1 00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:08,870 Hey. I got you-- 2 00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:10,044 Oh, thank you. 3 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,496 Hmm. 4 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,467 You're going to do great. 5 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,572 They're going to love you, 6 00:00:22,332 --> 00:00:24,127 and you're going to get what you need 7 00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:25,542 to bring back to the principal, 8 00:00:25,542 --> 00:00:28,442 and he's going to have to take you seriously. 9 00:00:28,442 --> 00:00:29,788 Yeah. 10 00:00:29,788 --> 00:00:31,721 I know. 11 00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:36,967 Is there something else? 12 00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:39,142 I think I'm worried about you. 13 00:00:39,142 --> 00:00:40,971 - Really? - Yeah. 14 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,631 You've been a bit more 15 00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:47,323 Hank-like than usual. 16 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:51,051 Have I? 17 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,191 Yeah. 18 00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:55,434 I don't know. 19 00:00:56,746 --> 00:00:57,919 I got it, I got it. 20 00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,093 Okay. 21 00:01:05,513 --> 00:01:06,687 Okay. Bye. 22 00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:08,068 Bye. 23 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,759 See you in a couple of days. 24 00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:16,248 I have this weird feeling you're going to end up in jail. 25 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,459 Or the hospital? 26 00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:06,850 You know how they figure out which one leads? 27 00:02:07,955 --> 00:02:09,129 I don't know. 28 00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:11,061 Seniority? 29 00:02:11,061 --> 00:02:12,235 Experience? 30 00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:13,823 It's hardest to lead 31 00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:15,790 because they get all the wind resistance. 32 00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:21,624 But one goose will always bear the burden. 33 00:02:21,624 --> 00:02:24,592 Each bird, as it flaps its wings, 34 00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:27,319 is creating lift for their fellow birds, 35 00:02:27,319 --> 00:02:29,356 except for the leader out front, 36 00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,254 always hardest on the leader. 37 00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:35,016 What if the leader leads them into a jet engine? 38 00:02:35,016 --> 00:02:36,811 That does happen. 39 00:02:36,811 --> 00:02:38,606 Often, people die, too, at least, 40 00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:39,883 so it's even. 41 00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:18,508 Mr. Devereaux? I apologize. 42 00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:19,716 He'll be ready in just a few more minutes. 43 00:03:19,716 --> 00:03:20,890 Oh, thank you. 44 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:25,757 Hank! 45 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,417 I'm President Dickie Pope. 46 00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:32,384 We've met four times. 47 00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:33,730 I remember. 48 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,905 I remember, too. 49 00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:37,355 Please sit down, 50 00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:38,528 if you want. 51 00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:40,565 I'm going to sit down. 52 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,605 So, are you hungry? 53 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:49,332 Would you like something to eat? 54 00:03:49,332 --> 00:03:51,507 Uh, I'll see the menu. 55 00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:54,268 Joke. Good. 56 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,994 Hank, keep that sense of humor. 57 00:03:55,994 --> 00:03:57,616 It's going to come in handy. 58 00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:59,100 Hank, you are the only department head 59 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,862 who has not submitted a list of faculty to cut. 60 00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:04,451 In that way, I'm outstanding. 61 00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:06,176 You are outstanding, Professor. 62 00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:07,592 You are an accomplished professor, 63 00:04:07,592 --> 00:04:10,077 and a very well-regarded novelist. 64 00:04:10,077 --> 00:04:11,906 I have your book... 65 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:17,912 It's not there. 66 00:04:17,912 --> 00:04:19,051 Yeah, that's been happening. 67 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,122 It's been disappearing from the shelves 68 00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:22,986 of private collections all around the country, 69 00:04:22,986 --> 00:04:25,575 only to reappear later in a field, 70 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:28,889 claiming an extraordinary experience. 71 00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:31,271 Why haven't you submitted a list? 72 00:04:32,444 --> 00:04:34,757 No one reason. 73 00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:36,966 - Please elaborate. - Can't. 74 00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:40,107 There's no reason that I can think of. 75 00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:43,248 Granted, I haven't given it a thought. 76 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:46,147 You are missing an opportunity. 77 00:04:46,147 --> 00:04:47,770 This would be the first time. 78 00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:50,220 As you are aware, it is virtually impossible 79 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,464 to fire a tenured professor for cause. 80 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:55,122 Yeah. - You are saddled with your department, 81 00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:57,573 the good and the bad. 82 00:04:57,573 --> 00:05:00,472 These budget cuts present an opportunity 83 00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,992 to remove the ones, and I'm sure you know who they are already, 84 00:05:02,992 --> 00:05:05,443 who shouldn't be here. 85 00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:10,102 You will reshape your department. 86 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,104 Everybody will be better off. 87 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,348 You will bring in new professors in the future, 88 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,764 ones you have chosen yourself. 89 00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:18,697 Yeah, but how could we afford that? 90 00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:20,147 Won't much of the money 91 00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:24,013 be going to this Technical Careers Complex? 92 00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,946 There seems to be a misunderstanding here. 93 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:28,189 The university is not spending a dime 94 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:29,467 on the Epstein Center. 95 00:05:29,467 --> 00:05:31,123 Epstein is. 96 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,539 It's a gift. 97 00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:35,645 He paid for the building, the staff, and maintenance 98 00:05:35,645 --> 00:05:37,682 for 10 years. 99 00:05:37,682 --> 00:05:41,168 He's coming to the groundbreaking tomorrow... 100 00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:43,101 I'll bet the tiny tree business 101 00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:45,068 is hard to break into. 102 00:05:45,068 --> 00:05:48,520 I mean, it's not worth building a machine to make 'em. 103 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,004 It's got to be by hand, 104 00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:51,316 or maybe they just, you know, 105 00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:53,318 cut down a tiny forest somewhere, 106 00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:58,944 completely ignoring what must be a sizeable crowd of Smurf protesters. 