1 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,158 Let me be clear. 2 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,528 To truly grasp man's struggle for power... 3 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,731 we must begin in the prehistoric sea... 4 00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:33,300 that dark and merciless void. 5 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,804 It was eons before the strongest among us 6 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,306 slithered out of the muck to discover 7 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,243 that the lessons of darkness would continue on land. 8 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,414 Futility. Toil. 9 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:50,518 The mass of men spend their days plowing stones. 10 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:55,322 But true immortality rests in a pure and mighty will... 11 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:59,059 for history isn't written by the feeble masses, 12 00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,795 the pissants... 13 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:05,099 commies, the queers, and the women. 14 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,301 It is written and rewritten 15 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,070 by soldiers carrying the banner of kings. 16 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,341 That is what it means to be strong. 17 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,680 That is what it means to be American. 18 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,185 That is what it means... 19 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,154 ...to be Nixon. 20 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,638 You know her as one of the most outspoken 21 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,841 conservatives in Washington. 22 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,809 You've seen her on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In 23 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,611 and The Dinah Shore Show. 24 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,213 Ladies and gentlemen, 25 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,714 the wife of the Attorney General 26 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,316 of the United States, 27 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,685 the infamous Mouth of the South, 28 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,220 Martha Mitchell. 29 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,499 Well, welcome, Mrs. Mitchell. 30 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,467 I hope you are ready to tell the whole truth 31 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,835 and nothing but the truth. 32 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,537 Well, if you're gonna put me on the stand, 33 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,805 I better have my lawyer present. 34 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,542 Now, Martha, 35 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,477 I have heard the rumor that your husband was made 36 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,380 the director of the Committee to Re-elect the President. 37 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,883 Yes. And I am the secret weapon. 38 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,851 I bet you are. 39 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,553 Fuck, she is cheesy. 40 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:36,690 Martha Mitchell all dressed up like a holiday ham. 41 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,759 Nice smile, though. 42 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,160 I can dig on that smile. 43 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,428 And a orangutan. 44 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,398 She's an idiot and a lush. 45 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,667 Why are you leaving all of a sudden? 46 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,336 Stay. We can watch some Password. 47 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,872 - Oh, yeah? - Do the thing... 48 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,707 - again. - That sounds nice. 49 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,543 But my boss doesn't exactly understand 50 00:02:55,576 --> 00:03:00,314 the, uh, finer points of the long lunch. 51 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,449 Oh, yeah? Who's your boss? 52 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,584 Mm. 53 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,453 That is on a need-to-know basis. 54 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:10,190 Well, thank you. It's fascinating. 55 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,760 Oh, hold up. 56 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,595 You work for Nixon? 57 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,897 Oh, you're big-time. You know, I knew it. 58 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:19,600 The second I saw this place, I thought to myself, "Wow. 59 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,535 This guy right here, he's big-time-plus." 60 00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,870 Well, you're the expert. 61 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,939 - Who's your superior? - What? 62 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,341 Who do you report to at the White House? 63 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,244 Haldeman? Ehrlichman? Hess? 64 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:34,982 Colson? Atwater? Buchanan? Chapin? Fleming? 65 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,317 You know a lot of people. 66 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,586 Honey, it's my job to network... 67 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,287 among other jobs. 68 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,755 At least you're at the Oval. 69 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,858 You could be stuck with those headless turkeys over at CREEP. 70 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,427 CREEP's the Committee to Re-elect-- 71 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,329 The President. I know what CREEP stands for. 72 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,698 I actually spend quite a lot of time over there. 73 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,366 - Yeah. - Ah. 74 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,634 I used to work for the guy who was gonna be 75 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,868 Nixon's new campaign chair. 76 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,404 John-boy? Oh, my God! 77 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,473 You tell him Francesca says hi. 78 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,542 You know John Mitchell too? 79 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,410 Sure I do. He's a dear friend. 80 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,312 Hope he's keeping up with all that spring cleaning 81 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,514 - over there. - Wait. 82 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,682 Spring clean--You-- 83 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,754 You think h-h-he-- Is he pushing people out? 84 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,656 I didn't say that. 85 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,391 I didn't not say it either. 86 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,627 ♪...for you and me ♪ 87 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,678 You are wanted. 88 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,714 You are essential. You cannot be fired. 89 00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:01,435 ♪ Well, down on the Street where the faces shine ♪ 90 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,308 ♪ Floatin' around On a real O-Mind ♪ 91 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,516 ♪ I see a pretty thing ♪ 92 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,852 ♪ Ain't no wall ♪ 93 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,388 ♪ I see a pretty thing ♪ 94 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,060 ♪ Ain't no wall ♪ 95 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:33,734 ♪ No walls ♪ 96 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,918 ♪ Look at you ♪ 97 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,968 A $52 phone call? 98 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,937 Who the fuck is Martha talking to 99 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,139 at two o'clock in the morning in Los Angeles? 100 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,974 Uh, Lloyd Shearer at Parade. That would be my guess. 101 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,843 He's a known subversive leftist. 102 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,044 Cocksucker. 103 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,445 Not sure about that, sir, 104 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,380 but I can pull up his file if you'd like. 105 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,118 I was explicit with her. 106 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,754 No solo interviews this close to the election. 107 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,092 Any luck tracking down my wife? 108 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,962 She hasn't returned from her taping yet, sir. 109 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,964 But I have John Dean here for you. 110 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,634 Oh, God. Yeah, send the fucker in. 111 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,839 Dean, you flaxen-haired dog. How you doing, buddy? 112 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,407 - Yeah, good to see you. - You take a seat. 113 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,576 - Sir. - Dean. 114 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,411 You look well. 115 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:55,916 So, uh, I was told you wanted to see me about something. 116 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:56,884 Oh, yes. 117 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,186 Uh, as you know, we're gearing up for what promises to be 118 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,754 a grueling reelection campaign. 119 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,991 And as such, we are currently reevaluating 120 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,494 certain select personnel. 121 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,062 "Reevaluating"? 122 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,131 Yeah, that's right. Hey, tell me something. 123 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,100 Where do you see yourself in a year? 124 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,835 Where do--in a... 125 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,604 Hmm, that's a- That's a great question. 126 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,740 Um... 127 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,975 Well, let me start by saying, 128 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,577 I have very much valued the opportunity 129 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,078 to help implement the president's vision. 