1 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:17,559 《聽她吶喊》 2 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:22,064 《被鴨子餵食的女人》 3 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570 -早晨 -早晨 4 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:30,489 忌廉芝士番茄 5 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,992 馬利奧,真希望 你不是育有四子的幸福爸爸 6 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,412 好了 7 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,039 謝謝 8 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,207 明天見 9 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,291 拜拜 10 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,758 (醫學院入學試) 11 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:50,843 還是粗身大勢嗎? 12 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,678 你最近怎樣? 13 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,054 還是老樣子 14 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,974 今天風和日麗,我在公園裏溫書 15 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,684 你怎樣幫我孩子生幾個表弟妹? 16 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,102 你經常孤零零地坐在長凳上 17 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,854 我不是孤零零 18 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:06,108 你看這些火辣筍盤 19 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:10,362 看看綠色頭的那一隻 20 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:15,409 牠肯定有條擎天巨柱,又長又彎的那種 21 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,493 很噁心 22 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,579 你仍有用那平台嗎? 23 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,831 有 24 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:22,958 然後呢? 25 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,252 很少人選 26 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:33,969 上一個傢伙帶我去喜劇俱樂部 看他表演棟篤笑 27 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,053 那也算約會 28 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,973 總之搬回來吧,這裏肯定有更多單身筍盤 29 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:42,394 這應該只是三字頭在情場的可悲現實 30 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,188 如果一個男人仍是單身 31 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,150 他要麼是本身有問題 要麼就有感情包袱,我不知道 32 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,401 為何要談拍拖的事? 33 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,153 誰在乎?我想聽你和孩子們的近況 34 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,530 孩子們很好,他們… 35 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,950 這就是答案 36 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,702 拜,他們崩潰了,不講了,拜 37 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,505 你望甚麼? 38 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,270 你想要甚麼?免翁牛柳? 39 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,480 當然了,你有嗎? 40 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,775 -甚麼? -我要三成熟 41 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,987 這是甚麼鬼啊? 42 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,572 講笑而已,鴨子不吃牛 43 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,034 我們亦不喜歡百吉圈碎,只是話聲你知 44 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,871 你在看甚麼書? 45 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,667 醫學院入學試攻略 46 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,002 是… 47 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,967 用來準備一個考試,如果你… 48 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,846 我知道醫學院入學試是甚麼 我是鴨子,不是傻子 49 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,306 你想做哪類型的醫生? 50 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:06,353 應該會做心臟科醫生吧 我父親死於心臟病 51 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,272 我為甚麼要跟你說這種事呢? 52 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,358 節哀順變,一定很難過 53 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,403 順帶一提,我確實有條擎天巨柱 54 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,947 而且有刺的 55 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,700 甚麼? 56 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,868 只是想回答你的問題 57 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,912 你一直在偷聽我說話? 58 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,456 你每天都來這個公眾地方 與你姐姐傾視像通話 59 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,333 很難會聽不到 60 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,503 我叫萊利 61 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,297 艾莉莎 62 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,841 你覺得你姐姐 為何那麼關心你的愛情生活? 63 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,180 她應該只是覺得寂寞 64 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,725 她想跟我分享這種經歷 65 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,603 又或者她的父權制觀念根深柢固 66 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:51,190 以至認為你的唯一價值是跟男性有關 67 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,695 你是一隻女權主義的鴨子? 68 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,656 一隻被眾多雌鴨包圍著的雄鴨 69 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,325 你覺得我有得揀嗎? 70 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,784 大鑊 71 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,621 衰人,放狗要牽狗繩啊,望清楚告示牌吧 72 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,748 明天同樣時間見? 73 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,310 (谷歌) 74 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,063 (會說話的鴨子) 75 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:42,199 (鴨子是否不喜歡百吉圈?) 