1
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,367
Holy shit.

2
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,121
What the fuck is that?

3
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,369
Uh, that is Jared Dunn.

4
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,044
He works for Gavin Belson.

5
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,491
Hey. Sorry if I scared you.

6
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,882
I know I have somewhat ghost-like features.

7
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,328
My uncle used to say, "You look like
someone starved a virgin to death."

8
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,490
It's... Yeah. I can see it.

9
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,607
- Mmm.
- Mmm-hmm.

10
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,849
I heard you were having a launch party.

11
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,682
- Yeah.
- Am I early?

12
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,201
No.

13
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,764
Well, then a gift of congratulations.

14
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,280
Now if Gavin sent you here,

15
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,805
you should know that I've turned him down.

16
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:56,881
I'm going with Peter Gregory.

17
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,485
I'm actually picking up my check tomorrow.

18
00:00:58,560 --> 00:00:59,846
So I've made my decision.

19
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,491
That's not why I'm here.
It's just...

20
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,647
Watching you say no to $10 million
to build your own thing,

21
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,371
there's just something
very exciting about that.

22
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,006
Whoa. Whoa, whoa! What is he doing here?

23
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,846
Hey, this is a private party, buddy.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

24
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,367
- Oh, I didn't mean to...
- You know, in the state of California

25
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,330
you can kill a man for entering
your house without permission.

26
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,006
Okay. I understand. Thank you.

27
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,281
Oh.

28
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,160
Richard, I just wanna say,
I really respect what you're doing here.

29
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:32,086
And if you could ever use someone
with my business-development skill set,

30
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,731
- I would love to be a part of this.
- The fuck you will be.

31
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,328
We'll call you when we want pleated khakis.

32
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,447
You know this is a fucking domestic?

33
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,204
Why were you so mean to him?

34
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,567
He wasn't spying on us.
He just said he likes us.

35
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,768
- He wants to join the company.
- Of course he does, Richard.

36
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,166
Let me explain something to you.

37
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,641
Your whole life you've been an ugly chick,

38
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,967
but now suddenly you're a hot chick,

39
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,963
with big tits and small nipples.

40
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,883
So guys like that
are gonna keep coming around.

41
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,485
Don't be a slut, Richard.

42
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,200
I don't...

43
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,808
Now speaking of such things,

44
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,121
Dinesh, change the lighting
to something erotic

45
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,761
because it's about to get
pretty fucking erotic in here.

46
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,566
License to Kill-9. IBAction-dot-Erotica.

47
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,130
What... What's going on?

48
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,449
- What's happening?
- Gentlemen, I present to you

49
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,130
Mochacino.

50
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,806
Not this guy.

51
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,761
Mochacino.

52
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,084
She's my gift to you.

53
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,523
You wanna smoke weed?

54
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,761
Um...

55
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,281
Hey.

56
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,568
Can somebody play something
with a beat, please?

57
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,768
I'll go make a playlist.

58
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,208
Yeah. I actually have
some water cooking, I think.

59
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,163
Yeah, I don't pay for it, so

60
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,087
barking up the wrong tree here.

61
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,801
God, I hate Palo Alto.

62
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,371
Hello again.

63
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,124
You know, I don't actually have
a ton of dance music,

64
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,360
but I turned the bass way up.

65
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,051
Baby,

66
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,645
you're getting a private show.

67
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,204
Hey-

68
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,964
What the fuck?

69
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,929
Okay. There's the butt time.

70
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,089
Should we have left him
in there by himself?

71
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,440
Should we go back in there?

72
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,091
No interest. I entice the flesh,
I don't pay for it.

73
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,844
Plus, Tara's coming into town
in a couple of weeks.

74
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,649
I'm saving up all my humors for her.

75
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,051
You know what I mean?

76
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,963
- What's your excuse?
- I didn't even shake

77
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,725
a woman's hand until I was 17 years old.

78
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,242
The idea of getting an erection
around men I live and work with,

79
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,369
it's just not something I can handle.

80
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,568
The idea that I have a boner
and you have a boner

81
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,966
and he has a boner and
we're all sitting there

82
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,565
with boners in our pants...

83
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,764
I wonder if he's okay in there.

