1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,543
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,170
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,765
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,913
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

5
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,373
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,877
(CHEERING)

7
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,678
What do you think of the
robe? It's not too flashy?

8
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,972
No, sir, you look very regal.

9
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,140
Hear ye, hear ye.

10
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,601
May I present our
foreign exchange student

11
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,687
from the great
nation of England,

12
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,439
Lady Jane of Bushwick.

13
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,067
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

14
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Welcome, Lady Jane.

15
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:20,372
I am Conrad Wexler, \ Headmaster
of Lawrence Junior High.

16
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,250
I do hope the limousine
was long enough for you.

17
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,211
And, Lady Jane, I'm Ren Stevens.
I'm gonna be your host for the week.

18
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,838
Oh, just call me Jane.

19
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,257
Um, really, I wasn't
expecting all of this.

20
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,509
Oh, pish-posh. This is nothing.

21
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,971
(BAND PLAYS "LONDON
BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN")

22
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,473
(APPLAUSE)

23
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:43,979
You know, thank you so much,

24
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,733
but, um, there's really no need
for all this pomp and circumstance.

25
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:51,278
(BAND PLAYS "POMP
AND CIRCUMSTANCE")

26
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,702
Lady Jane is in your hands.

27
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,747
I spoke to her father, the
Duke of Bushwick, personally,

28
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,665
and assured him that
his daughter would have

29
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,876
a rich, cultural experience
here in America.

30
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:09,463
Don't worry, sir. I take this
responsibility very seriously.

31
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,842
I assure you, Lady Jane will
see all that America has to offer.

32
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,304
Ren, just a word of warning
about your brother Louis.

33
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,680
Oh, no need to worry, sir.

34
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,100
Contact will be at a minimum
between Lady Jane and Louis.

35
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:26,063
Anyway, he's been very busy lately
doing some sort of research project.

36
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,484
LOUIS: Good form.

37
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,694
No, no, his breathing's
all wrong, man.

38
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,738
Oh, you're right, he's
not pacing himself.

39
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,575
So, uh, 72 ounces, that's,
like, how many pounds?

40
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,328
Oh, forget about it. Don't
even try to do the math.

41
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,175
It's a whole lot of
beef, leave it at that.

42
00:02:43,209 --> 00:02:44,581
TWITTY: Think we can handle it?

43
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:45,957
Let's see.

44
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,126
It's free if you eat
it in half an hour.

45
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:51,672
You're allowed one restroom
break and positively no vomiting.

46
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,548
But, dude, if you can do that,

47
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,842
the winners get their photo

48
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,719
on the King Sloppy Wall of Fame.

49
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,310
Aw, dude, we've
got to be on the wall.

50
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,603
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

51
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,566
Whoo! Sorry, partner.

52
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,319
Looks like King
Sloppy wins again.

53
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,946
(LAUGHING)

54
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,906
Pay the bill, <i>amigo.</i>

55
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,493
(SIGHS) Louis, I
don't know, man.

56
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,663
I mean, if the Stomach right here
can't even handle it, how can we?

57
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,540
There's only one guy who can.

58
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,000
Mike Hagerman?

59
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,503
Mike Hagerman.

60
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,591
As you can see,

61
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:40,137
we've prepared a wonderful
all-American feast for you.

62
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,016
Well, this is quite lovely.

63
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,185
Yes, well, we have
lobsters from Maine,

64
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,895
potatoes from Idaho...

65
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,398
And all of these plates
are from the china cabinet.

66
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,066
(LAUGHTER)

67
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,273
- STEVE: That's very funny, honey.
- Huh, hmm, yeah.

68
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,612
You see, my wife just
made a typical American joke.

69
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,780
Little one.

70
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,782
Let's dig in, shall we?

71
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,869
Uh, where's Louis?

72
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,412
Louis will not be here.

73
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,330
Somebody told him
that dinner was canceled.

74
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,707
- Anyhoo...
- Who's Louis?

75
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:12,169
Just a kid who says he's my brother.
Would you like a Kansas corn muffin, Jane?

76
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,550
(PANTING AND GRUNTING)

77
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:24,848
Come on, buddy.

78
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,977
(BOTH PANTING)

79
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,304
Louis, I can't do it anymore.

80
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,397
Come on. We've got to
stretch the stomach muscles.

81
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,732
One more set. Ready, go.

82
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,233
- (CHUCKLING)
- Oh!

83
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,694
Hey there!

