[♪ ominous music playing]
[furnace roaring]
[furnace door creaks]
[coals hissing]
[furnace door creaks]
[huffs]
[♪ ominous music continues]
[door bangs]
[Boone] It's time.
Today, family, marks the end of thousands of years
of death and destruction.
As we reunify these all-powerful weapons into a single relic,
we take the final step in healing this malignant world.
[forge whirring]
This is for the millions of lives
that have been torn asunder between the jaws of violence.
[weapon sizzles]
For the mortal, the cruelty of the gods
shall no longer reign over us.
[weapon sizzles]
For the children,
may they never know the violence I've known.
[weapon sizzles]
For my brothers-in-arms who sacrificed their lives
in the name of power.
[weapon sizzles]
And for our brother, Colt,
a victim of greed and tyranny.
[weapon sizzles]
[♪ ominous music continues]
[Monkey whimpers]
Monkey, they killed my friends!
They sang a pretty little song, but it was bullshit.
Hey. You've been through a lot today. Let me help.
[Monkey grunts]
- [Monkey barking] - Hey, come on.
- Monkey! - I knew it.
Monkey's screwing this up!
Hey, hold on, dudes.
He would never consciously betray us.
[Monkey hooting]
When your friends warned you about our intentions,
I'm just curious, what word did they use?
Was it Armageddon?
Apocalypse? End of days?
You see, all those sound so negative,
whereas what we're doing, we're doing outta love.
The human race is infected with the cancer of violence,
and the only way to end the suffering is to pull the plug.
[Monkey growls]
Which is why we all prefer the term global euthanasia.
What? Why didn't you tell me?
Quiet, Dot, the adults are talking.
See, this is a beautiful thing, Monkey,
and really, it's all thanks to you.
A couple of months ago, we didn't think we'd be able
to defeat the last of The Aldermen, you know? [chuckles]
But then he showed up.
[Devil chuckling]
And he knew if we were gonna accomplish our goal,
we needed you on the team.
So I used my deal with your friend Bryce
to nudge you in the right direction.
My armies are depleted.
I need souls, and Boone and his friends
are perfectly willing to deliver them.
Look, I know the optics are bad, right?
But desperate times call for desperate measures.
And let's just say opportunities aligned.
This is what we call a symbiotic relationship.
Think of me as an angel investor.
[chuckles wickedly]
[Monkey hooting]
- [gunshots] - Really?
[laughing wickedly]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[Boone] I'm sorry it had to end this way,
but thank you for everything you've done.
For us. For this world.
May we finally be at peace.
Finally.
You're mine.
[whooshing]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[water lapping]
[♪ gentle music playing]
[water splashes]
Not exactly a 21-gun salute, you know?
It's very nice.
I-I'm not really good with these things.
Should we say something?
You want me to give the eulogy?
Alright, all cops are bastards except for Haruka. The end.
Nice. So I think this should come from you, you know?
You knew her best.
Yeah, alright, um...
Haruka...
Haruka was Japanese, and, uh, she was a cop.
And she was good...
but she sacrificed all that,
you know, her career, her reputation,
her country, to do the right thing.
I don't think I could've done what she did.
And yet through all my flaws, Haruka still somehow saw the good in me.
And I guess I'm just proud that someone
with such strong principles considered me a friend.
[♪ gentle music playing]
[gun clicks]
[gunshot]
[water gurgles]
[Bryce] She said she wanted to return to her fishing village.
Maybe she's back there now. I hope so.
[Lady Bullseye] I love attending my victims' funerals.
It's really the cherry on top of the whole murder sundae.
Weird, Monkey didn't show up for the funeral.
Maybe he was overrun with guilt.
You know, we've come a long way, Kiki.
How you gutted your friend?
I've really brought out your killer instinct.
I've always had a ruthless side. It was just buried deep.
But you've been a great mentor.
When I do something, I do it right.
I've given you skills, attitude, and ice in your veins.
Exactly, so remind me why I still need you?
Oh, excuse me?
Did I ever tell you that I competed on my high school swim team?
My breaststroke was crap,
but my dives were practically perfect.
What the hell are you talking about?
I appreciate everything you've done,
but I've got it from here.
Wait.
No. No. No!
