1
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,045
每隔一段時間
2
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:09,134
我都會記起那天我如何改變了世界
3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,260
{\an8}(達普托,1912 年)
4
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,928
{\an8}(袋鼠皮曬光燈工場、達普托酒店
莊氏父子公司)
5
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,556
爸爸,你有否聽說鐵達尼號
處女首航的新聞?
6
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,101
人們叫這艘船做永不沉沒之船
我真的希望它能安全抵達美國
7
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,021
號外...鐵達尼號已經沉沒!
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,148
1500 人在意外中罹難!
9
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,025
都是一些無辜的人!
10
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,235
真希望我們可以做點什麼拯救他們!
11
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,904
沒有火辣規矩的話,我們就可以
12
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,197
火辣規矩?
13
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,575
麥士維,你知否在澳洲
14
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,119
時差上比美國快了 15 小時?
15
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,580
你是說,我們正身處未來?
16
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:42,876
對,這刻在大西洋那邊
鐵達尼號還未沉沒
17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,128
事實上,若你現在打去警告他們
18
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,214
他們大概還有 5 分鐘時間作準備
19
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,593
但我們澳洲人發過誓,不會擾亂時空運作
20
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,095
違反至高無上的火辣規矩
算是我們最嚴重的罪行
21
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,972
你明白嗎,麥士維?
22
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,434
麥士維!不要!
23
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,021
船長,收到由澳洲未來發出的電報
24
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:07,776
上面寫着:「你好,先生,句號
老友,你會撞船,句號」
25
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,403
「我估,你仲有五分鐘時間,句號」
26
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,323
撞船?我們怎會在五分鐘之後撞船?
27
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,991
我們一早就留意到冰山
28
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,577
是什麼將我們捲入意外危機?
29
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,828
我不知道,船長
30
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,831
或許等一陣才揭開這副受詛咒的石棺
31
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,209
你也說得對
32
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,586
送它回貨倉,也發電報給澳洲那邊
33
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,962
感謝他們改變歷史吧?
34
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:30,924
爸爸,成功了!我拯救...
35
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,385
-爸爸?
-逮捕他,時空警察
36
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:36,805
當我沒生過這個仔
37
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:40,058
我本該聽爸爸的說話
38
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,937
但我又怎會知道她的存在?
39
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,608
大家好
40
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:52,112
我來是跟你重聚
41
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,738
{\an8}(我需要你)
42
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,574
{\an8}(加入軍隊行列)
43
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,953
{\an8}她加入了軍隊
44
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,914
帶領美國打贏兩次世界大戰
45
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,793
最終宣誓成為木乃伊總統
46
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,295
{\an8}有天在簽署和平條約時
47
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,924
她愛上了蘇共衰神布里茲尼夫
48
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:17,554
{\an8}她們離棄自己的國民,到月球過淡泊生活
49
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,430
{\an8}最終令世界陷入混亂
50
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:20,557
{\an8}(美國崩潰)
51
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:25,770
之後導彈不斷横飛,美國變成有毒的廢墟
52
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:30,108
唯獨荷里活能倖免
它脫離美國本土在海上飄浮
53
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:35,238
但我知道美國人仍在外面等待機會
54
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,199
靜候發動反擊的完美時刻!
55
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:45,165
我就是這樣搞禍了未來
56
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,841
{\an8}(停車場,達普托商場)
57
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,858
{\an8}《樹熊俠》
58
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,903
{\an8}樹熊俠守則第 2040 條:
59
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:20,116
{\an8}記住,若果沒有衣領,就不算是恤衫
60
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,244
{\an8}(查得韋根餐室)
61
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,871
{\an8}我從不知道美國人這麼偉大
62
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,624
{\an8}查得韋根說
每個餐都隨碟附送一份自由!
63
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,125
{\an8}超勁爆醬!
64
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,210
{\an8}里安,拜託!
