1 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,804 How can Gavin Belson claim that he owns Pied Piper? 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,962 I mean, this whole lawsuit is insane, right? 3 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,123 Well, let me ask you something, Richie. 4 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,641 And I need you to be totally straight with me. 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,691 Was Pied Piper related in any way 6 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,127 to what you were doing when you were working at Hooli? 7 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,691 No. No, not at all. 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,331 I was doing quality assurance for mobile messaging. 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,289 It had nothing to do with compression. 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,647 They didn't even have a compression division at that time. 11 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,684 And did you work on Pied Piper on Hooli time 12 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,411 or use Hooli equipment to develop it in any way 13 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,324 - at any time, Richie? - No, and no. 14 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,241 Great. And by the way, 15 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,403 always tell me that. And tell yourself that. 16 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:51,643 Because if you believe it, a jury will, too. 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,648 I do believe it. It's the truth. 18 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,003 Great. That one was even better than the other one. 19 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,845 I love it. Always say it exactly like that. 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,727 Yeah, okay. Look, um... 21 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,969 We're going to win this, right? 22 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,771 Richie, if what you just told me is the truth, 23 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,441 and don't tell me if you lied, 24 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,010 Gavin's got nothing here. 25 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,447 This is a classic intimidation lawsuit 26 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,241 designed to freeze you until after Nucleus comes to market. 27 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:23,324 It's got all the usual boilerplate nonsense. 28 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,324 "Breach of contract," "unjust enrichment," 29 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:27,851 "breach of non-solicitation," 30 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,605 and the hiring of someone named Donald Dunn. 31 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,921 Jared. We call him Jared. 32 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,970 Changing his name to get out of it, clever but irrelevant, 33 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,249 because all we care about are the intellectual property claims. 34 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,687 And we will win this. 35 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,209 - Good. - But we're going to have to lawyer up. 36 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,001 What do you mean? Aren't you our lawyer? 37 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,731 I'm not a litigator. That's what you need. 38 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,771 Another lawyer? Really? 39 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,565 Lawyers, Richie. You don't want to mess around here. 40 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,962 A young start-up with an IP lawsuit hanging over its head? 41 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,045 I wouldn't want to be a part of that team. 42 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,647 Well, but you are a part of that team. 43 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,963 I'm part of the team that team is on. 44 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,764 Yeah. It just sounds really expensive. 45 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,401 Says the guy who just got bukkaked with fat term sheets. 46 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,329 Welcome to the business, Richie. 47 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,007 Look, wherever we're at with your funding, legal fees will be worked into the deal. 48 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,481 You've got Raviga. You're covered. 49 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,081 Relax. 50 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,010 "We're out"? What do you mean, "We're out"? 51 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,608 Was it not clear from the context? 52 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:37,010 We, at Raviga, are out of the business of funding Pied Piper, 53 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,845 at least while the Hooli lawsuit remains unresolved. 54 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,002 That suit is total nonsense. 55 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,811 Nonsense is not a quantifiable metric, Monica. 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,325 Risk is. 57 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,324 Funding any early-stage company is a high-risk proposition, 58 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,641 but compound that uncertainty with a legal cloud 59 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,291 over the company's intellectual property, and it's untenable. 60 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,847 And that is just the financial risk. There is also a legal risk. 61 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,002 We could become embroiled in Gavin Belson's lawsuit 62 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,366 for aiding and abetting. 63 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,922 And there is a political risk for the firm, 64 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,082 but especially for me as its new leader. 65 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,721 I'm being heavily scrutinized from both within and without. 66 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,851 I cannot have my first decision post-Peter be one with such dubious fundamentals. 67 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,570 It's a rudimentary decision. 68 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,604 How am I supposed to tell them this? 69 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,849 In my experience, it's best to look a person in the eye 70 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:25,288 and deliver the information with warmth and compassion. 71 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,041 Okay. 72 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,970 One other suggestion. 73 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,883 Dress unattractively when you tell them. 74 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,043 I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you, 75 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,010 the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange, 76 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,445 but it's credible. 