1 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,003 Fucking sketchy neighborhood, man. 2 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,045 You see that guy? That's Chuy Ramirez. 3 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,088 And he's gonna do our new logo. 4 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,881 That's the artist you were talking about? You said he had paintings in galleries. 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,646 His works hang in the gallery of the streets. 6 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,801 I'll be back in a flash. 7 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,530 Whoa, no. What? 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,329 Okay. 9 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,160 Man, we're just going to sit here like this? 10 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,887 Oh, shit. Look at this guy. 11 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,726 He's a scary individual. 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,404 Whoa. Um... 13 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,642 Hey, buddy. Do you have any drugs? 14 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,563 Please, let it up. Let it up. 15 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,085 If you don't let it go, I can't roll it up. 16 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,322 Just... Please, just... You fucking prick! 17 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,727 Ow! 18 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,080 I'm gonna beat you in your face! 19 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,890 Chuy Ramirez? 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,088 Erlich Bachman. We spoke on the phone. 21 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,491 - What's up, man? - Pleasure to meet you. 22 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,561 - All right. - Ah... 23 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,802 This is great. Look at this. 24 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,163 This is what we need, you know what I mean? Something raw. 25 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,527 We already have kind of a shitty name, Pied Piper, 26 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,444 but the last thing we want is two lowercase P's in a square 27 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,921 like those motherfuckers across the freeway would make. 28 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,081 This is what we want. 29 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,083 So you gonna give me stock options or what? 30 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,004 - What? - Yeah. You know Dave Choe? 31 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,889 He did all the murals over at Facebook. 32 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,566 He got a stock option deal, ended up making, like, $100 million. 33 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,005 I want a deal like that. 34 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,890 You know, I don't really speak all that Wall Street bullshit. 35 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,086 You know what I'm saying? 36 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,323 We're just, like, five guys hanging out in a house, trying to make cool shit. 37 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,129 Well, you told me you own 10% of it. 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,328 So you must know something about it, right? 39 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,129 You could just give me some of your points. 40 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,531 Hey, I'm not an accountant, you know? 41 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,968 I don't even know what that means, a lot of those words. 42 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,008 You fucking prick! 43 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,241 Oh, you fucker. 44 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,926 Let me in. Please, please. I'll break this. I don't care. I don't care. 45 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,604 - I'll break this... - I can't hear you. 46 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:07,840 Oh, God. 47 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,723 I can't hear you. 48 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,244 Yeah, but you don't want stock in our company. 49 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,522 If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have taken the stock. 50 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,570 I would've taken cash only. I'm telling you... 51 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,325 - Who's that dude? - Uh, nobody. He's a coder. 52 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,209 You got a Latino working for you? 53 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,807 That's cool, yo. Not a lot of Latinos working in tech. 54 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,920 Yeah. Yeah, he's Latino. 55 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,651 Yeah. And he's one of the best coders we have. 56 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,609 He kind of adds a Latin flair to the company. 57 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,682 I told you, we do things differently. 58 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,401 Yeah. You know what? 59 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,960 I could do a cash deal for a Latino company. 60 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,166 I think we should get out of here, though, 61 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,005 because I just painted over some dude's shit and people get shot behind that. 62 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,969 So I'll catch you on the flip. Peace! 63 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,008 Uh, okay. Peace, Chuy. 64 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,006 Oh, God. This is very real. 65 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,367 Hey, Dinesh! Get in the fucking car. 66 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,046 - There may be a drive-by about to happen. - What? 67 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,965 You promised this guy $10,000 without any approval? 68 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,042 - Are you high? - A little bit, yeah. 69 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,326 But that's irrelevant. 70 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,607 A cool company needs a cool logo. 71 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,364 You think those guys over at Nucleus 72 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,489 are hiring a convicted felon to paint a mural on their garage? 73 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,369 For $10,000? No. 74 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,847 Look, I took a run at a burn down chart. 75 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,801 Ugh. Jesus fucking Christ. 76 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,606 It's not pretty. 77 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,968 The way things are going, we're not gonna finish for five months. 78 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,766 And even with everyone on reduced salaries, we'll exhaust all our funding in four. 79 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,241 And that's without wasting $10,000 on artwork. 80 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,004 "Wasting"? I got a great deal. 81 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,447 You know, he wanted stock options until he saw Dinesh? 