- LISTEN, PRINCIPAL TAYLOR ASKED ME
TO COME HERE AND SPICE IT UP,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO.
- YOU DON'T LIKE HOW I'M DIRECTING THE PLAY,
CROSBY, THAT'S FINE.
YOU SPICE IT UP HOWEVER YOU LIKE.
- HAVE YOU MET UNCLE ADAM'S BOSS?
HER BOYFRIEND OR WHATEVER?
- HE'S ACTUALLY OKAY.
- THINK THEY'RE, LIKE, HAVING SEX?
- WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. - GORDON WANTS ME
TO FIRE SEVEN PEOPLE SO WE DON'T GO UNDER.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MY ART TEACHER?
- I WENT TO YOUR LITTLE PORTUGUESE POUND CAKE
AND I TOLD HIM TO STAY AWAY FROM WHAT'S MINE.
- ALL THIS TIME IN THERAPY,
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED.
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT.
[alarm beeping]
- DEAR GOD.
- AH, THERE'S MY GIRL.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- THANKS. THIS IS QUITE THE BATTLE ZONE.
- YEAH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING MY SOUS CHEF TODAY.
- WELL, I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I COULD HAVE HAD ANYBODY HELP ME.
I HAD A LOT OF OFFERS.
- YEAH, NOW YOU'RE JUST BUTTERING ME UP.
- NO, IT'S BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING
AND YOU'RE GOOD UNDER PRESSURE AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL,
YOU DO WHAT I SAY.
- THERE IT IS.
- IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
I PROMISE.
OKAY, SO NOW LET'S GO OVER THE PLAN.
THIS IS--THIS IS JUST THE FOOD ASSIGNMENTS.
HERE IS THE OVEN SCHEDULE.
- THERE'S AN OVEN SCHEDULE? - ABSOLUTELY.
WE ONLY HAVE ONE OVEN. SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SCHEDULE.
SO, OKAY, THE TURKEY JUST WENT IN.
IT COMES OUT AT 11:00.
THEN THE SQUASH GOES IN AND THE SWEET POTATOES.
- RENEE, I AM SO EXCITED YOU'RE JOINING US.
YOU HAVE NOT LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE EXPERIENCED
A BRAVERMAN THANKSGIVING.
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME, CROSBY.
- IS IT GONNA BE FUN?
- IT'S GONNA BE THE BEST TIME
YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE.
WE'RE GONNA EAT TILL WE ALMOST THROW UP,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GET ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD
AND SMASH INTO EACH OTHER.
- JABBAR, WE MIGHT NOT BE THERE FOR THE GAME.
- THAT'S NOT TRUE. - MA, COME ON.
- HONEY, WE MIGHT NOT-- WE MIGHT NOT STILL BE THERE.
- NO, YOU HAVE TO BE THERE FOR THE FOOTBALL GAME.
- OH, WHOA, YOU MADE PIE?
- YOU SOUND LIKE THAT'S A BAD THING.
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T LIKE PIE.
- I LIKE PIE.
IT'S JUST MY MOM MADE A LIST,
AND I THINK YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE STUFFING.
- I KNOW. I SAW THE LIST.
THERE'S THE STUFFING. HERE'S PIE.
- BUT, UM, HERE'S THE THING,
MY SISTER WAS OFFICIALLY ON PIE DUTY PER THE LIST.
AND SHE GETS A LITTLE INTENSE DURING THANKSGIVING.
- CROSBY, IT'S THANKSGIVING. THIS IS OUR FAMILY TRADITION.
WE ALWAYS HAVE SWEET POTATO PIE AND MINCEMEAT.
IS THAT A PROBLEM? - THAT IS NOT A PROBLEM.
THE MORE PIES, THE MERRIER. - [laughs]
OKAY.
- SNOOPY COMING DOWN THE STREET.
- OH, AND WOODSTOCK, I SEE, IS NOT FAR BEHIND.
- OKAY. [mixer running]
- MOMMY, WE CAN'T HEAR!
- SORRY, SWEETHEART, IT'S JUST ONE MORE MINUTE.
- IT'S HUGE.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAS, LIKE-- - OH, COME ON.
- IT'S--IT'S A BALLOON THOUGH. - YEAH.
- IT'S SO HIGH.
MOMMY, LOOK. IT'S SNOOPY.
- THAT'S AWESOME, SWEETHEART. LEMON JUICE.
- NOT EVEN LOOKING. - LEMON JUICE. LEMON JUICE.
I'M LOOKING SWEETHEART. - I'M HUNGRY.
- I KNOW, SWEETHEART.
CAN YOU GIVE ME A SECOND HERE 'CAUSE I--
[gasps] OH, SYDNEY!
- OH, BOY. - I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
- NO, YOU JUST-- - IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
- YOU CAN'T DISTRACT ME WHEN I'M WORKING.
THAT WAS MY RUM RAISIN.
- I DIDN'T MEAN TO. - OKAY. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
- UH, YOU KNOW, WE STILL GOT THE APPLE.
- MOM'S GONNA KILL ME.
I'M GONNA... - OKAY.
- OKAY. YOU GUYS GO, OKAY? I GOT THIS.
- YEP. - LET'S GO, SWEETHEART.
- AH, THE HOLIDAYS. LET'S GO. COME ON.
- [sighs]
- HEY, ADAM, THANKS FOR COMING IN
ON THANKSGIVING.
THERE'S SOMETHING I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
- YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON, GORDON?
- UM...
I'VE DECIDED TO SELL THE COMPANY.
- OKAY, LISTEN, GORDON, I KNOW THAT THINGS HAVE BEEN ROUGH
AND YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT SELLING THE COMPANY FOR--
- IT'S SOLD. LAST NIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU JUST TALKED TO THESE GUYS AND THEN YOU JUST...
SOLD THE COMPANY IN ONE NIGHT?
- OBVIOUSLY NOT.
IT CLOSED LAST NIGHT. - RIGHT. RIGHT.
BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR MONTHS.
THAT'S WHY YOU HAD ME FIRE THOSE SEVEN PEOPLE
TO MAKE THE COMPANY MORE ATTRACTIVE FOR A SALE.
- IT'S MY COMPANY. - YEAH, IT IS YOUR COMPANY.
AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR 15 YEARS--
FOR OVER 15 YEARS.
AND EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A STAKE IN THE COMPANY,
WHICH, YOU KNOW WHAT, MY MISTAKE YEARS AGO,
BUT I WOULD THINK THAT I WOULD AT LEAST
BE IN THE LOOP ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
- WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKED OUT.
- DID YOU TELL ANYBODY ELSE? - NO.
- TELL SARAH? - NOBODY.
IT'S TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL UNTIL THE DEAL'S ANNOUNCED.
I DIDN'T WANT IT TO GET OUT ON THE STREET
AND HAVE YOU FIND OUT FROM SOMEBODY ELSE.
