1 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:17,559 《她們的怒吼》 2 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:22,064 《受鴨子灌輸想法的女人》 3 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570 -早安 -早安 4 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:30,489 鮮奶油乳酪番茄口味 5 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,992 真可惜你已經是 婚姻幸福的四寶爸了,馬力歐 6 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,412 好 7 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,039 謝謝惠顧 8 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,207 明天見 9 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,291 再見 10 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,758 (醫學院入學考試) 11 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:50,843 還在懷孕中嗎? 12 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,678 妳在做什麼? 13 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,054 跟平常一樣 14 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,974 在公園讀書,享受美好的一天 15 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,684 妳整天一個人坐在長椅上 16 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,102 我的孩子怎會有表弟妹呢? 17 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,854 我不是一個人 18 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:06,108 看看這些迷人的男友人選 19 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:10,362 看一下那隻綠色頭頂的 20 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:15,409 牠的老二一定很大,又長又彎的那種 21 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,493 這也太可悲了 22 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,579 妳至少還用交友軟體吧? 23 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,831 有啦 24 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:22,958 然後呢? 25 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,252 好的選擇太少了 26 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:33,969 上次約我出去的男人 帶我去喜劇俱樂部看他表演單口相聲 27 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,053 整場約會就這樣 28 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,973 妳就搬回家吧 我敢說這裡的單身漢比較優質 29 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:42,394 我想30多歲的人想找對象就是這麼難 30 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,188 這年紀的男人如果還單身 31 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,150 那他要不是有什麼問題 就是有過情感創傷,不知道 32 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,401 我們幹嘛聊約會的事? 33 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,153 誰在乎?我想聽妳跟孩子們的事 34 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,530 孩子們都很好,他們… 35 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,950 妳也聽到了 36 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,702 再見,孩子失控中,我得掛斷了 37 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,505 你看什麼看? 38 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,270 你想要什麼?菲力牛排? 39 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,480 好啊,妳有嗎? 40 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,775 -什麼? -我要三分熟的 41 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,987 這是什麼鬼狀況? 42 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,572 開玩笑的,鴨子不吃牛排 43 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,034 我們也不愛吃皮太硬的貝果,跟妳說一聲 44 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,871 妳在讀什麼書? 45 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,667 醫學院入學考試的書 46 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,002 這是… 47 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,967 為了準備一種考試,考過了才能… 48 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,846 我知道醫學院入學考試是什麼 我是鴨子,不是傻子 49 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,306 妳想當哪種醫師? 50 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:06,353 我也許會選心臟科 我爸就是因心臟病過世的 51 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,272 我幹嘛跟你說這些? 52 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,358 節哀順變,妳一定很難過 53 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,403 對了,我的老二的確很大 54 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,947 還長滿了刺 55 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,700 什麼? 56 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,868 我只是回答妳的問題 57 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,912 你剛才聽到我說話了? 58 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,456 妳天天都來這裡 在公共空間跟妳姊姊視訊 59 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,333 很難不聽到妳說話 60 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,503 我叫賴瑞 61 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,297 我叫艾莉莎 62 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,841 妳姊姊為什麼這麼關心妳的感情生活? 63 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,180 我想她只是太寂寞了 64 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,725 而且她希望我跟她一樣結婚生子 65 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,603 或者她已經完全接受父權體制 66 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:51,190 並相信妳唯一的價值要靠男人來定義 67 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,695 你是隻支持女性主義的鴨子? 68 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,656 這片池塘只有我一隻公鴨 69 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,325 妳覺得我有得選嗎? 70 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,784 去你的 71 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,621 給你的狗戴上他媽的狗繩,混蛋 看清楚告示 72 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,748 明天同一時間再聊 73 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,310 (Google搜尋) 74 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,063 (會說話的鴨子) 75 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:42,199 (鴨子不愛吃貝果嗎?) 