84
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,989
You're the, uh, princess
who's living with us, right?

85
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,742
- I'm, uh, Louis. This is Twitty.
- What's up?

86
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,952
JANE: Hi. But actually,

87
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,413
I'm not a princess.
My father's a duke.

88
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,957
It's okay. I know how you feel.

89
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918
My dad can be like
that, too, sometimes.

90
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:57,547
Anyways, so what do
you... think about this?

91
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,926
It's a rather daft-looking
jumper, don't you think?

92
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,930
- What's that?
- JANE: You know, "daft."

93
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,473
Silly.

94
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,350
Oh.

95
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,520
And I believe you call a
"jumper" a... "sweater."

96
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,980
<i>- Sí.</i>
- Excuse him.

97
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,507
Um, Louis, come
here for a second.

98
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,234
Yeah, bud, just
real fast. What's up?

99
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,362
Um, I don't think Mike Hagerman's
gonna be seen wearing a daft jumper.

100
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,905
What are you talking about?

101
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,949
Mike Hagerman is the
daftest guy we know.

102
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,368
- Come on. (CHUCKLES)
- Okay.

103
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,036
Who is this Mike Hagerman chap?

104
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,789
Oh, Mike Hagerman...
he's a legend.

105
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,750
Oh, no, legend? (SCOFFS)
He's an American hero.

106
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,517
He's helping us out Sunday. We're
gonna chow down the King Sloppy.

107
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,796
Come on, dude, back to work.

108
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,924
One more set, ready?
Let's get this going.

109
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,801
What's a King Sloppy?

110
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:45,720
King Sloppy is
the world's biggest,

111
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:50,100
- greasiest, sloppiest hamburger.
- (GRUNTING)

112
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:53,311
And where does one
find this King Sloppy?

113
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,980
Oh, only one place.

114
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,315
Tex Nagita's Burger Bonanza.

115
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,317
Dude, dude, try this one.

116
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,319
Try this one all
the way through.

117
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,114
All the way through, all the
way through, there you go.

118
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,533
Jane, no!

119
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,202
(GASPS)

120
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,912
Oh, gosh, no.

121
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,248
Jane, you should not be
seeing this. Come here.

122
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,835
I'm so sorry you had to
see that. Whatever it was.

123
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,671
You see, my brother, he's
not typical of this country.

124
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,550
And tomorrow, I'm gonna show
you all that America has to offer.

125
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:31,141
(MARCHING BAND TUNE PLAYING)

126
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,079
Here we are ending our
visit at the Big Head museum.

127
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,539
Look, look, look, look, look.

128
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,500
It's Warren Hardcastle.
This guy was so fascinating.

129
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,753
Oh, why don't you
do it? It's your turn.

130
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,255
Have a go at it. (CHUCKLES)

131
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,926
<i>I'm Lieutenant Governor
Warren Hardcastle.</i>

132
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,470
<i>In 1920, I
instituted legislation</i>

133
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:11,348
<i>which insured the safety of
the San Joaquin water table.</i>

134
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,100
<i>In my later years, I
developed a case of psoriasis...</i>

135
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,909
<i>(SLOWING) Which
prevented me from wearing</i>

136
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,379
<i>short sleeve shirts
in the summer.</i>

137
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,689
(GASPING)

138
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,150
Um... uh...

139
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,904
I think that about wraps it up

140
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,073
for our trip here.

141
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,616
What do you want to do now?

142
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,910
You know, maybe we
should just go home.

143
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,245
I would like a little
bit of a lie down.

144
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,206
Oh, a lie down. Okay.

145
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,499
(FANFARE PLAYS)

146
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,293
Tom, that's enough.

147
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,754
Oh, well, <i>excusez-moi.</i>

148
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,690
You're the one who asked
me to follow you around all day.

149
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:48,093
I didn't say "all day."
I said a few places.

150
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,054
Oh, oh, what? Now
I'm the bad guy, what?

151
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,814
(BELL DINGS)

152
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,774
Hot diggity, I like
them little bells.

153
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,818
Anyway, I'm here for the
King Sloppy challenge.

154
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,113
Why, hey, now. You got
it, partner. (CHUCKLES)

155
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,864
Say, now, what do you go by?

156
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,117
Well, name's Mike.
Mike Hagerman.

157
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,411
Well, okay, Mike Hagerman.

158
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,454
I'm just gonna go over
there, set up a table,

159
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,249
and, uh, you...
loosen your pants.

