1 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,589 [shutter clicks] 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,591 Um... 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,468 could you repeat the question? 4 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,054 I only understood the word "the." 5 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,889 Sure. "In Nixon's America, 6 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,224 "would you say gender equity 7 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,351 is about more than just equal pay?" 8 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,645 And the word "the" is not in that question. 9 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,233 All right, let's just skip to the next one. 10 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,611 Um, okay, my turn. 11 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,239 "As the Soviet Union and the collectivist East 12 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,366 turn towards radical egalita"-- 13 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,118 Tarianism. Radical egalitarianism. 14 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,703 "Radical egalitarianism, 15 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,165 what role do Western democracies have in"-- 16 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,459 You know what? I don't think you're gonna get this question. 17 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,335 I don't see a world where we don't. 18 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,380 Abolishing gender distinctions is squarely in the zeitgeist. 19 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,717 We'll be lucky if any journalists show up to this, 20 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,302 let alone the smart ones. 21 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,262 Bambi's right. Stick to the basics. 22 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,264 Hey, this question is mostly in Latin. 23 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,515 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I know Pig Latin. 24 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,975 Hey, what are your turn-ons? 25 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,226 Oh, and a follow-up, turn-offs. 26 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,478 What's your sign, honey? 27 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,520 Ooh, I was gonna ask that. 28 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,730 First question-- 29 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,814 I like it when girls dress sexy. 30 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,940 Oh, my God. 31 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,150 I don't like it when they don't. 32 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,651 - Wrong. - How could it be wrong? 33 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,653 It's an opinion. And I'm with you, buddy. 34 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,071 You guys talk too fast. 35 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,490 Is this what the conference is gonna be like? 36 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,824 - Yes, definitely. - Not a chance. 37 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:15,825 Yes, it will. 38 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,828 [funky music] 39 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,705 ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,999 ♪ Oh! ♪ 41 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,169 That man, that beautiful jar of nothing 42 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,337 cannot represent 43 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,255 the premiere issue of our magazine. 44 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,548 He's on the cover. 45 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,383 He's representing the fuck out of it. 46 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,386 No one would be interested if it's just you up there, 47 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,638 charming as you may be. 48 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,680 This is our only chance 49 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,140 to make a first impression. 50 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,601 We are introducing something completely new. 51 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,144 We have to get this right. 52 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,271 You may be the brains, but he's the face, 53 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:48,358 and there's a reason they call the face "the moneymaker." 54 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,109 It's what makes the money. 55 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,778 Yes, I get it. 56 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:56,074 ♪ ♪ 57 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,868 He doesn't understand rudimentary hand signals. 58 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,245 Gorillas catch on faster. 59 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,412 You got a couple of days. 60 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,872 Train him up as best you can 61 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,876 and, I don't know, maybe lose the 'tude. 62 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,253 "Lose the 'tude." 63 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,004 Got a call from City Hall this morning. 64 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,965 Enjoy your little badge gag on the councilwoman? 65 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,424 Troop 69? 66 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,593 Yeah, Art Department knocked it out of the park. 67 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,221 Well, now we're being audited by the county tax assessor. 68 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,973 Couldn't leave it alone, could you? 69 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,725 You know, Westbury should really give me a badge. 70 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,310 Teaching our bright young minds 71 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,689 that there's more than one way to eat a cookie. 72 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,065 - Doug. - Hey, did you hear 73 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,692 Scotty gave notice down the block? 74 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,152 I bet we could swoop in, make an offer, 75 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,947 and nab that building before they even hire a broker. 76 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,615 - We don't have the cash. - We will. 77 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:38,992 We are bleeding money. 78 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,910 You gotta spend money to make money. 79 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,912 You gotta have money to spend money. 80 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,539 Says who? 81 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,749 Don't worry about the audit. Our books are good. 82 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,376 Gerry will handle it. 83 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,213 Hey, lose the sweater. Throw this over your shoulder. 84 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:58,511 "An exciting new chapter in the annals of erotica." 85 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,430 Annal is Tompkins' favorite kind of erotica. 86 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,723 [laughter] 87 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:05,518 "Who says feminism can't be sexy?" 88 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,103 This is gold. 89 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,938 We gotta send someone to cover this press conference. 