[playful music]
* *
[tapping]
- Whew.
[phone buzzing]
Ah, [chuckles] Paulo, my man.
- Look, I need a sermon.
Yeah, and the Bishop is coming, so it has to be really good.
- The Bishop in Clump on Easter Sunday?
- Uh-huh.
- Oh boy, buckle up, baby.
All right, hit me. What do you got so far?
- Nothing. I've got nothing.
- Ah, yes, writer's block.
That's going to happen sometimes.
Look, here's my advice to you, OK?
You dig down deep, you write from the heart,
and you just give him that personal Pow Paulo.
[splashing]
- Uh, no, no, no, wait a second.
Where are you?
- I am currently poolside bronzing,
'cause I took your advice, and I have a date.
Yes, with an actual woman. And she's beautiful.
She's got all the pieces and parts.
Armpit hair is a little longer than mine,
but I'm really very OK with it.
But I'm thinking about sending Charmaine
a picture of the two of us.
Thoughts.
- Why are you trying so hard to get her back?
- Because she's my soul mate. - She dumped you.
- Doesn't mean she's not my soulmate.
Buddy, two by two, just like on Noah's Ark.
We all have our other half-- two by two.
- Nah, you lost me.
- Just give a call if you need to get over the hump.
Ooh, speaking of hump,
I really hope my date doesn't want to.
I mean, I guess if I have to,
I'll just keep my clothes on like I did in college.
No, I'm not going to let it happen.
I'm not even entertaining the idea.
OK, let's talk soon. I love you. Bye-bye.
[lighthearted music]
- Bath bomb.
- You got her a bath bomb? - Yeah.
- Like what you got her last year?
- Yeah, she loves them. - No, she doesn't.
- She said she does.
- Look, we don't have a bath, mate.
- Ducklings.
We get her a couple of ducklings.
- How about you just-- you shut your mouth
for a couple of weeks, give us all a bit of peace and quiet?
- It's important to mark moments
with the people you love, mate.
You never know how many you'll have left.
[lighthearted music]
* *
- Yeah, sweetheart?
- Hi there.
My GPS has died.
Can you tell me where Clump is?
- Yeah, that way.
- Take the coastal route. Little bit longer,
but you can't put a measurement on beauty.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one, doll.
[lighthearted music]
* *
- Hey, pipsqueak, I need a sermon.
- You want me to write it?
- Yeah, you do the words. I'll do the magic.
And yadda, yadda, yadda. And, uh, it's Easter Sunday.
And my boss is coming.
So I guess it needs to have a little extra zing.
- All right, please never say "zing" again.
And this is not what the court had in mind
when they said community service.
- I think it's exactly what they had in mind.
You'll come up with something.
Oh, and um, it needs to be from the heart.
So...run with that.
[insects chirping]
- Oh come on, come on, come on.
Ah!
- This is Reverend Mackenzie.
Leave a message. [beep]
- You know, 19 years, 19 years,
I put up with wasted Sunday mornings
and gluten-free bread. And for what?
You won't even return my calls now?
Well, you know, you can try and avoid me all you want.
But you are signing these divorce papers,
even if I have to bring them to you myself.
[sniffles] [horn honks]
- Oh, you need a hand?
- Oh, hello there.
Look, I'm not sure. My cell's dropped out.
But I...I'm looking for the Clump church.
- Oh, there's no service on Saturdays.
But if you come back tomorrow,
the reverend is putting together
an incredible Easter Sunday sermon.
- Oh. [laughing]
No, I'm not looking for a service.
God, those things send me to sleep.
- Oh, right.
- I'm Reverend Mackenzie's wife.
- The reverend's good lady wife.
I...
I am Peter,
the President of the Clump Church Council.
It is an honor.
- If you could just direct me to the church?
- Nonsense, I'll take you there myself.
Follow me.
Oh, you must be eager to see your husband.
- Oh yes, darling, I am eager.
[cheery vocal music]
* *
- It's so good to meet you, Charmaine.
Is Charmaine French? - No.
- Oh, I must say it's such a relief
to finally see you here.
We didn't want to pry, but you must meet my wife Helen.
Helen would love to meet you.
- Peter.
- Oh no, allow me. I can just--
- I haven't seen my husband for some time.
- Oh, of course, yes, absolutely.
- Hello?
Mooch, you get out here now!
[knocking] Mooch, hello?
- Hello.
It can't be.
It's Charmaine, right?
