1
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[mysterious music playing]
2
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:12,625
Late-night TV.
3
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:16,125
Images and voices in the dark.
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00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:17,416
In our head.
5
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,791
An electronic cabinet of curiosities,
6
00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:24,625
blurring the line between what is outside
and what is inside.
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00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,541
What we are,
and what we are told we should be.
8
00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:32,625
Perfection is but a toll-free number away,
9
00:00:33,125 --> 00:00:37,583
and this cabinet
is controlled by a magic wand
10
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made of cheap plastic and numbers.
11
00:00:42,416 --> 00:00:46,458
It fits right in your hand,
and it is hard to let go.
12
00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:49,875
Our story today is "The Outside,"
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and its director, Ana Lily Amirpour.
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[music builds to sweeping string melody]
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["Ode To Joy" playing]
16
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[bird caws]
17
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[jazzy music plays on radio]
18
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["Ode To Joy" continues]
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[beeping]
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[sizzling]
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-[music halts]
[TV] Ho-ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
22
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Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
23
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Ho-ho-ho!
24
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Oh! Oh.
25
00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:26,291
[man] I love the kit,
because it's just a fat, juicy steak
26
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,083
that cooks up beautifully on the grill,
27
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:32,833
and you can marinate it
or use a classic Santa Maria rub--
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00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:34,833
…common in women ages 65 and up.
29
00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:37,708
Change in appetite, hand tremors,
dry mouth, increased thirst,
30
00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:40,916
increased urination,
and lots of sexual urges common--
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00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,125
[man] If you dare
to discover your destiny,
32
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call 1-900-860-all ones now,
33
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,500
as noted author and numerologist
Jean Simpson
34
00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:50,500
reveals the hidden meaning of the tarot.
35
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[woman] Your mind holds limitless powers.
36
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,750
You're the right person at the right place
at the right time…
37
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-[thud]
-[woman] …doing the right thing.
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Call now! Romance is in the stars.
39
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,875
[man] You'll never know
unless you call now.
40
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:05,000
Call 1-900-860-1111 now…
41
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[volume reduces]
42
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[metal clanks]
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[breathes heavily]
44
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[thudding]
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[creaking and thudding]
46
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[low rumbling]
47
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:51,458
Did you see anyone?
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[thudding]
49
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[door slams]
50
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,583
[door creaks]
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00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:28,125
[dial tone]
52
00:05:28,625 --> 00:05:30,625
[dial-pad tones beep]
53
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,500
[line rings]
54
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[click]
55
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Glen Ellyn Police Department,
this is Officer Chapman.
56
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,875
Keith, there was that noise again.
57
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:41,666
What are you doing up, Stace?
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00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,875
-What if someone's in the house?
-There's no one in the house.
59
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:48,125
Can you say the thing?
60
00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:50,041
The house makes noise at night.
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00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:51,833
It's just an old house.
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And every time there's a noise,
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has there ever been a stranger inside?
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Never.
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Never.
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00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:03,000
Okay.
67
00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:06,291
Get some sleep, hon, okay?
68
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:07,916
All right, see you in the morning.
69
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,916
What if this time
there is someone in the house? What if--
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00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,916
[jaunty plucked string music playing]
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00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:17,083
[distant bird caws]
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[unsettling string music playing]
73
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[woman] I don't get it.
74
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:26,791
Twenty-five grand on liposuction,
she's still eating donuts.
75
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:29,375
I mean, hello?
It's one or the other, sweetheart.
76
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,958
You know her husband
is fucking that Nancy girl, right?
77
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,583
Mm, well, he always stares at my tits
when he comes in here,
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00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:36,000
so I am not surprised.
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00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,208
Nancy who?
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You know Nancy,
that little whore with the ass implants.
81
00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:42,833
-So sad.
-Mmm.
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00:06:42,916 --> 00:06:45,500
-She's on Xanax 24/7 now.
-I'm sure.
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00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:48,500
She can't even keep her eyes open,
and that's not the worst part.
84
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,583
He left her for a teenager
that he met on a cruise.
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-Oh my God, scumbag!
-Mm-hmm.
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-A masseuse.
-Yeah. Can you imagine?
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[sighs] When Peter leaves me,
I'm gonna cut off his balls.
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[woman 1] Oh!
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I'm gonna take the house,
half his retirement,
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and he is gonna be eating
frozen dinners and Viagra
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00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,666
trying to keep up with his new girlfriend.
92
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,416
-Hey, ladies.
-Oh hey, Cassidy!
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Hi, Cassidy.
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00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:11,708
Hey.
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Yes.
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Did you guys see that?
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She always looks at my tits!
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I think she's a lesbian.
99
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,291
-I don't mind. I mean, I have great tits.
-You do.
100
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I mean, you really do.
101
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-They look amazing, honey.
-They're perky.
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00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,000
[woman 2] Yes!
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I was at the Jensens' party,
and you know, Sam, he hit on me.
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-[woman 3] Come on!
-[woman 1] Mm-hmm!
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00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,125
Well, he had a few martinis,
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he unzipped his pants, and he showed me.
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[chuckles]
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Yes.
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00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:45,541
[tense, plodding string music playing]
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[chit-chat continues indistinctly]
111
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[cream squelches]
112
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Hey, Stacey.
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Oh, hey.
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-I didn't know you were still here.
-Yeah, can't forget this.
115
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Here. Last pick.
116
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Last pick?
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Secret Santa.
118
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For Gina's party tomorrow?
You're the last pick.
119
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Oh.
120
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,791
This one's for you, Stacey.
121
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-It's for me?
-Mm-hmm.
122
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:26,541
Okay. [chuckles]
123
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Well, here we go. [chuckles]
124
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Okay. I'll see you at the party.
125
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,708
And, uh, don't work too late, okay?
126
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,416
Will do.
127
00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:39,166
See you at the party!
128
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["Organ Fugue BWV 542"
by the Swingle Singers playing]
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♪ Ba-da-da-da-da ♪
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♪ Da da-da-da-da-da ♪
131
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♪ Ba-da-da-da-da ♪
132
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♪ Da da-ba da-ba da-ba da-ba ♪
133
00:08:48,916 --> 00:08:50,500
♪ Ba-da da-ba-da-ba da ♪
134
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,625
♪ Ba-da da… ♪
135
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[quacking]
136
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[gunshot]
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[song continues]
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[squelches]
139
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[squelches]
140
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,125
[hairdryer whirs]
141
00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,833
[song fades out, echoes]
142
00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:06,916
-Hey, hon.
-Hey.
143
00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:12,000
Guess who got invited
to a Secret Santa at Gina Kapov's house?
144
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:12,958
Gina?
145
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,541
Uh…
146
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:21,416
-She's the one with the crazy dog?
-Yeah, but… it's Gina Kapov.
147
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:27,291
-I thought you hated those women.
-Hated? What are you talking about?
148
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:28,208
Well…
149
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:31,666
I mean, you've been
working there a long time,
150
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,416
and they just now invite you to a party?
Seems rude.
151
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,833
It's just women, you know?
152
00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:38,875
Takes a while for certain women
to invite someone like me.
153
00:10:38,958 --> 00:10:41,458
Oh, what do you mean, "someone like you"?
154
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,958
Eh, you know, I'm just me.
155
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:44,541
I don't match.
156
00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:46,041
Yeah.
157
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:50,666
And thank God you don't, Stace.
158
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,416
Hey, listen to me.
159
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,125
It's different now.
160
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,458
She invited me to her Secret Santa,
161
00:10:56,541 --> 00:10:58,666
and I'm just dying
to see the inside of her house.
162
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:02,000
I bet it's magnificent.
I bet it's like a catalog.
163
00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:04,625
I mean, her whole life is like a catalog.
164
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:08,791
Um, she's got the most beautiful skin,
and her hair is always so shiny,
165
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:12,416
and she could walk into a room
and make friends with anyone, you know?
166
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:14,250
Imagine that. [chuckles]
167
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:19,250
You walked into a room
and made friends with me, didn't cha?
168
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:30,041
-Yeah, look at him, huh?
-[beeping]
169
00:11:30,541 --> 00:11:31,500
He's a beaut.
170
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,333
Mm-hmm.
171
00:11:35,458 --> 00:11:36,416
[Keith] You hungry?
