1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,047 [school bell rings] 2 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,633 I'm sorry I was late, Miss Melons. 3 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,845 I promise it'll never happen again. 4 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,597 I'm sorry, can we take a short break? 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,765 I just have a tiny question. 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,100 Okay. Make it quick, Bambi. 7 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,227 Blackboard's a rental. - Right. 8 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,271 Just wondering, should I really be punishing her? 9 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:24,065 Uh, yeah. That's kind of the premise of the magazine. 10 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,483 No, I get that. 11 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,486 It's just that maybe she was tardy for a reason. 12 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,364 Did anyone ask her? Maybe there's trouble at home. 13 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,199 Sexy trouble. 14 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,954 These are the naughty schoolgirls of Bad Girl High. 15 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,497 They do bad stuff. - Mm-hmm. 16 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,375 You spank their bottoms. That's the whole story. 17 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,710 Typically, yes. 18 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,421 Uh, but maybe not in this instance. 19 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,798 Okay? Staci, please rise. 20 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,385 Hey, you can tell me. 21 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,804 Was there a reason that you were late this morning? 22 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,598 Uh... 23 00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,893 Um... 24 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,312 my dad was working late. 25 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,564 Right. 'Cause he's a cop 26 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,817 and he works the graveyard shift with his partner, Rico. 27 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,278 Yeah. Yeah, and there was a shootout. 28 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,821 And Rico didn't make it, 29 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,448 so you were comforting your dad. 30 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,534 Well, since Mom died, I'm all he's got. 31 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,787 And for this she is getting spanked? 32 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,455 We should be supporting her, 33 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,124 not punishing her for her kindness. 34 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,335 Times they are a-changing, Phil. 35 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,879 Staci needs to be getting her degree 36 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,840 so she can bring this compassion to the workforce. 37 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,675 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, 38 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,302 but this is the energy we need. 39 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,845 I'm trying to make an important point here, Phil. 40 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,972 This isn't "Minx." We don't do points. 41 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,015 Stacy, bend over. 42 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,351 And, uh, lick the apple. 43 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,394 [The Rhino's "Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'"] 44 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:44,687 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,190 ♪ Gimme, gimme good lovin' ♪ 46 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,192 ♪ Every night ♪ 47 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,736 You know it's all right now. child. 48 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,030 - Hey, Terri. - Hi. 49 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,449 - Ooh, lookin' good, Joel. - Ah, thanks, Joyce. 50 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,742 Great. 51 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,912 Oh, Alisdair. He got his fur washed. 52 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,374 Hey. Carnal Coeds back in session, 53 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,084 are they? - I wish. 54 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,336 I'm somehow on the tenure track at Bad Girl High. 55 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,547 Speaking of, if there's any way 56 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,131 I can be more involved at "Minx"... 57 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,633 What happened to centerfold coordination? 58 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,134 Well, turns out that's a two-day-a-month job, 59 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,719 but I have 30 days of inspiration. 60 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,471 Well yeah, sure. What do you have in mind? 61 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,433 Um, I could always do the, um... 62 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,646 Or, um, you know the, uh... 63 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,398 You know what? You just have a think 64 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,732 and you let me know. - Okay. 65 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,359 - Okay? - Bonjour, ma belle. 66 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,527 Bonjour. 67 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,862 Guess what you get to approve? 68 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,738 Oh, my God, really? Already? 69 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,824 How do they look? - Oh, decent. 70 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,326 I think maybe next time I'd go two stops darker. 71 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,619 But, uh, you tell me. 72 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,413 Oh, they're even better than I imagined. 73 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,956 Oh, thank God you think so too! 74 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,000 I love that we're saying something, you know? 75 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,918 You see the pain in his eyes? 76 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,212 It's like he's internalizing the harassment 77 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,922 endured by generations of women. 78 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,215 That's actually the moment 79 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,925 he found out what we're paying him. 80 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,343 - Oh, well-- - Hey, kid. 81 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,720 - Yeah? - You ready to go? 82 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,805 Yes. Been ready my whole life. 83 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,891 Just selling ad space for my magazine. 84 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,267 - He's taking you with him? - Yup. 85 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,393 Culmination of a childhood dream. 86 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:06,811 No big deal. 87 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,104 It is a big deal. 88 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,564 - I'm here if you need me. - Great. 89 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:10,732 Right on! 90 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,569 I'm not recognizing a lot of these buyers. 