1 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,752 Uh. Sam, do you mind asking Jay to move to the couch? 2 00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:16,407 Okay. Why? 3 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:19,454 -What? -Sass just came in and he wants you to move seats? 4 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,934 Well, for about six minutes every afternoon, that chair 5 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,675 is bathed in a shaft of light 6 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,896 and it feels really nice. 7 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,506 We don't have a lot going on, Sam. 8 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,726 He likes the shaft of light. 9 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,207 Sure, buddy. Go for it. 10 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,469 Yes! 11 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,256 [sighs] Oh. 12 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,432 Oh, crap... 13 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,086 Too late. I got the shaft. 14 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,871 Damn it. I snooze-eth and lose-eth. 15 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:49,397 [groans] Sass, I'll give you ten back rubs for the seat. 16 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:50,702 I'll make it 20. 17 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,269 That's a pretty generous offer. 18 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,011 100 back rubs! 19 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,273 You got yourself a deal. 20 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:57,622 [Samantha scoffs] 21 00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:00,234 I'm sorry, what is going on? Back rubs? 22 00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:01,278 You don't know about the back rubs? 23 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,237 How does she not know about the back rubs? 24 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,369 Honestly, I try to shut a lot of this ghost stuff out. 25 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,241 You don't deserve this power. 26 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,460 Back rubs are like our ghost currency. 27 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,767 We can't handle money, so centuries ago 28 00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,508 we decided on back rubs. 29 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,510 The problem is, no one can compete with Hetty. 30 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,033 ISAAC: Through a combination 31 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,948 of shrewd bargaining and a general disdain 32 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,428 for physical touch... 33 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,907 Hmm....which leads her 34 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,300 to never cash them in, 35 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:26,260 Hetty has amassed a vast wealth of back rubs. 36 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,218 It's not fair. Hetty's constantly outbidding me. 37 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,306 I've only been dead for 20 years. 38 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:30,829 I don't have the capital. 39 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,223 Well, Trevor, that's just how the world works. 40 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,747 You're new money and you always will be. 41 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:36,879 In the meantime, 42 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,360 it is I who gets the shaft. 43 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:43,320 And, let me tell you, it feels so good. 44 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,932 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:54,026 And here's your change, $1.50. 46 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,419 Enjoy your blender.[Henry chuckles] 47 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,334 No returns. 48 00:01:57,465 --> 00:02:00,468 Hey, man, could you go a little lower on this lamp? 49 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:04,167 Wish we could, but we didn't get rich by giving things away. 50 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,257 No, you got rich by inheriting all my money when I died. 51 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,738 Henry, I think we have a live one in cookware. 52 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,784 Hey, that's my Jell-O mold. 53 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,091 Put that down. That is a family heirloom! 54 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,658 Hey, Jay, do you see 55 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:18,138 that guy over there? He's dressed 56 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,530 like one of your Ren fair buddies. 57 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:22,011 The only thing I see is a cheapskate 58 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,447 with a mustache and a fanny pack. 59 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,841 SAMANTHA: Oh, my God, he's a Viking ghost. 60 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,364 Thor's gonna have so many questions. 61 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,105 I have to go talk to him. [clears throat] 62 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,586 Excuse me. May I use your restroom, please? 63 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:34,632 I'm sorry, it's for paying customers only. 64 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,592 Okay, uh, Jay, just buy the lamp. 65 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,073 Thank you for undermining my bargaining power, babe. 66 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,296 Hmm. 67 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:49,778 That's kinda cool. Sam loves fruit art. 68 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,258 Why is it upside down? 69 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,999 It's because they're swingers. 70 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:56,263 That's right. My son's a pervert. 71 00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,656 Oh, hey, man, uh... 72 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,397 This is a pretty cool upside down pineapple. 73 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,704 Oh, are you into that? 74 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,096 Sicko! 75 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:08,579 A little, but honestly, Sam really loves it. 76 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:12,061 Really? Well, isn't she full of surprises? 77 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,671 She learned about it in college. 78 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,282 I'll bet. [chuckles] 79 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,066 Where did I go wrong? 80 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,156 [chuckling continues] 81 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,376 TREVOR: And now the chair is cold. Damn it. 82 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,856 People don't understand how nice a warm chair is 83 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,031 when you don't have pants on. 84 00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,555 -You okay, buddy? -Pete, 85 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,643 it's not fair how much richer 86 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,210 Hetty is than the rest of us. 87 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,081 Yeah, she throws around her back rub wealth, 88 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,604 but what are you gonna do about it? 89 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,519 I don't know, but we should do something. 