1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,385 Tensions have cooled here at Woodbridge, 2 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,012 but just a few nights ago, the campus was in flames 3 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,517 over a new pornographic ladies' magazine called "Minx." 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,352 Copies of the frisky periodical 5 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,230 blew through the quad, igniting a raucous debate 6 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,274 that has left locals raging. 7 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,276 They're called privates for a reason. 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,945 This is yet another example of the media industrial complex 9 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,239 amplifying the voices of mainstream feminists. 10 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:34,159 Reading this is supposed to make girls want sex? 11 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,618 I don't get it. 12 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,620 Local action groups have already formed 13 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,080 to protest the magazine. 14 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,667 This filth has no place in our community. 15 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129 I stand with the concerned citizens of Encino, 16 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:50,133 decent, God-fearing people who will help us win the fight 17 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,677 for the soul of the San Fernando Valley. 18 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,306 Okay, okay. 19 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,807 Keep it up. Keep it up. 20 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,642 I have negatives to print. Can I just-- 21 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,186 Less talkin', more lickin'. 22 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,896 I used to love hearing that. 23 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,397 More envelopes, please. 24 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,065 There you go. 25 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,068 "Champions of Chatsworth Chastity"--good. 26 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,528 "Virgin Vigilantes of Van Nuys." 27 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,655 I can't even say that one. - No one can. 28 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,908 That's why it's gonna be so funny on the news. 29 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,367 This one's my masterpiece. 30 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,497 - - "Heavy- - Hearted Housewives of Hollywood Hills." 31 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,998 They call that alliteration. 32 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,500 Okay, you're fucking with me. I know this move. 33 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,168 I don't know what you're talking about. 34 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,419 I'm trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat here. 35 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,837 Could you please help me? 36 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,800 Ooh, "Matronly Magicians of Mulholland." 37 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,510 I hate it when Mom and Dad fight. 38 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,595 Wait, so none of these groups are real? 39 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,139 Doug, may I have a word, please? 40 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,432 Let me do my job. 41 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,184 It's working. I'm moving. I'm shaking. 42 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,061 I'm stirring the pot. People are talking. 43 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,687 Yeah, but it's all criticism. 44 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,689 If everybody was loving it, we wouldn't have a story. 45 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,025 Joyce, I got reporters calling me from everywhere-- 46 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:50,944 from the "San Francisco Chronicle," 47 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,529 from the "Philadelphia Inquirer." 48 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,447 - That's a lesser paper. - It's working. 49 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:58,535 And you did a killer job stepping up issue two. 50 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,745 And Richie's cover? 51 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,248 Very sexy stuff, Joyce. 52 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,415 Yes! 53 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,209 Look at how many more dicks you got. 54 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,837 - Mm-hmm. - You should be so proud 55 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,880 of this excellent magazine. 56 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,674 Yeah, but what's the point of making it excellent 57 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,343 if everybody's reading it the wrong way? 58 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,345 What do you mean by that? You mean, like, back to front? 59 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,056 I want women to feel empowered, not embarrassed. 60 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,892 Let me talk to these reporters. - Oh, no, no, not a chance. 61 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,602 The plan is working. You'll just Joyce it up. 62 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,272 We are scaring away our target audience. 63 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,859 Just--all right, you know what? 64 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,318 I'll give you one reporter. 65 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,653 Oh, my God, you're so generous. 66 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,989 Okay, stuffy. Mean. 67 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,074 Notoriously grabby. 68 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,576 Beulah Barrett called? 69 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:43,788 She does the best profiles on celebrities in crisis. 70 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,832 Am I a celebrity? - Sure, you're a celebrity. 71 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,584 Here, give them to me. Tell them your vision 72 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,168 for issue two. - Yeah. 73 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,670 And then why don't you do this? 74 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,921 Why don't you, uh... 75 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,464 teach them how they should read it? 76 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,050 With a yellow highlighter and an open heart. 