130 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,581 And I would urge you to remember my loyalty 131 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,550 when considering my continued service 132 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,219 in whatever capacity that service might be needed, 133 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,189 uh, going forward 134 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,758 forthwith... 135 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,626 in the future. 136 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,863 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 137 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,865 I think he thinks this is 138 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:48,001 some kind of spring-cleaning situation, sir. 139 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,003 Wait, what? 140 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,939 So you're not recommending that I be fired? 141 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,073 No. Gosh, no! No. 142 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,942 We brought you in here because we've uh-- 143 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,477 we got a kind of special opportunity for you. 144 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,979 - Oh. - Yeah. 145 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,781 Wow. Okay. Um... 146 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,583 I assume you're aware of the Intelligence Unit 147 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,851 that was set up in the Oval 148 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,519 after this whole Pentagon Papers fiasco? 149 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:06,787 Right. The Plumbers. 150 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,055 Yeah, that's- that's right. 151 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,958 Uh, there's a CIA reject named Howard Hunt. 152 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,626 He's the main guy over there. 153 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,761 And they're currently graduating 154 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:19,066 from rooting out leaks to, uh, rat-fucking the Democrats. 155 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,869 And there is a desire 156 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:25,606 to enact a uh, similar operation 157 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,075 on the campaign side of things. 158 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,512 You mean you want to set up an espionage unit... 159 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,848 here, inside the Committee to Re-elect 160 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,283 to spy on the Democrats? 161 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,051 - Oh, heavens, no, no. - No. 162 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,620 Espionage? That's a--that's-- 163 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,121 that's a big-- that's a serious word. 164 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,524 No, we're talking about simple intelligence gathering. 165 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,095 I see. Um... 166 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,564 Nixon has 19 points on the Dems. 167 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,065 The election is practically in the bag. 168 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,868 Why would we risk that kind of legal exposure? 169 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,603 It's not our job to ask why. 170 00:08:56,637 --> 00:09:00,007 If men like us asked why, we wouldn't have the pyramids. 171 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:04,978 Swollen wet vaginas. 172 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,316 We are good men. 173 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,184 We are men of integrity. 174 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,819 But we come 175 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:17,057 from our mothers' swollen wet vaginas 176 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,159 with flaws. 177 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:23,030 And a time comes where we need to employ those flaws 178 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,132 to defeat our enemy. 179 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,168 We must become snakes. 180 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,977 I see, uh... 181 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,245 Well, look... 182 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,985 ...I'm not sure that it would be prudent for me 183 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,956 to pursue any... 184 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:52,793 snake behavior for you... 185 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:56,229 at this specific point in time. 186 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,666 Hmm. 187 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,069 Shit. 188 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,338 Well, I'll tell the president. 189 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,239 Sorry, the--the president? 190 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,275 Who the fuck do you think asked for you? 191 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,810 President Nixon asked for me? 192 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,011 Well, to be clear, 193 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,713 the president would never involve himself 194 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,014 in anything illegal, but, yes. 195 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,315 It's a damn shame. 196 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:18,051 We thought maybe you were one of us, but... 197 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,186 you can go. 198 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,725 Diana, get Bob Haldeman for me. 199 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:29,363 I think I may potentially know how to charm the snake. 200 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,164 - I think I know a guy. - You know a guy? 201 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,366 - I know a guy. - Oh. 202 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:35,635 Bud Krogh's guy, Gordon... something. 203 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,937 H-h-he'd be perfect 204 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,206 for an intelligence-gathering operation of this scope. 205 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,676 He's high logistical savvy, genius-level IQ, Mensa type. 206 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,145 - Sounds like our type. - Liddy. Gordon Liddy. 207 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,381 That's his name, uh, Gordon Liddy. 208 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,383 If you were to hire him, 209 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,919 say, as a general counsel... 210 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,423 ...I could get him settled in. 211 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,258 Show him the ropes. 212 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,995 And I could answer any... 213 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:06,400 election-compliance questions that he might have. 214 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,106 He's good, isn't he? Didn't I say he's good? 215 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,075 Mr. Mitchell? 216 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,710 I have your wife on the phone. 217 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,211 She says she's about to go into a magazine interview. 218 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,880 Sick--Okay, get the fuck out. 219 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,048 What the two of you still doing here? 220 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,282 - Yes, sir.. - Go. Go, go. 221 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,318 Uh, thank you. Thank you, sir. 222 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,154 Martha marshmallow. 223 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,289 What's this I hear about an interview? 224 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,024 Hey, Dean, Dean! 225 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,259 Hold on. One more thing. 226 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,062 We're gonna want, um, your, uh, Liddy friend 227 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,464 to wrangle up a little presentation for the group, 228 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,266 just a run-through of potential... 229 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,134 Martha, you are not listening... 230 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,737 ...intelligence gathering, you- you know, 231 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,972 - Espionage targets. - Right. 232 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,340 So, uh, next Thursday morning? Is that okay? 233 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,742 Next Thursday? 234 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,110 It's a little tight, I know, but Mitchell, 235 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:54,081 he's stretched so thin with the, you know, wife. 236 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,415 I've told you, no solo interviews 237 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,984 that haven't gone through the campaign. 238 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,720 - M-Martha, what did I tell you? - So Thursday? 239 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,489 Hmm, yeah. Oh, absolutely. No problem. 240 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,925 Terrific. Terrific, Deano! Fabulous. 241 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,493 Martha? 242 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,828 Martha! 243 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,132 Right there. 244 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,735 Oh, why, thank you, dear. 245 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,904 And could you please get a martini for Ms. McLendon? 246 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,306 Oh, no. No, thank you. 247 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,074 I-I don't usually drink with my interview subjects. 248 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,276 Mr. McCord here, he doesn't drink on the job either. 249 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,846 I don't trust him one bit. 250 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,814 Uh, with a twist. 251 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,316 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 252 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,817 Now, where were we? 253 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,119 Uh, well, I was ask-- 254 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,522 Oh, have I shown you my vases? They're Chinese. 255 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,191 Yes. Uh, I was asking if there's any truth 256 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,193 to the talk that your ease with the press 257 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,195 has soured your relationship with the president. 258 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,763 A vicious rumor. 259 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,800 I am the one who introduced Dick to my husband. 260 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,369 So there's no concern that you're overshadowing Nixon? 