76 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:08,851 (鴨子喜歡吃甚麼?) 77 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,816 加利… 78 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,236 不好意思,嗨,很抱歉打擾了你 79 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,737 我是動物管制局職員 80 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,533 你有否剛巧見到一隻沒牽狗繩的牧牛犬? 81 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,159 聽到“加利”就有反應的狗? 82 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:30,706 對,昨天有見過,但今天沒見到牠 83 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,541 弊 84 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,293 大鑊了 85 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,379 不過也謝謝你 86 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,468 只是…風暴快要來,所以… 87 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,014 我真的很希望能夠趁打風前找到牠 88 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,016 我也是 89 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,101 希望你會留在安全乾爽的地方 90 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,519 我會的 91 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,646 如果我留在室內的話 92 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,690 保重了 93 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,984 真有型 94 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,111 用狗做藉口來撩女仔 95 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,614 嗨,又見到你了 96 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,948 你回來了 97 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,116 是 98 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,160 我每天都來這裏 99 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:12,873 所以…我又來了 100 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:15,959 我帶了一些東西給你 101 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:22,090 粟米和提子 102 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,550 你上網查我? 103 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,429 沒有,那樣會很奇怪 104 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,520 你姐姐還好嗎? 105 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,564 還好,其實很難講 106 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,983 我昨晚打給她 107 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,236 結果花了30分鐘聽她狠評學前教育 108 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,615 有時我覺得做媽媽 只是社會認可的自戀行為 109 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,408 但當然你不能說出口 110 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,576 你剛才就說了 111 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:54,039 是,我不知道自己為何這麼說,我愛姐姐 112 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,165 她是大好人 113 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,001 我們一邊吃,一邊深思 114 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,086 好 115 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,797 你似乎很在意禮貌 116 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,924 -沒有 -也許你該相信自己的直覺 117 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,926 也許你姐姐真的是一個自戀狂 118 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:09,596 她總是說自己和孩子們的事 卻從未問過關於你的事 119 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,016 不是,她問很多問題 120 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,560 問你無拖拍的事 121 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,855 這樣她就可以互相比較,自我感覺良好 122 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,565 她有問其他事嗎? 123 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,067 她貴人事忙 124 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,571 叫她別再管你的生活來自娛自樂 125 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,575 還有其他發現嗎? 126 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:33,579 有,你已經看了 那本入學試攻略的同一章節20次 127 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,874 所以你要不是心不在焉 128 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,835 要不就最近根本不想溫書 129 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,466 你有聽聞過快要打風嗎? 130 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,303 你是否抄那個男人的開場白? 131 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,140 很噁心 132 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,100 -不好意思 -沒關係…很可愛 133 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,106 我可否問你一條私人問題? 134 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,860 下雨時,鴨子會做甚麼? 135 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,571 那邊的白癡們超喜歡下雨天 136 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,949 我通常會匿在長凳下,儘量避免凍死 137 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,034 我不是在埋怨 138 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,053 你打算邀請我進去嗎? 