76 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:08,851 (鴨子喜歡吃什麼?) 77 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,816 蓋瑞… 78 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,236 不好意思,嗨,抱歉打擾一下 79 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,737 我是動物管制員 80 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,533 妳有看到一隻沒戴狗繩的澳洲牧牛犬嗎? 81 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,159 我們都叫牠蓋瑞 82 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:30,706 有耶,昨天看到的,不過我今天沒看到牠 83 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,541 該死 84 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,293 真煩人 85 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,379 不過還是謝了 86 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,468 只是…有大型暴風雨要來了,所以… 87 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,014 我很希望能找到牠 讓牠在暴風雨來襲前待在室內 88 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,016 我也希望如此 89 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,101 祝妳平安,別淋到雨了 90 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,519 我會沒事的 91 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,646 如果我待在屋子裡的話 92 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,690 保重 93 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,984 真老套 94 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,111 拿狗來當作跟女人搭訕的藉口 95 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,614 嗨,又見面了 96 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,948 妳回來了 97 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,116 是啊 98 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,160 我本來就天天都來 99 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:12,873 所以…我又出現了 100 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:15,959 我帶了東西給你 101 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:22,090 玉米和葡萄 102 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,550 妳上網查了我的資料? 103 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,429 沒有,那也太奇怪了 104 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,520 妳姊姊還好嗎? 105 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,564 還好吧,看不太出來 106 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,983 我昨晚打電話給她 107 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,236 結果花了30分鐘聽她抱怨幼兒園 108 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,615 有時我覺得當媽媽 只是受社會認可的自戀行為 109 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,408 但你當然不能大聲發表這種意見 110 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,576 妳剛剛就發表了 111 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:54,039 是,我不知道我幹嘛那樣說 我很愛我姊姊 112 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,165 她很棒 113 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,001 給妳個值得深思的問題 作為妳餵食我的回禮 114 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,086 好 115 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,797 妳好像很在意要維持禮貌 116 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,924 -我沒有 -也許妳該相信直覺 117 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,926 也許妳姊姊就是個自戀狂 118 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:09,596 她只會談她自己跟孩子的事 對妳的生活從不過問 119 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,016 才不是那樣,她總是問我很多問題 120 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,560 都關於妳悽慘的感情生活 121 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,855 好讓她在相較之下覺得自己很棒 122 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,565 她有問妳別的事嗎? 123 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,067 她很忙 124 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,571 叫她別再只為了自己的樂趣 而關心妳的生活 125 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,575 你還有觀察到其他事嗎? 126 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:33,579 有,那本醫學院入學考試的書 妳重讀了大概20次同一個章節 127 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,874 看來妳要嘛就是分心了 128 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,835 要嘛就是妳最近不是很想讀書 129 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,466 你有聽說有暴風雨要來嗎? 130 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,303 妳是把那傢伙的搭訕話題拿來用嗎? 131 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,140 這樣很討人厭 132 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,100 -抱歉 -不…挺可愛的 133 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,106 我能問你個私人問題嗎? 134 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,860 鴨子下雨時會怎麼辦? 135 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,571 那邊那些傻子很愛下雨天 136 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,949 而我通常是躲在那張長椅下 才不會被冷死 137 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,034 不過我不是在抱怨 138 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,053 妳要邀請我進門嗎? 