261 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,872 You make me sound like an old oak tree. 262 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,407 Would you ask such a question to Kissinger? 263 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,842 With all due respect, 264 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,211 Kissinger doesn't have a 76% name recognition 265 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,446 with American families--you do. 266 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,548 Well, someone should tell that to Pat Nixon. 267 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,918 She has been double-booking our events to make a point. 268 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,420 Just this week, I had to reschedule a fundraiser 269 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,957 just to satisfy her lust for the spotlight. 270 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,792 Right on. 271 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:16,396 Let's get the vase in the frame now and the portrait. 272 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,134 This won't be the first time 273 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,936 I've had to be glamorous under my husband. 274 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,173 Uh, Mrs. Mitchell, just because I write 275 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,507 for the Ladies' Home Journal doesn't mean 276 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,409 that this isn't a real interview. 277 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,479 A couple months ago, you spoke out against the war. 278 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,881 And I'm wondering if your husband 279 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,149 or the president has-- 280 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,585 Oh, you spoil me. 281 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,087 Look at that. Thank you. 282 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,189 There you are. 283 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,491 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 284 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,361 Winnie... May I call you Winnie? 285 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,397 - Sure. - You want to know why 286 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,532 I've made these comments against the war? 287 00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:54,935 Well, it's because my own boy, Jay, 288 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,903 is over there in that godforsaken jungle 289 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,471 fighting for his life as we speak, 290 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,308 surrounded by men who are trying to kill him. 291 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,510 Do you know what that's like? 292 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:07,414 Just constantly worried that he might not make it home? 293 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,119 Oh, dear. 294 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,387 Who is it for you? 295 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,524 My little brother. He's... 296 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,126 I see. 297 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,262 We are empathetic creatures. 298 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,396 Yes. 299 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,966 Now, some people see that as a weakness. 300 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,402 But I decided long ago that I will say how I feel. 301 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,004 And if that does not conform 302 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,472 to the president's message, so be it. 303 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,474 If that gets me banned off Air Force One, 304 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,409 I will fly commercial. 305 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,550 So you were banned from Air Force One? 306 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,220 - Oh, you're good. - I do want to hear that story. 307 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,455 You caught that. 308 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,123 We can get back to the real questions, but-- 309 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,492 Where are you? 310 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,594 We're in the sitting room, cupcake. Put that away. 311 00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,896 McCord! Where's McCord? 312 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,365 Yes, sir. 313 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,967 Would you kindly escort these people 314 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,936 the fuck out of my home? 315 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:03,970 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 316 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,305 That's okay. 317 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,573 Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. 318 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:07,907 - Thank you. - Sorry about this. 319 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,376 No, thank you so much. 320 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,286 Have you gone insane? 321 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,022 I told you, no more print interviews. 322 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,057 Oh, it's a ladies' magazine. 323 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,226 They were asking me about the curtains, for Christ's sake. 324 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061 Oh, I know exactly what you're doing. 325 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,297 You're just trying to take the spotlight from Pat Nixon. 326 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,232 I would never. Let me do this. 327 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,001 Do--do you really think that she, in a million years, 328 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,269 would plan her concert 329 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,104 just to be on the same night as your party? 330 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,639 It's a fundraiser, 331 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,342 for her husband's campaign, by the way. 332 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,644 And, yes, I think she absolutely meant to do it. 333 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,446 Oh, it's a misunderstanding. 334 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,682 The Bay of Pigs was a misunderstanding. 335 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,183 This is an encroachment. 336 00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:53,186 Oh, for fuck's sake. 337 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:56,489 I had to reorganize everything. 338 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:59,225 The caterer, the flowers, 339 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,361 all because you don't know how to stand up 340 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,263 to your boss' wife. 341 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,367 At least Pat Nixon knows how to support her husband. 342 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,537 That's not what I heard. 343 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,405 Maybe if she stopped talking behind my back, 344 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,609 she might find a more fruitful use for that mouth of hers. 345 00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:21,748 Are you implying that the first lady 346 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,185 isn't blowing her husband enough? 347 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,252 What? 348 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,488 No! You're disgusting. 349 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,522 Oh. 350 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,624 She wouldn't know where to start. 351 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,761 But I do. 352 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,565 I know right where to sta-- 353 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,667 Okay, stop it. Stop it. 354 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,035 Don't I? 355 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,670 Stop it, Martha. I'm really angry this time. 356 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:44,738 Oh, all right. 357 00:16:47,741 --> 00:16:49,409 I'm sorry. 358 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,782 How can I make it up to you? 359 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,094 That'll be enough. You can stand down. 360 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,496 Yes, sir. 361 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,041 Mm. 362 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,309 I thought he'd never leave. 363 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,648 - Welcome home. - Mm. 364 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,762 He should be done with his call any moment now, Mr. Liddy. 365 00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:44,764 Are you sure you don't need anything? 366 00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,499 No, thank you. 367 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,236 What's your name? 368 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,338 Uh, Linda. 369 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,076 Gordon. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 370 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,245 Great to meet you. Finally put a face to the name. 371 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,548 You ready? Let's walk. 372 00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,187 These pitches always wind me up. 373 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,855 You nervous? 374 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,524 Oh, I don't experience human neuroses. 375 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,795 I actually feed off these moments. 376 00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:20,400 There's a wild and manic energy to them, animal energy. 377 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,369 Hmm. 378 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:29,609 Ouch. What happened there? 379 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:33,680 I was sourcing operational recruits... 380 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,149 Cubans. 381 00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:40,687 I needed to show them that I am what the Spanish call macho. 382 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,524 So I placed my hand into the-- 383 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,860 the short flame of a candle and held it there 384 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:49,429 until the room smelled of roasting flesh. 385 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,567 Only then were they willing to call me their jefe. 386 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,874 Gentlemen, as you know, 387 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:04,310 our president faces a daunting campaign season. 