- MY DAUGHTER, HADDIE BRAVERMAN,
IS RUNNING FOR JUNIOR-CLASS PRESIDENT.
- THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE CAMPAIGN.
- I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU SOME CAMPAIGN STRATEGIES THAT I--
- YEAH, AND I'M SAYING I DON'T CARE
ABOUT YOUR CAMPAIGN STRATEGIES!
I WANT TO DO IT ON MY OWN.
- MIKE THIS IS SARAH SHE'S OUR NEW INTERN.
- HI. - SARAH, THIS IS MIKE.
- IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND? - NO, HE'S JUST A GUY FROM WORK.
- I'VE BEEN, UH, CHOSEN TO JOIN A TOUR COMPANY.
- THE EUROPEAN TOUR? - YEAH.
- WHAT ABOUT JABBAR? - HE SHOULD STAY OUT HERE.
AND HE CAN LIVE WITH MY MOM.
- IT'LL BE FINE.
- OKAY, HONEY, WHY DO WE WIND UP WITH SO MUCH CRAP?
IT'S ENDLESS. - THAT'S NOT CRAP.
- WE JUST HAVE TO START THROWING MORE STUFF OUT.
FOR EVERY ONE THING THAT COMES INTO THE HOUSE,
SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO GO OUT. NO.
- SOUNDS GOOD. I'M LOOKING AT THIS CALENDAR,
AND NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE.
I CAN'T, LIKE, FIGURE THIS OUT. I'VE OVERBOOKED THINGS.
IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU CAN TAKE MAX ON TUESDAY
TO DR. PELIKAN AT 4:00?
- HONEY, YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO TAKE OFF EARLY.
- I KNOW, BUT I HAVE TO MEET WITH THE O.T., OKAY?
THEY PUT MAX WITH SOMEBODY COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT,
AND I DON'T WANT HIM GOING WITH THAT PERSON.
IT'S JUST-- - ALL RIGHT, FINE.
- YEAH? OKAY, PERFECT. - I CAN TAKE HIM.
BUT IF I HAVE TO LEAVE WORK EARLY ON TUESDAY,
THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COVER HADDIE'S SCHOOL NIGHT
ON WEDNESDAY, SO I CAN WORK LATE.
- OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON?
- HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER WATCH HIM.
- SHE'S GOT THE ELECTION. SHE HAS TO FOCUS.
- ALL RIGHT, LET ME CRACK THIS THING.
IT MAKES NO SENSE. - LET ME LOOK. LET ME LOOK.
[door closes] SEE?
- HEY, MOM AND DAD'S WASHER BROKE.
DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I DO A LOAD?
- NO, NO, NO, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
- IS THAT YOUR SCHEDULE? - YEAH.
- PUT BASKETBALL ON THERE.
YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED IN, LIKE, THREE MONTHS.
- YEAH, I'LL PENCIL IT IN. IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
- I AM GOING FOR A WALK RIGHT NOW WITH SUZE LESSING.
- WHY? - WHY? TO EXERCISE.
- ALL RIGHT. - I LOVE YOU.
- I JUST THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA THROW MORE OF THIS STUFF AWAY.
- I NEED NEW INSOLES TOO.
MY SHOES ARE NOT WORKING CORRECTLY.
I LOVE YOU. BYE, CROSBY.
- HEY!
HEY! - HUH?
YEAH? YOU WANT TO CHECK THIS OUT?
- WHAT? - IT'S THE HENRY CLAY PEOPLE.
I JUST MIXED THIS.
COMING OUT NEXT WEEK.
WE'RE HAVING A LISTENING PARTY AT THE STUDIO TOMORROW.
YOU SHOULD COME. - YEAH, I WORK ON MOND--
- WHAT? - I WORK ON MONDAY.
- YEAH, YEAH. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- IT'S AT 4:00 P.M. THERE'S AN OPEN BAR--WHY DON'T YOU COME?
- I CAN'T MAKE IT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M DOING LAUNDRY. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHERE'S JABBAR?
- OH, UH, HE'S WITH RENEE AT THE MOVIES.
- AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?
- YEAH, HE GETS TO WATCH A CARTOON MOVIE,
AND I GET TO WATCH THE NINERS.
IT'S KIND OF A WIN-WIN, DON'T YOU THINK?
- YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.
UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHATEVER. HE'S YOUR KID.
- YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A LOT LESS JUDGMENT
WHEN I DID MY LAUNDRY AT MOM AND DAD'S.
- HEY, DON'T--DON'T OVERLOAD THAT, I'M SERIOUS.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T--
YOU GOT THE DIESEL TRUCK OF WASHING MACHINES.
YOU GOT TO TEST THIS THING.
- HOW DO YOU THINK MOM AND DAD'S WASHER BROKE
IN THE FIRST PLACE? - 'CAUSE THEY DIDN'T PUSH IT.
YOU GOT TO LEAN INTO THESE THINGS.
THEY WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD. - DON'T OVERLOAD THE WASHER.
IF THAT THING BREAKS, YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT.
- I'M GONNA OVERLOAD IT.
I'M GONNA PUT SHOES IN IT, TOO, AND BOOTS--
WORK BOOTS.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU. - JULES...
CHECK THIS OUT. - HI.
- I JUST NEED SOME ASSISTANCE. - OKAY.
- IF YOU COULD, UH, LOCK ME IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT? - OKAY.
- YEAH.
- LET'S GO WITH THAT ONE. - YOU SURE?
YOU CAN'T GO ANY TIGHTER? - NO, I DON'T--
OW, SORRY. - IT'S NO BIG DEAL TO ME.
AWESOME.
RIGHT, THERE'S NO WAY I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS, RIGHT?
- UH, NO. - I'M SEALED IN.
- YEAH. - OKAY.
BLAST.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS...
ALL RIGHT, IT-- OKAY, JUST--
- WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S HOBBY DAY AT SYDNEY'S SCHOOL.
JUST GET A-- - OH, AND MAGIC IS YOUR HOBBY?
- IT IS NOW, YEAH. MM-HMM. - WHY?
- 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A HOBBY, JULES.
- SO YOU'RE PRETENDING TO HAVE A HOBBY?
- DO YOU WANT TO DO HOBBY DAY?
'CAUSE I JUST SPENT THREE HOURS LOOKING ONLINE
HOW TO MAKE THIS CRAP WORK.
- NO. - NO?
- NO.
- "TO CONCLUDE, I THINK I AM THE BEST CANDIDATE
"FOR JUNIOR-CLASS PRESIDENT, BECAUSE I WILL LISTEN TO YOU,
"AND I HAVE LOTS OF GOOD IDEAS FOR COMMUNITY SERVICE,
"LIKE A MAGAZINE DRIVE AND COLLECTING CANNED FOODS.
"I'M RESPONSIBLE AND COMMITTED, AND I WILL BE APPROACHABLE.
"MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN, AND I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU.
SO REMEMBER, VOTE HADDIE"-- STOP TEXTING AND LISTEN TO ME.
"SO REMEMBER, VOTE HADDIE BRAVERMAN
FOR JUNIOR-CLASS PRESIDENT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."
- ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT? - NO, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- IT'S, UH... - YOU DON'T.
YOU'RE NOT INTO IT. - WELL, I MEAN...
I'M TAKING A NAP, BUT I DON'T THINK
THAT NECESSARILY MEANS THAT IT'S BAD.
I'M SORRY. - RIGHT.
- IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT BAD. - IT'S NOT GOOD.
- IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE
MY GRANDMOTHER WROTE IT. - OKAY.
SO WHAT PARTS--WHAT'S SPECIFICALLY WRONG WITH IT?
I NEED TO HAVE A DOUGHNUT. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.
- FIRST OF ALL, PIZZA PARTIES? - WHAT? WE HAVE PIZZA PARTIES.
- HOW OLD ARE WE? NO.
YOU GOT TO GRAB THEM AND HOOK THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM REMEMBER YOU,
LIKE, YOU KNOW, WEAR A FUNNY HAT.
- WEAR A FUNNY HAT?
- YOU KNOW, HAVE THAT BE YOUR THING.
REMEMBER THAT GUY, SCOTT SUSSMAN?
- YEAH.
- HE PUTS "THE 'STUD' IN STUDENT COUNCIL?"
- RIGHT, I DON'T THINK THAT'S FUNNY.
- IT'S AMAZING. - IT'S NOT STUDEN--
- BECAUSE THE WORD "STUD" IS IN THE WORD "STUDENT."
- IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. - WELL...
- YOU PRONOUNCE IT WRONG, AND THEN THE WHOLE THING
GOES OUT THE WINDOW.
IT'S LAZY, IS REALLY WHAT IT IS.
- THE POINT IS, THE GUY GOT ELECTED.
- I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. OKAY.
- SO... - WELL, IS THIS THE ANAPHASE?
- UH, IT LOOKS LIKE THE ANA-- - WHAT IS THE ORDER?
- WELL, OKAY, I THINK THAT GOES THERE.
ALL RIGHT, SO JUST KEEP IT.
YEAH, LET'S PUT IT BACK. - [chuckles]
- [giggles] YOU GOT IT? ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
OKAY, AND... - THESE NEED TO BE SWITCHED?
- YOU HAVE SOMETHING HERE. - OH.
- OKAY, SO WHAT-- - YOU'RE SPYING AGAIN.
- I'M NOT SPYING. - YEAH, YOU ARE.
- NO, I'M JUST LOOKING.
MOM, THE GIRL LIKES HIM, YOU KNOW?
- YEAH, LIKE... LIKE THAT.
OKAY. [giggles]
- THEY'RE DOING A SCIENCE PROJECT TOGETHER.
- BECAUSE SHE ASKED TO BE HIS LAB PARTNER.
[clicks tongue] SHE LIKES HIM, AND HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- [sighs] - I'M GOING IN.
- [gasps] UH...
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
- UH, GOOD. WE THINK WE'VE FIGURED OUT MITOSIS, SO...
- WELL, I HOPE THERE'S A CURE FOR THAT.
DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?
DID--DID YOU WANT SOME LEMONADE OR, UM, COOKIES OR...?
- YEAH, IF THIS WERE, LIKE, 1950.
THANKS.
- WELL, PERHAPS I'LL BRING YOU A MARTINI AND SOME POT.
I WAS JUST KIDDING.
THAT'S--YOU SHOULD NOT DO DRUGS OR DRINK.
UH, YOU KNOW, STAY IN SCHOOL.
DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS-- - WE'RE ALREADY IN SCHOOL.
- THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF MY MOTTOS.
OKAY, FINE. I'LL, UH, SEE YOU LATER.
- SHE'S, LIKE, A PAIN IN THE ASS.
I DON'T KNOW... - IT'S OKAY.
- SHE'S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY.
- FUNNY? - YEAH.
- ♪ MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALWAYS ♪
♪ AND MAY YOUR WISHES ALL COME TRUE ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS DO FOR OTHERS ♪
♪ AND LET OTHERS DO FOR YOU ♪
♪ MAY YOU BUILD A LADDER TO THE STARS ♪
♪ AND CLIMB ON EVERY RUNG ♪
♪ AND MAY YOU STAY ♪
♪ FOREVER YOUNG ♪
♪ MAY YOU GROW UP TO BE RIGHTEOUS ♪
♪ MAY YOU GROW UP TO BE TRUE ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW THE TRUTH ♪
♪ AND SEE THE LIGHTS SURROUNDING YOU ♪
♪ MAY YOU ALWAYS BE COURAGEOUS ♪
♪ STAND UPRIGHT AND BE STRONG ♪
♪ AND MAY YOU STAY ♪
♪ FOREVER YOUNG ♪
♪ MAY YOU STAY ♪
♪ FOREVER YOUNG ♪
- I WOKE UP ONE MORNING, AND I REALIZED
PHIL AND I WERE BORING. PHIL AND I WERE NEVER BORING.
WE DID IT ALL--YOU KNOW, KAYAKING, DANCE CLASSES,
TANTRIC SEX. - TANTRIC SEX?
DID YOU? - OH, YEAH!
- WOW. - OH, KRISTINA, WE WERE WILD.
- THAT'S CRAZY. - WILD.
- AND THEN WITH NOEL, YOU KNOW, THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH WORRYING
AND SO MUCH WORK AND... - YEAH.
- WELL, YOU GUYS KNOW HOW IT IS,
WITH THE SCHOOL STUFF AND THE DOCTOR VISITS
AND CONSTANTLY JUGGLING A MILLION DIFFERENT THINGS
AND ALWAYS ARGUING ABOUT IT, YOU THINK TO YOURSELF--
YOU KNOW, YOU REALIZE YOU STOP MAKING TIME FOR EACH OTHER,
STOP MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELVES,
AND YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE 80%.
IT'S NOT GONNA BE YOU, YOU KNOW?
- 80% WHAT?
- OH, YOU NEVER HEARD THAT STATISTIC?
- NO. - OH, YEAH.
80% OF MARRIAGES WITH A CHILD WITH AUTISM
END IN DIVORCE.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? - NO, NO.
OUR MARRIAGE COUNSELOR TOLD US.
IT'S, LIKE, A STONE-COLD FACT.
OH, GOD, I'M SCARING YOU.
- NO, I JUST NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE.
- OH, I'M SORRY, KRISTINA. I'M AN IDIOT.
- YOU'RE NOT.
- YOU AND ADAM ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
YOU'RE, LIKE, THIS GREAT COUPLE.
- WE SHOULD GO OUT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WE SHOULD GO OUT"?
- WELL, I MEAN, OUR DATE NIGHT HAS COMPLETELY EVAPORATED.
- YEAH, I DON'T LIKE THAT TERM "DATE NIGHT."
- THAT'S OKAY. YOU CAN CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT.
I WANT IT BACK. I THINK WE SHOULD GO OUT.
- WHEN YOU SAY, "DATE NIGHT," I FEEL LIKE THERE'S PRESSURE.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE SCREWED BEFORE WE EVEN GET OUT OF THE GATE.
- OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
BUT LET'S DO IT, THURSDAY NIGHT.
- HONEY, THIS IS A CRAZY WEEK. I CAN'T.
- WHY IS IT CRAZY?
- BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING I GOT GOING ON AT WORK.
I CAN'T DO IT THIS WEEK.
- ADAM, EVERY WEEK IS CRAZY, BUT IF WE DON'T SET ASIDE TIME
FOR EACH OTHER, NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA DO IT.
LET'S DO IT. I CAN GET HADDIE TO BABYSIT.
THURSDAY. - OKAY.
- GREAT, AWESOME.
- WE'LL GO TO PEDRO'S.
- PEDRO'S.
- PEDRO'S IS FUN. I THOUGHT WE LIKED PEDRO'S.
- PEDRO'S IS SORT OF, LIKE, A TACO AND MARGARITA PLACE.
I WANT A REAL DATE, LIKE A DATEDATE, ADAM,
YOU KNOW, WHERE WE GET DRESSED UP AND CONNECT.
- CONNECT?
- SEE, NOW I LIKE THAT WORD.
- I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT JUST SEX,
I MEANT, LIKE, A REAL DATE, ADAM--I'M SERIOUS.
- WE'RE ON.
- THURSDAY NIGHT? - THURSDAY NIGHT.
- RECLAIM IT. - DATE NIGHT.
I AM SO EXCITED.
[toothbrush buzzing]
- THANKS. I'M RUNNING TO THE OFFICE.
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME. - TALK TO YOU.
- ALL RIGHT. [cheers and applause]
- CHECK THIS OUT. IF YOU LIKE THAT, YOU'LL LOVE THIS.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
ALWAYS GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE.
[cheers and applause]
- HEY.
- HI. UM, FINE.
BUT YOU'RE GONNA NEED A NEW HOBBY.
- HEY. - HEY.
- HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
- IT WAS FINE. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
- IT WAS GOOD, REALLY GOOD.
- OH, HEY, UM, CAN YOU BABYSIT ON THURSDAY?
DAD AND I ARE GONNA GO OUT.
- WHY ARE YOU GOING OUT? - JUST 'CAUSE.
HE'S TAKING ME OUT ON A DATE.
- OKAY. - SO CAN YOU?
- UH, YEAH. I GUESS SO. - GREAT. THANK YOU.
- I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY ABOUT TELLING YOU
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE ON MY CAMPAIGN.
OKAY? - I'M SORRY TOO.
I'M SORRY THAT I WAS PUSHY AND OBNOXIOUS, AND I--
- IT'S OKAY. - SORRY.
- SO...NOW MY SPEECH IS NOT GOOD, AND AMBER HATES IT.
- WELL, THAT'S RUDE. - AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AND I NEED YOUR HELP.
- YEAH.
I WILL HELP YOU.
- OKAY. GREAT.
[loud rock music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ WE WERE WORKING PART-TIME ♪
♪ ALL THE TIME ♪
♪ AND WE WERE BANKING ON THE KINDNESS ♪
♪ OF STRANGERS AND LOVED ONES ♪
♪ AND THOSE THAT FALL BETWEEN ♪
♪ TO GIVE US EVERYTHING WE NEED ♪
- BOTTOMS UP. ONE, TWO...
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OUT. I'M THE NEW GUITAR PLAYER.
VOTE. HE'S OUT OF THE BAND, RIGHT?
[cell phone ringing]
OH, CRAP, IT'S MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
- WHAT, YOU'RE MARRIED? - OKAY, COACH...
KEEP THE PARTY GOING. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- I HAVE A FAVOR. I'M ON MY WAY TO THE DOCTOR'S,
AND HE'S RUNNING LATE, SO CAN YOU PICK UP JABBAR?
- UM, RIGHT-- RIGHT NOW, JABBAR?
- HE'S AT STORY HOUR
AT THE LINCOLN CHILD DEVELOPMENT CENTER,
RIGHT THERE ON ALAMEDA. CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
- UM, YEAH, YEAH. I CAN HELP YOU OUT.
- ARE YOU OKAY?
WHAT'S ALL THAT MUSIC?
- I'M--I'M AT WORK. IT'S, UM, WORK MUSIC.
BUT I TOTALLY GOT YOU COVERED.
SO, UM, HE'S MY KID, AND I GOT IT.
- ARE YOU SURE?
- NO, NO, NO. I'LL BE THERE.
AND THEN YOU GO-- GO TO THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,
'CAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT, AND I GOT HIM.
OKAY? BYE-BYE.
- OKAY.
OKAY.
[phone ringing]
- BRAVERMAN RESIDENCE?
- HEY, KRISTINA, IS ADAM THERE?
- UH, IT'S GABY. - OH, UM, HI, GABY.
IT'S CROSBY. - YEAH, I KNOW.
ADAM'S STILL AT WORK, AND KRISTINA'S UPSTAIRS,
AND HADDIE ACTUALLY JUST WENT OUT TO CVS
TO PICK UP A POSTER BOARD,
AND I WAS ACTUALLY ON MY WAY OUT TO PILATES.
- THAT WAS A LOT OF INFORMATION.
- DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO KRISTINA?
- NO, NO, NO, DON'T PUT HER ON, PLEASE.
COULD, UM...
- ARE YOU DRUNK?
- YOU EVER GO TO THE DRIVE-IN IN THIS CAR?
- THIS IS STUPID. - I'M FINE.
WHERE ARE MY ALTOIDS, BY THE WAY?
- WHY--WHY DON'T I JUST GO IN THERE AND GET HIM MYSELF?
- MM-MM. YOU BARELY KNOW JABBAR.
DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT STRANGER DANGER?
HE WON'T EVEN COME TO YOU.
WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
- WHO IS HE? - JASMINE'S BROTHER.
WILL YOU HOLD THAT? - NO, NO, NO.
CROSBY, WAIT. CROSBY, I DON'T THINK--
- YO, HEY, SUDOKU.
WHAT ARE YOU--WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?
- I'M GOING TO GET JABBAR.
- NO, NO, I'M HERE. YOUR MOM CALLED ME.
- YEAH, THEN SHE CALLED ME, AND SHE SAID YOU SOUNDED DRUNK.
- THAT'S RIDICULOUS, DUDE. I'M NOT DRUNK.
- DUDE, I CAN SMELL THE BOOZE FROM HERE, ALL RIGHT?
- YOU CAN SMELL THE BOOZE FROM THERE?
- YEAH. WHO'S THAT GIRL RIGHT THERE?
- THAT'S GABY. SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
WE'RE GONNA PICK HIM UP-- - YEAH.
- SO, HEY, HEY, YOU CAN JUST GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS--
- DON'T TOUCH ME, MAN. DO NOT TOUCH ME.
- WE'RE HERE TO PICK UP JABBAR, SO YOU CAN JUST--
HEY, HEY, I'M TALK-- I'M TALKING TO YOU, MAN.
- DON'T YOU EVER PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME AGAIN, ALL RIGHT?
- HOLD ON A SECOND. HOLD ON A SECOND.