172
00:11:37,208 --> 00:11:39,458
I'm gonna eat the rest of these wings.
173
00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:40,375
Poker's on.
174
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,166
No, I gotta finish him.
175
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,541
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell… ♪
176
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,458
Okay.
177
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:48,833
[TV] Three clubs out there.
178
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:52,666
♪ Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and… ♪
179
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:56,583
[TV] The turn card is the three of clubs.
That gives Martini the gutshot.
180
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:59,666
[singing along with radio]
♪ In the frosty air ♪
181
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:04,000
♪ What a bright time
It's the right time ♪
182
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:07,666
♪ To rock the night away ♪
183
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:12,666
♪ Jingle bell time is a swell time ♪
184
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:16,333
♪ To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh ♪
185
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,416
♪ Giddy-up jingle horse… ♪
186
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,750
[doorbell chimes a tune]
187
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,916
[dog barks]
188
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000
[dog continues barking]
189
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:35,916
[Gina] Delilah! Delilah!
190
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,916
No, no. No, no, no, no! No, no, no!
191
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,375
Stop it. You're being…
192
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,875
Stop, stop, stop it!
193
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:43,125
Oh, I know, it is exciting, okay. It's…
194
00:12:43,708 --> 00:12:46,375
Come on in, come on in.
She's never like this. I'm so sorry.
195
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:48,541
You are going to the basement. Come on!
196
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:50,375
-But then…
-Mm.
197
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:51,875
…he pulls his pants down
198
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:55,958
and whips out this huge dick.
199
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:58,625
-[women chuckling]
-And we are talking huge.
200
00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:00,000
-How huge?
-I mean, this is huge.
201
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,083
How huge?
202
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:03,875
I might end up in the emergency room.
203
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:07,416
And that is the upside
of getting divorced.
204
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:11,625
Getting away from that boring little dick
I was married to.
205
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,583
[laughter]
206
00:13:13,666 --> 00:13:16,041
-Now cheers to that.
-Yes indeed.
207
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,833
-Cheers.
-Yay.
208
00:13:18,916 --> 00:13:19,916
Cheers.
209
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,583
[laughter]
210
00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:22,875
Mmm!
211
00:13:22,958 --> 00:13:25,916
Well, ever since Peter
started taking those antidepressants,
212
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,166
his dick is like a wet spaghetti noodle.
213
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,958
-Oh no.
-Yeah, he can't even get it in.
214
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:35,000
Ugh, that is the worst!
Spaghetti-noodle dick is absolutely…
215
00:13:35,083 --> 00:13:36,375
-Oh, it's tragic.
-…the worst.
216
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:38,083
Yeah. Well, he can't get hard,
217
00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:40,875
so he just has me
put the vibrator up his ass.
218
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:43,250
You put it in his… Like, in his…
219
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,291
In his ass.
220
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:47,083
-And he likes it?
-[Gina] Of course he likes it, Lisa.
221
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:48,666
I mean, they all do.
222
00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:50,250
Wouldn't let my husband near mine.
Mm-mm.
223
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,291
Well, Peter's obsessed with mine.
224
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,791
Well, I'm obsessed
with my vibrator, too, so…
225
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,875
Yeah, well, I only wish
I found mine in my twenties. [chuckles]
226
00:13:57,958 --> 00:13:59,750
That and fillers. Am I right?
227
00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:00,791
[Lisa] Oh, preach!
228
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:03,458
Oh my God, that filler look
is so hot right now.
229
00:14:03,541 --> 00:14:07,500
Yeah, Gina, your skin looks amazing.
You're doing something new. What is it?
230
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,375
Oh, that's so sweet. [chuckles]
231
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,166
Okay, you all need
to see Dr. Ramesh. Really.
232
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:17,791
He's got these new Ruboderm fillers,
and it's like… a baby's butt.
233
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:20,083
-[Lisa] Right on.
-I love fillers. Yeah.
234
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:24,166
Yeah, I'm gonna have my facelift,
and then I am gonna file for divorce.
235
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:27,250
The thing to do
is get, like, a mini facelift,
236
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,958
or like a planar facelift.
237
00:14:29,041 --> 00:14:30,875
So that is when they go in under the skin,
238
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:33,000
and they take the tissue
right close to the muscle,
239
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,625
and they just pull it tight like this.
240
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,750
[Gina] So good.
241
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,500
-It's 25,000, right?
-[Lisa] 25,000.
242
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:40,041
-25,000?
-I'm on the waitlist.
243
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,125
-You're on the waitlist?
-Yeah, I'm on the waitlist.
244
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,708
I'm gonna be like… Yeah.
245
00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:48,875
Anyway, ladies, it is time
for our not-so-Secret Santa!
246
00:14:48,958 --> 00:14:50,333
[all cheer excitedly]
247
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:51,458
[screams]
248
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:52,916
Sit, sit, sit. Everybody sit.
249
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,333
Sit, sit!
250
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:56,458
I thought it was a…
I thought it was a Secret Santa.
251
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:58,625
-[Cassidy] I don't know.
-[women whoop]
252
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,500
-I thought it was a Secret Santa.
-No, it's not.
253
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,541
[Gina] Okay,
I know what you all wanted, so Jill.
254
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,541
-[Jill] Thank you!
-It's not a secret?
255
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:07,833
[Jill] Thank you.
256
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,541
I mean, we already know
what everybody wants, so…
257
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:12,583
-Kathy.
-Thank you. Thank you.
258
00:15:12,666 --> 00:15:14,750
Are we excited? So, Jill…
259
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:16,500
Thank you. Thank you.
260
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,541
-Yes, and Cassidy.
-Thank you.
261
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:23,875
Oh, you're welcome,
and this one's for Lisa.
262
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,000
Love you.
263
00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:27,291
Oh my gosh, look at this wrapping!
264
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:29,291
And this one's for you, Stacey.
265
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,625
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
266
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:32,708
Thanks, Gina.
267
00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:34,375
["Lui E Lei" by Perio Umiliani playing]
268
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:36,208
'Kay. Open them, open 'em already!
269
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:37,500
[women squeal]
270
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:41,625
[laughs]
271
00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:45,458
-Oh my goodness, I love this stuff.
-Oh, no.
272
00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:46,708
[excited laughter]
273
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,166
You're welcome!
274
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,750
-[woman 1] Gina!
-[woman 2] Thank you!
275
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,500
[Kathy] Oh! You found it!
276
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:56,166
-[Jill] Have you tried this before?
-[Kathy] No. I've seen the commercials…
277
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:57,916
I love this.
278
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,291
-Oh, okay.
-Amazing.
279
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,375
-It's that…
-[both] Alo Glo.
280
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:03,791
[laughs]
281
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,083
Yeah, yeah, I know.
282
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,708
Anyway, it's so expensive,
and you can't get it anywhere,
283
00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,833
so… you're welcome, everybody!
284
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:11,791
[Kathy] …having an orgasm.
285
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,541
So beautiful, I know.
It's so incredible. I know.
286
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,583
[Stacey] This one's for you, Gina.
287
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:20,958
Oh!
288
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:22,750
[clears throat]
289
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:23,833
-That is huge.
-Wow.
290
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,791
That is huge. I know all about the huge.
291
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,166
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
292
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,666
-It's all about the huge.
-What is in the huge box?
293
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:30,583
Okay.
294
00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:34,791
[women chanting]
Open it, open it, open it!
295
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:37,166
Open it, open it!
296
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,083
[excited giggling]
297
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,250
-Open it!
-Okay! [chuckles]
298
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,458
[inhales deeply] I guess I'll open it!
299
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:47,125
Oh, what is it in here?
300
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:48,791
Oh, I don't…
301
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,041
I don't quite know what to, um…
302
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,750
-…say or…
-Hey, I'll help ya.
303
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,791
-He's not gonna hurt ya.
-…do.
304
00:16:58,958 --> 00:17:00,250
-[Gina clears her throat]
-[gasps]
305
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:02,375
-Is it real?
-Oh yeah, it's real.
306
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:04,208
-Here.
-[exhales]
307
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:07,041
-You killed this thing?
-Well, yeah, I shot him.