388 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:08,381 For that reason, I've devised a plan for covert operations, 389 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,250 the likes of which our electoral system 390 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,584 has never seen. 391 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,587 I present you... 392 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,359 ...Operation Gemstone. 393 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,529 The Gemstone, 394 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,732 brilliant, sparkling... 395 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,934 impervious. 396 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,570 I have crafted an integrated strategy 397 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:34,741 meant to function seamlessly in enemy territoire. 398 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,744 Phase one... 399 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,445 Operation Quartz. 400 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,881 - A covert manipulation-- - Oh, quartz-- 401 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:44,684 uh, quartz is actually a mineral. 402 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:45,752 Excuse me? 403 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,387 Uh, quartz is actually a mineral. 404 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,521 It's not a gemsto-- 405 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,558 I took a little geology at, uh, Williams, 406 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,259 which I briefly attended. 407 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,462 But I-I just love rocks. Please proceed. 408 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,933 Operation Quartz... 409 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,235 a covert manipulation 410 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,270 of the Democrats' outer circle. 411 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,607 We will round up their fringe activist leaders 412 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:12,478 and export them to black sites deep in the heart of Mexico. 413 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:16,849 Each capture will slice a viper from Medusa's crown. 414 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:20,920 Their leaderless ranks will wither away. 415 00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:24,624 Is that "export" as in kidnap? 416 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:28,328 "Forced rendition" is the optimal descriptor. 417 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,363 Next up... 418 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,599 ...Operation Ruby-- 419 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,902 the blood-red gem of a duplicitous woman. 420 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:40,340 The Democrats are weak, their women cold. 421 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:43,009 We will secure a pleasure craft 422 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,244 wired for sight and sound 423 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,880 and sailed to the Democratic National Convention, 424 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,350 where we will capture their officials 425 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:54,287 enjoying the company of women trained in the erotic arts, 426 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,756 some of the finest in the country. 427 00:20:56,789 --> 00:21:00,927 You want to film... 428 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,330 Democratic officials... 429 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:07,567 on a boat with hookers? 430 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:13,473 Call it a passion play for opposition leverage, sir. 431 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:16,743 Just out of curiosity, how many of these gemstones 432 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,778 are we going to be reviewing today? 433 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,680 Eleven. With four subparts. 434 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:23,316 And, uh, how much is this all gonna cost? 435 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:24,517 We're looking at a price point 436 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,819 between $50,000 and $100,000 apiece. 437 00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,488 Right. Just finger math-- 438 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:32,392 that's uh, way over budget, sir, astonishingly so. 439 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,060 And that will not be a problem, young man. 440 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,828 Oh, good. 441 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:37,563 I do hope you gentlemen have had a chance 442 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:38,931 to brush up on your II Corinthians, 443 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:42,535 because, well... 444 00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:44,804 this is where we get to play God. 445 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,908 My pitches are too ambitious? 446 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:55,548 Who in the fresh hell does Mitchell think he is? 447 00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:59,419 You see the way he looked at me when all was said and done? 448 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:00,687 Uh, no. I didn't catch that. 449 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,321 I'll tell you, like a rat at his feet. 450 00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:05,925 It was like vomit. That's how he looked at me. 451 00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:09,562 You know, t-those guys can be very indelicate, uh, sometimes. 452 00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:11,631 I wouldn't take it too- too personally. 453 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,600 And Magruder-- that little pissant... 454 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:19,072 ..."Quartz is a mineral." 455 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,707 He's lucky I didn't snap his spine 456 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,375 right in the fucking room. 457 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,080 Um... 458 00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:33,019 What did you think? 459 00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,454 What? 460 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,089 Of the pitch, what did you think? 461 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:39,459 You can tell me. I'm--I can take it. 462 00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:44,931 What did I think? I-I-I-I-I really liked it. 463 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,767 I-I knew it! 464 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,103 I saw your body language in the room, and I knew-- 465 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,437 I knew Dean liked it. 466 00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:52,872 What was your favorite part? 467 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,407 My favorite? 468 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,677 Um, gosh, you know, th-- t-there were a lot of elements. 469 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,878 You know, I loved the-- 470 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:01,013 T-the cheerful font was very interesting. 471 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,482 I did the font. 472 00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,117 - Great, uh... - I came up with the font. 473 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:07,153 Yeah, look, let me pitch you something. 474 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:15,595 How about you and I never talk about this ever again, 475 00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:16,829 ideally? 476 00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:24,971 Okay, compadre. 477 00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,506 Enough said. 478 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,778 I do. I really like this one. 479 00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:33,980 I think that's nice, dear. 480 00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,685 ♪ Let's fly away ♪ 481 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,956 ♪ And find a land that's warm and tropic ♪ 482 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,525 We are in for a night. 483 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:46,926 You. 484 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,996 Whenever he has on tails, this happens. 485 00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:52,698 It does. Whenever you put on your tails... 486 00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,934 ...it makes you crazy. 487 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:59,172 - It's Daddy dancing time. - [Martha, laughing] Aw... 488 00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:01,607 ♪ And find a land that's so provincial ♪ 489 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:05,878 ♪ We'll never hear what Walter Winchell ♪ 490 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,613 ♪ Might be forced to say ♪ 491 00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:10,683 I need a zip here when you're done, Fred Astaire. 492 00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:13,486 Yes, ma'am. Think we can hear mother now. 493 00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:17,990 Shimmy it up. 494 00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:20,660 Ooh. 495 00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,129 There it is. Look at that neck. 496 00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:24,864 There's a tiny little hook. 497 00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:27,033 Now, that's a neck. That's... 498 00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,035 that's a neck I'd like to neck. 499 00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,739 I can't get that... 500 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,543 - Lovely. - Love you. 501 00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:11,177 ♪ I'll make your life sublime ♪ 502 00:25:11,210 --> 00:25:13,679 Pat sure has made a statement seating us back here. 503 00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:14,947 I can't see a thing. 504 00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:17,617 And, honey, you know it was no accident. 505 00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,151 ♪ I'll take up all your time ♪ 506 00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:23,256 ♪ Compromising you ♪ 507 00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:24,724 ♪ Let's not delay... ♪ 508 00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,592 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 509 00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,728 the President and Mrs. Nixon present 510 00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:30,630 the Ray Conniff Singers. 511 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,101 ♪ New York is not for me ♪ 512 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:40,573 ♪ Let's fly away ♪ 513 00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:48,281 President Nixon, 514 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:50,249 stop bombing human beings, 515 00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:52,585 animals, and vegetation. 516 00:25:52,618 --> 00:25:53,953 You go to church on Sundays, 517 00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:55,288 and you pray to Jesus Christ. 