[laughs] The reverend didn't tell me that you were coming.
- [laughs] I wanted to surprise him.
- Oh, I think he's gonna be surprised.
- Is he here? Who are you?
- No, I'm afraid that you just missed him.
He stepped out for a moment.
But as to your second question, I am his assistant.
- Oh, well, nice to meet you--
- Lewis is the name. Pleasure's all mine.
- Right, well...
Lewis, here's my cell number.
Can you call me when he gets back?
I know this sounds a bit odd, but don't get him to call.
Let's keep it a surprise.
- Oh, I wouldn't dream of letting you leave.
No, no, no, you're going to come into the kitchen
and we're going to wait for him there.
I'm going to make you some tea. Let me get your bags.
Everything's gonna be just fine--right in there.
[tea kettle whistling]
- So what is it that you do around here?
- I am a junior minister.
Sugar?
- No, thank you.
It's funny, Mackenzie never mentioned
that he was going to have an assistant.
- Oh, you know how busy he gets.
Here you are.
- Is that my husband's shirt?
- Oh...ha... it happened again.
They're always getting crossed up in the laundry.
It's--
- Right.
Where did you say he was again?
- Rev, do you want to read some of the sermon?
- Reverend?
You know, since Mackenzie's not here,
uh, I might just go for a walk on the beach.
- Charmaine, hey, hold up a second, all right?
Let's just talk. - Who are you?
Why are you pretending to be my husband?
- Look, this is all just a big misunderstanding, OK?
Let's go inside the church. I'll show you around.
It's really beautiful. - No, I'm going to the police
unless you tell me what's going on right now.
- I see now.
[laughing] Yeah, clearly, no one has told you.
- Told me what?
- About the inter-diocese reverend exchange program.
- The what?
- Well, no wonder you're confused.
I mean, no wonder she's confused.
Look, we'll go inside.
We'll have a chat. You can pull up a pew.
I promise, I will explain everything.
- I'm listening.
- OK, just follow me.
- This way?
- Yeah, yeah, just come on.
It's a really fantastic program.
It's bringing people together from around the country.
Who am I kidding? Around the world--am I right?
[thudding]
- Hey! - What--
what do you think you're doing?
I was handling it. - You weren't.
[banging on door]
- You let me out right now! [pounding]
- Great. What now?
- Need a hand, Officer?
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Oh, just seeing if you wanted to grab
dinner tonight at the bar. - I wish, I've, uh...
I'm swamped here.
I've got so much stuff to get through.
- Uh-huh.
You know, don't you?
- About the surprise party? No.
- Really?
I thought I had you this time.
- It's my job to know everything
that goes on in this town.
Don't worry, I'll act surprised.
[giggles]
[door rattles]
- Hey, come on, open the door.
- Please tell me that there is a second part to your plan.
- What do you think you're playing at?
- Hmm? - Open the door right now.
- Daisy, you have to think things through.
- I did think things through.
She was gonna go to the police, and now she can't.
[thudding, thumping]
- Stay here.
[thudding]
Damn it!
- I'm calling the police!
- OK, OK, OK.
I know that this doesn't look good.
It's really-- whoa, OK!
All right. - Where the hell is he?
- Maybe, maybe we could just, uh...
let's have a chat.
Hey, just--let's talk.
- He was desperate to come to Clump,
our personal paradise.
Where the hell is he?
- He took my money.
- What money?
- We met on the plane coming over here.
And then we had a drink at the hotel bar.
And next thing I know, he took everything,
disappears.
- You're telling me Mackenzie's a thief?
[laughs] Listen, my husband
took a vow of poverty. He's a man of God.
Is that a new car?
- Mm-hmm.
- All those years, I would have killed
for a nice dinner or a half decent pair of shoes,
and now he's driving a new car?
I'm going to kill him.
- Yeah, no, you could, you could.
Or we can go after him together,
take back the money,
and split it 50/50.
[intriguing music]
- How much are we talking?
- 100 grand. All the half decent shoes
that you could want.
- But how do we get it?
You said you don't know where he is.
- No, I don't.
But I do know how we can find him.
- All right, the most important thing to remember
is you have to get the address.
Yeah?
- Will you relax?
I got this.
[whistles]
- [exhales]
It's not like that bad, is it? Is it...
I'm fine.
Pop a little of this on.
Oh, [coughs]
[hacking] [phone rings]
Yello.
- Hello, darling.
It's me.