139 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,806 (安妮) 140 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,977 -哇 -抱歉 141 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,230 (你的一票很重要) 142 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,733 我這裡不常有訪客來 143 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,610 不,我喜歡這裡的氛圍 144 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,446 成堆的信件、衣服 145 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,616 成堆的鞋子、電線 146 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:59,248 我的布置美學融合了學生宿舍跟廉價旅館 147 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,624 別這樣說,這裡很不錯 148 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,544 我也不常受邀到別人的公寓裡 149 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,421 我都沒做任何事讓這裡漂亮一些 150 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,924 我花了一個月想著要弄個主題牆面 151 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,301 但當我逛油漆網站時 152 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,304 他們的種類多到我無法選擇 153 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:18,392 真是的,做就對了 把握機會讓生活更精彩,親愛的 154 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,480 說不定你是那對房產兄弟 失聯已久的第三個兄弟 155 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,274 房產兄弟是誰? 156 00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,818 他們的節目讓人欲罷不能 157 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,902 就是說啊 158 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,865 看,他們讓那個破廚房 煥然一新,值得讚賞 159 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,952 我賭10美元,那個丈夫會哭 160 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,288 我一毛錢也沒有,但我願意跟妳賭 161 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,375 該死 162 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,294 不,這是種套路 163 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:48,922 那個充滿男子氣概、不信這套的丈夫 164 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,549 會在他們丟掉他的皮沙發 165 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:54,720 並換上舊家人照片 和組合式沙發時大為感動 166 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,598 哇,妳對這節目很瞭解 167 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,101 我有很專門的知識 168 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,814 想吃甜點嗎? 169 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:10,444 我可不會拒絕,今晚很棒 170 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,823 我是說,妳很棒 171 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:22,414 你對每個用腳踏車籃子綁架你的女孩 都這麼說吧 172 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,796 你確定要睡在浴缸裡嗎? 173 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,341 怎麼?妳要邀請我睡妳的床? 174 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,552 我是個混蛋,但沒那麼壞 175 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,848 你希望水多熱? 176 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,808 室溫就好 177 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,603 我知道妳喜歡成堆的東西 178 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,648 但那些四處都是的海報是怎麼回事? 179 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,986 我之前替人助選過 180 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:56,323 我搬來這裡,然後… 181 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,618 我不知道你關不關心政治 182 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,913 不能投票的鴨子不太會關心政治 183 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,625 我們當時就是在努力改善這部分,投票率 184 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:12,214 總之,我的候選人輸了 185 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:17,094 現在我被困在丹佛,努力讓生活回歸正軌 186 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,680 -那有用嗎? -什麼? 187 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,223 填補空虛 188 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,104 不,但能讓我暫時轉移注意力 189 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,815 有點像加入邪教 190 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,402 但妳之後就決定 “去他的政治,我要當醫師” 191 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,905 這會很像精神分裂嗎? 192 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,491 不…只是感覺妳在經歷一段旅程 193 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,785 我覺得我當醫師可以幫助更多人 194 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,705 比當個政策專家有用一些 195 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,374 妳這樣實在太沒有自主性了 196 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,543 什麼意思? 197 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,212 意思是妳太為他人著想 198 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:54,590 甚至犧牲了自己的快樂 199 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,091 我的觀察啦 200 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,179 你總是這麼敏銳嗎? 201 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,806 老實說,這是個天賦也是詛咒 202 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,185 不,這是種全新感受 203 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,980 我常常去約會 204 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:16,862 沒開玩笑,這些男人 要不是問些無聊又隨便的問題 205 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,780 就是只講自己的事 206 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,866 完全沒有交流 207 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,367 真慘 208 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,373 你有沒有曾經懷疑… 209 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,919 是不是自己的問題? 210 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,464 因為跟我約會的這些人 211 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:39,301 就好像超市裡爛掉的水果 212 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,928 他們顯然不完美 213 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,848 但我總覺得… 214 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,773 “等等,是不是我也很爛 只是我沒察覺?” 215 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,318 在我看來,妳一點問題也沒有 216 00:12:58,487 --> 00:12:59,530 你又不瞭解我 217 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:04,201 我知道妳是個很棒的女人 值得擁有的比妳所想的更多 218 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,751 水應該好了 219 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,132 太好了,我在馬桶上快冷死了 220 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,307 能幫我一下嗎? 