160
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,793
Thank you, sir. (CHUCKLES)

161
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,878
Okay, now.

162
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,798
I'm in.

163
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,175
<i>Proceed to step two, over.</i>

164
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,846
Okay, uh, going to
step two. Over, Mike.

165
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,267
I'm mean, uh, me Mike,
not you Mike. Over.

166
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:55,994
Beans, what are you doing?

167
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,912
I heard there was
a princess in there.

168
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,873
Shh. She's not a princess.

169
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,791
She's a lady, and
she's having a lie down.

170
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,878
That's baloney. There's
no one lying down in there.

171
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,379
What are you...

172
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,381
Beans, you're gonna wake her up.

173
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:15,055
"Went out for some
fun. Best regards, Jane."

174
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,598
Give me that.

175
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,934
She's gone.

176
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,021
I lost Lady Jane.

177
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,152
Smells like she left
about half an hour ago.

178
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,369
Gosh, this is awful.

179
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,247
I was entrusted to watch
Lady Jane and now I lost her.

180
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,291
BEANS: Wouldn't
want to be in your shoes.

181
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,835
How do you walk in these things?

182
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504
Beans.

183
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,797
Ew!

184
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,173
(DOORBELL RINGS)

185
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,842
Maybe that's her.

186
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,681
Dang it. I mean...

187
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,767
Principal Wexler.

188
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,494
Dang it, it's good to
see ya. (CHUCKLES)

189
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,603
WEXLER: Good evening, Ren.

190
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,231
We have a big
surprise for Lady Jane.

191
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,358
This is her father,
the Duke of Bushwick.

192
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,444
The Duke of Bushwick is in
town on diplomatic business.

193
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,947
So, where's my little Jane?

194
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,032
(LOUD GULP)

195
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,325
Funny you should ask that...

196
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,536
'Cause she's upstairs.
She's taking a nap.

197
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,579
Would you be so
kind as to awaken her?

198
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,248
I'm on a rather tight schedule.

199
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,042
Make yourself at home.

200
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,590
Okay, think.

201
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,009
Think, Beans.
Where could she be?

202
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,306
Wait a second. Wait a second.

203
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,850
Yes.

204
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:46,604
Uh, Ren, have you ever heard of a
place called Tex Nagita's Burger Bonanza?

205
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,816
That's it.

206
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,277
DUKE: <i>Janie, darling, guess who.</i>

207
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,778
(SIGHS)

208
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,965
(IMITATING BRITISH ACCENT)
Um, just a moment, Father.

209
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,576
I'm just finishing some
crumpets and a spot of tea.

210
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,953
Mm, crumpets.

211
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,541
I need you to go downstairs
and entertain the Duke

212
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,209
while I go and
look for Lady Jane.

213
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,798
BEANS: All throughout history
Americans loved to dance.

214
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,926
In the '20s, it was
the Charleston.

215
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,304
(CHARLESTON TUNE PLAYING)

216
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,024
(ALARM BLARING)

217
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,901
(CHEERING)

218
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,820
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby.

219
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,867
Seventy-two ounces of
unforgiving sloppiness.

220
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,035
You know the rules.

221
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,370
One half hour, one
bathroom break...

222
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,265
Tex, come on, buddy,
my burger's getting cold.

223
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,374
Well, hey, now,
let's do it, then.

224
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,752
- Yee-ha!
- (BELL DINGS)

225
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,341
(SONG PLAYING)

226
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,595
<i>Everybody's swimming
Like a fish in the sea.</i>

227
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:04,766
<i>Now, little fishies
We're blowing bubbles.</i>

228
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:08,269
<i>Talking underwater Can
you hear what I say now?</i>

229
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:12,148
<i>Little fishies We're
blowing bubbles</i>

230
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:15,235
(CLOCK TICKING)

231
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:27,872
(STOMACH GURGLING)

232
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,137
LOUIS: (OVER RADIO) <i>Mike, over.</i>

233
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,350
Uh, yeah, Mike. How you
doing? Did you finish your half?

234
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,269
(BELCHING)

235
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,354
I'll take that as a yes.

236
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,147
Prepare to switch.

237
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,732
All right. Copy that. Copy that.

238
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,535
I'm sorry to disturb you

239
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,913
when you're eating your
rather large and sloppy burger,

240
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,958
but, uh, by any chance,
are you Mike Hagerman?