I WANTED YOU TO HEAR IT FROM ME.
I FIGURED THAT I AT LEAST OWED YOU THAT.
AND I ALSO DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE, YOU KNOW,
AWKWARD LATER.
- LATER? - AT DINNER.
- UH, WHAT DINNER? MY FAMILY'S DINNER?
- THANKSGIVING.
SARAH INVITED ME OVER FOR THAN--
YEAH. SARAH INVITED ME OVER FOR THANKSGIVING.
SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GOING TO TELL YOU.
- NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME. I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
- WELL, I WAS INVITED.
- SO, UH, IF THAT'S IT...
- LISTEN, I'M REALLY HOPING THAT WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS.
- HEY, GORDON, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU WOULDN'T COME TO MY FAMILY'S
THANKSGIVING DINNER.
- WELL, YOUR FAMILY'S EXPECTING ME.
- WELL, MONDAY MORNING,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO COME HERE AND FACE OUR STAFF
AND LET THEM KNOW THE COMPANY'S BEEN SOLD,
'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA HANDLE THAT.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
- SO I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY HOLIDAY
WITH MY FAMILY.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- ♪ MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALWAYS ♪
♪ AND MAY YOUR WISHES ALL COME TRUE ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS DO FOR OTHERS ♪
♪ AND LET OTHERS DO FOR YOU
♪ MAY YOU BUILD A LADDER TO THE STARS ♪
♪ AND CLIMB ON EVERY RUNG
♪ AND MAY YOU STAY
♪ FOREVER YOUNG
♪ MAY YOU GROW UP TO BE RIGHTEOUS ♪
♪ MAY YOU GROW UP TO BE TRUE ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW THE TRUTH ♪
♪ AND SEE THE LIGHTS SURROUNDING YOU ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS BE COURAGEOUS ♪
♪ STAND UPRIGHT AND BE STRONG ♪
♪ AND MAY YOU STAY
♪ FOREVER YOUNG
♪ MAY YOU STAY
♪ FOREVER YOUNG
- HONEY, I DON'T-- I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
JUST--THIS IS-- WE'RE GONNA BE FINE.
IT'S JUST--
- YOU KNOW WHAT... - WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
I AM NOT GONNA LET THIS RUIN OUR DAY.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- AND WE ARE GONNA HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- YES, WE ARE. - MOM, DAD, LOOK. LOOK.
HADDIE HELPED ME MAKE A SPREADSHEET FOR ALL THE--
FOR THE THANKSGIVING FOOTBALL STUFF.
LOOK. - HEY.
- THE TURKEY BOWL.
NOW WE'RE TALKING. - THAT'S RIGHT.
- ...PASSES AND RUNS.
- THAT'S VERY COOL, MAX.
AND THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOUR SISTER TO HELP YOU.
- VERY, VERY NICE. - NO BIG DEAL.
DO YOU NEED HELP COOKING OR CUTTING THIS CANTALOUPE?
- YEAH. YOU WANT TO HELP ME? - YEAH. WHAT?
- NOTHING, YOU JUST SEEM LIKE YOU'RE
IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD THESE DAYS.
MAKES ME HAPPY.
- VERY NICE.
- IS IT JUST BECAUSE I'M CUTTING CANTALOUPE
ON THANKSGIVING?
- WELL, THAT AND FIVE DAYS OF NO SARCASM.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, DON'T JINX IT. SHE'S HELPING.
- I JUST CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.
- THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED HERE. - ALL RIGHT.
LET'S CHECK OUT THESE STATS.
- YOUR TASTE BUDS JUST AREN'T DEVELOPED YET.
- HAPPY THANKSGIVING. - HI, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- IT ALREADY SMELLS SOOO GOOD.
- WHOA. NO, NO, NO. UH-UH.
- SWEETIE, WILL YOU PASS ME THAT HERB MIXTURE?
NEVER MIND, I GOT IT. - YUCK. GROSS.
- WHERE'S DAD? - UM, IN THE BARN.
AVOIDING HELPING OUT.
- I WANTED TO ASK YOU GUYS SOMETHING.
UM, YOU KNOW, MY FRIEND GORDON DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
FOR THANKSGIVING SO I SAID IT WOULD PROBABLY BE OKAY
IF HE CAME TO OURS.
THAT'S OKAY?
- SURE. - MOM. COME ON.
- NO, NO, UH,
I'LL JUST, UH, ADJUST THE SEATING ARRANGEMENT.
WE'LL SQUEEZE HIM IN, RIGHT? YOU LIKE HIM.
- OH, LOVE HIM. WHAT A SWEETHEART.
I'D MARRY HIM MYSELF IF I COULD.
- HE'S REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU.
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST KIND OF WEIRD. IT'S UNCLE ADAM'S BOSS.
- HE'S A NICE GUY. HE'S MY BOSS TOO.
- STILL WEIRD. - I KNOW. UM...
- YEAH, WELL, I'LL JUST MAKE, UM, I'LL JUST MAKE
ANOTHER PLACE CARD.
- THANKS.
- HEY. - HEY.
I JUST HAD TO GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN.
IT'S CRAZY. - OH, YEAH.
THE HENS ARE CLUCKING, HUH?
HERE, YOU CAN PUMP THIS FOOTBALL UP.
THERE'S THE PUMP. HAVE AT IT.
- ♪ HOW'S ABOUT A CUP
♪ OF COFFEE, OKAY TEA, THAT'S FINE WITH ME ♪
- HEY, UH, DREW,
CAN I, UH, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
- YEAH. - YEAH?
- YEAH. - OKAY.
IT'S, UH, IT'S KIND OF LIKE, UH, MAN TO MAN, YOU KNOW?
IT'S GOTTA BE CONFIDENTIAL.
BUT I NEED YOU TO BE VERY HONEST.
- YEAH, I WILL. - OKAY.
LET'S SAY THAT YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND.
- I DON'T. BUT YEAH.
- IT'S HYPOTHETICAL. - OKAY.
- LET'S SAY THAT YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND
AND THE GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON YOU.
BUT, UH, YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.
AND YOU WERE MAD. - YEAH.
- BUT YOU FIGURED OUT A WAY TO WORK THROUGH IT,
YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU COULD STAY TOGETHER.
- MM-HMM. - YOU WITH ME SO FAR?
- YEAH.
- ANYWAY, SHE WANTS TO TAKE AN ART CLASS.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND. - OKAY.
- AND SHE WANTS TO TAKE IT FROM THE GUY SHE CHEATED WITH.
OKAY? - OKAY.
- SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
WOULD YOU SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE?
I MEAN, JUST LET IT GO?
OR WOULD YOU GO TALK TO THE...GUY...MAN TO MAN?
- I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM. DEFINITELY.
- RIGHT. - YEAH.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T HIM SEDUCING HER
WITH HIS BAD HOTEL ART.
- RIGHT. - YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT'S WHY YOU WERE OUT HERE.