139 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,806 (安妮) 140 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,977 -嘩 -不好意思 141 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,230 (你的一票很重要) 142 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,733 不是常有人來我家 143 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,610 沒關係,我喜歡整體的美感 144 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,446 一小堆信件、一小堆衣服 145 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,616 一小堆鞋子、一小堆電線 146 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:59,248 我的美感就是宿舍混合廉價旅館 147 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,624 不錯啊,很美 148 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,544 我不常獲邀參觀公寓單位 149 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,421 只是我沒做過甚麼來裝飾這裏 150 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,924 我考慮了一個月打算做一幅主題牆 151 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,301 但後來一看到油漆網站 152 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,304 就覺得自己應付不來 153 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:18,392 別這麼想,勇敢去做,活出人生的色彩 154 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,480 也許你就是 《房產兄弟》失散已久的三兄弟 155 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,274 《房產兄弟》是甚麼人? 156 00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,818 我真的看不厭這些傢伙 157 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,902 沒錯 158 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,865 他們改造了那個可悲的廚房 這點不得不承認 159 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,952 我打賭10美元,那個丈夫會感動落淚 160 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,288 我沒有錢,但接受你的賭注 161 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,375 不是吧 162 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,294 不,這是固有模式 163 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:48,922 大男人、多疑的丈夫通常會激動起來 164 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,549 因為要丟掉他們的皮梳化 165 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:54,720 然後主持人換上家庭舊照和組合式梳化 166 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,598 嘩,你知曉一切 167 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,101 我有很偏門的知識 168 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,814 你想吃甜品嗎? 169 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:10,444 我沒說不想,這樣真的很好 170 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,823 我是說,你人很好 171 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:22,414 你跟所有將你綁架在單車籃裏的女生 都是這麼說 172 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,796 你確定要在浴缸裏睡? 173 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,341 怎麼了?你要邀請我到你床上睡嗎? 174 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,552 我是衰人,但未至於如此墮落 175 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,848 你想要多暖? 176 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,808 室溫 177 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,603 我知道你喜歡一堆堆的東西 178 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,648 不過為甚麼四處都是那些海報? 179 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,986 我之前幫過一個競選活動工作 180 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:56,323 我搬來了這裏,後來… 181 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,618 我不知道你有否關心政治 182 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,913 你沒有投票權,就很難去關心政治 183 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,625 那就是我們當時的目標,投票率 184 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:12,214 總言之,我的候選人落選了 185 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:17,094 如今我就被困在丹佛,努力重拾生活 186 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,680 -有用嗎? -甚麼? 187 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,223 填補空虛 188 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,104 沒有,但確實能夠稍微分散我的注意力 189 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,815 有點像加入邪教 190 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,402 但之後你就心想 “不理政治了,我想做個醫生” 191 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,905 聽起來很像精神分裂吧? 192 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,491 沒有…只是聽起來像是一段歷程 193 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,785 我覺得做醫生能夠幫到更多人 194 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,705 比從政更甚 195 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,374 你這樣是他人導向性格 196 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,543 甚麼意思? 197 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,212 即是指你經常為他人著想 198 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:54,590 哪怕這樣會令你不開心 199 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,091 我觀察到就是這樣的 200 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,179 你總是如此觀察入微的嗎? 201 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,806 老實講,這既是天賦,亦是詛咒 202 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,185 不,這樣感覺很特別 203 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,980 我每次去那些約會 204 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:16,862 真的不是說笑 那些傢伙要不是問沉悶、敷衍的問題 205 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,780 就是齋講自己的事 206 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,866 就像不是雙向的對話 207 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,367 這我不羡慕 208 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,373 你有否懷疑過… 209 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,919 是自己的問題嗎? 210 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,464 因為跟我約會過的那些男士 211 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:39,301 都覺得自己是超市裏的爛生果 212 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,928 彷彿他們是有缺陷的 213 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,848 然後我就心想 214 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,773 “等等,我也有缺陷嗎?只是我看不到?” 215 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,318 在我眼中,你沒有缺陷 216 00:12:58,487 --> 00:12:59,530 你不了解我 217 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:04,201 我知道你是個好女生 值得擁有的事物比你想像中更多 218 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,751 應該可以了 219 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,132 那就好,因為我在馬桶上凍到不得了 220 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,307 可否幫幫我? 