107 00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:00,360 Yeah. 108 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,223 Look, nothing about 109 00:06:02,223 --> 00:06:05,641 the Jeffrey Epstein Technical Careers Center 110 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:06,711 looks good. 111 00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:10,024 You're referring to the name. 112 00:06:10,024 --> 00:06:12,061 People are familiar with the many instances 113 00:06:12,061 --> 00:06:13,683 in which young women were attacked 114 00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:16,686 by a technical careers center. 115 00:06:16,686 --> 00:06:18,861 Different Jeffrey Epstein. 116 00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:21,898 This one made two billion on air fryers. 117 00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:23,728 We're adding a "Q". 118 00:06:23,728 --> 00:06:25,592 Queer fryers? 119 00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,766 It will be the Jeffrey Q. Epstein Center. 120 00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:30,320 What's his middle name? 121 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,598 He doesn't have one. 122 00:06:31,598 --> 00:06:33,082 He's not thrilled with the "Q". 123 00:06:35,256 --> 00:06:38,225 The legislature is cutting our budget by 23%. 124 00:06:38,225 --> 00:06:40,538 Please make a list so we are prepared. 125 00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:42,540 I've gotten this far without making a list. 126 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:45,232 If I were to start now, I'd feel like a quitter. 127 00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,406 No. 128 00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:51,756 Uh, look, Dickie, um, 129 00:06:52,377 --> 00:06:55,242 you're new around here. 130 00:06:55,242 --> 00:06:57,762 Every year, those geniuses in Harrisburg, 131 00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:59,004 they threaten cuts, 132 00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:01,248 and every year, they don't, 133 00:07:01,248 --> 00:07:03,112 because, as we've established, 134 00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:04,907 they don't like not looking good. 135 00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,598 This year is different. 136 00:07:06,598 --> 00:07:09,083 Because of how time works? 137 00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:11,948 They likely will give us what we ask for, 138 00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:13,812 but I'm not asking for it. 139 00:07:13,812 --> 00:07:15,952 All my predecessors 140 00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:19,231 have begged year after year for more money. 141 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,786 I'm not going to do that. 142 00:07:21,786 --> 00:07:23,891 I'm lobbying for less money. 143 00:07:23,891 --> 00:07:25,065 The school's too fat. 144 00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,495 Shut the door, please. 145 00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:47,501 I talked to Dickie Pope. 146 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,089 What? When? 147 00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:50,262 Earlier today. 148 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,264 He called me into his office. He wanted to talk to me. 149 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:54,991 To talk about the cuts? 150 00:07:54,991 --> 00:07:56,510 And you went? 151 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,684 Did you give him a list? 152 00:07:57,684 --> 00:07:59,582 Do you think I would make a list? 153 00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:01,308 Tell me you didn't give him a list. 154 00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:03,137 If I told you I didn't give him a list, 155 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,484 would you believe me? 156 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,588 No. 157 00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,210 Then I'm not telling you. 158 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:10,420 You went to see Dickie Pope without talking to us first? 159 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:12,043 It wouldn't have made a difference, Paul. 160 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,252 Wouldn't have made a difference? 161 00:08:14,252 --> 00:08:16,634 Screw you! 162 00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,290 We could have had a strategy session, 163 00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,533 brought Leslie in. 164 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,019 Whew! I missed out on a strategy session with Leslie. 165 00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:24,642 You see us out there, right? 166 00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:27,472 You see that we think we can have a voice in this, 167 00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:29,647 that we need to. 168 00:08:29,647 --> 00:08:31,718 You're the one without a voice. 169 00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:36,516 You just decided it doesn't matter what we think. 170 00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:40,071 You see, that's the exact reason 171 00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:42,314 collective action fails... 172 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,698 ...because when you undermine the union, you're undermining all of us! 173 00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:50,391 ♪ What am I gonna do? ♪ 174 00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:54,395 ♪ No matter what I do ♪ 175 00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:58,572 ♪ But I've done everything I can... ♪ 176 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,065 Lily! 177 00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:44,618 Tom. 178 00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:47,725 Hi! 179 00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,105 Are you kidding me? 180 00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:51,004 - Who are you? - Well, hi. 181 00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:55,111 - Great to see you. - You too. 182 00:09:56,941 --> 00:09:58,183 So the students don't have any textbooks? 183 00:09:58,183 --> 00:09:59,495 No, it's all digital. 184 00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:02,084 They have access to whatever they need on them at any time. 185 00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:04,880 It means more personal connections between students, 186 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,607 and between teachers and students. 187 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,643 Dina! Way to crush it at the regionals. 188 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,782 Excellent work. 189 00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:12,025 Regional physics challenge. 190 00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:14,993 She is amazing. 191 00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:16,616 The kids look too happy. 192 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,824 Yeah, I know, it takes some getting used to, 193 00:10:17,824 --> 00:10:19,757 but trust me, this is not all for show. 194 00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:20,965 Every choice we make 195 00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:24,278 has been backed by lots of research. 196 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:25,970 What? 197 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,109 No, I'm just... 198 00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:28,800 I'm just trying to square this new Tom 199 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,630 with the one who, um, quit his job 200 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,149 - by telling his boss to get cancer. - Ah. 201 00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:34,634 That was a long time ago. 202 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,118 Plus, I heard he actually did die of cancer... 203 00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,292 - Oh! - ...so I have to be very careful with my power. 204 00:10:38,292 --> 00:10:40,640 No... 205 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,781 This administration is crazy supportive, they're open-minded. 206 00:10:43,781 --> 00:10:45,955 You're going to be walking into a very smoothly-run ecosystem-- 207 00:10:45,955 --> 00:10:47,474 If... If I get this job. 208 00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:48,682 Sure, "if", "if". 209 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,097 I mean, no pressure, 210 00:10:50,097 --> 00:10:51,478 but you'd better nail this interview. 211 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:53,273 Do you have any idea how many hand jobs I had to give 212 00:10:53,273 --> 00:10:54,343 to get you this meeting? 213 00:10:54,343 --> 00:10:56,034 - Three. - Eight. 214 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,484 They were all on myself, to set the mood, 215 00:10:57,484 --> 00:10:59,382 but still, I am exhausted. 