1
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,511
TOMMY: What's up, lover?
2
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,762
PAM: Hey, baby.
3
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,056
TOMMY: Fuck! Baby. Look at you.
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,433
Holy shit!
5
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,184
Whoo! Babe.
6
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,103
TOMMY: Baby, I love you!
7
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,563
I love you, lover.
8
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:23,314
PAM: Fuck!
9
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,235
TOMMY: Wow! Fuck! You are so hot.
10
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,029
- PAM: Baby.
- TOMMY: Baby.
11
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:32,866
PAM: You got it.
12
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,410
Fuck. Yes.
13
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:38,079
Yes! Oh, baby!
14
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,790
I love you so much. (YELPS)
15
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,917
(CHUCKLES) Careful, baby. Are you okay?
16
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586
- Don't hurt yourself.
- (TOMMY GROANS)
17
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:45,962
PAM: Yes! (EXCLAIMS)
18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,922
Fuck! I love you, gorgeous.
19
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,321
(WOMAN MOANING)
20
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,910
(BED CREAKING)
21
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,047
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
22
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,678
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
23
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,860
- Girls night!
- (ALL CHEERING)
24
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,278
- Cheers.
- Girls.
25
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,658
You know what?
26
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,036
- I am done with bad boys.
- Here we go.
27
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,122
I am. I'm so over the fights,
28
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,040
- the drama...
- I've heard this before.
29
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,669
You know what I want?
Some like nice, sweet, regular guy.
30
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,504
- You know? Somebody boring...
- Yes!
31
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,089
who's a doctor or lawyer.
32
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,216
- Yes!
- An accountant.
33
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,677
Please not an accountant.
34
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,428
- Okay.
- It'll be nice. It'll be so nice!
35
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,597
I could just stay home,
you know, cook dinner,
36
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,225
watch a movie, just, you know,
chill on the couch.
37
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,351
Who with? The dogs?
38
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,562
My dog and my cute,
boring accountant boyfriend.
39
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,730
Pammy, girl,
that is so what you need.
40
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:31,151
I know, I know. These rock stars,
actors are fucking crazy.
41
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,486
- All of them.
- Forget it! It's so not worth it.
42
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,779
I've been telling you that.
43
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,030
- I am done...
- MELANIE: Yes.
44
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,365
- with self-obsessed.
- Yes.
45
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,534
- I am done with high maintenance.
- MELANIE: Yes!
46
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,328
- Hallelujah!
- You know what? From now on,
47
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,706
bad boys are out and good boys are in.
48
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,666
ALL: Yes!
49
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,668
- To accountant.
- Accountant!
50
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,211
- I love it!
- Yeah!
51
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,255
(ALL CHEERING)
52
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,426
- Let's get shots.
- Tequila.
53
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,803
- No. Goldschlager.
- Ooh!
54
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,306
For like the whole fucking club!
55
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,099
(EXCLAIMING)
56
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,519
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
57
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,951
Compliments of Pamela Anderson.
58
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,581
- Who?
- Pamela Anderson.
59
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,187
Fuck you, Tommy.
60
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,730
Oh, shit! Go, Tommy.
61
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,440
- For what?
- It's just this work thing.
62
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,567
And the producers are
flying out a bunch of,
63
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,528
you know, syndicators and
affiliates to this big fancy resort
64
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,572
to schmooze them
and preview the new season.
65
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,740
And meet Pam Anderson.
66
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,200
- Yeah.
- That too.
67
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,535
The shit you have to go through
with these guys!
68
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:05,787
It's fine.
69
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,080
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
70
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,164
Ho
71
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,540
Ooh
72
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,336
Hit it
73
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,338
Ho
74
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,048
Ooh
75
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:18,716
Come on
76
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,806
(MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO)
77
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,492
Yes, lick me.
78
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:45,576
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
79
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,205
Girls. Yes.
80
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,165
Here comes the beat. Yes!
81
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,093
Opa!
82
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,096
I'm Greek.
83
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,016
I'm Pam.
84
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,688
- Yeah!
- (ALL CHEERING)
85
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:53,102
We look down and there's this like,
long trail of ants and he just...
86
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,687
- Ants?
- No!
87
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:58,608
- I shit you not! We're like, "Yes!"
- No!
88
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,985
Oh!
89
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:06,449
- Hey, I got to go drain the main vein.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay.
90
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,535
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
91
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,120
- MELANIE: Pam?