- YOU WANT TO DO THIS, HUH? - OKAY, OKAY.
I'M GONNA GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
CROSBY, LET'S GO. - SOBER UP, DUDE.
- OKAY, GO INSIDE. - YOU'RE JUST THE UNCLE, DUDE.
- CROSBY, LET IT GO. - I'M THE DAD.
- CROSBY, LET IT GO. - OKAY.
- YOU DON'T WANT JABBAR TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS, LET'S GO.
- DID YOU SEE THAT? - COME ON, LET'S GO.
- HE JUST PUSHED ME. - I SAW.
- HEY. [chuckles]
- HEY, YOU.
WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR?
- NOW I'M LOOKING FOR THE WOMEN'S TURBO SHOCK 1,000 FLYER.
IT HAS A GEL INSOLE AND PROMOTES WORLD PEACE.
[chuckles]
- THREE ROWS DOWN OVER THAT WAY.
- I KNOW.
BUT THE SHOES ARE OVER THERE,
AND YOU ARE OVER HERE.
SO...
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR THE OTHER NIGHT.
- YEAH, I HAD A GREAT TIME. - YOU DID?
- YEAH. - IT WAS REALLY COOL.
SO THANKS. - COOL.
- YOU WANT TO GO OUT SOMETIME...
WITH ME? - YES.
SORRY, THAT WAS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND, UH...
WEIRD. - COMPLETELY AWESOME.
- OH, OKAY. GOOD. OKAY.
I'M GONNA LEAVE NOW BEFORE I GET RUN OVER.
- WHAT IF I BRING IN SOME HOME VIDEOS?
YOU KNOW?
THAT'D BE A PRETTY GOOD PRESENTATION.
- [groans] ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HOBBY DAY STILL?
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I CAN'T HELP IT.
I'M, LIKE, THE OPPOSITE OF THE WORLD'S MOST INTERESTING MAN.
I HAVE NO LIFE. - NO, YOU HAVE ME,
AND YOU HAVE SYD-- THAT'S PLENTY.
- MM.
FOR HOBBY DAY? - OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS.
UM... - OKAY.
- [sighs] ADAM USED TO COLLECT STAMPS.
SARAH USED TO COLLECT THOSE LITTLE CERAMIC HORSES...
- I'M NOT DOING CERAMIC HORSES. - I KNOW.
THOUGH, HOW ABOUT THIS?
THE TOY ROCKETS THAT DAD AND CROSBY USED TO SET OFF--
THOSE ARE COOL.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
- TOY ROCKETS-- THAT'S NOT BAD.
- IT'S A GOOD IDEA. - YEAH.
YEAH. - WHAT ABOUT BABY-MAKING?
DOES THAT COUNT AS A HOBBY?
WE COULD DO SOME OF THAT. - YEAH, YOU KNOW...
I DON'T KNOW IF TECHNICALLY IT COUNTS AS A HOBBY,
BUT IT WOULD BE ONE HELL OF A PRESENTATION.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE MRS. BREWSTER'S FACE?
SCANDAL IN THE KINDERGARTEN, NEWS AT 6:00.
- DADDY, I CAN'T FIND MY PHINEAS AND FERB.
- [whispering] SHE'S LIKE A SILENT NINJA.
[knock on door] - HELLO?
RENEE?
- WHAT DO YOU WANT, CROSBY?
- I'M LOOKING FOR JABBAR.
- MOM TOOK HIM TO THE PARK ALREADY.
YOU NORMALLY WALK INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES UNINVITED?
- UH, YEAH, WHEN MY SON LIVES IN THEM.
DO YOU NORMALLY DO YOUR LAUNDRY AT MOMMY'S?
- MY MACHINE IS BROKEN. WHAT ABOUT IT?
- THAT'S PRETTY LAME.
- WHERE DO YOU DO YOUR LAUNDRY?
- THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUS-- YOU KNOW WHAT, DUDE?
NOT THAT I HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU,
BUT THE GIRL LAST NIGHT...
THAT'S MY AUTISTIC NEPHEW'S BEHAVIORAL AIDE.
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US.
WHEN YOUR MOM CALLED, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF CELEBRATING
FINISHING A BIG ALBUM, AND I WAS IN NO POSITION TO DRIVE,
SO I CALLED MY BROTHER'S HOUSE.
SHE PICKED UP, OFFERED TO DRIVE ME.
I SAID, "FINE."
THAT'S ALL THAT HAPPENED. - OKAY, WHATEVER.
- NO, NO, NOT "WHATEVER."
I WAS OFF THE CLOCK.
IT WAS YOUR MOM'S DAY WITH JABBAR YESTERDAY.
AND IF I KNEW SHE WAS GONNA NEED ME,
I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DRINKING.
I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN AT THE PARTY.
- YOU'RE WORRIED THAT I'M GONNA GO TELL JASMINE.
- YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO.
I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY UNCOOL,
SO I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST YOU, BUT GO CRAZY.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK, CROSBY?
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A FATHER,
YOU'D KNOW YOU'RE NEVER OFF THE CLOCK.
- YES, THURSDAY NIGHT WE'RE ON. THAT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK TO YOU THEN.
BYE. [phone beeps]
HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HEY.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR AMBER. IS SHE HERE?
- HEY, GUYS. - HEY.
- OH, HADDIE, HAVE YOU MET HOLLY?
- NO. HI.
- WE'RE WORKING ON A PROJECT THING.
- I'M TELLING ALL MY JUNIOR FRIENDS TO VOTE FOR YOU.
- AW. - THANKS. COOL.
- SEE YOU.
- SHE SEEMS NICE. - THAT'S HOLLY.
- THAT'S WEIRD. - DAY TWO.
AH? CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT?
- UH, YEAH. IT'S PALPABLE.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR AMBER FOR...
UM, I REDID MY SPEECH, AND I WANTED HER TO READ IT.
- OH.
WELL, I'M HERE. I COULD LOOK AT IT.
- YEAH.
YEAH, PLEASE. YES.
- YEAH? - YEAH, THANKS.
- GOOD. - YEAH, MAYBE YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO GIVE ME A FRESH PERSPECTIVE.
- LET'S SEE.
- ANOTHER DRAFT.
- [sighs] HEY.
- HI. - I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE.
IT'S JUST... - IT'S OKAY.
- IT WAS A CRAZY DAY. - DID YOU GET ANYTHING TO EAT?
- YEAH, I HAD SOME CRAP AT WORK.
GORDON WAS CALLING ME ALL DAY LONG FROM MENLO PARK.
HE'S AT THIS INVESTOR CONFERENCE...
- AY. - ASKING ME HOW I CAN CUT COSTS.
I'M GOING OVER THE COST REPORTS, AND I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT TO DO, AND IT'S NOT PRETTY.
- WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?
- HEY, LISTEN, ABOUT THURSDAY...
- UH-HUH?
- I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU'D BE WILLING
TO MOVE IT BY ONE WEEK TO NEXT THURSDAY.
IT WOULD MAKE THINGS A LOT EASIER FOR ME.
- SURE. - I KNOW YOU WANT TO GO OUT.