90 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,782 She sits here lording it over us. 91 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,654 She's like those two old rich guys from Trading Places. 92 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,657 Oh, great flick. Oh! Maybe I should choose it 93 00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,224 this week, when it's my turn to pick TV time. 94 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:47,444 That's it. 95 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:49,707 TV time. 96 00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:50,839 What-- What about it? 97 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,536 That's how I take Hetty down. 98 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,146 Yes, she's been around a long time, 99 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,974 but I was a Wall Street whiz kid. 100 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,934 And you just gave me an idea for a new financial instrument. 101 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,675 It's simple as long as you understand the basic principles 102 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,765 of market power and the downward sloping demand curve. 103 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,767 Okay. 104 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:08,857 Well, I'm out. But have fun. 105 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,295 SAMANTHA: Hey, big fella, 106 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,905 it's okay. I'm a friend. 107 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,125 In Odin's name, how can you see me? 108 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,605 I fell down some stairs 109 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:18,780 and was technically dead for three minutes-- 110 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,738 it's a whole thing-- but who are you? 111 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,741 I'm Bjorn. 112 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,440 I'm from the land of Norvegr. 113 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,530 I died on this property many, many moons ago. 114 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:32,010 Okay. Uh, well, this is kind of a long shot, 115 00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:35,623 but I live nearby and I know another Viking ghost, Thorfinn. 116 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,407 Big man. Beard. 117 00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,365 Yes, exactly. 118 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:39,844 Abandoned by his shipmates. 119 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,585 Yes! Do you know him? 120 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,414 It is he who I came looking for. 121 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,852 You see, I am... 122 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,550 his son. 123 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,949 What is it? What must you tell Thor? 124 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,517 Okay. Well, like I said, it's big news. 125 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,040 I'm talking earth-shattering. 126 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,477 Well, he might want to sit down for this. 127 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,130 -I-Is he sitting down? -Yes, Jay. 128 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,784 How do they sit on furniture? 129 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,177 [sighs] Wouldn't they just go through it? 130 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,875 You said they just go through walls, right? 131 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,965 Whoa, this is gonna spin me out for the whole afternoon. 132 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,925 By the loins of Freya, tell Thor the news! 133 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:18,970 Okay, Thor. So, I went over to the Farnsbys' 134 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:23,061 and I met a ghost. He was a Viking ghost. 135 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,020 He was your son Bjorn. 136 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,588 How do you know this name? 137 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,329 I just told you I met him. 138 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,070 [laughs] Is impossible. 139 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,290 You're saying that my son, who I haven't seen 140 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,075 in a thousand years, has been two ship lengths away 141 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,599 this entire time. 142 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,165 I know, it's so crazy, 143 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,559 but it's true. I would never lie about this. 144 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,695 You met my baby Bjorn? 145 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,001 Well, he's all grown up now. 146 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:54,049 Last I saw him, he was just a... [chuckles] 147 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,180 ...little boy. 148 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,531 Bjorn, when I was your age, 149 00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:01,622 my father gave me this. 150 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:09,412 And now I give it to you. 151 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,023 May you spill the blood 152 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,634 of many Danes with it. 153 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:19,466 Now say, "Goodbye, Father." 154 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,167 Come on. You can do it. 155 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,822 Say "Father." 156 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,954 He's still too young to speak, you know this. 157 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,006 Then I shall hear it upon my return. 158 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:42,271 But I never do hear him say "Father" 159 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,012 because I never return. 160 00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:46,710 Well, he came looking for you, Thor. 161 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,931 All the way from the Old World. 162 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,976 What if a wall were made out of couch? 163 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,717 Would I not be able to go through that? 164 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,503 Thor want to know everything. Have so many questions. 165 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,852 I thought you might, which is why 166 00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,854 I asked a lot of questions. 167 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,858 Okay, so, Bjorn was married. He had three kids. 168 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,860 You're a gramps, buddy! 169 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,165 Who was his first kill? 170 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,472 His first kill? 171 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:10,865 I don't think we covered that. 172 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,867 Okay... 173 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,259 How many Danish heads did he have lined up 174 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,739 outside his cottage? 