77 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,889 May I suggest the beige ensemble 78 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,486 in which you came to work... Tuesday? 79 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,480 Things are just really different at Raviga, 80 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,927 and I had nothing to do with the decision. 81 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,801 Guys, I'm so, so sorry. 82 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,169 Wait, so the company that offered us the most 83 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,766 until Richard talked them into offering us the least 84 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,205 is now offering us nothing? 85 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,204 But the fact that you're so sorry makes it all better. 86 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,647 You guys will be fine. You'll find someone else. 87 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,247 We don't want someone else, Monica. The whole point of going with you guys 88 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,209 was because we trust you guys. 89 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,761 - Trusted. - We still have our 5% stake, 90 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,763 and Laurie said that I can still sit on the board, 91 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,649 which means I can still come to meetings... 92 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,006 Can I say something here? 93 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,925 First off, Monica, you're not fooling any of us for even a second 94 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,765 with your dress-shitty-to-ease-the-pain routine. 95 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,569 It's a classic chick break-up move, 96 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,530 and you're not very good at it, either. You look great. 97 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,247 Yeah, beige is a good color for you. 98 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,685 You're a true autumn. 99 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,763 Secondly, who cares? 100 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,084 We have a three-foot stack of term sheets from the top VCs on the face of the planet. 101 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,409 So the top one fell out. As Jay Z says, 102 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,811 "On to the next one." 103 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,729 Jared, who's our next best offer? 104 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,844 Between the numbers and the reputation, 105 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,570 that would be Coleman Blair Partners. 106 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,490 I'm gonna go put my face on. 107 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,962 Call Coleman Blair. Tell them that Santa Claus is coming early this year, 108 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,249 and he's bringing a big bag of Pied Piper. 109 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,200 Well, I'm going to leave this room without saying goodbye to you. 110 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,207 I'm sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces. 111 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,844 Sorry about that. 112 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,207 The guys are just a little emotional. 113 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,408 No, I get it. 114 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,688 And look, I probably shouldn't say this, 115 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,048 but there are a lot of really great VCs in town. 116 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,400 You'll be fine. I just... 117 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,411 Just what? 118 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,410 Just tell them that you're really excited to be in business with them 119 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,767 and try to close quickly. 120 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,763 You know, while momentum is still on your side. 121 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,048 Well, it's gonna break a lot of hearts on Sand Hill Road 122 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,088 but congratulations. 123 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,611 We decided to go with you. 124 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,203 Uh, we were told that you were going with Raviga. 125 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,085 And I am happy to say that is no longer the case. 126 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,640 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 127 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,530 Can I ask... Did you walk away from them, 128 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,161 or did they walk away from you because of the lawsuit? 129 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,963 Ah, that lawsuit we know to be frivolous. 130 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,606 Yeah. 131 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,965 Is that a Yes Folder? 132 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,891 No. 133 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,402 So, no pastries today, huh? 134 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,405 So both Raviga and Coleman Blair Partners passed 135 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,450 - because of the lawsuit? - Frivolous suit. It's nothing. 136 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,807 Well, it's not nothing. 137 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,202 Look, before we start negging each other... 138 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:53,285 - Negging? - It's a term used in sexual manipulation. 139 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,447 Maybe not relevant here. 140 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,046 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 141 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,121 Hmm... 142 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,442 We actually see this lawsuit as a positive. 143 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,605 We will win, and it proves that we have something worth suing over. 144 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,651 And yet Raviga, Coleman Blair Partners 145 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,963 and Wood Opal Fund have all passed. 146 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,531 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 147 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,001 Hmm... 148 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,963 You know term sheets aren't legally binding documents, right? 149 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,486 Of course not. They're just guidelines 150 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,045 that people follow 151 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,001 unless, of course, they're pussies. 152 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,363 You came in here three days ago. 153 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,489 You were arrogant, condescending and offensive. 154 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,642 Now you come in here, you call me a pussy... 155 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,485 Whoa! I did not call you a pussy. 