518 00:25:55,321 --> 00:25:57,123 If Jesus Christ were here tonight, 519 00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:59,725 you would not dare drop another bomb. 520 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:02,862 Bless the Berrigans and bless Daniel Ellsberg. 521 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,664 Get her off the stage! 522 00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:17,143 Sorry about that, Mr. President. 523 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,979 Looks like someone needs to go back to finishing school. 524 00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:22,882 - Let's move along, shall we? 525 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:23,916 Ladies... 526 00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:33,326 Maureen? 527 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,794 Hey, John Dean. 528 00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:36,796 - Hi. - Hi. I am so sorry I'm late. 529 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:37,930 That's fine. 530 00:26:37,964 --> 00:26:39,231 It's not some first-date power move. 531 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:40,866 You know, things have been nuts at work... 532 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,969 - You know what? It's Mo. - Traffic and--what? 533 00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:44,337 You can just call me Mo. 534 00:26:44,370 --> 00:26:46,939 Uh, the dating service suggested that I use Maureen... 535 00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:48,174 Oh, Mo... 536 00:26:48,207 --> 00:26:49,308 ...'cause I guess they thought people would make... 537 00:26:49,342 --> 00:26:50,643 - Like the Stooges? - ...a Stooges joke. 538 00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:51,911 What? Oh. 539 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,279 So sorry. 540 00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:55,614 You're doing the Stooges-- I didn't--No, I-I remember. 541 00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:59,051 - Good. - Yes. 542 00:26:59,085 --> 00:27:01,687 - Stooges. - Um, so-- 543 00:27:01,721 --> 00:27:04,690 Hi, hello. How are you know? Now, I'm gonna give you these. 544 00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:06,926 It's for the, uh, Dijon Porsche out front. 545 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,694 Now, there's not a scratch on it right now. 546 00:27:08,728 --> 00:27:10,363 And that's how I want to find her when I come back, okay? 547 00:27:10,396 --> 00:27:12,198 I'm gonna take special care of you, okay? 548 00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:14,333 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you so much. 549 00:27:14,367 --> 00:27:15,868 Your table's ready. 550 00:27:15,901 --> 00:27:18,371 All right. Thank you. 551 00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:22,208 Mele Kalikimaka. That's the thing to say. 552 00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:24,810 In blood, chained to the door of County Animal Control, 553 00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:27,380 and I am screaming, "No more pets have to die!" 554 00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:28,647 I'm sorry. 555 00:27:28,681 --> 00:27:30,016 "No more pets have to die." 556 00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:33,219 And then 20 minutes later, I, uh-- 557 00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:35,221 I find out I-I have the wrong address, 558 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,156 and I am chained to the dentist's office next door. 559 00:27:37,189 --> 00:27:39,158 No! 560 00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:41,260 I guess I was a-a young man with conviction. 561 00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:42,895 So what can I say? 562 00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:44,764 You know, it's embarrassing to even think about it. 563 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:47,066 No, no, it's so cute. 564 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:54,407 You know, I'll be honest, at the start of the night, I... 565 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,075 I thought I was in real trouble. 566 00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:59,211 Oh. Why is that? 567 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:01,113 Well, I don't want to burst your bubble, 568 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:05,184 but you don't exactly make the best first impression. 569 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:06,852 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 570 00:28:06,886 --> 00:28:09,722 You seemed like you were gonna be a huge piece of shit. 571 00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:11,323 Oh. 572 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:15,361 Well, that's funny, because you kind of seemed 573 00:28:15,394 --> 00:28:17,263 stuck up and weird. 574 00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,031 No, I didn't. 575 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,933 You're right. 576 00:28:20,966 --> 00:28:23,903 You seemed great from the beginning. 577 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:28,274 So what's a stewardess from L.A. 578 00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:30,976 doing on a-a D.C. dating service? 579 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,978 I'm doing research. 580 00:28:33,012 --> 00:28:36,816 I'm thinking of doing some writing. 581 00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:38,818 You want to be a journalist. 582 00:28:38,851 --> 00:28:40,052 - Mm. - No. 583 00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,987 Someone didn't read my profile too closely. 584 00:28:42,021 --> 00:28:44,123 - Well, I-- - I want to write novels. 585 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:45,391 - Oh. - Romantic novels. 586 00:28:45,424 --> 00:28:46,459 Oh? 587 00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:48,394 Stop it. It's nothing smutty. 588 00:28:48,427 --> 00:28:50,329 No, no, no, that's-- that's fantastic. 589 00:28:50,362 --> 00:28:52,331 But, um... 590 00:28:52,364 --> 00:28:53,432 why D.C.? 591 00:28:53,466 --> 00:28:55,401 I mean, people come here for depth-- 592 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:56,802 No, I really like it here. 593 00:28:56,836 --> 00:28:58,170 - You do? - I- I don't know. 594 00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,438 People come here to make a difference in the world. 595 00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,307 - Well... - It's nice. 596 00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:02,775 I mean, God, I'm not naive. 597 00:29:02,808 --> 00:29:05,144 I know, everybody has to make compromises. 598 00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:09,081 And, well, you probably know that better than anyone. 599 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:10,416 What do you mean by that? 600 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,486 Come on. You know... 601 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:16,889 I'm--I'm not sure I do. 602 00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:18,924 I mean, um, i-it just must be difficult 603 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,392 working for a man like that. 604 00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:21,794 A man like what? 605 00:29:21,827 --> 00:29:24,296 A man like Richard Nixon. 606 00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:27,266 He's just a little bit of a liar, don't you think? 607 00:29:27,299 --> 00:29:28,868 Oh, right. 608 00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:31,837 And you think LBJ was some kind of Boy Scout? 609 00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:34,440 Well, Nixon really takes it to a whole other level. 610 00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:35,941 How so? 611 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,177 Uh, the stuff about ending the war, for one thing. 612 00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:39,845 He's drawn down troop levels by two thirds 613 00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:41,180 since he's been in office. 614 00:29:41,213 --> 00:29:42,815 I saw on the news he's increased bombings. 615 00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:45,518 Did the news also mention that he signed Title IX 616 00:29:45,551 --> 00:29:46,919 or established 617 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:47,987 the Environmental Protection Agency? 618 00:29:48,020 --> 00:29:49,355 Wow. 619 00:29:49,388 --> 00:29:50,890 You've really talked yourself into this, haven't you? 620 00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:52,992 Talked myself into what? 621 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,094 Um... 622 00:29:57,163 --> 00:29:58,364 Maybe this wasn't 623 00:29:58,397 --> 00:29:59,932 the best topic of conversation to bring up-- 624 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,200 - No, no, no, no, no, no.. - We don't have--John-- 625 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:03,002 What about you? What--what about you? 626 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:04,236 What about me? 627 00:30:04,270 --> 00:30:06,205 - Oh, come on. - Uh... 628 00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,040 You're just like all your liberal friends. 629 00:30:08,073 --> 00:30:10,943 You--you playact like you want to save the world, 630 00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:12,545 when all you really care about is finding a guy 631 00:30:12,578 --> 00:30:14,413 with enough bread to pick up the check. 632 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:25,124 Hoped you guys saved room for the Baked Alaska. 633 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,095 I must have been drunk when I said that. 634 00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:31,597 Now I've got Dick calling me 635 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,066 'cause he's got Kissinger up his ass again. 636 00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:36,602 I should have said no to Dick 637 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,905 the second he asked me to come play politics out here. 638 00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:42,508 Should have stayed in New York. Could have kept my practice. 639 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:45,578 Hmm. We'd still have our house Upstate. 640 00:30:45,611 --> 00:30:47,379 Remember when we used to drink 641 00:30:47,413 --> 00:30:49,081 a whole bottle of blackberry wine 642 00:30:49,114 --> 00:30:51,250 and watch the moon rise over the bay? 643 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:53,586 - I miss those nights. - Mm. 644 00:30:53,619 --> 00:30:56,355 I've got an idea. 645 00:30:56,388 --> 00:30:57,456 Let's catch a flight somewhere. 646 00:30:57,489 --> 00:31:01,060 We'll go to China, India, New York. 647 00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:03,262 Dick needs me, honey bear. You know that. 648 00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:04,997 The man's an emotional wreck. 649 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,166 Without me, he wouldn't get through to November. 650 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:12,605 Of course. Don't know what I was thinking. 651 00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:26,252 Hello? 652 00:31:26,285 --> 00:31:27,553 Winnie, honey. 653 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,154 You won't believe the night I've had, 654 00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:30,389 a protester crashed... 655 00:31:30,422 --> 00:31:32,057 Martha? 656 00:31:32,091 --> 00:31:33,459 ...the first lady's miserable social evening. 657 00:31:33,492 --> 00:31:35,027 Jesus, what time is it? 658 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:37,529 Poor woman. They had to drag her right off the stage. 