AVOIDING GRANDMA, RIGHT?
- VOILA.
- STAND BACK. OH! - WHOO-HOO.
- HEY, HEY.
- SHE'S BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS PART.
- TEENAGER WITH A BLOWTORCH. IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
- HEY-O! A-TEAM'S HERE. - HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
[greetings]
- OH, SOMEBODY'S IN A SUIT.
- SO WHERE IS THAT OUTSPOKEN HUSBAND OF YOURS?
- ZEEK? HE'S OUT IN THE BARN GETTING DRUNK AS USUAL.
- HE'S NOT. THAT'S A JOKE.
UM, MOM, RENEE MADE STUFFING.
UH, WHICH WAS ON THE LIST.
AND THEN ALSO MADE SOME-- A COUPLE PIES.
- SWEET POTATO. MINCEMEAT.
IT'S LIKE OUR FAMILY TRADITION.
- SO WE HAVE ONE OF EVERYTHING.
- YAY. OKAY.
SO I HOPE YOU HAVE ANOTHER APRON.
HERE, HONEY.
- UM, NO. THESE ARE OUR ONLY APRONS TODAY.
- WELL, THERE'S NO WAY I'M JUST GONNA STAND AROUND
AND WATCH SO, UH...
- NO, YOU'RE GONNA GO IN THE NEXT ROOM AND RELAX.
LOOK, APRON'S COMING OFF.
EVERYTHING'S PRETTY MUCH DONE.
- SHE WON'T LET ANYBODY HELP.
- YOU'RE SURE? - LET'S GO SEE THE GARDEN, MOM.
- NO, I MEAN, IT'S PRETTY SPECTACULAR.
YOU DO WANT TO SEE IT. [doorbell rings]
- GRANDMA! GRANDMA, WE'RE HERE! ARE THE M&M'S OUT YET?
THERE THEY ARE. THERE THEY ARE.
- HEY. - HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- HEY.
- HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - HI.
- HELLO. - NO, YOU'RE CRACKED.
WE CAN'T SEAT ADAM AND GORDON NEXT TO EACH OTHER
BECAUSE THEY WILL BORE EVERYONE
WITH THEIR TALK OF, YOU KNOW, WORK AND ME.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE SITTING ACROSS FROM JOEL
BECAUSE HE THINKS I STOLE THE PLAY FROM HIM.
- MOVE JOEL. PUT RENEE HERE. YOU AND JASMINE DOWN ON THE END.
- I WANT RENEE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
I CAN'T SIT HER WITH SURLY TEENAGERS.
- WE NEED MORE-- - OOH. KRISTINA.
- OH, SHE COULD SIT ANYWHERE. - WE USE HER AS A BUFFER.
SHE'S SWITZERLAND.
- YEAH, CAN WE CLONE HER
AND SIT HER NEXT TO ALL THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE?
- WOW, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
- WE NEED TO CLONE HER. - OH, NOTHING.
- NOTHING. - OH, PLACE CARD POLICE.
YOU GUYS ARE BUSTED. I'M GOING TO TELL MOM.
- JUST MAKING SURE EVERYONE'S NAME'S SPELLED RIGHT.
- DOES THAT SAY GORDON? - THIS? YES.
OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, GORDON'S COMING TO THANKSGIVING.
- YEAH, SARAH, I DON'T THINK HE'S COMING.
- NO, NO, I INVITED HIM LAST NIGHT.
I JUST FORGOT TO TELL YOU. SORRY.
- AND I SPOKE WITH HIM MORE RECENTLY AND I...
ASKED HIM NOT TO COME. [car pulls up outside]
- OH, ADAM, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
- THINGS HAVE BEEN REALLY INTENSE AT WORK
AND I DON'T WANT TO SPEND MY THANKSGIVING WITH THE GUY.
- IT'S NOT YOUR THANKSGIVING.
IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, HE'S MY DATE.
CAN'T YOU PUT THAT-- - GOD, HERE WE GO.
- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? - HEY, CHECK IT OUT.
IT'S A PORSCHE PANAMERA S. ARE YOU SEEING THIS, GUYS?
- HMM. IN A PORSCHE. I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT COULD BE.
- WELL, IT'S NOT MY PORSCHE. - IT'S NOT?
- NO. - I WONDER WHOSE IT IS.
- BOY, THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HOPING
IT IS HIM OR NOT HIM.
- MY MOTHER CAN BE TOUGH.
BUT FLATTERY WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.
TELL HER YOU LIKE HER GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE
AND YOU'LL BE IN.
- GOT IT.
- HEY, WHAT HAPPENED WITH ADAM?
HE TOLD ME THIS MORNING YOU WEREN'T COMING.
I WAS WORRIED. - IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
I'M HERE, RIGHT. - YES, YOU ARE.
LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE HERE.
- ALL RIGHT, BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S NICE TO SARAH TO NOT BE ALONE
FOR ONCE ON THE HOLIDAYS.
YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT, RIGHT?
- YEAH, I KNOW THAT.
BUT THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON AT WORK
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
AND NOW, I JUST DON'T WANT HIM HERE.
HEY, I GOT THIS FOR YOU.
- YOU GOT ME SPARKLING CIDER? - YEAH.
YOU GUYS ARE STILL TRYING TO HAVE A BABY, RIGHT?
- YES, THANK YOU.
- IT'S NOT A BRAVERMAN THANKSGIVING
WITHOUT A LITTLE WINE.
GONNA BE A RED WINE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY.
- THANK YOU, I HOPE. - MORE SCOTCH.
YOUR BROTHER'S AN IDIOT.
- CUT THE GUY SOME SLACK, WOULD YOU?
HE'S JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS HIS FUTURE BROTHER-IN-LAW.
- AND, ACTUALLY, I THINK THIS IS ABOUT THE QUEST
FOR THE KINDERGARTEN PLAY.
IT'S KIND OF A BATTLE ROYALE.
- REALLY? - THE KINDERGARTEN PLAY.
- YOU HAVE A LITTLE TIFF WITH CROS?
- YEAH, BABY THINKS THAT CROSBY'S STOLEN IT FROM HIM.
- OH, DRAMA. BABY THINKS THAT CROSBY STOLEN IT FROM HIM.
- THANK YOU, HONEY.
THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME SOUND PETTY AT ALL.
- TELL YOU WHAT, YOU GUYS CAN SETTLE THIS
ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD, ALL RIGHT? HADDIE, COME HERE!
IT'S TIME FOR US TO COME UP
WITH SOME OF THOSE TRICK PLAYS.
- STATUE OF LIBERTY PLAY.
- I'M GONNA MAKE A ROUND. I'M GONNA MAKE A ROUND.
- BOY, DADDY'S LITTLE TOMBOY HAS JUST GROWN UP SO FAST.
- ALL RIGHT, SAVE IT FOR THE THEATER, SONDHEIM.
