You really think that when Martha sees his face
in the newspaper, she won't call
one of her journalist friends?
Your husband's instructions
were to have you stay here.
I'm keeping her away from phones and newspapers.
Oh...
- Martha? - Oh, God.
- Can you hear me? - Get away from me!
- Martha! - Aah!
Please don't hurt me. Please don't--
Ahh.
I don't see him
being in charge of this, do you?
This is definitely a professional outfit--
big bank roll, dry runs--
- Lookouts. - Lookouts?
You're saying Liddy might be our man on this?
There are two men here to see you
- from the FBI. - Okay.
It's only a matter of time
before they bring me in-- Hunt too.
Nixon fired Mitchell.
When I heard what they did to you out here.
I submitted my resignation.
That loudmouth bitch wife of his
was becoming too much of a liability.
You're at the center of this now.
What's a stewardess from L.A.
doing on a D.C. dating service?
Why don't you just go and take care of
whatever this is that's going on
that you need to take care of?
This box contains highly sensitive material
that could be very damaging to the president.
The bureau's handled.
Rose Mary specifically said
president really wants to get to know me.
Look out, Strom Thurmond,
there's a new swingin' dick in town.
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
Yo, lookin' good!
- Morning, Mr. Dean. - Morning.
- Gentlemen. - How are ya?
♪ Hollywood ♪
- Ladies. - Good morning.
Have a lovely day, Mr. Dean.
- ♪ Ah ah ♪ - Good morning.
Hey, sweetie, how are you?
All the better for seeing you. Is Dick in?
He's been expecting you.
He's just finishing a meeting with Mr. Butterfield.
Great.
- Gentlemen. - Hey there, sport.
Warmed him up for ya.
- How's that Porsche? - Not selling it to you
anytime soon.
- Sir. - John.
Thank you.
♪ Whatcha got to say ♪
Thank you, Rose Mary.
♪ Say hey ♪
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Whatcha got to say ♪
♪ Hollywood ♪
♪ Hollywood swingin' ♪
♪ Hollywood... ♪
He didn't know how it was gonna be handled,
though, with Dahlberg and the Texans and so forth?
Who is the asshole that did it, then?
Is it Liddy? Is that the fellow?
He must be a little nuts.
Yeah.
I mean, he just isn't well screwed on, is he?
Isn't that the problem?
But he was under... pressure,
apparently, to get more information.
and as he got more pressure,
he pushed the people harder to move harder on--
Pressure from Mitchell?
Apparently.
Oh.
Mm.
Aah!
- Aah--aah-- - Don't fuckin' move.
Aah!
Mm-mm.
Ohh.
CBS news coverage
of the Republican National Convention.
Reporting from CBS News
convention headquarters in Miami Beach,
here is correspondent Walter Cronkite.
A coalition of protest groups planned demonstrations aimed at
blocking the entrance of delegates
to provide a confrontation
that could not be ignored by the media
at the same time that--
Well, Miami Beach...
Mosquitoes down there so big,
you can tame 'em and keep 'em as pets.
Remember that, Martha?
Hmm? - ...area
What was that? - ...and that keen access
Yeah, the mosquitoes.
In Miami. - The idea is simple.
Right. Size of Oldsmobiles.
You feelin' all right?
It's nothin'.
Well...well, I'm gonna call Dr. Feldman
and make an appointment for you.
You haven't been sleeping well.
It's this awful town.
We could go back to New York.
- Marty. - Why not?
Dad got fired from his job at the White House.
- We can move anywhere. - Daddy did not get fired.
Daddy left voluntarily to spend more time with his family.
That's not what they said on TV.
They said that you were held hostage
- and it was all Dad's fault. - Rubbish.
And that the whole thing was a farrago.
Farrago?
- A real bitch. - Marty!
Language, young lady.
California was not your daddy's fault.
No reason to dwell on the past. We just gotta... move on.
Dr. Feldman. Yep.
That's what you need.
And what do we say
if we are asked questions by the press?
No comment.
...can make you feel like your old self again.
Is it true you were held against your will?
...start talking about what happened at the...
Oh.
It's fine, just a...
a misunderstanding with a bodyguard.
Diazepam.
Martha, a sedative is not gonna help your nerves.
The only thing that's gonna help is actually
talking about what happened to you in California.
Mitchell is outta politics. We got out clean.