84
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,640
So what do you guys do here?

85
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,088
Oh, we're mostly working on
a lossless compression algorithm.

86
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,084
- A what?
- It makes files smaller.

87
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,810
Doesn't matter. It's called Pied Piper.

88
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,360
It's gonna be famous.
You'll know it, eventually.

89
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,320
Who was this woman that you shook
hands with for the first time?

90
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:29,847
The postman lady.

91
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,128
- What?
- A woman that was a man?

92
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,328
Not a post-man lady.

93
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,607
- A lady who was a post...
- Let me ask you another question.

94
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,648
Who was the second woman
you shook hands with?

95
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,846
I didn't even know
you were coming.

96
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,331
- Stop. Doug!
- Oh, boy.

97
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,041
- Stop.
- I'm the one...

98
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,122
Someone is paying me. Okay? I didn't come

99
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,487
just to dance on your
boner all night for free.

100
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,962
I was not erect. That was...
I was only being polite.

101
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,690
So you were being polite when
you said that you loved me?

102
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,525
First off, I said you seemed
like someone I could fall in love with.

103
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,204
And, yes, also politeness.

104
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,686
Richie, pay the lady.

105
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,328
What? Why should I pay her?

106
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,360
I didn't hire her. I didn't
even get a lap dance.

107
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,641
This is a company party
and you're the CEO, so pony up.

108
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,882
No. If anyone should pay her,
it should be you.

109
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,960
Doug, help the CEO find his money.

110
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,367
No. No, no. We don't need help.

111
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,680
I know where it is. It's here.

112
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,120
- It's all here.
Mmm-hmm.

113
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,725
I don't know... Do you accept AMEX?

114
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,531
- You damn right I do.
- Put 100 on there for yourself, Mocha.

115
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,364
Oh. Well, that's an expensive boner.

116
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:23,441
Not a boner.

117
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,730
Thanks for coming in, guys.

118
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,768
We have a lot to do, so let's get started.

119
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,361
Sounds great.

120
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,651
Me? Okay.

121
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,081
Uh...

122
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:51,130
Well, we're just really excited
to get going, Mr. Gregory.

123
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,521
Yes. Who-S "We"?

124
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,691
Myself, him,

125
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,322
- uh, the guys back at the house.
- Guys?

126
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,966
What guys?

127
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,445
Who is this?

128
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,802
Erlich Bachman. I'm an entrepreneur,

129
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,126
much like yourself.

130
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,321
Uh...

131
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,408
Richard actually developed Pied Piper

132
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,005
while residing in my incubator,

133
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,761
so as per our agreement,
I own 10% of the company.

134
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,168
I'm paying you $200,000 for 5%,

135
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,480
yet you're giving this man

136
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,447
twice that in exchange for a futon

137
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,963
and some sandwiches?

138
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,886
Actually, sir, my tenants
provide their own food.

139
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,680
What other percentages
have you apportioned?

140
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,802
Can I see your cap table,
investment deck,

141
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,770
business plan,
or any other relevant paperwork

142
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,729
you may have prepared?

143
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,249
I just was under the impression that

144
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,769
we would just be coming by
and saying, "Hi," you know, uh,

145
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,445
to pick up the check.

146
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,643
And I just didn't know that
any of that stuff was due yet.

147
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,847
"Due"?

148
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,724
This is not college, Richard.

149
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,610
I am not going to be
giving you a course syllabus.

150
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,686
You turned down $10 million
to keep Pied Piper.

151
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,965
What did you give up that money for?
What is this company?

152
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,160
What did I buy?

153
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,726
- You bought the algorithm, which...
- No.

154
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,443
The algorithm is the
product of the company.

155
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,520
I know that.

156
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,086
What I'm asking about
is the company itself.

157
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,481
Who is it? What do they do?

158
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,331
Are they essential?

159
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,968
Or do you just throw a percentage at them,
like you did with this...

160
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,762
This all must be worked out.

161
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,241
Now.

162
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,921
When you said you'd guide us

163
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,048
through some of this stuff,
I thought that this was

164
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,770
the stuff you'd be guiding us through.

165
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,567
I cannot guide you until you give me

166
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,882
something to guide.