308
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:10,541
And then I skinned him, and I, you know,
took out his insides so he wouldn't rot,
309
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,000
and then, you know,
you just wash 'em up real good,
310
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:15,541
and then, you know, I sewed him back up.
311
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:19,291
Oh, but the insides
are just Styrofoam and some wires.
312
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:22,875
That's really… Oh, and the eyes
are really cool glass beads.
313
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:24,583
Right. Okay.
314
00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,250
You can love him forever.
315
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,458
It's… Okay.
316
00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:29,541
Okay. [laughs softly] Um…
317
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:31,250
[tuts]
318
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,958
-Thank you, Stacey.
-You're welcome.
319
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,375
[tuts, inhales]
320
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:39,666
I think I'm just gonna put him
right back here in his… his house,
321
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:40,625
and cover him up.
322
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,708
-[softly] Oh my God, that's disgusting.
-Mm.
323
00:17:42,791 --> 00:17:45,750
[Gina clears her throat] Just… get him
out of the way a little. [chuckles]
324
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:49,666
-[Gina] Stick him a bit out of the way.
-[Kathy] That's a good idea, G.
325
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:50,916
[Gina] Um…
326
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,625
-Unusual.
-[whispers] Wow, that's very unusual.
327
00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:57,416
How about that glow, ladies?
328
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,166
-[cheering]
-[Gina] I mean, come on!
329
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:02,541
It's so expensive,
and they rarely have it in stock.
330
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:05,041
-[Jill] You can't get it anywhere.
-[Gina] I know!
331
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,666
-[Kathy] Where did you get it?
-[Gina] I'm not telling! I am…
332
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:10,583
["Fugue A La Gigue"
by The Swingle Singers playing]
333
00:18:11,166 --> 00:18:12,541
♪ Ba-ba-da ba-ba-ba-da-da ♪
334
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,500
♪ Ba-ba ba-dum… ♪
335
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,041
It's kinda scientific.
336
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:16,500
[song continues]
337
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:18,583
[women continue chattering]
338
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,875
[Gina] The deeper you rub it…
339
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:24,666
[cream squelches]
340
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:26,375
[Cassidy] Oh, wow, okay.
341
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,708
[Kathy] Do you feel that?
342
00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:33,708
[Kathy] Amazing.
343
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,458
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
344
00:18:38,916 --> 00:18:40,958
Wow. Wow.
345
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,166
So soothing!
346
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:07,416
You feel that?
347
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,541
Yeah, I feel it. It's really warm.
348
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:11,875
Oh shit.
349
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,541
S… Stacey, your… your face.
350
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:15,750
-What?
-[Gina gasps]
351
00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,333
-Oh.
-[Stacey] It's… It's… It's warm.
352
00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:19,750
Yeah, no, it's red.
353
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,250
-Your skin is red.
-Oh my God.
354
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,875
-What?
-[Cassidy] Your skin is red.
355
00:19:22,958 --> 00:19:26,208
-It's red?
-[Kathy] It's really red. It's gross.
356
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,458
-[Lisa] Yeah.
-It's bad?
357
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,000
-Yeah.
-It's not good.
358
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:30,916
-It's bad. It's angry.
-It's pretty bad.
359
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,166
Oh my God.
360
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,125
-[Stacey] Is it…
-Like a rash.
361
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,000
[dramatic stinger]
362
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:39,041
Thanks for the ice pack.
I'll bring it to the bank.
363
00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:40,083
[Gina] Oh, no.
364
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:41,583
No, no, no. You keep it.
365
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:44,916
Sorry I ruined everything.
366
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,791
[Gina] Really, you didn't. It… It's fine.
367
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:51,916
Look, it's so cold. Go home.
368
00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,541
[disconcerting music playing]
369
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,333
Merry Chris… tmas.
370
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,875
I think you're allergic, hon.
371
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:16,416
Of course I have to be allergic
to the best lotion in the world.
372
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,291
If it was the best lotion in the world,
373
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:20,791
it wouldn't do that to your face now,
would it?
374
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,708
It doesn't do this to anybody else's face.
375
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,166
Well, you're sensitive.
376
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,708
You have sensitive skin, Stace.
377
00:20:29,583 --> 00:20:33,416
You remember that lavender perfume
you wanted for Christmas last year?
378
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,791
The one that made your neck all splotchy.
379
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:39,041
It's just me.
380
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:40,750
I have a bad face.
381
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,833
A stupid, ugly, bad face.
382
00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:45,375
'Ey.
383
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,166
Enough o' that.
384
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,541
[plucky string music playing]
385
00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:55,833
[slurps]
386
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:01,791
[snoring]
387
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,541
[snoring continues]
388
00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,666
[singers drone eerie notes]
389
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,083
[cream squelches]
390
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:02,083
[mysterious string music playing]
391
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,625
[eerie notes continue]
392
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,041
-[man 1 on TV] Morning, girl.
[cow moos]
393
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,250
[man] Ah, look at me.
394
00:22:20,041 --> 00:22:22,791
[man 2] The Zippo Hand Warmer. Be--
395
00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:25,833
[cheering on TV]
396
00:22:25,916 --> 00:22:28,416
[man 3]
You don't have to go under the knife
397
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:29,875
to achieve perfection.
398
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,291
Just use Alo Glo.
399
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:38,083
Transform yourself
from ugly duckling to stunning swan,
400
00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:41,250
starting at just 199.99.
401
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:43,416
Alo Glo can fix it all.
402
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,041
Call the number on your screen now.
403
00:22:46,125 --> 00:22:52,000
Alo Glo is the only skincare product
that transforms your body, mind, and soul.
404
00:22:52,083 --> 00:22:54,458
Whether you want porcelain skin,
405
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:57,666
you want to turn heads,
you want to fit in,
406
00:22:58,416 --> 00:23:02,958
or just make sure those ladies at the bank
never laugh at you again.
407
00:23:04,625 --> 00:23:06,250
You know how they look at you.
408
00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:09,458
Or should I say,
how they don't look at you.
409
00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:11,416
Let's fix it.
410
00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:15,541
What the heck is happening?
411
00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:18,500
Come on, Stacey.
412
00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:22,708
Isn't this what you've always wanted?
413
00:23:24,125 --> 00:23:28,333
Why be the odd duck out
when you can join the flock?
414
00:23:28,416 --> 00:23:31,083
Call the number on your screen now.
415
00:23:31,791 --> 00:23:34,125
-[woman on TV] Side effects may include…
-This is crazy.
416
00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:38,416
…change of mood, stiff joints,
hallucinations, fear of intimacy,
417
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:42,750
internal emptiness, lack of ambition,
lack of individualization,
418
00:23:42,833 --> 00:23:44,666
lack of independent thought and opinion.
419
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:46,833
-You may experience…
-[chuckling] What is this?
420
00:23:46,916 --> 00:23:49,125
[woman] …activities
previously considered pleasurable.
421
00:23:49,208 --> 00:23:50,875
But it's all worth it.
422
00:23:50,958 --> 00:23:52,500
[giggles] This is so stupid!
423
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:54,833
What is this?
424
00:23:56,041 --> 00:23:58,125
What's so funny, Stacey?
425
00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:01,250
No, I… I'm not talking to the TV.
426
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,750
You're not talking to a TV.
You're talking to me.
427
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:11,458
I can give you the brand-new you,
and that's not all.
428
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,041
I can give you peace of mind.
429
00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:16,250
I can get you a seat at the table.
430
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:20,833
Alo Glo can fix you,
and that's a guarantee.
431
00:24:21,875 --> 00:24:25,250
I see the Alo Glo right there
on the table in front of you,
432
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:26,958
but I don't see you using it.
433
00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,416
[Stacey scoffs]
434
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:33,208
I already used it, and it didn't work.
I mean, look at me. I'm all red.
435
00:24:33,291 --> 00:24:37,291
Well, you have to use the whole bottle,
and you're gonna need more.
436
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,916
You want a full body transformation,
don't you?
437
00:24:41,583 --> 00:24:45,041
Yeah, but… it stings.
It's making me all itchy.
438
00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:46,833
Of course it stings.
439
00:24:46,916 --> 00:24:49,083
It hurts when it works.
440
00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:52,416
Skin itches when it is healing.
441
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,208
The more it itches,
the more healing it is doing.