91 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,321 What happened to the mission-driven nonprofits 92 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,114 I mentioned? - Oh, we need companies 93 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,991 who can actually give us money. 94 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,076 That's kind of how we finance this operation 95 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,245 unless you wanna sell "Minx" for 49.99. 96 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,581 - I would pay that. - Oh, cool. Well, that's one. 97 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,374 Oh, can we add the Feminist Federal Credit Union? 98 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,627 Joycie, my ad guys did their homework. 99 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,629 These are all huge gets. 100 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,757 We'll be lucky if any of these people want in, okay? 101 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,008 Don't be nervous. 102 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,302 Just be your classy Harvard self. 103 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,471 - Vassar. - Whatever. 104 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,642 Women's liberation. What does it mean? 105 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,769 Well, I'll tell you what it means to me. 106 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:52,148 It means liberating women from the $400 million 107 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,652 in disposable income they spend every year. 108 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:59,280 Our format melds the precepts of female emancipation 109 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,241 with mature but thematically appropriate content. 110 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:06,079 We think of ourselves as creating the female gaze. 111 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,749 Women are sexual, but it starts with the brain. 112 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:16,005 You see, one issue of "Cosmo" sold over 3 million copies 113 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,299 in one month. 114 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,510 Why? 'Cause that good old Burt Reynolds 115 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,554 showed his hairy thighs. 116 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,348 Not your cup of tea, maybe not mine. 117 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,683 Who cares? 118 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,059 [voice fades, echoes] 'Cause we're talking 119 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,686 about money--a lot of money. 120 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,813 And I'm guessing that's what-- 121 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,941 So much flavor in one little box. 122 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,359 [tense chords] 123 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,694 Wolfhagen. 124 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,197 Three beers takes me from bow to wow! 125 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,449 [laughing] 126 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,619 [Doug continues in background] 127 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,038 Yum-derwear. 128 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,625 A candy coating for that juicy center. 129 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,544 I'm telling you, Minx is gonna give it to 'em 130 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,546 and we're gonna give it to 'em good. 131 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,548 [elevator bell dings] Maybe two, but Pleasure Garden? 132 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,258 I mean, they're huge and they never had a way 133 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,176 to market directly to women. Now they do. 134 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:06,055 So 10, 15 ads-- that alone pays for our book. 135 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,766 Kid, we're gonna wet the panties 136 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,436 of every chick in America. - [groans] 137 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:16,149 Hey, where're you going? The car is that way. 138 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,777 What's the problem, Joyce? That went great. 139 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,071 The ads were an affront to all womenkind. 140 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,825 And those products-- ball gags and French ticklers? 141 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,827 What's the pr-- do you hate sex? 142 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,204 No. No! It's--no. 143 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,331 I--it's just--it's--it's-- 144 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,292 No. It's supposed to be private is all. 145 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,878 And it's just people like me, we don't discuss... 146 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,421 vaginal lubricant. 147 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,797 Don't be such a snob. 148 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,550 The world does not begin and end in Pasadena. 149 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,260 Yeah. Our magazine might, though. 150 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,553 Okay. 151 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,430 If want a certain kind of reader, 152 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,641 we have to advertise upscale products. 153 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,561 Okay? We gotta lure them in with pantyhose 154 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,730 and perfume--things that make them feel safe. 155 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,858 You think I never tried to get Cadillacs and caviar? 156 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,194 Classy companies have never put their ad 157 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,862 across from a pair of titties. 158 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,031 And they're certainly not going anywhere near a dong. 159 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,700 Yeah, no. Obviously not when you talk about it like that. 160 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,619 Maybe it's better if I just speak with 161 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,872 the high-end buyers directly. 162 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,957 What? 163 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,459 What does she think she's gonna do? 164 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,003 Just cold call a shampoo company? 165 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,546 - Doug. - I mean, I only 166 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,465 brought her along so that these guys would know 167 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,133 that I was legit. 168 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,094 Tin, she's like the, um... 169 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,346 she's like the hood ornament, right? 170 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,640 But me, I'm the whole car. 171 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,183 - You done? - No, I'm never done. 172 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,227 You know that. But go ahead. 173 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:36,771 It pains me to say this, 174 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,731 but they kind of liked the hood ornament. 