90 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,565 Is "female gaze" just another way 91 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,774 of saying carpet munchers? 92 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,942 [laughter] 93 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,903 See? This stuff writes itself. 94 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,487 Anyone up for a fish-in-a-barrel gig? 95 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,740 600 words. 96 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,033 I'll take this one. 97 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,951 Glenn. 98 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,412 all: Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, 99 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,874 Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn. 100 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,461 Okay. Let's review. 101 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,171 Feminism is? 102 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,882 - Good. - And? 103 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,342 Started with witches. 104 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,885 No. that one's on me. 105 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,970 I should not have opened with the Salem witch trials. 106 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,432 Okay, let's get back on course in the struggle for... 107 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,143 Elizabeth Cady Stanton. 108 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,353 Was one of the names 109 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,021 that I mentioned in the introduction. 110 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,774 - My mom almost named me Cody. - Oh. 111 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,692 But she didn't 'cause our last name. 112 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,778 She said that people wouldn't take me seriously 113 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,154 if my name was Cody Brody. 114 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,114 Well, she sounds like a smart woman. 115 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,408 Would you call her a feminist? - Not to her face. 116 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,661 Come on. It's not a bad word. 117 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,537 Feminism is about equality. 118 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,748 It's about giving people power and a voice, 119 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,583 even if they are some pretty little thing 120 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,169 that hasn't been taught to use theirs yet. 121 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:16,631 Okay. Sorry. Jeez. 122 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,926 Now I understand why women have so much suffrage. 123 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,596 All right, um... 124 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,348 how about we have a drink? - Sure. 125 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,016 - Okay. - Got any beer? 126 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,353 - No, I do not. - I have a lovely Pouilly- - Fuissé. 127 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,313 Trust me. 128 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:40,989 Hmm. 129 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,199 [soft music playing] 130 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,617 Shouldn't you be bowling? 131 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,119 I should. 132 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,621 I'm taking a look at Gerry's... 133 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,832 I'm not sure what to call this. Work? 134 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,376 Now, go easy on Gerry. He's a real accountant. 135 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,378 I poached him from Capitol. 136 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,629 He's the one that figured out 137 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,881 how to write off Phil Spector's guns. 138 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,634 This is a mess, and I don't even have an accounting degree. 139 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,594 Well, I don't even have a high-school diploma, 140 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,805 yet here we are. 141 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:09,350 To, uh, punching above our weight. 142 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,395 Cheers. 143 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,814 You do run a successful business. 144 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,233 - Thank you. - Sloppily. 145 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,235 Half your employees have criminal records. 146 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,987 The other half are lucky they don't. 147 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,405 You're spending money you don't have 148 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,740 on things you don't need. 149 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,991 Subjective. 150 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,617 Come on. Hold on now. 151 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:31,414 Look at what-- look at what Frank sent over. 152 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,249 The Tower That Titty Built. 153 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,461 Don't forget our new friend, good old cock and balls. 154 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,546 You're telling me you wouldn't want to show up 155 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,089 to work here every day? 156 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,885 Come on, Tins, our plan. This plan. 157 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:48,306 Big circulation, big advertisers, big money. 158 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,099 The same plan that we came up with 159 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,393 in the back of that '64 Impala, 160 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,270 talking out of our asses, 161 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:57,940 is as alive now as it has ever been. 162 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,400 Yeah? 163 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,611 Yeah. 164 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,113 You're on top of it? 165 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,365 Like a duck on a June bug. 166 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,578 Then you must know 50 grand is missing from these books. 167 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,668 - No, I didn't. - Hmm. 168 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,670 You didn't know that. 169 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,964 Well, now I do. 170 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,342 So the patri-archie forces men 171 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,177 into roles they don't want to play either. 172 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,471 [British accent] By George, I think he's got it. 173 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,556 It's Shane. [both laugh] 174 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,849 [normal voice] Yeah. 175 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,601 But you're a good teacher. 176 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,311 Thank you. 177 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,480 Most of the girls-- 178 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,316 women I meet aren't interested 179 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,901 in what I have to talk about. 