65
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,088
{\an8}我肯來這間九唔搭八的新奇餐廳
為你們這一對雙胞胎慶祝生日
66
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,883
{\an8}全因我想見識美國人無法無天的態度
67
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,886
{\an8}如何最終自招滅亡
並因此成為一個警世故事
68
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,972
{\an8}-成功了,今個生日好無癮
-你的計劃適得其反,爸爸
69
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,058
{\an8}我現在睇清楚澳洲人有幾無聊
70
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,602
{\an8}我們只關心足球、鯊魚之類
71
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,896
{\an8}查得韋根說美國人透過非法賽車
72
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,856
{\an8}解決了他們大部份的問題
73
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:53,858
{\an8}真希望我是一位美國人
74
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,485
{\an8}美國自取滅亡
75
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,488
{\an8}所有美國人才搬去更理性的國家居住
76
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:02,283
{\an8}各位,我們要打劫
77
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,785
我們要打劫「你哋們」
78
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:09,082
交現金給我們,否則就捅你一刀之類
79
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,625
基雲,做點什麼吧!
80
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,127
我想是時候出動了,樹熊...
81
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:17,882
{\an8}(查得)
82
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,556
天啊,是查得韋根!
83
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,276
他認真無得頂!
84
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,529
我本該早點出現,但搵泊車位好難!
85
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,989
對吧,兄弟?
86
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:48,329
請你可否教教我,怎樣成為一位
風趣又熱愛自由的美國人?
87
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:52,125
我不知道你是否夠斤両加入我的大家庭?
88
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,042
大家庭
89
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,211
就是大家庭,有血緣的家人不接受你時
90
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,463
你就創造出另一個大家庭來代替
91
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,717
事實上,已經有個澳洲家庭很接受里安
92
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,261
你不需灌輸任何閣下的美國價值觀給他
93
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,971
老兄,是我就不會聽這個人說話
94
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,015
他看來最多只有 1.7 米高
95
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,017
遲些見,兄弟
96
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,651
{\an8}你班友靜一點
97
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,361
大隻格里要講一單大新聞
98
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:24,115
我剛收到消息,女王會大駕親臨達普托
99
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,951
誰自願參與保障女王人身安全
100
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,453
這種絕對垃圾的工作?
101
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,163
我願意!選我吧...
102
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,457
我收到可靠消息,那位俊朗又剛強的
103
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,293
達普托超級英雄樹熊俠,也希望參與行動
104
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,170
或許這樣做能向他兒子展示
105
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,546
澳洲人可以幾有型
106
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,922
是嘛...才不管
107
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:43,051
還有一件事, 因為待在這美麗城鎮 根本百無聊賴
108
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,386
我們要舉辦香腸捲小姐選美大賽
109
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,888
以便女王能為勝出者加冕
110
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,639
我知一切都很倉猝
111
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,017
但我肯定能找到一班絕望、發神經
112
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,478
又不受人歡迎的廢柴
夢想當選為香腸捲小姐
113
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:58,358
媽媽,我將參加香腸捲小姐
但我要你買套新泳衣給我
114
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,027
我喜歡這一套,差點遮不住波波和妹妺
115
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,071
說話莊重點!而且我禁止你參賽
116
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:06,824
但,媽媽,我勝出就能跟女王見面
117
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,701
連露絲尤杜斯也未見過女王
118
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:09,994
我說了不准
119
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:14,165
你不會明白的
你一世人外表只勉強算是平庸
120
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,666
是嗎?
121
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,751
{\an8}(回憶相簿)
122
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,795
{\an8}媽媽,你以前是個靚女?
123
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:23,466
我付出一切努力,競逐香腸捲小姐后冠
最後失敗而回!
124
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,344
這全因索絲西蒙斯之故
125
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:30,598
{\an8}她當然很有本錢,天生就像一件香腸捲
126
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:34,060
{\an8}但事前我想清楚,一個天真的小小鄉下妹
不算是個威脅
127
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:38,398
只是決賽時,索絲將菜油倒滿全身
128
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,233
她自信地踏出香腸蘭花步時
129
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,778
她腳下的油跡令我跣低
130
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,446
我當時見她在大笑
131
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:48,074
她早有預謀想我仆低
132
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,284
那個風騷又狡猾的八婆
133
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,037
我輸掉比賽後,就完全迷失了自我
134
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,623
還過了七年花天酒地的生活
135
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,209
-交了很多朋友
-爸爸又怎樣?
