1 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,004 Quite a plan you boys cooked up here. 2 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,365 Quite a plan. 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,931 I'm not sure what upsets me more, 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:23,804 that I have four employees that conspired to commit felony fraud, 5 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,724 or that I have four employees that are so stupid 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,280 I found out about it within 30 seconds. 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,810 Hearing it out loud, the first one seems worse. 8 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,521 We got sales, manufacturing, design, assembly, 9 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,768 logistics teams, they're all ready to go. 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:44,482 All of them on the payroll, all of them here to build me a box. 11 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:50,251 I have a deal, in principle, with Maleant to buy the box. 12 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,842 The second that we deliver a product that meets those specs, 13 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,649 we are cashing checks! 14 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,890 And you are the only four people in this building that are fighting me on it! 15 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,726 So give me one reason why I don't fire you right now, 16 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,930 claw back your options, make you unhireable all over town. 17 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,844 One goddamn reason! 18 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,961 Because you can't. 19 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,806 Excuse me? 20 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,850 This agreement says that you have 10 weeks 21 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,844 to complete a working prototype before the deal expires. 22 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,766 So how are you gonna do that if you fire us? 23 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:35,081 There are maybe eight engineers on Earth proficient in middle-out compression. 24 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,606 Five of them work for EndFrame, your competition, 25 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,160 and three of them are here in this office right now. 26 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,801 So if we're gone, I don't think you're ever going to get your box. 27 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,601 What do you want? 28 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,081 I want to build my platform. Now. 29 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,890 To complete the box project, it's going to take six months at least. 30 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,364 So, what I think maybe we should do is 31 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,086 take a little tip from your chart there and we compromise. 32 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:06,887 Compromise is the shared hypotenuse of the conjoined triangles of success. 33 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,281 Mmm-hmm. Yep. 34 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,931 So, uh, what I'm proposing 35 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,804 is we stand up the prototype, that's it. 36 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:19,681 We're not doing any custom features, no new versions, no maintenance, nothing. 37 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,846 Richard, the Maleant basement. 38 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,251 And no onsite support. 39 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,767 I think you can hire other engineers to do that fucking mole monkey work. 40 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:33,684 The second we write code that satisfies the basic minimum requirement of the deal, 41 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,889 we are off the box and on to the platform. 42 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,248 And that is my final offer. 43 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,849 So, what do you say to that... 44 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:44,921 - Whoa! - Ow! 45 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,525 - Richie! - Oh, my God! 46 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,170 Hey, hey. You okay? 47 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,607 - You were standing and then what happened? - Okay, I'm okay. 48 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,523 -It's just a little shocking. - Oh. 49 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,001 What were you saying? Did you... Do we have a deal or... 50 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,084 Yeah, Richard, we have a deal. You have a bloody nose. 51 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,288 That was pretty badass, Richard. 52 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,600 Until it wasn't. 53 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,489 Uh, this is not even a room. 54 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,523 This is a hallway. 55 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:24,281 Uh, it can't be because that is a bed, thus, this is a bedroom. 56 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,527 Two entrances and exits, cross drafts ahoy. 57 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:33,005 And it is the safest room in the event, unlikely, of a fire. 58 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,968 Ah. Oopsies. Don't mind me. 59 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,769 Ah, Fred, this is Jared. 60 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,571 He actually is, uh, a temporary resident. 61 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,723 While I have you, there were fresh droppings near my cot. 62 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,801 I think you were right. 63 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,565 The Havahart traps don't seem to be working. 64 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,725 I was thinking maybe we could just pick a day and just drench it in hawk urine, 65 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,724 because the scent of a predator can keep rodents at bay. 66 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,122 It's funny, we're named Pied Piper, but we're beset with rats. 67 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,125 Little rascals. 68 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,960 Fuck this. 69 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:11,410 I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code for 48 hours, and I want to kill myself. 70 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,322 How do you do it every day, Dinesh? 71 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,601 What a coincidence. 72 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,445 I've also been writing bullshit code for 48 hours, 73 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,568 and want you to kill yourself. 74 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,281 Guys, please. Let's just shit this thing out so we can get on to building the platform. 