221 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,172 你真討厭 222 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,799 嚇到了吧 223 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:03,802 嘿,想進來嗎? 224 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,388 讓妳暖和些 225 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:12,769 -那我會裸著身體 -我也是裸著身體,別雙重標準 226 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:37,604 真的不用我幫忙嗎? 227 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,941 不用,我說了這是驚喜 228 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,332 這是我們第一次約會時 229 00:15:57,416 --> 00:16:01,295 吃的所有東西 當時還不知道那是個約會呢 230 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,380 只是我弄得更高級一些 231 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,048 例如,我沒有放貝果 232 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,178 而是做了這個酸種麵包 233 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,345 我為什麼要吃那個? 234 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,641 我不是在開玩笑 235 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,728 等等,什麼? 236 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,731 我得跟妳說多少次我不喜歡麵包? 237 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,066 我以為只有貝果 238 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,736 不,是所有麵包,沒有鴨子喜歡麵包 239 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,280 千萬不要拿麵包餵鴨子 240 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:31,450 事實上,麵包會在我們胃裡膨脹 並害死我們 241 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:34,745 我想妳上網搜尋時沒看到這個吧? 242 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,538 -賴瑞 -怎樣? 243 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,000 -怎麼回事? -沒事 244 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,084 只是實話實說 245 00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:47,007 妳也別吃澱粉類食物了,只是提醒一下 246 00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:01,605 嘿 247 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:03,607 嘿 248 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:06,902 我是個混蛋 249 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,070 的確 250 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,281 我能不能… 251 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,705 妳是我一生中遇過最美好的事物 252 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,417 而我顯然太害怕失去妳了 253 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:28,882 所以我才會自作孽,我很討厭自己這樣 254 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,762 但我愛妳 255 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,725 -是嗎? -當然 256 00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,686 這是令我發瘋的原因之一 257 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,441 你脾氣好差 258 00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:48,110 我爸的脾氣更差 259 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:50,654 我不喜歡這點 260 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,738 我並不完美 261 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:56,577 我有時會很衝動,而我無法完全控制 262 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,329 也許是某種天性 263 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:02,666 但我…會努力改進,好嗎?為了妳 264 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:10,007 我可以跟妳一起坐嗎?我…想待在妳身旁 265 00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,184 很好 266 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,232 -抱歉,是莉莉 -妳接吧 267 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,239 我們和好了嗎? 268 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,451 因為這個後院就像皇宮一樣 269 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,619 而妳是我的女王 270 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:41,997 妳在想些什麼?妳…可惡 271 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,749 妳想把我送回公園去,我就知道 272 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,043 我想我們需要造個水景 273 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,548 像是小噴泉、噴水口,一點療癒的擺設 274 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:53,550 太棒了 275 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,612 妳消失去哪了? 276 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,239 妳好 277 00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,992 妳上禮拜都沒接我的電話 要是我要生孩子了怎麼辦? 278 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:22,663 -天啊,我都沒想到那點 -妳還好嗎? 279 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,289 很好啊,我… 280 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:28,710 我有對象了 281 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,255 天啊,太好了 282 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,090 還順利嗎? 283 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,676 很順利,他很棒 284 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,177 只是… 285 00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,097 我們才剛開始 286 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,181 而且… 287 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:44,268 他有些複雜 288 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,520 -他結婚了? -沒有 289 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,604 天啊 290 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,400 我不太想說太多… 291 00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:54,444 不,好…你們才剛開始,是新戀情,我懂 292 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,280 要知道我很替妳高興 293 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,740 而且他最好明白自己有多幸運 否則我會痛扁他 294 00:19:58,824 --> 00:19:59,825 謝了,莉莉 295 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,578 現在要檢查妳的子宮頸 296 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,496 -那是誰?