175 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,900 Pleasure Garden called. They want in. 176 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,902 - No kidding? - But their in-house guys 177 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,487 don't know how to do an ad for ladies, 178 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,197 so they want us to spec it for them. 179 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,491 [chuckles] Joyce is gonna love this. 180 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,993 You jokers hit the jackpot on this one. 181 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,746 This ad is gonna write itself. 182 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,915 All hail Lucifer's Horn. 183 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,583 What's the deal with the double ends? 184 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,544 Those "Minx" chicks got two fox holes or something? 185 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,003 It's for lesbians, Perry. 186 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,005 You know, the only women not attracted to you. 187 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,340 Give me five minutes with 'em. 188 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,801 Five minutes seems about right. 189 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,513 There have to be better advertisers than that. 190 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,265 Do you get who your audience is? 191 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,518 I mean, "Minx" is for sexually liberated chicks, okay? 192 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:18,896 Yes, but our penis is for political purposes, okay? 193 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,356 It's about shifting power dynamics 194 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:21,691 and gender reparations. 195 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,192 Kid, I hate to break it to you, 196 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,194 but you can't control what readers are gonna do 197 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,445 with that fireman's schlong. 198 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,281 Some might even jerk off to it. 199 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,532 I don't have to help them do that. 200 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,742 And no one's asking you to. 201 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,202 I got my best ad guys on it. 202 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,622 [rock and roll music in background] 203 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,957 Oh, my God. 204 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,042 I could have done anything with my life. 205 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,586 I did quite well on the GRE. 206 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,672 [smooth instrumental music] 207 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:51,721 ♪ ♪ 208 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,306 [sighs] 209 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,814 [bright band music] 210 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,902 ♪ ♪ 211 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,030 Oh, my God. It's as big as his thigh! 212 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,532 Oh, Pedro, more tea please. 213 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,409 Thank you so much. This is so cool. 214 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,077 I feel like a secret agent. 215 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,872 Yeah, well, it might stay a secret forever. 216 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,916 Doug's ads, I'm telling you, they could kill "Minx" 217 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,417 before it even gets off the ground. 218 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,127 I think you're overreacting. Thank you. 219 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,671 Oh, really? You do? Okay, so would be comfortable 220 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,590 getting your nails done, reading a magazine 221 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,967 full of double dongs. - Double--doubles? 222 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,094 Doubles, did you say? - The Prigger sisters. 223 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,930 - [laughs] Hi, Mr. Ross. - Hello, Mr. Ross. 224 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,848 Oh, bacon. 225 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,268 Your generation of ladies-- not afraid to eat. 226 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,937 - Oh. - It does keep one alive. 227 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:44,273 My wife, she swears by half a grapefruit each morning 228 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,442 and then on Wednesday, she adds cottage cheese. 229 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,736 Well, I've seen Bitsy on the courts, 230 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,446 and she's looking incredibly trim. 231 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,698 Yeah. If only she had Joyce's forehand. 232 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,076 Oh, ha ha, well, she more than makes up for it 233 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,827 with that nasty backhand of hers. 234 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,287 Oh, pancakes. 235 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:02,166 [laughs] I see someone is treating themselves. 236 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,669 How dare they! [both laugh] 237 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,254 "On Thursdays I permit Bitsy 238 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,130 to loosen her girdle by one notch." 239 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,757 Oh, she sniffs two blueberries 240 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,009 and then downs a fistful of Dexedrine. 241 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,719 [laughs] - How does that fossil 242 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,137 stay in power? 243 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,847 Mr. Ross has been president here for, what, 244 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,432 like, 30 years? - Yeah. 245 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,684 He's the richest. 246 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,477 And all these men love to suck up. 247 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:24,355 You know it's not just tea parties and tennis here, Joyce. 248 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,233 This is a place of business. 249 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,193 I bet there are people here who could teach me 250 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,778 a thing or two about advertising. 251 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:33,406 You know, like, give me the tools that I need 252 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,324 to convince Doug to let me do it my way. 253 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,618 Well, yeah, I mean, there's more CEOs on the golf course 254 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:41,455 right now than this Doug fella has met in his entire life. 255 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,916 [lively music] 256 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,043 Mr. Irving. Oh, I was so sorry 257 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,586 to hear about the tournament. 258 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,381 What happened to your niece, it was a travesty. 259 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,508 She doesn't hold a candle to you on the courts. 260 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,802 - Oh. - You were like a gazelle. 261 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,055 That is very sweet. Um, while I have you-- 262 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,182 I'm in a new entrepreneurial venture, 263 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,684 and I'd love to pick your brain. 264 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,311 How do you make ad buys? 265 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,438 Is that agency based or is that business to business? 