75 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:25,881 Hi. 76 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,845 - Hi. - Dang. 77 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,484 - What? - I'm Dang. 78 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:32,841 I'm dang? 79 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,361 Dang. 80 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,240 What... 81 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,367 My name is Dang. 82 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,131 Oh, my... I'm sorry. What can I do for you? 83 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,170 I'm heading the design team that's building the enclosure for the box. 84 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,288 It's time for the concept meeting. 85 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,210 "Concept meeting?" 86 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,284 Okay. I'm just going to show you a few pictures, 87 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,362 and you tell me which ones you like, okay? 88 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,720 Okay. Sure. 89 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,682 Look... Wait, hold on. 90 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,081 I thought you were going to show me pictures of boxes. 91 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,764 Like data storage devices. 92 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,887 Before I can actualize a box, 93 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,970 you and I need to develop a shared aesthetic vocabulary. 94 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,042 Otherwise, I have no idea what you're going to want. 95 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,247 I have a lot of work to do right now. 96 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,846 This is work. This is my work. 97 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,321 What we're doing here could actually save time. 98 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,731 Okay. Sure. Yeah... 99 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,848 Look, let's just make this simple. 100 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,685 If the box were an animal, what sort of animal would it be? 101 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,486 Leopard? 102 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,162 Butterfly? Rhinoceros? 103 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,049 Stop. Animal? 104 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,690 It's a box. Right? 105 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:46,368 Okay, so if you need an animal, make it a box turtle. How does that sound? 106 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,361 So this is all kind of a joke to you? 107 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,525 You know what? I don't actually give a flying fuck what this box looks like, okay? 108 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,046 If it was up to me, I wouldn't even have it in the first place. 109 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,201 So, look, here. 110 00:05:57,280 --> 00:06:01,126 This is a black rectangle. 111 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,726 Make it that, all right? 112 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,366 Because we're going to take it and put it in a hole 113 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,886 in a sub-basement in a data center, where no one can see it 114 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,442 except for a sad man named John with a ponytail. Okay? 115 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,046 Just make it a box. 116 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,327 And please turn off that fucking music. 117 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,721 Hello! 118 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,568 It appears there has been a mistake. 119 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,325 Is this not my parking space? 120 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,370 Sorry, a lot of premium spaces are being reassigned. 121 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,808 14-A, you've been reassigned to lot D. 122 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,401 Lot D? 123 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:44,970 The structure? 124 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,325 Beyond the freeway? 125 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,210 Anywhere above level three, those are reserved. 126 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,328 There's a shuttle stop on the ground level. 127 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,847 A shuttle? 128 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,731 Call Gavin Belson. Cell. 129 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,167 Greetings, friend, 130 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,285 I'm not available right now. Please leave a message after the beep. 131 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,328 - I'll get back to you as soon as I can. {HORN HONKS 132 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,165 What the fuck? Why isn't this working? 133 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,441 Gilfoyle's preprocessor and my compressor should integrate seamlessly. 134 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,691 This should work. 135 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,325 I may have made my preprocessor slightly faster than you asked me to, Richard. 136 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,728 What do you mean? How much "slightly faster"? 137 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,565 200 megs per second. 138 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:44,766 You dick. 139 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,047 That's eight times as fast as the specs required. 140 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,282 No wonder our modules aren't running at the same speed. 141 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,566 Why would you do that? 142 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,441 I tried to make it slow. I really did. But I'm not Dinesh. 143 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,288 It's very difficult for me to do shitty work. 144 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,244 So, I added a differencing library 145 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,891 and then the whole thing just took off like a rocket. 146 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,768 Wait, so you're not processing whole files, just the changes? 147 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,484 That's actually pretty cool. 148 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,721 Yeah, I thought so, too. 149 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,205 That's why I wrote it. 150 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,562 All right, well, I guess I should just revert back. 151 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,485 Right? 152 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,762 Slow my preprocessor way down. 153 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,005 Although, Richard, 154 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,642 couldn't you just rewrite the compressor to make it faster so it's compatible? 155 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,609 I mean, these are minimum speeds, right? 156 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:33,004 Just 'cause making the box sucks doesn't mean we have to suck at making it. 157 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,646 Yeah. Okay. Um, here's one idea. Uh... 158 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,602 What if we actually move upstream and connect the parser... 