1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:01,543
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,253
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:14,847
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,036
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

5
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,289
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,837
Check that out. It's
one of the Olsen twins.

7
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,048
- Which one?
- Ashley.

8
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,577
Oh, right, 'cause
of the freckle.

9
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,803
Dude, I am the king of
celebrity chip look-alikes

10
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,680
- all over the world! Yes?
- Dude! Louis!

11
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,886
I wouldn't be saying that
aloud on the street, okay?

12
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,340
- Just keep it...
- Hey, gents.

13
00:00:58,934 --> 00:00:59,935
What's up?

14
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,937
Take five, Grayson.

15
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,647
Why is that kid wearing a leash?

16
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,816
(CHUCKLES) Maybe he bites.

17
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,109
Mock if you must

18
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,861
but this is my cousin,
Grayson Gribalski.

19
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,781
Grayson, Monsieurs
Louis and Twitty.

20
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:13,949
I'm honored.

21
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,368
Don't suck up, Grayson. They
can't help with your career.

22
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,078
Grayson's in training.

23
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,873
Tom, no offense but he
seems a little soft for boxing.

24
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,667
(BOTH LAUGH)

25
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,627
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

26
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,214
Newsflash: Grayson's in
training to defend his title

27
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,300
in the Little
Mr. Sacktown Pageant.

28
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,261
What? That little
guy right there

29
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,721
is Little Mr. Sacktown?!

30
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,098
He's won the crown
two years in a row.

31
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,934
Tom, nobody cares
about your dumb pageant.

32
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,728
It's just a popularity contest.

33
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,355
It happens to be an
extremely positive

34
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,900
personality, fitness and
creative-expression competition.

35
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,152
Oh.

36
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,487
Did I mention the
thousand-dollar prize?

37
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:53,739
A thousand dollars?

38
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,782
That's how we got
these snazzy wheels.

39
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,618
Mush, Grayson!

40
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,668
There you go, Lefkowitz.

41
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,630
The Surgeon General's dos
and don'ts of skateboard safety.

42
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,131
Be careful next time, okay?

43
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,800
So, ladies, are we ready
for the mall this afternoon?

44
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,636
Oh, half-off sale at
Scrunchy Junction.

45
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,262
I am so there.

46
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:18,805
My turn.

47
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,432
(BELLS TINKLING)

48
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:24,770
On second thought, Ren.

49
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:28,607
I don't think I'll be partaking
in this afternoon's excursion.

50
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:29,983
Excuse me.

51
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:32,986
Monique...

52
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,489
- What flew up her nose?
- I'm not too sure.

53
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,700
- Ow! Ow!
- (REN GASPS) Oh!

54
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,287
Hey, Look at this, Beans, okay?

55
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,539
Little Mr. Sacktown
gets to appear

56
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,792
on public access TV
with the Mayor himself.

57
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,001
You like that, huh?

58
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,671
Big deal. It's just cable.

59
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:51,838
Tawny?

60
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,383
Well, I'm not really
a pageant person

61
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,635
but Beans would look
really cute in a little tuxedo.

62
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:57,842
Don't you think so, Louis?

63
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,180
I think it's a big waste of
time. That's what I think.

64
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,140
Hey, kids!

65
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,600
BOTH: Hi, Mr. Stevens.

66
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:07,145
Hey, Lou, I'm headed up to the
roof to install our new satellite dish.

67
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,313
Nice.

68
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,441
300 channels of crystal-clear
digital programming.

69
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,193
- Cool.
- Yep.

70
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,945
I sure could use
some help up there.

71
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,530
Yeah, bet you could.

72
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,989
Lou, are you getting the hint?

73
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,660
Oh, right, of course. Sorry.

74
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,414
Donnie, Dad needs
your help outside!

75
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:29,209
TWITTY: Here's a sample question. If
a genie granted you one magical wish

76
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,752
what would you wish for?

77
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,172
- Bacon.
- Bacon.

78
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,802
Okay, Beans. I think the judges
need to hear, like a whole sentence.

79
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,680
Crispy bacon.

80
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,222
Still a fragment,

81
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,100
- but we're getting there, right?
- Right.

82
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,436
No, no, you're not
getting there. You're not.

83
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,812
You're not getting anywhere.

84
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,749
You guys don't know
what you're doing!