- Oh! Oh, no...
No, I'm not ready.
I'm not ready.
- Hello?
Hello?
- I'm sorry, who is this?
- It's me, Charm-- your wife?
- Ah yes, could you call back later?
I'm about to go to lunch on a date...
with a woman. Her name's Sandy.
OK, thanks, ciao. Gah!
[dial tone, coins clink]
- He's on a date. - Great.
- With Sandy? Who's Sandy?
- Um...
I think he might be playing hard to get.
- What?
- Yeah, no, he's got it into his head,
and I have no idea where he got this stupid idea,
but he thinks that if he makes you jealous,
then that is going to be the way to win you back.
So what you have to do is make him think it's working.
- Oh, no, no, no. - Yes, yes, Charmaine.
Think about the money.
Yeah?
That's what we're here for, right?
OK, good. Great.
- Hurry up, hurry up. [coins clinking]
- That was cool, right?
That was normal?
[phone chiming]
No. [stammers]
Why are you calling back?
[line ringing]
Look, by later, I meant could--you know,
could you call back later?
- It sounds like you're having quite the adventure, Mooch.
- Well, you know, it's all part of the new me,
you know, living on the edge, naturally tanning.
- Well, I'd love to meet this new Mackenzie.
And I've just landed in Australia, too.
So...why don't we meet up?
- Wait, you're here?
You came?
[light, quiet music]
* *
You know, I'm actually busy this weekend,
probably like the busiest I've ever been.
Maybe, maybe I can squeeze you in, but definitely,
definitely not before the weekend.
- Well, I guess if you're too busy,
I'll just go back to Chicago.
- Friday, 2:30 PM, bar, Royal Rosa Hotel.
- Well, honey, I'll see you then.
I can't wait. [chuckles]
[coins clink]
- Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes, yes, finally!
Gah! I mean, of course.
Of course he stayed in the same hotel.
He's an idiot.
Yes! - Sandy.
- Yes! - Who's called Sandy?
- Got everything? You've gone pee-pee?
We're about to drive halfway to Antarctica.
[knock on door]
- Daisy?
Daise?
- [laughing] Uh...
Hey, you.
- Hey. I'm just here to check on Daisy.
- Oh. - Wanted to see
how she was feeling
after the court case. - Yeah, she's fine.
- You really pulled through for her.
She doesn't have many people she can rely on.
Thank you for that.
- Yeah, sure, sure.
I mean, anytime.
Need anything else?
- [laughs] What's going on?
- Nothing.
- So can I come in?
- Look, now's really not a great time, um--
- Are we leaving?
- Piper, this is my wife,
Charmaine.
- Oh, hello.
- What can we do for you, Officer?
- You did come out from Chicago, then?
- I certainly did.
- Great, it's really nice to meet you, Charmaine.
I was just looking for Daisy.
So I'll let you guys get back to it.
Enjoy your day. - You too.
- Oh, join us for drinks later if you want, yeah?
Both of you?
- Great, we'd love to.
- Yeah, we'll see you there.
[lightly edgy music]
* *
- Can we go now?
- No.
- What?
- Yeah, no.
- Seriously?
- Very seriously. - Why?
- Because that invitation to drinks that you just accepted
is actually a party, her surprise party.
So now, I have to go, because she thinks
that it's drinks with her boyfriend.
But actually, the entire town is going to be there.
And I will be missed if I'm not,
and she will notice.
- I think she'll manage.
- No, she'll notice.
In and of itself, that's fine.
But then she comes by the manse the next day.
I'm not here, so she makes a phone call.
And all of a sudden, I'm a missing person.
The Australian police put my picture out.
And we are both screwed. Do you understand?
So I'm going to go to the party,
and I'm going to shake the hand
of every single person that is there,
and I'm gonna buy us some time.
That's what's going to happen, OK?
- Fine.
But I'm coming too.
It'd be strange if your wife didn't show up,
Reverend Mackenzie Boyd.
[dramatic chords]
* *
- Oh.
You scared me.
So how do you fit into this mess?
- I live here.
- You live here?
- Mack didn't tell you?
- No.
I guess you guys were too busy imprisoning me in a church.
- Well, we're a team, Mack and I.
- Are you really?
How old are you?
- 16.
How old are you?
- That's a fun age, 16.
It's all parties, boys,
and assisting in criminal activity.
- How are we getting rid of her?
- Don't worry about her. I'm handling it.
- How did she get on our side?