159 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,570 Directly to the compressor seed functions. 160 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,685 Okay. 161 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,444 Well, then, the whole thing would really fly. 162 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,444 - Yeah. - That would rock. 163 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,601 Hey, Richard, do you have a sec? 164 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,484 I have a preliminary render for you. 165 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,641 What is that? 166 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,571 What do you mean? It's a box. 167 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,202 That's not our box, is it? 168 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,362 Yes. It's exactly what you asked me for. 169 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,842 You drew a rectangle and said, "if it was an animal, it'd be a box turtle." 170 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,890 I mean, are you just going to do the bare minimum and call it a day? 171 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,121 I mean, is that, like, what you do? 172 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,641 You said it didn't matter, you said you didn't care. 173 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,848 No one's caring about this. I'm just saying, like, 174 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,843 it's just a matter of pride and, like, self-respect. 175 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,251 I mean, that's gonna go on brochures, man, 176 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,244 that's like an advertisement to you and the company and everything. 177 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,403 I can maybe add some color to it and give the bezel a little slam. 178 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,482 There you go. Definitely, a slam. Slam it. 179 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,800 Yeah, maybe add some more lights. 180 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,881 Sure. Yeah. 181 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,122 Well, hey, what are you doing standing around here talking about it? 182 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,202 You should go do it, you know? Go ahead and make the damn thing. 183 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,682 Make it a jaguar 'cause I have a feeling this baby is going to purr. 184 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,845 I don't care either, but, you know, I think maybe a gazelle is more like it. 185 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,570 'Cause it's synonymous with speed. 186 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,120 Fuck that. A cheetah's faster. 187 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,611 And it kills fucking gazelles. 188 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,091 But I really don't fucking care. 189 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,924 But definitely cheetah. 190 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,126 Or a gazelle. 191 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,969 Also, don't throw away the whole jaguar thing, 192 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,530 -yeah, 'cause they're pretty quick too. - Or a gazelle. 193 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,163 Ah! Jared, Jesus fuck! What are you doing? 194 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,765 Sorry. I was... 195 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,525 I was just taking a quiet moment to collect myself. 196 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,605 What the hell is all this shit? 197 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,604 My tenant has been leaving my belongings in the alley behind my condo, 198 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,370 to make more room for his tenants. 199 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,726 Your tenant has tenants? 200 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,207 Yeah. 201 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,282 He's Airbnbing my Airbnb. 202 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,570 So, if it's okay with you, I might need to stay a little bit longer. 203 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,803 Um, I can go around the back to get to the bathroom once Fred's here. 204 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,881 When's he moving in? 205 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,724 Wouldn't we all like to know. 206 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,724 Fred, Erlich Bachman. 207 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,645 You said you'd get back to me about the room. 208 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,530 I don't mean to pressure you, but I need you to decide now. 209 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,648 In this moment, on this phone call. 210 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,361 I am literally standing within feet of three potential candidates 211 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,205 whose selves I could easily tell to go fuck... 212 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,604 "Good"? What do you mean "good"? What does that mean, you're "good"? 213 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,285 What? What other incubator? Where? 214 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,730 What is the address? 215 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,526 Because I want to send them a fucking nice gift! 216 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,843 Fucking Miami Vice. Disgusting architecture! 217 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,561 Hey, man. What are you doing here? 218 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,210 What the fuck are you doing here? 219 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,521 What do you mean? This is my house. Crazy, right? 220 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,807 This place is huge. 221 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,411 Did you want to... 222 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,486 Yes, it would be polite for you to invite me into your home 223 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,483 and offer me a Push Pop, yes. 224 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,686 I'm sorry. 225 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,048 You're telling me that we should spend less time together? 226 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,770 Absolutely, Chela. 227 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,241 Well, I have to say, this is a big relief. 228 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,082 In all candor, I was feeling the same, 229 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:59,370 but I thought that discussing it with you might be awkward. 230 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,324 Not at all. 231 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:06,806 You are ready, Chela, to stand on your own, to weather the challenges of the future. 232 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,126 And the rumors swirling about your leadership. 233 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,406 Be well, Gavin. 234 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,642 I'm sorry. Wait, what... 235 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,051 What rumors? 