156 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,647 I said that people who break term sheet agreements are pussies, 157 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:02,088 and that hasn't happened... Yet. 158 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,042 Thus, I haven't called you a pussy... Yet. 159 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,571 You're in control of the situation. 160 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,645 Hooli has the unlimited resources to hamstring you 161 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,082 until Nucleus comes out, at which point, they will be the market standard, 162 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,401 and you will be irrelevant. 163 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,689 We're here to invest in innovation, 164 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,161 not lawyers, 165 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,641 so let me be perfectly honest with you. 166 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,844 Your behavior 167 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,400 was boorish and juvenile... 168 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,563 You were rude, vulgar and uncouth. 169 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,843 You were coarse, graceless and puerile. 170 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,367 Obscene, insulting and ignorant. 171 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,566 Ignorant? 172 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,361 You called me a shit-riddled, anal wasteland. 173 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,922 You called me a chode-gargling fuck-toilet. 174 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,408 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 175 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,207 Uh, guys, I hate to panic you 176 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,282 until I'm absolutely sure it's warranted, 177 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,126 but Richard just texted me. We got our seventh pass. 178 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,722 - Fuck. - Fuckin' Gavin Belson. 179 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,325 All the VCs turned on us. 180 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,206 Apparently, Erlich used some pretty assertive vaginal metaphors last round, 181 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,368 so it's been a bit of an uphill climb. 182 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,841 I think we're going have to crunch our burn-rate again. 183 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,288 Even with the $50,000 from TechCrunch, we're not going to last very long. 184 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,521 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 185 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,570 Richard said we were going to split that money, right? 186 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,687 $10,000 each? 187 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,366 I don't think we can afford to do that anymore. 188 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,521 Fuck! 189 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,447 I just donated $5,000 to my cousin Wajeed's Kickstarter campaign. 190 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,404 He's trying to get an app called Bro off the ground. 191 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,481 Bro? 192 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,682 It's a messaging app that let's you send the word "bro" 193 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,091 to everyone else who has the app. 194 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,003 So it's exactly like the Yo app. 195 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,321 Yes, but less original. 196 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,010 Why don't you just cancel your credit card? 197 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,401 That way Kickstarter can't collect your pledge. 198 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,847 Well, I would love to, but he looks up to me. 199 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,685 I was always like the cool cousin of the family, you know what I mean? 200 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,250 Wait. 201 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,490 Did you just say you were "the cool cousin"? 202 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,761 Yeah. 203 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,486 Please explain. 204 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:11,211 Well, when we were kids, I was the one getting good grades, 205 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,851 I was the one who was planning for my future, 206 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,730 I would bring gifts for my teachers 'cause they worked so hard. 207 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,361 You know, cool stuff. He was always getting in trouble, 208 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,649 he got caught smoking opium in the tool shed, 209 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,643 he crashed my uncle's motorbike. 210 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,404 And you think you're the cool one? 211 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,045 Yeah, it's different in Pakistan. 212 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,407 I've never been, but I know it isn't. 213 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,087 Oh, here it is. Bro 2 Bro is a 1-bit communication messenger, 214 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,964 "The fastest way to speak your mind." 215 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,247 As long as what's on your mind is the word "bro." 216 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,961 Well, he's still shy of his goal. 217 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,566 If he doesn't get there, none of the pledges get collected. 218 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,609 I feel horrible for what I'm about to say, 219 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,170 but I really hope he fails. 220 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,688 That is the first cool thing you've ever said. 221 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,081 You know what? This may not be an issue. 222 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,442 Richard and Erlich are heading into their last stop. 223 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,285 I trust Erlich can be diplomatic and pull it off. 224 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,043 A few days ago, I came in here and I did some things 225 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,010 and said some things that I should not have. 226 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,971 Also, we would like to open about the fact that Pied Piper 227 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,850 is involved in a complicated legal matter 228 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,605 that could affect our potential value. 229 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,602 And that being said, we are open 230 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,763 to renegotiating the funding terms to reflect that. 231 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,367 But most of all, I want to thank you. 232 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,251 Thank you 233 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,051 for allowing me to come in here today 234 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,488 and be vulnerable and to apologize. 