[water splashes]
Ah. Ah!
[Lady Bullseye gasping, burbling]
[Lady Bullseye screaming]
[water splashes]
[panting]
[♪ eerie music playing]
[birds chirping]
I'm gonna go ahead and get the morning started with a drink.
Anyone else want anything?
- Cyanide? - A complete, full lobotomy?
I think I have some weed from, like, two years ago.
- Yeah, that's fine. - Alright.
- [♪ eerie music playing] - Hi.
- [Iris] Oh, my God! - Oh, Jesus!
Who the hell let in Satan's baby?
Alright, stand back.
I'm about to put a child-size hole through the wall here.
I mean you no harm. I've come seeking help.
If you think we helping any of you Manson family motherfuckers,
you are outta your mind.
The Co-Op will cast a shadow of death upon the world
if we do not stop them!
I'm sorry, shadow of death? What the hell is that?
Total destruction of all mankind.
Oh, okay.
Can we get that weed, Bryce?
Why should we trust you?
You've been singing their loony tune from the jump.
They kept me in the dark.
I didn't know the plan until this morning
when Boone told Monkey.
Cross my heart and hope to die! [crying]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's not your fault, kid.
Your friends are just a big old cornucopia of crazy.
I don't know, I find it hard to believe that Monkey would be cool
with the total annihilation of all mankind.
He tried to stop them!
But Slyke put him in the bad place.
Oh, man, this is messy.
You mean the part where Monkey got absorbed
into some freak's mind or the part where we learned
that all of humanity is about to be wiped off the face of the Earth?
Oh, and the Devil was there, too.
The what?!
[forge whirring]
[ray pulsing]
[liquid bubbling]
[whimpers]
You've been gone a long time, Dot.
Sorry, I went back to my room and took a nap.
Cut the shit. We know you went to Bryce's apartment.
You shouldn't have lied to me!
Dot, think before you do this.
- [Dot yells] - Look out!
[Dot grunting]
- [Amara thuds] - Oh!
Okay, that's it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[liquid bubbling]
[♪ mysterious music playing]
[tinkling]
[vocalizing]
Hi, Monkey.
One second. [retches]
Whew! Wasn't sure that was gonna work.
Not thrilled that my first possession was through a small child.
[grunts]
Hope I don't end up on a watch list or something, you know?
So this is Slyke's mind, huh?
Love what he's done with the place.
Who manages it, Jeffrey Dahmer?
I've been to the bad place before
as punishment for drinking Slyke's last energy drink.
- [Monkey grunts] - Why am I here?
Oh, because my daughter, my boss, and Ring-Around-the-Rosie here decided
we apparently need your help saving the world.
[Monkey barks]
Yes, I did a little freelance for the Devil.
Doesn't mean I want him to destroy mankind.
Hey, and you know what? From what I hear, you've been working for him, too.
So face it, we both got played.
- [shrieks] - Now, no, no.
The Devil was gonna get you to the Co-Op with or without me.
So don't go blaming this all on my deal.
Stop! We don't have time for this.
You know what? You're right.
I should be with Iris right now
instead of wasting what little time I have left
saving your ungrateful ass.
[Monkey barking]
Stop it!
If we're going to get out of here, we need to work together.
Oh, by the way, Haruka's funeral, it was lovely.
[♪ ominous music playing]
The only way out is through the fountain in the middle of the mall,
but we'll need to hurry.
The Hunter will be after us the minute we step out of here.
Uh, I'm sorry, the Hunter?
He Slyke's in-mind avatar.
Oh, great, as if one mind freak wasn't enough.
A bookstore?
Oh, man. God, you remember those?
What a waste of space.
[Monkey growls]
- [bell chimes] - Oh, no!
[Slyke] [over speakers] Dot, if I'd had known
you were bringing a guest, I would've cleaned up the place.
Oh, well, you're not gonna be here long.
[♪ dramatic music playing]
[car engine revving]
[tires screeching]
Oh, shit!
[car engine roaring]
[grunts]
- [tires screeching] - [car engine roaring]
[Bryce grunts]
[tires squeal]
- [Monkey barks] - Run!
[Dot grunts]
There's the fountain!
[grunts]
Come on!