Why would I let one little innocent mistake ruin all that?
You called me, screaming.
And now I am tellin' you I wanna move on.
This is the man who did this to you.
I know you don't wanna say anything more to the press,
but he's out there telling his side of the story,
and he is not moving on.
He's saying that none of it ever happened.
If you keep quiet, other people will do the talking for you.
In case number 15B72A-74,
conspiracy to commit burglary and wiretapping...
how do the defendants plead?
Not guilty, Your Honor.
I'll make this brief.
We're in a holding pattern.
But the expectation is
we're the fire line for the administration.
Sirica's a hangin' judge.
We could be lookin' at 15, maybe 20 years here
for a B&E.
And?
Shouldn't we have assurances from the president?
Clemency?
Or a pardon?
Sorry. Pollen season.
I'll see what I can do. Anything else?
The bureau-- hear they got
a couple of, um, agents pokin' around, so I don't--
Don't you worry about the FBI. We got a man on the inside.
Kay.
Bigger than Langley.
It's giant.
Oh, so the, uh...
this CIA theory of yours.
Well, it's all in the 302 report,
but, uh, several of the burglars have been
attached to agency operations over the years--
especially Hunt and McCord.
And Hunt--get this.
He had an office in the White House
- with a safe in it. - Wha--
You're kidding me. All right, we-we have to look into that.
Have you met Mark Felt?
He's the guy who wanted my job,
but now he just hangs around the office
like the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Just performing my duties
- as associate director, sir. - Ugh, just behold the spirit.
He wears the chains he forged in life!
That's actually--
Marley's ghost... said that.
What?
In-in the story.
Marley was Ebenezer Scrooge's partner--
Well, Hunt's office at the White House
may indicate that there are higher-ups involved,
but can you... corroborate any of this?
Not yet. We would need to interview John Dean
and the leadership at CREEP.
That means Mitchell, uh, McGruder, uh, the--
Kay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
This is not the Gestapo.
We can't go swinging at the former attorney general
or the- the White House counsel like a piñata, okay?
So no Dean, no Mitchell,
no McGruder thereof.
Well, sir, that's why we thought we'd start
by interviewing the lower level employees first--
anyone not in a leadership role.
Copy boys, secretaries,
accountants.
Do you have a problem with that, Pat?
No... Mark, I don't have a problem with that.
This is a giant frickin' problem.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
I mean, we're screwed. We are so screwed!
What the fuck, Pat? You--
I specifically told you to keep your agents away from CREEP.
It's not my fault.
They were relentless-- I had to give them something
or it would have looked suspicious in front of Felt.
Fuck!
So they're comin' today.
Wh-which agents?
Lano and the other one.
It's only a matter of time
before they figure out what's going on.
I-I can't call them off.
They're your agents, Pat.
You're the director of the fucking FBI!
I-I don't appreciate that language.
Look... I gotta go, okay? I'll deal with it.
- I don't like that langua-- - I said
I will deal with it.
Well, that didn't sound handled.
So...
...two of Pat Gray's agents are coming by today
to conduct interviews at CREEP.
- What? - Yeah. He said he can't
credibly call 'em off without raising suspicion.
The guy's fucking useless.
Well, of course he is. He's one of our appointees.
Well, I'll-I'll sic Moore on it.
Whoa, whoa. Dickie Moore, the little leg-fucker
that follows you around like a sentient herpe?
No, absolutely not. You're handling this.
No, th-the president wants me to sit next to him
on the flight to Miami.
The president would want you to see this through.
Trust me.
And try to wrap things up quick.
One of our big donors, Ken Dahlberg,
is throwing a convention party tomorrow night
at the Shore Club, and he wants you there.
Me? For--f-for what?
He's one of the guys that funded Operation Gemstone.
So you play your cards right,
he'll finance your presidential run one day.
Don't worry.
We'll save you a seat on Air Force One
for the return flight.
Look at this.
A right triangle between the participants.
That's gonna unbalance the subject
and give us candid responses.
I'd go equilateral. It--
like this here.
It sets the subject at ease. It opens 'em up.
Nice and easy.
One adjustment.
Equilateral in appearance...
scalene in reality.
Gentlemen.
I don't believe we've officially met.
You must be Agent Lano and young Agent Magallanes.
So you mind if I pull up a chair?
Mr. Dean, we didn't know you'd be joining us today.