77 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:02,181 ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo ♪ 78 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,267 ♪ Ooh ♪ 79 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,769 ♪ Ha ♪ 80 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,939 Oh, how funny. We missed this one. 81 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,399 Let me just, uh... 82 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,152 ah, but wait, it's for me. 83 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,279 There are no coincidences. 84 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,615 Chairman Mao taught me that. 85 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,076 "Dear Richie, noticed your work in 'Minx.' 86 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,288 Come see us sometime. Let's chat." 87 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:29,042 Edward Shawn of the Edward Shawn Gallery. 88 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,752 Oh, my God, he has two first names. 89 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,253 That's so fancy. - I know. 90 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,297 He has the chicest gallery in West Hollywood 91 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,049 and a real eye for emerging artists. 92 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,759 He taught David Hockney how to swim. 93 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,552 Wow. What if he wants to show your photos? 94 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,471 Or what if he wants to have sex with you? 95 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,514 Sometimes it's both. - Mm, just says chat. 96 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,600 I am so glad someone is finally getting 97 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,310 the recognition they deserve around here. 98 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,728 Yes, well, 99 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,772 whenever it happens for me and I become famous, 100 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,315 I promise we'll still be friends. 101 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,568 I'm already famous, so I understand. 102 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,779 Ms. Prigger? 103 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,989 Terrence Carpenter, "Associated Press." 104 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,824 Uh, what happened to Beulah? 105 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,368 Last-minute emergency sit-down 106 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,410 with Cloris Leachman. 107 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,370 You understand. 108 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,996 Oh, yeah, of course. 109 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,331 Cloris Leachman is... 110 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,541 More important than you. 111 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,087 It's not personal. - Uh, no, I know. 112 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,797 I'm just, um... 113 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,008 I was really looking forward to speaking with Beulah. 114 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,637 Oh, yeah, well, I mean, I could say the same about you. 115 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,181 I cover the publishing beat at the "AP," 116 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,433 and I have been following the chatter about "Minx." 117 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,685 New magazine. 118 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,603 Starting to make some noise. Not easy. 119 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,271 Well, I'm just grateful 120 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,940 to be part of the conversation, really. 121 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,694 Well, let's dive into the story of Joyce Prigger. 122 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,320 Okay. 123 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,364 When did the matriarchy first awaken? 124 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,241 You've done your research, I see. 125 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,575 That's the job, 126 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,577 as you're aware, being a journalist yourself. 127 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:50,373 Well, I guess my story starts where every good story starts. 128 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,750 Seneca Falls, 1848. 129 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,629 Did you actually say that? 130 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,922 Obviously not. 131 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,340 I said I wanted to start 132 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,217 a conversation about female oppression. 133 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,386 My point of view has been egregiously misrepresented. 134 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,762 Okay, okay, hold on. 135 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,015 "When pressed on 'Minx's' intended audience, 136 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,350 "Prigger cast a wide net, encouraging girls 137 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,562 as young as 13 to seek out her magazine"? 138 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,313 I said that I wish I had access 139 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,107 to this kind of material when I was coming of age. 140 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,734 Oh, you are coming of age. 141 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,902 Believe me. - We have to fix this. 142 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,571 We've gotta demand a retraction. 143 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,156 No way. This is a national story. 144 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,116 It's been picked up by 180 papers 145 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,618 just as we have released issue two. 146 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,245 This is a jackpot. 147 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,538 Oh, this one's even better. 148 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,998 "Pornographer defends riot, 149 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,209 advocates for adolescent sexual awakening"? 150 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,920 Joyce, you're a fucking gold mine! 151 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,756 Oh, my God. 152 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:49,974 ♪ ♪ 153 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,214 Are you Ricardo Montes Izquierda? 154 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,508 No. 155 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,884 Thank you. 156 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,390 Don't they sort of belong to me by now? 157 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,309 There's no statute of limitations 158 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,519 on borrowed pumps. 159 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,895 Thank you. 160 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,022 And I'm coming for that clutch, missy. 