- HEY, WOULD YOU SLOW DOWN?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME.
- NO, I AM LISTENING, CROSBY, I MEAN, GOOD GOD.
THANK YOU.
I GOTTA TELL YOU, I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE MY SON.
AND I WOULD GIVE YOU MY KIDNEY IF I COULD.
BUT YOU'RE NOT CARVING THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW?
RENEE THINKS I'M SOME IRRESPONSIBLE KID.
AND I--LISTEN, DAD, I GOTTA BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.
- WELL, SO GET YOUR OWN HOUSE.
- WAIT, HEY, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?
- I'M SORRY, WHAT?
- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
- SON, A MAN HAS A CERTAIN RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIS THANKSGIVING BIRD.
OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT EXACTLY.
AND PLUS I PAID FOR THE DAMN THING,
SO I'M CARVING IT.
- WHOA, HEY, HEY, DAD, I WILL REIMBURSE YOU
FOR THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOUR BIRD.
WHAT ARE THEY, LIKE, $0.80 A POUND OR SOMETHING?
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- HOW DEEP ARE YOU INTO THIS BIRD?
- OH, GOSH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
REALLY? I MEAN, YOU REALLY WANT TO DO IT?
- I KNOW IT'S STUPID, BUT I--YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN CARVE MY BIRD.
- FOR REAL? - YEAH.
- THANK YOU. OH.
AND, UM, RENEE'S GONNA WANT TO HEAR SOME KIND OF A PRAYER
BEFORE DINNER STARTS.
SOMETHING RELIGIOUS OR OLD TESTAMENT.
I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING.
JUST A HEADS UP.
- ♪ WHAT IF THE WEATHER...
- YOU TWO ARE SLAVING AWAY IN HERE.
- YEAH. - IT'S GETTING CLOSE NOW.
- NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING? - NO.
- NO, I THINK WE'RE OKAY. - ALL RIGHT.
I'M JUST GOING TO POP THIS IN FOR A LITTLE BIT.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
- IT NEEDS TO START HEATING SO WE CAN--
- NO, NO. I'VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT YOU.
THERE'S AN OVEN SCHEDULE, MY FRIEND.
- YEAH, THERE'S AN OVEN SCHEDULE.
- OKAY, SO I'M ON IT FOR LATER. - YEAH, WE'LL SQUEEZE YOU IN.
- CAN I HAVE A SQUEEZER? - NO, SWEETIE.
IT'S ALMOST TIME TO EAT.
- BUT MAX IS HAVING THEM.
- I DON'T WANT YOU TO RUIN YOUR APPETITE, OKAY?
- MOMMY, I'M HUNGRY.
AND WHY CAN'T I HAVE ONE IF MAX IS HAVING ONE?
- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MAX IS DOING.
- IT'S NOT FAIR. I WANT A SQUEEZER.
- YOU'RE WELCOME, SWEETIE.
GOTTA CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES, RIGHT?
- MM-HMM.
- ♪ WHAT SORT OF SMILE DO YOU USE ♪
♪ TO FOOL TO FOOL? - RIGHT.
[soft chattering]
- I KNOW. JUST SAY HI REALLY QUICK.
UM, GORDON, HEY, I JUST WANTED YOU TO...
- HEY. - THIS IS DREW.
- DREW, HOW'S IT GOING? - NICE TO MEET YOU.
- ALL RIGHT, PLEASURE TO MEET YOU TOO.
WHAT'S GOING ON? HOW'S SCHOOL?
- UM, IT'S FINE. - REALLY?
- YEAH. - YOU, UH, YOU PLAYING BALL?
- NO, JUST SCHOOL. - YOU DID THOUGH.
YOU PLAYED BASEBALL. HEY, OH, LOOK.
IT'S MOM'S MEATBALLS. - THEY ARE MEATBALLS.
- WELL, I GOTTA-- GOTTA GO FIND GRANDPA.
- I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - OKAY.
- HI. - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS. - NICE TO SEE YOU.
OH, THANKS. YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD.
SO...I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE COMPANY.
- I--YEAH, I WOULD IMAGINE YOU WOULD.
- I JUST HOPE THAT YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.
- I-I THINK I DID.
- YEAH? - MM-HMM.
- OKAY.
- HE JUST WANTS TO CHANGE-- - EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND.
HEY, MAX, CAN YOU PLEASE REMEMBER TO SHARE?
- NO. I DON'T LIKE SHARING. - MAX.
- IT'S NOT FUN. - SHARE WITH THE YOUNGER KIDS.
- NO, I'M NOT SHARING. - SORRY.
- GENTLEMEN, LADIES, I'VE BEEN ASKED TO INVITE YOU IN.
- WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU CARVING UP
THE THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY?
WHAT'S UP? - YEAH? WHAT ABOUT IT?
- WELL, THAT'S MY JOB.
- TECHNICALLY, I THINK IT'S DAD'S JOB.
- YES. WELL, IN THE EVENT THAT THE PATRIARCH
CAN'T PERFORM HIS CARVING DUTY,
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT FALLS TO THE ELDEST SON,
WHICH WOULD BE ME.
- MM-HMM. THANKS FOR THE HIERARCHY LESSON.
- IT'S, LIKE, LAW.
- IF WE WERE HAVING THIS DINNER IN THE 1300s,
YEAH, THAT WOULD PROBABLY MAKE SENSE.
- YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE UNIVERSE.
- CROSBY TAKING OVER SOMETHING. THAT IS SHOCKING.
- YEAH. - CROSBY.
OH, COME ON, GOOSE, I ASKED YOU TO CALL EVERYBODY TOGETHER.
- YEAH, I'M TRYING, OKAY? THEY'RE NOT LISTENING.
- HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR DAD? CAN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE.
- SHE ASKED YOU TO CALL EVERYBODY TO DINNER.
WOULD YOU DO THAT, PLEASE?
YOU ARE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT TO HER.
- YOU PUT ME IN A BAD POSITION.
- SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE HER FAVORITE.
- HEY. - STILL AVOIDING GRANDMA?
- [laughs] - WAS THAT A YES?
- WELL, I'D LIKE TO USE YOUR COMPUTER
'CAUSE I GOTTA FIND A PRAYER.
IS THAT OKAY? - YEAH.
SO WHO ARE YOU AVOIDING? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- EVERYBODY'S DOWNSTAIRS HAVING FUN AND HERE YOU ARE
MR. SOLITARY.
- I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST MOM WITH THAT GUY.
- GORDON? - YEAH.
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD? - I DON'T KNOW.
HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY.
I MEAN, YOU WANT YOUR MOM TO BE HAPPY, DON'T YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW. SHE BARELY EVEN TOLD US HE WAS COMING.
AND NOW HE'S HERE AND IT'S ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
SHE BROUGHT SOME GUY WITH HER-- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S THANKSGIVING, YOU KNOW.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT FAMILY,
NOT WHO SHE'S DATING.
