1 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570 Stay off your feet. 2 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,531 No, that's not really a thing anymore. 3 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:34,826 It's fine to be active. It's good, actually. 4 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:38,955 As long as you're eating properly, staying hydrated, you can exercise. 5 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,875 Would you consider yourself a generally healthy person? 6 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,585 Compared to what? 7 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,338 You've got some anxiety around this. 8 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,298 That's normal, 9 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:52,719 but it's helpful to try to minimize stress during your pregnancy. 10 00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:57,432 I find a lot of my patients benefit from relaxation techniques, 11 00:00:57,515 --> 00:01:00,226 guided meditation, breathing exercises. 12 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,145 What about when this thing actually gets here? 13 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,897 Is there a breathing exercise for that? 14 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,151 We're hardwired to do this. 15 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,028 You're going to be a great mom. 16 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,823 How would you know that? 17 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,036 How the fuck would you know that? 18 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,830 You're basing that on… on… 19 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:23,083 On what, my weight? 20 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,043 My blood pressure? 21 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,670 How the fuck would you know what kind of mother I'm gonna be? 22 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,256 What if… what if I don't even want this thing? 23 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,216 You ever think about that? 24 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,760 -Of course, I didn't mean to-- -Breathing exercises. 25 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,929 I just meant for you to take care of yourself. 26 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,430 -Obviously the decision is-- -Take care of myself? 27 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,892 What does that even mean? Do you hear yourself? 28 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:33,820 Liv! Come back here, querida. Come back here right now! 29 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:45,206 Dad? 30 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,420 It's okay, Liv. I'm still here. 31 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:57,886 See? 32 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,597 I'm right here. 33 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,765 I promise. 34 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,417 I love you. 35 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:36,966 -Liv. 36 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,761 Liv, come on. You got to get up. 37 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,888 Nope, we're not doing that. 38 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,349 Come on. It's you and me, kid. 39 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,351 Time to start our day. 40 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:49,812 Get up, Liv. 41 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,065 You have to keep on moving. 42 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,985 You have to walk… or you'll die. 43 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,011 Rises in the East. 44 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,804 Sets in the West. 45 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,140 Rises in the East. 46 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,518 Sets in the West. 47 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,354 North. 48 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,231 I'm going North. 49 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,414 It's impossible. 50 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,334 Impossible? 51 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:41,007 It's not impossible. 52 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,801 How far have you gotten? 53 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,095 It's too hard. 54 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,224 How do you eat an elephant? 55 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,228 How do you eat an elephant? 56 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,481 One bite at a time. 57 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:12,997 One bite at a time. 58 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:05,258 Then you're going to pull the corners. Yeah. 59 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,135 And smooth it out. 60 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,888 And then here, what you're going to do is fold this part, 61 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,015 make it nice and smooth. 62 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,145 Very good. 63 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:37,832 We're gonna be late. 64 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,211 I'll just take this. Right. 65 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,515 North. 66 00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,687 North. 67 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,761 -Liv? 68 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,721 -What have I told you about-- -I'm sorry. 69 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,475 About working with mixed media. 70 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:41,938 Try some red. 71 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,061 Thought I'd walk with you a bit. That okay? 72 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,149 I don't know how much walking I have left in me. 73 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:18,112 -Four, five days maybe, and then-- -Don't think about that. 74 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,614 Just keep going. 75 00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,284 It's all I can think about. 76 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,955 Dying out here. 77 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,208 Just keep moving forward. 78 00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,086 Long as you can do that, you still got a shot. 79 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,384 Liv, don't think about it. 80 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,636 Think about something else. 81 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,229 You could've told me… 82 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:54,732 that you were pregnant. 83 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,027 I didn't know. 84 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,489 After, I mean after you knew. 85 00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,077 What difference would it make? 86 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,291 "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood." 87 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,710 -Danny. -Fine, we'll skip the Frost. 88 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,007 Who knows what difference? 89 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,092 Maybe none. 90 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,638 You could've told me, that's all. 91 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,891 I was always more of a… 92 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,393 Langston Hughes gal. 93 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,440 "Holding you is difficult today." 94 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,986 "You feel sharp and jagged." 95 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,407 "All shoulder blades and elbows." 96 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,705 "How I would love to round your edges." 97 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:58,337 "To make you smooth in my rock tumbler heart." 98 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,010 That's Hughes? 99 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,681 That's one of my dad's. 100 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,068 I think I'd be a good dad. 101 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,321 Of course, you do. 102 00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:29,869 You suffer from chronic overconfidence. 103 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,875 I mean, what's to know? 104 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,837 You hug them, you tell them you love them, 105 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,549 you make them feel like nothing is ever gonna hurt them. 106 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,218 But it will. 107 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,971 Sure, you lie. 108 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,142 I don't believe in lying to the people you love. 109 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,561 Lies pile up. 110 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:02,610 The truth… is hard, but that's all we've got. 111 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,861 You want some truth? 112 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,573 I think you'd be a good mom, too. 113 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:11,493 Yeah? 114 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,747 Besides, I've known you, what? Almost a year now? 115 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,917 Yeah. Sounds about right. 116 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:22,338 That whole time, I've never once known you to do anything half-assed. 117 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,675 Raising a kid seems like a weird thing to start on. 118 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,429 Just some things are out of our control. 119 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:34,099 Yeah. For all of us. Isn't it great? 120 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,282 Could've told me. 121 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,702 You could have told me anything. 