(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM RINGING)
(SLURPING)
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)
(EXPLOSION)
Oh, hey. Check that out. My shoe's untied.
(CHUCKLES) No, it's not.
Uh, yeah, well, uh...
you know, it feels loose.
I should probably cinch that up... right there.
Oh, Tom, a flying squirrel!
Look out!
(SQUIRREL CHIRPING)
(SHRIEKING)
(LAUGHING)
Gotcha.
Hardy har!
Very funny. Very funny.
Taking advantage of a man's fear of flying squirrels.
Very funny.
You got to admit we had a cool rig, though.
I must admit I admire the complexities of your apparatus.
Too bad it always has to be at my expense!
Tom, Tom. We kid out of love.
- Keep your love. - Yeah.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, I have goosebumps.
- Oh, he actually does. - Nuh-uh.
You giving me hard looks, Stevens?
No.
- What are you looking at? - Nothing, man.
Oh, so I'm nothing.
No, that's not what I said.
It's like if you're watching a bad TV show
and you look at something but you're not really looking.
- That's what was happening. - So now I'm a bad TV show?
No, you're misinterpreting what I'm saying. It wasn't even like that.
You're on my radar, Stevens.
Radar.
Who was that?
Okay, Lloyd Offler, that guy has got problems.
Yeah.
I don't understand why people have to pick on other people.
I'd like to live in a world where there was less picking...
and more hugging.
- Yeah, right. - Yeah, right.
Ren, thank you so much for volunteering your hair
to the Future Beauticians Club.
Oh, it's nothing. It'll be fun, right?
Um... I don't want to do anything too drastic.
Oh, don't worry, it's just a subtle henna rinse
to bring out your natural highlights.
- Okay. - Great.
And I should mention... I accept tips.
Okay? All done.
Oh, boy.
Wait. What do you mean, "Oh, boy"?
What do you mean, "Oh, boy"? Let me see.
It's not as bad as you think.
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(SHRIEKS)
How did this happen?
I have no idea.
And so I'm talking to Brittany,
and she's all, "Jason doesn't care about me"
and I'm all, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
And she's like, "Okay, okay..."
(TALKING SPEEDS UP)
(HIGH SPEED CHATTER)
I cannot be a blonde.
It is just not me.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING) Okay, Ren, don't worry.
I'll fix it right after school.
I got to get to chemistry class. Can you believe I'm failing?
Yes, I can. (GROWLS)
That, uh, that Lloyd Offler guy.
'Cause everything about him is "awfuller."
Look how he spells his name.
L-L-O-Y-D.
I know. What is up with those double Ls? It's crazy.
- Maybe he pronounces it "Lo-Loyd." - (LAUGHING)
(GUFFAWS)
And my name's Lou-Louis.
Oh, you know what he says to me? He goes, he goes,
"Stevens you're on my radar," or something like that.
Thanks, Lo-Loyd. Thanks for the tip.
(LOUIS LAUGHING)
I smell cabbage.
Hey.
You having a good time, Lou-Louis?
Yeah, it's a pretty good day so far.
That was good, see
'cause I got you, you got me back
so, um, guess we're even now, huh?
Not even close.
See you in shop class.
(SCREAMING)
Should have taken Home Ec.
Louis, what Lloyd did was a violation of the highest order.
- You have to stand up for yourself. - Tom, please.
You're in way over your head.
Why don't you go back to your little world where everyone's hugging.
Oh, Louis, you just took a bite of your licky Lloyd sandwich.
Mmm... Look at her hair.
(SONG PLAYS)
Once I was a little shy.
But now I'm gonna catch your eye.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Take a look now, baby
I know it takes a little while.
And now I seek your smile Gonna let it shine.
- Feelin' good right now. - Really gotta shine.
- Take a look right now. - Gonna let it shine.
- Feelin' good right now. - I really gotta shine...
Oh, hey, what's up?
Hey, Blondie, how you doing?
(RECORD SCRATCHES TO A STOP)
Ren?
Is that for your doll house, Tom?
Well, actually...
it's for my rather large collection of miniatures.
(LAUGHS)
And I guess it's a contradiction in terms.
I made an inadvertent funny.
(LAUGHS)
I have to be over there.
Dude, what are you doing, man?
You're going to sand a hole right through the shelf.
Sanding? No, no, I'm not sanding.
I'm shaking like a leaf. Feel my arm.
Just relax. Just relax, okay.
Mr. Bartlet is standing right over there.
- Where is he? - He's right there.
Class, I'm going to step out
of the room for a minute.
I want to get a hot cup of... nails.
Mr. Bartlet? I'll make sure everyone in class
wears their protective goggles
while you're gone, and take your time, huh?
Oh, thank you, Lloyd
and I will take my time.
(GIGGLING)
(GASPS)
Okay, come over here.
That skirt does not match with that top.
What was she thinking?