236 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,885 There is talk that in the face of a growing threat 237 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,681 from Richard Hendricks and Pied Piper, armed with a powerful new CEO, 238 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,444 that you have done nothing. 239 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,646 - Well, yes, but... - And that by shuttering Nucleus, 240 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,530 you have left them to gather strength unopposed, 241 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,250 ceding the entire space. 242 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,244 Some are saying this is a show of great weakness. 243 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,966 Who? Who exactly is saying this? 244 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,090 Well, people talk. 245 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,329 In the halls, in the cafeteria, on the parking shuttle. 246 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,165 Wait, should I be worried about this? 247 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:57,208 The beauty is, now you have all the answers. 248 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,007 Yes? 249 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,760 All right. 250 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,325 Denpok, please. 251 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,688 Will you sit back down? 252 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,205 I need your help. 253 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,566 Of course. 254 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,006 Thank you. 255 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,687 Clearly, we have come far, but we still have far to go. 256 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,483 Not as far as lot D, 257 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,410 but far nonetheless. 258 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,251 Look what you guys built. 259 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,526 You can't help but be elegant. 260 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,648 You're like Audrey Hepburn. 261 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:34,801 Here they come. 262 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,042 Well, I know we made a big deal 263 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,363 about just doing your absolute minimum of your specs, 264 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,011 but one thing led to another and, well, Jack, 265 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,163 buckle your seat belt because I'd like to introduce you to... 266 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,242 Richard, just save it. 267 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,401 Just got off the phone with Calvin Greene, CEO of Maleant. 268 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,649 - They're pulling out. - What? 269 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,006 How can they just pull out? 270 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,161 Because they shopped our deal 271 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,288 and got a better bid from another appliance maker, 272 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,607 so Maleant's out, they fucked us. 273 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,000 - Oh. - Yeah. 274 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,882 So, probably we should just push pause on the whole box thing 275 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,328 until we figure out where to go from here. 276 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,166 Okay. I... Actually, I have a question. 277 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,210 Yeah, I know. I know. I know, Richard, we had an arrangement, 278 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,806 but that was all based on closing the Maleant deal. 279 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,161 - So now we have to figure out... - No, no, no. Sorry. 280 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,288 No, my question is, who did they go with? 281 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,840 Whose box do they think is that much better than ours? 282 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,088 Oh, uh, Dectosphere. 283 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,286 Dectosphere? 284 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,124 It's a brick with a power cord. 285 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,405 Yeah. But I hear their new 43-11 s, 286 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,649 they're going to be hitting close to 75 megs per second. 287 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,962 Uh, we can do 200. 288 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,325 - What? - Yeah. 289 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,880 Do you think you can get me in a room with Calvin Greene? 290 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:48,961 This is the pool. 291 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,646 The first night I was here, I turned the heat, like, all the way up, 292 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,722 and half the water evaporated overnight. 293 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,847 It's crazy. 294 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:55,967 Well, I hope you own a skimmer 295 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,801 because there's a massive turd floating on the surface of your pool. 296 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,881 Who, Fred? Fred's great, man. 297 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,089 He's got this really cool, um, malware cataloging thing... 298 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,241 Cut the shit, Big Head. 299 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,924 I see exactly what you're doing. 300 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,206 Poaching my tenants? 301 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,009 You stole my business model. 302 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,329 What? No. Dude, it's not like that at all. 303 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,085 It's just, this house has, like, nine bedrooms. 304 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,810 You have any idea how scary that gets at night? 305 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,009 So I just wanted to have some roommates around, 306 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,287 but, you know, I felt weird charging them rent, 307 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,243 -'cause, you know. - No, I don't. 308 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,842 Well, it's, like, 20 million, you know? So I don't really need it, 309 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,447 but then they felt weird living here without paying me anything, 310 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,046 so they offered me pieces of their start-ups. That's all. 311 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,802 You just admitted to starting a competing incubator. 312 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,727 I've caught you in a web of your own lies, haven't I? 313 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,761 I don't think so. Wait, have you? 314 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,609 All right, Big Head. You want to play it that way? 315 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,445 If it's a fight you want, then a fight you shall have. 316 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,760 All of you! 317 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,565 See you, buddy. 