82 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,488 Hold on, what? 83 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,530 Don't be offended, but for some weird reason, 84 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,127 Chuy took a look at you and thought you were a Mexican. 85 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,810 Why would I be offended by that? 86 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:11,961 What? 87 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,486 Why would I be offended by him thinking I'm Mexican? 88 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,846 He's Mexican, right? 89 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,730 Yeah, he is, but you're not. You're Pakistani. 90 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,131 So? 91 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:25,843 Actually, the very fact that you think this would be offensive to me is offensive. 92 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,490 You're the one being racist. 93 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,131 No. I'm not the one who called you a Mexican. 94 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,602 Called me a Mexican? You're doing it again. 95 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,889 I'm bending over backwards to not be racist right now. 96 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,641 All right. Well, what did he say when you told him I wasn't Mexican? 97 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,444 I didn't. 98 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,601 And why not? 99 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,047 Because I wanted him to paint our garage for cheap. 100 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,450 I genuinely don't know how to respond to that. 101 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,010 You know, I'm not gonna take the bait here. 102 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,650 I am not a racist, all right? 103 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:57,089 I watch a lot of black porn. I mean, a lot. 104 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,810 One question. 105 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:04,330 In this porn, is the man black, or the woman black, or are they both? 106 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,165 Is one of those racist, and the others aren't? 107 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,368 I'll hack his browser history. We'll get to the bottom of this. 108 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,487 Yep. 109 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,562 Hold on. That's unnecessary. 110 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,651 Hold on. 111 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,720 Richard? 112 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,762 Can you explain this to me? 113 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,040 Hmm? 114 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,080 What? 115 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,361 I just got a text from my friend at TechCrunch. 116 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,011 Pied Piper just got into this year's Startup Battlefield? 117 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,844 Oh, really? Oh, that's so cool. 118 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,288 No. No, it isn't. We're already seeded, Richard. 119 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,011 Why would we enter a start-up competition at a tech conference? 120 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,641 I sent in the application a few months ago and I totally forgot about it. 121 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,165 Relax, I will withdraw. 122 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,765 Relax? 123 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,410 This house is chaos. 124 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,484 I gave up a great job and stock options at Hooli to come here 125 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,642 because I thought Pied Piper could be viable, 126 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,371 but it never will be unless we make some changes. 127 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,569 We need to operate like a business or we're not going to... 128 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,046 Richard? 129 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,081 Richard? 130 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,691 Thanks for coming in, Nelson. 131 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,445 Mr. Belson is very excited to meet with you. 132 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,808 I thought he was in Jackson Hole this week. 133 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,360 Yes, he is. We're going to call him up on the TeleHuman. 134 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:11,646 It's amazing. 135 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,361 It's holographic 3D teleconferencing technology that we've acquired. 136 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,126 It's going to feel as if Gavin is right here in the room with you. 137 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,089 Oh, it's him! 138 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,400 It's him! 139 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,406 Hello, Nelson. Thanks for meeting with me. 140 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,722 Whoa. Hi. That's cool. 141 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,802 Am I a hologram over there, too? 142 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,531 What? No, of course not. 143 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,524 Question. Do you still talk to Richard Hendricks? 144 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,687 Uh... 145 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,604 Yeah. I mean, not about Nucleus or anything... 146 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,331 Why would he enter Pied Piper in TechCrunch Disrupt? 147 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,041 I know a lot of big players have come out of it, Dropbox, Yammer, what have you. 148 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,088 But Peter Gregory's already funding him. 149 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,925 Why would he let Richard do this? It makes no sense. 150 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,731 I don't know. I didn't even know Richard got in. 151 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,768 Is Peter Gregory toying with me? 152 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,763 Is he trying to make Richard seem folksy? 153 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,002 Like some aw-shucks boy-genius 154 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,651 entering an even/man's competition? 155 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,324 Mr. Belson? 156 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,925 - Can you hear me? - Hello? 157 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,287 - Can you hear me? - Yeah, it's just... It's sort of fading. 158 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,850 - Hello? - Hello. 159 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,048 Hello? 160 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,891 - I'm hearing you. It's just the image is... - Nelson, shut up for a second-. 161 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,611 If you can hear me, make a gesture. 