167
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,084
This is going very poorly.

168
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,404
- I know.
- He doesn't seem to know what he's doing.

169
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,362
Did you just take a sip from an empty cup?

170
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,681
Yes.

171
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,921
Why did you do that?

172
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,403
- Just something to do.
- Come back in 48 hours

173
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,164
with an airtight business plan,

174
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,481
a clear go-to-market strategy,

175
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,891
and three-year summary P&L,
or there will be no check.

176
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,726
That's it.

177
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,283
Thanks for coming in, guys.

178
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,401
Um...

179
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,801
Are there any water
fountains in your offices?

180
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:43,761
I assume.

181
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,447
I own 10% of an app
that locates all nearby water fountains.

182
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,840
I'd be happy to discuss it with you.

183
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,649
Good day, gentlemen.

184
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,001
You smoke weed?

185
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,366
You really embarrassed me in there.

186
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,966
You didn't say shit about
any business plan before today.

187
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,681
And neither did he. And he was
kind of being an asshole back there.

188
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,051
Yeah, that's why he's a billionaire.

189
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,921
'Cause he knows how
and when to be an asshole.

190
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,001
That's what you need to be like.

191
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,889
- You do, Richard.
- Whatever.

192
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,646
If you continue to mismanage this company,
giving 10% to whoever...

193
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,041
Obviously, you know,
we can't go back on my shares.

194
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,367
That ship has sailed,
but from here on out...

195
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,170
Now you're being an asshole.

196
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,810
You say that like it's a bad thing.

197
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,247
Richard, if you're not an asshole,
it creates this kind of

198
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,723
asshole vacuum and that void
is filled by other assholes, like Jared.

199
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,484
I mean, you almost gave him shares.

200
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,766
You need to completely
change who you are, Richard.

201
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,207
A complete Teutonic shift has to happen.

202
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,321
- Tectonic.
- What?

203
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,849
A "tectonic" shift is
the Earth's crust moving around.

204
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,082
"Teutonic," which is what you just said,

205
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,891
is an ancient Germanic tribe
that fought the Romans.

206
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,611
They were originally from Scandinavia...

207
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,603
Stop it! Stop it.

208
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,602
You're being a complete tool right now.

209
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,047
I need you to be a complete asshole.

210
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:00,881
Do you understand the difference?

211
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,002
If you're not an asshole,
this company dies.

212
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,289
Erlich, I have 48 hours.

213
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,601
Are you going to help me
with this business plan or not?

214
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,283
I believe in you, Richard.
That's why I'm not.

215
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,042
"Business plans that are created
in support of new ventures"

216
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,727
"or to implement profound
changes in existing venture."

217
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,242
Hi, this is Richard Hendricks.

218
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,290
Is now a good time?

219
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,125
Uh, I need some help.

220
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,284
Whose Chevy Volt is that out front?

221
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,006
Jared Dunn's.

222
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,242
What? Why? Why is he here?

223
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,081
Well, because, as you know,
I need some advice on the business plan.

224
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,401
You're cutting him in?

225
00:10:58,560 --> 00:10:59,561
Um...

226
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,961
Good morning. Whoops, that was weird.

227
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,889
I don't know why I did that.

228
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,085
You kind of have a...
Like a king-ish feeling to you.

229
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,925
You're like a Norse hero from Valhalla.

230
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,207
Don't pander to me.

231
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,766
Peter Gregory said
specifically to trim the fat.

232
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,606
They actually tried to diagnose me
with a wasting disease

233
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,364
because of my slender frame.

234
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:27,282
So, um, I ironed out
our customer acquisition strategy,

235
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,331
and I wrapped our financials.
I did a DCF valuation.

236
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,246
Most VCs can't even do that math,
but something tells me Peter is different.

237
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,440
I think we can jump into
the one-on-ones with each team member

238
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,602
- to see if I can defend our cap table.
- Okay.

239
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,050
But first, if you don't mind,
I'd like to use the restroom.

240
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,971
Uh, yeah. You don't have to
ask permission to do that.

241
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,883
Why, have you not gone
since you've been here?

242
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,167
I have not.

243
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,921
Well... Well, go. I mean, go.