318 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,360 Big Head. 319 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,247 We'll see. 320 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,611 Fuck! 321 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:15,966 What are we doing here? 322 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,929 Why are we fighting like this? 323 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,044 I mean, I'm gonna steal your guys, you're gonna steal my guys. 324 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,930 We'll both wield the heft of our considerable fortunes 325 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,287 until each of us have nearly nothing left. 326 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,601 Is that really what you want? Me either. 327 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,363 So what do you say we join forces? 328 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,851 I'm big enough. 329 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,042 Are you, Big Head? 330 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,081 Partners? 331 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:40,921 Okay. 332 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,241 Atta boy. 333 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,607 All right, I'm going to take a spin on that fancy Japanese toilet, 334 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,091 and then let's get to work 335 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,528 figuring out which one of these bedrooms is gonna be my office. 336 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,729 Consider the bulldog. 337 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,005 A grotesque monstrosity born of relentless inbreeding. 338 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,602 Riddled with sinusitis, crippled by joint pain, 339 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,401 chronically flatulent. 340 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,286 A kindly pet, or humanity's cruelest mistake? 341 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,610 All right, take it away. 342 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,168 Ladies and gentlemen, just like that horrible creature, 343 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,608 the entire Nucleus program was the result of inbreeding. 344 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:26,163 We mated Hooli engineers with Hooli designers in a Hooli kennel. 345 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,450 Is it any wonder the result was just as unspeakable as that thing? 346 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,126 Bring it back here! 347 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,521 Look at that hideous face. 348 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,809 All right, get it out of here! 349 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,402 I'm sorry, Gavin. What's your point? 350 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,246 My point is, just as not all dogs are as flawed as the bulldog, 351 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,006 not all compression plays are as flawed as Nucleus. 352 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,562 Our execution was lacking, but the idea was correct. 353 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,847 Our only mistake was looking inward. 354 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,809 It is now time to look outward. 355 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,890 I mean, this guy did all of the work. 356 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,201 Ten minutes after we leave Calvin Greene's office, 357 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,170 he calls me up and says, "Hey, you got me. How much?" 358 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,401 I just showed them the box, 359 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,369 Jack's the one who made the deal. 360 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,083 Good feelings, happy feelings. 361 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,686 So, Big Head built a better version of your incubator, accidentally. 362 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,091 Correct. 363 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,650 And he didn't even realize it? 364 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,131 Also correct. 365 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,602 And your solution to that was to go into business with him? 366 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,727 Big Head? 367 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:35,044 The guy you once called more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle? 368 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,090 Dinesh, don't fall for his "aw, shucks" routine. 369 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,083 He is a shrewd businessman. 370 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:46,566 And together, we have over $20,036,000 at our disposal. 371 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:51,171 Now, if you'll excuse me, on to Pied Piper. 372 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,090 I have a board meeting, and this board ain't exactly gonna meet itself. 373 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,366 Our subsequent order of business is the approval of Pied Piper's redraft 374 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,411 of the hardware requisition agreement with Maleant Data Systems Solutions. 375 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,766 Oh, yeah. 376 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,410 The main event. 377 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,326 We've all read the latest sales agreement, yes? 378 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,368 Actually, I don't think I was CC'd on... 379 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,568 So, I believe we can move straight forward to a vote? 380 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,801 Actually, I'm sorry. 381 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,089 I have an issue with, uh, section 14, paragraph two. 382 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:26,447 Um, it states that Maleant has exclusive rights to purchase any appliance made by Pied Piper 383 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,164 for the next five years. 384 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,527 Oh, uh, yeah. Jack gave them exclusive rights to the box 385 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,284 so that we would get a better price upfront. 386 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,482 Right, but this language is far broader. 387 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,406 They actually have exclusive rights to use the underlying algorithm in any form. 388 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:39,891 Oh, no. That's not right at all. 389 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,286 Yeah, so I think, Jack, 390 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,125 we're going to have to go back to them and just change the language here. 391 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,926 We're not going to be able to do that. 392 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,168 And, uh, why not? 393 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,484 Because that was the specific language which Maleant requested 394 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,770 when I got them to pay three times as much for each one of our boxes. 