- Yes, yes, yes, what?
92
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,830
- He is trouble.
- Oh, God!
93
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,375
Will you relax, Melanie, please?
Please, Mel. Please.
94
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,168
Promise me you're not gonna date him.
95
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,170
No. Of course, I'm not gonna date him.
I'm not
96
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,881
- Promise?
- I am not gonna date him.
97
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,300
He's just, you know,
he's just funny, is all.
98
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,511
Pammy, no! Good boys are in.
99
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,055
- Good boys are in.
- Good boys are in, I know that.
100
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,641
- I'm not gonna date him.
- Don't date him.
101
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,018
- I am not gonna date him. (CHUCKLES)
- Pinky.
102
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,063
(PAMELA CHUCKLES)
103
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,441
I'm okay, really. I'm okay.
104
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,902
Hey, it's a very dangerous lot.
105
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,070
Oh, yeah, sure.
106
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,947
- Lot of murderers.
- (CHUCKLES)
107
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,491
I got to go.
108
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,826
- It's not even 4:00.
- I know.
109
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,994
I have to see you again tomorrow.
110
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,663
It is tomorrow.
111
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,164
Perfect! Where are we going?
112
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,712
(CHUCKLES) Okay. I gotta go.
113
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,423
(INHALES) I'm, um...
114
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,758
- I'm leaving for work in a few hours.
- To where?
115
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,344
- Cancun.
- I fucking love Cancun!
116
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,847
- For work!
- Not if Tommy comes.
117
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:12,932
Tommy, what are you...
118
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,769
- Hey! I'm coming.
- (EXCLAIMS)
119
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,814
What? You are not. You are not coming.
120
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,149
Coming is what I do best.
121
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,026
- Come on.
- Good night.
122
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,319
- No, come on, pretty please.
- Tommy.
123
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,446
- Can I come with you?
- Goodnight. No.
124
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,655
- Pretty please with sugar on top.
- No. Uh-uh.
125
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,198
- With sugar and sprinkles and a cherry?
- No way. No way. (CHUCKLES)
126
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,283
No.
127
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,704
- Good night, Tommy.
- (EXHALES) Fine.
128
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,251
- Okay. Only under one condition.
- What?
129
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,712
(FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
130
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,390
(PHONE RINGING)
131
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,435
MACHINE: Hey, it's me.
You know what to do.
132
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,230
(TOMMY SINGING)
133
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,608
Tommy Lee in Cancun.
134
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,777
Tommy Lee and his wiener
135
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,823
Are fucking coming to Cancun.
136
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,992
I don't have time for this.
137
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,957
MACHINE: Hey, it's me.
You know what to do.
138
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,376
TOMMY: Hola. Jawohl.
139
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,465
(INDISTINCT, SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
140
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,011
Cancun!
141
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:38,309
(IN A LOW VOICE AND SLOWLY)
Tommy is coming to Cancun.
142
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,106
- Do not come. - TOMMY: Pamela!
143
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,235
- Don't. - I am so stoked.
144
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,028
Tommy. Tommy?
145
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,738
Come on. We're gonna have a blast.
146
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,698
Do not come.
147
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,618
I'm fucking coming.
148
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,286
Goodbye, Tommy.
149
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,918
Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking...
150
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,545
- You okay?
- Hmm?
151
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,713
- You okay?
- Yeah, fine.
152
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,805
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
153
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,996
Hi, there. How are you?
154
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,956
Welcome to
the Ritz-Carlton, Miss Anderson.
155
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,040
Thank you.
156
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,125
These are your keys.
157
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,544
And these were left for you.
158
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,921
- Wow!
- Oh my God!
159
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,506
- Who is this from?
- Wow.
160
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,882
- Oh.
- There's the card, open it.
161
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,010
No, it's probably just a fan.
162
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,929
Come on, just fucking open it.
163
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,764
(MOUTHING)
164
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,268
- What does it say?
- I am opening it.
165
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,352
Mmm-hmm.
166
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,106
"Here's to a kick ass,
unforgettable weekend."
167
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,775
- From?
- Simon...
168
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:13,154
and the gang at
ITC Telepictures Worldwide."
169
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,365
- Beautiful.
- Wow!
170
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,745
MAN: Please welcome Pamela Anderson.
171
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,580
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
172
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,418
Yes!
173
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,509
Very beautiful.
174
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,679
Hi! How are you?