161 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,733 Are you sure you can't stay for a drink? 162 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,652 Well, I would, I just-- I want to hit the highway 163 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,570 before the smog rolls in. 164 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,031 Well, maybe you can come by the office this week. 165 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,324 We all miss you. 166 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,243 I promise I'm gonna stop by soon. 167 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,828 It's just been so crazy at the house 168 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,413 and things with Lenny have been a little off. 169 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,666 - - I just-- - I really could have used you the last few days. 170 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,502 It's--everybody hates me, Shel. 171 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,045 First it was the magazine, 172 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,422 but now I am the one being pilloried. 173 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,678 Joycey, when no one would publish your magazine, 174 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,513 do you remember how miserable you were? 175 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,224 Yeah, it's terrible to be ignored. 176 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,851 And then after the first issue came out 177 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,185 and no one bought it, you felt like 178 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,353 it was the end of the world. 179 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,604 That's because it landed 180 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,356 with a deafening thud. 181 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,066 It's a real shock to the system. 182 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,527 I'm just saying, if every step has been torture, 183 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,613 it makes me wonder, do you even want a magazine? 184 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,907 Of course I want a magazine. It's just it's harder 185 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,784 than I thought it was gonna be, that's all. 186 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,745 Yeah, well, most things are. 187 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,835 Ooh, Daltons. I love their financiers. 188 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,211 Oh. 189 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,631 - Secret admirer? - Bye. 190 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,723 Well, thank you for joining me. 191 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,391 You know how much I love to see 192 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,227 our profitable magazines in their natural environment. 193 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,563 Ahh, "Naked Nurses." 194 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:04,275 Ugh, 70% margin. Now that's sexy. 195 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,737 - Where the hell is "Minx"? - Oh, no. 196 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,906 Has the crown jewel of the Bottom Dollar empire 197 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,782 gone missing yet again? 198 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,284 Hey, Artie! 199 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,203 I thought we'd been over this. Where's my dick mag? 200 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,079 - Gone. They took it all. - Seized? 201 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,415 Sure, that tracks. - No, sold. 202 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:22,001 I put it on the stands, gone in two hours. 203 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,170 You gotta get me more. 204 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,630 No problem. 205 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,215 So get this, Franco. 206 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,219 Some broad right here in sunny LA, Joyce Prigger, 207 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:35,181 is putting out a magazine full of naked guys 208 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,517 to help the females feel more satisfied. 209 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,103 Ha! You know, I bet if Little Miss Prigger 210 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,648 had a real-life jolly stick to play with, 211 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,858 she would have saved herself the trouble. 212 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,112 Whoo! 213 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,323 We just sold out in Cleveland! 214 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,741 Oh! 215 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,827 - What? Ha! - Whoo! 216 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:06,629 ♪ ♪ 217 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,590 Well, she's calling it "Minx", 218 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,175 and she has filled it 219 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:15,054 with all of her feminist mumbo jumbo. 220 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,472 Are you reading this, Nancy? 221 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,015 You better believe it, Billy Boy. 222 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,977 Fellas, keep a leash on your ladies. 223 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,271 Don't want 'em getting any big ideas. 224 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,607 I want a raise. 225 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,443 That's the thing about these libbers. 226 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,195 They wanna fix something that ain't broken. 227 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,322 How hard is it to get your nails done 228 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,657 and cook a nice meal? 229 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,243 We just sold out Vegas! 230 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,662 Whoo! 231 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,581 ♪ ♪ 232 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,501 Whoo! 233 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,754 Yeah! 234 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:55,177 Chicks like Joyce Prigger, nothing but trouble. 