395 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:06,085 It's a white label deal, so they have the right to resell these boxes in any form they choose. 396 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,209 Yeah, but, Jack, if they have exclusive rights to the algorithm, 397 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,124 then we can't use the algorithm to build the platform. 398 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,531 For five years. 399 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,443 They wanted seven, I talked them down. 400 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,760 I know, but you said that we could 401 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,365 build the platform once we gave you the box. 402 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,411 Yes, but I never specified a time frame. 403 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,811 Are you serious? 404 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,721 I save your ass and you stab me in the back like this? 405 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:26,767 In the front, Richard. 406 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,205 Laurie, did you know about this? 407 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,122 - I did not. - Well, then, good, okay. 408 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,010 So it won't go through because Laurie's not going to vote for it. 409 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,927 Richard, this is complicated. 410 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,727 If one goes strictly by the numbers, these numbers, 411 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,725 you have built a box that is so valuable, 412 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,406 I am now obligated to vote in favor of it. 413 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,369 Laurie, this deal is peanuts. 414 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,601 The platform could be worth 1,000 times what the box is worth. 415 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,445 It could be, correct, however... 416 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,410 This is theoretical, Richard. 417 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,130 You don't have a price point, I do, 418 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,562 and she has a fiduciary obligation as a member of the board 419 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,880 to vote for the box. 420 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,282 On the page, this is in the best interest of the company. 421 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,407 Am I wrong, Laurie? 422 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,050 That is factually correct. 423 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,049 You remember when you tried to end run me and kill the box? 424 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,407 Well, she couldn't do a goddamn thing about it then. 425 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,051 And she can't do a goddamn thing about it now. 426 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,450 Simple majority ratifies the agreement, all in favor. 427 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,364 Are you kidding me? What the fuck is going on right now? 428 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:33,766 Laurie. 429 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,320 I wasn't carbon copied on this particular email, 430 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,646 so, I stand with Richard. 431 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,561 Um... 432 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,404 Richard, you know how I voted to fire you a couple months ago? 433 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,448 And I said that I did it to stay in the game, 434 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,888 so that maybe at some point in the future, I could do something to help? 435 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,883 Well, Laurie, 436 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,200 I know you'll probably replace me on the board 437 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,602 and call for a revote tomorrow, but I'm here today. 438 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,641 And I don't have any metrics to back it up, 439 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,242 but I honestly believe that the platform that Richard wants to build 440 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,767 will be far more lucrative in the long term than any box. 441 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:17,688 So, at least for today, I'm voting no. 442 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,451 Motion denied. 443 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,643 We will be reconvening tomorrow. 444 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,931 And if I could get a... An email, be CC'd on the latest draft... 445 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,888 I couldn't sit there and watch them do that to you. 446 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,207 I just hope I don't end up fired over this. 447 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,047 Well, what you did took incredible guts. 448 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,607 And the fact that it probably won't make any difference 449 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,170 makes it all the more meaningful. 450 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,204 Right, I saw this nature documentary 451 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,205 where a bison fought a lion to protect the rest of the herd. 452 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,964 And it was so moving. 453 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,728 It didn't work, the lion tore into the bison and then laid waste to the herd, 454 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,689 but what courage. 455 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,770 Thank you, Jared. 456 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,411 You guys just had to make a great box, didn't you? 457 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:10,766 You couldn't phone it in. 458 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:16,649 Uh, guys, Gavin Belson is calling me. Again. 459 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,166 What the fuck does he want? 460 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,161 Hello? 461 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,921 Richard Hendricks, just checking in, seeing if you heard the news. 462 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,561 What news? 463 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,925 Hmm. Obviously, you don't have your Hooli news alerts up to date. 464 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,730 Go to the site. I'll wait. 465 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,964 Go to the Hooli news website. 466 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,041 Okay. 467 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,847 It's an ad. 468 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,009 It's an ad. Hold on. 469 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,327 Just wait four seconds and you can click to skip it. 470 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,842 Just wait four seconds and then you can click it. 471 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,287 No, it's the kind where you have to watch the whole fucking thing. 