- HMM.
DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DAD?
- I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.
- GOSH, DREW, YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD, SETH,
HE GETS A BAD RAP AROUND THIS HOUSE A LOT, YOU KNOW.
AND I--I'M THE WORST OFFENDER.
I'M--I'M SORRY, YOU KNOW? I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT. - IT'S OKAY.
- NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. HE'S YOUR FATHER.
AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO MISS HIM
AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO LOVE HIM.
THERE'S NO SHAME IN THAT.
YOU KNOW, GRANDSON, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
YOU ARE AN EXTRAORDINARY YOUNG MAN.
THERE'S A DEPTH TO YOU THAT'S JUST TRULY REMARKABLE
FOR SOMEONE OF YOUR AGE.
I'M THERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ME, YOU KNOW.
- YEAH. YEAH.
- OKAY.
I CAN STILL DO THAT, CAN'T I?
- GO FOR IT. - [laughs]
- YOUR CALL HAS BEEN FORWARDED
TO AN AUTOMATIC VOICE MESSAGE SYSTEM.
[beep]
- YEAH, UH, SETH, ZEEK BRAVERMAN HERE.
LISTEN, UH, YOU'RE NOT THERE,
SO I'M GONNA LEAVE A MESSAGE.
YOU KNOW, LAST TIME YOU AND I TALKED,
UH, DIDN'T GO SO WELL,
AND WE DON'T HAVE THE GREATEST HISTORY TOGETHER,
SO, UH, I'M GONNA ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR.
YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR SON, SETH.
HE MISSES YOU. AND IT'S THANKSGIVING, YOU KNOW?
SO PLEASE, WOULD YOU GIVE HIM A CALL?
THANKS.
[glass tinkling] - TOAST.
- YEAH. CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR JUST A SECOND?
[chattering]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M GOING TO SAY A PRAYER. - SAYING A PRAYER?
- YEAH. I THOUGHT WE'D SAY A PRAYER.
- SERIOUSLY? - THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- COULD EVERYBODY PLEASE STAND AND LET'S SAY A PRAYER HERE?
- COME ON, THIS IS NICE. - THANKSGIVING. COME ON.
WE'RE GONNA SAY A PRAYER. JULIA, STAND UP.
- HOLD HANDS WITH ME. - WHY ARE WE STANDING?
- I DON'T KNOW. - WHY ARE WE STANDING?
- OKAY, HERE WE GO.
- HEY, UH, UH, WELL, DEAR FATHER,
I KNOW WE DON'T TALK MUCH, BUT IT'S A SPECIAL DAY.
I AM A GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL MAN
FOR MY LOVELY WIFE CAMILLE.
I THANK YOU FOR THIS FOOD.
AND PLEASE BLESS THE HANDS THAT PREPARED IT.
AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL,
BEAUTIFUL FAMILY,
AND INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,
AND A WONDERFUL GRANDKIDS,
AND THE NEW PEOPLE HERE TODAY THAT--THAT WE ACCEPT
INTO OUR HOME AND INTO OUR HEARTS.
AND AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE,
AND PROTECTION, AND GUIDANCE.
PLEASE WATCH OVER MY SON, CROSBY,
SO HE DOESN'T MANGLE MY $200 BUTTERBALL TURKEY.
IT'S ZEEK BRAVERMAN. OVER AND OUT. THANK YOU. AMEN.
all: AMEN.
[chattering and cheers]
- HOLD ON A SECOND. I WANT TO GO LEFT.
- I WAS WONDERING, WHY THIS YEAR?
IT SEEMS TOO SOON.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
- [whispering]
- SORRY, WE...
- OH, MAN, THAT'S GOING THROUGH LIKE...
- OH, MY GOODNESS!
[exclamations]
[chattering]
- HEY, GORDO, TELL ME SOMETHING,
NOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT CLICKER SHOE IDEA?
- COME ON, DAD, CAN WE PLEASE?
- IT WAS A GREAT IDEA THOUGH.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT DEAD, IS IT?
- IT WAS A GREAT IDEA. TERRIFIC IDEA.
BUT LIKE MANY GREAT IDEAS, SOMETIMES--
- YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S JUST--IT DIDN'T TEST WELL,
SO WE HAD TO SHELVE IT.
AND I JUST--YOU KNOW, IT'S THANKSGIVING.
CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT WORK?
- NOT ABOUT WORK, ADAM. THIS IS ABOUT SARAH.
- DAD, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT SARAH.
- HEY, UM, WHERE'S THE GOLDEN TURKEY?
- OH, THANK YOU. MOM, MOM, WHERE'S THE GOLDEN TURKEY?
- WHAT'S THAT?
- IT'S THE MVP AWARD FOR THE BEST PLAYER
IN THE FOOTBALL GAME.
- YEAH, WHO'S THE REIGNING CHAMP?
- IT'S HADDIE TWO YEARS IN A ROW.
SHE GOT 87% OF THE FIRST-PLACE VOTES.
- MY LITTLE SECRET WEAPON. RIGHT THERE. SECRET WEAPON.
- NOT A SECRET IF EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
[cell phone rings] - WASN'T ME.
- NOT MINE. - EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
I JUST HAVE TO TAKE THIS CALL. I APOLOGIZE.
JUST--IT'S IMPORTANT. - THAT'S OKAY. IT'S WORK.
- SORRY. FOOD'S DELICIOUS. - MONEY NEVER SLEEPS.
YOU GOT TO BUY LOW AND SELL HIGH.
WHY DON'T YOU RETURN THAT SHIRT FROM THE MATADOR
YOU STOLE IT FROM?
- IT'S A REALLY IMPORTANT PHONE CALL
FROM THE HAIR GEL TRADE ASSOCIATION.
[laughter]
- CAN EVERYONE, UM, BE MORE THANKFUL
FOR...EACH OTHER?
- I'M SO THANKFUL THAT HE GOT A PHONE CALL.
- SARAH, HONEY, HE'S A LOT BETTER
THAN SOME OF THOSE DOOZIES
YOU USED TO BRING AROUND.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT. - RIGHT?
- SORRY, THE BRAVERMANS,
WE LIKE TO WEIGH IN, YOU KNOW.
- JUST REMIND ME NOT TO LEAVE THE TABLE.
- REMEMBER THAT STRIPPER THAT CROSBY BROUGHT ONE HOLIDAY?
- SHE WAS NOT A STRIPPER. SHE WAS A MASSAGE THERAPIST.
- OH, THAT'S RIGHT. - A HEALER. SHE WAS A HEALER.
- SHE WAS AN EXOTIC MASSAGE THERAPIST.
[cell phone rings] - OH, NO.
- IS HE JUST GETTING ANOTHER CALL?
- WHOSE IS THAT? CROSBY?
- I'M SORRY. IT'S DAD. IT'S DAD.
HEY, YEAH.