136
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,170
他堅持說我們在談異地戀
137
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,380
我們算是分開了一陣
138
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,383
跟着等我回到達普托,就嫁給你爸爸
139
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,928
但若非索絲西蒙斯
我早已贏得香腸捲小姐名銜
140
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,805
並改寫一切
141
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,056
{\an8}一切!
142
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,016
你不能參選,這是最後決定!
143
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,814
你或許會問,這是什麼?
144
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:23,276
都只是女王來訪時
所採取的高度機密保安藍圖
145
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:24,902
不錯
146
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:28,823
女王要來訪達普托
為何你們不能興奮一點?
147
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:32,118
我本可興奮一點
但媽媽拒絕訓練我參選香腸捲小姐
148
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,703
都只是為你好,愛麗遜
149
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,456
我還記得你參選香腸捲小姐的日子,維琪
150
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,291
全靠你的一些參賽玉照
151
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,877
幫我捱過我們談異地戀那 7 年
152
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:47,216
好味道啊,我好鍾意食真正的澳洲肉批
153
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,803
用澳洲本地動物肉而製成
154
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,638
-我想要茄汁
-里安
155
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,558
在澳洲,我們會說「蕃茄醬」
156
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,852
為何不能像在查得韋根餐室那樣食薯條
157
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:01,647
是脆薯,里安!它們叫脆薯!
我甚至不認識你是誰!
158
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,857
或許你從來不認識我!
159
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,860
現在我終於明白
為何我永遠不能融入其他澳洲人
160
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,197
因為在我心目中,我一直是個美國人
161
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,531
這是查得說的
162
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:13,284
無錯!我今日放學後去見查得
163
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,244
我不要你跟那男人混熟!
164
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,997
你或許是我的家人
你不屬於我這個大家庭
165
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,249
查得說若你屬於大家庭
就不會躲在面具背後
166
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,043
你告訴他我的秘密身份?
167
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,670
那真的...令我很生氣
168
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,049
話你知一件事:蕃茄醬並非超勁爆醬
169
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,011
查得韋根!
170
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,889
(草地滾球會)
171
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:39,060
我不明白何解里安
堅持同一個無法無天的美國人做朋友
172
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:43,439
直覺告訴我,查得韋根不是個好人
173
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:47,193
對,樹熊俠,我們究竟做錯什麼
才讓這些美國人來侵略我們的海岸線?
174
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,612
沒人能預計當中的後果
175
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,781
我只想拯救這艘美麗的大船
176
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,742
我認為麥士維開始癡癡呆呆
177
00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:57,995
才不是!我在多年前犯了一個錯誤
178
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,790
我違反了火辣規矩
179
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,251
乜話?你在講什麼?你說話要細聲點
180
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,335
好搞笑
181
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,254
你是傻的嗎,你個老而不?
182
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,005
想時空警察來逮捕你嗎?
183
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,257
他們已逮捕過我
184
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,342
我在時空監獄坐過 20 年監
185
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,468
若不是我之故
186
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:16,097
木乃伊總統一早就跟着鐵達尼號葬身大海
187
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,433
之後的一切事情,都由我一手造成
188
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:20,518
聽清楚我講
189
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:24,063
若美國人有份介入,將有可怕的事發生
190
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,899
我現在要離開這城鎮!你們也應該走!
191
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,613
好吧,明天見,麥士維
192
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,323
麥士維說對了一件事
193
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,784
這個美國人只會令事情惡化
194
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:41,038
或許他該要會一會樹熊俠
195
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,458
即是我
196
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:47,712
哈囉,媽媽
197
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,381
有個人入圍香腸捲小姐大賽
你無可能估到
198
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,341
就是索絲西蒙斯
199
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:55,136
-別傻了,她已太老
-是小索絲西蒙斯
200
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,972
我可以肯定,她繼承了她媽的騷味
201
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,141
現在她是大熱門
202
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:03,185
除非有人出來擊敗她
203
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:06,105
愛麗遜,不要,你不知自己在說什麼
204
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,733
你想復仇,我亦很想受人歡迎
205
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,736
若你肯指導我,我們或許能合作勝出
206
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:18,117
好吧,但記着選美比賽
足以令最體貼的女人變成怪物
207
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:21,203
媽媽,我是個 14 歲女孩 而且我已是一隻怪物
208
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,831
我不是在說你,愛麗遜
209
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,751
開始訓練吧
210
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,044
好的,媽媽
211
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,714
{\an8}(美國正肉與靚車餐室)
212
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,467
真希望你親身見證過美國最風光的日子
213
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,928
-那時真是天堂
-為何你最終流落達普托?