162 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,081 Is that... Do you... I hear you. Is this... 163 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,730 I have no idea what you're saying, Nelson. 164 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,007 Nelson. Nelson. Can you help me, please? 165 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,441 Okay, I think what happened was when you set it up, you forgot to... 166 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,364 I didn't set it up. I paid one of you people to set it up. 167 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,211 Just fix it. 168 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,004 Uh... Okay. 169 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,411 Here's the thing, it's not working. 170 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:45,801 Um... 171 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,882 The audio's still working. You could just use that. 172 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,327 "The audio is working"? Excuse me? 173 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,643 I paid 20 million fucking dollars to acquire this company. 174 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,449 Fuck you, "the audio is working"! 175 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,921 Audio worked 100 fucking years ago! 176 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,401 You fucking piece of shit... 177 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,009 - it appears we've lost him. - Yeah. 178 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,481 - Why don't we just try Hooli-Chat instead? - Yeah. 179 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,811 Ah, that's better. Sorry. 180 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,087 The TeleHuman is a great piece of technology. 181 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,209 Unfortunately, the broadband isn't that great out here in rural Wyoming. 182 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,921 - That presents a great business opportunity... 183 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,411 Nelson, make a gesture... hear me. 184 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,609 Oh, for fuck's sake. 185 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,845 Uh... l think you forgot to update your software. 186 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,083 God damn it. 187 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,851 Oh. 188 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:48,927 Hello? 189 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,081 Oh, hi, Gavin. 190 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,410 What's that? I'm sorry, you're kind of breaking up there. 191 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,761 Hello? Hello? 192 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,889 Okay, let's start the meeting. 193 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,008 I think we need to define our corporate culture. 194 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,450 Our whole corporate culture is that we don't have a corporate culture. 195 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,363 That is totally ridiculous, Gilfoyle. 196 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,171 The main reason dogs are perceived to have a more keen sense of smell 197 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,844 is because their noses are closer to the ground. 198 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,050 Therefore, with a little practice, I could easily have as keen a sense of smell as a dog's. 199 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,049 Guys? I guess you didn't see the sign. 200 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,561 We're actually having a meeting here. 201 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:22,926 Congratulations. 202 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,122 It's sort of for management only. 203 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,130 Are you fucking serious right now? Are you really kicking us out? 204 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,044 Well, I thought, maybe you guys could just take your food into the living room. 205 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,640 So you want to have a meeting in the room where all the food is, 206 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,921 while we eat our food in the room where all the computers are? 207 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,083 Guys, just five minutes. Please? 208 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,646 Okay, you see? This is a case in point. 209 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,566 This is a company, and yet we have no boundaries and no protocol. 210 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,486 We need to establish a clear corporate culture or we're not gonna make it. 211 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,483 Take Dinesh and Gilfoyle. 212 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,484 They are wasting an enormous amount of time arguing. 213 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,161 What if we were to separate them, right? 214 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,124 Divide their existing work space into two areas. 215 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,089 We could put in some kind of portable barrier... 216 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,969 He's talking about cubicles! 217 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,804 We are not doing cubicles. No way! 218 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,760 No, no, no, no. Don't think of it as a cubicle. 219 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,804 Just think of it as a, uh, neutral-colored enclosure, 220 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,281 about yay high, around your workspace. 221 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,124 Okay, fine. But do you know who uses cubicles? 222 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,009 Every single Fortune 500 company. 223 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,411 Why? Because they work. 224 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,847 He's trying to turn us into corporate rock, Richard. 225 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,844 - No. - We are punk rock. 226 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,810 Actually, you know, I think a better analogy would be jazz. 227 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,247 Like we riff and improvise around a central theme 228 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,731 to create one cohesive piece of music. 229 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,485 No, no. They teach fucking jazz at Juilliard. 230 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,483 We're not jazz. We're fucking punk rock. 231 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,164 You see? You see? 232 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,847 You guys are arguing over what metaphor to use to agree with each other. 233 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,526 This is the inefficiency I'm trying to eliminate. 234 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:03,731 My suggestions could actually help you beat me in this argument. 235 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,245 Do you see the irony there? 236 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,126 I can't argue with this. 237 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,281 Yo, Erlich! 