659 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,298 How did you get my number? 660 00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:41,133 Of course, my husband had to leave me alone the whole night 661 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,635 'cause he's busy playing the middleman 662 00:31:42,668 --> 00:31:44,169 in this silly feud 663 00:31:44,203 --> 00:31:46,472 the president's got going with Henry. 664 00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,007 Henry? 665 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,643 As in, like... 666 00:31:50,676 --> 00:31:52,244 Henry Kissinger? 667 00:31:52,278 --> 00:31:54,179 I really shouldn't say. 668 00:32:15,968 --> 00:32:18,671 Father. May I? 669 00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:26,078 Raymond, what are you doing up? 670 00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:31,383 I was having bad dreams again. 671 00:32:33,218 --> 00:32:34,987 Are you okay, Father? 672 00:32:35,020 --> 00:32:38,324 Had a little whoopsie today at work. 673 00:32:38,357 --> 00:32:40,159 What kind of whoopsie? 674 00:32:40,192 --> 00:32:43,595 Remember when you were in art class 675 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:46,565 and Miss Grimmer caught you eating all the other kids' glue 676 00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:49,201 and all the other kids laughed at you? 677 00:32:50,402 --> 00:32:53,072 All the other kids laughed at me today, Raymond. 678 00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:08,387 Sometimes... 679 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:11,724 when the other boys at school laugh at me... 680 00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:14,393 Mother says I should make friends with them. 681 00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:18,063 She says there are good ships 682 00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:19,631 and wood ships 683 00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:22,034 and ships that sail the sea, 684 00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:25,571 but the best ships are friendships. 685 00:33:51,096 --> 00:33:53,432 Linda, would you put in a call 686 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:56,802 to, uh, ah, Harry Welch at the FAA? 687 00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,437 Have him send us any information 688 00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:01,473 he has on a registered flight attendant, Maureen Kane. 689 00:34:01,507 --> 00:34:03,308 Oh, and, uh, Liddy should be here any minute 690 00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:05,144 - for the meeting. - Uh, Liddy's already here. 691 00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:06,779 He arrived over a half hour ago. 692 00:34:06,812 --> 00:34:08,814 He's already here? Where is he? 693 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,315 Mitchell's office. 694 00:34:10,349 --> 00:34:12,050 - Jesus. - You want me to go-- 695 00:34:12,084 --> 00:34:13,619 I'm so sorry. 696 00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:15,053 Are they in there? 697 00:34:17,589 --> 00:34:19,491 Speak of the devil, and he doth appear. 698 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:20,526 What's the matter, Dean? 699 00:34:20,559 --> 00:34:22,161 You look like you just got caught 700 00:34:22,194 --> 00:34:23,462 butt-fucking your sister. 701 00:34:23,495 --> 00:34:25,164 I don't have a-a sister, sir. 702 00:34:25,197 --> 00:34:26,598 Um... 703 00:34:26,632 --> 00:34:28,600 are we celebrating something? 704 00:34:28,634 --> 00:34:30,836 Wow, sharp as a tack. Tell him, Liddy. 705 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,638 I ran into Mr. Mitchell this morning 706 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:34,339 on the way into the office 707 00:34:34,373 --> 00:34:37,776 and I had a few rough ideas for pared-down operations-- 708 00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,244 sketches really. 709 00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:40,712 Ah, don't beat yourself up. 710 00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:42,314 We made some adjustments. 711 00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:43,782 It was all you, Mr. Mitchell. 712 00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:47,152 He helped me come up with a whole new operation plan. 713 00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:49,755 This man truly knows his tradecraft. 714 00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:54,226 Sir, are you sure it's wise to be, um... 715 00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:58,430 casually discussing illicit activities in your office? 716 00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:00,599 Teacher's here. Fun's over. 717 00:35:00,632 --> 00:35:02,301 Well, no. 718 00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:06,505 Gordo, fabulous work. 719 00:35:06,538 --> 00:35:08,674 Just, uh, talk to Jeb. 720 00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:10,676 He'll take care of the logistics with you. 721 00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:13,212 Thank you, sir. 722 00:35:13,245 --> 00:35:15,781 Well, whatever you told that chowderhead 723 00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:19,751 to get him to drop the James Bond act, it worked. 724 00:35:19,785 --> 00:35:23,655 Well, I just, uh, showed him how to be a team player, sir. 725 00:35:23,689 --> 00:35:26,658 Hmm. Tell you what... 726 00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:28,827 my wife is doing a campaign fundraiser 727 00:35:28,861 --> 00:35:30,829 at our house Saturday. 728 00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:32,698 Why don't you come by? 729 00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:35,234 You know? For all your hard work. 730 00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:36,602 I'd be honored, sir. 731 00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,171 And bring a date-- something nice on the eyes. 732 00:35:39,204 --> 00:35:40,739 Right. Okay. 733 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,488 What the hell? 734 00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,423 Go, go, go. 735 00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:00,893 Mo. Hey. I can't believe it. 736 00:36:00,926 --> 00:36:02,561 I was just about to check in for my flight. 737 00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:03,896 And I was thinking, what are the odds 738 00:36:03,929 --> 00:36:05,564 I'd run into Mo Kane at the airport? 739 00:36:05,597 --> 00:36:07,499 And here you are. That is crazy. 740 00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:09,468 Huh, how did you find me? 741 00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:11,937 Well, I just--I saw you coming up the thing. 742 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,206 - Where's your ticket? - Excuse me? 743 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:15,741 You said you were checking in for your flight. 744 00:36:15,774 --> 00:36:17,276 You should have a ticket. 745 00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:18,510 Oh, right, ticket. 746 00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:20,412 Um, that-- that is a very good-- 747 00:36:20,445 --> 00:36:22,748 Oh, you know, shoot, I must have thrown it 748 00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:24,483 in the trash with my food there. 749 00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,218 Um, I have to get a new one now. 750 00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:27,519 Do you know the lady? Maybe you can-- 751 00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:28,854 You little psychopath. 752 00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:29,922 What? 753 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:32,257 Did you call the FAA? 754 00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:33,692 Call the-- 755 00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:36,261 No. What? No. 756 00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:37,930 Why would I-- why would I do that? 757 00:36:37,963 --> 00:36:39,398 To find out my flight schedule 758 00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:41,767 so you could manufacture a way to bump into me 759 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,602 in the futile hope you could apologize your way 760 00:36:43,635 --> 00:36:45,304 into a second date. 761 00:36:47,839 --> 00:36:50,475 Has this--has this happened to you before? 762 00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:52,344 It's a pilot trick. 763 00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:54,846 I have to say, it's never felt quite so pathetic until now. 764 00:36:56,982 --> 00:36:58,517 Mo. Wait, please. 765 00:36:58,550 --> 00:36:59,718 - John. - Please. 766 00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:00,986 You seem very nice. 767 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:04,323 Do you know what it is? I am looking for a man. 768 00:37:04,356 --> 00:37:06,558 And I can't waste my time with little boys anymore. 769 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:08,327 I know I was an asshole the other night. 770 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,394 Mm-hmm. 771 00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:10,529 But I want to make it up to you. 772 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:11,797 There's this fundraiser next weekend, 773 00:37:11,830 --> 00:37:13,565 and everyone who's anyone in D.C. is gonna be there. 774 00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:15,667 You want to take me to a Republican fundraiser? 775 00:37:15,701 --> 00:37:17,569 It'll be great material for your novel. 776 00:37:17,603 --> 00:37:19,271 And besides, we don't have to talk to anybody. 777 00:37:19,304 --> 00:37:21,273 We can just sit in the corner all night, 778 00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:23,508 drinking John Mitchell's scotch, making fun of people-- 779 00:37:23,542 --> 00:37:26,945 Um, John Mitchell? Martha Mitchell's husband? 780 00:37:26,979 --> 00:37:28,447 Yeah. Why? You--you like her? 781 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,349 She's completely insane. 782 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,651 I love her. 783 00:37:32,684 --> 00:37:35,988 So you will go with me? 784 00:37:36,021 --> 00:37:39,758 Um, I'm gonna think about it. 785 00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:42,561 I'm gonna see when the airline has me back in D.C.-- 786 00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:44,663 Thursday. I-I mean... 787 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,832 I hope they have you back on Thursday 788 00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:49,968 because that would be, uh... that would be perfect timing. 789 00:37:50,002 --> 00:37:52,471 Holy shit, man. 790 00:37:55,307 --> 00:37:57,843 - Do you have my number? - Leave it with the FAA. 791 00:38:17,429 --> 00:38:19,598 - Ahoy! - Oh! Ha ha! 792 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,566 What the-- 793 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,635 Mitchell sent me down to inform you 794 00:38:23,669 --> 00:38:25,837 he's approved of my plans. 795 00:38:25,871 --> 00:38:27,839 Now, before you fill your diaper, 796 00:38:27,873 --> 00:38:30,676 you'll be relieved to know that I've trimmed the budget 797 00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:33,011 to a manageable quarter million. 798 00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,579 Hey, well, that's fantastic news. 799 00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:35,614 That's great. 800 00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:38,750 Uh, only problem is, um... 801 00:38:39,885 --> 00:38:42,954 ...Mitchell doesn't control the purse strings around here. 802 00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:44,423 I do. 803 00:38:44,456 --> 00:38:47,426 So you're gonna have to make do with $200,000. 