235 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,609 Mr. Bachman, I didn't have you come all the way back here today 236 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,529 just to apologize to me. 237 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,484 Please, it's Erlich. And you didn't? 238 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,129 Of course not. I asked you back 239 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,171 because three days ago I sat right here, 240 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,369 and I watched you put your testes on this reclaimed 241 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,727 Brazilian Koa wood table, 242 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,329 and now you're going to sit there 243 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,846 and you're going watch me do the same goddamn thing to you. 244 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,402 - What? What? - My turn. 245 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,767 - No. But it's your table! - Yes, it is my table. 246 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,683 - Oh, man. Please don't do that. - Good God! 247 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,004 I think you should cancel your Kickstarter campaign. 248 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,004 - Whoa... What? - Listen, I love your idea. 249 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,481 - You know I do, right, bro? - Bro? 250 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,370 Bro? Like, it lets you send the word "bro" to anyone else that has the app. 251 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,250 I know what it is. You've explained it to me so many times. 252 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,482 I love it, but you know, I'm not saying... 253 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,206 Other people are, like, saying horrible stuff. 254 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,409 I'm supporting you, and they're saying, like, 255 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,086 "Oh, he couldn't get funding, so he had to go to Kickstarter 256 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,925 "like some charity case collecting money from strangers, 257 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,765 "like a street beggar who sits on the ground, 258 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,286 - "eats trash." - Really? 259 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,885 Yeah. 260 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,768 Look, just between us, 261 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,207 I was thinking about canceling, anyways, 262 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,601 because we're way, way under our goal. 263 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,604 Really? Really? 264 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,444 Like, embarrassingly low. 265 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,881 You know what? 266 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,961 - That sucks. - It does really suck. 267 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,963 But I think it's the right thing to do. 268 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,691 - Well, you're right. - 'Cause you don't want bad word of mouth 269 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,240 to kill such a great idea. 270 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,891 Yeah, like with what happened to your app. Yeah. 271 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,123 What do you mean, what happened to my app? 272 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,602 Everybody started talking about how bad it was, and then you ended up giving up. 273 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,331 I didn't give up. I left to go work on Pied Piper. 274 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,165 So you're saying, then, that if Pied Piper didn't happen, 275 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,765 you would still be working on your app? 276 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,446 Even though all those people just shit, like, all over... 277 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,521 Like all of them. 278 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,324 Who are these people? Who is shitting on it? 279 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:42,081 Our cousins, Tab, Farooq, Imran and those people. 280 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,845 This girl I'm fucking. 281 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,366 What have those people ever accomplished? Nothing! 282 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,922 The girl I'm fucking was in the Olympics. 283 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,731 People are idiots! Standing on the sidelines criticizing 284 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,962 everyone who's actually trying to do things. 285 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,241 You really think so? 286 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,371 Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Fuck those people! 287 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,885 You know what? You're right, you're right. 288 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,042 That's what makes you so cool, 289 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,724 that you have the fucking backbone to say that. 290 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,404 - Fuck those people. - Yeah, fuck 'em all. 291 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,766 - Fuck those people. - Fuck them. 292 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,366 I'm not going to cancel my Kickstarter Campaign, fuck 'em. 293 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,363 Wait, hold on one second. 294 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,283 Yeah, no, you know what? You're right. Fuck them. 295 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,603 I'm not going to cancel it, and I'm going to throw 296 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,125 a huge Kickstarter party. 297 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,690 I'm gonna invite everyone that I know, 298 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,206 and we're going to put Bro over the top. 299 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,363 Everybody, this guy is the coolest cousin! 300 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,681 Thank you for the $5,000, eh? 301 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,410 Whoo! 302 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,167 At least I have the common decency to shave mine. 303 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,765 Before you pull them out in public? 304 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,922 So you're complaining about the guy's sense of decorum? 305 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,241 Absolutely. We live in a society. 306 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,964 I can't believe we are this fucked. 307 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,961 Guys, something interesting just happened. 308 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,725 So, I downloaded Wajeed's Bro app out of curiosity 309 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,450 and found it very sticky. 