- THAT'S FINE. - AND I DO TOO.
- NO, ABSOLUTELY, 100%. WHATEVER YOU NEED.
- [sighs]
- THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID WOULD HAPPEN.
THIS IS HOW-- - WHO?
- THIS IS HOW WE BECOME ONE OF THE 80%.
- WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT'S 80%? - SUZE LESSING.
- SUZE LESSING? - SUZE LESSING TOLD ME TODAY
THAT 80% OF COUPLES THAT HAVE CHILDREN WITH AUTISM
END UP GETTING DIVORCED
BECAUSE THEY DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER.
- THIS IS ALL ABOUT SUZE LESSING?
- IT'S NOT ABOUT SUZE LESSING, OKAY?
HER THERAPIST TOLD HER THIS STATISTIC.
IT'S A TRUE THING. - NO. HELLO?
MAYBE THERE'S A REASON THOSE TWO KOOKS ARE IN THERAPY.
- THEY'RE NOT KOOKS, HONEY. THEY'RE NOT CONNECTING, OKAY?
- HONEY, WE ARE NOT PHIL AND SUZE LESSING.
- I'M JUST ASKING FOR ONE NIGHT.
THAT'S ALL I WAS ASKING FOR WAS JUST FOR ONE NIGHT.
- OKAY. I SEE THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU,
AND WE'RE GONNA GO OUT THIS THURSDAY.
OKAY?
- HEY. WE GOT TO GO.
- I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE.
- OH, NO. - YES.
- OKAY. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TODAY?
DO YOU HAVE YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT?
- YEAH.
- WILL BE WORKING ON IT WITH YOUR LAB PARTNER?
- WOW. YES.
- AGAIN. WOW.
- SHE IS MY LAB PARTNER, SO IT MAKES SENSE.
- YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.
- NO, I DOUBT THAT.
- OH, OKAY.
I THINK YOU LIKE HER TOO.
IS IT EMBARRASSING?
- I'M NOT EMBARRASSED. IT'S JUST--I DON'T--
I MEAN, I GOT AN "A" IN SCIENCE LAST YEAR,
AND SHE GOT A "D."
SO SHE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST TRYING TO GET A GOOD GRADE.
- I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU KNOW, GIRLS LIKE IT WHEN A GUY MAKES THE FIRST MOVE.
- THIS IS A REALLY WEIRD CONVERSATION.
- I'M SERIOUS, HONEY-- THE WAY SHE TALKS TO YOU,
AND, YOU KNOW, TOUCHES YOU UNNECESSARILY,
LAUGHS AT ALL YOUR JOKES-- NOT THAT THEY'RE NOT FUNNY.
"WHOO! SCIENCE! YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT SCIENCE!"
SHE LIKES YOU.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO ACT ON IT...
IN A, YOU KNOW, REASONABLE WAY. - THIS IS TOO WEIRD.
THIS IS THE WEIRDEST CONVERSATION WE'VE EVER HAD.
- HONEY, LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE AMAZING.
WHO COULD NOT LOVE YOU?
HUH? I ASK YOU, WHO?
- AMBER...MAYBE. - OH.
- [sighs]
- OKAY, HONEY, HIT ME. - OKAY, SO IT'S EITHER
HARBOR CAFE AT 7:30 OR BASTIDE'S AT 8:00.
- UH, HARBOR CAFE SOUNDS GOOD.
- HARBOR CAFE? REALLY?
WELL, BASTIDE GOT 4 1/2 STARS.
- HONEY, JUST YOU PICK.
IF YOU'RE HAPPY, I'M HAPPY, OKAY?
LOOK, I GOT TO GO OVER THESE COST REPORTS, OKAY?
I LOVE YOU. BYE.
[phone beeps]
- BASTIDE.
- WHAT'S UP, BUTTERBEAN?
- YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THAT?
HOW? - YEAH, GABY TALKED TO KRISTINA.
- GAB-- - YEAH, GABY, KRISTINA, ADAM.
- I DIDN'T REALIZE SHE WAS LIKE THAT.
YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. LOOK AT THIS.
- WHAT? - TWO MISSED CALLS FROM JASMINE.
- YEAH, SO?
- I THINK SEKOU RATTED ME OUT ALREADY.
AND FOR THE RECORD, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT GABY REPORTED BACK TO KRISTINA,
BUT I WOULD HAVE MOPPED THE FLOOR WITH HIM.
- OH, YOU WOULD, HUH?
YEAH, WELL, UH, DID YOU CALL HER BACK YET?
- NO, I DIDN'T CALL HER BACK. WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO HER?
- YOU'RE GONNA TELL HER THE TRUTH.
YOU'RE GONNA TELL HER
THAT YOU GOT DRUNK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON,
THAT YOU COPPED A RIDE FROM OUR ULTRA-HOT BEHAVIORAL AIDE
SO YOU COULD PICK UP YOUR SON,
AND THEN YOU GOT BEAT UP BY HER LITTLE BROTHER.
- I DIDN'T GET BEAT UP. - SHE'LL UNDERSTAND.
- I DID NOT GET BEAT UP, OKAY?
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU WANT MY ADVICE?
- YEAH, I WANT YOUR ADVICE.
- STEP ONE--APOLOGIZE TO RENEE. - FOR WHAT?
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. - THAT'S JUST--
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE A MAN, THAT'S WHAT MEN DO.
WE APOLOGIZE. I MEAN, I SAY THREE "I'M SORRYS"
WHEN I GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING, OKAY?
AND QUIT HALF-ASSING YOUR DAD GIG.
- WAIT A MINUTE. I AM NOT HALF-ASSING MY DAD GIG.
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
- LISTEN, CROSBY, YOU'RE PISSED OFF
ABOUT THE WHOLE CUSTODY SITUATION WITH JABBAR.
I GET THAT, OKAY?
BUT QUIT TRYING TO SELL IT TO YOURSELF
LIKE IT'S A GOOD THING AND GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
- THESE ENGINES ARE STILL GOOD.
I THINK ALL YOU'RE GONNA NEED ARE SOME IGNITERS.
- WHAT IS THIS?
- THAT IS THE ESTES BIG DADDY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE NEVER SHOT THAT OFF.
- IT'S HUMUNGOUS.
- OH, BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
IT'S GOT THE E9-4 ENGINE, SINGLE STAGE,
895 FEET OF ALTITUDE.
- WOW.
- IT'S GOT A DUAL-PARACHUTE RECOVERY MODULE.
MM-HMM. BEAUTIFUL.
- YEAH.
I CAN'T SHOOT THAT OFF.
- HOW COME? - OH, I DON'T KNOW.
UM, MAYBE A SCHOOL HAZARD.
I DON'T WANT TO BURN THE SCHOOL DOWN, SO...
- OH, I'M SORRY.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, DON'T YOU?
- MM-HMM. - SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
- THAT WOULD DO IT-- BLOWING UP THE SCHOOL.
THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THIS STUFF.
- I DO. - NO.