122 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:57,915 I would have listened. 123 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,919 I know. 124 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,907 Why didn't you tell me… 125 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,703 about the postcards? 126 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,458 You lied to me. 127 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,590 All those times when I asked you where Mom was 128 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,925 and you said you didn't know. 129 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,056 Those were for me. 130 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,602 She was reaching for me. 131 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,693 This place. 132 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,612 These walls. 133 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,824 These rooms. 134 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,244 All the love, 135 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:19,955 all the pain. 136 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,754 We… stayed in it. 137 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,632 And we waited. 138 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,970 She knew exactly where we were. 139 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,602 Those words weren't for you. 140 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,149 They were for her. 141 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,072 And you gave her enough. 142 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,242 That wasn't for you to decide. 143 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,999 There's a difference between being left, 144 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,920 and being forgotten. 145 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:29,149 Picture yourself in a vast endless forest. 146 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,861 Nothing and no one around. 147 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,864 Just the trees. 148 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,201 The Earth. 149 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,329 The wind. 150 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,290 The water. 151 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,671 Feel yourself alone in this place. 152 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,760 A living breathing part of it. 153 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,597 Drinking it in. 154 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,476 You are only your body. 155 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,856 You are only your breath. 156 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,694 Feel the landscape moving through you, 157 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,614 returning you to yourself. 158 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,202 And as you move through it, 159 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,247 you are also a part of it. 160 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,209 You are alive inside your body. 161 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,881 You are alive inside your breath. 162 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,010 You are blood. 163 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,555 You are bone. 164 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,726 You are flesh. 165 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,938 You are right where you belong. 166 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,693 You are home. 167 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,324 You are home. 168 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,246 You are home. 169 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:52,793 It's okay, Dad. 170 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,589 -You're so tired. 171 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,804 It's okay to rest. 172 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,183 You should rest for a while. 173 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,399 It's okay to let go. 174 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,404 It's okay. 175 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,781 I'm here. 176 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:34,334 It's okay, Liv. It's okay. 177 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,258 I'm right here. 178 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,971 I promise. 179 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:46,823 Cars. 180 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:50,535 Cars! 181 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,301 It's nice here. 182 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:31,720 Peaceful. 183 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:36,975 Your mother loved nature. 184 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,229 I never made much time for it. 185 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:47,652 Maybe I should have. 186 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,451 She'd drag us on those hikes. Do you remember? 187 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:57,871 And get in the car and drive for too long, 188 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:02,834 trench through some god-awful path that was barely a path. 189 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:08,256 Trying to find some secret something she'd heard about somewhere. 190 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:12,177 Both of us complaining the whole time. 191 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,181 And then we'd get there. 192 00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:18,808 And she would always be right. 193 00:25:20,977 --> 00:25:22,145 It was always beautiful. 194 00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:26,441 And then we'd all go back home again. 195 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:32,614 I can feel her here, in all of this. 196 00:25:34,699 --> 00:25:36,868 Maybe that's what she was doing this whole time. 197 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,080 Looking for a place like this. 198 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,000 I hope she found it. 199 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:49,506 I thought… 200 00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:55,595 If I could find her… 201 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:02,811 If I could look her in the eyes. 202 00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:10,318 That's stupid. 203 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,780 None of it makes any sense. 204 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,784 It was a little impulsive, I'll give you that. 205 00:26:18,493 --> 00:26:22,330 But, then, you've always been a little impulsive. 206 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:25,875 Can't imagine where you got that from. 207 00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:32,882 Am I like her? 208 00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:41,683 Yeah. 209 00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:44,185 In your eyes, 210 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,355 in your smile. 211 00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:55,363 But most of you has nothing to do with her. 212 00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,826 You know why you became a lawyer? 213 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:03,204 Because I like fighting. 214 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,833 Because you're like answers. 215 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,294 Order. 216 00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:12,631 You didn't have much of that growing up. 217 00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:16,426 You crave a world that's black and white. 218 00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:20,388 But the world's not interested in what you want. 219 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,809 It's been chaos since before we got here. 220 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,021 And it'll be chaos after we're gone. 221 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,108 And if there's an order to any of this, 222 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,277 it's invisible to us. 223 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,404 So, what if you're like her? 224 00:27:38,073 --> 00:27:39,032 You're also like me. 225 00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,576 You stick around. 226 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:44,788 You're also like you. 227 00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:47,207 Determined. 228 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,710 Make different choices. 229 00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:01,888 -Hey, there's nothing wrong with you, Liv. 230 00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:04,474 You didn't do anything wrong. 231 00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:08,728 You were just a little girl. 232 00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:13,942 You're just… a little lost. 233 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:16,111 That's all. 234 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,279 And tired. 235 00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:23,118 Maybe you should rest a little while. 236 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,622 This looks like the perfect place to do that. 237 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,753 I wonder if I would have been ready… 238 00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:38,800 to be a mom. 239 00:28:41,344 --> 00:28:43,012 In my experience… 240 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:46,015 it's not something you prepare for. 241 00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:48,893 It's something you give over to. 242 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,356 You just jump in… 243 00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:56,276 and see where it takes you. 244 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,364 It's nice here. 245 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:04,993 I think I'll stay for a while. 246 00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,923 Sometimes, there's no answers. 247 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,093 Sometimes, there's just goodbye.