442
00:24:55,291 --> 00:24:58,125
You have a lot of healing to do, Stacey.
443
00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:00,750
Just pick up the phone.
444
00:25:02,125 --> 00:25:03,916
Think about it, Stacey.
445
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,541
It's such a shame to have to be you,
446
00:25:06,625 --> 00:25:10,041
because you're not someone
anyone wants to have around.
447
00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:13,458
You're not someone anyone wants to see.
448
00:25:13,958 --> 00:25:18,291
But soon, you will be the things
you always dreamed of.
449
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:22,916
True acceptance, harmony,
peace, and divinity.
450
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,916
All that stuff is a lie.
451
00:25:26,041 --> 00:25:28,416
We all just wanna be good-looking.
452
00:25:29,958 --> 00:25:32,375
So now step across to the other side,
453
00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:36,875
step out of your skin,
and into your Alo Glo.
454
00:25:36,958 --> 00:25:38,750
[woman on phone]
Enter your credit card number.
455
00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:41,333
[man on TV] Harnessing the power
of retinol and peptides
456
00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:45,083
that work deep within the dermal layer,
promoting…
457
00:25:45,166 --> 00:25:47,041
[woman on phone] Thank you for your order.
458
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,458
We look forward
to meeting the brand-new you.
459
00:25:49,541 --> 00:25:52,083
[man on TV] …tells your body
to make a new you.
460
00:25:52,166 --> 00:25:56,291
Remember, it doesn't work
if you don't use it.
461
00:25:56,375 --> 00:25:59,125
["Ode To Joy" playing]
462
00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:21,041
[snoring]
463
00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:25,666
[birds sing]
464
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,791
[Keith snores]
465
00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:30,291
-[banging on door]
-[doorbell rings]
466
00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:33,166
["Ode To Joy" continues]
467
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:35,250
[Keith snores]
468
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:22,708
["Ode To Joy" vocals distort, echo]
469
00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:50,583
[jolly cartoon music plays on TV]
470
00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:53,208
Stace?
471
00:27:54,291 --> 00:27:55,833
Did I hear a knock?
472
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,166
Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work?
473
00:28:00,791 --> 00:28:02,166
I called in sick.
474
00:28:02,708 --> 00:28:03,583
Oh.
475
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:06,083
Whoa, your face!
476
00:28:08,666 --> 00:28:09,875
It's not that bad.
477
00:28:10,708 --> 00:28:11,583
Yeah.
478
00:28:12,541 --> 00:28:13,833
It looks pretty bad.
479
00:28:15,541 --> 00:28:17,166
Mostly just itches now.
480
00:28:19,375 --> 00:28:21,708
I don't think you should use
that lotion anymore.
481
00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:25,458
It's a process.
It's healing when it itches.
482
00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:30,291
You know how much money
they make off all those creams
483
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,833
and powders and lotions?
484
00:28:33,291 --> 00:28:36,125
All from making you think
that there's somethin' wrong with you.
485
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:38,125
Something is wrong with me.
486
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,833
There's nothin' wrong with you.
487
00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:43,583
Nothin' at all.
488
00:28:43,666 --> 00:28:47,333
If there's somethin' wrong with you,
well, there's somethin' wrong with me too.
489
00:28:47,833 --> 00:28:48,666
No.
490
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:50,625
You're fine.
491
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:54,000
You'll always be fine. You wanna know why?
492
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:55,958
'Cause you're a man.
493
00:28:56,916 --> 00:29:02,041
Men can be fat and hairy and ugly
and impolite and old, and nobody cares.
494
00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:05,125
Everybody likes you.
Everybody wants to talk to you.
495
00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:08,250
Yeah, well,
I don't wanna talk to everyone.
496
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:10,458
I just wanna talk to you.
497
00:29:12,416 --> 00:29:15,375
That's nice. Really great.
'Preciate it, honey.
498
00:29:17,791 --> 00:29:19,041
But I am changing.
499
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,791
It is happening.
500
00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:24,500
So please be supportive.
501
00:29:26,541 --> 00:29:29,583
"Be… supportive."
502
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,833
That's what I said.
I said, "Be supportive."
503
00:29:33,291 --> 00:29:34,208
Hmm.
504
00:29:37,916 --> 00:29:39,833
Just try not to scratch it, hon.
505
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:43,708
[dramatic cartoon music playing]
506
00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:47,666
[door closes]
507
00:29:49,708 --> 00:29:52,333
-[cream squelches]
-[cartoon music continues]
508
00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:56,791
[music fades]
509
00:29:56,875 --> 00:29:58,583
[cream continues squelching]
510
00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:01,166
[mysterious plucked string music playing]
511
00:30:02,666 --> 00:30:04,875
[woman on TV]
Get your muscles smarter and stronger
512
00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:06,875
with the Full Fit fitness machine.
513
00:30:06,958 --> 00:30:10,000
Other smart gyms can't do
what Full Fit can do.
514
00:30:10,083 --> 00:30:13,375
The only tonal machine that is compact,
convenient, and customized--
515
00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:14,625
[woman 2] …in a 14-karat--
516
00:30:14,708 --> 00:30:16,416
[man] He's an industrious mammal.
517
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,583
The beaver constantly
repairing the leaks in his dam.
518
00:30:19,666 --> 00:30:23,250
[man 2] The ancient secrets of
the mystic tarot foreshadow your future.
519
00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:28,333
If you dare to discover your destiny,
call 1-900-860-all ones now,
520
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:30,625
as noted author and numerologist--
521
00:30:30,708 --> 00:30:36,000
Alo Glo is the only skincare product
that transforms your body, mind, and soul.
522
00:30:36,083 --> 00:30:39,875
Whether you want porcelain skin,
you want to turn heads,
523
00:30:39,958 --> 00:30:43,958
or just reverse the aging process,
Alo Glo does it all,
524
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:47,166
and it's only 299.99.
525
00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:49,666
Call the number on your screen now.
526
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:51,875
What are you waiting for?
527
00:30:52,458 --> 00:30:54,125
Make your dreams a reality.
528
00:30:54,625 --> 00:30:56,208
It's quick. It's easy.
529
00:30:56,791 --> 00:30:58,458
Invest in yourself.
530
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:08,333
[Keith snores]
531
00:31:13,791 --> 00:31:14,791
[Keith] Mm.
532
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:18,041
Sweetie.
533
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,166
You're scratchin'.
534
00:31:22,291 --> 00:31:24,958
You're scratchin' in your sleep.
You gotta stop.
535
00:31:26,083 --> 00:31:28,166
Oh, it's getting really raw.
536
00:31:29,666 --> 00:31:30,500
Stop.
537
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,166
He says it's working.
538
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:34,333
If it itches, it means it's working.
539
00:31:34,416 --> 00:31:35,500
Mm-hmm.
540
00:31:36,833 --> 00:31:39,166
Go downstairs and get the oven mitts.
541
00:31:39,666 --> 00:31:40,875
Wear 'em to bed.
542
00:31:45,625 --> 00:31:47,625
[clock ticks]
543
00:31:52,541 --> 00:31:53,500
[TV buzzes]
544
00:31:53,583 --> 00:31:55,083
[Alo Glo man] Yoo-hoo!
545
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,208
Hello?
546
00:32:03,458 --> 00:32:05,125
Hello again, Stacey.
547
00:32:06,041 --> 00:32:07,333
It's good to see you.
548
00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:12,791
Come closer.
549
00:32:17,416 --> 00:32:18,333
Closer.
550
00:32:21,458 --> 00:32:24,416
Come, let me see your progress.
551
00:32:26,375 --> 00:32:27,250
[Stacey chuckles]
552
00:32:29,291 --> 00:32:32,875
It's not much progress.
Look, it's actually way worse.
553
00:32:33,833 --> 00:32:35,291
Keith says that I'm allergic.
554
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:38,291
No, no, no. You're not allergic.
555
00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:40,333
It's doing its job.
556
00:32:40,916 --> 00:32:42,541
You need to let it grow.
557
00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:45,666
Let what grow?
558
00:32:46,458 --> 00:32:47,541
The new you.
559
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:50,708
But you have to trust me.
560
00:32:51,833 --> 00:32:53,708
You have to trust the formula.
561
00:32:54,833 --> 00:32:59,291
And I feel that maybe you don't… trust me.