238 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,691 Uh, Chuy's here. 239 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,445 No. And this is the craziest one of all. 240 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,887 I mean, we're really about to spend $10,000 241 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,043 on a logo we could generate in-house for free? 242 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,326 It's madness. 243 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,006 You want a logo? Here. 244 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,764 Just... 245 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,521 There. I just saved this company $10,000. 246 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,365 Are you fucking serious? Lowercase letters? 247 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,523 Twitter, lowercase Google, lowercase 248 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,529 Facebook, lowercase 249 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,644 Every fucking company in the Valley has lowercase letters. 250 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,563 Why? Because it's safe. 251 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,769 But we aren't going to do that. 252 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,808 We're gonna go with Chuy. 253 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,644 Unless any of you gringos wants to go out there 254 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,643 and tell a guy with three assault convictions 255 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,087 that we're not gonna give him the money we promised him. 256 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,402 Hmm? That's what I thought. 257 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,482 I mean... God. 258 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,727 Are you still enjoying your asparagus, sir? 259 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,326 I was never enjoying it. 260 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,483 I only eat it for the nutrients. 261 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,925 You may take it. 262 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,560 Oh, shit. 263 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,249 Peter, I don't want to upset you, 264 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,368 but Gavin Belson just walked in. 265 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,604 Does he see us? 266 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,921 I don't know. He must know that you're here. 267 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,210 If I scurry to the restroom, do you imagine he would... 268 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,567 Peter! 269 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,563 I didn't know you came here. 270 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,640 Gavin. 271 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,370 Hello. 272 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,009 Nice to see you. 273 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,525 And you as well. 274 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,201 How are you? 275 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,763 Well. 276 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,569 - And you? - Not bad. 277 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,371 I just got back from Jackson Hole. 278 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,527 Have you been? 279 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,527 I have not. 280 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,443 But I hear good things. 281 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,324 You look well. 282 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,606 Are you exercising? 283 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,887 I have begun to do Pilates. 284 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,761 I hear that's good. 285 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,211 I like it. 286 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,406 Yes. 287 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,641 Well, I didn't mean to interrupt. 288 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,010 Nice to see you, Peter. 289 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,411 - Goodbye now. - Okay. 290 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,969 You know, I almost forgot. 291 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:59,524 I saw that Pied Piper is in the Startup Battlefield at TechCrunch Disrupt. 292 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:04,162 It inspired me to call TechCrunch and offer to be their keynote speaker. 293 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,089 They were quite accommodating. 294 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:11,200 Especially when I said that I'd make the event the grand unveiling of Nucleus. 295 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,250 So, I will see you all at the conference. 296 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,648 This is displeasing. 297 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,247 I have never seen him so incensed. 298 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,084 What the hell were you thinking, Richard? 299 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,130 How could you not tell us that you entered TechCrunch Disrupt? 300 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,123 I applied before I even met you guys. 301 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,362 I wasn't gonna say anything because I was gonna withdraw. 302 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,125 - No, you're not. - I'm not? Why not? 303 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,444 Because of you, Gavin Belson is debuting Nucleus at TCD. 304 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,649 If you pull out, it looks like Peter is running away from Gavin. 305 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,442 So like it or not, you are presenting a live demo in front of the world in eight weeks. 306 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,170 A live demo of what? 307 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,131 I entered TCD with an early build of Pied Piper when it was still just a music app. 308 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,965 No. Sorry. Executive decision. We are not doing TechCrunch. 309 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,442 Okay. So let me just tell you what's gonna happen. 310 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,286 Peter will pull all of his support and pass on any further funding, 311 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,091 which, as you know, is the most flaming signaling risk on Earth. 312 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:15,121 You'll burn through the rest of your runway, no one will step in, then you'll go bust. 313 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,770 I don't get it. 314 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,161 Doesn't Peter Gregory want what's best for the company? 315 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,211 Look. I'm going to be straight with you. 316 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,448 Peter Gregory doesn't care. 317 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,285 - About? - You. 318 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,561 Wait. Just him or both of us? 319 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,120 Any of you. Pied Piper. 320 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,771 Okay... 321 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,286 Uh, well, then why did he back us? 322 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,967 Does he just want to piss off Gavin Belson? He spent $200,000 just... 323 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,088 Yeah, that's nothing. 