266 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,398 [yawns] I came here to relax, Miss Prigger, 267 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,525 not educate impudent young ladies. 268 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,860 Uh-huh. 269 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,737 What do you look for in advertising partners? 270 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,865 Just a vague description would suffice. 271 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,700 It's a magazine with a penis. 272 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,285 That sounds very nice. 273 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,538 Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. 274 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,292 - I like looking at pictures. - Do you? 275 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,045 "While he's serving his country, 276 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,464 she's serving herself." 277 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,674 Vietnam? I don't know, guys. 278 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,676 Maybe we leave politics out of it. 279 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,178 Well, it's a cool gun though, isn't it? 280 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,971 Yeah. And she has a weapon of her own. 281 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,222 See the symmetry? 282 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,683 No, I got it. What's next, guys? 283 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,729 "No one will know your dirty little secret." 284 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,689 [inhales sharply] Kinda shamey, right? 285 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,483 I mean, we want them to buy it. 286 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,985 - Yeah. Yeah. - Okay. Uh... 287 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,072 "When you don't have a ring, it's the next best thing." 288 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,406 Okay, that's just mean. 289 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,908 Doesn't make it not true, though. 290 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,743 Guys, we don't wanna bully these women. 291 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,119 We wanna get them off. 292 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,913 Okay. We did have this one other one. 293 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,623 It might be a little closer to what you're looking for. 294 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,916 - Let's see it. - We were thinking 295 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,086 women love strength, right? Mm? 296 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,214 "Trust the machine." 297 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,093 All right. Thanks, guys. Great. 298 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,511 Well, that was a bust. 299 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,929 All they're willing to talk to me about 300 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,555 is my figure and my tennis game. 301 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,432 Oh, your forehand was a marvel. 302 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,768 But I guess they call it a boys' club for a reason. 303 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,228 Oh, my God. What now? 304 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,563 - Uh, Miss Prigger, um... - Yeah, hi. 305 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,441 Little bird told me that you've been conducting business 306 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,859 on club grounds. 307 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,152 Yeah, I was trying to, anyway. 308 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,821 You boys make it look so easy. 309 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,115 Then I became aware that you are marketing explicit 310 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,784 and scandalous content to young women? 311 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:45,287 I wouldn't call women's liberation scandalous. 312 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,289 Well, you always were 313 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,376 the club rabble-rouser, weren't you? 314 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,379 I don't wanna be mean, Doug, 315 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,964 but these make me hate myself, 316 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,465 and I love myself. 317 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,800 These make me hate men. 318 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,301 And they kind of make me hate you. 319 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,262 - Oh, yeah. For sure. - Please simmer down. 320 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,721 That's why I brought you guys in here, 321 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,515 to get a female perspective, right? 322 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,225 So I don't know. Bambi, 323 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,852 what would make you buy a vibrator? 324 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,687 - - I don't know-- - I have a whole drawer full already. 325 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,149 But, I don't know, maybe if it tickled a little deeper 326 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:17,111 or if it went, like, a-- [makes rhythmic buzzing noise] 327 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,988 Like a syncopation thing. 328 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,489 Or maybe if it played music. 329 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,408 Oh, also price is important. I'm on a budget. 330 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,160 These are all really great. 331 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,037 Any ideas how to take that brainstorm and put it on paper? 332 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,373 Um... 333 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,168 [sighs] No. 334 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,879 I guess I can't be a magazine advertising person. 335 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,422 [whistle] 336 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,259 Guess who harpooned a whale! 337 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,553 Whoo! 338 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,346 [claps] Yeah! 339 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,849 And then he said, "I personally find nudity 340 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,727 "to be distasteful, but I believe this venture of yours 341 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,021 will be popular with modern women." 342 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,856 And I think he meant "modern" like an insult, 343 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,357 but I will take what I can get. 344 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,401 Beckley Cosmetics? I never heard of them. 345 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,862 It's just one of Mr. Ross' many holdings, 346 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,197 a fact that you would know 347 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,781 if you had researched upscale markets. 348 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,825 Beckley's market is the old folks' home. 349 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,703 No one under 80 wears it. - And they test on bunnies. 350 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,206 Oh, my God. Enough with the bunnies, okay? 351 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,541 All they do is shit and fuck. - So do we. 352 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,210 How many ads is this guy buying? 