562
00:33:01,875 --> 00:33:03,333
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
563
00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:04,958
Hold on, come back.
564
00:33:05,041 --> 00:33:05,875
Hold on!
565
00:33:06,541 --> 00:33:07,666
Please come back!
566
00:33:08,708 --> 00:33:09,541
Hello?
567
00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:11,875
-Hello?
-[TV buzzes]
568
00:33:14,375 --> 00:33:16,291
You know what trust is, Stacey?
569
00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:18,541
Yeah.
570
00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:21,375
Give me your hand.
571
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
[soft crackling]
572
00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:32,541
You know, you have to go all the way.
573
00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:37,208
Any questions?
574
00:33:42,583 --> 00:33:43,416
Will it hurt?
575
00:33:46,833 --> 00:33:47,666
You tell me.
576
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,208
Does it hurt when they exclude you?
577
00:33:53,041 --> 00:33:54,500
When they stare at you?
578
00:33:55,875 --> 00:33:58,708
When they point and laugh and whisper?
579
00:34:01,166 --> 00:34:02,000
Yeah.
580
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,291
You want to know
what it feels like to be pretty?
581
00:34:08,083 --> 00:34:09,458
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
582
00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:13,000
Are you with me, Stacey?
583
00:34:18,708 --> 00:34:21,041
-Yeah.
-Yeah, you're with me.
584
00:34:21,125 --> 00:34:22,916
-I'm with you.
-You're with me. That's great.
585
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,541
-I'm with you. [chuckles]
-That's great.
586
00:34:24,625 --> 00:34:27,458
You are ready, Stacey. You're ready.
587
00:34:27,541 --> 00:34:31,208
You're ready to harness
the power of retinol and peptides.
588
00:34:31,291 --> 00:34:35,000
Let it in, Stacey.
It's already inside you.
589
00:34:36,166 --> 00:34:37,333
What's inside me?
590
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,208
Your new life, the one you want.
591
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,041
It's already growing, right there,
592
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,208
under your skin.
593
00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:47,333
[chuckles softly]
594
00:34:50,458 --> 00:34:51,708
It's under my skin?
595
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:56,250
Use more Alo Glo.
596
00:34:57,541 --> 00:34:59,083
[mysterious music playing]
597
00:35:11,583 --> 00:35:13,583
[lids click]
598
00:35:14,541 --> 00:35:16,041
[cream squelches]
599
00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:29,625
[jarring string melody playing]
600
00:35:49,041 --> 00:35:51,041
[Keith snores]
601
00:35:52,666 --> 00:35:53,708
[Keith] Mm.
602
00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:56,625
[disturbing orchestral music playing]
603
00:36:03,375 --> 00:36:04,958
[Keith snores]
604
00:36:05,041 --> 00:36:05,875
Keith?
605
00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:08,625
[Keith] Mm?
606
00:36:09,666 --> 00:36:11,958
Can you stay home from work tomorrow?
607
00:36:14,875 --> 00:36:17,958
[groggily] No. You know I can't do that.
608
00:36:33,416 --> 00:36:36,791
-[singers drone eerie notes]
-[orchestral music continues]
609
00:36:53,375 --> 00:36:55,375
[cream continues squelching]
610
00:37:35,875 --> 00:37:37,875
[shrill discordant violin notes play]
611
00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:13,541
[Keith] Stace?
612
00:38:15,416 --> 00:38:16,333
You home?
613
00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:23,083
Stace?
614
00:38:26,166 --> 00:38:27,041
You hungry?
615
00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:30,750
[chuckles]
616
00:38:37,833 --> 00:38:38,833
Ah.
617
00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:44,625
[beep]
618
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,291
Ah!
619
00:38:49,375 --> 00:38:51,833
[exhales, laughs]
620
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,291
[beeping]
621
00:39:00,291 --> 00:39:02,291
[sizzling]
622
00:39:05,791 --> 00:39:07,208
[laughs]
623
00:39:16,625 --> 00:39:18,375
[man] Be one of the lucky callers--
624
00:39:18,458 --> 00:39:19,500
[man 2] That's it.
625
00:39:20,166 --> 00:39:21,083
That's the way they…
626
00:39:21,166 --> 00:39:22,083
Stace?
627
00:39:22,166 --> 00:39:23,958
-[man 2] You owe me six bits.
-[man 3] Wait a minute.
628
00:39:24,041 --> 00:39:25,583
One-Eyed Jacks is on.
629
00:39:26,291 --> 00:39:27,125
[Keith] Honey?
630
00:39:31,208 --> 00:39:32,541
[laughs softly]
631
00:39:32,625 --> 00:39:34,625
[television continues indistinctly]
632
00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:41,500
[Stacey] I'll come down,
but please don't say anything,
633
00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:43,958
because I already know
what you're gonna say.
634
00:39:47,791 --> 00:39:48,750
Okay.
635
00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:51,083
[man on TV]
You get up, you big tub of guts.
636
00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:54,291
[woman on TV]
¡Quítate tú o te mato a ti también!
637
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:57,166
¡Los mato! ¡Los mato esta vez!
638
00:39:57,875 --> 00:39:59,458
[gunshots on TV]
639
00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:07,916
It's healing.
640
00:40:09,625 --> 00:40:11,083
It's not healing.
641
00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:13,541
Hon, it's getting worse.
642
00:40:14,541 --> 00:40:16,125
We gotta go see Dr. Sneider.
643
00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:19,291
Oh, no, no, no. I… I feel fine. Really.
644
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:21,875
Yeah, it's…
This is just part of the process.
645
00:40:21,958 --> 00:40:24,083
It gets worse before it gets better.
646
00:40:24,791 --> 00:40:28,083
[chuckles] It's not an allergic reaction
like you thought.
647
00:40:28,166 --> 00:40:31,208
That's the thing. It's…
It's in my skin. It's growing.
648
00:40:31,291 --> 00:40:32,750
-That's how it works.
-Stacey.
649
00:40:32,833 --> 00:40:34,708
-It's working.
-Are you hearing yourself?
650
00:40:34,791 --> 00:40:36,708
I can feel it working. [exhales]
651
00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:40,500
Why can't you just be excited for me, huh?
You know, I…
652
00:40:41,416 --> 00:40:43,416
This is what's gonna fix me.
653
00:40:43,916 --> 00:40:45,458
It's transformative!
654
00:40:46,916 --> 00:40:48,875
You don't need to be fixed.
655
00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:54,625
You just don't understand how it works.
There's peptides and retinol.
656
00:40:54,708 --> 00:40:58,916
It's a groundbreaking
patented six-ingredient formula.
657
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,625
Have you had anything to eat today, hon?
658
00:41:05,125 --> 00:41:05,958
Huh?
659
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,541
Have a pig in a blanket.
660
00:41:12,458 --> 00:41:13,375
Come on.
661
00:41:13,458 --> 00:41:14,791
[man 1 on TV] How'd it happen?
662
00:41:14,875 --> 00:41:16,041
[man 2] We took to scufflin',
663
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:19,708
and… he come out from behind there
with that scattergun.
664
00:41:21,083 --> 00:41:21,916
Yeah.
665
00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:23,583
Yeah.
666
00:41:25,625 --> 00:41:26,458
See?
667
00:41:28,083 --> 00:41:29,166
That's better.
668
00:41:29,250 --> 00:41:30,791
[man 2] He was always askin' for it.
669
00:41:33,083 --> 00:41:34,458
You… You gotta…
670
00:41:35,416 --> 00:41:38,083
You gotta put your worries down sometimes.
671
00:41:38,166 --> 00:41:39,000
Huh?
672
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:43,541
There's nothing wrong with you.
673
00:41:44,250 --> 00:41:45,708
You are lovely.
674
00:41:46,958 --> 00:41:48,166
Inside and out.
675
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:55,125
When you say "inside,"
it means I'm not lovely on the outside.
676
00:41:55,208 --> 00:41:56,708
No, the…
677
00:41:56,791 --> 00:41:57,875
You are.
678
00:41:57,958 --> 00:42:00,000
It… You're lovely everywhere.
679
00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:04,500
Then why do I want
to take off all of my skin
680
00:42:04,583 --> 00:42:06,833
and throw it in the garbage?!