- I'LL SHOW YOU. - NO, NO.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ZEEK. [mumbling]
I DON'T--I DON'T HAVE A HOBBY
BECAUSE I DON'T-- I DON'T HAVE A--
I DON'T HAVE A LIFE.
- NOW, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- MY WHOLE LIFE IS--IS SYDNEY, ZEEK.
I MEAN, I-I WAKE HER UP,
I GET HER READY FOR SCHOOL, I TAKE HER,
AND THEN I DO LAUNDRY,
AND THEN I PICK HER UP FROM SCHOOL.
IT'S DINNER, BATH, BEDTIME,
AND THEN WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING,
I DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
IT'S JUST--THAT'S-- THAT'S MY JOB, YOU KNOW?
AND NOW APPARENTLY MY JOB IS TO BE THE COOL DAD
WITH A COOL HOBBY TO IMPRESS ALL HER FRIENDS.
SO I MEAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA SHOW 'EM HOW TO USE FABRIC SOFTENER PROPERLY?
- JOEL, I MEAN, REALLY,
THESE KIDS ARE KINDERGARTENERS, ALL RIGHT?
YOU COULD LIGHT YOUR OWN FART,
AND THEY'D THINK YOU WERE EINSTEIN.
I MEAN, COME ON.
- I KNOW. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE KIDS.
IT'S JUST-- - WELL--I MEAN, YOU KNOW...
YOU ARE MAKING WAY TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF THIS WHOLE THING.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE TO DO
AND THEN JUST HAVE FUN DOING IT.
IT'S NOT LIFE OR DEATH, FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOU'RE NOT INVOLVED IN, LIKE, MARRIAGE COUNSELING
LIKE I AM WITH CAMILLE.
ALL MY KIDS ARE RAISED. THEY GOT THEIR OWN PROBLEMS.
BUT I GOT REAL PROBLEMS GOING ON OUT THERE.
OKAY?
NOW, I AM GOING TO GO TO THE HOBBY SHOP.
TAKE IT EASY. GOD.
- I'M SORRY.
AND I PROMISE I'M GONNA FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO JABBAR AND MAKE SURE HE KNOWS
IT'S NOT OKAY TO FIGHT.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. HE DOESN'T KNOW.
- DIDN'T SEKOU TELL HIM?
- I'M SURE HE WANTED TO,
BUT HE KNOWS THAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER HIS BEHIND.
- WOW.
I, UM--I THOUGHT HE WOULD HAVE...
THANK YOU, RENEE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME. COME HERE. HELP ME.
NO STEMS, QUARTER-INCH PIECES.
OKAY? - OKAY.
- NO STEMS, QUARTER-INCH PIECES.
- OKAY.
THE SITUATION'S TOUGH, YOU KNOW,
WITH JASMINE OUT OF TOWN.
I THINK WE'RE ALL JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING...
- YOU SEE, THAT'S NOT HOW I SEE IT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,
BUT WHAT I SEE HAPPENING WITH MY GRANDSON
IS NOT GOOD.
- WELL, JASMINE'S A GREAT MOM. - NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I KNOW SHE'S DOING THE BEST SHE CAN.
BUT THE TRUTH IS,
SHE'S BEEN DRAGGING THAT POOR BOY ALL OVER CREATION--
SUMMERS IN NEW YORK,
THEN SHE MOVES HIM BACK HERE, AND SHE GOES TO EUROPE.
IT'S NOT GOOD.
- YEAH, WELL, IT'S HER DREAM.
- I KNOW THAT.
AND IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THE CHILD.
SO YOU NEED TO FIGURE IT OUT.
- I CAN'T JUST-- I CAN'T MAKE HER DO ANYTHING.
- NO, WHEN I SAY YOU, I DON'T MEAN YOU.
I MEAN THE BOTH OF YOU TOGETHER.
CHILDREN NEED STABILITY.
NOW, I KNOW IT'S MODERN AND FASHIONABLE
TO LIVE YOUR SEPARATE LIVES AND SPLIT TIME WITH YOUR KIDS,
BUT I THINK THAT IS A BUNCH OF BULL.
THAT BOY NEEDS HIS MAMA AND HIS DADDY.
SO EITHER YOU KNOW WHAT OR GET OFF THE POT.
- POOP? POOP OR GET OFF THE POT?
- [laughs] - IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE...?
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. - I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
- ♪ I'M A FOOL TO CARE ♪
- WHICH ONE IS THE METAPHASE, AND WHICH ONE IS THE ANAPHASE?
- THIS IS META-- THEY'RE ACTUALLY ON THE BACK.
- OH, I SHOULD HAVE READ IT.
- ♪ WHEN YOU TREAT ME... ♪
- WHERE'D THE GLUE STICK GO?
COULD YOU JUST, LIKE-- HERE, COULD YOU HOLD THAT?
- YES. - OH, HERE IT IS.
- ♪ I KNOW I LOVE YOU ♪ - OKAY, GOT IT.
- ♪ BUT WHAT CAN I DO? ♪ - [chuckles]
- ♪ I'M A FOOL... ♪ - ARE YOU OKAY?
- ME? YEAH. YEAH, TOTALLY, UH, FINE.
UH, METAPHASE.
- ALL RIGHT, JUST...
- ♪ I'M A FOOL TO CRY ♪
♪ WHEN YOU TELL ME GOOD-BYE ♪
- UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, HOLLY, I'M SO, SO, SO--I'M SO SORRY.
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT-- - OH, MY GOD.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE, LIKE, GIVING ME THIS SIGN.
- NO.
I GOT TO GO. - WAIT, DREW--
- HOLLY, I CAN'T GO. THIS IS MY HOUSE.
CAN YOU JUST GO? - DREW, I'M SO SORRY.
I LIKE YOU. NO, I DO.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THIS. - YOU'RE SMART.
- SERIOUSLY, JUST PLEASE GO.
- I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST DOING-- - WILL YOU PLEASE GO?
- ♪ SO WHY SHOULD I PRETEND? ♪
♪ I LOSE IN THE END ♪
♪ I'M A FOOL TO CARE ♪
[door closes]
- [sighs]
- OKAY, EVERYBODY, NOW, YOU READY?
THIS LAST ONE IS REALLY SPECIAL.
IT'S AN EAGLE SILVER DOLLAR MINTED IN 1796.
THAT'S OVER 200 YEARS AGO.
- CAN WE TOUCH IT?
- SORRY. SORRY.
YOUR FINGERS MIGHT MESS IT UP.
IT'S WORTH OVER $30,000.
- WHY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MR. FITTS.
WASN'T THAT GREAT, EVERYBODY?
THANK YOU, MR. FITTS. [cheers and applause]
THANK YOU.
THE NEXT PRESENTATION IS BY SYDNEY'S FATHER.
CAN WE SAY, "GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. GRAHAM"?
all: GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. GRAHAM.
- HI. GOOD AFTERNOON, GUYS.
- WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
- LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
DO YOU GUYS LIKE WOOD?
- HOW ABOUT THESE PANTS?
- NO, I LIKE THESE CLOTHES THAT I HAVE.
- IF YOU TRY THESE ON,
I'LL GIVE YOU A STICKER. - ONE PAIR.