180 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:46,906 Well, I can tell that you're a very sensitive man. 181 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,243 I mean, I know firemen are supposed to be tough, 182 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,745 and, like, I'm not afraid of fire or anything. 183 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,205 Probably should be. 184 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,833 But sometimes the other guys, 185 00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,586 they can just be so...mean. 186 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,755 Aww. 187 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,842 Like, one time, I rescued this cat 188 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,094 from a burning building. 189 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,513 I rushed outside, but it wasn't breathing. 190 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:14,517 So I gave it mouth-to-mouth, which totally works on animals. 191 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,187 I would never have thought to do that. 192 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,856 But that night in the showers, 193 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,943 the other guys, they just kept meowing and meowing. 194 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,194 Oh. 195 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,530 I ran and hid in engine number nine. 196 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,490 Those men, they're not tough. 197 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,910 They're just scared, scared of being vulnerable. 198 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,872 Now, I can tell you that if women were firefighters, 199 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,832 then no one would ridicule you 200 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,376 for saving a helpless little kitty cat. 201 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,253 Too bad women can't be firemen. 202 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,462 Says who? 203 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:48,092 Well, it's right there in the name. 204 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,720 Fireman. - Okay. [chuckles] 205 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,848 Oh, but also, you have to be able to carry 190 pounds. 206 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,767 Oh, really? Is that a lot? 207 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,815 You're looking at a buck-90. 208 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,526 Huh? Yeah. 209 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,237 Well, okay. May I? 210 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,239 Mm-hmm. [both laugh] 211 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,534 Oh, my God. No. [both laugh] 212 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,702 Hold on. 213 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,078 I'm sure if I just, you know-- 214 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,830 I had the proper training and everything, 215 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,583 then, you know... 216 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,876 Hmm. 217 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,253 Am I allowed to say you're pretty? 218 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,216 Well, I wouldn't accuse you of objectifying me if you did. 219 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,182 Hmm. 220 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,266 Let me just-- 221 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,267 [King Floyd's "Groove Me"] 222 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,894 ♪ Uh, aww ♪ 223 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,438 ♪ Sookie, sookie now ♪ - Oh, my God. 224 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,482 ♪ Hey, ow, uh ♪ 225 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,943 [laughs] 226 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,861 Now, in a real fire, I'd be carrying you 227 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,281 out of the building and not into the bedroom. 228 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:56,118 Lucky for us, the only thing on fire is our libidos. 229 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,620 No, no, no. It's okay. 230 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,623 It's just a fancy way of saying that you're-- 231 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:04,502 - that I--I am-- - I am very excited about this. 232 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:08,130 ♪ A sweet taste in my mouth ♪ 233 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:12,760 Um, and this is not something I ever normally... 234 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,638 Wow. Do. 235 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,931 Oh, my God. 236 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,474 ♪ Happily, nah-nah ♪ 237 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,769 ♪ In a great big ol' roomy house ♪ 238 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,604 ♪ And I know you're gonna ♪ 239 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,606 ♪ Groove me, baby ♪ 240 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,568 But, you know, I guess... why not? 241 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,529 ♪ Make me feel good inside ♪ 242 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:36,033 ♪ Come on, and groove me, baby ♪ 243 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:39,203 ♪ I need you to groove me ♪ 244 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,081 ♪ Oh, yeah, now, now, darling ♪ 245 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:45,251 ♪ Uh, come on, come on ♪ 246 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,003 ♪ Hey! Uh! ♪ 247 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,338 ♪ Hey, there, sugar darlin' ♪ 248 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,090 ♪ Come on, give me something ♪ 249 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,633 ♪ Girl... ♪ 250 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,511 [whispering] I just want to make you feel good. 251 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,929 You do? 252 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,514 ♪ Yes, I'm good, good loving ♪ 253 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,057 ♪ With plenty, plenty hugging ♪ 254 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,517 Okay. 255 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,978 ♪ You make me feel good inside ♪ 256 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:08,691 ♪ Come on, and groove me, baby ♪ 257 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,527 ♪ Move me, baby ♪ 258 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,280 ♪ Oh, sock it to me, mama ♪ 259 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,365 ♪ Uh! ♪ 260 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,535 [birds chirping] 261 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,882 [phone rings] 262 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,050 Hello? 263 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,217 - Hey, honey. - Hello. 264 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,552 Just calling to remind you 265 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,054 about the editor's photo today. 266 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,221 You have the clothes picked out? 267 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,639 I surely do. 268 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,767 Ooh, someone's chirpy this a.m. 269 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,519 Someone had a very fun night. 270 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,731 - Oh, my--did someone have-- - Yes! Yes. 271 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,568 And not even in the confines of a committed partnership. 272 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,320 I had a one-night stand. 