- Well, once I explained that I wasn't actually a murderer,
she was pretty reasonable.
God, this thing sucks.
- Are you going somewhere? - Yeah, Piper's party.
- With Chicago Barbie?
Are you sure that's a good idea?
- I said I'm handling it.
- All right.
So, um, tomorrow, 10:00 AM?
- What about it? - The service.
You'll be there on time, yeah?
- Yes, Daisy, I will be on time.
- Good.
You know, I've almost finished the sermon
if you want to have a read of it.
And you can just go-- - No, I got to go.
[mellow pop music]
[background chatter]
* *
- * You think I'm so predictable *
* Tell me what do you think I've done *
* Looks can be deceiving *
- Look, you keep your mouth shut, stick by my side,
and we'll be out of here no time.
- Oh, I'm not letting you out of my sight
until we have that money.
Besides, I can play married for an evening.
I did it for 19 years.
[chatter, music stops]
- Oh, great, everyone is staring at us.
- Good news travels fast in a small town.
- Ah, there they are, OK.
Hey, guys.
So sorry that we're late.
Happy birthday. You look lovely.
- Thanks.
- [coughs]
- Right, you guys have already met.
But, Aidan, this is my wife Charmaine.
- Nice to meet you. How you doing?
- So Charmaine, how are you finding Clump?
- Hot.
- Yeah, yeah, it's kind of permanent here.
So tell me, how long you two been married?
- 19 wonderful years.
- Yeah. - Can you believe it?
- No. - Wow, and how'd you guys meet?
- Vacation. - In college.
- We argue about this all the time.
- He always gets this wrong.
We first met in college.
It was the summer of 2003.
- Right.
- I was dating another guy, Tad.
He was a football player, very good looking.
Owen Wilson, but more muscular.
- And then he died.
- Oh God. - Yes, boat accident.
Mack did the funeral.
- Yeah, it was a very special service.
- Can you believe it? Picked me up at the funeral.
- And that is how we met. End of story. Fascinating.
Um, darling, do you mind if we have a word for a minute?
- Sure, honey. - Great.
- Nice to--yeah, OK.
- I need you.
- Oh right, yes, yes, of course.
- What'd you kill Ted for?
- You need to tone it down.
- Come on, I thought I was just playing along.
- What are you frowning about?
- He's not wearing a wedding ring.
- Why do you care?
- I don't care.
Of course I don't care.
- Of course you don't care.
[funky music playing]
* *
- Does that make sense to you?
- Not at all.
[laughter]
So weird.
- Are you all right with it?
- With what?
Charmaine?
- I thought you and he had a bit of a thing.
- Me and Mack?
[laughs]
No. [laughing] Nope.
To be honest, I reckon he's way more your type.
- My type?
- Yeah, clean cut, perfect,
with a bit of a hint of something interesting.
- What does that mean?
- Mystery. You like mystery.
- You think Aidan's a mystery?
- Piper, he organized this whole night
as a surprise for your birthday.
And you knew about it before the guests.
[laughter]
- * The storm came down on you *
* Just like it was the end *
* And then you hid and you covered your head *
* Face the rage and feel how thrilling it can be *
- [gasps] Is that his wife?
- Yeah.
- Reverend, I would love you to meet my wife, Helen.
- Hi.
- I have heard all about you.
- That can't be good.
- No. [laughs]
- Now, Reverend, about tomorrow,
how's the sermon coming along?
- Yeah, it's-- it's-- it's-- it's going great.
It's-- in fact, it might be my best one ever.
- Brilliant. - Yeah.
- I wonder if we may squeeze in the story
about Joseph and his coat of many colors.
The Bishop loves that one.
- You know what? I'll look into it.
- Hi, Peter, Helen. [giggles]
So sorry to interrupt. I just need to chat with Mack.
- About what?
- Jesus.
- [laughs]
No. Darling, that's our cue.
- No. - I need to touch that dress.
- OK, darling.
- Talk soon. - Yeah, we will.
- Oh, thank you for that.
- All in a day's work. Send you the invoice.
- Definitely do.
I'll drop it by the mill tomorrow.
Take it the strike's not going well, huh?
- The strike is going perfectly.
People are just starting to lose steam, that's all.
- Yeah, well how did the last mediation go?
- What do you mean?
- The last conversation that you had
with the mill's owners-- how did it go?
- * Control it so own it and feel *
- You do realize that you need to
have a conversation with them, right?