ONE PAIR.
JUST ONE.
- IT'S WORKING. - HEY, UNCLE CROSBY.
- HEY. - IT'S FRUSTRATING.
- I'M JUST, UH, HERE TO GET MY LAUNDRY.
- OH, AND, MOM, BY "ONE PAIR,"
I MEAN YOU ONLY GET ONE PAIR PER STICKER.
- I UNDERSTAND THAT.
- SO IF YOU WANT ME TO TRY ON ANOTHER PAIR,
YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER STICKER.
- HEY, UM...
I WANTED TO SAY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
THE OTHER DAY.
THAT WAS NOT MY FINEST PARENTING HOUR.
- IT'S OKAY.
I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD APOLOGIZE.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD KRISTINA. I'M SORRY.
SHE SORT OF GOT IT OUT OF ME, YOU KNOW?
- SHE'S LIKE A COLD WAR INTERROGATOR, YEAH.
- [laughs]
- UM, HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
- SURE.
- DO YOU THINK I'M HALF-ASSING MY GIG AS A DAD
IF I LET JABBAR LIVE AT HIS GRANDMA'S?
- I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- HMM. IS THAT LIKE A WEIRD THERAPY TRICK,
WHERE YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION?
- KIND OF SORT OF.
AND IF YOU'RE GOOD, YOU MIGHT GET A STICKER.
- [sighs]
I DON'T KNOW.
LOOK, I WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR JABBAR,
AND HE LOVES RENEE, AND, YOU KNOW,
SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF HIM.
AND IT'S WHAT JASMINE WANTS,
BUT...
I DON'T KNOW.
- IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.
- YEAH, EXACTLY.
I MEAN, I LOVE HIM TO DEATH, SO, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STEP UP AND TAKE ON THE WHOLE ENCHILADA.
- OKAY, SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- WELL, THE PROBLEM IS--
AND I HOPE THIS DOESN'T SHOCK YOU...
[whispering] BUT I'M A BIT OF A SCREW-UP.
AND TO BE TOTALLY HONEST,
I KIND OF LIKE MY FREEDOM.
THEN I THINK, "MAN, HOW SELFISH.
WHAT KIND OF DAD DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH HIS KID ALL THE TIME?"
THEN I GO, "OH, MAYBE THE KIND THAT WILL FALL ASLEEP
"WHILE HE'S SWIMMING OR FORGET TO PICK HIM UP
"AT SOCCER PRACTICE OR, YOU KNOW, FEEDS HIM
THE WRONG TYPE OF LACTAID--"
- CROSBY? - YEAH.
I KNOW. I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE.
- NO, I JUST--
I THINK YOU'D BE A GREAT FULL-TIME DAD.
- FOR REAL? - MM-HMM.
- THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME.
- NO WAY. WHO DID THIS?
WAS THAT YOU? THAT IS SUPER COOL.
- WHAT IS IT?
- MORE PAPER? OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OH, THAT'S COOL, GUYS.
HEY, IS THIS GOING ON THE FRONT OF THAT?
- YEAH. - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO?
YOU GUYS NEEDS MORE?
OKAY.
- OKAY, BRILLIANT.
ARE YOU FREE NEXT WEEK?
- OH, YEAH.
THEY'RE KIND OF INTO IT, RIGHT? - OH, GOD, YEAH.
YEAH.
- I'M MAKING THE HAMSTER.
HIS NAME IS ERNIE.
- THAT'S A GOOD NAME. - YOUR DAD IS AWESOME.
- I KNOW.
- HONEY, I NEED YOU TO PUT DOWN THE GAME AND EAT.
- I CAN'T. PEAS GOT ON THE MACARONI.
- UGH, BABE, IT'S FINE.
YOU NEED TO EAT YOUR SUPPER. - NO, IT'S NOT!
PEAS GOT ON THE MACARONI.
I JUST TOLD YOU IT'S NOT FINE.
- WHERE'S YOUR FATHER?
- HE'S PROBABLY WORKING.
HE SAID HE HAS TO DO COST REPORTS.
- HEY, MOM, CAN I-- WHAT? WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU-- - DO YOU LIKE MY DRESS?
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT YOUR SPEECH. I THINK YOU SHOULD ADD IN
THAT YOU WERE ROOM REP IN EIGHTH GRADE.
I THINK IT'S A PHENOMENAL IDEA.
- UH-HUH. RIGHT.
THAT JUST WOULDN'T REALLY FIT INTO MY SPEECH.
- YES, IT WOULD.
- RIGHT, WELL, AUNT SARAH AND I REPLACED THAT PART WITH A JOKE.
- WHAT'D YOU SAY?
- UM, NOTHING. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
- AUNT SARAH? - IT WAS JUST FUNNIER THAT WAY.
[car horn honks] - HONEY, THE SPEECH WAS PERFECT.
- I HAVE TO GO. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- UH, A BASKETBALL GAME, AND THEY'RE ANNOUNCING
THE CANDIDATES, AND IT'S REQUIRED.
OTHERWISE--I DIDN'T KNOW.
- YOU'RE NOT GOING BECAUSE YOU'RE BABYSITTING.
- NO, I HAVE TO GO. - THAT'S WHY I'M ALL DRESSED UP.
- NO, I CAN STAY BY MYSELF.
- THERE'S SOMEONE HONKING IN THE DRIVEWAY.
HEY, WHY IS OUR BABYSITTER HEADING OUT THE FRONT DOOR?
HADDIE! - BECAUSE THEY'RE ANNOUNCING HER
AT HALFTIME WITH THE CANDIDATES.
I DON'T KNOW. I TOLD HER SHE HAD TO DO IT,
AND SHE'S A SNOT.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE'RE NOT GOING OUT, HONEY.
THIS IS TOO HARD. - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE ARE GOING OUT.
- OKAY, WHO'S GONNA BABY-SIT?
- FIRST OF ALL, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
I AM GOING TO CALL MY MOM AND DAD.
- WELL, THANK YOU. YOUR DAD AND YOUR MOM?
YOUR DAD TAKES, LIKE, FOUR HOURS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.
- I WILL TELL THEM TO HURRY. WE ARE GOING OUT.
- OKAY.
IT'S NOT BASTIDE, BUT IT'S SOMETHING.
- I KNOW, BUT WE'RE HERE.
EVERYBODY LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
IT'S KITSCHY, IT'S FUN. - IT'S GOOD.
I JUST WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT.
- IT IS PERFECT, OKAY?
WE'RE ALONE. WE'RE TOGETHER. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
- BRAVERMAN? PARTY OF TWO?
- RIGHT HERE. - THAT'S US.
THAT'S CUTE.
- WELCOME TO THE SWANKY CRAB.
- STANKY CRAB.
[children shouting]
OH, MY GOD. - WHAT?
- NOTHING. - WAIT, WAIT, WHOA.
- HEY. - ADAM.
- WHAT'S UP, MIKE?
- ADAM. LOOK IT, KRISTINA.
IT'S MIKE FROM WORK. - HOW'S IT GOING, MIKE?