324 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,960 Peter would spend millions just to mildly annoy Gavin. 325 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,530 These are billionaires, Richard. 326 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:59,042 Humiliating each other is worth more to them than we'll make in a lifetime. 327 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,806 I see. 328 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,884 And you conveniently forgot to mention any of this 329 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,567 when you were convincing me to turn down $10 million? 330 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,087 And now I'm in the middle of some pissing contest between two billionaires. 331 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,170 In fairness, 332 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,961 Gavin only offered you the $10 million because we started pursuing you... 333 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,560 Yeah, but he offered it to me, Monica! He offered it to me. 334 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,529 $10 dollars and I didn't take it. 335 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,570 Because you came to me when I was puking and freaking out 336 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,484 and told me that Peter Gregory believed in me, 337 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,642 when in reality, he didn't even give a flying fuck! 338 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,046 - Richard... - Oh, my God. 339 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,011 I didn't turn down $10 million because of Peter Gregory, Monica! 340 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,082 I turned it down because of you! 341 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,164 However angry he is, I am one-tenth as angry. 342 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,084 Because one of the $10 million would've been mine. 343 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,731 - Because I own 10%. - I know. 344 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,450 - Of Pied Piper. - I know! 345 00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,685 It's push. 346 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,560 We didn't think we were going to get this thing done when we had five months to do it. 347 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,601 Now we have two? 348 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,324 Granted, it's not ideal, but we're just gonna have to... 349 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,686 What the good fuck? 350 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,445 What is happening? Is that Dinesh? 351 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,523 Is that the Statue of Liberty? 352 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,489 And it's... 353 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,130 There's penetration. 354 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,683 Oh! Hey, neighbor. 355 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,521 - Ashley's getting big! - Aw. 356 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,329 She looks... 357 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,482 - What do we do? - I don't know. Paint over it. 358 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,440 No, no, no. You can't paint over it. It's, like, the code of the streets. 359 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,164 - People get shot behind that. - Oh, good. 360 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,890 Hey. So what do guys think, man? 361 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,246 Uh... 362 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,243 I think Erlich had a few thoughts. 363 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,766 So, I gotta... 364 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,641 I'll let you... 365 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,605 Uh... 366 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,924 Here's the headline. 367 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,129 There's a lot right with it. A lot of good stuff in there. 368 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,765 But I just... Do you think the piece is working? 369 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,926 I mean, maybe it's a bit too graphic for the space? 370 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,365 No way. Look at it. 371 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,125 It comments on the whole Latino struggle for justice in America. 372 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,921 But even without all the symbolism, it's just aesthetically pleasing. 373 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,001 Yeah. 374 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,406 All right, here's the real shit, Chuy. 375 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,289 Uh, you know, our prize coder, 376 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:29,842 he's actually not Latino. 377 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,401 What? 378 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,323 Yeah. Point of fact is, he's Pakistani. 379 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,606 Homes, you lied to me. 380 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,081 No, no, no. You thought he was Latino, 381 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,289 and I thought that I would be racist telling you you were wrong. 382 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,601 Come on, man. Why would you think that? 383 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,762 Thinking that, now that's racist. 384 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,481 God, I can't Win with that. 385 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:53,282 Look, Chuy, painting a guy named Dinesh Chugtai as an Aztec warrior 386 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,970 just doesn't make sense. 387 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,441 Yeah. You know what? 388 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,646 I think you might be right, boss. 389 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,200 Great. That's... Um... 390 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,328 So... Perfect. So change that 391 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,644 and then don't have him be fucking the literal symbol of freedom. 392 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,961 And then, whatever else you wanna do. 393 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,088 - All right. - All right. 394 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,166 If I had known, we could have withdrawn your application before any of this happened. 395 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,891 This is exactly why we need to have clearer lines of communication. 396 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,485 I know, Jared, I know. 397 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:27,441 Listen, I'd like to institute an organizational system called Scrum. 398 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,766 Scrum is designed to... 399 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,649 All right, you have one hour! Go! 400 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,922 No. 401 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,206 No. Just musty. 