216 00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:02,454 I should take a video of myself right here 217 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,008 and send it to my principal. 218 00:11:04,008 --> 00:11:05,526 Guy would crap his pants. 219 00:11:05,526 --> 00:11:06,666 Yeah? 220 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,150 You ready to burn that bridge? 221 00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:11,049 Oh, I'm ready for him to give me everything I want. 222 00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:12,706 What do you mean? What do you want? 223 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,019 Well, it's just, you know, if I stayed in Railton, 224 00:11:15,019 --> 00:11:17,366 this interview could give me some leverage. 225 00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,057 Leverage? 226 00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:21,059 Well, don't you want this job? 227 00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:22,371 Oh, well, yeah. 228 00:11:22,371 --> 00:11:25,063 I mean, yeah, but, um... 229 00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:26,824 I mean, if I'm honest, 230 00:11:26,824 --> 00:11:28,722 a move would be really hard for me right now. 231 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,001 Well, oh, my God. 232 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:33,347 Oh, my God. 233 00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:34,659 - Lily! - I'm sorry, Tom. 234 00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:35,902 I didn't think-- 235 00:11:35,902 --> 00:11:37,455 If I had I seen you here and how much you obviously care, 236 00:11:37,455 --> 00:11:38,525 then I wouldn't have-- 237 00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:40,423 Do you want me to go? 238 00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:42,632 You could say that I got sick or died, 239 00:11:42,632 --> 00:11:44,634 or got 240 00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,533 kidnapped by big city rats. 241 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:47,810 You can't bail now! 242 00:11:47,810 --> 00:11:49,398 If you do, I'll look like an idiot. 243 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,746 Just go in there and be great. 244 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,058 Well, no, no, don't be great. 245 00:11:54,058 --> 00:11:57,199 Just be... medium great. 246 00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:59,304 Can you be medium? 247 00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:00,512 Okay. 248 00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:07,036 I know that you care about those professors, 249 00:12:07,036 --> 00:12:09,211 despite the fact that you would never admit that, 250 00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:11,213 but you complain about these people all the time, 251 00:12:11,213 --> 00:12:12,386 about their incompetence, 252 00:12:12,386 --> 00:12:14,526 and in the end, 253 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,012 don't you have to think about the students? 254 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,358 That's not the point. 255 00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,914 Oh, I'm having a hard time figuring out what the point is lately. 256 00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:26,090 I have this weird feeling you're going to end up in jail. 257 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,195 Or the hospital? 258 00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,265 In the hospital? 259 00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:31,198 Or jail. 260 00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:32,682 I think they're very different places. 261 00:12:32,682 --> 00:12:35,133 Yeah, so, what's the common thread? 262 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,756 I don't know, uh... 263 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,964 Trouble? 264 00:12:37,964 --> 00:12:39,793 Loss of control? 265 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,899 Yeah, that's not insight. 266 00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:43,210 All right. 267 00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:44,625 Let me think. You punch. 268 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,627 All right, let's draw on philosophy. 269 00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:47,974 Let's articulate the question. 270 00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:50,424 Yeah. Why is Lily upset with me? 271 00:12:50,424 --> 00:12:52,047 Well, I can't solve that with philosophy. 272 00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,531 Here's something we can tackle, 273 00:12:53,531 --> 00:12:54,808 what's a good and moral way 274 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:57,466 for you to handle your current work crisis? 275 00:12:57,466 --> 00:12:58,847 How should you act? 276 00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:01,815 - Do nothing. - No, you act according to your desire, 277 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,783 unless you're a Buddhist, then you should desire nothing. 278 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,301 That eliminates suffering. 279 00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:07,925 See, that's my problem with Buddhism. 280 00:13:08,649 --> 00:13:10,065 Suffering, 281 00:13:10,065 --> 00:13:12,101 that's my sweet spot, right? 282 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:14,345 At least I know I'm alive, I'm feeling something. 283 00:13:15,242 --> 00:13:16,830 Huh. 284 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,798 Maybe Lily wants you to feel something more than suffering. 285 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,317 - Why would she want that? - I don't know, you tell me. 286 00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:22,836 One word per punch. Let it out. 287 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,941 Because! 288 00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:25,045 It's! 289 00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,840 Boring! 290 00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,119 Because 291 00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:31,914 she's bored with me. 292 00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:37,402 Finny. 293 00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:39,888 Chopping block. 294 00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:42,683 He teaches the fewest students to the lowest result. 295 00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:44,651 High attrition rate, too. 296 00:13:44,651 --> 00:13:46,653 - Gracie. - Chopping block. 297 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:48,586 She's a headache. 298 00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:50,312 Constantly filing grievances. 299 00:13:50,312 --> 00:13:52,693 Granted, she's correct, but still. 300 00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:55,110 Emma? 301 00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,112 What she does isn't even English. 302 00:13:57,112 --> 00:13:58,251 Chopping block. 303 00:13:58,251 --> 00:13:59,666 Rourke. 304 00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:02,807 High self-regard, no good reason. 305 00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,395 Chopping block. 306 00:14:04,395 --> 00:14:06,776 The couple, what are their names? 307 00:14:06,776 --> 00:14:09,296 Their names are "chopping" and "block". 308 00:14:09,296 --> 00:14:11,712 Henry Devereaux Jr.? 309 00:14:11,712 --> 00:14:12,886 Chopping block. 310 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,681 Top of the list. 311 00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:16,786 Is everyone on the list? 312 00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:18,581 You forgot about Billie. 313 00:14:18,581 --> 00:14:21,239 - Okay, Billie Quigley-- - Chopping block. 314 00:14:22,585 --> 00:14:23,897 I know this is rushed, 315 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,175 but today's groundbreaking of the Epstein Center 316 00:14:26,175 --> 00:14:28,074 is giving us a great opportunity. 317 00:14:28,074 --> 00:14:31,560 Now, the key thing to any organized protest 318 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,219 is that we're unified in purpose and action. 319 00:14:35,219 --> 00:14:36,910 And what is our purpose exactly? 320 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,567 What are our central aims 321 00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:39,948 if we had to itemize them? 322 00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:42,709 Yeah, it's just important that we get our message out, right? 323 00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:44,193 It's not about hogging the spotlight. 324 00:14:44,193 --> 00:14:47,058 It kind of is about hogging the spotlight. 