1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,543
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,212
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

3
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:14,723
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,871
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

5
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,623
(EXPLOSION)

6
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WEXLER: Each of
you holds in your hands

7
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,799
the profile of the student
you will be tutoring

8
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:52,386
in the county-wide
"Writing is Fun!" program.

9
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,347
You've been randomly
assigned a third grader

10
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,848
from somewhere in the county

11
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to shepherd through the
exciting world of creative writing.

12
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,855
But before we open your
envelopes and meet your little buddies

13
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,108
I'd like to thank
you for volunteering.

14
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,110
Okay?

15
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,637
You may now open your
envelopes and meet your little friend.

16
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,830
Oh, no!

17
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,875
This cannot be happening.

18
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:28,422
Just think of all the gazillions of
kids who need tutors, you got me.

19
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,342
I know. All right,
you know what?

20
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,053
How about you stay
out of my drawers?

21
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,432
Okay, Beans, so, let's
get started, shall we?

22
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What do you want to write about?

23
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,770
How about... pretzels?

24
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Why pretzels?

25
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,191
'Cause they're bendy and salty

26
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,736
- and you dip them in mustard.
- Hmm.

27
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,988
On second thought how
about we just eat some?

28
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,741
Uh, Beans, you can
have pretzels later.

29
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Right now, you are gonna
do some creative writing.

30
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,831
- What's that? It sounds hard.
- No. No, it's not so hard.

31
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,416
It's just making up stories.

32
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,752
Okay. I can do that.

33
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,840
I got nothing.

34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,509
(SIGHS)

35
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,316
MAN: (ON TV) <i>And
the last thing I remember</i>

36
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:20,891
<i>was a blinding light shining in my
truck and I woke up in a turnip field</i>

37
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,684
<i>and my shoelaces were gone.</i>

38
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,853
<i>I'm sure it was them aliens.</i>

39
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,566
<i>Is this the fabricated story
of a lonely chicken farmer,</i>

40
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,862
<i>or indisputable proof that
aliens walk amongst us?</i>

41
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,574
<i>One thing we know for
sure, we are not alone.</i>

42
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,160
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

43
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,371
- Hey, dude.
- What?

44
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,707
Do you think aliens
really live among us?

45
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,128
Well, we don't have
turnip fields in Sacramento.

46
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,546
Do we?

47
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:56,051
Well, I don't know.
What's a turnip look like?

48
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,513
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- (BOTH GASPING)

49
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,723
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

50
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:05,477
Dude, you want to get
the door with me, man?

51
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,687
Why?

52
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,649
I just, uh... think
it would be funner

53
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,317
if, uh, we did it
together, you know?

54
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,361
Okay. Sure.

55
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,904
Okay, go ahead, buddy.

56
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,156
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

57
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,093
(BOTH SCREAMING)

58
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,137
My name's Mason.

59
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,016
I'm looking for
Bernard Aranguren.

60
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,019
Bernard... Oh, Beans.
Yeah, he's up with my sister.

61
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,521
Why? What's the problem?

62
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,189
You let me worry about that.

63
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,606
Okay.

64
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,444
All right, I'll go get him.

65
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,786
- So, Mason...
- I'd prefer you didn't talk.

66
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,581
(MOUTHING)

67
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,418
Okay, you know what?
Um, forget imagination.

68
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,628
Just... Just write what
you're feeling right now.

69
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,172
Oh, I could do that.

70
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,591
Good. That's great.

71
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,429
- Does "gassy" have two S's or three?
- (SIGHS)

72
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,264
- Two.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

73
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,308
- LOUIS: <i>Ren? Ren, open the door.</i>
- Hold on.

74
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,269
You know what? Just keep
working, and, um, you're doing great.

75
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,730
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Yes. What is it?

76
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,815
Some creepy guy in a
suit wants to see Beans.

77
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,066
Hold on one second.

78
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:39,029
Beans, uh... (CHAIR SQUEAKING)

79
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,240
Okay, he was right
here a minute ago.

80
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,617
Oh, well.

81
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,083
Oh. Good. You're back.

82
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,127
Yeah, so, uh, Beans isn't here.

83
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,546
When do you expect him home?

84
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,633
- Home? I mean, he doesn't live here.
- No.

85
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,510
Interesting.

86
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,347
He gave this address
as his residence.

87
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,391
- That is interesting.
- Yeah.

88
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,893
You know where he lives?

89
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,704
- Down by the restaurant on...
- Like, four blocks.

90
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,064
- No. On Fourth Street by the restaurant.
- You sure?