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
Monkey? Bryce?
[Bryce] Monkey, you're up!
[Slyke] Attention shoppers,
the fountain will now be closing... permanently.
[♪ dramatic music playing]
[fountain clattering]
Goddamn. There goes our way home.
- [Slyke] I spy with my little eye. - [engine revving]
Hey, Monkey! We gotta move, buddy, like now!
[car engine roaring]
- Yeah, don't look back. Keep going! - [Monkey barking]
[tires screech]
[car engine roaring]
[gate clanks]
[Bryce grunts]
[tires squeal]
[♪ eerie music playing]
[Monkey shrieking]
Hey, dude, how about we stop taunting the sadist
and find a way outta here?
[Colt chuckling]
[♪ eerie music playing]
Oh, no!
[Double-Tap] Alright, alright...
let me ask you something.
What goes better with my tech vest,
the grenades or the extra mags?
Will you stop messing around and go watch over Slyke?
No, no, no, no, I can't stand over him
when he's in that weird trance.
It's creepy.
Eyes rolling in the back of his head.
Foaming at the mouth.
[Monkey hooting]
[hologram] I'm just psyched to be working with my broskis.
[Bryce] Holy shit, look at this place!
Brothers on three.
Let's do this, one, two, three!
[group] Brothers!
I don't know about you but I kinda figured all of Slyke's childhood memories
would be of him torturing animals.
Bro, his name is Weird Al,
and he's gonna change your life.
The Galaxy Boys are government agents? Hell yeah!
No, please, you don't have to do this.
I beg of you! We already surrendered!
- Die, you motherfuckers, all of you... - [soldiers screaming]
- Colt, what're you doing? No! - ...die!
Colt, they surrendered!
I don't know, I don't get it. And that leaves Colt.
I think it's safe to say you're the sensitive one.
I'm just psyched to be working with my broskis here,
puttin' smiles on people's faces.
- [group laughing] - Come on!
- Dude, can we please go? - [Monkey hooting]
You feel bad for them?
So they killed their brother, big deal. I killed my stepdad.
You killed Shinji, and the world's a better place for it.
[Monkey screeches]
Actually, your attitude towards killing
is what got us into this mess, not mine.
The Devil pounced on that soft little heart of yours,
- played you like a fiddle. - [Monkey growls]
[screeches]
Okay, yes, selling you out to the Devil
was sort of a dick move, but I'm sort of a dick.
And you know that! So get over it.
[grunts]
How can you ever trust me again?
You can trust me because I'm the one standing here
with you right now, the only one.
Whatever. I don't give a shit.
I just wanna get outta here and save the goddamned world, alright?
We owe it to Haruka.
[Monkey whimpers]
Yeah, man, I miss her, too.
Listen, the government isn't gonna stop until I'm dead.
So look, unless you plan on killing me, it's the only way.
I can't, I can't do it, Colt.
Please, you have to, Slyke.
It's for the greater good.
[tinkling]
[♪ eerie music playing]
Oh, snap, I guess they didn't kill that maniac.
[chuckles] They just put him in here.
- ...until I'm dead. - With us.
[Colt] Oy! I hope you guys are enjoying the show.
Hold on, just so I can get this straight.
You've been stuck in here all alone
in your brother's weird-ass brain for 25 years, yeah?
Yeah. [chuckles]
It's been a real party.
- Oh, shit. - [Monkey shrieking]
[cackling]
[fire whooshing]
Burn, baby, burn.
[Monkey shrieking]
Yeah, you dudes are fun,
much more than those old fogey Aldermen Slyke's been feeding me.
- Oh, this is a nightmare. - [fire whooshing]
This puka shell necklace is actually made from their teeth.
Just need a few more for the matching bracelet.
[cackling]
[fire roars]
Ah-ah-ah!
[steam hissing]
Come on, please.
Well, that doesn't seem fair.
Nothing here is fair. That's what makes it great.
[fire roaring]
- [Monkey barking] - Shit, shit, shit, shit.
This is gonna burn.
Nothing worse than the smell of singed hair. Here we go!
Ah, no, I was wrong.
The burning is so much worse than the smell.
[Bryce groaning]
Mm, now, that's the smell dreams are made of.