妳在哪裡? -我來做產檢 297 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,040 看這個過重的寶寶 能不能順利通過我的陰道 298 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:08,792 去吧,我們等會再聊 299 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:19,887 賴瑞? 300 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:29,980 妳好 301 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,190 搞什麼鬼? 302 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,649 妳說妳很快就回來 303 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,484 我只出去了幾個小時 304 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,695 看來我們對“很快”的定義不同 305 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:41,200 你在整個屋子裡四處拉屎 306 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,368 妳把後門鎖住了,所以我不能到外面去 307 00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:44,453 我還能怎麼辦呢? 308 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:47,539 什麼?不對,等等,別怪到我頭上 309 00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:49,208 我沒有怪妳,只是說兩句 310 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,377 你是個混蛋 311 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,421 而妳很喜歡我這點 312 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:57,925 你在我醫學院入學考試的書上拉屎 313 00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,094 我在所有東西上拉屎,別想太多 314 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:04,681 是我想太多?我瘋了? 315 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,017 這不代表什麼? 316 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,436 嘿,那是妳說的,不是我 317 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:14,525 嘿 318 00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,529 我們現在是怎樣? 319 00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:19,613 妳指的是什麼? 320 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,323 這段關係很不健康 321 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,493 誰在乎健不健康?那多無聊 322 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,245 健康的關係不會讓人心累 323 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:28,747 現在這樣我很心累 324 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,707 妳信任我嗎? 325 00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:37,005 -老實說,現在不信任 -好吧 326 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:40,467 為什麼這麼問? 327 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,803 我想試試看一些方式,如果行不通 328 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,137 那妳可以再也不用理我 329 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:45,222 好嗎? 330 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,517 但我需要妳信任我 至少在接下來的一小時內 331 00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:52,938 -好吧 -很好 332 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,815 脫掉褲子然後躺下 333 00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:58,235 現在? 334 00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,446 -躺在地上? -還滿乾淨的 335 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,448 對吧? 336 00:22:04,074 --> 00:22:05,784 妳為其他人付出太多了 337 00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,160 妳也為我付出太多了 338 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:10,163 所以,我也想為妳做點事 339 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,234 什麼? 340 00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,577 天啊 341 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,593 天啊 342 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:05,928 天啊 343 00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:25,906 該死 344 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:35,999 可惡 345 00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:39,002 可惡 346 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:43,549 可惡… 347 00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:53,183 -我太晚來了嗎? -還用問嗎? 348 00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:55,936 拜託,我犯了個愚蠢的錯 349 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:58,522 是,我很抱歉,妳得重新報名11月的考試 350 00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,566 等等,那是三個月後了 351 00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:02,776 誰知道我還會不會… 352 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:06,655 妳沒事吧? 353 00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:17,374 嘿,今天可是個大日子呢 354 00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:19,585 考得怎麼樣? 355 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:23,338 -我沒去考試 -怎麼回事? 356 00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,386 我忘記了 357 00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:33,307 我忘記醫學院入學考試了 358 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:34,391 妳…什麼? 359 00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:37,853 我讀了好幾個月的書 360 00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:41,940 最後卻搞砸了 361 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:44,067 寶貝,我很遺憾 362 00:24:44,151 --> 00:24:45,152 不對 363 00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,070 也許這反而是好事 364 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:48,197 怎麼說? 365 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,158 妳現在多了很多時間 366 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,911 能去思考妳真正想做什麼 367 00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:56,663 我想當醫師 368 00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,458 妳之前也以為自己想從政 369 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,836 妳常常改變心意,雖說這不是壞事 370 00:25:03,504 --> 00:25:05,339 我好想躲進一個洞裡 371 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:09,134 我會陪妳一起躲進去,好嗎? 372 00:25:12,179 --> 00:25:13,931 妳開始叫外賣了? 