235 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,846 But I know the type. 236 00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,683 Once some unlucky guy takes her off the market, 237 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,393 she'll shut her trap. 238 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,312 Oh, if any of our loyal listeners 239 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,565 wanna jump on that grenade, you'll be a hero to us all. 240 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,695 New York City! 241 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:22,913 ♪ ♪ 242 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,419 all: 243 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,463 Parks, not porn! 244 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:38,637 Parks, not porn! Parks, not porn! 245 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:43,601 Friends, neighbors, wives, mothers, 246 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,811 we didn't ask for this war, 247 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:50,733 but I promise you, we're ready to fight it. 248 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,821 If Joyce Prigger and her soldiers of smut 249 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,866 wanna put their magazines into the hands of our children, 250 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:02,244 well, they're going to have to get through us first. 251 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,751 - Hey, Richie. - Hey. 252 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,092 "Richie, 253 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,302 "congrats on a fabulous second issue. 254 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,262 "Having a little salon for some of my artists 255 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,931 "at my place in the hills. 256 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,641 "Bring your colleagues. 257 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,268 Would love to celebrate with the whole 'Minx' team. Edward." 258 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,646 We have to go. - I'm pretty busy. 259 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:29,980 I don't think I can make-- - What? 260 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,774 You were so excited to meet him. 261 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,319 Oh, no. He tried to sleep with you. 262 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,780 You did sleep with him? You slept with him twice? 263 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,365 It was good? It was bad. 264 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,283 He hates his mother. - Stop. 265 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,451 I bailed, okay? 266 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,495 I got there and it was 267 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:45,746 way out of my league. 268 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,915 There's no chance I'm ever gonna be 269 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,000 up on a wall next to Hockney. 270 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,170 You know, when I stepped on my first set, 271 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,131 I didn't feel like I belonged. 272 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,008 I'm not even really sure how I got there. 273 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,262 But the photographer could tell I was really nervous, 274 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,306 and so he walked over to me and he said, 275 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,058 "You're not gonna be hot forever. 276 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,309 "Now take off those shorts 277 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,811 and get on that elephant and ride." 278 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,354 Oh, this industry. 279 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,481 Babes, you're so talented. 280 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,775 You just need to shine bright and show everyone 281 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,652 how much you're worth. 282 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,363 Plus, Joyce could use some fun. 283 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,906 We could make a night of it. 284 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,158 Okay, fine, fine, 285 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,993 but I get to leave whenever I want. 286 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,661 Okay, you say that now, 287 00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,830 but last time I went to a party in the hills, 288 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,331 I stayed for a year. 289 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,459 And then the murders started. 290 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,336 You're gonna love it. 291 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,088 The Manson murders? 292 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,548 Not those! 293 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,468 The library, one of my favorite places 294 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,678 in the entire world. - I mean, she has a point. 295 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:45,014 Even I don't think "Minx" should be in a library. 296 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,475 I never said that. 297 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,851 You know, just to play devil's advocate, 298 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,436 who is to say it's the worst idea 299 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,354 to bring these concepts to the common square? 300 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,399 If you think people should be able to check out your magazine 301 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,027 while also getting a copy of "Huckleberry Finn," 302 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,778 I think that's an opinion you need to share 303 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,071 with the whole world. 304 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,490 Oh, yeah, you would love that. 305 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,408 No, I love selling magazines. 306 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,993 And speaking of, would you be willing 307 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,536 to go on "Willy and Franco"? 308 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,913 Pump up our numbers a little bit? 309 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,539 I wouldn't go anywhere near them. 310 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,874 They're Neanderthals. 311 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,834 Neanderthals with a national audience. 312 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,419 Doug, I am getting hate mail. 313 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,837 Bags and bags of it. 314 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,548 Four-letter word. Four-letter word. 315 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,218 Five-letter word. Death threat. 316 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,595 Oh, God, and this absolute chestnut 317 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,805 from Bottom Dollar's biggest fan, Norman. 318 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,809 "Women in pornography should be seen and not heard 319 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,395 "and certainly should not be given their own magazine. 320 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,731 "Like that vile temptress Yoko Ono, 321 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,568 "you are single-handedly unraveling America's Beatles. 