- I gave them our list of demands, take it or leave it.
- Uh, no, that's not exactly how negotiations work.
It's about give and take.
It's about compromise.
- Yeah, the compromise is that they pay us right
and we work for them.
I don't see how there's anything more to it than that.
- Right.
[energetic music]
- Your missus seems to be a hit.
- Yeah, she does, doesn't she?
[energetic music continues]
[indistinct singing]
* *
You know, I was always taught that, uh, hiding
from the guests at your own party was a big no-no.
- To be honest, Rev,
I'm not the most social of butterflies.
- Oh no, you got to be kidding me.
I saw you dancing. It was--
- Charmaine is not what I expected for you.
- Yeah, no.
Yeah.
Definitely would have been easier
if she stayed in Chicago.
Hey, um, listen, Charmaine and I--
- Piper!
- Better get back to the fam.
Aidan loves a speech.
[glass clinking]
- Oh, here she is.
Someone needs to look after mum. Harry?
- I'm working, sis. - Harry.
- Hey.
- Thank you, everyone.
Tonight is a very special night for a very special person--
Piper.
[cheers]
Now, most of you know Pipes is the law in this town.
And I'm pretty sure half of you still have
outstanding parking tickets. [scattered laughs]
It is a two-hour limit outside, and she will find you.
- I'm good at my job.
- Pipes, you are the most determined person I know.
And that's what makes you so great at your job.
Because the moment you get a hint of something important,
you just can't let it go.
Well, I think I finally get it.
I think-- I think I understand.
Because with you, I found something important.
- [quietly] What are you doing?
- And I just can't let it go.
So there's something that I wanted to ask you.
[gentle music]
- Whoo! - Whoo!
- Surprise.
[crowd awws]
- I can't believe he proposed.
So romantic.
You and Piper seem close.
- Not really.
- Yeah, right.
And Mackenzie didn't have a ring.
Just blurted it out over dinner.
Didn't even get down on one knee.
- Yeah, well, spontaneous can be romantic.
- He had ketchup on his face.
Should have known then he was completely useless.
- You were married to him for 19 years.
He couldn't have been all bad.
- [scoffs]
He used to be something.
You know, he had charisma,
energy.
People...people listened.
He was next in line for the Chicago Cathedral,
going to be the first preacher there under 30,
and I was going to be right beside him--
the functions, the openings, just all of it.
And then he got passed over time after time,
and it just...
It ate away at him.
And then I met Greg. So...[small laugh].
I can only imagine what Mackenzie's doing right now.
- Probably eating caviar
and watching Cirque Du Soleil or something like that.
- At this rate, I'm surprised he hasn't burnt through
100,000 grand already.
- Yeah.
[lightly edgy music]
All right, bedtime.
- Let's have another drink.
- We have to be up early. - Just one more drink.
Come on, relax.
Drink away a broken heart.
- Yeah.
- Whatcha got here?
Oh! Ha!
Well, from tomorrow, we only drink bubbles
and stay in a five-star suites.
Pure luxury.
To us.
[clink]
- Cheers.
- And 100 grand.
Drink up.
- I thought for sure you had found the ring.
- Nope. - No?
- No clue. - [laughs]
- Did you have to do it in front of everyone?
- Well, felt like the perfect moment,
celebrating you in front of everyone we love.
Couldn't think of a better way.
If you had a different proposal in mind, just tell me,
and we can do it again.
I will happily propose to you every day in different ways
for the rest of our lives.
- I think one proposal is enough.
- Just one? - Yeah.
- Yeah?
And the wedding?
- Obviously. - [laughs]
[gentle music]
- [breathing heavily]
- All right, Pete, slow and steady wins the race.
OK.
- [groans]
- Keep walking, Frankie. Just keep walking.
Your excellency, welcome to Clump.
- Morning, Peter.
Why does this building look distinctly like
a hardware store and not a church?
- Coffee first, Bishop? Best coffee in the far North.
You won't regret it.
I think.
- OK, that is actually quite good.
- Ah. Bishop, I think you'll be truly impressed
with how things are going.
- Impressed by which part exactly?
Your shameful lack of attendance
or your inability to keep your reverend breathing?
- We've had some longevity issues.
But that is in the past.
I truly believe Reverend Mackenzie
is a start of a new chapter for all of us.
- Yes, well, let's just see, shall we?
This way?
- One sec.
Mmm.
[gulps] Ah.
- [chuckles] - Right, let's go.