175 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:19,221 Again, I didn't ask that, specifically. 176 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:22,093 You call yourself journalist? These are obvious questions. 177 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,791 Oh, yeah, he's got you there, Sam. Who, what, where, 178 00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:26,141 when, why, how many severed heads? 179 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,751 These are the tools of your trade. 180 00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,231 Thor wish he could speak to Bjorn himself. 181 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,842 He's so close yet so far. 182 00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:33,496 I know. It's too bad that you don't live 183 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,542 next door to your son and then you could just, like, 184 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,631 walk up to the property line and talk to him. 185 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,241 But the Farnsbys' is two doors over. 186 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:41,199 Wait a minute. 187 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,594 There may be a way for them to speak. Follow me. 188 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,036 FLOWER: Huh. 189 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,777 Need help? 190 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,388 Alberta, I know it's your turn to choose, 191 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:59,870 but I'll pay you 50 back rubs to watch Bodices & Barons. 192 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,002 Ugh, is that that boring period piece drama? 193 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,743 Boring? 194 00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,093 Did you not see the smoldering glances 195 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,095 the baron shot at the chambermaid last week? 196 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,010 Shocked they can put that on the television. 197 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,968 Well, as exciting as that sounds, 198 00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,709 I already sold all my TV time 199 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,971 for the next month to Trevor. 200 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:17,366 Oh, you did? So did I. 201 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,108 I also sold Trevor my TV time. It was part of some 202 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,110 elaborate plan of his I didn't understand. 203 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,460 The plan's actually quite simple. 204 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,941 I bought everyone's TV time. 205 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:30,031 And now I have a monopoly for the next month. 206 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,686 And I'm gonna use it to watch classic '90s 207 00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:36,428 figure skating rom-com The Cutting Edge on repeat. 208 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,256 [talking over each other] 209 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,954 Relax, relax. All you have to do is 210 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,652 buy your TV time back from me... 211 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,698 at a huge markup, of course. 212 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,527 Trevor, why are you doing this? 213 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,616 To level the playing field. 214 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,879 After this, I'm going to have so many back rubs, 215 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,185 it's gonna be like Burke Williams in here. 216 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,492 -HETTY: What is that? -Who's Burke Williams? 217 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,624 -ALBERTA: Is that a bank? -You may not understand that reference, 218 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,669 but trust me, it is apt. 219 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,628 JAY: Hey, babe, check it out. 220 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,500 See? Look. You can see the Farnsbys' 221 00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,502 top floor from this window. 222 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,026 I noticed it recently after Sass's tree got cut down. 223 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,812 -Sorry about that, Sass. -Oh, he's not here. 224 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,901 Oh, okay, well, then, I am feeling... 225 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,903 -Hetty? -Let's not do this. 226 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,427 So... how will Thor speak to Bjorn? 227 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,863 Well, if you stand here, 228 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,952 then I will get Bjorn to stand by that window, 229 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,388 then you two could yell at each other. 230 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:26,957 Yes! I can yell at my son the way my father yell at me. 231 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,916 Except it would be out of love 232 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:32,354 and not anger that I eat all the ram's testicles. 233 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,138 Okay. Be on this spot in one hour. 234 00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:35,836 We just need to figure out some excuse 235 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,186 to get into the Farnsbys' house. 236 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,405 I'm sorry, did you say "ram's testicles"? 237 00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,451 I don't even want to know. 238 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,322 Is Norse delicacy. 239 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:47,456 I wonder if Bjorn likes... Did you ask him this? 240 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,500 It didn't come up. 241 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,112 Big surprise. 242 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:53,680 TREVOR: 375 back rubs for Friday night. 243 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,421 400! Sold to Alberta. 244 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,597 Yes! Oh... [chuckles] 245 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,076 It's a steep price, 246 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,035 but at least I'll get my Jason Momoa fix. 247 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,864 And we will be watching certain scenes in slo-mo. 248 00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,344 Aka slo-Momoa. [chuckles] 249 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:09,260 Not my best work, but I had to get it out of my head. 250 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:12,437 What if, instead of bidding against each other 251 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:15,440 and driving up the price, we form a coalition? 252 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,355 Utilize the power of collective bargaining? 253 00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:18,443 Oh, like we form a union. 