322 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,111 Bottom Dollar Publications." 323 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,781 Aww, he thinks we're The Beatles. 324 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,241 - Doug! - Joyce, I've been 325 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,660 in this business a long time, and as you know, 326 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,954 it is not always a popular one. 327 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,747 I want to show you something special. 328 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,749 Oh, God. 329 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,335 A few of my favorite love letters. 330 00:13:56,335 --> 00:14:00,923 "If I had a time machine, I'd go back to 1933 331 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:05,010 "and kill you as a toddler, then, time permitting, 332 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,179 I'd go to Germany and I'd kill Hitler." 333 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,431 - That is horrible. - No, if somebody is willing 334 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,725 to write you a letter, that means you got them. 335 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,102 That means that you matter. 336 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,937 What you're describing is masochism. 337 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,273 No, what I'm describing is not giving a shit. 338 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,608 You should try that sometime. 339 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,862 Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. 340 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,116 - Really enjoying this, huh? - I am. 341 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,701 The only way this could be any better 342 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,327 is you admitting that I was right. 343 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,037 Like you knew any of this was gonna happen. 344 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,289 Hey, I had a hunch. 345 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,582 You were blindly throwing darts 346 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,749 praying one would hit. 347 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,084 And one did, 348 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,836 right in the ass of our patron saint, 349 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,462 Joyce Prigger, huh? 350 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,756 - Sure, if she holds. - Mm-hmm. 351 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,174 You've hitched your wagon to a star 352 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:47,678 that's about to supernova out of existence. 353 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,430 Nah, I'm good. 354 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,056 I'm thinking of upping our next print run 355 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,474 to a cool million. 356 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,977 - Why not two? - Now she's ready to dance. 357 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,520 Why not two? 358 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,188 Just hope it's not on the deck of the "Titanic." 359 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,316 Hey, those people were in a bad situation, 360 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,818 and they made the best of it. 361 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,487 And then they all died. 362 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:15,831 ♪ ♪ 363 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:27,176 ♪ ♪ 364 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,513 ♪ ♪ 365 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,557 Hey. What're you doing here-- 366 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,143 ♪ ♪ 367 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,770 No, don't talk. 368 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:42,900 ♪ ♪ 369 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,910 - Morning. - Good morning. 370 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:56,121 - That was fun. - Yes, it was. 371 00:15:56,205 --> 00:16:00,918 I forgot how good we are at this. 372 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:04,046 That was a little better. 373 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,923 Right? 374 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:09,051 Well, you did read "Aphrodesia." 375 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,552 Mm-hmm. 376 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,346 Come here. 377 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,104 I wish I could just hide out here all day. 378 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,732 You can. I'll field your calls. 379 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,402 Beat away all those assholes running their mouths. 380 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,737 God, it's a bit late for that. 381 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,906 What are you talking about? 382 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,534 Nobody's image is beyond repair. 383 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,452 Teddy Kennedy is three years removed 384 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,162 from leaving a body in an estuary, 385 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,165 and he's still a viable presidential candidate. 386 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,710 Not my favorite analogy, but... 387 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,838 Martha's Vineyard does sound very appealing right now. 388 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,464 Mm. 389 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,842 But you know you shouldn't be hiding. 390 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,720 You should fight back. 391 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,973 Churchill said that, "A lie gets halfway around the world 392 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,350 before the truth puts its pants on." 393 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,478 Doug's not interested in the truth. 394 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,897 Well, you did get in business with a man 395 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:08,152 who doesn't know a thing about publishing a real magazine. 396 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:12,281 You deserve a publisher who has the right media contacts, 397 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,576 someone who understands major markets, 398 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,495 who has relationships with advertisers, 399 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,248 who knows that fall issues are the biggest 400 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,834 and January's a wash. 401 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,253 It sounds like you have someone in mind. 402 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,797 It's not your fault that you got into bed 403 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,215 with the wrong guy. 404 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,967 You were just so desperate for a yes 405 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,594 that you went with someone who doesn't know a thing 406 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,429 about who you are and what you want to do. 407 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,557 But if someone like you were my publisher... 