- Let's go.
Nice wheels, your excellency.
- It's a hire car, Peter.
- [snorts]
Oh, oh shit.
Charmaine, hey, we got to go.
[playful music]
No, goddammit, no!
- He really is an excellent reverend.
He's charismatic. He's eloquent.
He's naked.
He--perhaps we should go inside.
- Is that him? - Yeah. I think, yeah.
- Come on.
- Where is he going? - I don't-- to--
[car starts] - Ah!
* *
- Hey, sleepyhead. - Hey, we had a deal.
- We did, for 100 grand.
But it's not 100,000 grand, is it Mack?
A new car, five-star hotels--
that stuff doesn't come from 100 grand.
Fine, don't tell me.
I'll find out when I get there.
- OK, you figured it out. It's more.
It's a lot more. So you stay where you are.
I will come and meet you, and I will explain everything.
- Or I'll keep driving and you go back to Clump.
- Why would I do that?
- Because one phone call from me,
and you'll be in handcuffs on a plane back to Chicago.
- All right, it's a good try.
But I'm going to be long gone by the time
the police get to Clump.
- Oh, you will.
But Daisy won't.
- What did you say?
- I know you care about that stupid kid.
I saw.
What is the charge for aiding and abetting these days?
- Daisy's got nothing to do with this.
- Got a good thing going there, Mack.
Nice little life in a nice little town.
So why don't you turn around and go back to it,
and I promise to never say a word to anyone?
Bye-bye.
[click]
[somber music]
* *
- [sighs]
[scoffs]
- [coughs]
- But, what--
- [coughs]
- That's...Margaret.
She'll be back.
- [sighs] Well, I think I've seen enough.
Once again, it appears that your church has no reverend.
- Please, he'll be here. Just wait a little longer.
- I'm sorry, Peter.
The church is being sold.
[somber music]
* *
- You've missed it. You've completely missed it.
Do you have any idea what you've done?
- I don't care, Peter.
- The church is going to be shut down.
Do you understand? It's over.
They're going to sell it.
They're going to sell the church.
- I don't give a damn about the church, Peter!
- [mutters]
- Peter.
- This is Brian Mills. Now it's your turn to talk.
- Mackenzie, call me back. You are in serious danger.
Damn it.
Ugh.
- Everything OK, Rev?
- Yeah, peachy keen.
- How's the view?
- All right.
Look, I don't know what it is you want from me,
but if it's life advice,
I'm sorry, I'm fresh out.
- Oh, Peter was right.
You are not like the other reverends.
- How is it that you two are married
and I never see you in church?
- I don't get out much.
- Oh?
- Multiple sclerosis.
I have good days and--
you know.
Plus, I think I hit the dance floor a bit hard last night.
MS is a progressive disease.
Since my diagnosis, Peter has become obsessed
with saving the church.
I think he's gotten it into his head
that if he does something for God,
then God won't let anything bad happen.
- He knows that's crazy, right?
- [laughs] I know.
I've tried talking to him.
But you try talking someone out of their faith.
- Not really in the habit.
- Peter prayed to God for a savior,
someone who would come to town and save the church.
And he can't work out why God sent him you.
[gentle music]
* *
- Damn it.
Oh, Bishop, thank goodness.
- Forget it, Reverend, I'm leaving.
If it wasn't for the best coffee in the Southern
hemisphere, I would already be well down the highway
with such modern luxuries as phone calls
and an FM radio signal.
- No, I understand that, but please, please,
I am so sorry about the service, I really am.
But I-I can explain. There's a really good reason.
It's my wife.
- What about your wife?
- She--
She left me this morning,
just like that after-- - Oh...
- I mean, she-- just packed up her bags
and took off after... 19 years.
- Well, I'm very sorry to hear that.
Um, yeah, marriage can be complicated.
- Yeah, yeah, thank you.
- Still, you missed the service,
the Easter Sunday service, and I can't exactly
stick around here for another week, can I?
- No, I mean, you wouldn't want to.
But I have an even better solution, OK?
How about a replacement service?
- Like when?
- Half an hour?
- No, I've got to be in Cairns by 3:00.
- Oh look, you give me the keys to this baby,
and I will have you there by 2:30.
This is really nice, by the way--
- It's a hire car, and I got upgraded.
- OK, look. I'll sweeten the deal.
I will have a coffee waiting for you in the pew.
- Fine.
- Thank you,
Your Highness--
uh, Holiness.