241
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,960
Nope. Never heard of him.

242
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,254
How you doing, Mr. Hagerman?

243
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,674
- I thought I recognized that daft jumper.
- Shh, shh, shh.

244
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,427
Okay, yes, I'm Louis. Hi. Hi.

245
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,013
Yeah, you got to stop 'cause
you're blowing my cover.

246
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,307
Oh. Oh, I see what's going on.

247
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,726
- A bit of the old hanky-panky.
- No, no.

248
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,729
This isn't like your English
hanky-panky. This is big-time.

249
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,732
I'm desperate for a giggle.
Can I just please join in, please?

250
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,900
Look, hey, look, you're
at a seven right now.

251
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,319
You need to be at a four.

252
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,653
- A four?
- A four.

253
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,655
(WHISPERING) Is
this four? Can I stay?

254
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,824
Pretty please?

255
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,368
All right, but you've
got to be cool.

256
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,287
- Cool.
- You know what I'm saying? Quieter.

257
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,080
- Good show, good show.
- Yes.

258
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,832
- At four.
- Good.

259
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,125
(JANE GRUNTS)

260
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,085
Ahh.

261
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,175
- Where do you think you're going?
- Uh, howdy.

262
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,428
Um... I'm going to the restroom.

263
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,889
You know, I'm gonna use my
one allotted restroom break.

264
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,183
I'll be back in two,
all right, big guy?

265
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,851
I'll be right back.

266
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,980
Rules are, I got to go
to the bathroom with you.

267
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,398
LOUIS: Um...

268
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,901
You know what I just realized?

269
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:24,364
Um, that my
bladder's only half full.

270
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:29,327
Or, um, half empty, depending
on how you look at life.

271
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,412
I'm gonna go over there.

272
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,920
Mayday, Mike. Mayday, Mike.
The sloppsky's hit the fansky.

273
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,255
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
<i>- Look at me I'm the black emcee.</i>

274
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,424
<i>Show the world
that I got degrees.</i>

275
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,219
<i>Bup-bup-bup-bup
Bup-bup-bup-bup, ah.</i>

276
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,762
<i>Ha, ha, ha, ha!</i>

277
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:51,224
And then, after the
robot, came the worm.

278
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,975
(HIP-HOP PLAYING)

279
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,813
This is an outrage! I
demand to see my daughter.

280
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,606
Young man, where
are Ren and Lady Jane?

281
00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,773
(MUSIC STOPS)

282
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,194
Tex Nagita's Burger Bonanza.

283
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,240
I've got to create a diversion.

284
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,117
Get Twitty out here to
come switch with me.

285
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,953
Looking a little green around
the gills there, Hagerman.

286
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,204
Pardon me.

287
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,791
But I'd like to have a go at one
of your charming King Sloppys.

288
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,252
Well, now, you
got it, little lady.

289
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,963
Luther, another King Sloppy.

290
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,006
Grill 'em up, <i>por favor.</i>

291
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,218
(WHISTLING AND CHEERING)

292
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,562
Mike two, this is Mike one.

293
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,105
Come out and stay low. Over.

294
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,358
(CHEERING)

295
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,404
Oh, excuse me.

296
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:50,283
Um, but I ordered
the King Sloppy.

297
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,660
This burger's not big
enough for you, ma'am?

298
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,996
How you feeling, Mike?

299
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,539
Hold on.

300
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,083
- (STOMACH GURGLING)
- (GAGGING)

301
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,314
(CHUCKLES)

302
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,107
- Ah.
- (BELL DINGS)

303
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,067
- Yeah?
- (WHISPERS)

304
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,278
No kidding.

305
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,863
TEX: Well, hey, now.

306
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:32,033
Looks like you got
your appetite back.

307
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,409
I guess so.

308
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,411
Hey, Tex.

309
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,996
I got me some eating to do here,

310
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,290
So, what do you say
you wrassle me up a refill

311
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,792
on this here orange
soda, okay? (CHUCKLES)

312
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,295
Something wrong?

313
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,423
You was drinking grape soda.

314
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,759
- Was I?
- Mm-hmm.

315
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:55,515
Well, uh, I guess
maybe all this meat

316
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,060
has destroyed my ability
to recognize flavors, okay?

317
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:11,155
Well, now, I do believe
we got us a two-fer.

318
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,617
- Uh...
- Luther, check the bathroom.

319
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,035
(KNUCKLES CRACKING)

320
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:20,373
Uh, what's a two-fer?