325 00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:48,404 To get on the news 326 00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:51,545 and tell Harrisburg that we mean business, 327 00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:53,720 that we won't tolerate cutting jobs. 328 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,343 Right, but Dickie Pope doesn't need to know 329 00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:57,827 exactly who we are, right? 330 00:14:57,827 --> 00:14:59,864 I heard he's a vindictive man. 331 00:14:59,864 --> 00:15:01,245 Would you two stop it? 332 00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:02,556 Paul's right. 333 00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:04,834 We need to stay focused on jobs. 334 00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:06,940 There will be press there. 335 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,770 Our message, we hope, will reach Harrisburg. 336 00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:11,565 So you want us all standing outside in the cold? 337 00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,464 It's 70 degrees, Billie. 338 00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:16,260 I've been to most of the departments now, and, honestly, 339 00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:18,365 a lot of them are looking to you, 340 00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:19,539 the English department. 341 00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:20,609 Oh. 342 00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:21,782 Because of our leadership? 343 00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:25,959 Well, their feeling is, if you can unite, 344 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,202 everyone can. 345 00:15:27,202 --> 00:15:29,652 - What's that supposed to mean? - You know what it means. 346 00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:31,102 We file more grievances against each other 347 00:15:31,102 --> 00:15:32,586 than any other department. 348 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:35,555 I mean, I've never filed one against anyone. 349 00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:36,728 Love you guys. 350 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,316 If the rest of the faculty believes 351 00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,318 that we'll submit to being the butt of their jokes, 352 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:42,942 then please tell them to enjoy the protest without us. 353 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,598 Easy, Finny. Jesus. 354 00:15:47,808 --> 00:15:48,809 Does everybody worry 355 00:15:48,809 --> 00:15:50,604 that they're boring? 356 00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:53,159 I've been so focused on all the boring people around me, 357 00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:54,574 I forgot to check myself. 358 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:55,816 Okay, let's see. 359 00:15:55,816 --> 00:15:58,095 Do I have any new thoughts? 360 00:15:58,474 --> 00:16:00,131 Uh-oh. 361 00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,788 Hi there! You've got Lily's phone. 362 00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:03,169 Leave me a message. Bye! 363 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:05,447 Hey, babe. 364 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:08,760 I know you're working right now. 365 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,831 I was thinking about that conversation we had 366 00:16:10,831 --> 00:16:13,834 just before you left, and... 367 00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:17,424 You know what, call me when you have time. 368 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,116 Bye. 369 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,955 Are we really getting a glimpse of Jeffrey Epstein? 370 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,993 Now, what kind of font is this? 371 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,995 Helvetica sans testicles? 372 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,893 Let's go say hi. 373 00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:42,035 Let's work out the exact mechanics of the protest. 374 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:44,003 I think the smartest way to handle this 375 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,213 is to let the ceremony play out in full, 376 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,525 and then we strike for maximum impact. 377 00:16:49,525 --> 00:16:50,699 She wants to read her poem. 378 00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:52,563 What poem? 379 00:16:52,563 --> 00:16:54,289 "What poem?" Which poem. 380 00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:57,775 The one I was asked to write and recite, 381 00:16:57,775 --> 00:16:59,501 titled "Groundbreaking". 382 00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:02,055 You can't read your stupid poem anymore. 383 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,230 It will look like you're on their side. 384 00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:06,025 That you would even mention sides 385 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,336 suggests you are not familiar with my work. 386 00:17:07,336 --> 00:17:08,855 My poetry is for everybody. 387 00:17:08,855 --> 00:17:10,029 It joins us. 388 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,824 It is, perhaps, our best shot 389 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,344 at resolving this conflict amicably. 390 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:16,345 - Professor-- - Scab. 391 00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,727 Not true. 392 00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:20,142 - It's not true. - Scab. 393 00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:23,939 No one supports the union more than I, 394 00:17:23,939 --> 00:17:25,906 but long before these cuts were even on the table, 395 00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:29,703 I composed this poem at the request of Dean Rose. 396 00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:31,671 I wrote it, I'm proud of it, 397 00:17:31,671 --> 00:17:33,052 and the poem deserves to be heard. 398 00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:35,261 Okay, look. 399 00:17:35,261 --> 00:17:37,504 The important part, that will get on the news, 400 00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:39,196 is the shovels breaking the ground. 401 00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:40,852 That happens at the end, 402 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:44,166 so we could wait to have the poem read before we chant. 403 00:17:44,166 --> 00:17:45,271 Oh, I'm not chanting. 404 00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:46,927 Thank you. That's gracious. 405 00:17:47,963 --> 00:17:51,242 I do think the press may pick up the poem 406 00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:53,175 once they hear it. 407 00:17:57,214 --> 00:18:00,044 Will there be gargoyles on the side of building? 408 00:18:00,044 --> 00:18:01,287 I love gargoyles. 409 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,460 You want gargoyles, babe? 410 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,635 I'll get you gargoyles. 411 00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:07,879 I am so thankful for Jeffrey Queequeg Epstein. 412 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,881 Oh, no, I believe it's Jeffrey Quidditch Epstein. 413 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,469 - Is it? - Yeah. Quidditch. 414 00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:13,195 It's neither, actually. What? 415 00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,196 There is no "Q". 416 00:18:14,748 --> 00:18:16,095 Yeah, there is. 417 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,062 It's right there on the sign, 418 00:18:18,062 --> 00:18:19,788 - between the "Jeffrey" and the-- - Fellas, 419 00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:21,065 I'm Jeffrey Epstein. 420 00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:23,792 - You're "the" Jeffrey Epstein? - The one and only. 421 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,483 I donated this building. 422 00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:27,761 - Oh, that's very generous of you. - Thank you so much. 423 00:18:27,761 --> 00:18:29,038 Now, this "Q" thing? 424 00:18:29,038 --> 00:18:30,316 It's a crazy story. 425 00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,421 - Forget about the "Q"-- - I'm going to the car. 426 00:18:32,421 --> 00:18:33,767 - Okay, baby. - So what happened? 427 00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:35,804 Did they misspell your name? Because I get that all the time. 428 00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:38,462 No, this "Q" thing, it's a non-issue. 