244
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,051
Denpok, I know you were in Aspen.
Thank you for coming.

245
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,725
Please, have a seat.

246
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,445
I'm not sitting this summer.

247
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,726
Of course. Incredible.

248
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,126
What's weighing on you, Gavin?

249
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,481
Jared Dunn quit today to join Pied Piper.

250
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,326
I hate Richard Hendricks,
that little Pied Piper prick.

251
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,844
Ls... Is that wrong?

252
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,970
In the hands of a lesser person, perhaps.

253
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,845
But in the hands of the enlightened,

254
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,810
hate can be a tool for great change.

255
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,641
You're right once again.

256
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,202
Audious, play John Lennon's Imagine.

257
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,404
Cueing John Wayne

258
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,687
In A Mansion. Not found.

259
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,680
- Fuck! Fuck!
- Invalid command.

260
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,130
Use the anger, Chela. Use it.

261
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:06,888
Uh, thanks for sitting down like this,
Gilfoyle. We know it's kind of a little weird.

262
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:12,327
So, um, can you kind of catch me up on
what you see as your role in the company?

263
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,246
- What do you do?
- What do I do?

264
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,565
System architecture.
Networking and security.

265
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,609
No one in this house can touch me on that.

266
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,490
Okay, that's good to know.

267
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,210
But does anyone appreciate that?

268
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,409
While you were busy
minoring in gender studies

269
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,323
and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence,

270
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,244
I was gaining root access to NSA servers.

271
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,643
I was one click away
from starting a second Iranian Revolution.

272
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,086
I actually went to Vassar.

273
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,767
I prevent cross-site scripting.
I monitor for DDOS attacks,

274
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,526
emergency database rollbacks,
and faulty transaction handlings.

275
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,205
The Internet... Heard of it?

276
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,482
Transfers half a petabyte
of data every minute.

277
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,251
Do you have any idea how that happens?

278
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,887
All those YouPorn ones and zeroes
streaming directly

279
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,327
to your shitty little smart
phone day after day?

280
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,920
Every dipshit who shits his pants
if he can't get

281
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,401
the new dubstep Skrillex remix
in under 12 seconds?

282
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,127
It's not magic, it's talent and sweat.

283
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:11,281
People like me ensuring your packets
get delivered un-sniffed.

284
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,521
So what do I do?

285
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,651
I make sure that one bad config
on one key component

286
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,722
doesn't bankrupt the
entire fucking company.

287
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,370
That's what the fuck I do.

288
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,608
Um, that's basically what I told him.

289
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,122
Listen, wherever we end up here,

290
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,283
I just wanna say that I feel
I should get more equity than Dinesh.

291
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,007
I know Gilfoyle probably
came in here and puked out

292
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,241
a bunch of tech specs,

293
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,005
three-fourths of which
are total horse-shit.

294
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,322
Did he bring up the
Iranian Revolution thing?

295
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,770
Yeah, those words mean nothing.

296
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,405
But here's a fact,

297
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,086
I'm the only one of these clowns
that can code in Java.

298
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,131
And I write sleek, performant,
low-overhead Scala code

299
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,164
with higher order functions
that will run on anything.

300
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,602
Period. End of sentence.

301
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,684
So, basically, I think
whatever equity I get,

302
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,811
it should reflect that
I contribute more than Gilfoyle.

303
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,730
- This is weird.
- I know, right? It's...

304
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,161
- Everybody's been doing it.
- Gilfoyle did this?

305
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,801
It's just a formality to get me caught up.

306
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,846
So what makes you of value
to the Pied Piper team?

307
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:14,921
Um...

308
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,401
Programming, I guess.

309
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:21,646
Pretty good at code,
develop algorithms, so forth.

310
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,530
Different from the type of
algorithm Richard created?

311
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,002
Well, yeah. Like, not as good.

312
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,127
Richard's a 10X-er. I'm,
like, barely an X-er.

313
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,001
I kinda suck.

314
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,041
Smoked you. And now...

315
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,887
- Don't be a dick.
- Mushroom stamp!

316
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,368
- You're being a dick.
- Oh, there you go. Show that to your mom.

317
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,131
Mushroom stamp! That's great.