175
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,139
Such a pleasure to meet you.
176
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,641
- How's it going? Hi.
- Ever been to Grand Rapids?
177
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,059
You are massive there.
178
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,353
Brent Actors from KDFI.
179
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,520
Hi, Brent. Nice tie.
180
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,230
It is such an honor to meet you.
181
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,149
Wow! You're even prettier in person.
182
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,567
Oh! Firm shake. Hi.
183
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,902
Jim Zelner. Dayton, Ohio.
184
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,404
Oh, god. There's so many of you.
It's so exciting.
185
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,697
We're gonna have a fun time.
186
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,074
So, I have to ask.
187
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,409
Is Baywatch, like the best job?
188
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,119
Oh, yeah, I love it.
189
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,788
I get to go to the beach every day.
190
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,873
I understand you're from Canada.
191
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,875
- Yes, I am.
- I used to work in Calgary.
192
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,585
- Oh, wow.
- CBRT.
193
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:13,005
I was a station manager up there.
194
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,256
What part are you from?
195
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,633
I'm from Ladysmith.
196
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,635
Ladysmith? Where's that at?
197
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,012
Oh, near Vancouver, it's pretty small.
198
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,056
Vancouver, CIVT.
199
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,516
- Our sister station.
- Oh.
200
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,059
- Tell her the Jerry story.
- Actually...
201
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,769
Really funny story
about their transmitter...
202
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:27,853
I'm sorry.
203
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,605
Miss Anderson,
there's a phone call for you.
204
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,732
- He says, it's urgent.
- Oh. Who?
205
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,776
A Mister Wiener.
206
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,406
A Hugh G. Wiener.
207
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,075
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)
208
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,915
Excuse me.
209
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,753
Are you crazy?
210
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,547
TOMMY: Kinda, yeah.
211
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,631
(SCOFFS)
212
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,049
How did you find me?
213
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,261
Easy. Just called every hotel
in the Cancun area.
214
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,512
Oh my God!
215
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,556
Ninety-third time's the charm.
216
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,809
Well, you do get points for effort,
but, you are...
217
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,102
still not coming down.
218
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:09,854
You're right.
219
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,690
Cause I'm already here.
220
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,609
- No, you're not. -(IN SING SONG VOICE) I'm here.
221
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,819
What?
222
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,237
- You don't believe me?
- Shut up.
223
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,739
Hear that?
224
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,867
That's fucking Mexico.
225
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:26,245
Hey! What's up, amigos?
226
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,080
Yo soy Tommy Lee.
227
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,375
El mucho sexy drummer de Mötley Crüe.
228
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,878
- Whoo!
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
229
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,088
Where we all hanging tonight?
230
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,173
We all?
231
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:40,092
Yeah, you and your girls
and me and my boys.
232
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:42,720
Your boys?
233
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,222
Yep. Come on,
I wasn't going to come solo.
234
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,058
I didn't want you to think
I was some crazy psycho stalker.
235
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,977
(SCOFFS) Wouldn't want that.
236
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,606
So, where are we going?
237
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,316
PAM: Tommy, I'm here for work.
238
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,567
One drink.
239
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,235
No! I'm at a thing.
240
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,820
And you're bored out of your skull.
241
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,030
No, I'm not.
242
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,239
So are.
243
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,324
How do you know?
244
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,161
Kept you on the phone this long,
haven't I?
245
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,414
Figures were below the range and...
246
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,376
MAN: So, then he says, "Well,
maybe we can attach a signal boost."
247
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,253
- (CHUCKLES)
- I'm like, "Jerry,
248
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,964
you couldn't amplify that sucker enough
to reach Edmonton
249
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,341
much less Winnipeg."
250
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,092
(ALL CHUCKLING)
251
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,181
- I mean, I like the guy.
- Classic, Jimmy.
252
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,350
- I'm sorry, I'll be right back.
- MAN: Sure.
253
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:36,232
- MELANIE: This man is a stalker.
- He's not a stalker.
254
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,234
He followed you to Mexico
against your wishes.
255
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,735
That is the literal definition.
256
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,529
It's not like I'll be alone with him.
257
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,613
You guys will be there.
258
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,448
I know how these things start with you.
259
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,035
It's not like I even take him seriously.
260
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,537
That's how these things start with you.
261
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,871
You say it's not serious,
262
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,790
then you end up dating them
for three years.
263
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,750
Oh, my God! That is so not true.