310 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,682 I've never felt like I was anyone's bro before. 311 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,491 The only people who have used that term with me were assailants, 312 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,803 but I started bro-ing people and getting bro'ed back. 313 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,320 This is my nightmare. 314 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,926 And all of a sudden, I'm bros with all kinds of people, 315 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,162 including a guy from Branscomb Ventures. 316 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,164 Branscomb? That's a solid shop. 317 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,851 Yes. So we bro'ed about this and that, 318 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,605 and then when he heard I worked at Pied Piper, 319 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,048 he got excited, he triple liked my bro, and he asked about meeting us. 320 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,811 Okay, but does he know about the lawsuit? 321 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,600 Yeah, I told him. I mean, you know what they say, 322 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,762 - "Bros disclose." - No one says that. 323 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,605 Wait, doesn't Branscomb already have its own compression play? 324 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,125 Yeah, but not a good one, apparently. 325 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,323 I mean, they want to sit down with all of us, engineers included. 326 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,206 That only happens in a second or third meeting. 327 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,203 Technical due diligence. That's good. 328 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,284 Okay, Jared, what did you tell him? 329 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,091 Um, I was waiting a bit to bro him back, 330 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,571 so that I don't seem over-eager. 331 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,880 Bro him back! Bro him back. 332 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,206 Bro him. 333 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,004 We're not dead yet, guys. 334 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,447 Well, get some sleep, my bros. 335 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,887 I'll set the meeting, and, um, 336 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,930 then I'll go find some hoes to prioritize behind you. 337 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,882 Are you trying to say, "Bros before hoes"? 338 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,527 It's sexist, but it's about friendship. 339 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,325 Middle-out is based on a completely new probabilistic model. 340 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,289 It finds long range structures that's hidden 341 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,250 even to domain-optimized algorithms. 342 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,091 I'm sorry, is this too in the weeds? 343 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,288 Not at all. Take us into the weeds. 344 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,807 Wouldn't you rather hear our go-to-market strategy? 345 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,769 You mentioned something earlier about 346 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,481 stacking Middle-out on top of another compression algorithm. 347 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:28,846 How does that even work? 348 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,129 I mean, you can't compress something that's already compressed to entropy. 349 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,167 Right? 350 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,810 WOW. Uh... 351 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,486 I don't really get too many of those questions in meetings like these. 352 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,809 But it's actually easier if I show you. 353 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,848 - May I? - Absolutely. 354 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,730 Okay, great. Here I go. 355 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,849 Stacking Middle-out is actually very real. 356 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,526 - Let's take... - Do you have to pee, Jared? 357 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,728 Because I have to pee. 358 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,928 I would love to pee. 359 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,164 There. When you stack Middle-out... 360 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,967 - They're brain-raping us, right? - They definitely are. 361 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,122 Shit. All right, wait here. 362 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,089 What are you doing? 363 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,208 I told you I didn't have to go pee. What is happening? 364 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,487 Those guys are never going to fund us. We need to leave now. 365 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,568 What are you talking about? This is going great. 366 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,211 I mean, VCs are never interested in how Middle-out actually works. 367 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,203 Of course they're interested, because they want to steal it. 368 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,805 This is a classic brain-rape. 369 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,008 - What? - We did it at Hooli all the time. 370 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,050 We'd schedule meetings with companies so they'd explain their technology, 371 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,043 then we'd use their ideas in our products. 372 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,242 - Like what happened to Yelp. - Yes. 373 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,322 It's like when somebody says they want to go birding with you, 374 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,368 but really they just want to get you alone in the woods, 375 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,680 so they can take your binoculars. 376 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,321 Look, those guys aren't doing technical due diligence. 377 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,131 They're not even consultants. They're a compression company. 378 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,328 One of them has braces, for fuck's sake. 379 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,209 - Braces! - Shit. 380 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,770 Dinesh and Gilfoyle, they're still in there. 381 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,969 Middle-out doesn't restrict itself to H-264's two-dimensional grid 382 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,849 or time-bound patterns at all. 383 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,127 This is great. Great. 384 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,041 You know, they usually don't bring us to these things and I think I know why. 385 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,248 It's 'cause we steal the show. 386 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,606 You guys are really helpful. 