681
00:42:06,916 --> 00:42:08,708
[tense string music playing]
682
00:42:11,083 --> 00:42:13,708
-Where are you goin'?
-I'm going downstairs!
683
00:42:13,791 --> 00:42:15,875
You better not use more o' that stuff.
684
00:42:16,375 --> 00:42:17,750
I mean it, Stace!
685
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:20,875
[door creaks]
686
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:24,458
[footsteps]
687
00:42:29,916 --> 00:42:31,916
[squelching]
688
00:42:32,791 --> 00:42:34,791
[curious plinking music playing]
689
00:42:50,458 --> 00:42:52,666
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
690
00:42:52,750 --> 00:42:54,708
♪ Doo doo-doo ♪
691
00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:07,250
-[singing continues]
-[enchanting music playing]
692
00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:46,500
[faint rumbling]
693
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000
[rumbling continues]
694
00:44:06,916 --> 00:44:08,083
[squelching]
695
00:44:47,083 --> 00:44:49,083
[singer drones low notes]
696
00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:13,375
[man on TV] How'd you find me here?
697
00:45:14,583 --> 00:45:16,000
What in the hell?
698
00:45:16,583 --> 00:45:18,916
-[woman on TV] I don't know how…
-Are you kiddin' me?
699
00:45:21,208 --> 00:45:23,500
What in the world has gotten into you?!
700
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:24,875
No.
701
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:27,791
[inhales] I'm so excited.
702
00:45:27,875 --> 00:45:29,625
I've never felt better.
703
00:45:32,666 --> 00:45:35,875
-This isn't you, Stace.
-You shouldn't judge people, Keith.
704
00:45:35,958 --> 00:45:37,458
It's negative and mean.
705
00:45:37,541 --> 00:45:39,416
[man on TV] I'll figure that out when…
706
00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:40,333
No.
707
00:45:41,958 --> 00:45:47,583
You… are Stacey Elizabeth Chapman.
708
00:45:48,250 --> 00:45:49,958
You know what I love about you?
709
00:45:50,041 --> 00:45:51,916
You love to watch scary movies.
710
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:55,833
Even though you're too scared to watch,
'cause then you can't sleep at night.
711
00:45:56,375 --> 00:45:57,375
You're so smart.
712
00:45:58,375 --> 00:45:59,750
You're so good at math.
713
00:46:00,666 --> 00:46:02,041
And you love nature.
714
00:46:02,791 --> 00:46:04,583
You love your taxidermy.
715
00:46:07,166 --> 00:46:08,000
Hmm?
716
00:46:08,083 --> 00:46:09,166
You're an artist.
717
00:46:09,791 --> 00:46:13,125
When other people see a dead animal,
you see somethin' special.
718
00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:15,833
Somethin' beautiful.
719
00:46:16,416 --> 00:46:17,833
You make it beautiful.
720
00:46:19,625 --> 00:46:20,625
You're kind.
721
00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:23,666
And funny.
722
00:46:25,166 --> 00:46:26,125
And thoughtful.
723
00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:31,500
And I think you're perfect.
724
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,458
That's what's wrong with you, Keith.
725
00:46:37,375 --> 00:46:38,208
Enough!
726
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:45,250
You are gonna stop
this nonsense right now.
727
00:46:45,333 --> 00:46:46,250
You hear me?
728
00:46:48,208 --> 00:46:52,250
It's just that you don't understand
what is happening to me.
729
00:46:52,833 --> 00:46:55,166
'Cause I'm tired, and I've had enough.
730
00:46:57,583 --> 00:46:59,750
[inhales raspingly] It's too late, Keith.
731
00:47:01,208 --> 00:47:03,125
She's already here!
732
00:47:05,750 --> 00:47:06,583
Who?
733
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:09,250
Who is here?
734
00:47:10,958 --> 00:47:12,041
Who is here?
735
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,291
Once my transformation is complete…
736
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:16,708
Enough!
737
00:47:17,958 --> 00:47:19,208
Okay, just calm down.
738
00:47:19,291 --> 00:47:21,708
There's no transformation!
739
00:47:23,708 --> 00:47:25,583
Okay. Okay.
740
00:47:29,333 --> 00:47:30,250
It's just that…
741
00:47:32,375 --> 00:47:34,583
you're not gonna change, are you?
742
00:47:37,375 --> 00:47:39,750
And you don't want me to change either.
743
00:47:40,416 --> 00:47:41,250
Do you?
744
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,000
I don't want you to change.
745
00:47:43,916 --> 00:47:47,250
That's what I've been trying to tell you
until I'm blue in the face.
746
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:55,750
-[Stacey strains] Dah!
-Agh!
747
00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:01,625
Ah…
748
00:48:02,208 --> 00:48:03,083
Ah.
749
00:48:05,166 --> 00:48:07,750
Ohhh. Oh.
750
00:48:08,958 --> 00:48:10,041
Huh…
751
00:48:10,125 --> 00:48:11,416
What the fuck, Stace?
752
00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:14,208
Oh.
753
00:48:16,291 --> 00:48:17,708
You stabbed me in the face.
754
00:48:26,416 --> 00:48:27,458
How deep is it?
755
00:48:29,166 --> 00:48:30,208
Huh?
756
00:48:30,291 --> 00:48:31,166
Hon…
757
00:48:31,666 --> 00:48:32,875
I'm sorry.
758
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,250
Should I pull it out?
759
00:48:36,416 --> 00:48:37,750
I'm gonna pull it out.
760
00:48:38,333 --> 00:48:39,166
Okay.
761
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:42,250
Ah.
762
00:48:43,083 --> 00:48:45,666
-Oh, jeez. Oh.
-Oh, I'm bleedin'.
763
00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:48,458
Oh no. Oh no.
764
00:48:49,333 --> 00:48:50,500
Is it bad?
765
00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:53,125
Yeah, it's pretty bad, honey.
766
00:48:53,208 --> 00:48:54,250
[Keith panting]
767
00:48:54,333 --> 00:48:55,208
Oh.
768
00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:58,666
It's on my… It's on my glasses.
769
00:49:00,083 --> 00:49:02,291
Hon, this is… this is real bad.
770
00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:05,958
This is real bad. I…
I need a… I need a towel.
771
00:49:06,041 --> 00:49:08,041
-Will you go get me a towel, hon?
-Yeah.
772
00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:10,208
Huh?
773
00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:11,833
[Stacey] Okay.
774
00:49:11,916 --> 00:49:13,958
Oh. I'll use my radio.
775
00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:16,208
Yeah, okay.
776
00:49:21,541 --> 00:49:23,083
[radio beeps, crackles]
777
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,541
Dispatch? Dispatch?
778
00:49:29,625 --> 00:49:31,750
-[man on radio] Copy, Chapman, go ahead.
This… I…
779
00:49:32,375 --> 00:49:33,875
This is Officer Chapman.
780
00:49:34,375 --> 00:49:36,291
I have a 10-33--
781
00:49:36,375 --> 00:49:37,500
-[thud]
-Ah!
782
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:38,416
-[Stacey inhales]
-Ah.
783
00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:39,583
Please respond, Chapman.
784
00:49:39,666 --> 00:49:40,958
-[Keith] Oh.
-[Stacey] Oh.
785
00:49:42,708 --> 00:49:45,041
Line's open. Go ahead, Chapman, please.
786
00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:46,500
-Ah.
-[Stacey] Mm.
787
00:49:46,583 --> 00:49:47,500
Agh.
788
00:49:48,166 --> 00:49:50,208
-Somethin' fell on me, hon.
-[Stacey groans]
789
00:49:50,291 --> 00:49:52,500
Line's open. Go ahead, Chapman.
790
00:49:52,583 --> 00:49:53,416
[Stacey strains]
791
00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:54,791
-[thud]
-Agh. Huh.
792
00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:56,083
Oh.
793
00:49:57,541 --> 00:49:59,458
[grunts]
794
00:49:59,958 --> 00:50:01,416
[laughs]
795
00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:03,833
[strains]
796
00:50:03,916 --> 00:50:05,291
Dah!