Ah, snake! No, just a hose.
- And it's Your Excellency.
[lighthearted music]
* *
[door opens, closes]
- Great, I'd like to thank everybody
for coming, well, again.
Let's get this party started, huh?
Yeah, OK.
Yeah.
So God made the universe
in seven days, right?
Right, right.
And for the first five days, he created the Earth.
He created light and dark,
the trees, and...
crocodiles.
And on the sixth day...
Well, he made a mistake.
He made people.
[laughs]
Yeah, yeah, right?
Yeah, he made us.
And, well, people are--
well, they're basically assholes.
I mean, you know it. I know it.
God certainly knows it. People suck.
They let you down. They lie to your face.
They stab you in the back, even when you had a deal with them.
People suck.
So begs the question, um...
Why make us?
Why create something that is so...messy?
But maybe the point wasn't to create a perfect being.
Maybe the mistakes were built into the design
in the first place.
Because we all make them, right?
I mean, every last one of us.
So if we are all flawed...
then maybe understanding the flaws in ourselves
allows us to look past the flaws in others.
Yeah, maybe the mistakes are the whole point,
because they allow us to forgive.
And I think that ability to forgive
is what makes this whole messy thing work.
[gentle music]
* *
- Hey, folks, hope you enjoyed the sermon.
Now, I hear jingling in those pockets.
Don't be shy.
And remember that all your donations are tax deductible.
So thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
- Reverend.
- Peter.
- That was--
[coins clink]
- Thank you, Peter.
- Reverend Mackenzie.
- Your Excellency.
- That was an interesting sermon you gave in there.
- Was it? - Mm.
You know, you're not at all what I was expecting.
I like you. You got gusto.
But I'm afraid that gusto won't be enough to save this place.
I'm sure you've heard the diocese
intends to close the church. - Yeah, I heard that news.
I'm glad you brought it up, Bishop.
This community needs its church--am I right?
Look, it's much more than a building.
It's a beacon of hope for--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, just save your sermons for the service.
Do you know how much it costs to keep this place running?
Between your salary, and the gardens,
and whatever it is that you do around here--what?
- Is this not the right time to ask for a raise?
- We've been made a very generous offer on the land,
and the diocese is going to take it.
Now, don't worry, we'll move you somewhere else.
I'm sure that you'd prefer to live in a big city anyway.
- Yeah, no, Bishop, just one question.
Um, when exactly does this offer expire?
- In a few weeks. - Oh, that's great then.
Just give me until then to get the numbers up.
What do you say?
- [laughs] You're very charismatic, I get it.
But I'm sorry, it's just not realistic.
- Bishop, just one more thing.
You know, you were talking, and it
got me thinking, you know, about a story,
you know, about Joseph and his coat of many colors.
He had an impossible dream.
No one believed in him either, but...
- Hmm.
You know, I wasn't intending on ever
coming back to this place.
There's something about you.
You remind me of another unorthodox rebel
with big ideas.
- Jesus.
- Oh, yes, yes, right, of course.
- So I'll give you until the offer expires
to prove to me that this place is worth saving.
But that means more people in those pews.
- Understood. - Right.
You're going to need a miracle.
- [chuckles] - See ya.
- Joseph's story-- that was good.
- You're welcome, Peter.
- [softly] Yes!
[quiet music]
* *
- Congratulations. You have everyone fooled.
- Yeah, yeah, I was leaving.
- Why did you come back? - I had business to attend to.
I mean, there's the chop-chop...
- Stop lying to me.
You've been more honest with Charmaine in four hours
than you've been to me in four weeks.
Why are you here, Mack?
The truth.
That's what I thought.
[waves crashing]
- I had $1.6 million stolen from me,
and I thought that I could get it back.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I got robbed by a freshly divorced reverend.
It's not exactly the proudest moment of my life.
That's it, Daisy.
That's the truth.
Are we good?
- How do I know you're not just going to leave again?
- Of course I'm going to leave.
What, did you think that I was going to stick around here
and play reverend for the rest of my life?
- No. - No.
No, I am leaving, Daisy, the first chance that I get.
And you know what? You should too.
You got bigger plans than this place, right?
- Paris. - Yeah.
I can help you get out of here.
But for that to happen,
I need this to stay between us.
No one can know about this ever, not even Cam.
You understand me?
- OK.
[birds chirping]
[music intensifies]
* *
[cheery vocal music]
* *