Ah, well, I'll be representing all of the employees
for the Committee to Re-elect the President.
- As of when? - Today.
Just now. A second ago.
All right. Fine.
Miss Abrontes.
Thanks for coming in today. How are you doing?
Uh, let me stop you right there.
Miss Abrontes has agreed to this interview
on the condition that it be fast, fair, and focused.
If we could keep the questions to a professional nature,
that'd be fantastic.
Very well.
Miss Abrontes,
wh--what would you say
the organizational mentality is like here
at the Committee to Re-elect?
Miss Abrontes doesn't feel comfortable answering questions
dealing with the general hierarchical makeup
of the Committee to Re-elect.
If we can keep the questions to specific empirical fact,
I'd appreciate that greatly.
What kinda work did you do for the campaign in the past,
Mrs. Frankel?
I'm sorry, have we stipulated
what range of dates is meant by "the past"?
So for the entire time that you've worked
for the Committee for the Re-election of the President--
He hasn't.
- He--what? - He hasn't ever worked
at the Committee for the Re-election of the President.
He's worked at the Committee to Re-elect the President.
Next.
Thank you.
"Don't answer that." So don't answer anything?
Go. Go.
Is he doodling?
This guy's doodling.
Sir...
A-are we done?
'Cause I gotta use the head somethin' awful.
Can I use the head?
What are you asking him for?
He's not conducting the interview--we are.
Yeah, go.
Ohh.
Mr. Gonzalez, have you seen anyone unusual
working in the office in the past few weeks?
No.
Have you seen any suspicious documents being shredded?
Money perhaps? Sequential bills?
No.
Señor Gonzalez...
Do you sleep hanging by the feet like a bat,
or continuously swimming like a shark?
Yeah, okay.
You can go.
Fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Tony, Daniel, Ronald, Ruth, Dan, Roni, Bill,
Kathy, Elaine, Sally...
Judy Hoback.
And, Miss Hoback, you have no further information
on campaign funds in your role as bookkeeper.
Is that correct?
Nothing comes to mind.
- That's a big surprise. - And, uh...
what are the dates on that?
Just so we know when the, uh,
nothing of interest occurred.
If it's all right with your counsel, of course.
Of course it is. Thanks for asking.
That was... February of this year
to the present, I believe.
Other than the time in which I was working for Mr. Liddy.
Liddy?
- That's all the time we have. - Hold on.
You worked for G. Gordon Liddy?
Wait a minute--hey, just-just give us a minute.
- ...busy afternoon. - No, no, no, no.
- One minute here. - We've been more than
accommodating.
Now, if you'd like to submit more questions,
I would encourage you to do so in writing.
That is, unless you'd like me to
take the matter up with Director Gray personally.
- That won't be necessary. - No?
No.
Thank you so much for all your time.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
Miss Hoback.
Oh, and, Agent Magallanes.
Don't forget to get your parking ticket validated.
Sometimes people forget
and they end up having to pay a fortune.
Right. Thank you for the tip. I appreciate it.
Mm-hmm.
Slimy motherfucker.
Look at him.
Right. Where the fuck do we go now?
Cool.
So how'd it go with those FBI buttholes?
Should've seen them-- terrible haircuts,
cheap polyester suits.
They have no idea with whom they are fucking.
Stop it, man, you're making me horny.
Yeah, I bet.
Hey, uh, how's the convention?
It's great. You know, they sat me in your seat, actually,
- next to the big guy. - Are you-are you
fucking kidding me? Then wow.
Mm-hmm. Nixon himself.
And let me tell ya something. He is my kinda asshole.
We talked for, like, a hour. I started in about bowling.
He lit up like a schoolgirl.
Wow, really? That--well, that is groovy.
Congrat--congrats.
Hey, when are you gonna get down here?
Because, uh, I heard Ken Dahlberg
is having a big party at the Shore Club.
- Gonna be a wild scene. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know, I know, I'm, uh, I'm catching the red-eye.
Okay, good, good. Just, uh, stop by my room.
We will get ripped before Agnew's speech, okay?
Yeah. Hey, uh, do me a favor.
Don't fuck all the birds, all right?
Save some for me, okay?
- Hell yeah, you horny dog.
Get your ass down here and get that pussy, buddy.
Owwooo!
Ow-owooo!
Owwoooo!
Ow-owooo!