[chattering]
- IT'S DELICIOUS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES INTO MAKING A MINCEMEAT PIE,
BUT THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. DELICIOUS, CAMILLE.
- ACTUALLY, RENEE MADE THE MINCEMEAT PIE.
AND THE SWEET POTATO TOO. - THIS IS SWEET POTATO?
I THOUGHT IT WAS PUMPKIN. - IT'S REALLY GOOD.
- YOU KNOW, I WANT TO TRY SOME OF YOUR RUM RAISIN.
IT'S GOT BOOZE IN IT, YEAH?
- OH, CROS, IT DOES, BUT DON'T--DON'T DO THAT.
SPARE YOURSELF. IT'S A DISASTER.
- NO, IT'S NOT, JULIA.
I GOT SOME. IT'S VERY GOOD, HONEY.
- WELL, RUM RAISIN IS REALLY A VERY AMBITIOUS CHOICE.
YOU KNOW, I'M AMAZED THAT YOU EVEN ATTEMPTED IT.
- YEAH. OH, AMBER, HEY, DAD WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
- OKAY, WELL, YOU CAN TELL HIM I'LL CALL HIM BACK.
- AMBER. - HE JUST WANTS TO SAY HI.
- I SAID THAT I'D CALL HIM BACK, OKAY?
- HEY, YEAH, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW.
- MOMMY, CAN I HAVE OREOS? - NO, SWEETIE, NOT NOW.
- BUT MAX IS HAVING THEM. - WELL, MAX--
JUST--LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT MAX IS DOING.
- WHY CAN'T I HAVE OREOS?
- SWEETIE, BECAUSE I SAID NO
AND BECAUSE WE WORKED REALLY HARD MAKING THESE PIES.
- JULIA... - MOM, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE.
JUST--SYD, IF YOU WANT DESSERT, YOU'RE HAVING PIE, OKAY?
THAT'S ALL. JUST--YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
- [coughs]
- UM, I AM GOING TO GO TOO.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- YEAH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- I'M GOING DOWN TO THE FOOD BANK.
I'M VOLUNTEERING. - DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
- I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. - IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
IT'S FINE. - WHAT ABOUT THE FOOTBALL GAME?
THE SECRET WEAPON. - IT'S FINE.
I'M JUST GOING TO MISS IT THIS YEAR.
I MEAN, I'M GOING TO HELP CHARITY.
AND AMBER'S NOT EVEN PLAYING.
- HEY, COME ON, I'VE BEEN AT IT
SINCE 5:00 IN THE MORNING.
DON'T YOU THINK I DESERVE A BREAK?
- OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND.
YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THE FAMILY THANKSGIVING DINNER.
- ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW,
THANKSGIVING IS THE BUSIEST DAY OF THE YEAR
AT THE FOOD BANK.
- YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT JUST GOING TO GET UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THANKSGIVING DINNER
AND GIVE YOU A RIDE INTO OAKLAND, OKAY?
- I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO.
I'M TAKING THE BUS AND IT LEAVES IN SEVEN MINUTES.
- YOU HAVE A BUS SCHEDULE? - OKAY. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE DOING A GOOD THING.
FINE. GO. WHATEVER. - YOU SURE?
- YEAH.
- OKAY, HONEY, CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU'RE DONE.
YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE BUS HOME LATE.
- OKAY. - BE CAREFUL.
- I'M GONNA MISS YOU. GOSH DARN IT.
- I THINK THAT'LL BE MY CUE AS WELL.
I, UM, TOLD A FRIEND I WOULD STOP BY FOR DESSERT
ON THE WAY HOME.
- WELL, YOU KNOW, THE FOOTBALL REALLY IS THE BEST PART.
- YOU KNOW, I PROMISED A FRIEND I'D STOP IN.
- LOOK, THE MAN WANTS TO GO, LET HIM GO.
- HEY, GORDO, I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT INTIMIDATED
BY WHAT MAY TAKE PLACE ON THE OLD GRIDIRON ARE YOU?
- ALL RIGHT, DAD, COME ON.
- I PLAYED A LITTLE FOOTBALL BACK IN THE DAY.
ST. MARK'S LIONS. CLASS OF '83. OUTSIDE LINEBACKER.
- REALLY? 'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU PLAYED FOOTBALL.
- YOU NEVER ASKED.
- YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A LINEBACKER.
- HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? - I'VE PLAYED A LITTLE FOOTBALL.
- OKAY, SO I'M LIKING THIS.
WHY DON'T WE TAKE THIS OUT TO THE FIELD ITSELF
AND THEN, UH, HAVE SOME FUN.
I'M LIKING THIS.
- OH, SHE'S OVER THERE.
- SHE'S OVER PLAYING, YEAH.
- WHAT ELSE? WHAT DID HE SAY?
WHERE IS HE? - I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
HE'S ON TOUR. HE'S ON THE ROAD.
- WELL, AT LEAST HE REMEMBERED A HOLIDAY, HUH?
- YEAH. - AND WHAT ELSE?
- JUST THE SAME AS USUAL, MOM, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN... - WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT'S USUAL? - ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME TO--
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO SAY.
- I'M NOT TRYING TO GET YOU TO DO ANYTHING.
- I DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT GORDON OR ANYTHING
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO IMPLY.
- IT'S NOT WHAT I'M TRYING TO IMPLY.
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM IN A WHILE
AND--I'M GLAD HE CALLED, OKAY?
- YEAH. ME TOO. - I'M GLAD HE CALLED.
COME ON, LET'S PLAY.
- LITTLE BRAVERMAN 101, SISTER-IN-LAW TO SISTER-IN-LAW:
THEY TAKE THIS GAME REALLY, REALLY SERIOUSLY.
- MAKE SURE YOU STRETCH OUT. - WE ARE.
I'M DOING IT. I'M DOING IT. - STRETCH IT OUT.
OKAY? LIMBER UP. - I'M STRETCHING.
THEY ARE COMMITTED AND THEY'RE CRAZY, OKAY?
- I CAN SEE THAT.
- NOW, THE KIDS LIKE TO RUN AROUND AND HAVE FUN.
ZEEK IS COMPLETELY OFF LIMITS.
YOU CANNOT TOUCH HIM. HE'S NEUTRAL, OKAY?
EVERYBODY ELSE IS FAIR GAME. YOU TAKE THEM DOWN.
TAKE THEM DOWN. OKAY? - RIGHT ON.
- AND WE KEEP SCORE. - I WOULD HOPE SO.
- OKAY, I WILL TAKE JASMINE AND JABBAR.
- WHOO! - YAY!
- WHY? 'CAUSE THEY'RE BLACK?
- UH, NO, DAD, BECAUSE JASMINE'S A DANCER
AND SHE'S ATHLETIC.
AND BECAUSE JABBAR'S A SUPER FINE STUD.
AM I RIGHT?
- I GOT THE YOUNG BUCK AND THE LOVELY JULIA.