273 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,738 - No! - Yes. 274 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,031 Well, check that off your list. 275 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,532 How do you know about my list? 276 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,076 Girls like you always have a list. 277 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:03,496 Oh. Well, it was transcendent. 278 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,289 I don't know what came over me. 279 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,376 And then--and then, like he read my mind, 280 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,087 he was just gone. 281 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,673 Guess who brought croy-sants. 282 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,345 It's French for pastry. 283 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,766 [whispering] I have to go. 284 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,643 [funky music] 285 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:28,396 [bell clanging] - [laughs] 286 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,106 The bell tolls for thee. 287 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,565 You told everyone? 288 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,734 Does this look like a place of discretion? 289 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,028 Oh, come on. Don't cheapen it. 290 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,613 'Cause I already did! 291 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,448 [laughter] 292 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,741 So who's the lucky guy? 293 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,118 - A lady never-- - Uh-uh, spill. 294 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,452 Yeah, we want details. 295 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,955 Wait, it was Shane. 296 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,456 - No. - Yes. 297 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,708 You had training last night. - It just happened. 298 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,043 You know, a few verres de vin. 299 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,711 - I so called it. - Mm, look at you. 300 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,797 Using your powerful position in publishing 301 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:55,881 to score some tail. 302 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,967 Ooh, baby. 303 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,301 Someone's playing with fire. 304 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,137 You all told me to do it! 305 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,472 Before we hired him, Joyce. 306 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,807 So unprofessional. 307 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,559 Don't listen to him. You deserve it. 308 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,978 Mm, three of my five current stalkers 309 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,521 were former employers. 310 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,148 No, it's not like that. 311 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,941 You were the one worried about the press conference, 312 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,484 and now you've gone and given this boy 313 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,944 something else to think about. 314 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,988 That narrative may fit your tawdry affairs, 315 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,197 but I can assure you 316 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,409 that my eye is squarely on the ball. 317 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,244 Which one? This one or this one? 318 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,121 [laughter] 319 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,794 I'm gonna have to go back and do some forensics here. 320 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,171 I mean, the receipts I get 321 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,089 are on scraps of paper, matchbooks, 322 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,591 toilet tissue sometimes. 323 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:42,011 It's a frigging miracle I get us in the ballpark. 324 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,305 You can take my word, those numbers don't add up. 325 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,308 - And it's a very big ballpark. - Is that my handwriting? 326 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,313 You know what? These are my wife's glasses. 327 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,775 That'll be all, Gerry. 328 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,906 [energetic rock music] 329 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,324 I mean, he's not a crook. 330 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,535 - Just a terrible accountant. - Agreed. 331 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,496 Why don't we round up the troops? 332 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,289 Somebody's gotta know something. 333 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,500 You might as well come clean because we already know. 334 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,376 About the copy machine we fenced? 335 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,047 Sure, I pawned the cameras, but I bought better ones, 336 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,382 and I also made rent, so win-win. 337 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,426 [crying] 338 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,263 ♪ ♪ 339 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,933 ♪ Girl, there's a big, big world out there ♪ 340 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,894 Between the fall of 1970 and the spring of 1971, 341 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,146 yeah, technically, I did live here. 342 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,731 But that's just 'cause I was hiding 343 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,066 from the Lambs of God. 344 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:44,740 Oh, those are mine. 345 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,492 New Pinto. 346 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,786 Bought with money from a dead aunt 347 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:52,248 who died of natural causes. 348 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,624 [whistles casually] 349 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,380 - Did she kill her aunt? - Yes. 350 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,257 This is what happens when you hire people 351 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,051 2:00 a.m. drunk on a Wednesday because they beat you at darts. 352 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,303 Kenny was the best copy editor we've ever had. 353 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,430 I'll defend that hire till the day I die. 354 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,599 Real businesses don't operate this way. 355 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,892 All right. So what do you want me to do? 356 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,270 Fire everyone? Just clean house? 357 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,940 No, but we gotta start somewhere. 358 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,526 Fine. 359 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,027 We'll fire Gerry. 