All right, well, I'll talk to you later, man.
Yeah, I'll see you soon. Bye.
Mm. Hmm.
Hello?
Hey there, stranger. What's happening?
Oh, sorry, who is this?
What? It's--it's John.
John... John Dean.
Sorry, am I--am I catching you at a bad time?
John.
Um... I just cut myself.
I'm trying to figure out a can opener, and I--
Is it a General Electric?
- Is it what? - The can opener.
'Cause if-if it's not, you-you should throw it out.
You should get a General Electric.
They've got a--a safety guard. I've had mine for years.
It's really, really great.
Are you-are--what is happening?
Are you selling can openers now?
No, um, I'm sorry, um...
how-how are you?
I'm so good, I'm... I'm great.
How are you? How's Miami?
Miami is...
nice, it's-it's nice.
I don't have any time to myself.
I've been... tagging along with the president.
Really?
Yeah, I rode with him on the-on the plane,
you know, the... ...Air Force One.
I-I know what Air Force One is.
I'm a fucking flight attendant.
Sat next to him at the convention last night,
you know, talked about bowling.
You know what? I'm actually busy right now.
Is there something specific you needed?
Yeah, well, actually, I-I-I'm gonna be
stopping through L.A. on my way to Shanghai
on the 15th and just wondered if I could take you to lunch.
Yes! No.
No.
- Oh. - I'm going sailing.
With... Billy.
We're going to Catalina.
Billy.
Yeah. He's a friend from work.
Right, sure, yeah, okay.
Well, you know, maybe another time.
Maybe. Maybe another time.
Hey, hey, before you go, before you go,
I just wanna say, um...
Oh, for fuck's sake.
It's not my purpose here
to recount the great changes
that have been made by the Republican Party
under President Nixon. It--
Hey, I was watching that.
No more politics, darling.
No more inaugurations, no more conventions.
Just blowin' up balloons. And the red ones, please.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Could you bring the gold down over the blue?
I want 'em together.
Yes, and then raise the whole thing up a little bit.
Exactly. That's nice.
Sweetheart?
Did somebody deliver these pills from the pharmacy?
Uh, yes, uh,
Dr. Feldman called.
He was worried that you might have forgotten
to pick up your prescription,
so I sent Zolton out to get it.
For your nerves, dear.
And the whole time I'm thinking, hell,
John set me up good this time.
Sounds about right.
Anyway, I, um, I wander over
and I take a seat in his golf cart.
He sits down, and Spiro has no idea what to do about it.
Hang on. You mean he-he plays along?
He plays along, and not only that, get this.
They play a round.
We played half a round
before I realized I showed up on the wrong day.
So I just helped myself to a game
with the vice president.
I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
Did he let him win?
Did ya let him win?
What have you done to it?
What have you done to its eyes?
He has his father's eyes.
Shoot.
Ow! Ow!
What are you talking about?
Guy's eyes are normal!
All right.
Okay.
Here comes the carpet. Yeah.
Okay.
- Ow. Ow! - Okay. Okay.
Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, don't hurt me!
- Ah--leave me alone-- - Come on, come on.
It's okay, you're okay. Go to bed.
What time is it?
- We're home? - Oh, bedtime. Bedtime.
What time is it?
- It's bedtime. - Okay.
Step.
- Okay. - Where's the railing?
- I'm your railing. - Okay.
- Okay. Okay. - Okay.
- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
Four more years!
- Name? - Dean.
John Dean. We're guests of Mr. Dahlberg.
I might be on there as his plus one.
Right this way.
This guy's a donor?
Basically funded Operation Gemstone.
He could buy and sell us both, wholesale.
He's like an Italian viscount.
Oh, my God.
Welcome to the big boy club.
John, this is the best day of my life.
John Dean?
Is that you?
Haldeman said you had a head of hair, but Jesus!
Would you look at this kid? Like a Kennedy...
- Oh! - ...with that head of hair!
- Who are you? - Dickie Moore, sir.
Special counsel.
Ah. One of those.
Have a good night, son. Go play.
- Ah. - So...
how you enjoying your first convention?
- Ha. - It is your first, right?
Ah. You got kinda a virginal look about you.
Oh, sorry, I, uh, ha...
Haldeman didn't exactly tell me
the precise nature of the, uh, get-together.
It's a compliment.
People love a fresh face around here.
You never know--next big thing could be you.