LET'S BRING IT.
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. THE YOUNG BUCK.
- LET'S GET IT ON!
[cheers]
TURKEY! THANKSGIVING! RUM RAISIN!
[shouts]
- GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
[cheers]
- G. GORDON LIDDY.
BEHIND.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
- AH! - OH!
- TOUCHDOWN!
- OH! - WHA!
- AHA-HA! - JASMINE'S OUR MAN! YES!
- EINSTEIN, SHE'S ON THE OTHER TEAM.
- GO. - HEY, HEY, HEY.
- I GOT NO BALL. - OH, THE FAKE OUT.
- GET HER. GET HER. GET HER.
- ALL RIGHT, RIGHT HERE. - TOUCH FOOTBALL.
- ARE YOU ALLOWED TO PLAY ON YOUR CYCLE?
- THAT'S FUNNY. - GO.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHICH WAY ARE YOU GOING? AH.
'CAUSE YOU HAVE SHOES ON. THAT'S IT.
- YEAH, MAYBE YOU STOP DRESSING LIKE A HOBBIT...
- THAT'S NICE OF YOUR MOTHER TO LOAN YOU
THAT NICE SWEATPANTS SUIT.
- FORGOT THE BALL BACK THERE, SON.
- IF YOU NEED YOUR MOMMY, YOU'RE A COMMIE.
HERE WE GO.
- YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU GETTING TIRED?
- HA HA HA.
- ALKA-SELTZER, GIN FIZZ,
I GOT TO TAKE A WHIZ.
HA HA HA.
- OH! - AAH!
- NO, NO, NO. I GOT HIM.
- YEAH.
- YOU LOST SOMETHING OVER THERE, PAL.
WHO'S YOUR JOCK? - WATCH HIM. WATCH HIM.
HE'S GOING DEEP. HE'S GOING DEEP.
- GO! - HO!
- OH! OH! - OH!
- WHOA.
- HEY, HEY, LISTEN,
I GOT A STEPLADDER AT HOME IN MY GARAGE
IF YOU NEED IT.
- LITTLE SEPARATION.
- GUYS, IT'S 35 TO 35.
THIS IS THE LAST PLAY OF THE GAME.
GUYS, IT'S 35 TO 35.
- 35-35. WE GOT TO STOP THEM HERE.
- YEAH, I WANT THE BALL.
- GUYS, ALSO--ALSO,
IF YOU DON'T SCORE, IT'S A TIE.
- YEAH, THANKS, MAX. APPRECIATE IT.
- WELL, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT TYING, RIGHT?
- NO, WE DON'T. - JASMINE OVER HERE.
CROSS, GO TO THE END ZONE, OKAY?
- I'LL WIND UP OVER THERE. - OKAY, WHAT ABOUT ME?
- ALL RIGHT, DECOY. - WHAT ABOUT ME?
- A DECOY FOR HIS DECOY.
LISTEN, SONNY, I'M GONNA TOSS IT HIGH.
SO YOU GO UP AND GET IT. - GOOD. ALL RIGHT.
- BREAK! - HIKE!
- BIG WIN. - TEAM UP. EVERY TEAM ON THREE.
1, 2, 3. [cheers]
- BLUE BANANA. POOPY DIAPER.
MAO TSE TUNG. GO!
- WHOO! [trilling]
- IT'S GOING TO ADAM! IT'S GOING TO ADAM!
- GO, GO, GO, GO!
- GET OFF ME.
- OUT! OUT OF BOUNDS! - THAT WAS A CATCH.
- STEPPED OUT.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, IT WAS AT LEAST A DO-OVER
BECAUSE CROSBY WAS DOING A LITTLE HOLDING.
- DO-OVER? - IT'S A CATCH. TOUCHDOWN.
- YOU GUYS. - THIS IS A TURKEY BOWL.
- YOU MAKING THE RULES NOW? - ADAM.
HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS, COME ON.
- IT'S A TURKEY BOWL. YOU'RE CALLING PENALTIES?
- EASY, EASY, EASY. IT'S JUST A GAME.
- IT DOESN'T MATTER. I DON'T CARE.
- THAT'S A BIG SURPRISE
'CAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING, DO YOU?
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS GAME.
HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OUR FAMILY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THANKSGIVING.
HE SOLD THE COMPANY, SARAH, LAST NIGHT!
- WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY?
- I DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY ANYBODY
BECAUSE THESE TYPES OF DEALS FALL APART ALL THE TIME.
- NOT EVEN ADAM? NOT EVEN ME?
- ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT YOUR JOB?
'CAUSE I CAN GET YOU 100 MORE JUST LIKE IT IN A HEARTBEAT.
- I WORK FOR MY BROTHER.
HE HELPED ME.
- I KNOW HE DID.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
- THE TRUTH IS IS THAT THIS
IS SOMETHING I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR A WHILE.
IT'S--IT'S BUSINESS,
AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO DO,
AND YOUR BROTHER, HE'S ALWAYS GONNA LAND ON HIS FEET.
- WE'LL...MISS YOU.
- WELL, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
I CARE ABOUT YOU, OKAY?
AND I NEED TO GO AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
I NEED TO RETHINK THINGS AND TRAVEL
AND FIGURE OUT WHAT'S NEXT FOR ME,
BUT I REALLY DO WANT US TO STAY CONNECTED.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD MEET ME ON THE ROAD
AND WE COULD CONTINUE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
- I--I CAN'T DO THAT.
- I UNDERSTAND.
THANK YOU FOR, UH, HAVING ME TO YOUR HOME ON THANKSGIVING.
I HAD A GREAT TIME.
SEE YOU LATER.
[door opens and closes]
- HI.
- HEY, YOU HUNGRY AGAIN? I'LL MAKE YOU A PLATE.
THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD STUFF LEFT.
- NO, I JUST CAME TO APOLOGIZE FOR EARLIER.
I--YOU KNOW, WITH SYDNEY.
I DON'T KNOW. I JUST SHOULDN'T BE TAKING IT OUT ON ALL OF YOU.
- WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
THE HOLIDAYS ARE NOTHING IF NOT STRESSFUL.
- I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING THIS DAY WITH HER
WITHOUT MY CELL PHONE AND EVERYTHING,
AND I JUST--I BLEW IT, 'CAUSE MY MIND
WAS ON THOSE STUPID PIES,
TRYING TO GET THEM PERFECT,
WHICH I OBVIOUSLY DID NOT DO.
- THE PIES WERE FINE.
- LOOK AT YOUR FACE.
- I CERTAINLY DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
- I KNOW, YOU NEVER DO,
BUT YOU SET THE BAR PRETTY HIGH.
JUST--I KNOW YOU THINK I SPOIL HER.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WORK ALL DAY,
YOU COME HOME, YOU WANT THINGS TO BE JUST GOOD AND HAPPY,
AND HAVE IT BE RIGHT.