429 00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:41,568 If my parents had just given me a middle name, but they didn't. 430 00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:43,915 All my parents gave me was brains, 431 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,711 and an insatiable lust for knowledge 432 00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:49,093 about food technology. 433 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:51,647 I don't know if you heard, they changed the tax laws this year. 434 00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:54,685 I had to find a $50 million write-off out of nowhere. 435 00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:56,480 - Been there, yeah. - Mmm-hmm. 436 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,757 I'm thinking, let's keep it simple, 437 00:18:57,757 --> 00:18:59,483 maybe I'll buy a hockey team or something. 438 00:18:59,483 --> 00:19:01,968 So I'm keeping my eyes on the worst team in the league, 439 00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:03,176 because that's how you find a deal, right? 440 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,936 And then, you're not going to believe this-- 441 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,007 - They have a winning season. - They have a winning season! 442 00:19:07,007 --> 00:19:08,216 - Yeah. - A winning season. 443 00:19:08,216 --> 00:19:10,459 - Yeah, we're hockey fans. - And back it up a little bit. 444 00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,358 I actually have a lot of trouble finding engineers 445 00:19:12,358 --> 00:19:14,808 to support my air-fryer business. 446 00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,016 It's complicated. 447 00:19:16,016 --> 00:19:18,640 Fast forward again, I realize what I'll do, 448 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,297 drop the $50 million, 449 00:19:20,297 --> 00:19:23,300 build the Technical Careers Center right on this campus, 450 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,611 which is pretty much in my backyard. 451 00:19:24,611 --> 00:19:26,924 I mean, you can almost smell my factory from here. 452 00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:28,167 It smells like chicken. 453 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,720 Used to. That's our test kitchen. 454 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,825 We switched to rabbit recently. 455 00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:34,380 Anyway, point being, I got everything I want. 456 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,554 I'm going to get specifically-trained engineers who can come work for me. 457 00:19:36,554 --> 00:19:39,143 I got my tax write-off. I'm sleeping like a champion baby. 458 00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:40,351 It's awesome. 459 00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,008 And then, 460 00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:45,322 of course, that jerkface with my name, 461 00:19:45,322 --> 00:19:46,909 the other Jeffrey Epstein, 462 00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:49,084 he starts all that horrible stuff with girls, 463 00:19:49,084 --> 00:19:51,190 and while all that's going down, Dickie Pope calls me, 464 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,537 and he goes, "Look, in light of everything, 465 00:19:53,537 --> 00:19:55,884 we've got to add a "Q". 466 00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:58,127 Now, this has to stay between us, okay? 467 00:19:58,127 --> 00:19:59,612 Okay. 468 00:19:59,612 --> 00:20:03,754 I'm like, "You want a "Q", best I can do, $40 million," and he caves. 469 00:20:03,754 --> 00:20:06,412 He caves right away. He's like, "Yeah, okay, yeah, sure, whatever." 470 00:20:06,412 --> 00:20:08,207 So this building cost 40 mil? 471 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,967 No, that's the best part. 472 00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:11,658 That's a $50-million building. 473 00:20:11,658 --> 00:20:15,075 Dickie just pulled $10 million from, wherever, I don't know. 474 00:20:15,075 --> 00:20:17,008 What I do know, I got everything I wanted, 475 00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,596 my write-off, my engineers. 476 00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:20,046 Then I had this extra $10 mil to play with. 477 00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:21,392 I go, "Now I can look good--" 478 00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:25,258 So Dickie Pope just pulls $10 mil from wherever. 479 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,811 Is it possible he found another donor? 480 00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:28,088 You know that's not true. 481 00:20:28,088 --> 00:20:31,230 All right, excuse me, I'm sorry. 482 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,921 So, I'm in the market for an air fryer. 483 00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:34,302 They're all the same, right? 484 00:20:34,302 --> 00:20:37,512 Absolutely not. Generally, generally... 485 00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:41,378 Hi there! You've got Lily's phone, 486 00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:43,276 leave me a message. Bye! 487 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,417 Honey, I know I said you should call me, 488 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:49,524 but I just heard something that's making-- 489 00:20:49,524 --> 00:20:52,043 I was hoping you could talk me down. 490 00:20:53,907 --> 00:20:55,081 You know what? 491 00:20:55,081 --> 00:20:56,945 I will be fine. 492 00:20:56,945 --> 00:20:59,258 Okay, call me when you can. 493 00:21:09,337 --> 00:21:12,063 I thought we agreed you weren't going to pour it on. 494 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,133 I can't turn it off. 495 00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:14,583 No, you can't. 496 00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:18,449 - Thank you, Tom. - Oh. 497 00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:19,657 Do you have to hurry back? 498 00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:20,831 You just got here. 499 00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:24,731 Yeah, but I left some stuff in Pennsylvania. 500 00:21:24,731 --> 00:21:27,872 Well, look, I'm seeing Ashley later tonight for drinks. 501 00:21:27,872 --> 00:21:30,427 Ashley! 502 00:21:30,427 --> 00:21:33,257 I didn't realize she was back in town. 503 00:21:34,431 --> 00:21:35,846 Is Jenny going to be there? 504 00:21:35,846 --> 00:21:37,641 I haven't seen your wife in ages. 505 00:21:37,641 --> 00:21:38,849 No, it'll just be the three of us. 506 00:21:38,849 --> 00:21:40,437 I'm getting the band back together. 507 00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,301 Stay. 508 00:21:44,579 --> 00:21:45,614 Yeah. 509 00:21:46,753 --> 00:21:48,065 Yeah. 510 00:21:48,065 --> 00:21:50,343 That sounds really good. 511 00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:52,483 Okay. 512 00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:54,140 You have the phone. 513 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,624 Okay, all right, 514 00:21:55,624 --> 00:21:57,488 and on... 515 00:21:57,488 --> 00:21:59,663 Three... Okay, we're good. 516 00:21:59,663 --> 00:22:02,010 On three, two... 517 00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:03,701 I'm standing on the future site 518 00:22:03,701 --> 00:22:05,979 of the new multi-million-dollar technology center 519 00:22:05,979 --> 00:22:08,361 here on the campus of-- 520 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,501 Bird-Shit State... Just cut. Cut, cut, cut, cut. 521 00:22:10,501 --> 00:22:11,606 Can you get this? 522 00:22:11,606 --> 00:22:14,160 I've seen her on the evening news. 523 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,886 Masturbated to her. 524 00:22:15,886 --> 00:22:17,612 I wonder if I can turn a fantasy 525 00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:19,924 into real-world fornication? 526 00:22:19,924 --> 00:22:21,374 I'd wish you luck, but... 527 00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:23,134 - Thank you. - ...I feel awful. 528 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,653 All right, so, guys, it's just too noisy. 529 00:22:24,653 --> 00:22:26,172 We gotta lose the ducks. Can we lose the ducks? 530 00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:28,208 - Somebody-- - Geese. 531 00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:29,762 Ducks are the small ones. 532 00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:32,868 Okay, well, can somebody just escort the little bastards back to the lake? 533 00:22:32,868 --> 00:22:34,870 Pond. Lakes are the big ones. 534 00:22:36,216 --> 00:22:38,529 Well... 535 00:22:38,529 --> 00:22:42,119 We're here on the campus of Podunk College speaking with an authority 536 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,879 on every damn thing under the sun... 537 00:22:45,329 --> 00:22:47,158 ...apparently. 