91
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,358
Okay. I see how it's gonna be.

92
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,112
Well, you tell your little friend
Bernard that Mason's looking for him.

93
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,758
Mason, why don't you just
tell us what this is regarding

94
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:24,783
and then maybe we can...

95
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,670
It's regarding official
government business.

96
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,413
We know about the
long journey home.

97
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,887
Dude, that Mason guy
was pretty creepy, huh?

98
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,171
- Yeah.
- Comes over here looking for...

99
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,259
Dude, what are you doing?

100
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,097
- I don't know.
- What's up?

101
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:52,102
What's up, Beans? Um, some
guy was looking for you, buddy.

102
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,687
I never heard of him.

103
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,399
Yeah, I... I didn't even
say his name yet, buddy.

104
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,276
But his name's Mason.

105
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,152
Never heard of him, either.

106
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,405
You know, Beans, um,

107
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,323
he said he knew about
the long journey home.

108
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,205
I don't know what you're
talking about. I got to go.

109
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,377
Dude...

110
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,798
isn't it weird that Beans is always
here and we don't know where he lives?

111
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,675
Yeah, yeah, or how he got here.

112
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,889
LOUIS: Dude, where is he going?

113
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,058
(BEEPING)

114
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:35,145
Hey, dude, where did your dad get
these night vision binoculars anyway?

115
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,938
I don't know. I'm
not supposed to ask.

116
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,984
(WHIRRING)

117
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,777
LOUIS: Oh! I lost him.

118
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,029
Where'd he go?

119
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,424
I don't know. I saw him scurrying
into those bushes right there,

120
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,116
and then that's
where I lost him.

121
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,392
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Buddy, buddy, look!

122
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,495
Are those his footprints
right there? You see them?

123
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,334
- Dude, let's follow him.
- Yeah.

124
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,640
Nice.

125
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,684
Dude?

126
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,313
These prints just end.
They just stop right there.

127
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,814
- They stop?
- Yeah.

128
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,567
Well, uh, maybe
he flew away, right?

129
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,778
(LAUGHS) Right?

130
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,155
Dude, I... I don't know.
This is getting kind of freaky.

131
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,657
You just want to
get out of here?

132
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,825
Yeah, kind of.

133
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,202
All right.

134
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,371
Wait.

135
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,581
(INSECTS CHIRPING,
COYOTES YIPPING)

136
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,375
Dude, which way is out of here?

137
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,962
- Didn't we come up from up there?
- Wait one second.

138
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,888
- I've got my compass right here.
- Oh, nice.

139
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:44,965
Um, it's...

140
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,385
Why is my compass freaking out?

141
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,222
Dude, I don't know.
Maybe, uh, there's some...

142
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,183
Some magnetic fields coming
off of Beans' mother ship, right?

143
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,852
(BOTH LAUGH)

144
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,647
(CRYING)

145
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,232
Oh, my God!

146
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,489
(WHINY CHITTERING)

147
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,041
(STAIRS CREAKING)

148
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,384
(CHITTERING)

149
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,234
Beans, you are early.
Let's see how you're doing.

150
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,402
Don't look.

151
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,797
Well, why? I just want to
see what your story's about.

152
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,782
When the time is right, the
whole world will know my story.

153
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,553
Oh, come on. Well, I... I
can see that you're motivated

154
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,619
so I'll just... I'll...

155
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,580
Hmm.

156
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,374
(SIZZLING)

157
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,585
Oh, that is a genius, buddy.

158
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,796
Yeah, buddy. It
really wasn't anything.

159
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,049
All I did was take the
antitheft tracking device

160
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,634
out of my mom's car and
soldered it to this here belt.

161
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,345
Oh, yeah? Now, all we've got
to do is get old Beans wear it

162
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,556
and track him straight
to his mother ship.

163
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,726
It shouldn't be long now.

164
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,895
I smell pig strips.

165
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,606
I told you.

166
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,691
(BEEPING)

167
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,319
Wow! Cool belt!

168
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,446
Yeah. This little thing.

169
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,492
You can't have it,
Beans. It's a big boy belt.

170
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,036
I could sport that
belt if I wanted.

171
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,080
- I don't know.
- TWITTY: Lou, come on.

172
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,207
It's too tight for
you anyways, man.

173
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,833
I don't know.

174
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,045
No. I don't think so, dude.
His fingers are too greasy.

175
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,647
- He'll get it all over the place.
- No. Look.

176
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,050
Look, he's a good kid. He loves
the belt. Come on, cut him a break.

177
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,384
Please.

178
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,512
All right, Beans.