408 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,726 Well, now that you mention it, 409 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,146 I have been looking to make a move. 410 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,315 "Lad" magazine is very limiting, 411 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,067 and they don't see my potential. 412 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,902 Spit it out, Glenn. 413 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,822 I've been sitting on a modest trust from Nana Lily. 414 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,407 - Since when? - Since she died. 415 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,534 - In 1969? - Yes. 416 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,329 And it's enough to set up shop. 417 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,080 "Minx" as our flagship title, 418 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:05,375 and you as our glamorous editor in chief, 419 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,170 and me, our debonair publisher. 420 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,005 Look out, world. 421 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,673 Where was this money two years ago? 422 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,677 Well, I didn't wanna blow it on something unproven. 423 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,887 Me. 424 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,889 You didn't want to blow it on me. 425 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,516 Oh, my God. 426 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,977 But now that everyone is talking about my magazine, 427 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,522 now, suddenly, you wanna invest? 428 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,191 Only you can turn this into something nefarious. 429 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,484 - I'm-- - I'm trying to help. 430 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,820 Help yourself! 431 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,365 What is so funny? 432 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:40,577 I realized that you trying to steal my magazine-- 433 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:45,207 that is the most ambitious thing you've ever done. 434 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,800 Ooh, you look hot, babe. 435 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,719 It's, like, 91 degrees. Why do people dress like this? 436 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,137 Everyone's gonna wanna talk to you, 437 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,222 and I'll be right by your side. 438 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,682 Thank you. 439 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:09,523 ♪ ♪ 440 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,817 Everyone is so staggeringly handsome, I kid you not. 441 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,151 They're so cute. 442 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,279 Hi! 443 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,156 Hey, you mingle. I'll go grab us some drinks. 444 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,534 Mingle? 445 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,120 Uh... 446 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,752 Is that-- 447 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591 Motherfuck. 448 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:38,343 What's happening here? This chick gonna show? 449 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,053 Oh, yeah, yeah. No, she's gonna come. 450 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,598 I triple confirmed with her. She's just driving. 451 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,391 You know, women. 452 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,022 Cream and two sugars, sugar. 453 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:56,737 ♪ ♪ 454 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,698 But if she doesn't show, I'll be happy to step in. 455 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:03,327 - I got a-- - I got a million stories, believe me. 456 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,203 I taught her everything she knows. 457 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,372 I'm a lot of fun. 458 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,796 Where's the mic? 459 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,798 Go. Go. 460 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,968 You really think we're gonna be sitting here 461 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,137 in 40 years talking about Goldie Hawn? 462 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,307 Not just her, her children. She's going to start an empire. 463 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,850 That's not a world I want to live in. 464 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,019 Hi, sorry, um, do any of you happen to drive 465 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,270 a green and white pickup? 466 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,858 Is that to a green and white pickup? 467 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,860 Blue Celica. You want? 468 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:45,702 ♪ ♪ 469 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,163 I hear I'm holding you hostage. 470 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:50,624 Dreadfully sorry. 471 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,335 - Mr. Hockney. - I'm always the last one here. 472 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,504 End up trapping everybody else. 473 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,839 That's the burden of my life. 474 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,716 And tell me who you are, then. 475 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,802 I used to know everybody at Ed's parties, 476 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:05,639 but seems like this town is just moving on without me. 477 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,058 Oh, well, I'm a nobody. 478 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,018 I'm Richie. I shoot for "Minx." 479 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,687 It's a magazine that-- - Oh, no, brilliant. 480 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,063 I love "Minx." 481 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:16,316 That second issue-- yeah, that was tops. 482 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,026 - Oh, you've read it? - Yeah, well, 483 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,737 all we get are these tortured physique poses. 