360 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:30,160 - I'm glad we're doing this. - Thank you. 361 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,287 Me too. 362 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:34,290 Um, tomorrow is the big day, 363 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,709 and I just wanted to make sure 364 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:40,087 that we're both understanding what this is. 365 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:43,132 - Looks like fried squid to me. - Yes. Yeah. 366 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,050 That is the food that we ordered. 367 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,178 But on a deeper level... 368 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,682 there are power dynamics in our relationship. 369 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,310 I love when you say smart things. 370 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,522 And, uh, those dynamics make issues of consent complicated. 371 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,275 - Wait, am I in trouble? - No, no, no, not at all. 372 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,652 It's just, um... 373 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,820 last night was fun. 374 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:05,946 Very fun. 375 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,449 But it was just fun. 376 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,368 Yes. I understand what you're saying. 377 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,745 It was just fun. 378 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,747 Right. Yes. Oh, God, good. 379 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,165 Okay. 'Cause we're working together. 380 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,000 No one says you can't have some fun 381 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,211 while you're working together, but we both know what this is. 382 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,880 I am so glad you said something, 383 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,132 because it was on my mind too. 384 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,759 Oh. 385 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,224 [both moaning] 386 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,353 I don't even use these to go to the bathroom. 387 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,646 Where do you go? 388 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,439 What? No, I use bathrooms. 389 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,817 I just don't go in public. Oh, my God, just keep-- 390 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,820 [funky music] 391 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:52,701 ♪ ♪ 392 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,579 I should have debuted the classier logo. 393 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,956 Hello, Norman. 394 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,750 20 Bottom Dollar titles in a decade, 395 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,378 and this is the one that gets a fancy lunch. 396 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,962 [chuckles] Look at you. 397 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,090 William Randolph Hearst reborn. 398 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,716 You know this one's full of dongs 399 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218 and lady opinions, right? 400 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,928 "The Valley Porn Courier" covers all things 401 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,846 Bottom Dollar, not just what I find appealing. 402 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,807 That's a promise I made to my readers. 403 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,351 - Norman. - Your number-one fan. 404 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,686 Hey. 405 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,145 Let me show you to your VIP seat. 406 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,690 - Of course. - We knew he would show up. 407 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:27,569 What about everyone else? - Yeah, it's a--it's a turnout. 408 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,446 - Voilà. - I like it. 409 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,864 - You do? - I do. 410 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,659 We are packed to the gills out there. 411 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,202 Ah, you screwed him again. 412 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,954 Boorish and inappropriate. 413 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,748 And accurate. [both laugh] 414 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,126 It's fine. It's fine. It's under control. 415 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,044 Good. 416 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,088 - You okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. 417 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,883 It's just, um, there's actually people here. 418 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,053 Yeah, because our magazine is a jolt of something new. 419 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,222 It's a whisper and a scream. 420 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:58,684 I guess it is. Just, uh, don't blow it, okay? 421 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,104 - Okay. - Just ignore him. 422 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,981 I support your sexploits. 423 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,774 You should've been doing this a lot sooner. 424 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,109 - I know. - Mm-hmm. 425 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,653 God. What was he so hung up about? 426 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,363 Just think, all of that free love 427 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,865 out there for the taking, and somehow, 428 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,575 I thought I would have to pay for it. 429 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,701 Sorry I'm late. 430 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,619 Pop's van broke down. 431 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,496 - Oh, we're doing that. - You brought your dad? 432 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,332 Both my parents. They're super proud of me. 433 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,001 I'm the first person in my family 434 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,669 to attend a press conference. 435 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,546 Hey, it's time. 436 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,006 Don't be nervous. We did the work. 437 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,300 You're gonna do great. - I'm not nervous. 438 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,136 For the first time, maybe ever, I know exactly what I want. 439 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,345 Well, great. Use that. 440 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,556 - It's you. - What? 441 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,267 You're, like, the sexiest teacher ever, 442 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:43,812 except not married, and, also, I'm of age now. 443 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,482 No. Okay. No, hold on. We were just having fun. 444 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:50,444 Yeah, that's how it started-- with a spark. 445 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,321 But what's love without a spark? 446 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:55,616 [applause] 447 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,825 [flashes popping] 448 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,328 [breathing heavily] 449 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,289 [high-pitched ringing] 450 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,506 [mic feedback whines] 451 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,638 [distantly] Uh, "Minx" is a-- 452 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,015 Oh, "Minx" will establish 453 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,310 the female gaze, uh... 454 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,897 [feedback whines] 455 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,358 We are at the exciting intersection 456 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,945 of feminism and erotica. 