179
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,722
But you got to promise me, dude.

180
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,689
You got to be careful with this
belt. You got to take it straight home.

181
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,103
- I promise.
- LOUIS: You promise? All right, dude.

182
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,854
- You promised.
- Okay, I promise.

183
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,356
All right, dude.

184
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,817
- There you go.
- Get it really tight.

185
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,402
- LOUIS: There you go, buddy.
- BEANS: Cool.

186
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,863
(BELT BEEPING)

187
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,284
(BEEPING)

188
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,079
(PANTING)

189
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,498
Dude, I don't think
anyone lives out here.

190
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,417
Stay the course,
Twitty. Stay the course.

191
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,253
Let's go. Let's go!

192
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,153
It looks like he's headed
for that clearing over there.

193
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,345
- Yeah?
- See it?

194
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,640
Go!

195
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,309
I'm right behind you.

196
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,197
This is not a spaceship.

197
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,992
Spaceship? It's a house, Twitty.

198
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,831
TWITTY: Dude, I cannot
believe we went through all that.

199
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,373
Yeah, I think we went a
little overboard this time.

200
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,628
I mean, check it out. It's a normal
house with a normal mailbox

201
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,130
- and a normal porch.
- Yeah.

202
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,424
BEANS: <i>Mom, Dad, I'm home.</i>

203
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,770
And two normal
giant-sized termite parents!

204
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,022
(BOTH SCREAMING)

205
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,652
Mommy!

206
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:45,163
You guys realize that this
is completely crazy, right?

207
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,208
Beans is a pest, but he's
not some big, giant alien bug.

208
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,251
No, no, I saw what
I saw, all right?

209
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,337
I know what I saw.
You saw what I saw, too.

210
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,964
- I saw it.
- So you can't tell me that.

211
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,049
There was this big,

212
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,552
huge exoskeletal being
walking around like this, all right?

213
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,012
Look, Ren, all I know

214
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,140
is that if Beans starts sprouting
tentacles I'll be all over it.

215
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,642
Come on, Beans.

216
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:06,809
Hey, guys.

217
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,397
Donnie, Louis and Twitty
think that Beans and his family

218
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,292
are a big bunch of alien
bugs from another planet.

219
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:16,152
- TWITTY: That's right.
- I saw it. I saw what I saw.

220
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,361
Whatever. Hey, Lou, tell
Mom I'm borrowing the car.

221
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,865
- All right.
- (REN SIGHS)

222
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,285
Well, if you'll please excuse
me, I have a termite to tutor.

223
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:28,873
(IN BUG-LIKE VOICE) Whatever, Ren,
whatever you say. Whatever tutor says.

224
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,169
Beans?

225
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,423
(GROANS) Beans,
you may not be an alien

226
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,884
but you are definitely a slob.

227
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,844
Oh, look.

228
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,473
He finished his
story. How sweet.

229
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,396
What is this?

230
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,488
- Louis!
- What was that?

231
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,825
(LOUIS GRUNTS)

232
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,368
Stop.

233
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:09,038
Look, there's something really
weird going on with Beans.

234
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,207
- Oh, you think so?
- Yeah, yeah.

235
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,750
Look what he
wrote for his story.

236
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,252
All this?

237
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:15,962
REN: Mm-hmm.

238
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,006
Man, that is so E.T.

239
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,134
You know what this
is? This here... This...

240
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,886
- is a manual to take over the planet.
- You're right.

241
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,972
Whatever it is, it's
creeping me out.

242
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,140
BOTH: It's creeping...

243
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,474
That just creeped me out.

244
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,435
- (BANGING AT DOOR)
- (ALL GASP)

245
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,437
Ren, you wanna get
that? I'm busy right now.

246
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:35,315
- Oh, no way. No way, Louis.
- I'm busy, I'm doing stuff.

247
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,067
- Go.
- LOUIS: Okay. Fine. Just chill.

248
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,738
(BANGING AT DOOR)

249
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,544
That's the guy.

250
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,358
That's the government agent,
that's the guy who's looking for Beans.

251
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,360
- He's at the door right now.
- REN: Government agent?

252
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,903
- He's at the door.
- Yeah, he was here the other day.

253
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,679
- I think he's with the ATD.
- Yeah.

254
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,930
ATD.

255
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,897
Yeah, you know, the
Alien Tracking Department.

256
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,809
This is so ridiculous.

257
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,144
Really? Really?

258
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,771
Well, the other day, he told us

259
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,315
to tell Beans that he knew all
about the long journey home.

260
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,733
What about that right there?