254 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:21,185 I did not use the U-word. 255 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,449 I am simply suggesting, if we band together 256 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,191 and agree not to buy any TV time, it becomes valueless. 257 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,366 And Trevor will have nothing. 258 00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,107 Okay. So, 259 00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:30,891 what are we supposed to do, just watch 260 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,283 The Cutting Edge over and over? 261 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,502 The guy loses his peripheral vision 262 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,721 and can't play hockey 263 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,723 but he can still figure skate? 264 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,028 Doesn't make any sense. 265 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,073 PETE: Okay, maybe we don't watch TV 266 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,465 at all. 267 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,858 Like the good old days, you know? 268 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,818 Trivia, charades, sharing secrets... 269 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,384 [whispers]: I don't like mustard. 270 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,561 You won't be able to last without TV time. 271 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,781 You'll be back. You'll all be back. 272 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,043 No, Trevor. 273 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,479 Not if we stick together. 274 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,525 Because together... 275 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,094 ...the power belongs to the people. 276 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:03,010 Oh, I hate myself. I really hated saying that. 277 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,533 How's Thor's hair? 278 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,101 What about scar, hmm? 279 00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,580 Thor, he's not gonna be able to make out 280 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,105 those tiny details from that distant window. 281 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,541 But he also won't smell the wolf urine, 282 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,585 so it all evens out. 283 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,762 Just so nervous and excited. 284 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,199 Is biggest moment of Thor's life. 285 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,983 What are you gonna yell about with him first? 286 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,116 I don't know, just... 287 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,249 So many questions, I... know so little of him. 288 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,382 Well, Samantha made some notes 289 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:28,949 from the conversation. Let's see here... 290 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,212 He lived in... 291 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,431 unpronounceable town with far too many consonants 292 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,303 with his wife, Alma. 293 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,696 [laughs] 294 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,350 No, that wrong. That name Danish. It... 295 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,265 must be mistake. 296 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,267 Oh, no, no, no. No, that's what it says here. 297 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,748 He had three children: Magnus, Inger and Lars. 298 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:50,187 But those also names of Danes. 299 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,321 Oh, dear. 300 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,410 Bjorn... 301 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,585 married Dane. 302 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,630 [soft chuckling] 303 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,068 Is deepest betrayal. 304 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,332 Bjorn is... 305 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,116 traitor. 306 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,031 Well, you know, so was Benedict Arnold, 307 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,033 but he was still a delightful dinner party guest. 308 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,427 Thor, who cares who he married? 309 00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:13,558 Bjorn's your son. 310 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,778 No. 311 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,127 This is where you're wrong. 312 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,915 Thor have no son! 313 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:23,917 Well, this is gonna make 314 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,266 -for an awkward reunion. -Yeah... 315 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,013 So, how long do you think this is gonna take? 316 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,623 I don't know, Jay. This is my first time 317 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,799 having to get a ghost Viking to a designated scream spot, 318 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,062 where he will reunite with his father after a thousand years. 319 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,499 Ballpark? Five minutes? 320 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:42,326 [knocking] 321 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:43,850 [door creaks] 322 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,286 Weird. It's open. 323 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,206 Oh, my God, Henry, it's Sam and Jay. 324 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:55,078 I told you. Hello, please come in. 325 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,776 Hi, uh, we came to return your lamp. 326 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,516 And I know you don't take returns... 327 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,301 That is so cute. 328 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,042 But you didn't have to make up an excuse 329 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,000 to come to our little get-together. 330 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,349 Oh, you have company. 331 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,829 Uh, sorry to interrupt. 332 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,223 Oh, no, no. We're so glad you could make it. 333 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,790 May I please use your bathroom? 334 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,182 Yes. Yes, of course. 335 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,402 And don't worry, we won't start without you. 336 00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:16,317 Thanks. [laughing] 337 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:21,975 Come with us. Our friends will be very excited to meet you. 338 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,847 Everybody, this is our neighbor Jay 339 00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,240 and he's here for the party 340 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:29,243 with his wife, Sam, who's a blonde. 341 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,636 [laughter] 342 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,378 Oh, how I hate the first Wednesday of every month. 