264
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,378
Scott Baio.
265
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,130
Fine. One.
266
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,465
Bret Michaels?
267
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:02,758
David Charvet?
268
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,094
Melanie, come on.
I'm not staying in tonight.
269
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,846
Come on, we can make it a girls night.
270
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,223
Well, you know what?
271
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,393
When we go out, there's gonna be boys,
so it might as well be them.
272
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,478
Them?
273
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,189
- Oh, hell, no. Pam!
- (CHUCKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY)
274
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,734
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
275
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,253
- Look at you.
- (CHUCKLES)
276
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,797
You are, without a doubt...
277
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,134
- the most...
- I'm sorry.
278
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,345
I'm afraid the bar has a dress code.
279
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,975
I got a shirt and shoes.
280
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,602
I see that.
281
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,979
- But...
- But, what?
282
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,190
Tommy, it's okay.
283
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,609
It's not okay. (SCOFFS)
284
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,819
This dude is discriminating me.
285
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,946
Am I not wearing a shirt and shoes?
286
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,783
A dress code isn't always
just about shirt and shoes.
287
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,328
TOMMY: Okay. Okay. You know what?
288
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,496
Fuck you, bro.
289
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,831
Fuck you.
290
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,751
And fuck your stuffy-ass bar too.
291
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,504
All right, let's go.
292
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:25,966
I know a way cooler spot.
293
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,468
Give me an S.
294
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,387
Give me an E.
295
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,097
Give me an X.
296
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,142
- What's that spell?
- (CROWD SHOUTING) Sex!
297
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,978
(CROWD CHEERING)
298
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,775
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
299
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,153
- Care for another?
- Sure.
300
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,325
What?
301
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,333
Nice!
302
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,460
Thanks, buddy.
303
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,385
Yeah!
304
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,929
Thank you, thank you.
305
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,556
You are extremely welcome.
306
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,559
Ah!
307
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,020
What is that?
308
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,273
Love.
309
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,357
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
310
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:08,360
Cheers.
311
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,027
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
312
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,612
Whoa!
313
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,740
Oh, my God! Dude!
314
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,201
Are you fucking...
315
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,787
- kidding me?
- PAMELA: Do you like it?
316
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,497
Yes!
317
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,295
- Whoo! Oh!
- (PAMELA CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
318
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,631
Oh, my God!
319
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,932
Oh, fuck.
320
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,391
Dude.
321
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,065
(MOANS SOFTLY)
322
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,998
(MOANS SOFTLY)
323
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,511
(EXHALES)
324
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,305
(BELT CLICKS)
325
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,488
(EXHALES)
326
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,162
Would you like... to meet him?
327
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,206
Yes, I would.
328
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,018
(SOFTLY) He's beautiful.
329
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,188
(MUSIC, SOFT HUMMING)
330
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,985
(GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
331
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:49,081
(GUITAR SOLO PLAYING)
332
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,625
(MUSIC FADES)
333
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,836
Tommy.
334
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,063
TOMMY: I am in love.
335
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,692
(WHISPERS) I think she's the one.
336
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,443
(SIGHS)
337
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,154
- VOICE IN HEAD: You really think so?
- TOMMY: I do.
338
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,242
VOICE IN HEAD:
Oh, I hate those words. "I do."
339
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,704
Sometimes... they got to be said.
340
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:34,209
- VOICE IN HEAD: Oh, fuck!
- What?
341
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:38,714
Well, we've been down this road before
and it never ends well.
342
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:39,840
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
343
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,092
This is different.
344
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:43,969
- VOICE IN HEAD: Really?
- She is different.
345
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,679
VOICE IN HEAD:
Oh, come on, they are all different.
346
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,180
You saw her.
347
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:48,932
She's fucking...
348
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:54,021
- perfect. - VOICE IN HEAD: So is Heather. Hello.
349
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,606
Heather was... too conservative.
350
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,900
- VOICE IN HEAD: Oh...
- Pam knows how to have fun.
351
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,819
She can be wild.
352
00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,821
- We can be wild together. - VOICE IN HEAD: Come on.
353
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,865
I don't have to change
who I am as a person.
354
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,742
- VOICE IN HEAD: Tommy, Tommy.
- What?
355
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,201
VOICE IN HEAD:
You sound fucking ridiculous.
356
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,286
That's how I feel.
357
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,372
I'm in love, bro.
358
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,542
VOICE IN HEAD:
Sorry, that's just the E talking.
