 352 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,362 Mmm-mmm. Hissy fit. Me? No. 353 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,487 I know. 354 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,324 You know. I know. 355 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,487 I mean, make up your mind, guys, 356 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,801 am I a Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits, you know? 357 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,121 Am I a Nazi who throws hissy fits? 358 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,521 I hope not. That was Hitler. That was, like, his whole deal. 359 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,841 I mean, that's pretty insensitive to the Holocaust, don't you think? 360 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,526 'Cause that's, like, what Hitler did. You know, he just, like, 361 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,171 killed so many people, so tragic, such a tragic time. 362 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,527 - Yeah. - I'm so glad we're not doing that anymore. 363 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,410 I mean, we, like I was, you know... 364 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,921 I want them all to die. I don't. I don't care. 365 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,162 I mean, I do care. Don't kill them. 366 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,526 Them... Jews. 367 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,962 Uh, anyway, what do you want to order here? 368 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,487 Is that our P2P protocol? 369 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,011 Yeah, I'm just hacking for fun. 370 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,811 I figured out a way to use our compression for RTC, so... 371 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,081 Video chat? 372 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,527 Yeah, I think it could be better resolution than Hooli-Chat. 373 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,170 Even over 3G. 374 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,891 It could just be, like, a fun, cool feature in the platform, you know. 375 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:54,602 And then coincidentally you'll finally be able to see what Elisabet actually looks like. 376 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,843 - Oh, yeah. - Huh. 377 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,365 I hadn't thought of that. 378 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,010 If you worked half as hard on the platform 379 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,771 as you do trying to ogle strange Slavic women, 380 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,481 maybe our shares would finally be worth something. 381 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,801 Hey, uh... 382 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,129 What the hell was that? 383 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,009 Can you give us slightly more, Richard? 384 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:24,371 Why did you tell Winnie that I think people who use spaces over tabs are stupid? 385 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:25,921 Because you do. 386 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,001 No, I don't. 387 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,605 And if I did, which I don't, 388 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,923 why would you say that behind my back to her? 389 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,561 I mean, things were just going so well, until she... 390 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,042 That was completely lovely. 391 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,571 Yeah, it was really nice. 392 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,881 You're really something. I'll give you a call later, okay? 393 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,406 Okay, cool, yeah. Great, sounds good. 394 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,847 Bye, Jared. 395 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,086 Bye. 396 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:03,927 Jared? 397 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,361 Yeah? 398 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,886 Who was that? 399 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,964 Oh, that was Carol. 400 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:16,848 So, uh, Jared, did you just have sex with her? 401 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,686 What? 402 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,886 I'm an adult, 403 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,770 and like the rest of you, I'm a sexual being. 404 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,204 You fucked her in the garage? 405 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,569 Well, it's the server room and my bedroom. 406 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:35,042 What, so you just meet a woman, 407 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,442 and then you have sex with her? 408 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,365 How often does this happen? 409 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,442 Well, if you're asking me how many times I've been in love, the answer is two. 410 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,484 But the rest, I won't talk about. 411 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,085 It's untoward. 412 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,840 Russ was right, this guy fucks. 413 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,124 Who was that gorgeous gazelle in the driveway? 414 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,607 Well, I've said all I care to, let's move on. 415 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,569 She let Jared have sex with her. 416 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,083 Jared, nice. Using that dick. 417 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,250 Gents, 418 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:14,010 I'd like to invite you to what promises to be the social event of the season. 419 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,567 Bachmanity Insanity. 420 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,846 Alcatraz? 421 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,082 Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable. 422 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,242 Jared, with regards to the... 423 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,326 You need a plus one? 424 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,524 Oh, no, thank you. I think it's too early for that. 425 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,601 Good idea. 426 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,331 Don't bring sand to the beach, there's already pussy there. 427 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:37,126 Richard, I assume you'll be taking your woman friend? 428 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,885 You know what? Yes. 429 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,201 She and I will be there together. 430 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,361 I'm going to make this work, 431 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,570 despite all your little attempts to sabotage my relationship. 432 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,325 You can do anything you put your mind to, Richard. 433 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,483 Including turning Alcatraz into Hawaii. 434 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,926 You Okay? 435 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,568 Yeah. Yeah, all good. Great. 436 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,850 - You know... - What? 437 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,442 My roommate's going out of town tomorrow, 438 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,524 so if we want to come back here after Erlich's party... 439 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,685 Oh. Okay, yeah. Sure, that sounds good to me. 440 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,250 All right, it's a date. 441 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,084 See you then. 442 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,766 Richard, what's wrong? 443 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,844 Nothing. Nothing. Literally, it's all good. 444 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,366 Come on. 445 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,771 - Oh, my God! - I'm sorry. 446 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,330 Your roommates were right, you really hate spaces. 447 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,771 No,no,no. 448 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,889 I don't... It's not hate. Hate's a strong word. Um... 449 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,964 Truth be told, I do have a slight preference for tabs. 450 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:07,206 But that's only because I'm anal and because I prefer precision. 451 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,410 Well, not to pick a fight here, 452 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,041 but if you really care about precision, wouldn't you use spaces? 453 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,285 - N... - But whatever. 454 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,442 Once it goes through the compiler, it's the same thing, right? 