343 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:39,035 Okay, so that's my house over there. 344 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,733 Your father should be appearing at that window at any moment. 345 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,567 Oh, I see someone. 346 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:53,441 Hello! Bjorn is here! 347 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,226 [distantly]: It is Bjorn! 348 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:59,360 Just a moment! Thor'll be right here! 349 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,971 Tell him I'm very excited! 350 00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,886 He's equally excited! 351 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,845 Of that, I can assure you! 352 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,890 A Fin, I could live with that. 353 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,675 A Swede, disgusting, but fine. 354 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,199 But why Dane? 355 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,810 Why you do that to me? 356 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,334 Dude, Denmark is actually pretty cool. 357 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:19,902 I mean, I've never been, but I used to buy Whippets 358 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:23,210 from a Danish guy at Dead shows and he was really cool. 359 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,255 ISAAC: Okay, Thor. It's showtime. 360 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,344 Your son is waiting for you. 361 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,303 I said I don't want to talk to him. 362 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,001 Thor, he traveled half the world and waited 363 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,308 a thousand years just to find you. 364 00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,137 That's more work than I put in to meet David Crosby. 365 00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:39,226 Thor not care. ISAAC: Can you imagine 366 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,532 the disappointment he is going to feel right now 367 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,143 if you abandon him? 368 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,666 You are his father. 369 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,713 -You're right. -Oh... 370 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:53,370 He is under the impression that I am his father, 371 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,198 so I will speak to him, 372 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:59,246 and tell him he is no longer my son! 373 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,379 Okay. It feels like you're deliberately twisting my words. 374 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,424 [sighs] 375 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,817 I miss Whippets. 376 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,255 [sighs] 377 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,387 How are you doing, Trevor? 378 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:13,347 Me? I'm awesome. 379 00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,088 Nine and a half Cutting Edges in, 380 00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:16,524 and it just keeps getting better. 381 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:19,135 Are you sure? You look a little glum. 382 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,485 Man just lost his peripheral vision. 383 00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:23,313 Of course I'm a little glum. 384 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,141 But exclusively about that. 385 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:28,884 Tell me, when you were alive... 386 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,453 ...why did you want to make money? 387 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,889 Excuse me? 388 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:34,977 Let's say you had not died 389 00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:37,284 tragically young and without pants 390 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,938 and you had made all the money you'd ever wanted. 391 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,461 what would your life have looked like? 392 00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,115 Paint me a picture. 393 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,944 Okay. Um... 394 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,293 I'm in a glass-bottom pool 395 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,425 on top of a skyscraper that I own, 396 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,514 and Kid Rock is there and he's deejaying, 397 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:51,689 but not because I'm paying him, 398 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,735 because he's just there 399 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,519 and it happens spontaneously. 400 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,565 And we have an epic party. 401 00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:01,003 And afterwards, I make love to my wife, Tara Reid, 402 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:04,833 and post-coitus, together, we watch The Cutting Edge. 403 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,313 Duh. 404 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,271 It seems like money 405 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,578 wasn't just about money, then. 406 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,188 It was about friends. 407 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:15,191 About having someone to share it with. 408 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,584 I guess so. 409 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,456 But now, your pursuit of wealth 410 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,763 has left you all alone. 411 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,940 Take it from someone who actually was rich. 412 00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:27,987 It's lonely at the top. 413 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,033 The question you have to ask yourself is... 414 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,427 ...is it worth it? 415 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,521 JAY: Hold up. 416 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,175 You have a toy room, too? 417 00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,133 I love how excited you are about this. 418 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,309 Sam thinks I'm a freak for having one. 419 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,746 You know, I wasn't into it at first, either. 420 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:49,965 You just gotta play around a little bit 421 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,575 till you find the ones you like. 422 00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,839 [chuckles] Can we trade wives? 423 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,407 Uh, and on that note, ladies and gentlemen, 424 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,061 the time has come. 425 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,932 Is this because I didn't breastfeed you? 426 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,717 [ringing] 427 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,634 What you doin', Margaret? 