797
00:50:05,375 --> 00:50:07,375
-[Stacey breathes heavily]
-[Keith groans]
798
00:50:07,458 --> 00:50:09,625
[Stacey strains]
799
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,833
[Stacey continues breathing heavily
and grunting]
800
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:34,833
[banging on TV]
801
00:50:37,833 --> 00:50:39,958
Now let's see the kind of stuff
you're made of.
802
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,416
[exhales]
803
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:48,333
[simple plucked string music playing]
804
00:50:54,583 --> 00:50:56,583
[singer drones low notes]
805
00:51:05,541 --> 00:51:07,541
[mysterious orchestral music builds]
806
00:51:10,458 --> 00:51:11,916
[creature squelches]
807
00:51:28,958 --> 00:51:30,958
[deep rumbling]
808
00:51:33,083 --> 00:51:35,083
[creature squelches and drips]
809
00:51:40,833 --> 00:51:41,791
Wha…
810
00:51:43,875 --> 00:51:44,875
Huh.
811
00:52:01,541 --> 00:52:03,000
[Stacey grunts]
812
00:52:09,125 --> 00:52:10,000
Oh.
813
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:11,666
[squelches]
814
00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:12,583
Oh.
815
00:52:13,375 --> 00:52:15,750
[breathes shakily]
816
00:52:17,041 --> 00:52:18,250
Oh. [chuckles]
817
00:52:18,833 --> 00:52:20,041
Ah.
818
00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:22,500
Ah.
819
00:52:26,208 --> 00:52:27,208
Ah.
820
00:52:29,833 --> 00:52:31,416
Oh. Oh!
821
00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:33,791
Ah. Oh!
822
00:52:34,916 --> 00:52:36,166
Ahh!
823
00:52:36,250 --> 00:52:38,416
Oh. Oh.
824
00:52:40,500 --> 00:52:41,500
Ah.
825
00:52:43,416 --> 00:52:44,375
Oh.
826
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:45,958
[moans]
827
00:52:46,041 --> 00:52:47,916
Oh! Oh!
828
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,208
Oh-ah!
829
00:52:49,291 --> 00:52:50,958
[breathes heavily]
830
00:52:51,041 --> 00:52:53,041
[laughs]
831
00:52:54,166 --> 00:52:55,125
Ah.
832
00:52:55,208 --> 00:52:56,750
[chuckles] Oh!
833
00:52:59,916 --> 00:53:01,041
Ah. [chuckles]
834
00:53:01,708 --> 00:53:03,000
Ah.
835
00:53:03,083 --> 00:53:04,291
Oh. [chuckles]
836
00:53:05,125 --> 00:53:06,083
Oh.
837
00:53:07,541 --> 00:53:09,500
[deep rumbling]
838
00:53:15,791 --> 00:53:17,791
[distant bird squawks]
839
00:53:25,208 --> 00:53:27,208
-[rumbling]
-[squelching]
840
00:53:32,916 --> 00:53:35,333
["You Sexy Thing" by Caleb Hawley playing]
841
00:53:46,625 --> 00:53:50,041
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
842
00:53:52,625 --> 00:53:54,250
♪ Where you from ♪
843
00:53:54,791 --> 00:53:57,375
♪ Uh, you sexy thing? ♪
844
00:53:57,458 --> 00:53:59,458
♪ You sexy thing, you ♪
845
00:54:00,041 --> 00:54:03,583
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
846
00:54:03,666 --> 00:54:04,583
Ah.
847
00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:08,041
♪ Since you came along ♪
848
00:54:09,375 --> 00:54:12,083
♪ You sexy thing, you ♪
849
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,625
♪ Mmm ♪
850
00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:19,041
♪ Mm-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
851
00:54:21,041 --> 00:54:22,500
♪ Mmm ♪
852
00:54:22,583 --> 00:54:25,875
♪ Mm-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
853
00:54:25,958 --> 00:54:27,166
[sighs, chuckles]
854
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,958
♪ Where did you come from, baby? ♪
855
00:54:34,916 --> 00:54:37,666
♪ How did you know ♪
856
00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:39,250
♪ I needed you? ♪
857
00:54:41,916 --> 00:54:43,625
♪ How did you know… ♪
858
00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:45,500
[Stacey] Look, look! Look, look, look!
859
00:54:45,583 --> 00:54:46,541
Keith, look!
860
00:54:46,625 --> 00:54:48,958
Look, look! I told you, look, look!
861
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:50,500
Look at me!
862
00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:52,083
See?
863
00:54:52,166 --> 00:54:54,833
♪ …my heart gladly ♪
864
00:54:54,916 --> 00:54:56,666
♪ Yesterday ♪
865
00:54:57,541 --> 00:55:00,708
♪ I was one of the lonely people ♪
866
00:55:00,791 --> 00:55:01,958
[Stacey strains]
867
00:55:02,041 --> 00:55:05,291
♪ Now you're lying close to me ♪
868
00:55:05,375 --> 00:55:08,791
♪ Making love to me-ee-ay ♪
869
00:55:08,875 --> 00:55:12,041
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
870
00:55:12,125 --> 00:55:12,958
[Stacey] Mmm.
871
00:55:13,041 --> 00:55:14,666
♪ Hoo-ah-ooh ♪
872
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:16,500
♪ Where you from ♪
873
00:55:16,583 --> 00:55:17,708
♪ Hoo ♪
874
00:55:17,791 --> 00:55:20,000
♪ You sexy thing? ♪
875
00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:22,541
♪ Ah-ah ♪
876
00:55:22,625 --> 00:55:26,708
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
877
00:55:26,791 --> 00:55:28,041
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
878
00:55:28,125 --> 00:55:29,833
♪ Since you came along ♪
879
00:55:29,916 --> 00:55:31,000
[exhales raspingly]
880
00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:33,958
♪ You sexy thing, you ♪
881
00:55:34,916 --> 00:55:36,208
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
882
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:37,875
♪ Mmm ♪
883
00:55:37,958 --> 00:55:41,375
♪ Mm-doo-doo ba-dum ♪
884
00:55:43,166 --> 00:55:44,750
♪ Mmm ♪
885
00:55:49,208 --> 00:55:50,875
♪ Mmm ♪
886
00:55:50,958 --> 00:55:54,375
♪ Mm-doo-doo ba-dum ♪
887
00:55:56,583 --> 00:56:01,041
♪ Where did you come from, baby? ♪
888
00:56:01,125 --> 00:56:02,125
♪ Mmm ♪
889
00:56:03,458 --> 00:56:05,958
♪ How did you know ♪
890
00:56:06,041 --> 00:56:07,583
♪ I'd be the one? ♪
891
00:56:11,208 --> 00:56:12,666
♪ Did you know ♪
892
00:56:12,750 --> 00:56:16,000
♪ You're everything I'd prayed for? ♪
893
00:56:17,833 --> 00:56:19,250
♪ Did you know ♪
894
00:56:20,083 --> 00:56:23,333
♪ Every night and day for? ♪
895
00:56:23,416 --> 00:56:25,666
♪ Every day ♪
896
00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:29,833
♪ Needing love as satisfaction ♪
897
00:56:30,458 --> 00:56:33,333
♪ Now you're lying next to me ♪
898
00:56:33,916 --> 00:56:37,083
♪ Givin' it to me ♪
899
00:56:37,166 --> 00:56:38,708
♪ Oh, I believe in… ♪
900
00:56:38,791 --> 00:56:40,625
Bye, hon. Have a great day.
901
00:56:43,375 --> 00:56:45,458
♪ Where you from, babe? ♪
902
00:56:46,291 --> 00:56:48,041
♪ You sexy thing ♪
903
00:56:48,125 --> 00:56:50,000
♪ You sexy thing ♪
904
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:54,333
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
905
00:56:54,916 --> 00:56:56,458
♪ Hoo, yeah ♪
906
00:56:56,541 --> 00:56:58,750
♪ Since you came along ♪
907
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,666
♪ You sexy thing ♪
908
00:57:01,750 --> 00:57:03,541
♪ You sexy thing ♪
909
00:57:03,625 --> 00:57:05,625
[frantic cartoon music playing]
910
00:57:07,041 --> 00:57:09,041
[disconcerting string music playing]
911
00:57:11,416 --> 00:57:13,291
No, no, you're not listening to me.
912
00:57:13,375 --> 00:57:16,708
Okay? He needs a father that talks to him
about what he's going through.