261
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,656
Yeah, and what did Beans
say when you told him?

262
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,028
- Told me what?
- Oh.

263
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,863
ALL: Beans.

264
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,240
I've been looking
all over for you guys.

265
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,825
Are you trying to avoid me?

266
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,744
- No.
- No. No, actually...

267
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,156
I know what you're thinking.

268
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,247
Dude, dude, he's in our brains!

269
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,917
No eye contact! Look
away! Look away!

270
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,502
- (BANGING ON WINDOW)
- (SCREAMING)

271
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,837
Bernard Aranguren, I
know you're in there!

272
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,716
Oh, no, that's Mason.
You guys got to hide me!

273
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,885
Right here. Underneath
this. Get under.

274
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,595
TWITTY: Beans, Beans, Beans.

275
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,332
- Right here, buddy.
- Under here.

276
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,058
MASON: I know you're in there!

277
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,686
Look, I know you're not like
us and that's okay, you know?

278
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,145
- It's not a problem.
- (MASON YELLING)

279
00:14:57,169 --> 00:14:58,747
But you gotta be honest with
me. You know what I'm saying?

280
00:14:58,771 --> 00:14:59,571
You gotta be honest.

281
00:14:59,671 --> 00:15:01,901
- What's going on?
- It's hard to explain,

282
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,945
but that guy Mason's
out to get me.

283
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,989
- He's a very bad man.
- (BANGING AT DOOR)

284
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,992
Aranguren, it's over.
You cannot run anymore.

285
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,036
(BANGING AT DOOR)

286
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,163
Please, you guys got to help me.

287
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,457
You don't know what he
would do to someone like me.

288
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,666
He'd probably split you
up the gut and dissect you.

289
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,212
- (SCREAMING)
- Stop, stop, stop.

290
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,548
Guys, we have got to
get Beans out of here.

291
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,886
This is so much fun.

292
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,348
Fun? How much do
you weigh? (GRUNTS)

293
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,892
Aranguren!

294
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,147
Aranguren, I see you!

295
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,983
- You can't hide anymore!
- Hang on, Beans.

296
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,318
I'll get you, Aranguren.

297
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,904
(LAUGHS) We got him beat.

298
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,199
Beans, we did it,
buddy. We did it, man!

299
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,952
We're free! Enjoy
your freedom, Beans.

300
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,745
Feel the wind in your face.

301
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,834
I think I got a bug in my teeth.

302
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,878
Mm, crunchy.

303
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,547
(POLICE CHATTER OVER RADIO)

304
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,300
Reporting a stolen bike.

305
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,676
(SIREN BLARING)

306
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,052
Beans!

307
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:14,223
OFFICER: Please stop your
bike now and pull over to the left.

308
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,394
It's not looking good,
Beans. Get down.

309
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:19,936
OFFICER: Pull over.

310
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,541
- Pull your bike over to the left.
- It's not looking good, man.

311
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,900
OFFICER: Please pull over.

312
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,195
Oh, man, Beans. (SCREAMS)

313
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,536
(CHEERING)

314
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,206
Beans, you did it!
We're flying, buddy!

315
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,087
I'm the king of
the world, Beansy!

316
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,635
- Hmm?
- (SCREAMING)

317
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,473
(LOUIS AND BEANS GROANING)

318
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,308
(SIREN BLARING)

319
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,685
- Beans, you okay?
- Yeah.

320
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,441
- LOUIS: Coppers!
- (TIRES SCREECH)

321
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,159
I'll take it from here, Officer.

322
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,911
EILEEN: Boys, are you okay?

323
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,496
LOUIS: Yeah, I'm fine.

324
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,123
I'm fine.
- He's not fine.

325
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,875
He thought we could fly.

326
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:24,669
People, listen.

327
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,588
There's no reason to be scared
of this boy or his alien ways.

328
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:31,175
All right? 'Cause I think
with love and understanding,

329
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:34,136
Beans and his family,
his whole family,

330
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,639
can become upstanding
citizens of our community.

331
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:39,392
Louis, I think you may have
a fever. Let me feel your head.

332
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,102
No, no, no, Mom, I'm fine.

333
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,812
Mom, um, Louis thinks,

334
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,022
and there is some evidence
to support this theory

335
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,483
that, um, Beans is
from another planet.

336
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,610
What? No, I'm not.

337
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,404
Beans, look, dude. Look, man.

338
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,215
There's no reason to
pretend anymore, all right?

339
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,365
You're with friends.

340
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,412
Come on, nobody's gonna
dissect my little buddy.

341
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,702
That's right, Beans.