- WHAT'S UP, BOSS MAN? - HELLO.
- SO WE WERE-- THAT'S SO CRAZY.
WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO ORDER
RIGHT HERE AT THIS TABLE.
- SHOULD I SET YOUR PLACES OVER HERE?
- YEAH, SURE.
OF COURSE.
YEAH, GREAT.
MORNING.
- MY SWEET ANGEL, HOW ARE YA?
- GOOD, DAD. MORNING, MOM.
MORNING, DREW.
- MORNING, SWEETIE.
- WHOO! LOOK AT THAT SHIRT.
YOU NEVER WEAR THAT.
IS IT SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL?
- UM, UH, NO, MOM, IT'S NOT.
- HONEY.
[door opens, closes]
DREW, HONEY.
DREW. - OH, MY GOD, MOM, WHAT?
- WELL, TALK TO ME, OKAY?
DON'T JUST LEAVE. - LOOK...
- WHAT'S WRONG?
- EVERYTHING, OKAY, MOM?
YOUR ADVICE, HOLLY-- SHE--
I TRIED TO KISS HER, OKAY?
AND SHE TOTALLY REJECTED ME.
NOW SHE HATES ME. - OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
- LOOK, I DON'T CARE, MOM, IF YOU'RE SORRY,
HONESTLY, BECAUSE, LOOK, I'VE TOLD YOU
I DON'T WANT YOUR ADVICE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I'VE TOLD YOU THAT, AND YOU JUST KEEP
TELLING ME THINGS, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
- WELL, I'M YOUR MOTHER. I WAS TRYING TO HELP.
- LOOK, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, YOU MESSED THIS UP. WHAT I NEED'S MY DAD.
AND YOU SCREWED THAT UP FOR ME.
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, OKAY?
[knocking at door]
- HEY.
DAD'S GONNA LAUNCH THE ROCKET.
WE MIGHT NEED YOU TO CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
JIMMY KOOP ASKED ME TO THE EIGHTH-GRADE DANCE.
HE WAS REALLY SMART...
SKINNY, LIKE YOU.
I WAS SO EXCITED.
HE SAID HE'D MEET ME THERE.
AND I STOOD OUT IN FRONT OF THE GYM...
AND WAITED.
AND I WAITED.
AND HE NEVER SHOWED UP.
WHEN DAD CAME TO PICK ME UP, I WAS CRYING AND CRYING.
AND HE SAID...
"SWEETHEART, BOYS ARE LIKE BUSES.
IF YOU MISS ONE, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE COMING."
- HEY, MOM...
I KNOW IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT DAD LEFT.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
- IT'S OKAY, SWEETHEART.
I MISS HIM SOMETIMES TOO.
- IS YOUR FOOT GETTING BIGGER?
- NO, NO, I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO TIE MY SHOES.
- OH, YOU WANT TO TIE IT?
- YEAH. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT.
- ♪ I MUST HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ♪
- HELLO. - OH, MY GOD.
- MOMMY'S HOME.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - HEY!
- YA-YA-YA-YA-YA.
- I MISSED YOU.
- OH, MY GOD. - HEY.
[laughs]
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED-- AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE IN HOLLAND?
- IN BRUSSELS. - IN BRUSSELS.
- YEAH. - IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- UM, WELL, I...
- DID YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY?
- NO.
I LEFT THE COMPANY.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
- HOW COME?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT
THAT IT WAS EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED,
AND FOR TWO HOURS EVERY NIGHT DURING PERFORMANCES,
IT WAS AMAZING, AND IT WAS WONDERFUL.
BUT THE REST OF THE TIME WAS LIVING OUT OF SUITCASES
AND FEELING SAD AND LONELY
AND MISSING MY FAMILY.
- YOU MISSED YOUR FAMILY?
- A LOT. - MISSING ME?
- YEAH, YOU. [giggles]
- WE MISSED YOU.
MMM.
- SO... - MMM.
- I MADE MY DECISION. HERE I AM.
- WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE HEREHERE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK TO-- YOU'RE HERE FOR GOOD?
- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.
- WHAT? - [laughs]
- MMM. MMM.
OH, YES. - SO WHAT'S UP?
YOU GUYS GOING SOMEWHERE? WHAT'S GOING ON?
- GRANDPA'S HAVING A BIG PARTY.
- OH, HE IS, IS HE?
- IT'S, UH, LIKE, A FAMILY THING FOR HADDIE.
SHE WON STUDENT-COUNCIL PRESIDENT OR SOMETHING.
- GOOD FOR HER. WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
LET'S GET YOUR SHOES ON. - MOM, I LEARNED
HOW TO TIE MY SHOES.
- YOU TAUGHT HIM HOW TO TIE HIS SHOES?
- YEAH, WHATEVER.
WE KNOW HOW TO TIE OUR SHOES NOW--
NO BIG DEAL.
- COME HERE. GET UP HERE.
- WE LIKE YOU. WE'RE HAPPY YOU'RE HOME.
- MMM.
- "AND I WILL MAKE YOUR IDEAS HAPPEN,
"STARTING WITH REMOVING THE BAN ON FREAK DANCING
"AND GETTING BETTER FOOD IN THE SNACK SHACK.
"ANYWAYS, VOTE FOR ME. I'M HADDIE BRAVERMAN.
"I WANT TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT.
SI, SE PUEDE."
AND THEN I THREW CANDY INTO THE AUDIENCE.
- GO, HADDIE!
- THAT'S VERY GOOD. DID YOU WRITE THAT?
- UH, YEAH, YEAH, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES BEFORE.
I WAS JUST STRESSED OUT.
- IT'S OKAY.
- HADDIE, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU, NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU WON,
BUT BECAUSE OF HOW YOU CONDUCTED YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT, MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU WON.
CONGRATULATIONS.
- CHEERS. THERE YOU GO.
HEAR, HEAR.
- I FORGOT THE CAKE AT PRIMOS.
- YOU DID? - I DIDN'T PICK IT UP.
- DADDY, HELP HER. - WE CAN'T HAVE A CELEBRATION
WITHOUT A CAKE. - HADDIE, I FORGOT THE CAKE.
- WE'RE GONNA GO GET YOUR CAKE.
WE GOT TO GO TO PRIMOS. MOM FORGOT THE CAKE.
- ♪ IN A TIME WHEN YOUR WORD WAS TRUE ♪
- HONEY, YOU MISSED THE TURN.
- I KNOW.
- ♪ YOU GAVE YOUR HEART TO THE ONES ♪
[tires screeching, horn honking]
♪ ♪
♪ YOU GAVE THE HEART WHAT IT WANTED MORE ♪
♪ ♪
all: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
4, 3, 2, 1.
[all screaming]
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
- ♪ MAYBE TIME WILL ERASE ♪
♪ SOMETHING ♪
♪ ♪
♪ YOU RAN AWAY WITH A LOVE THAT CONQUERED ♪
♪ ♪
♪ TOO LONG IN THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ TOO LONG IN THE DUST ♪
♪ ♪
♪ GIVE YOURSELF TO A LOVE THAT CONQUERS ♪