359
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:17,294
It's the T.
360
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,670
As in Tommy Lee.
361
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,464
VOICE IN HEAD: Oh! Don't do that.
362
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,883
You listen to me.
You have just gotten divorced.
363
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:23,967
I don't care.
364
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,053
VOICE IN HEAD:
We gotta keep this pussy train rolling.
365
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,221
- Do you hear me?
- Sorry, bro.
366
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:29,348
I'm jumping off.
367
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,016
VOICE IN HEAD:
Come on. What about Jenny McCarthy?
368
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,100
What about?
369
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,185
VOICE IN HEAD:
Guarantee, we could fuck her.
370
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,603
Hmm. Not interested.
371
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,063
VOICE IN HEAD:
Denise fucking Richards.
372
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,023
You saw her scoping you out
at the Halloween party
373
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,483
- at the Playboy mansion.
- Pass.
374
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,068
VOICE IN HEAD: You're passing on
Denise fucking Richards?
375
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,235
On all of them.
376
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,653
VOICE IN HEAD:
Tommy, you're not thinking clearly.
377
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:45,238
My thinking is crystal.
378
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:47,324
VOICE IN HEAD:
Dude, do not fuck this up.
379
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:50,285
Pam and Tommy.
380
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:52,704
VOICE IN HEAD: Don't do this, man.
381
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,831
Do not fucking do this.
382
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,292
- Forever. - VOICE IN HEAD: Ah, fuck me!
383
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,673
PAMELA: Tommy!
384
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,681
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
385
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,603
Let's keep this party going.
386
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:20,524
- Tommy.
- Yes, Pamela?
387
00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:22,984
(WHISPERING) I don't do drugs.
388
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:26,738
(CHUCKLING MISCHIEVOUSLY)
389
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:28,740
I mean it, Tommy, I'm a good girl.
390
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:32,661
I am a good Christian girl
from a small town in Canada.
391
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,621
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
392
00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,582
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
393
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:50,345
The body of Christ.
394
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,430
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
395
00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:35,450
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
396
00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:39,871
She's the one, bro.
397
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,541
Can't even imagine.
398
00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:44,501
Imagine what?
399
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,670
What it must be like to tap that.
400
00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:52,008
I know. It's gonna be mind-blowing.
401
00:25:53,593 --> 00:25:54,970
(CHUCKLES)
402
00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:57,472
- What?
- You haven't fucked her yet?
403
00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,641
- Nuh-uh.
- Oh, shit!
404
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,851
What the fuck you've been doing
the last four days?
405
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,312
Just like... exploring.
406
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:06,314
I'm sure, it's fucking amazing.
407
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:08,942
But, still... you gotta hit that.
408
00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:10,277
Oh, I will...
409
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,529
- eventually.
- Eventually?
410
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,906
I'm gonna wait.
411
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,825
Till our wedding night.
412
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,868
- Oh. Oh.
- Yeah.
413
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:23,790
To everlasting love.
414
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,751
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
415
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:41,516
- Pamela!
- Yes, Tommy.
416
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,894
You are, by far,
417
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:48,982
the baddest, raddest, sexiest,
418
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,400
most far-out
419
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,777
kick-ass chick that I've ever met.
420
00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:54,613
Next to you,
421
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,531
Carmen Electra is a hag.
422
00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:00,160
You make Jenna Jameson look a 4.
423
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,578
Yeah!
424
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:04,789
I can think of nothing
425
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,875
that I would rather do than
426
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,960
spend the rest of my life just...
427
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,088
loving the shit out of you.
428
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,928
- Pamela.
- Yes, Tommy?
429
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:22,849
Oh, shit!
430
00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:29,147
Would you do me the insane honor of...
431
00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:32,317
being my wife?
432
00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:36,655
Okay!
433
00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:41,451
(ALL CHEERING)
434
00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:43,078
Yeah!
435
00:27:58,176 --> 00:27:59,594
Hey, senor.
436
00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:01,846
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
437
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:03,682
We're getting married.
438
00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:06,976
Yes!
439
00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:08,812
Whoo!
440
00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:11,064
Let's go.
441
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:15,402
TOMMY: Yeah!
442
00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:19,114
Pamela! Pamela!
443
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,701
- Hey!
- Are you a priest?
444
00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:24,703
Si, Padre Guzman.
445
00:28:25,078 --> 00:28:26,496
Thank fucking God.