353 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,504 We will know after our pitch at the club tomorrow, 354 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:20,049 5:00 on the dot during the Summer Soirée. 355 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,594 Great. Well, let me know how it goes. 356 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,054 Uh, y--well, actually, 357 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,389 - I-- - I suggested to Mr. Ross 358 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,225 that he sit with you as well. 359 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,684 Just out of respect, you know, 360 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,311 so that we both have a voice in the process. 361 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,897 He wants to meet your male publisher. 362 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,066 All right, fine. There is a patriarchal mindset 363 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,567 amongst the establishment. 364 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,778 But that is exactly why we need "Minx," okay? 365 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,030 It's to dismantle these systems of oppression. 366 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,698 One lipstick ad at a time. 367 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,243 I wanna go on record and say that this is bullshit. 368 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,870 It's a rich-girl-favor meeting 369 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,164 and I will come and I will give it my best, 370 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,749 but if this doesn't work, 371 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:55,584 you're all in on the Pleasure Garden. 372 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,920 Your skepticism is my fuel. 373 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,588 - Ooh, we're shaking. - Mm-hmm. 374 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,799 Saddle up, partners, we're going to the "cunty" club. 375 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,259 - Um... - Well, if you're gonna 376 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,677 drag me to some lame party, 377 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,220 I'm bringing people who can hang. 378 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,014 Well, it's just they won't have fun there. 379 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,266 Clubs are a gas. 380 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,684 JP Getty and I used to make love 381 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,269 on the golf course at Maidstone. 382 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,354 Mm. And I love mingling with the colonizers. 383 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,648 Tins, you do love a raw bar. 384 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,150 Not as much as I love an open bar. 385 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,236 Oh. [chuckles] Wow. 386 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,862 The more the merrier, then. 387 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,699 Looks like the hood ornament's driving the car now. 388 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,785 [Lord Kitchener's "The Road"] 389 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:34,290 ♪ ♪ 390 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,625 ♪ I had whole day plannin' ♪ 391 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,169 ♪ All kind of I'm comin' ♪ 392 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,880 ♪ I had whole day plannin' ♪ 393 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,133 ♪ All kind of I'm comin' ♪ 394 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,969 ♪ They said there will be people ♪ 395 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,637 ♪ And they don't care 'bout trouble ♪ 396 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,639 ♪ But tell them don't worry with me ♪ 397 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,392 ♪ Is a different thing, 1963 ♪ 398 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,768 ♪ Because the road... ♪ 399 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562 Joyce. 400 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,402 - Hello, Glenn. - I, uh-- 401 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,154 I-I didn't think you'd be here. 402 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,156 Uh, well, I do still belong, so... 403 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,991 Right. Um... 404 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,619 Glenneth, where'd you put my wrap? 405 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,163 Joyce, this is-- this is my friend, Kitty. 406 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,789 Kitty Lawson. 407 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,708 Oh, my God, of course. Yeah. I used to-- 408 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,001 I used to babysit you. 409 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,586 When I was eight. 410 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,504 You pierced my ears with an ice cube and a potato. 411 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,466 That's right. I did do that for you. 412 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,426 - The holes stretched. - Oh. 413 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,470 My lobes are so delicate. 414 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,805 They might as well be made of gossamer. 415 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,391 Emma! - How are you? 416 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,435 We missed you at the croquet party. 417 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,062 [sighs] Sorry. 418 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,647 I-I hope this isn't too awkward for you. 419 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:40,856 No. No. 420 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,317 No, it's not awkward for me at all. 421 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027 No, um--she needed a new sitter 422 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,196 when I went off to college anyway, so... 423 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,864 You take care, okay? Nice to see you. 424 00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,702 I asked for a Grasshopper. 425 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,120 Did you? 426 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,914 Oh, sorry, Kendra. It's taken. 427 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,416 This one's taken. Keep moving. 428 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,044 Oh, I didn't even know you owned a dress. 429 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,088 Taken. - All right, Shelly. 430 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,673 You just need to calm down. 431 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,132 This is your first advertising pitch 432 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,884 and I just want it to be perfect, right? 433 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,386 Yeah, it will be. 434 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,721 Uh-uh. Can you not see I'm standing here? 435 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:13,889 Roger. 436 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,474 Eileen, I love that dress. 437 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,644 [Stonehenge's "King of the Golden Hall"] 438 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,563 ♪ ♪ 439 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,898 ♪ Hey ♪ 440 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:27,861 ♪ ♪ 441 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,906 ♪ Three rings for the Elven kings ♪ 442 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,701 ♪ Underneath the sky ♪ 443 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,995 ♪ One for the Dark Lord ♪ 444 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,998 ♪ On his dark throne ♪ 445 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,583 ♪ Yeah ♪ 446 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,419 ♪ A missed dream ♪ 447 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,256 ♪ Gotta stop it now ♪ 448 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,217 ♪ The burning desire, yeah ♪ 449 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,885 Mm. So many shrimp. 