373 00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:20,771 是誰? 374 00:25:21,939 --> 00:25:25,150 天啊,妳已經一個月 沒回我的電話跟簡訊了 375 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,235 我以為妳死了 376 00:25:26,318 --> 00:25:27,528 妳跑來做什麼? 377 00:25:27,611 --> 00:25:29,404 我挺著這麼大的孕肚 378 00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:32,282 在這麼熱的天氣開了一整天的車 379 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:34,368 就為了來看妳到底發生了什麼事 380 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,537 現在快讓我進去,然後… 381 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:37,996 讓我喝杯水 382 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,499 等一下,我馬上下樓 383 00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,917 -等我一下 -他在妳家嗎? 384 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,669 不,我要下樓了,等我一下 385 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,716 我要出去幾個小時 386 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,886 妳知道要是妳離開那麼久,我會很焦慮 387 00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:55,514 我姊姊在樓下 388 00:25:56,807 --> 00:25:58,225 而我不能讓她進來,所以我… 389 00:25:58,308 --> 00:25:59,309 為什麼不能? 390 00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:03,397 嘿,為什麼不能? 391 00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:13,866 妳根本不喜歡妳姊姊 392 00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:15,492 才不是那樣 393 00:26:15,576 --> 00:26:17,911 別自欺欺人了,那正是妳搬來這裡的原因 394 00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:20,581 為了躲避她和她對妳的意見 395 00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,426 我只是想出去透透氣 396 00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:37,222 妳現在開始無視我了 397 00:26:37,306 --> 00:26:39,099 我會替你加熱些吃的 398 00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:41,059 -別裝傻 -我沒有 399 00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:42,561 蠢賤人 400 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:47,858 -這不好笑 -我沒開玩笑 401 00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:50,694 -別那樣罵我 -那就別做欠罵的事 402 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:54,823 我要出門一下 403 00:26:56,158 --> 00:26:58,285 不要在我不在時到處拉屎 404 00:26:58,368 --> 00:26:59,703 搞什麼鬼? 405 00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:05,876 我流血了 406 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:07,336 真可憐,妳割傷自己了 407 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921 是你割傷了我 408 00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:10,631 很遺憾妳這麼認為 409 00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:16,386 蔥油餅看起來很好吃 410 00:27:18,222 --> 00:27:19,223 妳的臉怎麼了? 411 00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:22,184 什麼? 412 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,647 我割傷自己了 413 00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:29,858 親愛的,我們可以等等再點餐嗎? 414 00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:31,818 我真的很擔心妳 415 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:34,404 我說了我沒事,妳不用把我當作小孩子 416 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:36,865 聽好,我很高興妳有對象了 417 00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:38,909 但一個好男友不會阻止妳過自己的生活 418 00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:40,744 他沒有阻止我過自己的生活,莉莉 419 00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:46,750 他讓我跟妳保持距離 而那讓我的生活變好了 420 00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:50,504 妳總是催促我去約會 421 00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:53,215 還問我未來的計畫 422 00:27:53,298 --> 00:27:55,676 我只是希望妳能找到讓妳快樂的事 423 00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:57,803 但妳看,就連妳這句話都讓我不舒服 424 00:27:58,303 --> 00:27:59,721 也許我現在就很快樂 425 00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:01,974 那很好,至少我們倆有一個是快樂的 426 00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,101 妳不快樂嗎? 427 00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:06,103 當然不 428 00:28:06,687 --> 00:28:09,231 這個寶寶是意外懷上的 429 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,942 我跟安德魯很少上床,所以我們都很驚訝 430 00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:15,070 無論如何,她會出生,而我會很愛她 431 00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:17,364 但我真的很希望能回到懷孕前的狀態 432 00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:18,574 還有懷孕前的生活 433 00:28:22,536 --> 00:28:23,745 我錯過醫學院入學考試了 434 00:28:23,829 --> 00:28:24,913 什麼?為什麼? 435 00:28:25,497 --> 00:28:27,749 我想我不是當醫師的料 436 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,084 妳在說什麼? 437 00:28:29,168 --> 00:28:31,879 我總是三心二意 438 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:35,465 我會不斷質疑自己的選擇 439 00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:37,551 我連自己都照顧不好 440 00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:40,053 我憑什麼認為我有能耐去照顧別人? 441 00:28:40,137 --> 00:28:41,763 什麼?