446
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:32,919
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
447
00:28:36,172 --> 00:28:37,507
You may kiss the bride.
448
00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:45,473
(CROWD CHEERING)
449
00:28:50,854 --> 00:28:53,523
L-a-t-e-r that week
450
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:00,155
We're fucking married!
451
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,781
Let's get wet!
452
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,074
(ALL SCREAMING)
453
00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:24,679
(JAZZ BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
454
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:29,350
I'm gonna service you for the
rest of my life.
455
00:30:10,683 --> 00:30:12,227
(MUSIC STOPS)
456
00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:13,937
(ELECTRICAL BEEPING)
457
00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:20,235
Fuck! So, um...
458
00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:23,530
Like, what's your favorite movie?
459
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:30,286
You mean like, all time?
460
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:33,873
Pretty Woman.
461
00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,000
- Cool.
- Yeah!
462
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:38,419
- I love romantic movies.
- Hmm.
463
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,213
You know, like Ghost,
464
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,340
- Sleepless in Seattle.
- Hmm.
465
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:47,887
- You?
- Favorite movie?
466
00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:48,972
Yeah.
467
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,849
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Shit, I got tons.
468
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,934
Um, Child's Play.
469
00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:55,228
Nightmare on Elm Street,
470
00:30:55,228 --> 00:30:57,605
Um, Hellraiser 2, Candyman.
471
00:31:00,608 --> 00:31:02,151
You like the scary stuff.
472
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:04,654
Yeah, horror. That's my jam.
(CHUCKLES)
473
00:31:11,452 --> 00:31:12,745
What's your favorite food?
474
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,625
French fries.
475
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,716
I fucking love French fries.
476
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:31,347
I'm a real wild one wild one wild one
Wild one wild one wild one wild one
477
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:38,396
(REPORTERS CHATTERING)
478
00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,609
- What the fuck?
- Oh.
479
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,777
Pamela! Pamela!
480
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:46,529
Pam, over here... (INAUDIBLE)
481
00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:48,740
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
482
00:31:55,496 --> 00:31:56,748
Pamela, when's the honeymoon?
483
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,626
The two of you just met.
Was it love at first sight?
484
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,590
Can we see the ring, Pam?
485
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:20,563
Hey, relax.
486
00:32:21,314 --> 00:32:23,232
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
487
00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:28,738
Pam, how long
have you guys been together?
488
00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:34,369
Take this, fucking asshole.
489
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,623
- Fuck you.
- Oh, my God! Baby.
490
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,999
Oh, my God!
491
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,961
Jesus. Dude.
492
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,837
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
493
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,214
You're famous.
494
00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:48,800
No. No, we're famous.
495
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,259
(BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY)
496
00:32:53,846 --> 00:32:54,847
Where are we going?
497
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:57,976
Oh.
498
00:32:58,851 --> 00:33:00,019
You mean...
499
00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:01,521
You mean whose house?
500
00:33:03,022 --> 00:33:04,565
Where are we going to live?
501
00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:05,817
- Huh.
- Where do you live?
502
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,735
(CLEARS THROAT)
503
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:09,779
I live in... The Hills.
504
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:11,364
Hollywood Hills, above Sunset.
505
00:33:13,032 --> 00:33:15,118
- You?
- Malibu.
506
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,079
I love Malibu.
507
00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:22,000
Yeah? I've got this fat-ass crib
right on top of a hill.
508
00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,794
Actually, you know what? That's uh...
509
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,797
Timing's perfect, because I'm about to
start this big-ass renovation.
510
00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:28,881
Oh, yeah? You are?
511
00:33:28,965 --> 00:33:33,011
We could renovate together.
I mean, custom build our own little
512
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,763
private love palace.
513
00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:37,265
Let's live there.
514
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,269
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah!
515
00:33:41,894 --> 00:33:44,439
All right. (CHUCKLES)
Let's do it.
516
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:52,071
- Our own fortress of solitude.
- (PAMELA CHUCKLES)
517
00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:54,115
Over there,
there'll be like a Zen garden.
518
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:58,161
And there, you know, a waterfall
flowing into a koi pond, you know.
519
00:33:58,161 --> 00:33:59,871
Just fucking, super fucking chill.
520
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,914
- So Buddhist.
- Yeah, totally.
521
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:03,708
Hey, you know what would be awesome?
522
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,878
- How about a meditation gazebo?