214
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:41,015
荷里活一變成了孤島
我心知美國經已玩完
215
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:44,185
但我不能讓美國的「正斗」氣派就此消失
216
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,936
所以我傾盡家財買了一張機票
217
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,897
來到澳洲開餐廳
218
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,359
我每日艱苦奮進
就像美國的紅、白、藍三色旗一樣
219
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,361
澳洲的國旗也是紅、白、藍三色
220
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,695
但我們的國旗更優越
221
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,322
我不會騙你,細路
222
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,866
要做一位來自美國的難民並不容易
223
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,285
真希望在澳洲,我們有屬於自己的家
224
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:04,747
一個我們可以叫作家鄉的地方
但女王從不首肯
225
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:08,250
-條八婆好小氣
-或許我們只需向她展示
226
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,211
美國式生活有多美好
227
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,587
老兄!好主意!
228
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,674
她來到達普托時
我們就表演型爆的飛車特技給她看
229
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,134
她將看得很開心,之後就聆聽我們的要求
230
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,844
聽來好像超勁爆醬
231
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,930
但現場保安會超級嚴密
232
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,432
兄弟,你個弱雞老豆
不是手執保安藍圖嗎?
233
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,059
你要將之弄到手
234
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:29,063
那麼在澳洲滅亡後,美國就可以重生
235
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,606
-你說什麼?
-沒什麼...
236
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,776
我只是想起漢堡包和熱狗之類
237
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,946
韋根先生,交出那個男仔
238
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,782
你好啊,澳洲隊長
239
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,159
可惡!那是個很好的超級英雄名字
240
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,370
不! 要抵住他的魅力
241
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,789
以達普托和一切之美名
242
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,166
我命令你別再影響我個仔
243
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,751
或許我不想再做你個仔
244
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,129
別胡鬧,里安,快上車
245
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,339
想帶走里安? 你先要鍊贏我一轉
246
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,092
從這裏到那座橋的距離
剛好有四份一英里
247
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,469
我愛逐次賭命四份一英里
248
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:04,140
更正,是逐次賭命 402.3 米
249
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,351
是旦啦,總之誰贏了就可留住里安
250
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,103
里安,這很離譜
251
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,397
聽來你爸爸很害怕,里安
252
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,899
他當然害怕,他是澳洲人
253
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,403
好,就鍊一轉吧,美國佬
254
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:28,956
開始!
255
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:36,130
基雲,開快一點也不會有問題,老友
256
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,465
我不可以,樹熊面罩
257
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,050
-這裏的限速是 60
-但要靠賽車救我們個仔!
258
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,135
係我個仔
259
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,930
查得或者識得飛車
但我很認識達普托的道路
260
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:48,017
前面將有路丘,跟着還有超速攝影機
261
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,144
他開得太快了
262
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,396
若路丘對付不了他,超速攝影機就可以
263
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,116
不要!
264
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,121
無法無天的美國人,你作弊!
265
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,873
你輸了,你個小氣鬼!
266
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,416
好有型!
267
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,168
現在里安屬於我了!
268
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,795
里安,你不是認真的吧?
269
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:21,217
你不屬於我的大家庭,樹熊俠
現在你甚至不是我的家人
270
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,596
你現在就叫里安韋根
271
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,306
我愛你,查得韋根
272
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,434
拜託,阿仔,你就叫我韋根爸爸
273
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,324
{\an8}(香腸捲小姐)
274
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,335
(保安地圖)
275
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,967
{\an8}(女王)
276
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,470
(壞人)
277
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,348
(比達普托標準時間快 1 分鐘)
278
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,616
親愛的里安...