484 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,074 Beefcakes on the boardwalk which, uh, 485 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,368 with the right mood, I mean, why not? 486 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,663 But you're giving us actual male desire. 487 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,207 That's really something. 488 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,917 Thank you. 489 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,294 It's funny 'cause people have been ripping us to shreds, so-- 490 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,131 That's the price of being a pioneer, I suppose. 491 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,925 Misunderstood by most. 492 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,927 You'll get used to it. 493 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:47,389 And we're back! 494 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,392 Well, there is a hot new magazine on the stands, 495 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,811 and everyone seems to have an opinion about it. 496 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:56,231 We're lucky enough to have the brains behind "Minx." 497 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:59,484 It's a real lightning rod. - You got the rod part right. 498 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,737 Please welcome 499 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:05,032 the lady editor of "Minx," Joyce Prigger. 500 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,742 Just editor. Happy to be here. 501 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,326 Listeners, this may surprise you, 502 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,912 but Joyce is quite the looker. 503 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,415 You hear "feminist" and you think... 504 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,754 That's funny, you both look exactly like I imagined. 505 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,255 both: Whoa! 506 00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:22,507 So, Joyce, why do you hate men? 507 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:24,718 Whoa, whoa, whoa, she doesn't hate men. 508 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,095 You check out her mag? She loves us. 509 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,513 Eh, maybe not us, 510 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,599 but a little part that tickles her fancy. 511 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,477 To interject, I don't hate men at all. 512 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,812 But one thing I find curious about them 513 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,606 is when they ask a woman a question 514 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,940 and then don't let her answer it. 515 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,276 Oh, no, I think we ticked her off 516 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:42,611 right out of the gate, Willy. 517 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,404 Oh, we're just messing around. 518 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,281 There's no reason to get your nose out of joint. 519 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,950 Another thing I love is when men try to tell me 520 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,577 how I should be feeling. 521 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:52,370 "Minx" is not about hating men. 522 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,456 It's about empowering women. 523 00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:56,041 Does that scare you, Willy? 524 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,542 Of course not. 525 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,169 Right, 'cause how could little ol' me 526 00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:01,129 scare a big man like you? 527 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,673 Franco, on the other hand, should be terrified. 528 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,136 Nancy, you don't have those privileges. 529 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,639 See, now that is what my magazine is all about. 530 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,308 Men have had their finger on the button for a long time. 531 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:15,936 Well, that's my button, and she knows the rules. 532 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:17,979 We're not trying to take your button away, Willy. 533 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,815 Women just want access to the button, 534 00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,942 or, failing that, we want our own button, 535 00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:24,861 one as loud and obnoxious as yours. 536 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:27,322 Oh, you're just off to a great start, toots. 537 00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:29,407 I get it. I get it. I do. 538 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:32,160 The thought of a female pornographer-- 539 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,121 that makes people pretty uncomfortable. 540 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:37,457 It made me uncomfortable, but I'm doing it anyway. 541 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:41,211 And there is nothing that you can do to co-opt it 542 00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:45,048 or diminish it or take that away from me. 543 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,508 Will, you look at porn, right? 544 00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:49,511 That's between me and my-- yes. 545 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,138 Franco, I don't even need to ask. 546 00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:53,348 Male desire is celebrated. 547 00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:56,643 There is an entire industry built on servicing it. 548 00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:59,229 Why should female desire be any different? 549 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:02,691 We got more nerve endings in our sex organs than you do. 550 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,610 No. Absolutely not! 551 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:10,615 Men like you are really good at limiting women's options. 552 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,870 Now maybe, just maybe, you guys are worried 553 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:17,998 that my magazine can offer them something that you can't. 554 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:21,626 One thing I'm certain of is that Wanda Wilkerson 555 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,004 is satisfied in the bedroom department. 556 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:27,048 - Are you, though? - Never had a single complaint. 557 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,675 And I'm sure that your marriages 558 00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:31,803 are built on openness and communication. 