538 00:22:54,545 --> 00:22:56,064 Back off. 539 00:22:57,652 --> 00:22:59,239 Did you... Did you get it all? 540 00:22:59,239 --> 00:23:01,552 Well, I said I would, and I will. 541 00:23:02,622 --> 00:23:04,831 I'm a little bit nervous. 542 00:23:06,488 --> 00:23:08,663 - You're going to crush it. - Okay. 543 00:23:08,663 --> 00:23:10,872 "We dipped our palms..." 544 00:23:10,872 --> 00:23:12,321 How will we know? 545 00:23:12,321 --> 00:23:14,841 Is Gracie going to cue us? Is there a particular word she'll utter, 546 00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:17,188 and then we cue the trumpets and sally forth? 547 00:23:18,604 --> 00:23:19,881 No, no one's sallying. 548 00:23:24,610 --> 00:23:26,715 Professors should not hold signs. 549 00:23:26,715 --> 00:23:28,372 They should know better. 550 00:23:28,372 --> 00:23:31,099 I mean, what's the ratio of signs to change? 551 00:23:31,099 --> 00:23:33,170 We're taking billions of signs over time, 552 00:23:33,170 --> 00:23:34,965 and maybe one, once, 553 00:23:34,965 --> 00:23:36,898 convinced someone to change their mind? 554 00:23:36,898 --> 00:23:40,626 The only sign I like is "Men Working in Trees", 555 00:23:40,626 --> 00:23:42,524 because then I know to look up, 556 00:23:42,524 --> 00:23:44,284 see the guy in the tree. 557 00:23:44,284 --> 00:23:46,045 Okay, guys, just... 558 00:23:46,045 --> 00:23:49,635 Just make sure you make a big enough scene so that the cameras point to us. 559 00:23:49,635 --> 00:23:51,913 If we're not on the news, then we weren't here. 560 00:23:52,741 --> 00:23:55,537 - Dude... - Hmm? 561 00:23:55,537 --> 00:23:56,780 You spelled "Humanities" wrong. 562 00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:58,885 What? 563 00:23:58,885 --> 00:24:01,957 - I-I was thinking of the Latin. - You were not. 564 00:24:09,275 --> 00:24:10,621 Back off! 565 00:24:10,621 --> 00:24:13,106 Shoo! 566 00:24:13,106 --> 00:24:15,384 You want to do this? Huh? 567 00:24:15,384 --> 00:24:17,076 You want to do this? 568 00:24:17,076 --> 00:24:20,010 Yeah, you picked the wrong day. 569 00:24:20,010 --> 00:24:21,770 I've got all afternoon. 570 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,948 That man is chair of the English department. 571 00:24:26,948 --> 00:24:29,088 Back off, Goosey! 572 00:24:29,088 --> 00:24:30,641 Come on, you want a piece of this? 573 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,127 - I'm gonna kick him in the neck! - Go film duck guy, go. 574 00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:36,992 What's he doing? 575 00:24:36,992 --> 00:24:38,304 Come on, take your shot! 576 00:24:38,304 --> 00:24:40,513 He's mocking us is what he's doing. 577 00:24:43,171 --> 00:24:44,862 Take some stills. Get in there. 578 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,698 In this corner, 579 00:24:52,698 --> 00:24:54,803 William Henry Devereaux 580 00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:56,460 of the English department, 581 00:24:56,460 --> 00:24:58,013 Railton College, 582 00:24:58,013 --> 00:25:00,464 and opposite me, a goose! 583 00:25:04,157 --> 00:25:06,297 We are here at a groundbreaking 584 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,816 for a building that is being paid for 585 00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,818 by cutting faculty! 586 00:25:09,818 --> 00:25:12,303 I heard that directly from the mouth 587 00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:15,652 of the reliable, honorable, other Jeffrey Epstein. 588 00:25:15,652 --> 00:25:17,550 No! No, I say! 589 00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:19,000 It will not stand! 590 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,484 I will box 591 00:25:20,484 --> 00:25:22,003 one of Railton's beloved geese! 592 00:25:22,003 --> 00:25:24,833 I will box a goose a day 593 00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:27,215 until I get my budget fully funded! 594 00:25:28,043 --> 00:25:29,666 I'll punch him in the upper neck 595 00:25:29,666 --> 00:25:31,702 and I'll punch him in the lower neck! 596 00:25:31,702 --> 00:25:34,671 The goose is mostly neck. 597 00:25:34,671 --> 00:25:36,569 That idiot. Okay! 598 00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:38,122 I will box him, and... - Over here, please! 599 00:25:38,122 --> 00:25:39,503 Over here, please! 600 00:25:39,503 --> 00:25:41,401 No cutting jobs! 601 00:25:41,401 --> 00:25:44,025 No cutting jobs! No cutting jobs! 602 00:25:44,025 --> 00:25:45,854 Ladies and gentlemen, 603 00:25:45,854 --> 00:25:47,649 I'd like to... 604 00:25:47,649 --> 00:25:48,754 No cutting jobs! 605 00:25:48,754 --> 00:25:50,169 Here, buddy. 606 00:25:50,169 --> 00:25:51,411 Let's get out of here. 607 00:25:51,411 --> 00:25:52,654 - All right. - Come on, come on, come on. 608 00:25:52,654 --> 00:25:54,932 I'd like to start tonight's ceremony with a poem 609 00:25:54,932 --> 00:25:57,107 by our very own Gracie Dubois! 610 00:25:57,107 --> 00:26:00,179 No cutting jobs! No cutting jobs! 611 00:26:00,179 --> 00:26:02,768 - No cutting jobs! - Gracie Dubois, everyone. 612 00:26:02,768 --> 00:26:04,217 No cutting jobs! 613 00:26:04,217 --> 00:26:07,393 - Grace! - No cutting jobs! No... 614 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:14,676 You're going to love this place. 615 00:26:14,676 --> 00:26:17,334 - She should be here. - I told her to meet us at 5:00. 616 00:26:17,334 --> 00:26:19,439 - Lily! - Whoo-hoo! 617 00:26:19,439 --> 00:26:21,510 Aw, yeah! 618 00:26:21,510 --> 00:26:23,443 Oh, my God, it's so good to see you. 619 00:26:23,443 --> 00:26:24,755 Oh, buddy. 620 00:26:24,755 --> 00:26:26,792 So? How'd it go? Did you get the gig? 621 00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:28,069 They loved her. 622 00:26:28,069 --> 00:26:29,415 Let's go look for apartments right now. 623 00:26:29,415 --> 00:26:30,899 Oh, that sounds so fun. 624 00:26:30,899 --> 00:26:33,212 It does sound fun. Not going to happen. We were hoodwinked. 625 00:26:33,212 --> 00:26:34,696 The whole interview was a con. 626 00:26:34,696 --> 00:26:36,525 She leveraged us, Ash. 627 00:26:36,525 --> 00:26:38,079 Leverage for what? 628 00:26:38,079 --> 00:26:39,874 Her cutthroat public school job. 629 00:26:41,289 --> 00:26:43,809 You scammer! So you just flash your tits at the old flame, 630 00:26:43,809 --> 00:26:45,120 and he comes running. 631 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,260 - I did not flash my tits. - I did not run. 632 00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:48,814 - You two never change. - It was just... 633 00:26:48,814 --> 00:26:51,161 You know, it was just business. 634 00:26:51,161 --> 00:26:52,438 - Yeah. - I do feel bad, though. 635 00:26:52,438 --> 00:26:53,957 Well, you shouldn't. 636 00:26:53,957 --> 00:26:55,475 Uh, since we seem to be truth-telling, 637 00:26:55,475 --> 00:26:56,580 I haven't had a drink yet, 638 00:26:56,580 --> 00:26:59,756 but, um, the job wasn't, uh, 639 00:26:59,756 --> 00:27:02,379 how shall we say, really available. 640 00:27:02,379 --> 00:27:03,760 What do you mean? 641 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,071 Well, you didn't hear this from me, 642 00:27:05,071 --> 00:27:06,555 and I didn't want to bum you out, 643 00:27:06,555 --> 00:27:07,902 but there was this huge meeting last week 644 00:27:07,902 --> 00:27:09,731 about how they wanted to re-commit to diversity hiring, 645 00:27:09,731 --> 00:27:10,974 and, so... 646 00:27:10,974 --> 00:27:13,597 - Oh. - Yeah. 647 00:27:13,597 --> 00:27:15,668 Okay. Yeah, I get that. 648 00:27:15,668 --> 00:27:18,015 I really thought we were going to have her back in New York, 649 00:27:18,015 --> 00:27:20,500 but, well, that's our Lily, 650 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,674 always playing us. 651 00:27:21,674 --> 00:27:23,918 What? That's not me, I don't play people. 652 00:27:23,918 --> 00:27:26,403 Oh, shut up and get me a drink. 653 00:27:26,403 --> 00:27:27,956 Yes. Uh, drinks! 654 00:27:27,956 --> 00:27:29,717 Are you thinking of getting some food, gentlemen? 655 00:27:29,717 --> 00:27:32,512 - The drink of the day is a Mikhail Gorbachev. - What's that? 656 00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:35,343 It's a Moscow Mule, served in a Glasnost. 657 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:39,554 Uh, I'll leave you guys to it. 658 00:27:41,073 --> 00:27:42,143 They changed the menu, 659 00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,524 without warning. 660 00:27:44,524 --> 00:27:47,838 I didn't come this restaurant. I came to the one that has the shrimp I like. 661 00:27:47,838 --> 00:27:49,288 Bait and switch. 662 00:27:49,288 --> 00:27:50,703 I'm ordering off the old menu. 663 00:27:50,703 --> 00:27:52,636 From memory? 664 00:27:52,636 --> 00:27:54,845 I believe death will come quickly for me. 665 00:27:54,845 --> 00:27:56,709 Uh, change of subject? 666 00:27:56,709 --> 00:27:59,539 Not because I want it to, but because 667 00:27:59,539 --> 00:28:01,162 most of the deepest experiences of my life 668 00:28:01,162 --> 00:28:03,026 have been unexpected. 