457 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,534 [normal voice] Any questions? 458 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,624 Okay, uh... 459 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,961 I would like to introduce Shane Brody. 460 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,047 Shane was selected out of countless applicants 461 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,258 because he was the minxiest. 462 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,301 He is a modern man. 463 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,512 He's a supporter of our mission, 464 00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,888 and he's also-- 465 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,391 - A certified piece - of Grade- - A man-meat. 466 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,936 Ank-you-thay. [laughter] 467 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,898 Yeah, for Shane, tell us what you really had to do 468 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:10,899 to get the job. 469 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,901 I guess impress the boss. 470 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,279 [laughs nervously] 471 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,239 Has your mother seen your debut? 472 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,074 Ask her yourself. She's right there. 473 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,535 Love you, Mom. - I love you too. 474 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,161 That's my boy. 475 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,080 Okay. Let's just pivot back to the-- 476 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,082 - What are your turn-ons? - Turn-offs? 477 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,293 What's your sign, honey? 478 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,461 Tell us about your ideal woman. 479 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,548 - Yeah, are you single? - Is there a Mrs. Man- - Meat? 480 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,639 - Yeah, I do have a new lady. - Oh, no. 481 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,601 She's smart, classy, strong. 482 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,519 She could probably lift anyone in here. 483 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,729 It's happening. 484 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,941 She's patient, proper, a teacher, 485 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,860 and she doesn't have to dress sexy 486 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,446 'cause she already is. 487 00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,282 Oh, my God. Shane's in love with Joyce. 488 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,284 Oh, and she knows how to have just fun, 489 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,454 which is, like, a more pure kind of fun 490 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,414 'cause you're falling in love. 491 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,000 Oh, and when we did it in the bathroom 492 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,627 at the Tony Pony, I realized-- 493 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,337 That no one has asked us a single question 494 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,963 about this very carefully researched 495 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,256 and thoughtful magazine. 496 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,550 So does anyone have a question? 497 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,013 [coughs] 498 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,516 Yeah. 499 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,978 Glenn Hollingsworth, "Lad" magazine. 500 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,982 Glenn, you have a question. 501 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,442 I do. 502 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,154 What do you say to all the female readers out there 503 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,530 who might be curious about "Minx" 504 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,075 but are also intimidated by its content? 505 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,163 Thank you, Glenn. That's a great question. 506 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:52,501 Uh, well-- 507 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,543 Thank you so much. 508 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,046 - Thanks, Joyce. - Yeah. 509 00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,008 I owe you something big. 510 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,219 - These can be brutal. - Yeah. 511 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,012 A little softball never hurt. 512 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,681 The magazine looks great. 513 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,016 It really does. Congratulations. 514 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,560 Thank you. It means a lot. 515 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,604 Maybe we can do lunch sometime. 516 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,730 Sure. Why not? 517 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,065 But not at the club. 518 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,775 Yeah, no, you're banned for life. 519 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,151 They put your picture up front. 520 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:19,736 They did? Like--who's that guy? 521 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,530 That guy that streaked the tennis tournament? 522 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,115 - Stu. - Stu. Stu, yeah. 523 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,533 - Hey. - Oh, God. 524 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,993 You trying to steal my girl? 525 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,661 [laughs] Woman. 526 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,997 Liberated woman who cannot be stolen 527 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,164 and is not property. 528 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,958 That's right. 529 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,213 Well, um, I'll call you. 530 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,716 Okay? - Mm-hmm. 531 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,217 We're going to Marie Callender's. 532 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,885 We? 533 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:44,886 Hi. 534 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,555 They want to meet you. 535 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:49,266 Get to know you like I do, but not have sex. 536 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:50,517 Okay. No, stop. 537 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,853 All right, I think we need to-- 538 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,813 There's been a misunderstanding here, okay? 539 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:58,567 'Cause this isn't real. We're not a couple. 540 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,110 It's not appropriate for me 541 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,779 to meet your very enthusiastic parents, okay? 542 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:06,616 It was just sex. It was just casual sex. 543 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,286 That's what "just fun" means. 