318
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,809
Hey, what do you guys
think about this Jared?

319
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,881
He's shit, right?

320
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,521
No, he's pretty sharp.

321
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,001
Yeah, he does shit that
no one else in the house can do.

322
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,960
Yeah, but he's a know-it-all.
I don't think there's room in here for him.

323
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,082
Well, there will be
after Richard gets rid of Big Head.

324
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,128
Wait, Richard's getting
rid of Big Head? Why?

325
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,810
Listen, we all love Big Head.

326
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,247
But the truth is, he's not
as good of a coder as I am,

327
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,161
not as good at system architecture
as Gilfoyle,

328
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,171
not as good at being a prick as you,
no offense.

329
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,720
He's a lightweight at everything.
Brings nothing to the table.

330
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,324
Him getting points would be
a big "fuck you" to all of us.

331
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,765
- But he's a great guy.
- Great guy. But useless.

332
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,562
Yeah, he is a great guy.

333
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,243
Not like that Jared. Huh.

334
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,529
At least we can all agree on that.

335
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,891
Yeah, I don't know.

336
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,009
Me and Richard have just always
been in this together, you know?

337
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,201
Together, right.

338
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,682
But to be clear, Richard created
the algorithm on his own, yes?

339
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,601
Oh, yeah, I had nothing to do with that.

340
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,482
- He's my best friend.
- That's true.

341
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,564
Yes. The camaraderie is quite apparent.

342
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:51,965
But Peter Gregory demanded
a lean, ruthless business plan,

343
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:56,090
and I don't think that the CEO of Microsoft
has a paid best friend.

344
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,410
Sergey Brin does.
Larry doesn't do shit.

345
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,481
See.

346
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,810
What if Big Head is sort of
like a floating utility player?

347
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,609
Like a jack of all trades.

348
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:12,569
But, by his own admission,
he's really more like a master of none.

349
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,284
That's true. That is true.

350
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:17,409
Which is not something
you'd generally reward with several points

351
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,007
in what may someday be
a multi-billion dollar company.

352
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,283
This will never fly with Peter Gregory.

353
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,051
I would not want to be Richard right now.

354
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,122
Having to tell Big Head that he's out.

355
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,201
This is gonna sound super mean,

356
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,726
but the other night he was sleeping,
I was just staring at his face.

357
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,168
All I could think was,
"He's utterly useless."

358
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,721
"Big Head is a man with zero purpose."

359
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,801
- Oh, hi. Hi, Big Head.
- Hey.

360
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,961
How's it going?

361
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,331
It's super good right now.

362
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,643
Um, I'm just going to maybe
go for a bike ride real fast

363
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,084
and clear my... head.

364
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,004
I'll see you.

365
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,005
- Bike safe.
- Yeah, enjoy it.

366
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,686
That was nice, guys. He heard everything.

367
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,285
That doesn't make it not true.

368
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,284
I mean, come on, Richard.
As far as Pied Piper is concerned,

369
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,846
he's as pointless as Mass <i>Effect</i> 3's
multiple endings.

370
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,527
I mean, he's a completely useless
appendage, and we all know it.

371
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,920
- Oh, hey, man.
- Forgot my water bottle.

372
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:29,041
Just gonna grab it, and then probably
walk right back through one more time.

373
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,409
<i>I mean, Mass Effect 3?</i>

374
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,121
Harsh.

375
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,129
I didn't mean for him to hear it,
but it was true.

376
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,727
I mean, we all called him a great guy,
but he didn't overhear any of that.

377
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,884
It's been 12 hours.

378
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,283
God damn. He's still not answering.

379
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,721
You know...
I'm actually kind of worried about him.

380
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,407
You know, if he's gone,
like, really, truly gone,

381
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,360
in a way that kind of solves your problem.

382
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,125
I mean, like, if he's dead...

383
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,322
Are you trying to say
that Big Head might be dead?

384
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,323
That doesn't help at all.
How is that helping?

385
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,404
I'm just saying that that's a possible
thing that could've happened to him.

386
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,766
It could happen to anybody.

387
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,128
And in this case, at least
something good came out of it.

388
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,440
What's the good part?