279
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,119
真希望你可以在這裏觀賞一切
280
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:34,707
不!我必須專注手頭上的任務:保護女王
281
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,712
看吧,原來是跣腳維琪
282
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,171
收聲,索絲!
283
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,591
我個女會大勝,你個女連車尾燈都見唔到
284
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,886
你要忘記過去,維琪,那真的令人很尷尬
285
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,012
還有現在這刻
286
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,347
你現在的生活也令人很尷尬
287
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:53,225
我們女兒的表演將是最佳裁判
288
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:57,313
現在只剩下兩名參賽者
是時候進入本活動的高潮環節
289
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,898
表演香腸蘭花步
290
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,151
愛麗遜,我想說的是
雖然我們母親之前有些芥蒂
291
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,611
但我希望贏家是表演最佳的人
292
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,113
你不是人類,你只是條爛臭香腸捲
293
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:09,783
請拍掌歡迎小索絲!
294
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,379
三位評判都給出九分
295
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,757
那位索女真甜美
296
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:31,221
請大家再次拍掌歡迎最後一位參賽者
愛麗遜威廉斯!
297
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,831
去死吧,你條腸型八婆!食蕉啦!
298
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:05,214
韋根爸爸,你在做什麼?
299
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:09,343
我正作出最後調校
讓你的特技飛車更賞心悅目
300
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,555
別擔心,只是些安全措施
301
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,683
現在就令韋根爸爸以你為榮吧
302
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,979
-美國...
-美國...
303
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:26,443
有請頒發香腸捲小姐冠軍大獎的嘉賓
304
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:31,240
澳洲女王:妮歌潔曼!
305
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:37,454
喂啊,達普托,好鬼榮幸來到這裏
306
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:41,166
好啊,愛麗遜就站在澳洲女王旁邊
307
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:42,918
那是什麼?
308
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,753
附近不該有任何車輛出現
309
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:45,838
(保安範圍)
310
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,799
好吧,大家靜一點
311
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,093
跟大家講個有趣故事,我在小時候
312
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,054
我以為我會搬去美國
跟一位來自外太空的救世主
313
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,180
來一段媒妁婚姻
314
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,100
之後我會簽下一大堆好威水的電視劇
315
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,185
在劇中飾演穿上毛衣的苦情媽媽
316
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:03,689
但在美國崩潰後
317
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,525
我決定留在此地,成為你們的女王
318
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,901
這也很不錯吧?
319
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,738
{\an8}無論如何,恭喜你,香腸捲小姐!
320
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:13,824
啟動自駕模式
321
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:14,908
{\an8}(自駕模式)
322
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:18,912
{\an8}殺死女王,嫁禍里安
重啟澳洲進入美國 2.0 模式
323
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:19,997
什麼?
324
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:24,209
什麼?不要...
325
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,673
不要!
326
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:34,970
大家好...我來是跟你重...
327
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,182
突發新聞,一位小男孩駕駛着跑車
328
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,392
並在車頭蓋上將澳洲女王活生生燒死
329
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,102
其小男孩亦慘死當場
330
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:44,688
一位滿身肌肉的美國男子
宣告自己將成為澳洲新領袖
331
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,690
{\an8}我們大概都在配合他
332
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:50,778
不要,麥士維!你不該改變過去!
333
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,865
總之,我們正活在美國 2.0 的世界
一切都超勁爆醬!
334
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,701
{\an8}豈有此理!我才不管什麼法律!
335
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,211
樹熊俠,快點接電話...
336
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,715
現在想起來
我乖女愛麗遜正站在澳洲女王身邊
337
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,093
真希望里安能見證這一切
338
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,177
那是什麼?
339
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,012
附近範圍根本不該有車輛出現
340
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,224
喂,麥士維
341
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,268
天啊!謝謝你打來警告我!