387 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,967 All right, shut it down. Meeting over. We're out of here. 388 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,122 No more pictures, fucking assholes. 389 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,885 - I could email you... - Why is this not coming off? 390 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,891 No, you're not emailing anybody. 391 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:23,771 Thank you, Jared. 392 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,160 We were bros. 393 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,805 We were bros. 394 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,246 Yo, yo, yo, just want to thank everyone 395 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,368 for coming out to this Kickstarter party for Bro, 396 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,886 the app that proves that you can change the world 397 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,530 in just one word! 398 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,806 Actually, it's just half a word. 399 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,008 I know. It's so efficient. 400 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,690 Now as you can see, we're just $5,000 away from our goal. 401 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,524 But we got a whole hour left, people. 402 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,568 So let's get those "bronations" going. 403 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,290 Donations are funny, right? 404 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,801 I mean, why would anybody donate to something like Bro 405 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,565 and not a homeless shelter or schools? 406 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,041 Cancer? That's still out there. 407 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,325 Any of us could have it. 408 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,885 Food for thought... 409 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,084 Which a lot of people also don't have. 410 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,440 Have a great party, guys- 411 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,210 You could donate if you want, 412 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,363 but he's throwing away half the world's market. 413 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,568 You know what "bro" means in Mandarin? 414 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,369 It means "asshole." 415 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,729 You know what "bro" means in Portuguese? "Rapist." 416 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,651 In Latvian, it roughly translates to 417 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,087 "one who beheads the messiah." 418 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,882 In Finnish, "bro" means "a baby's erection." 419 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,008 In Urdu, "bro" is actually short for "brokhtaver," 420 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,289 which means "a dildo for a man." 421 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,771 A man's dildo. 422 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:41,965 "Fecal eclipse." 423 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,724 it loses something in translation. 424 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,689 We don't have a word for it. They do. 425 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,171 It's "bro." 426 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,488 You know what "bro" means in Navajo? 427 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,609 A really joyful person with mental disabilities. 428 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,523 All right, less than a minute to go, people. 429 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,444 And we're just two grand away. Come on, you can do it, come on. 430 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,966 That's that I'm talking about! 431 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,487 $500 from Gilfoyle_Luci4. 432 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,769 Where you at, bro? Wherever you're at, you're my bro. 433 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,884 Looks like I got here just in time, bro. 434 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,281 What the fuck did you do that for? Do you know how this works? 435 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,084 If you put him over the edge, we both owe him money? 436 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,891 But you have to pay a lot more. 437 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,406 - 30 seconds left! - I'm effectively leveraging your misery. 438 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,447 Somebody! Anybody! 439 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,965 I'm like the Warren Buffett of fucking with you. 440 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,725 - $1,100! Come on, bros. - You're a dick. 441 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,247 Only $1,100 left. I might be good for that. 442 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,485 - Gilfoyle, please. - I'll tell you what. 443 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,928 You pay me $500, and I won't pledge anymore. 444 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,287 For 500 bucks, you save $5,000. 445 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,845 I'm not giving you a dime. 446 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,570 - Nine, eight, seven... - Okay, I'm pledging. 447 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,763 No. Stop. $500. It costs $500. Let me... Stop it. $500. 448 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,080 - Okay. - Three, two... 449 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,527 it doesn't matter. It's not like he's going to make his... 450 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,321 What the fuck? 451 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,920 Yes, yes, yes! We did it! Who was it? 452 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,650 That's not how that was supposed to go. 453 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,922 Mika! Mika, I love you, Mika! 454 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,567 Who is that tall Asian woman? 455 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,927 Some woman that Wajeed is fucking. 456 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,450 She was in the Olympics. 457 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,521 Ah... 458 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,441 He really is the cool cousin. 459 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,402 Even with the 50 grand we got at TechCrunch, 460 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,290 we've only got a few weeks left to runway before we crash and burn. 461 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,089 Richard, if it makes you feel any better, 462 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,208 I put that Branscomb guy in his place. 463 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,645 I dropped him from Bro, 464 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,530 but not before I sent one final angry "bro." 465 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,845 What do you mean? You can make them angry? You can make "bros" angry? 