450 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,345 Ooh, and the big ones, too. 451 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,472 What are you wearing? 452 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,015 What? You said "Dress for the occasion." 453 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,600 This looks like the "Rich and Horny" wardrobe. 454 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,102 That's because it is. 455 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,812 Look, it was either this or "Victorian Vixens." 456 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,106 Please excuse my sister's lack of manners. 457 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,191 I think you look just fine. I'm Shelly. 458 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,193 - Oh, hey. - Hi. Oh--hi. 459 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,279 Hi. Shelly. Shelly. 460 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,864 Shelly. - Older or younger? 461 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,657 Someone's been brought up right. 462 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,242 - Well-- - So, I gotta say, this place 463 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,952 is not as nice as I thought it would be. 464 00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,787 The hedges need pruning. - Oh, that's 'cause it's June 465 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,622 and the wrens are still nesting in them. 466 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,583 I have the same problem at my chateau. 467 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,834 - Okay. - Okay. 468 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,544 Let's get this show on the road. 469 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,629 Oh, good, I have a table saved all right over here-- 470 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,256 Oh, the Coopers. 471 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,424 Hey, Dianne. 472 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,427 all: L'Chaim. - Oh. 473 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,221 Let's introduce you to Mr. Ross, okay? 474 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,141 Who gives a mare's behind? They're bunnies. 475 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,393 What are we supposed to do, test on humans? 476 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,061 A good point as always, Mr. Ross. 477 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,855 They're unhinged, these activists. 478 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,732 What's next, a ban on DDT? 479 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,650 [all laugh] - Gentlemen. 480 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,153 I see you put your face on for the evening. 481 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,072 Oh, I just wore a little eyeliner, that's all. 482 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,077 - [laughs] - [chuckles] 483 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,371 This must be the famous Mr. Renetti. 484 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,373 It is. You have a beautiful club here, sir. 485 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,875 Lovely hedges. 486 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,627 Yeah, well, they're a bit unruly this time of year. 487 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,253 The ladies are quite up in arms 488 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,547 about protecting the wrens. - Oh, those ladies. 489 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,299 They have opinions about everything these days. 490 00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,051 - We do. - They've made my business 491 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,427 quite...challenging. 492 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,970 - Oh, I bet. - We feel we can help you. 493 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,014 You seem to have figured it out, hm? 494 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,016 60% growth in the last five years, 495 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,768 4 million circulation. 496 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,144 You've done your homework, sir. 497 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,562 Yeah, he has. 498 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,189 So that is why we believe that "Minx" can really 499 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,358 help you because it is a platform-- 500 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,026 Okay. Okay. Enough of the chit-chat. 501 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:33,779 But maybe we should get down to brass tacks. 502 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,197 Yes, I would love that. 503 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,990 My thoughts exactly. - Mr. Renetti, 504 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,826 let's adjourn to the lounge. 505 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,202 I hope you're a Cohiba man. 506 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,662 If you got 'em, I'll smoke 'em. 507 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:44,248 - [laughs] - I'll see you later, then. 508 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,503 [cheerful music] 509 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:56,093 ♪ ♪ 510 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:59,096 [Doug laughs] 511 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,351 I mean, baby oil works great as, like, a base, 512 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:05,894 but if you wanna be really brown, you have to 513 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,396 add Crisco and then spray yourself with Pam. 514 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,856 Honey, that's how I roast a ham. 515 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,566 [both laugh] 516 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,150 And here I thought you were Portuguese. 517 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,777 No, no, no. I'm white as heck. 518 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,320 She's like a ghost really. 519 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,239 You know what, Bambi is so talented. 520 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,366 She can open beer bottles with her teeth. 521 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,993 Pick up tissues with ropes of spit. 522 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,536 - Uh-uh. - Mm-hmm. 523 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,665 - Yup. - Wow. 524 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,292 - There it is. - Are they all mouth related? 525 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,085 Well, my tongue was clipped when I was two. 526 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,837 - Okay. - I have a lot of party tricks 527 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,755 but not a lot of actual skills. 528 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,424 And working with your sister is so amazing. 529 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,967 I mean, she cares about so many things. 530 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,635 - Yeah. - I wanna make a difference. 531 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,095 You'll figure it out. 532 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,222 Eleanor Roosevelt started out as arm candy too. 533 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,390 To Eleanor! 