342
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:26,647
但現在你觸犯了火辣規矩
我就必須舉報你,老友
343
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,524
對,我將向當局告發你
344
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,484
你不能...觸犯法律,老友
345
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:35,114
沒問題的...遲些再說,拜拜
346
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,198
等一等
347
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:40,202
是時候拯救我個仔
妮歌潔曼女王和整個澳洲
348
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,620
好正吧?
349
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,748
{\an8}總之要恭嘉新任香腸捲小姐!
350
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,833
{\an8}我成功了
351
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,710
{\an8}由明天開始,我會是校內最有權力的女生
352
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,839
{\an8}我好開心,這是我一生中最寶貴的時刻
353
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,639
愛麗遜!女王!
354
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,318
他們燒死了我個女!
355
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,697
不要...
356
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,173
小索絲救了我一命
357
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:38,343
我們值得追封她為香腸捲小姐
而不是愛麗遜
358
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:41,805
天啊...不要!我差點就成功!
359
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,187
發生了令人傷心的連串事件
360
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:53,025
我提議大家為勇敢的香腸捲默哀一下
361
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,528
無論如何,誰在期待大抽獎?
362
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,036
阿仔,那場飛車特技怎麼了?
363
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,245
你根本想嫁禍給我
364
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:08,081
為了美國總要作出些犧牲,老兄
365
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,333
我以為你會明白
366
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,793
我們本可在澳洲本土讓美國重生
367
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,378
是美國 2.0 啊,兄弟
368
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,380
你只需殺死女王
369
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:19,009
-查得,別行近我個仔
-爸爸!
370
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:23,096
韋根先生,我要求你立即離開達普托
371
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,265
否則怎樣?你又想鍊一轉?
372
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:28,185
不,你們無法無天的美國人
就是有這個問題
373
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,689
你們都是班粗魯、傲慢和滿身肌肉的小丑
374
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:33,941
你不能這樣跟我說話
375
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,777
因為有第一修正案,我說什麼都可以
376
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:37,945
(美國國「薈」)
377
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,906
我明白了,要打敗美國人
378
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,700
我必須先明白美國人
還要試着為阿仔投其所好
379
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,329
{\an8}你們美國人最投入追求言論自由吧
380
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,374
是吧,你個衰佬?
381
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,458
《機械舞與洛基》
382
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:52,668
別這樣說...
383
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:53,710
你條賤精
384
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,212
別這樣說...
385
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,922
-廢柴
-別再說!
386
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,674
不要...別管我吧!
387
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,093
-別再說!
-查得,這一切都是真的嗎?
388
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,262
我曾否屬於你的大家庭?
389
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,640
里安,你永遠都是我的大家...
390
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,812
抵死
391
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,940
抱歉,爸爸,我之前好像沖昏了頭腦
392
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,400
我明白的,里安
393
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,527
你給美國文化迷住
394
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:22,239
我在你這種年紀也試過
但我們是澳洲人,里安
395
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:24,449
我們必須盡力做自己
396
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,621
但有時候我可否講茄汁?
397
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,707
我會考慮一下
398
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:39,506
時空警察,別起訴他,他救了我一命
399
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,842
來吧,麥士維,我現在就帶你回家
400
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,636
謝謝你,女王大人
401
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,978
(現場直播:
小索絲西蒙斯的國家級葬體)
402
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,147
真的替她風光大葬
403
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:58,066
愛麗遜,你輸了後有何感受?
404
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,360
你想去過 7 年花天酒地的生活
405
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,654
再安定下來過那種平靜又絕望的人生嗎?
406
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:04,448
我有什麼感受?
407
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,496
其實我感覺還不錯
408
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:16,752
一次失望的經歷
毋須影響你整個漫長的人生
409
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,713
或許無論如何,事情根本都不會改變
410
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,799
就算當年我贏了,最終我也會待在這個家
411
00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:27,054
那副棺材空空如也
他們將小索絲分給了有需要的家庭
412
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:30,182
那是澳洲人的英雄,跟你一樣,爸爸
413
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,476
我想是吧
414
00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:46,365
查得?大家庭!
415
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,666
木乃伊總統誓要報仇
416
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:26,530
字幕翻譯:童日陞