913
00:57:17,291 --> 00:57:19,083
Yeah, 'cause that's a father's job.
914
00:57:19,166 --> 00:57:20,333
Uh-huh! Yeah.
915
00:57:20,416 --> 00:57:21,666
…gery and it went wrong.
916
00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:22,708
-No!
-Yeah.
917
00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:24,416
Basically he doesn't have a dick anymore.
918
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:25,750
Tell me how you feel.
919
00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:28,833
Yeah, no, it's not therapy. It's just…
920
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,458
Wh… What's wrong with Mr. Rogers?
921
00:57:32,541 --> 00:57:34,750
You know what?
Don't be so fucking primitive.
922
00:57:35,333 --> 00:57:37,208
[laughing] Oh, yes, you are.
923
00:57:37,750 --> 00:57:38,625
Oh-ho.
924
00:57:39,708 --> 00:57:40,916
Miss Chapman?!
925
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:43,375
Good morning, Ronnie.
926
00:57:44,166 --> 00:57:47,500
-You look… sensational!
-Oh, thank you.
927
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:49,583
-[Jill] God!
-[Kathy] Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
928
00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:51,000
Is that Stacey?
929
00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,250
-I'll call you later.
-[Kathy] You seeing what I'm seeing?
930
00:57:53,333 --> 00:57:55,416
I don't know. What are you seeing?
931
00:57:55,500 --> 00:57:56,958
That's what I just asked you.
932
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:03,125
Oh my God.
933
00:58:03,208 --> 00:58:04,416
[Stacey clears throat]
934
00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:06,083
It's like when you're in the desert,
935
00:58:06,166 --> 00:58:09,000
and, like,
you're really hot and dehydrated,
936
00:58:09,083 --> 00:58:10,625
and this thing appears before you--
937
00:58:10,708 --> 00:58:13,416
-It's a mirage, it's a mirage.
-It's like a mirage.
938
00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:16,083
[Kathy whispers]
We're not in the desert, Jill.
939
00:58:17,833 --> 00:58:19,458
She's an angel.
940
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,416
Oh, wow.
941
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:24,000
Hi, ladies.
942
00:58:24,083 --> 00:58:25,291
[women, chummily] Hi!
943
00:58:25,375 --> 00:58:30,000
♪ Bum-bum, ba-da ba-da ba-dum… ♪
944
00:58:30,083 --> 00:58:33,041
Oh my God, you smell so good.
She smells so good.
945
00:58:33,750 --> 00:58:35,291
-Wow.
-It's so exciting!
946
00:58:35,375 --> 00:58:37,833
-Oh my God, it's so exciting.
-[Kathy] You look gorgeous.
947
00:58:37,916 --> 00:58:40,125
Just unreal.
948
00:58:40,208 --> 00:58:41,791
[women whisper excitedly]
949
00:58:41,875 --> 00:58:44,083
-It's not the way she regularly smells.
-Ah.
950
00:58:44,583 --> 00:58:48,666
This is just… so strange.
951
00:58:48,750 --> 00:58:50,416
[Gina] Stacey, hi.
952
00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:51,541
[Kathy] Hi.
953
00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:52,458
Hi, Gina.
954
00:58:53,375 --> 00:58:55,708
Did you… get something done?
955
00:58:56,541 --> 00:58:58,291
I sure did.
956
00:58:58,375 --> 00:59:00,916
-I changed my hair. It's shorter.
-Oh!
957
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,750
-Do you like it?
-You look amazing.
958
00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:05,541
-Mm, I do, don't I?
-Yes.
959
00:59:05,625 --> 00:59:07,750
Like, so amazing.
960
00:59:07,833 --> 00:59:10,333
-[Stacey] Mmm.
-[Gina] How did you, um…
961
00:59:10,416 --> 00:59:11,416
Um…
962
00:59:11,916 --> 00:59:14,583
I mean, it's just… it's… it's… it's so…
963
00:59:14,666 --> 00:59:16,583
-Different?
-Different, yes, it's different.
964
00:59:16,666 --> 00:59:17,708
It's different.
965
00:59:17,791 --> 00:59:21,083
Yeah, I mean you look… really…
966
00:59:21,166 --> 00:59:22,791
I look really…
967
00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:24,291
what?
968
00:59:24,833 --> 00:59:25,833
Tell me.
969
00:59:25,916 --> 00:59:27,000
You look
970
00:59:27,583 --> 00:59:28,833
really beautiful.
971
00:59:28,916 --> 00:59:30,041
-Yeah.
-Aw.
972
00:59:30,541 --> 00:59:32,250
[all chuckle]
973
00:59:32,333 --> 00:59:34,041
Thank you! [laughs]
974
00:59:34,125 --> 00:59:37,041
-Like, I mean, it's surreal.
-So hard to…
975
00:59:37,125 --> 00:59:39,041
You can look closer if you want.
976
00:59:39,125 --> 00:59:41,208
Just get a really close look.
977
00:59:41,958 --> 00:59:42,791
Okay.
978
00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:46,583
Is this new?
979
00:59:47,166 --> 00:59:49,541
No, I've always had it. Do you like it?
980
00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:52,083
Yeah.
981
00:59:52,750 --> 00:59:54,666
[Kathy] Hm. Mmm. Mm-hmm.
982
00:59:54,750 --> 00:59:56,750
[chuckles]
983
00:59:57,958 --> 01:00:02,416
So, did you hear
Donald Crenshaw got a DUI?
984
01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:04,916
He drove his car into a snowbank.
985
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,875
Oh my God, his poor wife
must be so embarrassed.
986
01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:09,958
Please. She is no saint.
987
01:00:10,041 --> 01:00:12,583
Yeah, no,
Judy's a total lush, a day drinker.
988
01:00:12,666 --> 01:00:13,875
Glug-glug. Oh yeah.
989
01:00:13,958 --> 01:00:17,291
Always has schnapps on her breath
when she's cashing her checks.
990
01:00:17,791 --> 01:00:19,708
Secondhand schnapps.
991
01:00:19,791 --> 01:00:22,916
Well, speaking of schnapps,
we should all go to Giuseppe's for drinks.
992
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,083
Yeah! Happy hour!
993
01:00:25,166 --> 01:00:27,000
They make the best gimlets.
994
01:00:27,083 --> 01:00:28,458
-They do, yeah.
-Yeah.
995
01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:32,541
You're gonna love it, Stacey.
They have a Cobb salad to die for.
996
01:00:32,625 --> 01:00:33,833
I love Cobb salad.
997
01:00:33,916 --> 01:00:34,750
Mmm.
998
01:00:34,833 --> 01:00:36,333
[all chuckle]
999
01:00:37,166 --> 01:00:39,000
[laughs energetically]
1000
01:00:39,083 --> 01:00:41,083
[all laugh]
1001
01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:43,750
["Ode To Joy" playing]
1002
01:00:43,833 --> 01:00:45,833
[women continue chortling]
1003
01:00:54,416 --> 01:00:56,791
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
1004
01:00:56,875 --> 01:00:58,583
["You Sexy Thing" by Zella Day playing]
1005
01:00:58,666 --> 01:01:00,500
♪ Where you from ♪
1006
01:01:00,583 --> 01:01:02,625
♪ You sexy thing? ♪
1007
01:01:03,666 --> 01:01:06,541
♪ I believe in miracles… ♪
1008
01:01:06,625 --> 01:01:09,083
[continues laughing]
1009
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,875
♪ You sexy thing ♪
1010
01:01:22,333 --> 01:01:25,541
♪ Where did you come from, baby? ♪
1011
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:30,416
♪ How did you know I needed you? ♪
1012
01:01:31,708 --> 01:01:36,166
♪ How did you know
I needed you so badly? ♪
1013
01:01:36,250 --> 01:01:40,416
♪ How did you know
I'd give my heart gladly? ♪
1014
01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:45,083
♪ Yesterday
I was one of the lonely people ♪
1015
01:01:45,166 --> 01:01:47,458
♪ Now you're lying close to me ♪
1016
01:01:47,541 --> 01:01:49,875
♪ Making love to me, oh ♪
1017
01:01:49,958 --> 01:01:53,166
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
1018
01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:55,083
[creepy theme music playing]