- Snap!
523
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,839
Yes! You know, whenever life gets
too chaotic and stuff,
524
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:12,175
we can just go in and
we can center ourselves.
525
00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:13,259
Pop in the koi pond
526
00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:14,719
- and chill your fucking shit out.
- (CHUCKLES)
527
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,305
- I've been way into TM lately.
- I love TM.
528
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,265
- You do? Do you practice?
- Yeah, I do it all the time.
529
00:34:19,265 --> 00:34:23,603
Ever since I started, I've just been,
like, way more chill and calm.
530
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:24,687
Hey!
531
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:27,940
Hey!
532
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:29,567
Get the fuck out of here.
533
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:32,153
- I fucking see you, motherfucker.
- Tommy, what are you doing?
534
00:34:32,153 --> 00:34:33,237
I see you.
535
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:35,782
Yeah, get the fuck out of here,
Stalkerazzi piece of shit.
536
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:38,534
- Do you wanna get sued? Calm down.
- We should be suing him...
537
00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:40,286
for invasion of privacy.
538
00:34:40,286 --> 00:34:41,829
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Excuse me?
539
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:43,873
Excuse me?
540
00:34:46,667 --> 00:34:47,752
Who the fuck are you?
541
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,003
I'm Lonnie.
542
00:34:49,962 --> 00:34:52,048
- The contractor. We talked on the phone.
- Oh!
543
00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:55,885
Right on.
544
00:34:56,677 --> 00:34:59,138
So, meet the crew. This is Vinny.
545
00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:00,431
- Electrical.
- What's up?
546
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:02,642
- Dennis, plumbing.
- Right on.
547
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,603
- Rand, Carpentry. Nice to meet you man.
- You too.
548
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:06,938
Oh, wow. Cool Tat.
549
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:08,523
It's a Pentacle.
550
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:11,567
- Pentagram.
- That's a Pentacle.
551
00:35:11,651 --> 00:35:13,111
Pentagram's any five-pointed star.
552
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,987
The circle makes it a Pentacle.
553
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,114
You know, it's funny.
554
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:19,158
Most people associate the Pentacle with
Neo-Paganism and witchcraft but
555
00:35:19,242 --> 00:35:21,661
it has its roots
in ancient Hebrew scripture.
556
00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:23,663
The Israelites believed that
the Pentacle
557
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:25,414
was the first of the Seven Seals.
558
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:28,709
You know, the amulet that represents
the seven secret names of God?
559
00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:32,880
I just think, it looks kind of badass.
560
00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,134
Anyway, we shouldn't be here for long.
561
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,803
We just wanna do a quick walk through
with the guys, you know.
562
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:39,971
Go through your architect's plans.
563
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,430
Yeah. Cool beans.
564
00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:42,598
You guys do your thing.
565
00:35:42,682 --> 00:35:44,392
If you need me, I'll be right upstairs.
566
00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:45,768
All right, hey!
567
00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:46,853
Oh!
568
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,730
Yeah, there might be...
569
00:35:49,814 --> 00:35:51,691
- some changes.
- Changes?
570
00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,734
I'm going to switch up
the old concept a bit.
571
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:56,112
No more Bachelor Pad 3000.
572
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:57,363
New concept.
573
00:35:57,363 --> 00:35:58,573
Love deluxe.
574
00:35:58,573 --> 00:35:59,782
Love deluxe?
575
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:03,244
- I got married.
- You did? Who's the lucky lady?
576
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:04,662
Oh, man!
577
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:05,746
Hey, boys.
578
00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:09,709
Pamela fucking Anderson!
579
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:11,127
(SCREAMS, CHUCKLES)
580
00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:13,629
PAMELA: Stop! Stop it, baby.
My Rice Krispies!
581
00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:14,755
TOMMY: I'm sorry.
582
00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:16,632
She will wear it for a lifetime.
583
00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:18,801
Have you decided yet?
584
00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:19,886
(TOMMY GRUNTS)
585
00:36:20,469 --> 00:36:21,929
- Hell, yeah!
- No!
586
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,222
God, no. Tommy.
587
00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:26,309
Give me... Give me that, please.
588
00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:27,768
- God, no!
- Hey!
589
00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:29,103
- No, no, no.
- Come on.
590
00:36:29,228 --> 00:36:31,814
God, stop. I can't watch myself.
591
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,983
- No.
- Why? Why not?
592
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,485
What? You know, it's just...