544 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,913 So you used me. 545 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:14,541 [scoffs] We were using each other, 546 00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:16,251 in a good way, for pleasure. 547 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:18,628 Don't tell me what I was doing. 548 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:22,299 You say everyone deserves their own voice, right? 549 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,092 Or am I just some pretty little thing to you? 550 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,011 Okay. All right. Okay. I see what you're doing. 551 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,473 But that--no, that's not this, because you're just someone 552 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,851 who technically works for me 553 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:36,146 who I then had sex with. 554 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,106 - I trusted you. - Shane. 555 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,942 I gave you my penis, and I want it back. 556 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,319 Hmm? 557 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,780 I don't want to be in your magazine anymore. 558 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:56,166 [clapping] [chuckles] 559 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,626 Madam editor. 560 00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:01,171 It was a little shaky at first, and then boom. 561 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,298 Save it. Shane's pulled out. 562 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:04,966 I broke his simple little heart. 563 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,968 Well, I'm sorry, but he signed the contract, 564 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,596 which means we own the photos, so we're publishing them, 565 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:11,515 and there's nothing that he can do about it. 566 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,058 Though, what did I say? 567 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,935 Oh, God, you love a Pyrrhic victory. 568 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,229 I don't know what that means, so it doesn't hurt my feelings. 569 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,107 Doug, we cannot publish naked photos of Shane 570 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,525 without his permission. 571 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,568 I mean, yeah, fine, we're legally allowed to, 572 00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:25,862 but what kind of message does that send? 573 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,823 It would send the message that we're good at business. 574 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:29,199 Look, this is hardly the first time 575 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:30,700 a model has gotten cold feet. 576 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,202 Yeah, but we have to be better than that. 577 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:33,662 We have to. In fact, I insist 578 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,413 on holding us to a higher standard. 579 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,624 Listen to you. "A higher standard." 580 00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:40,460 Because you couldn't keep your vag in your pants. 581 00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:42,087 Do you always have to be so crass? 582 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:44,256 All right, Joyce, I'm gonna give it to you straight. 583 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,299 The magazine is printed. 584 00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,218 And I spent more on this rag 585 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:50,887 than anything that I have ever done. 586 00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:54,850 I upped our print run to 500,000 587 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:59,729 at the last minute against the advice of everyone. 588 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,273 [scoffs] 589 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:05,068 If I were to pull this issue, 590 00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:07,904 we'd be done. 591 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,699 And I would be in a hole 592 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,994 so goddamn deep 593 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:17,497 that it would take me years to climb out of. 594 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,710 So... 595 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:25,672 get okay with this or fix it. 596 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,889 [door slams] 597 00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:36,892 [upbeat music] 598 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:43,481 ♪ ♪ 599 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,066 Résumés for Gerry's replacement. 600 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,277 I thought we only fired people on Fridays. 601 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:49,404 You've never fired anyone. 602 00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:52,991 All right. 603 00:24:52,991 --> 00:25:00,165 ♪ ♪ 604 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:07,923 This is insane. 605 00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,507 Can I talk to you? 606 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,557 I took the money. 607 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:20,936 But you already knew that. 608 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,104 A bunch of transfers between off-cycle titles 609 00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:25,815 at the same time as a surprise invoice from the printer? 610 00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:28,401 That shit may fool Gerry-- - I knew you wouldn't approve. 611 00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,153 Your pet project is bleeding us dry, 612 00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,072 and now you're stealing from yourself to hide it from me? 613 00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,074 Okay, maybe I just didn't want you looking at me 614 00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,868 the way you are looking at me right now. 615 00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:38,912 I changed the plan, Tina. 616 00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:41,164 I am sorry. - That's a start. 617 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,959 We both know what you mean to this place. 618 00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:46,378 You are the other half of Bottom Dollar. 619 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:49,506 - I just-- - I need you to trust me on this one. 620 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:51,216 Push down those business smarts 621 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:55,971 that I fucking love about you and trust me. 622 00:25:57,597 --> 00:25:58,932 You know how hard it is 623 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:01,810 to see a burning building and not yell fire? 624 00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:04,479 Well, maybe it's not on fire. 625 00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:07,565 Maybe it's just hot and uncomfortable. 626 00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:16,241 Is this where you come to think? 