402 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,645 Uh, what's going on? 403 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,165 Gilfoyle bet me 100 bucks 404 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,124 that if I touched one object in this room, he could find it just by sniffing. 405 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,004 Okay. Not now, please. 406 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,368 No, it has to be now. I just masturbated to heighten my focus. 407 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,010 I have a 15-minute refractory period. 408 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,885 - Ow. - Uh, well, we have a lot of work to get done. 409 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,365 So maybe we should do that instead, please? 410 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,521 Dude, relax, okay? 411 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,364 We each ripped through a full module this morning. 412 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,761 We're just taking a little break. 413 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,081 DRM is now a thing of beauty. 414 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,130 - Wait. You did DRM? - Yeah. 415 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,326 I did DRM. 416 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,811 Why did you do DRM? 417 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,882 I said I would do DRM, you would do error handling. 418 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,123 Anything to do with "error" sounds like your whole vibe. 419 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,201 Yeah, I handle errors like you every day. 420 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,281 Scrum? 421 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,966 - Yes, Scrum. - Scrum. 422 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,848 So from "rules based filtering," we go to "workflow," 423 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,730 at which point that card is moved from the "icebox" 424 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,283 into the "in progress" column and it stays there until it is ready for "testing." 425 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,603 Okay. This increases visibility into our team's progress. 426 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,331 And that, gentlemen, is Scrum. 427 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,328 Welcome to the next eight weeks of our lives. 428 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,289 This just became a job. 429 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,007 Okay, so here are the cards 430 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,811 I'm adding under this epic for the ingestion engine. 431 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,530 And there are three stories here. 432 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,884 How long do we think each one will take? 433 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,122 I don't know. Who cares? 434 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,486 Four hours apiece? 435 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,284 Yeah. Maybe for you. 436 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,840 Each one of those tasks would take me three max. 437 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,604 Not "tasks," "stories." 438 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,842 I've got a story. Why don't you choke on my balls? 439 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,490 Well, how about this? 440 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,767 Why don't you each take one story, right? 441 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,201 Okay. 442 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,487 And we'll see who's right. 443 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,289 You see what he's doing, right? 444 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,443 He's trying to get us to compete so we work faster. 445 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:17,765 He thinks this wall of Psych 101, MBA, mind control bullshit 446 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,211 is going to motivate us. 447 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,204 Fine. Don't compete. Do them at whatever speed you like. 448 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,008 Uh, Jared. 449 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,170 Uh... 450 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,730 I know these guys. 451 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,690 I really don't think Scrum is gonna work for them. 452 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,762 Whoa... Just trust in the system. 453 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,969 So we're just going to work at a nice, leisurely pace, right? 454 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,610 Sure. 455 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,125 Wait, why are you typing faster? 456 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,486 I'm not. 457 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,643 Maybe my leisurely pace is just a little faster than yours. 458 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,248 Cocksucker. 459 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,723 Boo-yah. 460 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,281 Guys, have you been out front yet? 461 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,486 'Cause you might wanna come see this. 462 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,006 - I'm good. - Fuck off, we're working. 463 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:04,361 Wow. 464 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,522 This took a lot of work. 465 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,489 I mean, I'm already smiling. 466 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,767 Did he really have to paint me giving the thumbs-up? 467 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,205 It's gratuitous. 468 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,805 Really? That's the gratuitous part? 469 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,689 Well, and Dinesh's shaft... 470 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,171 - Oh, no. - Uh... 471 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,049 Oh shit. 472 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,924 Are one of you the homeowner? 473 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,365 Yeah, I am. 474 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,171 We've had a number of complaints about your artwork here. 475 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,851 Look, what you do inside the house is your own business... 476 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,968 - Oh, no. We don't do that. - Oh, no... 477 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,044 But that is you, is it not? The individual on the right? 478 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,761 Yeah. 479 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,205 You're gonna need to paint over this. 480 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,204 Oh, I don't think the artist would like that. He's Latino. 481 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,327 Hmm. 482 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,401 Was that racist? 483 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,281 Why are you asking me? 484 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,047 Oh... 485 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,248 I mean, I could've asked anybody, but you're... 486 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,288 it doesn't matter. I have a solution. 