455 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,881 Yeah. Yeah, technically, yes. 456 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,126 I guess I just don't understand why you... 457 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,850 Anyone would use spaces over tabs. 458 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,969 Like, if it's all the same, why not just use tabs? 459 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,486 Because it could look different on other people's computers. 460 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,847 Tabs create smaller file sizes, all right? 461 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,001 I run a compression company. 462 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,970 Trust me, I've devoted my life to minimalizing file sizes. 463 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,371 It's what I do. 464 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,490 I mean, I do not get why anyone would use spaces over tabs. 465 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,325 I mean, why not just use Vim over Emacs? 466 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,925 I do use Vim over Emac. 467 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,280 Oh, God, help us! 468 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,566 Okay. Uh... 469 00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,081 You know what? 470 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,447 I just... I don't think this is going to work. I'm so sorry. 471 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,487 I mean, like, what? 472 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,211 We're going to bring kids into this world with that over their heads? 473 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,645 That's not really fair to them, don't you think? 474 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,762 Kids? We haven't even slept together. 475 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,251 And guess what, it's never going to happen now, 476 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:15,042 because there is no way I'm going to be with someone who uses spaces over tabs. 477 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,331 Richard. 478 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,563 Wow, okay. 479 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:24,801 Good bye. 480 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,167 One tab saves you eight spaces. 481 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,401 on! 482 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,161 Oh, my God! 483 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,805 Richard, what happened? 484 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,009 I just tried to go down the stairs eight steps at a time. 485 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,171 I'm okay, though. 486 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,126 See you around, Richard. 487 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,201 Just making a point. 488 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:58,801 Huh. 489 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,569 This new video chat protocol is making your image crystal clear. 490 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,961 Wait one second, Dinesh. 491 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,727 Uh, Dinesh, I can't see you, it's all black. 492 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,488 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't give the camera permission to access the video chat, hold on. 493 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,244 Boom! 494 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,130 Yes, I can see you now. 495 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,247 It's me! 496 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,163 Pakistani Denzel! 497 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,161 Yes. 498 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,084 The Denzel who is from Pakistan. 499 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,369 This video quality is great, right? Looks so sharp. 500 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,524 That's what we do here at Pied Piper. 501 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,529 It's very impressive. 502 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:42,845 Um, I will have to tell my boyfriend all about it. 503 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,207 Boyfriend? 504 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,609 You never mentioned a boyfriend. 505 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,125 Oh, no? Um... 506 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,531 This is because he's now just husband. 507 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,049 Um, I keep forgetting to say this, husband, 508 00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:00,963 but it is very good to see you this way, and we will talk more tomorrow. 509 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,084 Yeah, we'll talk... 510 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,880 Either she froze time, 511 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,529 met and married the man of her dreams, 512 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:16,731 unfroze time, and hopped back on to vid chat with you, 513 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,322 or you're the dogface. 514 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,482 Which do you think it is? 515 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,891 I'm on the fence. 516 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,286 What the fuck is going on? 517 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:32,042 Richard found a girl, you have a girlfriend, Jared is getting laid with a girl. 518 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,245 Hi, Mom. 519 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,801 Oh, God. 520 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,087 Winnie, Winnie, Winnie, Winnie. 521 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,288 Sweet, sweet Elisabet. 522 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,321 Gentlemen, mahalo for coming. 523 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,923 You must taste the breaded humuhumunukunukuapua'a, 524 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,727 flown in fresh this a.m. 525 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,690 What is mumu... 526 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,321 It's breaded. 527 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,367 Get ready. 528 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:27,321 In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage, 529 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,166 and I am going to ejaculate my success all over 530 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,084 the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. 531 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:38,569 Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback. 532 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,410 - Erlich? - Yes. 533 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:41,481 One moment. 534 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,570 - Sasha, you are doing an exceptional job. - Oh. 535 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,565 I mean, I see no evidence that we are not in Hawaii. 536 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,041 Hmm. We have a problem. 537 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,488 Just, several of our vendors are saying that your checks have bounced. 538 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,721 Uh, Sasha, hikiki'i. I'll be back. 539 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,931 Big Head, Big Head. 540 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,246 Why are our checks bouncing? 541 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,402 If you had responded to any of my phone calls, 542 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,323 I would've explained it to you. 543 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,765 And who the fuck are you? 544 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:15,050 Uh, Erlich, this is my business manager, Arthur... 545 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,567 Klaiman. 546 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,369 Klaiman. I knew it was something with Clay. 547 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,802 As I was explaining to Mr. Bighetti, 548 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,680 I've finally managed to get a handle on his finances. 549 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,684 Our finances. Continue. 550 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,685 After your considerable outlay on lifestyle, 551 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,124 this party and half a million dollars on a website, 552 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,761 you're functionally insolvent. 553 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,884 Big Head, you're broke? 554 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,360 We're broke, dude. 555 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,601 Erlich, it's time. 556 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,082 You have my number. I left it on your voice mail. 557 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,250 Several times. 558 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,964 Titans of the tech world, I give you Nelson Bighetti, Erlich Bachman 559 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,806 and Bachmanity! 560 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,447 - Aloha. - Uh, that means hello. 561 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,767 Oh, and goodbye.