627 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:21,788 No, this is my job. 628 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:25,834 What are you doing here? 629 00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:27,085 I wanted to talk to you. 630 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,545 Better make it fast, 631 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,423 'cause if there's a fire, I'm gonna have to go. 632 00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:36,553 I think "Minx" is 633 00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,680 a tremendous opportunity for you. 634 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,349 And I know that we haven't talked much 635 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,852 about your hopes and dreams, 636 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:46,813 but modeling can open a lot of doors. 637 00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,860 More modeling. 638 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,070 Acting. 639 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:56,031 You could be a star. [chuckles] 640 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:58,283 I don't want to be a star. 641 00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:01,536 I wanted 400 bucks and to show my dick to the world. 642 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,496 All right, well, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, 643 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:04,789 but you signed a contract, 644 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,458 and Bottom Dollar owns your photos, 645 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,377 so there's nothing either one of us can do about it. 646 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:10,712 Wow. 647 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:13,173 So after all that feminist stuff, 648 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,467 it just comes down to a piece of paper? 649 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:17,844 Yes, Shane. 650 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,138 This is business. 651 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:24,726 And I am here on business and business only. 652 00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:27,479 Um... 653 00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:30,857 God, you're the fourth guy that I have ever slept with 654 00:27:30,857 --> 00:27:32,567 and the only one who wasn't my boyfriend 655 00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:34,819 and by far the best, 656 00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:37,572 but that has more to do with my relationship 657 00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:42,285 to my own body, I think, but still, it was, um, uh... 658 00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:48,958 You were more into me 659 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:52,003 than I was into you, and I knew that. 660 00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:54,297 I should have been more careful. 661 00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:57,217 I just wanted to feel good again, 662 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,928 so I pushed away all reason, 663 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:04,099 and that was really selfish. 664 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,683 It's so irresponsible. 665 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,477 You could have said hi to my parents. 666 00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:09,896 Yes, I should have. 667 00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:16,611 If you don't want to be in "Minx," 668 00:28:16,611 --> 00:28:20,907 then I will figure out a way of killing the issue, 669 00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:24,119 no matter the consequences. 670 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,371 You deserve to have a voice. 671 00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:42,387 ♪ I don't care what they say ♪ 672 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,972 Nice work. 673 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,974 And you got some in the process. 674 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,600 [chuckles] 675 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,521 Let me know if you need help. 676 00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,148 Thank you, Tina. 677 00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:55,316 ♪ Can't you see I live for your touch? ♪ 678 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,986 ♪ Because I believe in you ♪ 679 00:28:57,986 --> 00:29:00,738 ♪ What else can I say? ♪ 680 00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:04,325 ♪ I believe in you, girl ♪ 681 00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:08,037 ♪ If I'm trying to be, go on your way ♪ 682 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,290 - 22 inches. - Brown trout? 683 00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:11,666 - Rainbow. - Shut up. 684 00:29:11,666 --> 00:29:13,042 [laughter] 685 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:16,546 Well, if it isn't Mr. August. 686 00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:19,507 More like Mrs. August. [laughter] 687 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:20,842 His dick's so fancy, 688 00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,510 it probably can't even get wet anymore. 689 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,596 [laughter] 690 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,181 You guys can all laugh, 691 00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:28,391 but I'm the one that feels bad for you. 692 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,020 You're victims, 693 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:35,565 victims of something called the patri-archie. 694 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:40,028 [scoffs] Someday, you'll understand. 695 00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:41,696 ♪ You and I ♪ 696 00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:45,074 ♪ Travel to the beat of a different drum ♪ 697 00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:49,370 ♪ Ah, can't you tell by the way I run ♪ 698 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:53,500 ♪ Every time you make eyes at me ♪ 699 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,543 ♪ Whoa ♪ 700 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,879 ♪ You cry and moan ♪ 701 00:29:57,879 --> 00:30:01,049 ♪ And say it will work out ♪ 702 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:04,928 ♪ But, honey child, I've got my doubts ♪ 703 00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:09,891 ♪ You can't see the forest for the trees ♪ 704 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:12,852 ♪ So don't get me wrong ♪ 705 00:30:12,936 --> 00:30:14,896 ♪ It's not that I knock it ♪ 706 00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,898 ♪ It's just that I ♪ 707 00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,608 ♪ I'm not in the market ♪ 708 00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:22,403 ♪ For a boy who wants to love ♪ 709 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,907 ♪ Only me ♪ 710 00:30:25,907 --> 00:30:28,826 ♪ Yes, and I ain't saying ♪ 711 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:30,578 ♪ You ain't pretty ♪ 712 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:34,415 ♪ All I'm saying's I'm not ready ♪ 713 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:38,503 ♪ For any person, place, or thing ♪ 714 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:41,798 ♪ To try and pull the reins ♪ 715 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:44,425 ♪ In on me ♪ 716 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:48,346 ♪ So goodbye ♪ 717 00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:49,973 ♪ I'll be leaving ♪ 718 00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:52,350 ♪ I see no sense ♪ 719 00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:53,977 ♪ In this crying and grieving ♪ 720 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:56,437 ♪ We'll both live a lot longer ♪ 721 00:30:56,521 --> 00:31:00,817 ♪ If you live without me ♪ 722 00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:03,361 ♪ ♪