534 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,766 Yes! [laughter] 535 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,727 Oh, my God. Your lives seem so fun. 536 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,021 All I do with my mouth is yell. 537 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,776 Can I interest you in a twilight swim? 538 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,112 Uh, I didn't bring my suit. 539 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,573 You don't need one. 540 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,128 [laughs] Oh, you're kidding. 541 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,588 Really? - Yeah. 542 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,048 I gotta hand it to you, you set a nice hook. 543 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,758 It was a pretty easy reel-in for me. 544 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,302 I mean, obviously I'm no angling enthusiast, 545 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,304 but I think I can get what that means from context. 546 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,973 He wants the inside cover for some fancy skin line 547 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,100 and then a few half-pages for, I don't know, 548 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,685 some eye-related goo. But he's in. 549 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,438 It looks like Cadillacs and caviar are in play. 550 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,482 - [laughs] - Au revoir, le double dong. 551 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,858 Oh, my God. 552 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,401 One other thing is, uh, 553 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,947 Mr. Ross wants me to toss in a night with Bambi. 554 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,743 Uh, you're not suggesting-- 555 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,496 I am. In order to close the deal, 556 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,289 he wants a night with Bambi at his-- 557 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,625 I guess you could call it his "fuck pad" at the Ravenswood. 558 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,627 But I will defer to you. 559 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:57,506 I'll let you decide if those terms are acceptable. 560 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,841 Ha ha, very funny. 561 00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:02,886 This is his address and the code 562 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,179 to get in the back entrance. 563 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:05,764 You could try it yourself, 564 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,516 just be prepared for a handsy old man 565 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,434 who probably only gets semi-hard. 566 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:17,484 I'm sorry, kid, but this card is who these people really are. 567 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,576 [mellow acoustic music playing] 568 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,036 ♪ ♪ 569 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,163 This isn't music. 570 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,749 No, "The Great American Songbook," 571 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,835 now, that is music. 572 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:38,005 No, poetry. 573 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:42,050 ♪ Night and day, you are the one ♪ 574 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,886 ♪ Only you beneath the moon ♪ 575 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,888 ♪ And under the sun ♪ 576 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,724 Hope I'm not interrupting. 577 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,726 Cole Porter is who you're interrupting. 578 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,728 I hear we're going to be in business. 579 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,563 You heard right, young lady. 580 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:57,566 Your partner, Mr. Renetti, got a good head on his shoulders. 581 00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,944 So is this the address we should use for your contract? 582 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:07,576 All my life, you've lorded over this club. 583 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:11,079 And I have had to listen to your toasts and your agendas 584 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,249 and your archaic rules about dressing modestly 585 00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,625 and acting with decorum. 586 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,294 I don't know what you're insinuating, 587 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,671 but clearly, you have misread the situation. 588 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,506 Oh, so you're not a vile misogynist 589 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,593 who makes a deal to have a human being 590 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,094 delivered to his bed? 591 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,180 [music and conversation stops] 592 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,309 It's all right, everyone. 593 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:35,395 It's just Miss Prigger in one of her tizzies. 594 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,105 [laughs] Yeah. Yeah. 595 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:40,817 And that was just Mr. Ross' hand on my ass 596 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:44,821 when I was 12 years old and won the Juniors Tennis Tournament. 597 00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:48,283 You wanna know why I'm never on the courts anymore? 598 00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:51,203 It's because that ass grab made me quit. 599 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:58,627 Oh, none of you are gonna say anything? 600 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,797 You are an embarrassment. 601 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:05,467 It's a good thing your father didn't live to see this day. 602 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,345 Ooh-- [crowd gasps] 603 00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:11,473 [grunting] 604 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,809 Oh, my God. Oh, God. 605 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:17,729 [crowd mutters] 606 00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,189 Uh... 607 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,192 [clears throat] 608 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,444 [gasping, grunting] 609 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,615 [spits] [crowd gasps] 610 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,119 [Mr. Ross gasping] 611 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,912 You're fine. 612 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,501 [light acoustic music] 613 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,170 [radio chatter] 614 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,006 God, I've wanted to do that for years. 615 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,467 I didn't even know you could break three ribs at once. 616 00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:48,760 Doug told me what he said, 617 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,470 so I gave it a little extra oomph. 618 00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,889 - So a new talent. - Ooh. 619 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,516 Jesus, Prigger. 620 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:57,144 Who knew you could throw a punch? 621 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,688 I can never come back to this place. 