Oh. Ha. I...
I don't know about that.
I-I-I'm just a simple junior counsel, is all.
Oh, come now.
Don't be modest at a fuck party, son.
It's unbecoming.
Hey, Kennedy. Over here.
It is the best time in American history
to be a woman.
Yeah? You really think so?
President Nixon has done so much more
than any other president
to make America safe to be feminine again.
I just think he's so, um...
enlightened.
- Oh, I see. - Mm-hmm.
That's a really interesting point, Candy.
Enjoying yourself, Dean?
Oh. Yeah-y-yes, sir. Yeah.
- I mean... - Shit.
- Uh... - Ooh.
That's nice.
Ahh...
Oh.
I mean, I-I had heard that stuff like this
happened at the convention, but holy crap!
We have a good time, son.
Now, about that business of ours.
I'm gonna say this once. I'm not gonna say it again.
Y'all need to get these squints off my back.
Scuse me?
The FBI. They've been poking around.
Asked about my name on certain checks
that were used to finance certain operations
in the Committee.
I don't want you to worry, Mr. Dahlberg.
I speak with the full authority of the presidency
when I say that the, uh, the agents in question
are being closely monitored.
You know, I remember guys like you from the service...
riding a desk while guys like me
were out putting their lives on the line.
You know what we called guys like you?
Butterbars.
Two fat yellow bars
and a paycheck for doing nothing at all.
- Ah--uhh-- - Now, you listen here,
Butterbar.
I don't need some horse shit assurance from you
about the powers of the presidency
because I'm smart enough to know
that you speak for Nixon
about as much as Miss Topeka over there
speaks for the NAACP.
I just need you to tell me
you're gonna make my problem go away--copy that?
Yes. Yes, sir, I'll make it disappear, I promise.
It's gone. It's gone.
Attaboy, Dean.
Now... go enjoy yourself.
Night's young.
Christ, if I had your looks in my day,
I would've knocked up half this town.
I'm a single mother, okay?
I have a good job. I don't want any attention.
I don't think you have to worry, Miss Hoback.
- You're doing the right thing. - Y-you gotta understand,
these people have been following me for weeks.
What people?
Who knows? White House? CIA?
FBI?
- It's not the FBI. - No, I don't think it's FBI.
I can tell you that much.
You two really don't know
what you're dealing with here, do you?
You think these institutions you've dedicated your life to
are set up to carry out justice?
To protect people?
Well, they're not.
They're set up to shield people from justice.
To protect certain people from accountability.
Mm. To protect the...
the elites, the wealthy, right?
Not just them. The shameless.
The ambitious.
The complicit at every level.
There is something terrible going on at CREEP...
and every one of those bastards was in on it.
Mitchell, Magruder, McCord, Haldeman.
Whoa, whoa. Haldeman?
As in the president's chief of staff?
H-how do you know all of this?
This can't be traced back to me, okay?
You have to promise.
Judy, we don't sell out anyone who does the right thing.
You have our word.
When Gordon Liddy was hired,
I was assigned to help him settle in.
Mailbox keys, parking spots, stuff like that.
I even had to help him
get his stupid poster boards printed up
for his stupid meeting.
What meeting?
Something about sabotaging the Democrats.
Operation Gemstone.
He terrified me, you know.
Liddy.
I'm--I've had bosses who were cruel, sadistic,
but with Liddy it was something...
deeper, something...
in his eyes like an...
endless cave.
Did Liddy ever speak to you directly
- about Operation Gemstone? - God, no.
Of course, he couldn't shut up
about all his weird social theories...
...brain folds and bloodlines
and malum in se.
Malum in what?
- Malum in se. - Malum in what?
Malum in se.
The act of evil in and of itself.
The cold-blooded murder of a child, for instance.
Primal, natural evil.
It stands in direct opposition
to malum prohibitum,
the laws of man.
It's these new moral reckonings that will purge the Earth
of the weaknesses brought on by sycophantic
modern-day... sodomites.
You look very nice today, Judy.
Talk to you later.
He really believed this shit, you know.
He thought he was some kind of crusader
on a holy mission.
But if every evil is justified
because it's done in the pursuit
of some sacred truth...
then laws don't matter anymore, right?
The people don't even matter.
How can a society function like that?
How can people live together
without a shared understanding of right and wrong?
Beginning to think you wouldn't show.