593
00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:39,697
I'm so much better in my head.
I get self-conscious.
594
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:42,325
That's crazy. You literally...
595
00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:45,161
Look at you, you have nothing
to be self-conscious about.
596
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:47,246
Especially not your acting.
597
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:49,999
You think I'm a good actor?
598
00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:55,046
Uh, totally. You can do anything.
Drama, comedy, fucking...
599
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,130
Shakespeare.
600
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:06,474
Okay. Well, how about that?
601
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,100
- Totally.
- Yeah?
602
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,227
Hundred percent.
603
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,562
Oh, my God! I would love
to fuck you in space.
604
00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:13,940
(SIGHS)
605
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,107
(EXCLAIMS)
606
00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:16,359
Oh, my God!
607
00:37:16,776 --> 00:37:19,362
Oh, my God!
I haven't seen this in years.
608
00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:22,657
The fuck is this?
609
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:24,951
You haven't seen The King and I?
610
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:26,327
How...
611
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:29,205
Oh, my God! This is one of
my all-time favorite movies.
612
00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:31,374
- Eh.
- (CHUCKLES)
613
00:37:32,792 --> 00:37:34,001
Who's the chick?
614
00:37:34,585 --> 00:37:36,128
The chick? That's Anna.
615
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,756
That's Anna. That's Anna!
616
00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:40,883
- Okay.
- Okay, so, she was sent to Siam,
617
00:37:41,008 --> 00:37:44,136
and she... her job there is to
teach English to the King's children.
618
00:37:44,845 --> 00:37:47,223
And... you know.
619
00:37:47,223 --> 00:37:49,100
- How many fucking kids he got?
- (SNIGGERS)
620
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,184
A lot.
621
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,604
Dude needs to slap on a Jimmy hat.
622
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:55,815
(SIGHS WEARILY)
623
00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:00,319
I can't wait to be a mom.
624
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,199
I can't wait to knock you up.
625
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,284
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
626
00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:10,413
Oh, your tits, pregnant?
That's going to be insane.
627
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:14,542
Have you got a big one?
628
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:15,835
You know I do.
629
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,672
I mean, family.
630
00:38:20,214 --> 00:38:22,258
Oh, that.
631
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:25,428
Do you have any siblings?
632
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:29,140
- One sister.
- Thanks, baby.
633
00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:33,019
- Athena.
- Is she older or younger?
634
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:35,187
- Two years younger.
- Yeah? You close?
635
00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:37,690
Extremely. Super.
636
00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:39,608
Super? Does she have kids?
637
00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:42,445
Two. Toby and Miles.
638
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,530
- They're the fucking bomb.
- Yeah?
639
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:48,451
Those two little maniacs,
they crack my shit up.`
640
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,577
How old are they?
641
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:53,080
Toby is four and Miles is two.
642
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:56,334
They must love their uncle Tommy.
643
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,044
Dude, we go hard.
644
00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:01,464
You think I'm a madman in the club?
You should see me on a teeter-totter.
645
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:02,923
(SQUEALS, CHUCKLES)
646
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:09,096
I fucking love you, Tommy Lee.
647
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:17,355
Oh, my God! I love this bit.
648
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:22,360
Ancient saying.
A true and honest thought
649
00:39:22,985 --> 00:39:24,945
that if you become a teacher,
650
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,908
by your pupils, you'll be taught.
651
00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:16,163
You're precisely... Wait for this.
652
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:20,835
Yeah!
653
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,711
- So English.
- Yeah.
654
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:17,975
I should've taped it.
655
00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:21,729
I could've blackmailed you for millions.
656
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,272
This better stay our little secret.
657
00:41:23,272 --> 00:41:25,983
Tommy Lee, Mötley Crüe drummer,
658
00:41:25,983 --> 00:41:27,818
secret lover of musicals.
659
00:41:27,902 --> 00:41:30,154
- Don't you dare.
- Baby, I'm daring.
660
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:31,322
You try me.
661
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:33,073
- You try me.
- Oh, I'll try you.
662
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,366
I'll try you.
663
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,619
From every suitable position.
664
00:41:38,704 --> 00:41:41,499
Come here, Pamela! Right now!
665
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:45,002
Yeah! You're not gonna blab
with this in your mouth.
666
00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:50,216
PAMELA: All right, all right.
It'll be out little secret!
667
00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:52,218
(TV CONTINUES PLAYING)