622 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,732 And I think I'm fine with that. 623 00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:05,777 Hey, Joyce, when I, uh-- 624 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,613 when I met that man and realized that he might actually 625 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:12,242 advertise in our magazine, I'm not gonna lie to you, kid, 626 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:13,910 I got-- 627 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,745 I got really excited. 628 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,123 Yeah. 629 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,542 I mean, what, you don't think I want to, uh, 630 00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,294 I don't know, be in business with people 631 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,546 who've got real money? [laughs] 632 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,382 Chum it up at The Palm on somebody else's dime? 633 00:24:27,382 --> 00:24:29,176 Yeah, that's not-- 634 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,886 that's not where we are, though. 635 00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:33,763 No, but I believe we will be. 636 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:37,100 You and me together on our terms. 637 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,435 I like the sound of that. 638 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,061 Good. 639 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,063 'Cause I need you to do something for me. 640 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,940 Oh, God. 641 00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:46,985 There's so many textures and sizes. 642 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,070 Oh, this one has a very realistic vein. 643 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,115 Oh, I got an idea. How about, "Dildos. 644 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:54,451 When every other advertiser says no." 645 00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:58,288 Can I ask a crazy question? 646 00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:02,584 Is it really so bad to let women know about sex toys? 647 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,544 What woman wants a sex toy? 648 00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,296 I don't know anyone who uses them. 649 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:09,466 - Uh, yes you do. - Oh? 650 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,721 Oh. - Yeah, it's the only way I 651 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:18,934 can, um...get to the end, per se. 652 00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,061 So not with Lenny? 653 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,146 No, I mean, sex feels nice, but I just-- 654 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:26,149 I need something to push me over the edge. 655 00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:28,193 For a long time, I thought there was 656 00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:29,611 something wrong with me. 657 00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:33,114 If I'd been aware of these, um...helpers, 658 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:35,033 you know, when I was first married, 659 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:37,118 it might have saved me a lot of tears 660 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:40,789 and a scary trip downtown with a wig and glasses. 661 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,667 I had no idea. 662 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:45,961 Yeah, well, we don't talk about this kind of stuff. 663 00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:48,380 Well, maybe we should. 664 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,965 Yeah. Okay. 665 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,133 Uh, what's your favorite way to masturbate? 666 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:53,802 Oh, my God, no. [laughs] 667 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:55,303 Excuse me, Miss. 668 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,639 I just told you some very personal things. 669 00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:59,599 Things only my hairdresser knows. 670 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,101 [laughs] No. 671 00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,311 - I d-- - I don't do it, anyway, so-- 672 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:04,813 Not really. So it's just, you know-- 673 00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:06,815 It makes me feel, um... 674 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,358 Ugh. It's dumb. 675 00:26:08,358 --> 00:26:10,151 So the only way you can get pleasure 676 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,778 is when you're with a man? 677 00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:13,780 That's not very feminist, Joycie. 678 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,657 I mean, what would Gloria Steinem say? 679 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:17,075 I hope if I ever meet Gloria Steinem, 680 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,702 we are not talking about masturbating. 681 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:20,412 And I very much hope that you are. 682 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,747 She probably has a few tricks up her sleeve, 683 00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:23,999 you know? - [laughs] 684 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:25,208 All right, I'll see you later. 685 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:28,461 Use this one. Level 4. Okay? 686 00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:42,600 [mellow pop/rock] 687 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:48,898 ♪ ♪ 688 00:26:56,114 --> 00:27:01,494 ♪ I found it very hard to realize ♪ 689 00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:04,414 ♪ ♪ 690 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,708 ♪ That you ♪ 691 00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:10,628 ♪ Stole the love inside from my eyes ♪ 692 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:14,257 ♪ ♪ 693 00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:17,260 [vibrator buzzes] 694 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:24,184 ♪ ♪ 695 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:25,643 Ahh. 696 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,562 Ahh! 697 00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:30,106 [moans, laughs] 698 00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:32,192 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 699 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,944 [moaning] Holy moly! 700 00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:39,157 ♪ With everything that you do ♪ 701 00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:46,414 ♪ To me, I coulda been a stray for you ♪ 702 00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:53,838 ♪ You turn me upside down ♪ 703 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:58,301 ♪ You treated me like a clown ♪ 704 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:04,307 ♪ I, I didn't read the play between the lines ♪ 705 00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:08,728 ♪ I acted out the part you had in mind ♪ 706 00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:17,112 ♪ For me, I play the part you want so very well ♪ 707 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:21,074 ♪ 'Cause I'm the only one I couldn't tell ♪ 708 00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:27,622 ♪ That playing off was what you do so well ♪ 709 00:28:27,622 --> 00:28:34,796 ♪ ♪ 710 00:28:57,694 --> 00:29:03,825 ♪ You, you took me in, I didn't realize ♪ 711 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:07,829 ♪ Pulling me to you is no surprise ♪ 712 00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:14,335 ♪ 'Cause everything you told me was a lie ♪