(SIGHS)
Hey, Lloyd.
Some weather we're having, huh?
It's actually a little balmy for this time of year.
Yeah, that's my, that's my shelf. That's...
Yeah. Okay. All right.
Dude, you just let him take your shelf.
Ah, it's no biggie. I've only been working on it for, like, seven weeks.
Louis, I'm afraid that this situation
will continue to escalate unless you stand up for yourself.
Tom, don't. Just go back to your tiny little rocking chair. I'm handling this.
Are you, Louis?
Are you handling this?
Hey, Lloyd.
Um... just came over here to say hi
and that I'm sorry
and I'm not here to play the blame game.
You know, this whole fight.
It's not your fault, it's not my fault.
Doesn't matter.
The point is, is that
we're human, you know, and we make mistakes
and we move on, we heal.
So, um, mind if I get my shelf back, man?
- Sure. - Dude, thank you.
You are the man. Thank you so much.
- Yeah, go ahead and take it. - Thank you. Thank you.
I mean, I thought you were going to say something...
Aw, dude.
Um...
Yeah, I seem to be trapped in your hutch, Lloyd.
That's right.
Hey, everybody.
Who wants to see the hutch boy?
LLOYD: Huh? Come on.
Huh? Come on, step right up and see the amazing hutch boy.
Lloyd.
I insist that you release Louis from your hutch.
Tom, don't worry about it. I got it...
- Quiet! - Sorry.
So, what are you going to do?
Going to hit me with your little rocking chair?
I'm sorry it's come to this.
Can you believe this wimp? What a total...
(YELLING)
(BOARD BREAKING)
Excuse me, Lloyd.
Come on, buddy.
Okay, wait... so, Tom...
our Tom... had to rescue Louis from a cabinet?
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
It wasn't a cabinet! Stop saying that! It was a hutch. It's smaller.
No, but, look, okay, Tom, Tom, he took that wood shop
and turned into a pile of toothpicks.
Who would've known that he was an honest-to-Pete
second degree black belt.
You know, that's amazing 'cause I always thought Tom was, uh...
- Wimpy. A little bit... - Yeah, kind of.
Guys...
look, if Tom was the biggest wimp in school, right...
Right. And he saved my butt, that means what?
That means I'm the biggest wimp in school.
Louis, nobody thinks that, okay?
Look, by tomorrow this whole thing is going to blow over, okay?
I guess you're right.
BOY: Hey, Hutch Boy!
(ALL CHANTING) Hutch Boy! Hutch Boy!
LOUIS: Shut up!
KIDS: Hutch Boy! Hutch Boy! Hutch Boy! Hutch Boy!
I'll just walk home.
Wait up!
Wait for me!
Wait!
This family's spending is out of control.
I don't understand it.
All of a sudden, our grocery bills have just gone through the roof.
You got any honey mustard?
Beans, do you ever eat at home?
Yeah, my mom says I can really put it away.
Hey!
- Ren! Your hair. - Yeah, I know. You like it?
Yeah.
I... I love it, I think it looks great.
Hubba, hubba.
(GASPS)
Beans, go home, you're creeping me out.
Honey, aren't you supposed to be at your junior
overachievers meeting right now?
I had to blow that off 'cause, um...
today is a roller-skating kind of day.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I'm going to go get that. Okay?
I'll be back and I can show you my turns 'cause they're really, really good.
- Ooh, that can't be good for the floor. - Uh-uh.
What is up, girlfriend?
Hey, Ren.
Look, don't worry. In 20 minutes
there won't be a single blonde hair on your head.
Oh, no, that's okay. We don't have to do that right now.
But, um... oh, my gosh
do you want to see me skate backwards?
Wah!
Yeah, Tom, your mom told me to...
- Wah! - Whoa! Tom!
- Oh! Oh! - You almost grazed my lip.
Oh, Louis, I am so sorry. I didn't know you were back there.
Yeah.
Here, your mom told me to give that to you.
Thank you.
Nothing soothes the warrior spirit like a cup of Doris' hot cocoa.
Something troubling you, Louis?
Well, you know.
Mm. Let's have a sit.
What's on your mind, Louis?
Well...
Tom, I never thought I'd say this, but...
Tom, I want to be just like you.
I see.
I want to be able to fight and, you know, break wood
and make shop bullies cry.
Tom, teach me your ways.
Louis, the martial arts are not just about fighting
and breaking wood as you so quaintly put it.
It's about self-discipline
moral and intellectual development
physical fitness...
and most of all, courtesy and respect for others.
Right.
But we still break wood, right?
(LAUGHS)
Very well, Louis.
I will teach you my ways.
You are the man.
Hold on, let me handle this real fast.
One second...
One sec.
(RINGING)
Hello?
Hi, Lloyd, this is Louis Stevens.
Who?
Louis... the hutch boy.