221 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,172 你個衰人 222 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,799 你中計了 223 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:03,802 唏,想進來嗎? 224 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,388 暖一下身子嘛 225 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:12,769 -我會裸著身子 -我也是,別那麼雙重標準 226 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:37,604 你確定不用我幫手? 227 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,941 不用,我跟你說過了,這是個驚喜 228 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,332 這是我們第一次約會時 229 00:15:57,416 --> 00:16:01,295 吃的東西,但當時卻沒察覺是場約會 230 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,380 不過這個版本較華麗 231 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,048 譬如說,與其吃百吉圈 232 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,178 我做了酸種麵包 233 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,345 我怎麼會吃它? 234 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,641 我不是說笑 235 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,728 等陣,甚麼? 236 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,731 我跟你說過幾多次?我不喜歡吃麵包 237 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,066 我還以為你只是說百吉圈 238 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,736 不,是所有麵包,沒有鴨子喜歡麵包 239 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,280 千萬不要餵鴨子吃麵包 240 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:31,450 它會在我們的肚子裏膨脹,導致死亡 241 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:34,745 網上應該查不到這一點吧? 242 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,538 -萊利 -甚麼? 243 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,000 -怎麼了? -沒甚麼 244 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,084 只是直話直說而已 245 00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:47,007 還有你也可以戒掉碳水化合物 只是隨便說說 246 00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:01,605 唏 247 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:03,607 唏 248 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:06,902 我正一衰人 249 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,070 我同意 250 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,281 我可否… 251 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,705 你是我一生中遇過最美好的事物 252 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,417 當然了,我害怕失去你 253 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:28,882 於是我就自毀形象,我很討厭自己這麼做 254 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,762 但我愛你 255 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,725 -真的嗎? -當然了 256 00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,686 這是令我變得激動的部分原因 257 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,441 你頗有脾氣 258 00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:48,110 你該見見我的爸爸 259 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:50,654 我不喜歡 260 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,738 我並不完美 261 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:56,577 我有時衝動起來就控制不了自己 262 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,329 或許某程度上是遺傳的 263 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:02,666 但我…會改善的,好嗎?就為了你 264 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:10,007 我可否跟你一起坐?我只是想…靠近你 265 00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,184 真好 266 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,232 -抱歉,是莉莉 -你可以接的 267 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,239 我們和好了嗎? 268 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,451 因為這個後院簡直是王宮 269 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,619 而你就是我的女王 270 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:41,997 你在想甚麼?你…弊 271 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,749 你想帶我回去那個公園,我就知道 272 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,043 我覺得這裏要有一個人工水景 273 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,548 例如小小的噴泉、不用很誇張 令人身心舒暢的水景 274 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:53,550 正啊 275 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,612 你究竟去哪裏了? 276 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,239 先跟你講句“嗨” 277 00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,992 你上星期一直不接我的電話 萬一我要臨盆怎麼辦? 278 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:22,663 -天啊,我完全沒想到 -你還好吧? 279 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,289 我很好,我… 280 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:28,710 我有拖拍了 281 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,255 天啊,太好了 282 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,090 很好吧? 283 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,676 是,他為人也很好 284 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,177 只是… 285 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,097 關係才剛開始 286 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,181 而且… 287 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:44,268 他有點複雜 288 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,520 -他是已婚的嗎? -不是 289 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,604 天啊 290 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,400 我不肯定自己是否想進一步… 291 00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:54,444 不,好吧,時間尚早,才剛開始,我明白 292 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,280 總之記住我替你很高興 293 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,740 他最好知道自己有多幸運 否則我就會踢他的屁股 294 00:19:58,824 --> 00:19:59,825 謝謝你,小莉 295 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,578 現在要檢查你的子宮頸 296 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,496 -那是誰?