I WANT TO HAVE IT BE ALL...
YOU KNOW?
- JULIA,
MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
AND I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'RE AN AMAZING MOM.
SO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP, OKAY?
- OKAY.
- THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
- HOW'S YOUR DAD DOING?
- UH, HE'S FINE, I GUESS.
- WOW, WASN'T THAT SOMETHING, THAT HAPPENED OUT THERE TODAY?
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- TWO GUYS GOING AT IT? JEEZ.
- WELL, I THINK, WELL, YEAH,
I THINK UNCLE ADAM COULD HAVE TAKEN HIM. DO YOU?
- YEAH.
WELL, IF HE COULDN'T, I WOULD HAVE.
- WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN TO WATCH.
- I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT MYSELF.
- I LIKED IT.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT FIGHTS.
THEY'RE JUST FUN TO WATCH.
- OH, YEAH. FUN TO BE IN.
GO AHEAD.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS? - YEAH.
- REALLY? - YEP.
IF YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER, YOU'RE DEAD.
- PROMISE I WON'T.
[coughs]
- YEAH.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- HUH? [laughs]
- NOTHING LIKE IT.
- THAT'LL PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST.
- IT'S REALLY BAD. YEAH?
- YEAH.
- UGH. LOOK AT THIS.
HOW YOU DOING?
- [laughs]
OH...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.
- WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO START.
I MEAN, YOU DID EVERYTHING ELSE, RIGHT?
- UGH. UNFORTUNATELY, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
- WELL, WE SHOULD MAKE IT WORK THAT WAY.
YOU DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE.
YOU KNOW, LITTLE THINGS AND BIG THINGS AND...
I DON'T KNOW, I NEVER SEE YOU GET THANKED, SO, ANYWAY,
YOU KNOW, FROM ME TO YOU,
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
I APPRECIATE IT.
- THANK YOU.
- AND, YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,
I KNOW THAT POP REALLY APPRECIATES IT TOO.
UM, I KNOW HE DOESN'T REALLY ARTICULATE IT,
YOU KNOW, WELL, OR... I DON'T KNOW.
IT JUST SEEMS TO ME LIKE HE'S EMOTIONALLY INCAPABLE.
BUT, YOU KNOW, I CAN TELL THAT HE REALLY CARES.
SO, ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU...
TAKE THIS AND JUST, I DON'T KNOW,
GO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, YOU KNOW?
TAKE A BREAK. GET OUT OF HERE.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
SOMEBODY ELSE WILL DO THIS.
YOU DESERVE IT.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
[soft pop music]
♪
- THAT WAS AMAZING.
- YEAH, WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.
THANKS FOR COMING.
- THANK YOU, BUT I'M SURE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
I MEAN... [sighs] BEST THANKSGIVING.
[laughs]
STUPID THING TO SAY, BUT...
- WELL, THANKS FOR COMING.
UH, ARE YOUR PARENTS COOL WITH YOU BEING HERE?
YOU KNOW, IT IS THANKSGIVING.
- YEAH. UM, I MEAN, I HAD DINNER WITH THEM AT HOME,
SO... IT'S FINE.
- OKAY.
- OH.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
- ♪ THAT BRIDGE IS ON FIRE
- CAN I HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE WHEN WE GET HOME?
- OH, MAX, HONEY, YOU'VE ALREADY HAD TWO.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
- SO? DO YOU REMEMBER LAST YEAR?
DO YOU REMEMBER LAST YEAR
WHEN I ATE THAT WHOLE CHOCOLATE CAKE?
- AND WHAT HAPPENED? YOU GOT SICK.
- NO, I DIDN'T. NO, I DIDN'T.
- WE'LL SEE. OKAY, WE'LL SEE.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- YEAH, GOOD NIGHT. OH, MY GOD.
GOOD NIGHT.
UH, HEY.
- HI.
- YOU DIDN'T CALL ME OR TEXT ME.
- WHO IS THAT?
KID? MAN?
- UM, HE--GRANDMA INTRODUCED ME TO HIM.
- HE'S REALLY-- - HIS NAME'S ALEX.
- ALEX.
- ALL RIGHT, SHOULD WE GO?
- YEP.
- DON'T YOU WANT TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO"?
- NOPE.
- I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING, YOU KNOW?
HE'S...FEELS PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT YOU'RE GONNA KEEP YOUR JOB.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?
- YUP.
- LOOK AT THESE BROWN NOSERS.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS, GUNNING FOR A PROMOTION?
- YES, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THANKSGIVING.
- WHY DON'T YOU GRAB A TOWEL?
- OKAY. YOU WANT ME TO TACKLE THIS, UH, DISASTER?
HEY, THAT WAS A PRETTY EVENTFUL THANKSGIVING, HUH?
LOT OF FIREWORKS.
- OH, YEAH.
ADAM TAKING ON HIS BOSS MANO-A-MANO,
YOU BREAKING UP WITH YOUR BOSS,
AND YOUNG JULIA MAKING THE WORLD'S WORST PIE.
- WORST PIE EVER. - IT WAS THE WORST.
- AND CROSBY, WELL, ACTUALLY,
I KIND OF SAILED EFFORTLESSLY THROUGH THIS THANKSGIVING
WITH MY FUTURE IN-LAWS AND MY REAL FAMILY,
AND I'M STILL GETTING MARRIED. - HOW DO YOU DO IT?
- AND I CARVED THAT TURKEY LIKE A SAMURAI.
- VERY HUMBLE TOO.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE THIS CLEAN UP REALLY COOL?
- WHAT?
- A LITTLE MUSIC.
- WHO'S GONNA START THE DISHES?
- GONNA TAKE YOU WAY BACK, OKAY?
- WHY DON'T YOU START THE DISHES?
- I'LL START THE DISHES. IN A MINUTE.
- YES. YES. WHAT IS THAT?
- SOMEBODY'S TEMPERATURE'S RISING.
WHERE'S FEVER?
- WHAT? WHO'S THE PARTY POOPER?
LET'S GO. COME ON. - FEVER!
- OH!
IT'S A SLOW ROLL, BUT WHEN HE BREAKS IT OUT, OH!
- HEY, MILLIE, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION HERE?
HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GONNA BE MAD AT ME?
- I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BE.
[hip-hop music playing]
♪
- AT LEAST WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT, HUH?
- YEAH.
- SPRINKLER.
- UH-OH.
- ♪ YOU DOWN WITH O.P.P.?
♪ YEAH YOU KNOW ME
♪ WHO'S DOWN WITH O.P.P.?
♪ EVERY LAST HOMIE
♪ YOU DOWN WITH O.P.P.?
♪ YEAH YOU KNOW ME
♪ YOU DOWN WITH O.P.P.?
♪ YEAH YOU KNOW ME
♪ YOU DOWN WITH O.P.P.?
♪ YEAH YOU KNOW ME
♪ WHO'S DOWN WITH O.P.P.?