559 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:33,889 - Actually, I'm single. - Shocker. 560 00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:36,474 But as a woman, let me let you in on a little secret. 561 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:40,312 What she tells you and what's really happening 562 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:42,355 may not be the same thing. 563 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,234 I happen to know a woman who's been married 564 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:49,154 for 16 years-- three kids, perfect life. 565 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:51,781 But her husband has never been able to give her 566 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:56,244 the fullest experience of lovemaking. 567 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,997 She has never said a peep about it, 568 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:03,960 so he keeps flying blind thinking he's pleasuring her. 569 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,840 But I'm sure that things 570 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,926 between you and Wanda are different. 571 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,719 We could give her a call after the break. 572 00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,262 Hear her side of the story. 573 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,681 Great idea, Nancy. 574 00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:28,818 ♪ ♪ 575 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,786 How much to get one of these in platinum? 576 00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:40,580 - We sold out everywhere. - Word travels fast. 577 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,332 Dick Cavett's talent booker told me 578 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,960 when she called to check Joyce's availability. 579 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,671 No. "The Dick Cavett Show"? 580 00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:49,089 In New York fuckin' City? 581 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:55,887 How is your news better than my news? 582 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,889 This is annoying. I had great news. 583 00:25:57,973 --> 00:25:59,266 You'll get over it. 584 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:01,518 All right, I need to hear it. 585 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:04,312 - Seriously? - Yeah, I'm a petty man. 586 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,772 I want to hear it. 587 00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:08,191 All right, maybe I'll make it easier for you. 588 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:11,945 You were right too. 589 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:14,948 I was irresponsible, I was in over my head, I... 590 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,034 I went a little nuts. 591 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,246 And then I got lucky. 592 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,170 Thank you. 593 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,089 And? 594 00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:37,095 You were right. 595 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,060 ♪ My baby's a natural beauty ♪ 596 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,520 ♪ Yeah ♪ 597 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,357 ♪ I said my baby's a natural beauty ♪ 598 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,942 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 599 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,779 ♪ She's a natural beauty ♪ 600 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,699 ♪ Aww ♪ 601 00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,618 The penis is completely out of proportion to the original. 602 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,370 - Yeah, it was a whole thing. - Yes, we know. 603 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,997 I hope no one's got anywhere to be, 604 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:07,042 because I just blocked in about five people. 605 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:10,045 Well, now they have a reason to stay. 606 00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,172 Hey, everyone, this is Joyce. 607 00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:14,299 The minx behind "Minx." 608 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:22,349 God save the queen of dicks. 609 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:34,611 ♪ ♪ 610 00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:38,365 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 611 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:41,326 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 612 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:46,873 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 613 00:27:46,873 --> 00:27:48,666 ♪ Stone, very braid ♪ 614 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,710 ♪ Got a lot of brains in her head ♪ 615 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,504 ♪ She's got a lot of style ♪ 616 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:54,547 ♪ She makes my life worthwhile ♪ 617 00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:58,301 ♪ Personality, oh, she's the girl for me ♪ 618 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,345 ♪ Sometimes she's out of line ♪ 619 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,138 ♪ But I'd give her my last dime ♪ 620 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:05,892 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 621 00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:08,728 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 622 00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:13,775 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 623 00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:17,779 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ - ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 624 00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:20,615 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 625 00:28:20,615 --> 00:28:22,951 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 626 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:26,246 ♪ She's a winner ♪ 627 00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:30,083 ♪ Running with me, nobody could compare ♪ 628 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:31,918 ♪ She's choice greatly beef ♪ 629 00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:34,212 ♪ A love oh, so sweet ♪ 630 00:28:34,212 --> 00:28:37,674 ♪ Understanding too, that's why she never loose ♪ 631 00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:41,636 ♪ So different from the rest, that's why she's the best ♪ 632 00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:45,432 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ - ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 633 00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:48,309 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 634 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:53,565 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 635 00:28:53,565 --> 00:29:00,155 ♪ ♪