你在哪裏? -我正在婦科診所 297 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,040 看看這個超重的寶寶 能否通過我的子宮頸出來 298 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:08,792 收線吧,我們遲些再談 299 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:19,887 萊利 300 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:29,980 嗨 301 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,190 你搞甚麼啊? 302 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,649 你說你很快會回來 303 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,484 我只不過出去了幾個鐘 304 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,695 我們似乎對“很快”的定義不同 305 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:41,200 你竟然在我家裏到處大便 306 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,368 你鎖上了後門,所以我無法出去外面 307 00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:44,453 你叫我該怎麼辦? 308 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:47,539 甚麼?不,等陣,別怪到我頭上 309 00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:49,208 我沒有怪你,只是隨便說說 310 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,377 你正一衰人 311 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,421 你卻喜歡我這一點 312 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:57,925 你在我的醫學院入學試攻略上大便 313 00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,094 我在哪裏都放低幾兩,我沒有想太多 314 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:04,681 是我…想太多嗎?我瘋了嗎? 315 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,017 這並沒有其他意思? 316 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,436 唏,是你自己說的,我沒這麼說 317 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:14,525 唏 318 00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,529 我們現在是怎樣? 319 00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:19,613 你在說甚麼? 320 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,323 這樣的關係很不健康 321 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,493 誰在乎健不健康?健康的關係很無聊 322 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,245 健康的關係不會令人心累 323 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:28,747 這種關係卻令人心累 324 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,707 你信我嗎? 325 00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:37,005 -現在來說,老實講,不太信 -這也合理 326 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:40,467 為甚麼? 327 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,803 我想試一樣東西,如果沒有用 328 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,137 你以後都不用再跟我說話 329 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:45,222 可以嗎? 330 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,517 但我需要你信我 至少在接下來一小時內聽我講 331 00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:52,938 -好吧 -好 332 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,815 除褲,然後瞓低 333 00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:58,235 現在? 334 00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,446 -在地板上? -地板很乾淨 335 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,448 不是嗎? 336 00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:05,784 你為其他人付出了很多 337 00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,160 你為我付出了很多 338 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:10,163 所以我就想為你做點事 339 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,234 甚麼? 340 00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,577 天啊 341 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,593 天啊 342 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:05,928 天啊 343 00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:25,906 弊 344 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:35,999 弊了 345 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:39,002 弊了 346 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:43,549 弊了… 347 00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:53,183 -我太遲了嗎? -你是認真的嗎? 348 00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:55,936 拜託,我犯了一個愚蠢的錯 349 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:58,522 是,很抱歉,你要重新報考11月的考試 350 00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,566 等等,那是…三個月後的事 351 00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:02,776 誰知道我還會不會… 352 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:06,655 你還好嗎? 353 00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:17,374 唏,今天是重大日子吧? 354 00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:19,585 順利嗎? 355 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:23,338 -我沒有考 -怎麼了? 356 00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,386 我忘了 357 00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:33,307 我忘了醫學院入學試 358 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:34,391 你…甚麼? 359 00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:37,853 溫書溫了幾個月 360 00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:41,940 我卻完全搞禍了 361 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:44,067 寶貝,我很遺憾 362 00:24:44,151 --> 00:24:45,152 不是 363 00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,070 或許你是因禍得福 364 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:48,197 怎麼說? 365 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,158 現在你有時間 366 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,911 搞清楚自己真正想做的事 367 00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:56,663 我想做醫生 368 00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,458 你之前也想過從政 369 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,836 你經常改變心意,但也沒甚麼問題 370 00:25:03,504 --> 00:25:05,339 我很想找個洞鑽進去 371 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:09,134 我會陪你一起鑽進去,好嗎? 372 00:25:12,179 --> 00:25:13,931 你已經叫了外賣? 