428 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,028 Oh, um... 429 00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,116 [giggles] 430 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,206 Ah. 431 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,732 After some careful consideration, I have decided 432 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,212 to give everyone their TV time back. 433 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,517 What's the catch? 434 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,345 No catch. 435 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:23,564 It's just, someone made me realize that 436 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,566 while money is important, 437 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,350 it's not as important 438 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,700 as friendship. Aw. 439 00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,267 I had all the TV time in the world, 440 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,269 I just didn't have anyone to share it with. 441 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,793 Alberta... 442 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,057 I believe tonight's pick is yours. 443 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,971 Aquaman. Then, if there's time, 444 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,191 select scenes from Game of Thrones. 445 00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,019 And you know the ones I'm talkin' about. 446 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,282 Have a seat. 447 00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:49,068 Proud of you for learning the right lesson, buddy.[sighs] 448 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,374 Alberta, I'll give you 200 back rubs to watch Bodices & Barons. 449 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,420 -Wait, what? -Sold. 450 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,683 Hetty, you didn't mean any of that stuff you said to me? 451 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,293 You just tricked me into giving up my monopoly? 452 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,338 That's right. 453 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:00,079 And what about your speech? 454 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,819 You said that friendship was more important than wealth. 455 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,431 No, I said you need to ask yourself that. 456 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,260 I have and I know the answer. It's wealth. 457 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,957 [chuckles] Oh, it's wealth. 458 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,306 That's why she's the top dog. 459 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,352 There's no low she won't stoop to. 460 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:15,920 It's time to watch the baron glance at his mistress. 461 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:19,185 The glancing, oh, how I love the glancing. 462 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:22,971 ISAAC: Thor, wait... 463 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,842 Bjorn! Are you there? 464 00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,149 Yes, I'm here! 465 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,109 Thor, please don't say something you can't take back. 466 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,414 Bjorn! 467 00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,590 I have something to tell you! 468 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,766 What is it, Father? 469 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,421 [distantly]: Hello? 470 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,727 Father? 471 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,123 Come on, you can do it. 472 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:47,126 Say, "Father." 473 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,693 BJORN: Hello? 474 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,652 Father! 475 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,784 Are you still there? 476 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,310 I am here, son! 477 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,834 BJORN: What did you want to say? 478 00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,705 That... 479 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,230 I love you! 480 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,275 Thank you for coming to find me! 481 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:07,798 I love you, too! 482 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,062 Okay! 483 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,543 Good talk! 484 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:15,763 Yes. Yes, great talk! 485 00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:16,851 [laughs merrily] 486 00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:19,114 That's... That's it? 487 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,856 -We gotta get out of here. -Jay, 488 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,423 the sweetest thing happened. 489 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,729 Yeah? Do you think we can climb out that window, 490 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,035 or should we just jump? 491 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,210 Can't we just go down the stairs 492 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,429 and walk out the front door? 493 00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,213 Okay. 494 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,433 Take my hand, close your eyes 495 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:37,045 and whatever you do, don't touch anything. 496 00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:47,969 JAY: Oh. We got an email from the Farnsbys. 497 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,754 Apparently, we've been invited 498 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:54,062 to their Christmas Toga Party this year. 499 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,151 That is chilling. 500 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,631 [chuckles] 501 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,328 Sam. Hello? [inhales] 502 00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,938 Sorry, just a little distracted. 503 00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,679 They steal silverware! 504 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,465 It's very important to know! Look, Thor. 505 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,728 I think it's great you're reconnecting with your son, 506 00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,165 but maybe you could do it during daylight hours. 507 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,688 Making up for lost time. 508 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,387 You see, I realize it is not Bjorn's fault 509 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,432 that he married Dane. 510 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,479 Children not born with hate in their heart, 511 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,830 they must be taught it and I was not there to teach him. 512 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,441 [sighs] 513 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,008 Night, babe. 514 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,097 THORFINN: Now let's talk hygiene! 515 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,273 Danes, very dirty! 516 00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,796 They never wash undercarriage! 517 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,937 Captioning sponsored by CBS 518 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:46,984 and TOYOTA. 519 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:51,075 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org