472 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:53,771 It's the whole ad kind. 473 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,128 I thought we stopped doing those. God damn it. 474 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,124 Well, regardless, what you'll see once the paid announcement is over 475 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,768 is that I just closed a $250 million deal 476 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,804 to acquire a little company called EndFrame. 477 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,609 I thought you'd want to know. 478 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,967 Update those Hooli news alerts. 479 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,203 Also, I invite you to click "yes" if our ad experience was relevant to you. 480 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,611 Be well, Richard. 481 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:19,926 What did he say? 482 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:21,966 Oh, my God. 483 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,405 "Gavin Belson announces deal to acquire EndFrame, 484 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,801 "a middle-out compression platform company, 485 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,691 "for $250 million." 486 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,567 Even after they shit the bed with Nucleus, Hooli gets to build our platform and we don't? 487 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,326 What is funny about this? 488 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,811 He's intoxicated. 489 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,963 No. No... Yes, but don't you see? 490 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,563 Gavin, in trying to fuck us, just saved our asses. 491 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,411 He's right. He's right. 492 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,047 My gosh. Oh, my gosh, he's right. 493 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,485 Holy shit. 494 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,604 I am so confused right now. 495 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,681 Gavin set a... 496 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,206 He set the... 497 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,964 - The price point. - Yes! 498 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,771 Yes, yes, yes. Yes, thanks to Gavin, 499 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,525 EndFrame, a middle-out compression platform, 500 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,171 is objectively worth $250 million. 501 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,366 Wait, okay. 502 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,482 We are a middle-out compression platform company. 503 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,961 Are we worth $250 million? 504 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,042 There's no way the box makes us worth a fraction of that. 505 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:28,690 Laurie couldn't vote for the platform 506 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,001 because she couldn't assign a dollar value to it. 507 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,128 Well, Gavin has just done that. 508 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,124 He's validated the market, so there's no reason to revote 509 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,690 We win. 510 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,321 I can't wait to see the look on that AAR prick's face 511 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,210 when we come in there and gut him like a... 512 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,441 Is he okay? 513 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,885 He's gonna be fine. 514 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,367 Welcome, men and ladies of EndFrame. 515 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,728 Rather than incestuously promoting the same faces from within, 516 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,247 you represent fresh blood, new ideas. 517 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,607 Everything Nucleus was not. 518 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:05,481 It is my honor to personally welcome you all to Hooli. 519 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,168 Does he really not remember us? 520 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,562 How long did you work at Hooli? The last time? 521 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,085 Seven years. 522 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,764 I was here for nine. 523 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,171 He was invited to my wedding. 524 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,163 I hope Jack doesn't cry. 525 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,809 I really hope he does. 526 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,006 Hey, Gloria. Lynn. 527 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,771 Did they both get fired? 528 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,080 I don't... 529 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,289 Laurie. What are you doing here? 530 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:38,600 Where's Jack? 531 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,286 As you may recall, 532 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:46,001 at our board meeting last night, Jack said that he would get his way, 533 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,128 and that, in his words, 534 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,921 I, quote, couldn't do a goddamn thing about it, end quote. 535 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,281 Well, in light of recent activities, 536 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,045 it appears that I could do a goddamn thing about it. 537 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,724 And I just did. 538 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,643 Jack Barker has been exited. 539 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,131 Fuck me sideways. 540 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,406 Indeed. 541 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,566 Effective immediately, 542 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,201 you are all at liberty to commence work upon the platform. 543 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,128 Okay. Uh, wow. 544 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,850 Yeah, I just got to ask, 545 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,811 with Jack not being CEO anymore, am I CEO again? 546 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:22,927 You are not. 547 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:25,805 Nor are you, Mr. Bachman. 548 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,724 I'm sorry, if I'm not CEO, Erlich isn't, Jack isn't, 549 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,802 who is gonna run Pied Piper then? 550 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,246 Officially, and until further notice, 551 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,447 this chair will remain empty. 552 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:40,122 - What, really? - Excuse me.