321
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,958
Two for one.

322
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,961
It's the oldest con in the
over-sized burger business.

323
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,880
This is an outrage!
I'm Mike Hagerman!

324
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,759
Mike Hagerman,
meet Mike Hagerman.

325
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,720
- Mike Hagerman.
- Yes.

326
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:39,350
My long lost twin brother
with the same exact name!

327
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,561
- How done you been, brother?
- I been good!

328
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,354
- I missed you so much!
- All right!

329
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,648
That's enough out
of you two frauds.

330
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,318
Now, boys, what we
got here is a situation.

331
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,822
TEX: Luther, watch these boys.

332
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,198
I'll be right back.

333
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,744
Louis, what are you doing?

334
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,913
Mike Hagerman is the name.

335
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,875
Why does everyone
keep doing that?

336
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,210
Where is Lady Jane?

337
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:07,628
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

338
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,147
MAN 1: Come on, Janie, come on!

339
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,211
MAN 2: You can do it,
Janie, come on. You can do it.

340
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,259
(CHEERING)

341
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,970
What is she doing here?

342
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,972
Looks like she's
polishing off a King Sloppy.

343
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,808
A King Sloppy?

344
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,352
- Louis.
- CROWD: Janie! Janie!

345
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,039
What did you do to
her? She's nobility.

346
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:29,275
So what? She's a kid just
like us. She wants to have fun.

347
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,944
(CROWD CHANTING)
Janie, Janie, Janie...

348
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,487
MAN 3: There you go!

349
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,825
(CHANTING CONTINUES)

350
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,201
WOMAN: Come on, Janie!

351
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,953
One more time. Break it down.

352
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,872
- Janie.
- Janie.

353
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,874
One more time. Janie.

354
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:48,961
America rocks.

355
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,296
(LAUGHS)

356
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,965
(CHANTING CONTINUES)

357
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,056
- Jane?
- Hello, Daddy.

358
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,975
Daddy?

359
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,811
Jane, you must desist this
barbaric display at once.

360
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,564
- But, Daddy, you don't understand...
- DUKE: Not another word.

361
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,610
So, this is your idea of a
rich cultural experience?

362
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,403
I... I... I...

363
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,075
This is not Principal
Wexler's fault. It's mine.

364
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,243
You see,

365
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,996
I thought that your daughter
should see the high points

366
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,414
of American culture.

367
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:29,460
And, well, then I realized
that all the galleries

368
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,797
and symphonies and
big head museums

369
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,800
are not what make
this country great.

370
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,177
It's also the fun of
coming to a place

371
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,346
like Tex Nagita's Burger Bonanza

372
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,265
and scarfing down a King Sloppy

373
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,851
no matter how
disgusting that may be.

374
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,021
So, Mr. Duke, sir,

375
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,983
I'm really glad that Jane got
to see this side of America,

376
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,654
and I don't think
that me or Mr. Wexler

377
00:19:56,821 --> 00:20:00,366
or Mike Hagerman should
have to apologize for it.

378
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,993
("AMERICA THE
BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING)

379
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,042
Take five, boys.

380
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,256
(BELCHING)

381
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,843
Oh, pardon me.

382
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,805
Actually, don't pardon me.

383
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,765
I'm having fun.

384
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:32,064
Well, if Jane's having
fun, then... I'm having fun.

385
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,774
WEXLER: Well, then,

386
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,944
should I order up a couple
of those King Sloppys?

387
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,155
- Of course not.
- Right.

388
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,908
Ren, thank you for
looking after Janie.

389
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,618
You're welcome, sir.

390
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,288
(CROWD CHANTING)
Janie, Janie, Janie...

391
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,832
She did it! She
finished the King Sloppy!

392
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,209
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

393
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,013
(LAUGHING)

394
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,695
Well, goodnight, everyone.

395
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,989
We've had a smashing time.

396
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,240
(LAUGHING)

397
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,533
Goodnight.

398
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,076
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

399
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,122
Now, where do you think
you two cowpokes are goin'?

400
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,752
Uh... home maybe?

401
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,462
No?

402
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,005
One King Sloppy unfinished.

403
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,090
That'll be 75 bucks.

404
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,305
Well, Mike, I guess this
thing didn't quite work out

405
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,307
the way we thought
it would, Mike.

406
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,937
Yeah, man, the Mike thing's
really not that funny anymore.

407
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:55,648
Right.