389
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,409
You don't have to have
an awkward conversation.

390
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,608
That's scary. Should we go look for him?

391
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,048
I mean, I agree with these guys.
Jared's just not working out.

392
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,567
What?

393
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,326
Um, Richard...

394
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,207
I don't wanna be too assertive here,

395
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,250
but I could use your input
on a few things for the business plan.

396
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,971
Richie, you tried your best.
Just call him, leave a message,

397
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,121
say he's out.

398
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,804
No, that's an asshole move.

399
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,850
Yeah, remember? You need to be an asshole.

400
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,770
I feel bad about saying that thing
about him being dead.

401
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,001
That's not who I am.

402
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,727
- Wait, what is that?
- That's impossible.

403
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,451
NipAlert isn't live yet.

404
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,090
Maybe he's demoing it for someone.

405
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,524
"Mochacino."

406
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,001
He rode his bike to San Jose?

407
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,286
Jared, can I borrow your car?

408
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,203
- Sure.
- I have a car.

409
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,203
What's wrong with my car?

410
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,770
I just have... I don't know.

411
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,282
All right, well, remember to be an asshole.

412
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,801
A real asshole.

413
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,922
Hi, I'm Richard Hendricks.
You did a dance... The dancing at my house.

414
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,724
Your ride's here.

415
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,371
Oh, hey, man.

416
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,164
- Hey.
- Mushroom stamp!

417
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,966
No, come on, dude, not again...

418
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,561
I just wanted to work with
computers and get paid for it.

419
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,122
I didn't want end up fighting with
my roommates over percentage points.

420
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,486
So you're just gonna give up?

421
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,370
On what? This isn't home.

422
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,602
As much as I've tried, it's just not.

423
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,209
I mean, what would I have even done
if I didn't have Mochacino's card?

424
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,770
Where would I have gone?

425
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,124
It's fucking pathetic.

426
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,602
Well, Mochacino seemed to like you.
She let you into her apartment.

427
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,409
I had to give her my bike.

428
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,608
She's just like everyone else
in this goddamn valley.

429
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,843
Watching the bottom line.
Fuck it, dude. I'm done here.

430
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,486
What about NipAlert?

431
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,802
Mochacino shows her tits for a living,
and even she was uncomfortable using it.

432
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:13,124
She said it was sexist.
She's right. It's actually perverted.

433
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,608
I made a perverted, sexist, useless thing.

434
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,281
And, you know, everybody's right, man,

435
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,442
there's nothing for me to do on Pied Piper.

436
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,009
I think over time,
maybe we could redefine your role.

437
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,360
Come on, dude.

438
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,640
Unless you can tell me right now
what I can do for Pied Piper

439
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,570
that no one else can, I'm gone.

440
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,611
- Yeah.
- Uh...

441
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,851
I'm going to go get the stuff
out of my cube at Hooli,

442
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,571
and then I'm getting the
hell out of this town.

443
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,611
So this is goodbye then?

444
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,323
I mean, I'll see you
back at the house, man.

445
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,323
I gotta, like, pack and stuff.

446
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,481
Oh, totally.

447
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,924
I'm going to take the train, I think,
just do some thinking...

448
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,570
Okay. All right, see you.

449
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,411
- The train is this way... I just...
- Oh. I was gonna say.

450
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:09,966
Big Head.

451
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,284
Whatever shit you're about to dump
on my head, you can save it, okay?

452
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,407
I'm not in the mood.

453
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,284
Dude, I just wanted to tell you
that Gavin Belson

454
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,521
wants to talk to you about something.

455
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,803
- Oh, okay. Fuck you.
- No. Seriously.

456
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,767
Gavin Belson said he wants
to speak to Nelson Bighetti?

457
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,042
Yeah, that's what I just said.

458
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,766
Come on.

459
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,120
Okay...

460
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,451
I'm awake! I'm awake.

461
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,927
- What?
- No, no, I wasn't.

462
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,364
I was sleeping. I'm sorry for sleeping
and for lying about it.

463
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,329
For both. No good.

464
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,881
What happened?

465
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,881
Did you fire Big Head?

466
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,521
Uh, no. Not yet. I don't know. Sort of.