669 00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:05,373 The important thing is we must prepare to transcend. 670 00:28:05,373 --> 00:28:06,823 Did something happen? 671 00:28:06,823 --> 00:28:08,203 My ex got remarried. 672 00:28:08,203 --> 00:28:09,895 - That was years ago. - The other one. 673 00:28:09,895 --> 00:28:12,207 We had an implicit promise that we would get back together 674 00:28:12,207 --> 00:28:14,451 if we were both still single when we turned 70. 675 00:28:14,451 --> 00:28:15,832 I had no intention of keeping it. 676 00:28:15,832 --> 00:28:17,040 I hate her, but still. 677 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,731 Pay attention, I'm getting somewhere. 678 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,284 You have my attention. 679 00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,390 I've decided fornication 680 00:28:22,390 --> 00:28:24,357 may no longer be the primary goal. 681 00:28:24,357 --> 00:28:26,325 It may, in fact, be counterproductive. 682 00:28:26,325 --> 00:28:28,189 You have half my attention. 683 00:28:28,189 --> 00:28:30,501 The body deteriorates. 684 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:32,814 It reminds us that time, 685 00:28:32,814 --> 00:28:36,473 although an illusion, is a robust one. 686 00:28:36,473 --> 00:28:38,095 All we can do is watch. 687 00:28:38,095 --> 00:28:41,064 First go the knees, then the spleen, 688 00:28:41,064 --> 00:28:44,101 then the rest of the body, the whole thing, 689 00:28:44,101 --> 00:28:46,655 until we're just a ghost in the machine, 690 00:28:46,655 --> 00:28:48,588 then no machine. 691 00:28:48,588 --> 00:28:51,177 Casey Jones without a train. 692 00:28:52,938 --> 00:28:54,422 There he is, 693 00:28:54,905 --> 00:28:56,735 the bird boxer. 694 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,288 Quite a prank. 695 00:28:58,288 --> 00:28:59,945 - Say thank you. - Look-- 696 00:28:59,945 --> 00:29:01,256 You knew what we were planning. 697 00:29:01,256 --> 00:29:02,430 Said he didn't want any part of it. 698 00:29:02,430 --> 00:29:06,020 - I-- - Then you go and upstage the entire thing. 699 00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:08,401 - The whole goddamn thing. - Shut up, Billie. 700 00:29:08,401 --> 00:29:10,058 The whole goddamn thing. 701 00:29:10,058 --> 00:29:13,061 In my defense, the goose was an asshole. 702 00:29:13,061 --> 00:29:15,098 In your defense, 703 00:29:15,098 --> 00:29:17,686 it was a pretty big F-U to the administration 704 00:29:17,686 --> 00:29:19,758 for a guy who says he's not a union man. 705 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,072 Come join us, jackass. 706 00:29:30,044 --> 00:29:32,218 No, listen, listen, listen. 707 00:29:32,218 --> 00:29:34,911 So, there wasn't a school system in the country 708 00:29:34,911 --> 00:29:36,533 that wasn't completely uprooted by Covid, 709 00:29:36,533 --> 00:29:37,914 but even, you know, 710 00:29:37,914 --> 00:29:40,640 with all the staff turnover and the budget fights, 711 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:41,918 and all the other crap that goes along with it, 712 00:29:41,918 --> 00:29:43,643 I've got to say we fared pretty well. Pretty well? 713 00:29:43,643 --> 00:29:45,784 Top 20 charter school in the city. 714 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:47,993 Top 15, depending on which report you read. 715 00:29:47,993 --> 00:29:50,478 Last week, I cleaned up a student's piss 716 00:29:50,478 --> 00:29:52,652 because my janitor felt it was beneath him. 717 00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:55,932 Gross. 718 00:29:58,658 --> 00:30:00,315 You know what it is? 719 00:30:00,315 --> 00:30:02,145 This Arlyle job, 720 00:30:02,145 --> 00:30:04,526 it, like, got my engine running again. 721 00:30:04,526 --> 00:30:07,944 I'm listening to you talk about your schools and your careers, 722 00:30:07,944 --> 00:30:11,326 and that's the reason that we went to grad school 723 00:30:11,326 --> 00:30:13,397 in the first place. That was always the dream, 724 00:30:13,397 --> 00:30:16,815 and I just... miss it. 725 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,368 Miss it? 726 00:30:18,368 --> 00:30:20,819 I'm sure you talk like this at home all the time, no? 727 00:30:22,579 --> 00:30:23,925 Oh, my God. 728 00:30:23,925 --> 00:30:25,030 Do you know 729 00:30:25,030 --> 00:30:26,479 Hank just publicly announced 730 00:30:26,479 --> 00:30:28,930 that all the students and teachers at Railton 731 00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:31,691 should resign themselves to their mediocrity. 732 00:30:33,141 --> 00:30:34,349 - Oh, shit. - Oh... 733 00:30:34,349 --> 00:30:37,490 Yeah. I mean, he was kidding, 734 00:30:37,490 --> 00:30:40,217 but, no, he wasn't. 735 00:30:40,217 --> 00:30:42,530 Whoa! 736 00:30:42,530 --> 00:30:44,463 Hey! 737 00:30:44,463 --> 00:30:45,878 What's everybody else having? 738 00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:47,500 That's a good one... 739 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,502 You're a mean lady. 740 00:30:49,502 --> 00:30:51,435 - Let's do this. - There we go. 741 00:30:51,435 --> 00:30:53,541 Uh, here is to Dickie Pope 742 00:30:53,541 --> 00:30:56,026 and the look on his face. 743 00:30:56,026 --> 00:30:57,579 Oh, wow. 744 00:30:59,374 --> 00:31:01,376 Oh, Gracie, your poem, your ode. 745 00:31:01,376 --> 00:31:02,791 You never had a chance to read it. 746 00:31:02,791 --> 00:31:04,034 Come on, we want to hear it. 747 00:31:04,034 --> 00:31:05,449 Come on! 748 00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:06,899 Go ahead. Yeah! 749 00:31:06,899 --> 00:31:09,902 No, I think the focus is split at the moment. 750 00:31:09,902 --> 00:31:11,490 We wanna hear it. Come on. 751 00:31:11,490 --> 00:31:13,388 Trust us, this will never happen again, 752 00:31:13,388 --> 00:31:14,596 so... 753 00:31:14,596 --> 00:31:16,840 We're happy to hear it. Go for it. 754 00:31:25,090 --> 00:31:29,404 "We dipped our palms in chalk to 755 00:31:29,404 --> 00:31:32,511 keep our hands from letting go, 756 00:31:32,511 --> 00:31:34,582 and..." 757 00:31:39,207 --> 00:31:40,381 Go on, Gracie. 758 00:31:40,381 --> 00:31:42,452 This is as quiet as the bar's going to get. 759 00:31:43,384 --> 00:31:44,937 - No, I-- - Yeah, finish the poem. 760 00:31:44,937 --> 00:31:47,422 - Yeah, come on. - Finish it. 761 00:31:47,422 --> 00:31:48,803 That's the end. 762 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,633 So read the beginning. 763 00:31:53,290 --> 00:31:56,431 No, that... That was the... 764 00:31:56,431 --> 00:31:58,951 Well, perhaps you can read it again 765 00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:01,022 now that we know more about what to expect. 766 00:32:01,022 --> 00:32:03,300 You did end it with an "and". 767 00:32:07,856 --> 00:32:09,893 Hey, Lil, uh, the weirdest thing, 768 00:32:09,893 --> 00:32:12,137 but, well, you don't have to worry about me. 769 00:32:12,137 --> 00:32:14,449 I boxed this goose. 770 00:32:14,449 --> 00:32:16,865 He was... Well, he was being a jerk, 771 00:32:16,865 --> 00:32:19,730 and, well, now the faculty like me? 772 00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:22,112 Um, okay. I'm sorry I keep missing you. 773 00:32:23,562 --> 00:32:25,598 Um, please don't hurt any animals. 774 00:32:25,598 --> 00:32:28,394 I mean, I would have said something before I left, 775 00:32:28,394 --> 00:32:29,775 but, um... 776 00:32:29,775 --> 00:32:31,708 But, um, I thought you knew. 777 00:32:31,708 --> 00:32:33,261 So... Okay. 778 00:32:33,261 --> 00:32:35,746 Um, so I'm going to take the later train. 779 00:32:35,746 --> 00:32:37,748 I missed your call again. 780 00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:40,130 Sorry, it's so noisy here. 781 00:32:40,130 --> 00:32:42,477 I'm out having drinks with the department. 782 00:32:42,477 --> 00:32:44,686 Wish you were here! 783 00:32:44,686 --> 00:32:47,827 Uh... Oh, why did you change your train? 784 00:32:49,243 --> 00:32:51,141 Hey, my phone was in my bag. 785 00:32:51,141 --> 00:32:53,592 I wish I saw your call. 786 00:32:53,592 --> 00:32:55,766 Not a great idea to have drinks with them. 787 00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:58,493 You don't like them, so you should go home, 788 00:32:58,493 --> 00:33:01,427 and I will see you there. 789 00:33:01,427 --> 00:33:02,808 Hey, uh, 790 00:33:02,808 --> 00:33:06,018 why are you on a later train, huh? 791 00:33:06,018 --> 00:33:08,641 It doesn't matter. 792 00:33:08,641 --> 00:33:10,402 It's just... Take whatever train. 793 00:33:10,402 --> 00:33:12,921 It's just, you know, there's a certain amount of planning that goes into 794 00:33:12,921 --> 00:33:14,509 picking someone up at the train station. 795 00:33:14,509 --> 00:33:17,547 It's just... Anyway, that's... That's all. 796 00:33:19,307 --> 00:33:20,964 Hey, Hank's on TV! 797 00:33:20,964 --> 00:33:23,035 Hey, Meg! Turn it up. 798 00:33:24,312 --> 00:33:25,520 ...Railton College, 799 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,454 a fight broke out of a very unusual kind, 800 00:33:28,454 --> 00:33:31,043 but what started as a silly prank 801 00:33:31,043 --> 00:33:34,667 ended up being a serious challenge to the school brass. 