487 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:52,800 We put it up. 488 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,365 We don't put it down. Leave it up. 489 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,965 No, no, no. No, no, no! Close it! 490 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,769 No... 491 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,725 Look at this, left from the previous tenant. 492 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,800 Unbelievable. 493 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,844 I can't believe I didn't enter the garage until this point. 494 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,285 I mean, is that marijuanas? 495 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,522 We're gonna need to take those. 496 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:16,527 Or we leave them and wait to see if the criminal returns to the scene of the crime. 497 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,244 What do you say, please? 498 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,085 Okay. So I keep the mural, and I keep the 10 G's. 499 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,366 What do you get? 500 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,525 I just thought when I got a new garage door, maybe you could come and paint a new logo. 501 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,161 Something just as artistic, but maybe a little less challenging. 502 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,290 Hey! Don't look under there. Get away from there! 503 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:38,441 That's not me. 504 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:46,931 Um, just to be honest with you, I really, really, really need this. 505 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,970 So, I'm trying to be vulnerable in front of you. 506 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,849 I don't know. Is this a safe place? 507 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,928 Look, you can be vulnerable, ese, but this ain't a safe place. 508 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,560 A plumber got stabbed just last week right where you're standing. 509 00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,806 What? Jesus Christ! 510 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,201 What... Why would you stab a plumber? 511 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,846 All right. It was worth a try. Thanks anyway, Chuy. 512 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,290 Wait. 513 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,966 Just go ahead and leave the mural. I like looking at it. 514 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,044 And plus, I think I know what kind of logo you white boys might like. 515 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,043 Uh, that's amazing. Thank you, Chuy! 516 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,885 - Uh, yeah. Appreciate it. - All right, man. 517 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,530 - Yes, one of those, too. - All right. 518 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,525 Another one down. 519 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,365 Did you really? 520 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,488 You still working on that last one? 521 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,608 Take your time. There's no rush, Dinesh. 522 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,884 Feeling pretty happy about yourself? 523 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,244 I'm pretty happy with ourself. 524 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,449 Hello? 525 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,887 Hey, is Richard here? 526 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,281 I don't know. 527 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,806 - Hey. - Hey. 528 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,011 Come to check up on your investment? 529 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,765 Listen, you were right. 530 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,922 I played you a little. 531 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,445 Maybe a lot. 532 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,809 I got caught up in making the deal. 533 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:12,169 All right? And I would like to say that I was just doing my job, 534 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,521 but that's the excuse that the Nazis used, 535 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,841 so I'm not really sure how effective that one is. 536 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,285 Your point being? 537 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,682 I'm sorry. 538 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,649 But I'm also not sorry. 539 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,041 The reason I pushed Peter to seed you is, 540 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,566 I think you have an unbelievably good platform. 541 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,803 Way better than the rest of his other compression plays, 542 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,360 which I apologize for not telling you about. 543 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,963 Look, I know eight weeks isn't a lot of time to get this ready, 544 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,725 but I get the feeling you're the kind of guy that does better 545 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,325 when there's a fire lit under his ass. 546 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,642 It's a pretty big fire. 547 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,609 It is. 548 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,648 And by the way, 549 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,964 you're the only one of Peter's companies that I've invested 10% of my annual salary in. 550 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,286 So I really hope that you can do this. 551 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,081 Uh, well, I don't know how. 552 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,810 I guess we'll find out. 553 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,524 I saw the logo out front. 554 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,001 I didn't know it was, uh... 555 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,401 Cool. Guys, the new logo! 556 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,360 Can we please both go? 557 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,765 You go first. 558 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:28,561 I love it. 559 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,448 Well, it's lowercase, 560 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,124 but at least it isn't racist. 561 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,446 Is it? 562 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:38,726 It's Chuy Ramirez? 563 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,486 I'm impressed. He sold a mural today for a half-million bucks. 564 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,883 It wasn't on a garage door, was it? 565 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,966 You don't think it's too incendiary for the offices? 566 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,090 Gavin, you got where you are by challenging sensibilities. 567 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,525 You know me well. 568 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,129 It is pretty raunchy, though.