466 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,521 Well, he made this bro angry. 467 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,047 But technically, no, the "bro" I sent was identical 468 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,121 to the previous "bros" I sent, 469 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,646 but I think he'll infer the anger from context. 470 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,404 This is Ron on the phone. I gotta take it. 471 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,766 Yeah, okay. 472 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:48,960 - Hello, Ron. - Hey, Richie. 473 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,883 I gotta bounce on over to my mind-body thing, 474 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,962 but I just wanted to give you the good news. 475 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,448 I got you a top-shelf litigator. 476 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,166 Yeah, uh, we should probably discuss that. 477 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,891 You're gonna sweat me about the cost, right? Don't. 478 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,248 I hammered them on their fee. They're going to bring it way down. 479 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,322 Okay, so how much? 480 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:13,448 This whole thing is going to cost you two, 2.5 million tops. 481 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,564 - What? - I know, right. It's like it's free. 482 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,847 I told you, I pay for myself. 483 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,685 So I'm going to need you to head on down to their offices tomorrow 484 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,162 at 10:00 a.m. You slap an 80K retainer on them, 485 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,169 and we are good to go. 486 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,004 Oh, shit. 487 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,522 Okay, I actually have another call, so... 488 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:33,931 I'll get out of your pubes. 489 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,044 I'm emailing you intros to the guys you're meeting tomorrow. 490 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,281 Later. 491 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:41,761 Hello? 492 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,281 Oh. Uh, hello. 493 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,847 Yes. 494 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,001 Uh-huh. 495 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,447 Sure, just me? 496 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,450 Okay, what time? 497 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,121 Hello. 498 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,682 Richard. Thanks for coming. 499 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:12,801 What are we doing, Richard? 500 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,605 Lawsuits and lawyers? 501 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,606 You out there getting rejected by every VC in town? 502 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,091 Neither of us want this, 503 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,970 but maybe together we can find a way out. 504 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,403 Yeah, easy. Drop the lawsuit. 505 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,484 - You know I can't do that. - I didn't steal Pied Piper from you, 506 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,561 and you know it. 507 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,081 Well, that's up to the courts to decide. 508 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,650 And until they do, you're frozen. 509 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,446 Meanwhile, my best engineers are working around the clock 510 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,801 to get me a Middle-out algorithm that surpasses yours. 511 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,611 And in January when we have it and we come to market, 512 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,523 you won’t just be frozen, you'll be dead. 513 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,968 You played your best hand, Richard, and you lost. 514 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,527 It's just business. So... 515 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,651 Wouldn't you rather get something out of Pied Piper while you still can? 516 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,562 - Let me acquire you. - What? No way. Are you kidding me? 517 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,130 We should have just done this the first time. 518 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,771 I know you thought about it. It's the perfect fit. 519 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,161 You get my infrastructure, I get your speed, 520 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,130 and I get it today rather than in a month or two. 521 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,361 What's the downside? 522 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,169 The downside is that everything I'm building 523 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,891 becomes the property of your giant soulless corporation. 524 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,522 And what exactly do you think you're building? 525 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,644 You're out there trying to get funding so you can hire people, 526 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,961 scale up, roll out a product, IPO, 527 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,169 and eventually become a publicly-traded what? 528 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,206 Corporation. 529 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,446 We would be different. 530 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,683 I see. I suppose once Pied Piper is a billion-dollar company, 531 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,889 you'll seek out your competitors and help them. 532 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,925 Please. Let's face it. 533 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:39,130 What is Hooli if not the best possible future version of Pied Piper? 534 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,123 You think you're building something different? No. 535 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,170 You're building something that's exactly the same as what I've already built, 536 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,642 except with you instead of me. But that's not possible now, Richard. 537 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,766 But you know what is? We could build something together, you and me. 538 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,003 Something great. Something the world needs now. 539 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:56,930 Look, I don't have to do this. 540 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,163 I'm just trying to do the right thing here. 541 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,250 So, what do you say? 542 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,530 You want to know what I say? 543 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,964 Okay, here's what I say.