不,少胡說了 442 00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:44,349 妳是我所認識最聰明、最有愛心的人 443 00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:47,227 爸當初生病時,妳整個過程都陪著他 444 00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:49,771 詢問所有關鍵的問題,比我做得好多了 445 00:28:49,855 --> 00:28:52,274 因為我那時單身,而且跟他相依為命 446 00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:54,985 不,是因為妳是個善良的人 447 00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:58,030 妳是個很棒的人 448 00:28:58,655 --> 00:28:59,907 是他讓妳有這種想法嗎? 449 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:06,496 聽好,如果這傢伙讓妳貶低自己 450 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:09,499 我發誓,我會去殺了他 451 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:12,252 他們大可把我這孕婦關在牢裡 我可沒在開玩笑 452 00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:21,762 不,我們點餐吧 453 00:29:29,770 --> 00:29:32,439 拜託不要在開車回家的路上生孩子 454 00:29:32,523 --> 00:29:34,441 要是我真的在路上生了,那都怪妳 455 00:29:36,485 --> 00:29:37,486 我愛妳 456 00:29:38,612 --> 00:29:39,696 要接我電話 457 00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:45,285 (萬里長城餐廳) 458 00:30:06,723 --> 00:30:07,891 感謝你過來 459 00:30:07,975 --> 00:30:10,018 -艾莉莎? -我不知道還能打給誰 460 00:30:16,608 --> 00:30:18,694 嘿,小傢伙 461 00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:22,447 這個鬍子男來這裡做什麼? 誰讓你進來的? 462 00:30:23,782 --> 00:30:25,951 哇,有人很生氣呢 463 00:30:26,034 --> 00:30:28,120 別擔心,我不會傷到你 464 00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:32,082 如果這傲慢的蠢貨 以為自己可以靠頭腦贏過我… 465 00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:35,836 艾莉莎,親愛的,艾莉莎 妳這愚蠢的醜賤人 466 00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:38,338 這…是妳的主意嗎?妳這背叛人的婊子 467 00:30:38,422 --> 00:30:39,965 這鴨子話可真多 468 00:30:40,048 --> 00:30:41,508 好了,混蛋,離我遠點 469 00:30:41,592 --> 00:30:42,593 -好 -艾莉莎 470 00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:44,845 這裡,好耶 471 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:46,555 好了 472 00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:51,768 搞定,該走了 473 00:30:51,852 --> 00:30:54,188 我不走,這…是我的公寓 474 00:30:54,271 --> 00:30:56,690 艾莉莎,我會他媽殺了妳 475 00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:04,615 (動物管制) 476 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:06,700 -嗨 -嗨 477 00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:09,119 再次感謝你 478 00:31:09,203 --> 00:31:11,455 不客氣,本來就是我的工作 479 00:31:13,165 --> 00:31:16,502 天啊,真抱歉,我應該付你錢嗎? 480 00:31:16,585 --> 00:31:19,296 不用,這是市政服務,我領市府薪水的 481 00:31:20,464 --> 00:31:23,926 我只是想確認妳沒事 482 00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:26,428 妳剛才似乎嚇壞了 483 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:29,139 是啊 484 00:31:33,894 --> 00:31:36,146 跟那隻鴨子相處不容易 485 00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:38,524 沒錯 486 00:31:38,607 --> 00:31:42,819 牠們是習性莫名凶猛的動物 487 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:45,197 人們都覺得牠們很可愛,很想抱抱牠們 488 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,200 但牠們其實壞得要命 489 00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:50,327 尤其是公鴨 490 00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:52,955 我很驚訝妳能養牠這麼久 491 00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:55,874 人的忍耐力有時很驚人 492 00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:00,379 妳有讀過那篇文章嗎? 我記得是《紐約客》雜誌上的 493 00:32:00,462 --> 00:32:04,216 關於鴨子如何交配以及牠們的父權體制 494 00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:07,719 有些內容真的很令人震驚 495 00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,974 抱歉,我不是什麼怪胎,我保證 496 00:32:12,057 --> 00:32:15,602 我只是個喜歡科學的書呆子 497 00:32:17,104 --> 00:32:18,188 -妳也是? -沒錯 498 00:32:18,272 --> 00:32:19,273 什麼? 499 00:32:19,356 --> 00:32:20,816 -對 -原來如此,看啊 500 00:32:20,899 --> 00:32:22,067 妳什麼時候要考醫學院? 501 00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,361 幾個月後 502 00:32:24,444 --> 00:32:27,614 而我正在努力把注意力放回書本中 503 00:32:28,907 --> 00:32:30,826 妳要搭便車到公園嗎? 504 00:32:30,909 --> 00:32:32,119 反正我得把那混蛋 505 00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:33,579 -放回池塘,所以… -不用… 506 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,040 看看那小傢伙 507 00:32:37,124 --> 00:32:40,878 我想我…應該待在有人群的地方 508 00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:43,338 所以我會找個咖啡廳 509 00:32:43,422 --> 00:32:46,508 如果妳在經歷這一切後還想養寵物 就養隻狗吧 510 00:32:46,592 --> 00:32:47,968 我這裡有兩隻被救援的狗 511 00:32:48,051 --> 00:32:51,221 一隻叫州長,但其實要叫牠老大 512 00:32:51,305 --> 00:32:53,807 另一隻叫艾索福里 都在我家,牠們超棒的 513 00:32:56,685 --> 00:32:57,728 我現在… 514 00:32:58,395 --> 00:33:01,190 還不太想再照顧另一個生命 515 00:33:03,609 --> 00:33:05,027 除了我自己以外 516 00:33:06,737 --> 00:33:11,700 好吧,如果妳又遇上失控的動物事件 517 00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:13,619 記得找我幫忙 518 00:33:15,996 --> 00:33:19,791 或者,如果妳想喝一杯,也可以找我 519 00:33:23,545 --> 00:33:25,631 我才剛結束一段關係 520 00:33:27,049 --> 00:33:28,717 就在五秒鐘前 521 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,511 不,我明白,太快了 522 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:33,764 沒關係,好吧 523 00:33:38,477 --> 00:33:40,562 嘿,要不這樣吧 524 00:33:40,646 --> 00:33:43,774 我可以過幾個月後打給妳嗎? 525 00:33:44,441 --> 00:33:46,735 在妳的醫學院入學考試之後? 526 00:33:47,277 --> 00:33:50,197 除非妳到時已經遇上某個不錯的醫師了 527 00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:54,952 我不需要遇上什麼不錯的醫師 528 00:33:55,953 --> 00:33:58,539 因為我自己就會是個不錯的醫師 529 00:34:25,315 --> 00:34:27,234 (改編自西西莉雅艾亨著作) 530 00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,300 字幕翻譯:翁乙玄