Meet me in the alley at 7:00 sharp tomorrow night
'cause I am going to open up a can
of Lloyd Stroganoff on you, boy!
If you smell what Louis is cooking.
(BEEPS)
(CLICKS, BEEPS)
Louis, did I mention it takes nine years to learn my ways?
Nine...? Aw, gee... Nah... no...
Well, I think we're about through for today.
That's it?
Tom, that cannot be it.
Listen, I don't know anything.
I'm supposed to fight this Lloyd guy tomorrow.
I don't know how to fight.
Louis... at this point, your only hope
is to look deep inside yourself...
and, once there
find your inner strength and harness it.
Harness it.
Wait.
Tom! Tom!
That doesn't make any sense.
What do you mean, "Harness it"? It's just a bunch of mumbo jumbo.
Find my inner strength and harness it.
Okay.
So, is this, like, a surprise party?
Ren...
'Cause you know, my birthday was last month, right, and so
my half birthday wouldn't be until like...
- Ren! - What?
It's not a party.
It's not?
Well, the truth is...
we're all here because you're giving blondes a bad name.
Oh, my gosh.
I so didn't mean to do that.
Okay, that's another thing.
You keep saying, "Oh, my gosh!" like, every two seconds.
And this whole dizzy, ditzy stuff? I mean, what is that?
Where is that coming from?
That's not you.
I don't know, maybe the whole blonde thing.
Ren, that is such a stereotype. I mean, look at Brittany.
Okay, she speaks six different languages and she's president of the physics club.
And Lauren is the head violinist in the school orchestra.
And what about me?
Okay, well, I gossip
too much and I ruined your hair but...
that just proves blondes are as different as any other group of people.
So, you guys don't really have more fun?
Oh, we have fun.
But, uh, not necessarily more fun.
Mm.
I'm sorry, guys.
I just kind of wanted to be different, you know
and, once in a while, it's nice to take a vacation from yourself.
Well...
vacation's over.
LLOYD: Hutch Boy!
Come out and play!
Stevens!
You punking out on me?
(MAKING SWISHING NOISES)
No, Lloyd.
Punking out is against my ways.
(KUNG FU YELLS)
So, you know a couple fake kung fu moves.
Is that supposed to scare me, or...?
Well, I don't know, Lloyd, you tell me.
(SCREECHES)
How'd you do that?
What's wrong, Lloyd? Never seen a human fighting machine defy gravity before?
(SCREECHING) Rain chop.
What's up now, dude? Huh? Hey, take it easy.
You're not going to bully people anymore, are you, Lloyd?
- Right. Whatever you say. - I'm not your hutch boy, am I?
Hey, hey, no problem. Turn around and get out of here.
(CABLE REELING)
Aw, shippy.
Something must be stuck in the gear, Beans.
Oh, so that's where I put my gum.
Beans!
Lloyd's going to see the wires.
Now go on, get out of here.
And... And... And don't look back
because... it's, uh, forbidden.
Hey, you're wearing a harness.
It's not a...
it's not a harness.
It's a, um...
an ancient martial arts fighting thingy.
Oh, we got to get him back, Beans.
Pull him up. Pull him up.
- Turn it, turn it. - I'm on it!
(YELLING)
I got it!
(SCREAMING)
This thing must be defective.
I'm late for dinner.
Beans, that's my scooter.
You must think I'm stupid.
No I don't, you're clearly one of the more intelligent boys I've ever met.
Okay, sorry.
I didn't mean to say that.
And, look, I can't fight you, you know.
That's why I set this up, tried to freak you out.
- Get out of here. - No, seriously.
I've come to the realization that if I'm going to get hit,
I'm going to get hit, you know?
So just go ahead. Go ahead.
Right there. Try to get me there.
Oh, you know what you want to do?
Get some towels... 'cause I'm a bleeder.
So, how'd you rig it, man?
Oh, this?
It's not that hard, dude.
You just get 200 feet of this stuff
some fly pulleys, some power task multi-gears, you're good to go.
Pick Wessons?
Yeah. Best gears in the business.
Tell me about it. I didn't know you were into mechanical stuff.
Oh, yeah, dude. I am.
See, you were too busy putting me in your hutch.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that was funny.
Sorry about that, man. No hard feelings, huh?
Oh, sure. We're good.
So, uh, you want to check out my workshop?
You got a workshop?
- Yeah. - Okay.
I got to admit, you got some guts there, huh, buddy.
Oh, see, I prefer to call it inner strength.
You know, I just... I got to harness it.
Wah!
You look great.
Oh, good.
It is so good to be back to normal.
And I left you a little souvenir.
Cool! Look at that. (CHUCKLES)
So, I'll see you later?
Uh, no.
I have a ton of French homework to do.
And then I have a meeting with the junior overachievers club.
Okay, have fun.
But, uh, maybe after that...
we could, like, go to the mall.
BOTH: Oh, my gosh.