804 00:38:47,459 --> 00:38:49,861 That's--that's all we got. 805 00:38:49,895 --> 00:38:52,631 Do you think this is a joke? 806 00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:53,732 No. 807 00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:56,768 This operation requires 808 00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,604 untraceable foreign contractors. 809 00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,640 I need at least five Cubans. 810 00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:03,075 Cubans? Well, I mean, 811 00:39:03,108 --> 00:39:05,077 how- how expensive are Cubans these days? 812 00:39:05,110 --> 00:39:08,980 Why--just get cheaper Cubans. How about Puerto Ricans? 813 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,852 Hmm. 814 00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:17,723 You've never tasted your own blood. 815 00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:20,125 - Pardon me? - You haven't. Ah... 816 00:39:21,593 --> 00:39:23,562 I can tell. 817 00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:25,530 You know that? 818 00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:28,700 You don't know the first thing about passion, 819 00:39:28,734 --> 00:39:31,470 about el sangre de libertad. 820 00:39:31,503 --> 00:39:33,839 But you know who does? 821 00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:37,909 Those magnificent men you just maligned. 822 00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:38,944 - Yeah. - They know. 823 00:39:38,977 --> 00:39:40,045 God, I got to tell you, 824 00:39:40,078 --> 00:39:42,547 I-I don't appreciate your tone, Gordo. 825 00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:43,582 No. 826 00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:48,920 They are freedom fighters, you fuck! 827 00:39:48,954 --> 00:39:50,789 Please let go of me, you psychopath. 828 00:39:50,822 --> 00:39:55,494 You prep-school sissies think that you own the world... 829 00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:57,129 but you don't. 830 00:39:57,162 --> 00:40:00,132 The natural world rejects you. 831 00:40:00,165 --> 00:40:03,034 You taste your blood now, don't you? 832 00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:22,020 Bean-counting Ivy League fag. 833 00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:27,459 Rough day? 834 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:32,030 Never thought I'd encounter a bureaucracy 835 00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:35,033 more stocked with vipers than the FBI. 836 00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:38,637 A thousand petty tyrannies. 837 00:40:40,672 --> 00:40:42,040 You're a Bureau man? 838 00:40:42,073 --> 00:40:44,810 Five years strong. You? 839 00:40:44,843 --> 00:40:46,545 CIA. 840 00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:48,980 I've always admired Hoover. 841 00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:51,917 They don't make them like him anymore. 842 00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:53,218 I agree. 843 00:40:55,487 --> 00:40:57,889 Jim McCord. 844 00:40:57,923 --> 00:41:00,559 Liddy, General Counsel. 845 00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:02,194 Liddy... 846 00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:05,597 fella who burnt himself with a candle, right? 847 00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:12,971 Gaius Scaevola would be proud. 848 00:41:14,139 --> 00:41:15,874 Hero of Rome. 849 00:41:17,008 --> 00:41:20,745 Soldier. 850 00:41:32,958 --> 00:41:35,527 Oh, hi. 851 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,495 Great shirt. 852 00:41:37,529 --> 00:41:39,531 Mo, he's here. 853 00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,765 Smells good in there. 854 00:41:40,799 --> 00:41:43,602 I, uh, smoked a little grass myself back in college. 855 00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:48,807 Hi. 856 00:41:50,542 --> 00:41:52,544 Wow. You-- 857 00:41:52,577 --> 00:41:53,712 you look-- 858 00:41:53,745 --> 00:41:56,648 Thank you. Anything for Martha Mitchell. 859 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:09,594 All right. 860 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:13,164 Welcome, sir, ma'am. 861 00:42:14,266 --> 00:42:15,600 - For you. - Oh, thank you. 862 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:16,635 Cheers. 863 00:42:16,668 --> 00:42:17,669 - Oh, hi. Hey. - John. 864 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,871 - How's it going? - Hello. Hi. 865 00:42:19,905 --> 00:42:21,806 You have blood on your hands. 866 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,275 - Look who it is. See? - Oh, my God. 867 00:42:23,308 --> 00:42:25,777 - Want to go say hi? - Yes, I want to say hi. 868 00:42:25,810 --> 00:42:27,946 - She looks amazing. - So gorgeous. 869 00:42:27,979 --> 00:42:29,948 I want to get a picture. 870 00:42:29,981 --> 00:42:31,716 Aw. 871 00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:32,951 Excuse me, Mrs. Mitchell. 872 00:42:32,984 --> 00:42:34,586 Uh, my name is John Dean. I work with your husband. 873 00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:35,820 Oh, Mr. Dean. 874 00:42:35,854 --> 00:42:37,589 Yes, my husband speaks very highly of you. 875 00:42:37,622 --> 00:42:39,291 Say hello to Mr. Dean, buttercup. 876 00:42:39,324 --> 00:42:40,859 - Hi. - Hello. 877 00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:43,929 Hmm. We're working on her volume. 878 00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:45,597 Who is this vision in blue? 879 00:42:45,630 --> 00:42:47,832 Maureen Kane. It's an honor to-- 880 00:42:47,866 --> 00:42:49,668 I'm j- I'm a huge fan. 881 00:42:49,701 --> 00:42:50,936 Thank you. 882 00:42:50,969 --> 00:42:53,738 May I say the two of you make a striking couple. 883 00:42:53,772 --> 00:42:54,940 Oh, we're not really-- 884 00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:56,274 That's so sweet of you. Thank you so much. 885 00:42:56,308 --> 00:42:57,575 Thank you. Thank you. 886 00:42:57,609 --> 00:42:59,577 All right, Mrs. Mitchell, right over here. 887 00:42:59,611 --> 00:43:01,813 Oh. Picture? 888 00:43:01,846 --> 00:43:04,582 Are we getting in? Oh, my-- 889 00:43:04,616 --> 00:43:05,817 Thank you. 890 00:43:05,850 --> 00:43:06,851 Mm-hmm. 891 00:43:06,885 --> 00:43:08,620 Enjoy yourselves. Nice to meet you. 892 00:43:08,653 --> 00:43:11,056 - So nice to meet you. - Thank you. 893 00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:15,160 - Hmm? - Hmm. 894 00:43:19,998 --> 00:43:21,866 Okay, who are they, the buzz cuts? 895 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:23,068 Oh, that? 896 00:43:23,101 --> 00:43:25,070 Uh, that's the president's chief of staff. 897 00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:26,338 On the right, Bob Haldeman. 898 00:43:26,371 --> 00:43:27,872 Okay. 899 00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,274 On the left is John Ehrlichman. 900 00:43:29,307 --> 00:43:31,176 And nobody gets to Nixon except through them. 901 00:43:31,209 --> 00:43:32,844 They call them the Berlin Wall. 902 00:43:32,877 --> 00:43:33,878 Hmm. 903 00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:36,181 - The Berlin Wall, huh? - Mm. 904 00:43:36,214 --> 00:43:39,117 Hmm. Hmm. 905 00:43:39,150 --> 00:43:40,919 Wait, where you going? 906 00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:44,089 Mo. No. Mo. Mo. Mo, Mo. 907 00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:47,359 Now McGovern's got James Taylor and Barbra Streisand 908 00:43:47,392 --> 00:43:48,727 stumping for him, 909 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,128 as if the voters are going to be swayed 910 00:43:50,161 --> 00:43:52,897 by a couple of moderately fuckable socialists. 911 00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:57,202 I'm a big Streisand fan. What's wrong with her? 912 00:43:57,235 --> 00:43:59,971 - Excuse me? - Uh... 913 00:44:00,005 --> 00:44:01,873 sorry, y--you are? 914 00:44:01,906 --> 00:44:04,209 I'm Mo Kane. I think you know my date. 915 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,413 John Dean, sir. 916 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:10,849 I got a haircut. 917 00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:13,151 Yes, that's it. Right. 918 00:44:13,184 --> 00:44:14,919 My apologies if John caused any offense 919 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:16,321 with the Streisand thing, ma'am. 920 00:44:16,354 --> 00:44:19,224 Oh, God. Hey, as a-a member in good standing 921 00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:21,359 of the league of moderately fuckable socialists, 922 00:44:21,393 --> 00:44:23,228 I accept your apology. 923 00:44:23,261 --> 00:44:25,063 Where did you find this one, Dean? 924 00:44:25,096 --> 00:44:28,366 She's a live one. 925 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,336 Uh, by the way, Bob, I've been meaning to, uh, thank you 926 00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:34,439 for conveying that message from POTUS on my behalf. 927 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,908 Mitchell told me about the, uh, president's request 928 00:44:36,941 --> 00:44:39,411 that I come help with the election compliance operations 929 00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:41,046 over at CREEP. 930 00:44:41,079 --> 00:44:42,781 Oh, uh, I'm--I'm sorry. 931 00:44:42,814 --> 00:44:44,682 I've never spoken about you with the president 932 00:44:44,716 --> 00:44:47,786 or really anyone else for that matter. 933 00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:49,287 Word of advice... 934 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,424 learn to recognize a snake when you see one. 935 00:44:52,457 --> 00:44:54,192 Hmm. 936 00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:06,371 Oh, God. John, this party is crazy. 937 00:45:06,404 --> 00:45:08,239 Ehrlichman is a fascist. 938 00:45:08,273 --> 00:45:11,743 He wants to nuke all of Asia. Everyone's so evil here. 939 00:45:11,776 --> 00:45:13,778 I'm having so much fun. What's wrong? 940 00:45:13,812 --> 00:45:15,380 - You okay? - It's nothing. We should go. 941 00:45:15,413 --> 00:45:16,714 No, we just got here. 942 00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:18,483 - I'll get our coats. - Oh, okay. 943 00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,921 Uh, sir, Kissinger's office just called. 944 00:45:22,954 --> 00:45:24,856 They've been trying to reach you for the past hour. 945 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:26,124 In regards to what? 946 00:45:26,191 --> 00:45:27,759 Apparently your wife spoke out 947 00:45:27,826 --> 00:45:31,463 about some sort of feud he's having with the president. 948 00:45:31,496 --> 00:45:33,131 What the fuck? 949 00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:35,333 Martha. 950 00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,303 God as my witness, woman, 951 00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:40,371 I will cancel your Diners Club card 952 00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:43,374 if you don't open this door right now. 953 00:45:43,408 --> 00:45:44,843 What? What do you want? 954 00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:46,444 You want to berate me in front of our guests? 955 00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:55,086 Oh, fuck me! Jesus! 956 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,021 Ah. 957 00:45:57,055 --> 00:45:58,957 I mean... 958 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:00,492 Sorry. 959 00:46:03,394 --> 00:46:07,232 - Are you okay? - I hate this stupid dress. 960 00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,334 My mom had it made for me. 961 00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:12,270 I look like Little Bo Peep. 962 00:46:15,306 --> 00:46:17,876 You want a Doublemint? 