What's the pillowcase for?
Oof--hooh--
Heard you called Hunt the other day, good buddy.
The rumor is, you're still looking for assurances
from our president.
But the thing is...
we're soldiers.
There are no...
assurances.
No pardons, no clemency.
You copy?
I can't hear you.
I copy!
Now, you hear me good, you fuck.
If you ever threaten to squeal again,
it'll be the last time you ever squeal.
Do you copy?
I-I copy. Yes.
Yes--uhh!
Are you certain there's not a little...
Juden rat in you?
Hmm?
I swear I can smell
a little rat in there somewhere.
What the fuck?
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Hi. W-it's the middle of the night.
- Are you okay? - Oh, I-I--yeah.
I-I'm sorry.
- I just-- - What's going on?
I-I was at this party tonight,
and the whole time, I was thinking about
what I told you earlier about the can opener.
The c--uh, the can opener?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. J-just hear me out.
Maybe I was being a little rash
when I told you to throw it out, you know,
because I-I get that way with appliances sometimes.
I get scared, you know, I...
And maybe it's the routine that scares me
or-or the thought of having
one can opener for the rest of my life.
And even if I like a certain can opener
and can't imagine the rest of my life without it,
I do this thing where I just wanna throw it all away.
And... and instead of sticking with what I have
a-and building on something, you know,
I-I just...
I look for a new can opener and...
I just want you to know I hate that part of myself.
I really do, and...
...I'm sorry about that,
about the... about the can opener.
Hey, John...
...don't ever call me again.
Thanks to Miss Hoback,
we finally connected Dahlberg's campaign checks
to a secret fund.
This fund was set up inside
the Committee to Re-elect with the expressed intent
of funneling money to a secret political espionage unit.
- Jesus Christ! - Now, if Miss Hoback
is correct, John Mitchell
personally had control of the fund.
And the web of conspirants went all the way up
to the president's chief of staff.
We need to move fast on this, start with the higher-ups.
We don't wanna lose the element of surprise.
Well, there's no point in losing the element of surprise.
Well, if there's nothing else, I've got a 2:00.
Um, Mark will help you with logistics,
- and truly great work. - Thank you, sir.
- Really. Congratulations. - Thank you, sir.
- Mark. - Absolutely.
Heavenly Father,
guide me through these treacherous waters
and deliver me safely to shore.
This is Louis Patrick Gray
asking for Your loving hand.
Amen.
Peggy, can you get the White House?
- Here you go, sir. - Thank you.
Ooh--
How are you?
Just a little... tipsy.
...helicopter which has arrived
at the convention hall on the helicopter pad
back behind the hall here
with Mrs. Nixon and the president, uh, emerging.
Turn that darn thing off.
Extraordinary how he does that.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, hello, darling.
You know the gentlemen from my firm.
I know the gentlemen.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, and the birthday boy.
I know you.
My sugar bear.
Mmm. Sugar bear, birthday bear.
- How are you? - Well, thank you.
- How are you, how are you? - Very good.
- And you! - Okay...
- Are you asking me to dance? - The gentlemen
are talking about football because of...
- Football. Okay. - Oh, okay.
You tease.
He's teasin' me. Yeah, teasin' me.
Oh, she is spirited.
You're a lucky man.
Where's my little bag from the pharmacy?
Tula put it under the bar.
- You're my favorite. - Oh, thank you, ma'am.
Ooh.
Thank you, Dr. Feldman.
To John Mitchell
on the occasion of his retirement from politics.
Jesus, could you imagine being married
- to that woman? - No.
Fuckin' mop soaked in alcohol, that one.
What an embarrassment for the poor guy.
I heard he begged to stay on the campaign.
Phil told me Nixon's already blaming him for Watergate.
Nobody gives a shit about Watergate.
Not yet, but when the lights come on,
Mitchell will be the one holding the bag--trust me.
Probably be happy to go to prison
to get away from Martha.
And tonight, I will not ask you
to join our new majority
because of what we have done in the past.
I ask your support of the principles
I believe should determine America's future.
The choice...
the choice in this election
is not between radical change and no change.
The choice in this election
is between change that works and change that won't work.
I begin with an article of faith.
It has become fashionable in recent years
to point out what is wrong
with what is called the American system.
You're never gonna believe this shit.
This better be good, Mark.