373 00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:20,771 喂 374 00:25:21,939 --> 00:25:25,150 天啊,你成個月都沒有覆我電話或訊息 375 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,235 我還以為你死了 376 00:25:26,318 --> 00:25:27,528 你怎麼來了? 377 00:25:27,611 --> 00:25:29,404 我大肚林抌 378 00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:32,282 這樣的大熱天,開了一整天車 379 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:34,368 就是為了來看你究竟發生甚麼事 380 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,537 馬上讓我進去…然後… 381 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:37,996 給我一杯水 382 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,499 總之…等等,我立刻下來 383 00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,917 -等我一下 -他在嗎? 384 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,669 不,我現在下來,等一下 385 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,716 我要出去幾個鐘 386 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,886 你也知道你出去那麼久,我會焦慮 387 00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:55,514 我姐姐在樓下 388 00:25:56,807 --> 00:25:58,225 我不可以讓她進來,所以我… 389 00:25:58,308 --> 00:25:59,309 為何不可? 390 00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:03,397 唏,為何不可? 391 00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:13,866 你根本不喜歡你姐姐 392 00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:15,492 當然不是 393 00:26:15,576 --> 00:26:17,911 別騙自己了,所以你才搬出來這裏住 394 00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:20,581 為了遠離她,免受她批評 395 00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,426 我只是想離開這裏 396 00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:37,222 所以現在你不理我了 397 00:26:37,306 --> 00:26:39,099 我會幫你翻熱食物 398 00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:41,059 -別扮傻 -我沒有 399 00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:42,561 傻雞 400 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:47,858 -這種話不好笑 -我不是開玩笑 401 00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:50,694 -別叫我傻雞 -那就別像一隻傻雞般發癲 402 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:54,823 我要出去一陣 403 00:26:56,158 --> 00:26:58,285 不要趁我不在時到處大便 404 00:26:58,368 --> 00:26:59,703 你發甚麼神經? 405 00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:05,876 我流血了 406 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:07,336 你弄傷了自己,真遺憾 407 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921 是你弄傷我 408 00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:10,631 你竟然這樣想,真遺憾 409 00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:16,386 蔥油餅似乎不錯 410 00:27:18,222 --> 00:27:19,223 你的臉怎麼了? 411 00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:22,184 甚麼? 412 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,647 我不小心弄傷自己 413 00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:29,858 阿妹,不如我們陣間再想點甚麼食物 414 00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:31,818 我真的很擔心你 415 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:34,404 我講過了,我沒事 你不必當我孩子般對待 416 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:36,865 聽住,我很高興你找到男朋友 417 00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:38,909 但一個好男朋友不會阻止你做想做的事 418 00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:40,744 莉莉,他沒有阻止我做想做的事 419 00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:46,750 他阻止我見你,目前為止對我也有益處 420 00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:50,504 你總是要逼我去拍拖 421 00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:53,215 問及未來計劃 422 00:27:53,298 --> 00:27:55,676 我只是希望你想清楚甚麼東西令你開心 423 00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:57,803 你明白了嗎?連你說這句話的口吻也一樣 424 00:27:58,303 --> 00:27:59,721 我或者已經很開心 425 00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:01,974 那就好,總要有人開心 426 00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,101 你不開心嗎? 427 00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:06,103 當然不開心了 428 00:28:06,687 --> 00:28:09,231 這個孩子是個意外 429 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,942 我和安祖甚少上床 所以這次簡直晴天霹靂 430 00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:15,070 但不管怎樣 她會來到這個世界,我會愛她 431 00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:17,364 但我真的很想變回以前的身材 432 00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:18,574 並回到以前的生活 433 00:28:22,536 --> 00:28:23,745 我錯過了醫學院入學試 434 00:28:23,829 --> 00:28:24,913 甚麼?為甚麼? 435 00:28:25,497 --> 00:28:27,749 我覺得自己不是做醫生的材料 436 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,084 你在亂說甚麼? 437 00:28:29,168 --> 00:28:31,879 我經常改變心意 438 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:35,465 我一直質疑自己的決定 439 00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:37,551 我連自己也照顧不了 440 00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:40,053 我憑甚麼覺得自己有資格照顧其他人? 441 00:28:40,137 --> 00:28:41,763 甚麼?