963 00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:19,344 No, thanks. 964 00:46:24,983 --> 00:46:26,317 Cigarette? 965 00:46:27,886 --> 00:46:29,354 It's just an interview, for God's sake. 966 00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:31,022 It's not the end of the world. 967 00:46:31,055 --> 00:46:33,958 You had to mention Kissinger, like I need more enemies. 968 00:46:33,992 --> 00:46:35,426 "Martha Mitchell bares all." 969 00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:37,896 Is this some kind of retribution for the other night 970 00:46:37,929 --> 00:46:40,165 'cause I didn't just drop everything 971 00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:43,201 and whisk Martha off to some foreign land 972 00:46:43,234 --> 00:46:44,536 or wherever the fuck? 973 00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:47,005 Yeah. So you--you do know I have feelings. 974 00:46:47,038 --> 00:46:48,406 You just choose to ignore them. 975 00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:51,009 I see. I'm sure if he asked to go on vacation, 976 00:46:51,042 --> 00:46:53,111 you'd have your bags packed in one hour. 977 00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:54,379 He's my boss. 978 00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:56,080 He's your life. 979 00:46:56,114 --> 00:46:58,917 You roll over for him day and night. 980 00:46:58,950 --> 00:47:00,919 - My God. My God. - What is the draw, really? 981 00:47:00,952 --> 00:47:03,154 - Tell me. The subservience-- - That's enough. 982 00:47:03,188 --> 00:47:05,423 Is it that he makes you feel like a big man, 983 00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:07,959 - makes you feel wanted? - That's enough, Martha. 984 00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:10,395 I mean, your dick must look so big 985 00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:12,497 in his tiny hands. 986 00:47:19,103 --> 00:47:23,441 Look, let's just both take a breath. 987 00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:28,379 You take a fucking breath. 988 00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:30,982 My mama slaps me harder than that. 989 00:47:35,119 --> 00:47:37,055 You're a--you're a pig! 990 00:47:37,088 --> 00:47:38,957 All day-- 991 00:47:42,994 --> 00:47:44,862 Nobody cares what you think! 992 00:47:48,132 --> 00:47:52,136 They used to like each other before we moved here. 993 00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:55,907 Now everything's just terrible. 994 00:47:55,940 --> 00:47:59,544 I hate parties. I hate all of these people. 995 00:47:59,577 --> 00:48:00,645 How old are you? 996 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,014 Eleven and a half. 997 00:48:03,047 --> 00:48:05,917 What you need is an exit strategy. 998 00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:08,486 You can petition for emancipation at 16. 999 00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:11,122 Seems a little extreme. 1000 00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,028 And that isn't? 1001 00:48:19,030 --> 00:48:20,231 Do you have a business card? 1002 00:48:23,501 --> 00:48:26,671 I will represent you pro bono. 1003 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:28,239 I'd get started now, 1004 00:48:28,273 --> 00:48:31,209 but, uh, I'm a little busy with the president. 1005 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,678 My mom says Nixon's dogshit. 1006 00:48:36,214 --> 00:48:38,349 Honestly, I wouldn't know. 1007 00:48:38,383 --> 00:48:40,351 I've never even met the guy. 1008 00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:47,992 Bye. 1009 00:48:52,196 --> 00:48:54,699 - You ready? - Yeah. 1010 00:48:58,569 --> 00:49:02,407 The election is in eight fucking months, Martha. 1011 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:07,178 You can just keep your mouth shut for eight months, 1012 00:49:07,211 --> 00:49:08,713 we'll be fine. 1013 00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:11,349 Get another wife if you want a silent one 1014 00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:14,052 or marry that portrait I had made for you, 1015 00:49:14,085 --> 00:49:16,487 which you never thanked me for, by the way. 1016 00:49:19,524 --> 00:49:22,093 You want to know the truth, Martha? 1017 00:49:24,028 --> 00:49:25,997 There's no conspiracy against you. 1018 00:49:26,030 --> 00:49:30,435 There's no collusion hiding in the shadows. 1019 00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:35,073 People just don't like you. 1020 00:49:35,106 --> 00:49:38,543 That's why we can't fly on Air Force One. 1021 00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:40,078 Oh, and those journalists 1022 00:49:40,111 --> 00:49:42,080 that you call in the middle of night-- 1023 00:49:42,113 --> 00:49:43,581 they're not your friends. 1024 00:49:45,583 --> 00:49:49,320 They just can't take their eyes off a good show. 1025 00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:23,688 Bob Haldeman sees my name on six memos a day. 1026 00:50:23,721 --> 00:50:26,591 Has no fucking idea who I am. 1027 00:50:26,624 --> 00:50:29,293 Oh, important people are only as important 1028 00:50:29,327 --> 00:50:31,095 as the rest of us make them. 1029 00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:33,765 Just don't give them that power. 1030 00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:39,604 You're very wise. 1031 00:50:39,637 --> 00:50:41,672 You sound surprised. 1032 00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:46,110 These fucking people. 1033 00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:48,613 I think it's a good thing you're not like those people. 1034 00:50:48,646 --> 00:50:51,149 You're better than them. 1035 00:50:51,182 --> 00:50:53,818 - You barely know me. - That is true. 1036 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:58,656 But I do know you well enough to know 1037 00:50:58,689 --> 00:51:01,392 that you're a good person deep down, 1038 00:51:01,426 --> 00:51:03,428 even when no one's watching. 1039 00:51:05,329 --> 00:51:08,166 But then I also know that you used the FAA 1040 00:51:08,199 --> 00:51:12,236 to find out my flight schedule, which is a huge red flag, 1041 00:51:12,270 --> 00:51:14,806 but it did show uncanny initiative. 1042 00:51:14,839 --> 00:51:16,507 Oh... 1043 00:51:16,541 --> 00:51:18,476 And I know your dirty secret. 1044 00:51:20,645 --> 00:51:23,347 In the moments when you shut up, 1045 00:51:23,381 --> 00:51:26,584 you actually know how to listen. 1046 00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:28,753 - Wait, I know how to shut up. - Stop talking. 1047 00:51:28,786 --> 00:51:31,122 - Wha-- - Stop fucking talking. 1048 00:51:33,324 --> 00:51:34,659 I'm stopping. 1049 00:51:53,478 --> 00:51:56,147 Which one's your house? 1050 00:52:09,694 --> 00:52:11,729 Met a young couple tonight. 1051 00:52:11,762 --> 00:52:15,233 Reminded me of a long time ago... 1052 00:52:15,266 --> 00:52:18,803 being at the beginning of something. 1053 00:52:18,836 --> 00:52:21,272 I'm sorry, I didn't know anybody was out here. 1054 00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,573 That's quite all right. 1055 00:52:23,908 --> 00:52:25,676 Would you happen to have a cigarette? 1056 00:52:29,747 --> 00:52:31,549 Thank you. 1057 00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:45,730 I hope I'm not out of line here, Mrs. Mitchell, but... 1058 00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:47,732 I wanted to tell you that I read 1059 00:52:47,765 --> 00:52:50,568 your Ladies' Home Journal interview. 1060 00:52:50,601 --> 00:52:54,472 There aren't many honest people left in this town. 1061 00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:56,274 I believe you're one of them. 1062 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,413 Well, thank you. 1063 00:53:02,446 --> 00:53:04,181 McCord, wasn't it? 1064 00:53:04,215 --> 00:53:06,584 Yes, ma'am, James McCord. 1065 00:53:06,617 --> 00:53:08,819 I appreciate you, James McCord. 1066 00:53:14,792 --> 00:53:16,594 Ma'am. 1067 00:53:27,638 --> 00:53:32,510 Mmm. 1068 00:53:35,947 --> 00:53:37,481 Mmm. 1069 00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:39,984 Fetch the sugar for me, would you, dear? 1070 00:54:02,373 --> 00:54:03,541 California? 1071 00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:05,543 We got a couple of fundraisers out there. 1072 00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:07,645 I thought it'd give you a chance 1073 00:54:07,678 --> 00:54:10,781 to try on that new swimsuit of yours. 1074 00:54:10,815 --> 00:54:13,651 The one with the cutouts? 1075 00:54:13,684 --> 00:54:16,854 I don't know if that's appropriate for a public beach. 1076 00:54:16,887 --> 00:54:18,823 Well... 1077 00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:21,993 maybe you and I could find 1078 00:54:22,026 --> 00:54:24,929 something a bit more... 1079 00:54:24,962 --> 00:54:26,564 secluded. 1080 00:54:31,869 --> 00:54:34,405 I want to go to boarding school. 1081 00:54:46,717 --> 00:54:47,818 You know, John, 1082 00:54:47,852 --> 00:54:49,787 whatever it is they're making you do... 1083 00:54:51,389 --> 00:54:53,290 ...you don't have to do it. 1084 00:54:54,925 --> 00:54:56,594 Just saying you always have a choice. 1085 00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:28,959 Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Mitchell's out for the day. 1086 00:55:28,993 --> 00:55:30,428 Oh-- 1087 00:55:30,461 --> 00:55:32,329 But you can leave that on his desk if you'd like. 1088 00:55:32,363 --> 00:55:35,066 Right. 1089 00:55:35,099 --> 00:55:37,034 Mr. Mitchell's office. 1090 00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:15,973 Mr. Dean, 1091 00:56:16,006 --> 00:56:18,676 uh, I can hold on to that if you want. 1092 00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:21,812 Give it to Mr. Mitchell personally when he comes in. 1093 00:56:21,846 --> 00:56:24,682 Don't worry about the letter. 1094 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,752 It was a false alarm. 1095 00:56:27,785 --> 00:56:29,019 The names of great men 1096 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:30,855 are etched in the halls of power... 1097 00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:31,956 I'll see myself out. 1098 00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:33,457 ...Napoleon... 1099 00:56:33,491 --> 00:56:34,625 Thank you. 1100 00:56:34,658 --> 00:56:37,061 ...Alexander, Charlemagne. 1101 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:42,533 But who will tell our stories when we're gone? 1102 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:44,668 Who will sing our songs? 1103 00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:50,775 For not all men who change the world are remembered. 1104 00:56:52,143 --> 00:56:55,546 Most are lost like embers in a fire. 1105 00:56:57,148 --> 00:57:00,017 Some worship at the boot of power, 1106 00:57:00,050 --> 00:57:02,553 weak against the tide of human frailty. 1107 00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:05,022 I know your spot right there. 1108 00:57:05,055 --> 00:57:07,825 Others are born to be forgotten, 1109 00:57:07,858 --> 00:57:10,861 reaching for a greatness they can never fully grasp. 1110 00:57:20,070 --> 00:57:22,706 There she is, machos... 1111 00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:24,508 our destiny. 1112 00:57:24,542 --> 00:57:26,210 ¿Qué es eso? 1113 00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:27,978 El Watergate. 1114 00:57:33,751 --> 00:57:37,221 But make no mistake... 1115 00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:39,657 a triumphant will is what binds us 1116 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:42,760 to those creatures from the prehistoric sea. 1117 00:57:44,662 --> 00:57:49,533 And with it, we can alter the course of human history. 1118 00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:30,574 Ow!