You're gonna wanna hear all of this,
and you're gonna wanna put it in your little paper.
Can you believe this shit?
It's all gonna come back on her.
Who?
On Judy. She's exposed.
She's not exposed. What do you mean, she's exposed?
She's in the paper.
It's not like they're gonna assassinate a bookkeeper.
Okay, well, that's not the point, is it?
We gave her our word, Angelo.
If people can't count on us,
who are they supposed to count on?
Would you calm down, please?
Relax. We're gonna be fine.
Look...
the arc of the moral universe is long...
but it bends towards the good guys.
I promise.
Sorry.
You want some cake?
No, thanks.
Maybe you could take some to those reporters out there.
They're probably hungry.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Before I read your provisional sentencing statement,
is there anything any of the defendants would like to say?
No, Your Honor.
Very well, then.
The crimes you stand convicted of here today
are relatively minor in relief.
A simple break-in. A harmless bugging.
No physical damage.
But make no mistake-- there was damage.
You could say nobody got hurt,
but the nation itself was wounded.
Because it's not the criminal act that matters here today.
It's the rot it reveals underneath.
Now, 100 times
on the cheeks to bring the life back.
- Count for me. - Something is
irreparably altered when good men lie
to protect the powerful.
See the life coming?
Because every lie we allow
erodes our sense of the truth.
How do I do it?
Until we become not just liars
but we become the lie itself.
Gentlemen, I'm no fool.
I know this didn't start with you.
but in the absence of concrete evidence,
I'm afraid it will most likely end here.
I sentence you to the maximum penalty
allowable under federal law-- 30 years in prison.
We'll reconvene
in two months' time to formalize sentencing.
All rise.
Y'all gonna just stand around,
or you wanna ask me some questions?
Mrs. Mitchell, Mrs. Mitchell, is the president planning
on making your husband a scapegoat?
My husband has done everything to protect Mr. President,
among many others, I might add,
and they have all let him down.
Attagirl, Martha.
Mr. Mitchell has become the fall guy.
Should the Nixon administration
be afraid of you, Mrs. Mitchell?
Well, I think you know the answer to that,
Claire Crawford.
You know, I used to hate that woman,
but she is starting to grow on me.
It's a Cuisinart.
It's a food processor. It--
It's supposed to be the best at-at-at...
processing foods.
"For slicing, blending,
"chopping, shredding, grinding, mincing,
grating, mixing"--what--
This thing is great!
♪ Will a lady Pin me in her hair ♪
"Your hands will thank you."
♪ Will a child Find me by a stream ♪
Well, at least somebody will.
♪ In the sunny shower ♪
♪ Kiss my petals And weave me through a dream ♪
Mr. Mitchell and I first came to Washington
to help this country.
I'm a doer--I don't just sit around and do nothin'.
And if you don't do your own talking for yourself,
someone is gonna do it for ya in this town,
isn't that right?
Now, if y'all excuse me,
I'm gonna go have breakfast with my family.
And there's a little birthday cake upstairs.
I'll send it down for you folks.
- Don't worry, I didn't make it. - Mrs. Mitchell,
just one more question.
♪ Ring all the bells Sing and tell the people ♪
♪ Everywhere that the flower Has come ♪
♪ Light up the sky with your Prayers of gladness ♪
♪ And rejoice For the darkness is gone ♪
♪ Throw off your fears Let your hearts beat freely ♪
♪ At the sign That a new time is born ♪
♪ May mosaydee kaylie Lowya roses ♪
♪ May mosaydee Kaylie lowya roses ♪
♪ Say money ain't Na na no oh na ♪
♪ Mmm mm-mm ♪
♪ Looking for vayda Tay breeze ♪
♪ Looking for vayda tay Breeze ♪
♪ May mosaydee kaylie Lowya roses ♪
♪ Mmm mm-mm ♪
♪ For all of these simple Things and much more ♪
♪ A flower was born ♪
♪ It blooms to spread Love and joy ♪
♪ Faith and hope To people forlorn ♪
♪ Inside every man ♪
♪ Lives the seed of a flower ♪
♪ If he looks within ♪
♪ He finds beauty and power ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Ohhhhh ♪
♪ Na na na na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na, na-na-na Na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na, na-na-na Na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na, na-na-na Na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na, na-na-na Na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ Na na na, na-na-na, Na-na-na ♪
Four more years! Four more years!