802 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:36,359 Now we are here at a groundbreaking... 803 00:33:36,359 --> 00:33:37,843 ... for a building 804 00:33:37,843 --> 00:33:40,742 that has been paid for by cutting faculty! 805 00:33:40,742 --> 00:33:43,331 Yes! Yes! Yes! 806 00:33:43,331 --> 00:33:45,230 ...one of Railton's beloved geese... 807 00:33:45,230 --> 00:33:47,301 I will box a goose a day 808 00:33:47,301 --> 00:33:49,510 until I get my budget fully funded! 809 00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:50,649 Come on! 810 00:33:50,649 --> 00:33:53,238 - Did I say all that? - I'm texting her now. 811 00:33:53,238 --> 00:33:54,791 - Texting who? - Missy. 812 00:33:54,791 --> 00:33:56,344 - Missy who? - The journalist. 813 00:34:07,597 --> 00:34:09,806 Hey! I was just going to call you! 814 00:34:09,806 --> 00:34:11,083 Why are you still there? 815 00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:13,189 I'm having a drink with Tom and Ashley. 816 00:34:13,189 --> 00:34:15,260 Who? W-What? 817 00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:16,571 I can't hear you. 818 00:34:16,571 --> 00:34:19,091 I am having a drink with Tom and Ashley, 819 00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:21,473 so, um, I'm going to be on a later train. 820 00:34:21,473 --> 00:34:22,681 I'll take a taxi. 821 00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:25,546 Yeah, I'll come get you. 822 00:34:25,546 --> 00:34:27,893 - Tell me when the train gets in. - Um, I don't know yet. 823 00:34:27,893 --> 00:34:30,620 Okay, well, text me when you know. 824 00:34:31,310 --> 00:34:33,036 I'll pick you up. 825 00:34:33,036 --> 00:34:35,970 Just... Just tell me when you get here. 826 00:34:37,730 --> 00:34:40,733 Lil? Are you still there? 827 00:34:42,252 --> 00:34:43,529 Um, yep. 828 00:34:43,529 --> 00:34:45,531 Yeah, yeah, I will text you. 829 00:34:45,531 --> 00:34:46,912 Okay, love you, love you. 830 00:34:46,912 --> 00:34:48,051 Okay, uh, what? 831 00:34:48,051 --> 00:34:49,984 Uh... 832 00:35:02,824 --> 00:35:04,964 The artwork above the urinals is... 833 00:35:04,964 --> 00:35:07,139 I mean, masterpiece. 834 00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:09,417 I need another one of these. 835 00:35:09,417 --> 00:35:10,591 He still loves bathroom decor. 836 00:35:10,591 --> 00:35:12,558 He just kissed me. 837 00:35:12,558 --> 00:35:14,250 What? 838 00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:15,975 O-okay, hang on, 839 00:35:15,975 --> 00:35:17,908 That was playing around. That was not a real kiss. 840 00:35:17,908 --> 00:35:20,566 - Tom... - I thought we were flirting. 841 00:35:20,566 --> 00:35:21,809 Yeah, we were flirting, 842 00:35:21,809 --> 00:35:23,604 and then you ruined it. 843 00:35:23,604 --> 00:35:25,744 - I was on the phone with my husband. - Right. 844 00:35:25,744 --> 00:35:28,816 I was making a joke. Who in their right mind would kiss somebody 845 00:35:28,816 --> 00:35:30,128 that was on the phone with their husband? 846 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,853 - That was the joke-- - I'm married, you're married. 847 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,133 Actually... 848 00:35:36,479 --> 00:35:37,756 We're separated. 849 00:35:37,756 --> 00:35:39,965 It's been a few months. I was going to tell you. 850 00:35:39,965 --> 00:35:43,658 We tried. It was a lot of therapy, not a lot of result. 851 00:35:43,658 --> 00:35:45,764 Well, I'm sorry... 852 00:35:47,006 --> 00:35:48,732 But I still feel like you're not hearing me. 853 00:35:48,732 --> 00:35:49,940 I mean, that? 854 00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:52,322 That... 855 00:35:52,322 --> 00:35:54,462 Was not okay. 856 00:35:55,636 --> 00:35:57,534 I'm so sorry. 857 00:36:00,296 --> 00:36:01,538 Okay. 858 00:36:03,402 --> 00:36:04,438 This was so wonderful, you guys... 859 00:36:04,438 --> 00:36:06,025 Oh, Lil... 860 00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:07,717 ...but I'm just going to get going, so... 861 00:36:08,649 --> 00:36:10,168 Bye. 862 00:36:35,227 --> 00:36:37,195 All right. 863 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:40,198 There you are, and this one is for Hank. 864 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:41,578 Tell him it's on me. 865 00:36:41,578 --> 00:36:44,202 After taking away your classes? No. 866 00:36:46,065 --> 00:36:48,171 What are you talking about? It was the administration. 867 00:36:48,171 --> 00:36:51,209 Mmm-mmm, it was him, and if he tells you that I asked him to, 868 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,521 I'm telling you that I was just spouting off. 869 00:36:53,521 --> 00:36:55,489 I didn't think he'd go through with it. 870 00:36:55,489 --> 00:36:58,837 Who listens to somebody ranting at 2:00 a.m? 871 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,741 Gracie, um, I've... 872 00:37:06,741 --> 00:37:09,503 I've never been a fan of minimalist poetry, 873 00:37:09,503 --> 00:37:11,505 but I gotta say-- 874 00:37:11,505 --> 00:37:12,713 You are not getting your parking space back. 875 00:37:12,713 --> 00:37:14,370 No, no... 876 00:37:16,406 --> 00:37:17,994 - Good to go? - Yeah, let's go. 877 00:37:17,994 --> 00:37:19,064 Oh, hey, Hank, here you go. 878 00:37:19,064 --> 00:37:20,307 - No, no, I'm fine. - No? 879 00:37:20,307 --> 00:37:23,241 - Yeah, we're done. - Hey, guys, the conquering hero here 880 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,656 - has to go home. - No, no... 881 00:37:24,656 --> 00:37:26,174 No! 882 00:37:26,174 --> 00:37:27,624 I'm not a hero-- 883 00:37:27,624 --> 00:37:28,832 - I'm not a hero. - We're done. 884 00:37:28,832 --> 00:37:30,040 - Yeah... - We're done here. 885 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,352 We are done. 886 00:37:31,352 --> 00:37:33,251 Yeah, right, we're done here, we're done. 887 00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,459 We're done here! 888 00:37:34,459 --> 00:37:36,219 No, we're not done. Okay. 889 00:37:36,219 --> 00:37:37,393 You're, uh... 890 00:37:37,393 --> 00:37:38,911 - This is the guy from, uh... - Yes. 891 00:37:38,911 --> 00:37:40,050 You think you're pretty funny, huh? 892 00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:42,052 Professor A-hole. 893 00:37:42,052 --> 00:37:43,295 Professor A-hole. 894 00:37:43,295 --> 00:37:44,710 I like that. 895 00:37:44,710 --> 00:37:47,230 - Come on, let's-- - Geese have feelings, too, all right? Just like us. 896 00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:49,301 Well, they have feelings, but not like us. 897 00:37:49,301 --> 00:37:51,130 - You think that's funny? - Well, it's factual. 898 00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:52,960 It's a little funny, don't you think? 899 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,064 You know what I think is funny? 900 00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:55,721 - Whoa! - Whoa, hey! 901 00:37:55,721 --> 00:37:57,482 What's going on? Whoa! 902 00:37:57,482 --> 00:37:59,104 That's assault! 903 00:37:59,104 --> 00:38:01,624 - You're going to jail! - You're going to jail! 904 00:38:01,624 --> 00:38:03,453 No one is going to jail! 905 00:38:04,592 --> 00:38:05,628 God is dead, 906 00:38:05,628 --> 00:38:07,181 and we have killed him. 907 00:38:07,181 --> 00:38:09,079 Nietzsche's point isn't that we should live in despair 908 00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:11,634 of ever finding meaning just because we've abandoned the magical dogma 909 00:38:11,634 --> 00:38:13,291 of our particular age. 910 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,844 Nietzsche wasn't a nihilist. 911 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,156 "God is dead, 912 00:38:17,156 --> 00:38:19,020 and we have killed him." 913 00:38:19,020 --> 00:38:21,609 This is not cause for despair, but celebration, 914 00:38:21,609 --> 00:38:23,749 for we have been liberated by that murder 915 00:38:23,749 --> 00:38:25,130 to do what Nietzsche believed 916 00:38:25,130 --> 00:38:28,167 was the essential task of all our lives. 917 00:38:30,342 --> 00:38:32,931 To make meaning from the world as we find it, 918 00:38:32,931 --> 00:38:34,933 not as we wish it to be. 919 00:38:36,383 --> 00:38:40,214 It just got late, and so I decided to stay in the city. 920 00:38:40,214 --> 00:38:43,113 Being in New York again, it feels like I'm back in my 20s, 921 00:38:43,113 --> 00:38:45,944 like there was... There was so much possibility 922 00:38:45,944 --> 00:38:49,016 and surprises, you know. 923 00:38:49,016 --> 00:38:50,811 Anyway, I hope you went home, 924 00:38:50,811 --> 00:38:54,677 like I told you to, and are curled up in a warm bed, 925 00:38:54,677 --> 00:38:57,956 and have managed to stay out of the hospital. Ha, ha. 926 00:38:57,956 --> 00:38:59,992 All right, uh, good night. 927 00:39:01,097 --> 00:39:03,444 ♪ I, I can see ♪ 928 00:39:03,444 --> 00:39:05,170 ♪ You and me ♪ 929 00:39:05,170 --> 00:39:07,966 ♪ Walking hand in hand Through the park... ♪