342
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:58,869
Yeah, that's right.

343
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,665
Well, before the kid goes back to Pluto,
he better cough up that library book.

344
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,292
What? Library book?

345
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,835
Sacramento Public Library

346
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,504
takes the matter of overdue
publications very seriously.

347
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,923
I was gonna return it on time,

348
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,551
but I didn't think there'd
be so many words.

349
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,720
Wait, hold on.

350
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,847
<i>Long Journey Home?</i>

351
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,224
You work for the library?

352
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,393
And we always get our book.

353
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,062
Just tell me one thing.

354
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,774
Does Ginger the talking
sheep make it back to her flock?

355
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,319
All right, fine, fine. That
was one coincidence.

356
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,612
It's not a big thing.

357
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,947
What about the, uh...
What about the police car

358
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,074
that was chasing us
at 50 down the street?

359
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,077
Because you forgot to tell Mom I
borrowed the car, you lunk head.

360
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,787
She reported it stolen.

361
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:45,333
They turned on the antitheft
system and led us right to you.

362
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:48,044
Which I put on
Beansy's belt buckle.

363
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:51,255
Louis, you are in
so much trouble.

364
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,591
There's a reason for it.
There's a reason we did that.

365
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,510
We were following him and
his footprints disappeared, Mom.

366
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,138
No, what happened was...

367
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,860
Fine, maybe he was in the tree.
But what about Twitty's compass?

368
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,071
Huh? It was spinning around

369
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,406
because what was happening
was Beans was manipulating

370
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,785
the Earth's ultra-magnetic field
to make it spin around all crazy.

371
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,620
Why's my compass freaking out?

372
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:29,877
Louis, a simple magnet
could mess up a compass.

373
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,254
Um, you mean like
my lucky magnet?

374
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,758
LOUIS: Oh, Twitty.
I don't believe this.

375
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:39,053
Any other unexplained
phenomenon, honey?

376
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,638
Yes, uh...

377
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,100
Ren, Ren, what about the alien
manifesto he wrote on your computer?

378
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,558
Now, wait.

379
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,188
I have a feeling that this,
too, has a logical explanation.

380
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,529
BEANS: Hmm... "weird
symbols." What's that?

381
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,739
Cool.

382
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,242
"Weird symbols" font.

383
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,911
You know, I always
wondered what that was for.

384
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,831
All right, fine. Fine, there's
an explanation for everything.

385
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,916
Except one little detail.

386
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,502
Beansy's parents
are giant termites!

387
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,379
What about that, Beans?

388
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,089
Yeah, what about that?

389
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,091
(IMITATES ALIEN)

390
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,473
- DAD: <i>We come in peace.</i>
- MOM:<i> But we leave in pieces.</i>

391
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,060
DAD: <i>If bugs are bugging you call
the folks at Aranguren Exterminators.</i>

392
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,311
MOM:<i> They'll zap 'em.</i>

393
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,105
BOTH: <i>Zap 'em good.</i>

394
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,362
So your parents
are exterminators.

395
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,198
They were trying on their
costumes for their commercial.

396
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,743
You see, Beans, I
told them, you know.

397
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,929
Twitty and Ren, they came
to this horrible conclusion

398
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,538
and for that, I am
very sorry, Beans.

399
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:50,040
Nice try, Louis, but I'm sorry.

400
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,543
- Yeah, me, too, buddy.
- It still hurts.

401
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:56,881
Yes, it's very sad.
You can go home now.

402
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,132
What about dinner?

403
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,009
- We're, uh...
- Mom, Mom...

404
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,844
It's the least we could do.

405
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,472
I suppose.

406
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,725
What about pudding
for dinner? I like pudding.

407
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,226
Oh, how about Chinese food?

408
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,479
No, no, no, no! Stop
it, that's my Chinese.

409
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:16,192
(ALL TALKING OVER EACH OTHER)

410
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:25,993
WEXLER: <i>And I can't tell you</i>

411
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,788
how proud I am that you
were able to inspire your tutees

412
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,790
to write such wonderful stories.

413
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,793
One in particular really
tickled my funny bone.

414
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,003
(LAUGHS) Let's see, here it is.

415
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:39,340
"'My Day as an Alien, '
by Bernard Aranguren."

416
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,091
(LAUGHS) What a hoot.

417
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,345
Tell us, Ren, how did you get
the little guy to be so creative?

418
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:49,433
Oh, well, let's just say some
kids have big imaginations.

419
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,688
Hey, Dad. That was
a close one, huh?

420
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,608
(CHITTERING)

421
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,991
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)