467
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,530
So, um, do I include him
in the cap table or not?

468
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:01,931
It's basically good to go.

469
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,201
Uh, no, he's out. Wait... I don't know.

470
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,210
Actually, I just need to close
my eyes for a little bit. Okay?

471
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,363
Richard, it's T-minus four hours
until presentation time.

472
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,085
Are you gonna fire Big Head or not?

473
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,650
I don't know. Uh...

474
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,006
I'm just very tired.

475
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,401
Okay? I'm just gonna go get some water...

476
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,565
Richard, stop being a fucking pussy
and start being an asshole.

477
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,640
Fine! You want me to be an asshole,
I'll be an asshole.

478
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,724
I'll be an asshole to you
and you and you and you

479
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,245
and Peter-fucking-Gregory!

480
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,524
Okay? Fuck all of you. Big Head stays!

481
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,611
You know, if I wanted to be a sell out,
I'd have done that already.

482
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,490
I'd be on a beach somewhere
with $10 million in my pocket.

483
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,530
Not in my pocket, in a bank account.

484
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,401
Okay? This is my company.
It was my idea, and we do what I say.

485
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,684
And what I say is, Jared,
put Big Head in the business plan.

486
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,570
He gets the same amount of
shares as everybody else.

487
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,206
Big Head, you're not going home, man.

488
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,648
Uh, you're right. I'm not.

489
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,804
Gavin Belson just offered me
a huge promotion

490
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,089
for 600 grand a year
to steal me away from you guys.

491
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,124
- What?
- Yeah. For revenge.

492
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,406
Because you took Jared.

493
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,250
So you're like the VP of spite?

494
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,410
But you have to do me a favor, Richard,

495
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,047
if you run into Gavin ever you have to
act really upset about it, you know?

496
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,561
Oh, but I am upset.

497
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,971
Okay? What the fuck?

498
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,361
I kind of just went out on a limb
for you here, man.

499
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,401
Sorry, man, but this is huge for me.

500
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,608
I'm going to move out, get my own place.

501
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,247
In light of this new information,

502
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,608
who gets Big Head's equity?

503
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,290
Should I get half of his shares...

504
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,089
I do. I get it.

505
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,050
Okay? I get all of it!

506
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,323
Big Head, man,
congratulations on the job, really.

507
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,410
But if you'll excuse me,
I have to go lock down

508
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,767
a motherfucking business plan.
Jared, you're with me.

509
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,440
What an asshole.

510
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,730
Yeah. What an asshole.

511
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,486
Next.

512
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,884
- Hi.
- Deposit?

513
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,087
Mmm-hmm.

514
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,491
$200,000 from Peter Gregory?

515
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,761
Mmm-hmm.

516
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,081
Wow.

517
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,441
Sorry.

518
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:38,760
Hello?

519
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,928
Dude, they're taking your code apart.

520
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,571
- What?
- Yeah,

521
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,361
did you give those brogrammer guys access
to a player download or something?

522
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,970
Oh, shit.

523
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,203
They probably hacked the prototype
and decompiled the compression library.

524
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,161
Well, they've got it now, man.

525
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,726
They're gonna reverse-engineer
a version as close as they can

526
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,211
without getting sued.

527
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,760
<i>Wait, wait, are you sure about this?</i>

528
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,882
Yeah, dude, Gavin wants
to beat you to market.

529
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,930
He wants to make sure no other investor
in the Valley offers you a dime.

530
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,640
That is not good.

531
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,009
They're calling it Nucleus,
whatever the fuck that means.

532
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,006
Shit. Sorry, dude, I can't be
talking to you like this. Later.

533
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,487
Yeah.

534
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,126
"Nucleus"?

535
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,729
Excuse me. This check is made out
to "Pied Piper incorporated."

536
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,121
- Do you have an SS-4?
- A what?

537
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,250
Is Pied Piper a corporation
registered with the IRS?

538
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,163
I can't deposit that
into a personal account.

539
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,011
I don't know.

540
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,364
Is that something maybe
you could help me with?

541
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,726
No, sir.

542
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,211
Buddy, come on.

543
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,163
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

544
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,284
- Thank you.
- Sorry. Okay.

545
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,521
Next.