[♪ ominous music playing]
Oh, just a dark hallway. Great idea, Monkey.
[♪ eerie music playing]
Oh, snap. Not cool, man.
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
Oh, shit.
- [door clangs] - Boone?
Hey, everything alright, little brother?
Colt chased Monkey and Bryce into my subconscious.
- And? - And I'm kind of worried
about what he's gonna see in there.
Alright, look, none of it's gonna matter
in a couple of hours.
It can't end like that, Boone. I need to go in there!
Alright, do what you gotta do but hurry up.
I want you by my side to see this through.
[aircraft whirring]
[voices screaming and laughing]
Where the hell are we now?
[Teen Slyke] I didn't mean to kill him, Mommy. I'm sorry!
You know what? I'm gonna guess this is where Slyke hides his dark shit.
Dude's seen some stuff.
I wonder what my dark place looks like.
Probably the size of an IKEA, yeah?
- [whistles] - [♪ eerie music playing]
We're gonna have to play somewhere else, broskis.
Puberty hit Slyke like a ton of bricks,
and I ain't ready to relive that.
[fire roaring]
- Move! - [fire whooshes]
What the hell is this place?
[Teen Colt] Boone! Come on, man!
[Teen Boone] This is how it has to be.
I've never seen this.
Don't do this. I mean, think about it.
We, we, we, we can run. Yeah!
I mean, somewhere they'll, they'll never find us,
or better yet, we can fight.
You know how powerful we are together, right?
He's right, Boone. We could take 'em, I know we could.
This is how it has to be.
That is not how I remember it.
[Teen Colt] Boone, please. No, don't do this!
Come on, man. Boone?
- It's for the greater good. - It's for the greater good.
[tinkling]
They lied to me.
- [flamethrower clatters] - Psst, hey,
now would be a great time
for us to make like a tree and get the fuck outta here.
This was the last thing Boone and I ever wanted to do, Colt,
but our hand was forced.
You were reckless, unhinged!
My own brothers lied to me.
No, no, we were, we were just kids! They fucked us up.
They turned us into weapons to serve their bullshit agenda!
Yeah, the greater good, right?
No! There was no greater good, but there is now.
We're about to change the world, Colt, fix everything.
Come with me to the outside. I will show you.
[♪ eerie music playing]
One last show for The Galaxy Boys.
What do you say, brother? Come on.
Galaxy Boys.
You know, I've been here for 25 years
and this is the first time
you've ever set foot in this place.
Colt, you need to know that everything Boone and I are doing,
we're doing because of you, for you.
[Colt] Never in a million years
did I think it was gonna end like this.
- [Colt growls] - [fist thuds]
[Slyke thuds]
Come on, Colt. We don't have to do this.
- No! - [fist thudding]
[Slyke grunting]
Hey, as much as I'd love to watch this greasy dirtbag
get his brains beat in, that's our way out.
I love you, brother.
[tinkling]
[Colt grunts]
[building rumbling]
[debris clattering]
[Bryce] Hey, buddy, we gotta hustle.
[Monkey hooting]
Hurry up! The light's fading fast!
And I'm guessing once Slyke is dead, it's gonna be gone,
which means we're gonna be gone.
[car engine roaring]
[Monkey shrieks]
[debris clattering]
[tires squeal]
[car engine roaring]
[group] Brothers! Brothers!
[♪ action music playing]
Oh, no! [shouts]
Alright, Monkey, hold on tight. Or better yet, don't!
[Monkey screams]
[both shouting in slow-motion]
Ah!
Oh.
Can't believe brothers would turn on each other like that.
I guess people tend to do the shittiest things
to the ones they care about the most.
[Monkey grunts]
Brothers, but without all the murder and betrayal.
Now, enough of this sappy shit. We've still got a world to save.
[Monkey huffs]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
I gotta say, the worst part about the whole thing
was that the food court was closed.
I mean, how good does an Orange Julius sound right now?
[metal screeches]
[gate door clanks]
[Dot thuds]
The relic's gone. We're too late.
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[Boone] Come on, Slyke, where are you?
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[sighs] He's not coming.
I'm sorry, Boone.
We should get started.
[relic chiming]
♪♪
[♪ upbeat music playing]