不,這太荒謬了 442 00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:44,349 你是我所認識最聰明、體貼的人之一 443 00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:47,227 當爸爸患病時,你全程陪著他 444 00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:49,771 比我問更多有用的問題 445 00:28:49,855 --> 00:28:52,274 那是因為我當時單身 而且我和他高度互相依賴 446 00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:54,985 不,是因為你心地善良 447 00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:58,030 你是個好人 448 00:28:58,655 --> 00:28:59,907 是他向你灌輸那想法吧? 449 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:06,496 如果這傢伙令你覺得自己毫無價值 450 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:09,499 我向天發誓,我會上門隊冧他 451 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:12,252 他們可以拉我這個大肚婆去坐監 我不是講笑 452 00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:21,762 不,我們點餐吧 453 00:29:29,770 --> 00:29:32,439 拜託你不要開車回家時作動 454 00:29:32,523 --> 00:29:34,441 如果真的這樣,那就是你的錯 455 00:29:36,485 --> 00:29:37,486 我愛你 456 00:29:38,612 --> 00:29:39,696 接我電話吧 457 00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:45,285 (萬里長城餐廳) 458 00:30:06,723 --> 00:30:07,891 謝謝你抽空過來 459 00:30:07,975 --> 00:30:10,018 -艾莉莎 -我不知道還能打給誰 460 00:30:16,608 --> 00:30:18,694 唏,鴨仔 461 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:22,447 這條鬃獅蜥怎麼會在這裏? 是誰讓你進來? 462 00:30:23,782 --> 00:30:25,951 嘩,有人生氣了 463 00:30:26,034 --> 00:30:28,120 放心,我不會傷害你 464 00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:32,082 如果這個自以為是的賤人 以為能夠智勝我… 465 00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:35,836 艾莉莎,甜心,艾莉莎,你這個醜樣蠢婆 466 00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:38,338 這是…你的主意嗎?反骨雞 467 00:30:38,422 --> 00:30:39,965 牠很爛口吧? 468 00:30:40,048 --> 00:30:41,508 好了,賤人,死開 469 00:30:41,592 --> 00:30:42,593 -來 -艾莉莎 470 00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:44,845 來吧,好嘢 471 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:46,555 好 472 00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:51,768 搞掂,該走了 473 00:30:51,852 --> 00:30:54,188 我不會走,這是…我的家 474 00:30:54,271 --> 00:30:56,690 艾莉莎,我會殺死你 475 00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:04,615 (動物管制局) 476 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:06,700 -唏 -唏 477 00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:09,119 再次感謝你 478 00:31:09,203 --> 00:31:11,455 不客氣,是我的本分 479 00:31:13,165 --> 00:31:16,502 天啊,真的很抱歉,我要付你錢嗎? 480 00:31:16,585 --> 00:31:19,296 不用,這是市政服務,市政局付我薪水 481 00:31:20,464 --> 00:31:23,926 我想確保你沒事 482 00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:26,428 你剛才在裏面似乎頗惶恐 483 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:29,139 是 484 00:31:33,894 --> 00:31:36,146 那隻鴨很難相處 485 00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:38,524 是 486 00:31:38,607 --> 00:31:42,819 這種動物異常地有攻擊性 487 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:45,197 你會以為牠們都很可愛、惹人喜歡 488 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,200 但其實蠻橫到不得了 489 00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:50,327 特別是雄鴨 490 00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:52,955 我很意外你能夠留著牠這麼久 491 00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:55,874 人的容忍程度真是令人意想不到 492 00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:00,379 你有沒有讀過《紐約客》的一篇文章? 493 00:32:00,462 --> 00:32:04,216 是關於人鴨性交和父權主義 494 00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:07,719 裏面講到一些令人難以置信的事情 495 00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,974 抱歉,我不是變態佬,我向你保證 496 00:32:12,057 --> 00:32:15,602 我只是個超級科學迷 497 00:32:17,104 --> 00:32:18,188 -你也是? -是 498 00:32:18,272 --> 00:32:19,273 甚麼? 499 00:32:19,356 --> 00:32:20,816 -我…是 -好吧,看看,對了 500 00:32:20,899 --> 00:32:22,067 你幾時考醫學院入學試? 501 00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,361 幾個月後 502 00:32:24,444 --> 00:32:27,614 我在努力重新專注備試 503 00:32:28,907 --> 00:32:30,826 你想我載你去公園嗎? 504 00:32:30,909 --> 00:32:32,119 反正我也要把那隻衰鴨 505 00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:33,579 -扔回湖裏,所以… -不… 506 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,040 你看那隻狗仔 507 00:32:37,124 --> 00:32:40,878 是,我想…我需要去多人的環境 508 00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:43,338 所以我會找間咖啡店 509 00:32:43,422 --> 00:32:46,508 如果你之後還想養寵物,就養狗吧 510 00:32:46,592 --> 00:32:47,968 我領養了兩隻狗 511 00:32:48,051 --> 00:32:51,221 市長,其實是讀長度的“長” 512 00:32:51,305 --> 00:32:53,807 和艾索福利,兩隻好狗仔都在我家 513 00:32:56,685 --> 00:32:57,728 我目前應該 514 00:32:58,395 --> 00:33:01,190 不會想再照顧另一個生物 515 00:33:03,609 --> 00:33:05,027 除了我自己 516 00:33:06,737 --> 00:33:11,700 那麼如果你遇上任何意想不到的動物狀況 517 00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:13,619 你知道要去哪裏找我 518 00:33:15,996 --> 00:33:19,791 又或者,如果你想一起飲杯酒 519 00:33:23,545 --> 00:33:25,631 我才剛結束一段關係 520 00:33:27,049 --> 00:33:28,717 就在五秒前 521 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,511 不,我明白,太快了 522 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:33,764 沒關係,好吧,那麼… 523 00:33:38,477 --> 00:33:40,562 唏,不過或者… 524 00:33:40,646 --> 00:33:43,774 我可以幾個月後打給你嗎? 525 00:33:44,441 --> 00:33:46,735 考完醫學院入學試之後? 526 00:33:47,277 --> 00:33:50,197 除非…我不知道 你到時候結識了某位好醫生 527 00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:54,952 我不必結識某位好醫生 528 00:33:55,953 --> 00:33:58,539 因為我就是一位好醫生 529 00:34:25,315 --> 00:34:27,234 (改編自西西莉雅艾亨之作) 530 00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,300 字幕翻譯:黃小娟