85
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:54,901
You don't get to be Little
Mr. Sacktown by talking about bacon.

86
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,278
I'm sorry.

87
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,948
Beans... Hey, buddy, listen.

88
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,908
Beans, do you want that crown?

89
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,082
Do you want to be able
to walk down that runway

90
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,122
and wave to that crowd while
flashbulbs go off in your face

91
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,957
and a low-level
local celebrity sings

92
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,001
the Little Mr. Sacktown
theme song?

93
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:16,214
(SINGING)<i> He's the pint-sized
prince from Central Cali.</i>

94
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:21,261
<i>The shining star from
the San Joaquin Valley.</i>

95
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,723
- You want that, don't you, Beans?
- I do.

96
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,268
You do? Then, Beans,
let me coach you.

97
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,353
We can get the crown, man.

98
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,898
I'm putty in your hands.

99
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,402
(SCREAMING)

100
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,987
I could use a little help now!

101
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,155
(DOORBELL RINGS)

102
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,429
Hey, did you bring
the science notes?

103
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,367
- Right here.
- Come on in.

104
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,411
Let's get started.

105
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,914
Ruby should be
here in a few minutes.

106
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,080
Ruby?

107
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,835
Yeah. She went home
to feed Jaws, her iguana.

108
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:57,714
Ren, I just remembered I probably
have something that I have to do.

109
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,550
Monique... sit.

110
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:06,640
All right, what is going
on with you and Ruby?

111
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,266
It's just going to
sound so petty.

112
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:13,021
No. Look, it's bothering you
and it's affecting your friendship.

113
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:16,608
Okay, but you have to double
swear not to say anything to Ruby.

114
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,901
I swear. I swear.

115
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,279
Remember earlier today
when Ruby signed that cast?

116
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,700
<i>Well, that was my
googly-eyed pen.</i>

117
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,036
<i>I loaned it to her two
weeks ago, in Science</i>

118
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,580
and she never gave it back.

119
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,916
But it's just a pen.
Ask her for it back.

120
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,168
It's a matter of principle.

121
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,055
A true friend should
not have to be reminded

122
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,756
to return something so
precious as the googly-eyed pen

123
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,551
your great-aunt Tasha gave
you for your sixth birthday.

124
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:45,762
Well, how is she going to know that
you're mad at her if you don't tell her?

125
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,473
If she's really my
friend, she'll figure it out.

126
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,308
And you double swear
not to say anything.

127
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,643
I know.

128
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:55,939
Good, good, good. You've got
decent bone structure there, Beans.

129
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,649
Let's a have a look-see.

130
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,903
Uh-huh, that's a good
sign. It's not shining through.

131
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,197
- Uh, Louis.
- Wha...

132
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,076
- Forget it.
- Yeah.

133
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,620
Tawny, are all the
consent forms signed?

134
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,539
Yeah, everything's in order.

135
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,082
Next step is we
ought to find out

136
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,126
a talent you're going
to do at the competition.

137
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,919
Beans, do you know any songs?

138
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,629
I know "Polly Wolly Doodle."

139
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,673
Great. Then sing your heart out.

140
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,592
I don't know the words.

141
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,052
Okay, then just hum it.

142
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,972
I don't like to hum. It
makes my teeth itch.

143
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:34,144
Beans, just admit it! You
don't know "Polly Wolly Doodle."

144
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,729
Oh, really?

145
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,148
(ARMPIT FARTS TO TUNE
OF "POLLY WOLLY DOODLE")

146
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,650
What? Beans, you can't do...

147
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,989
Louis, was that
"Polly Wolly Doodle"?

148
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,367
Yeah. Beansy here's going to play it
for the Little Mr. Sacktown Pageant.

149
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,953
Oh, no, he is not. Not
if I'm coaching him.

150
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,623
Wait a second. Louis,
you're involved with this, too?

151
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,434
You would think that
this would be the last...

152
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,459
Thank you so much!

153
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,627
(CLEARS THROAT)

154
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,045
Always a pleasure.

155
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,963
Beans, how you doing?

156
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,632
Beans, focus, all right?

157
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,800
Focus, focus, focus.

158
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:06,968
Good.

159
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,280
Now, Beans, we got to
figure out a talent you can do

160
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,073
that's going to blow the
judges out of the water.

161
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,432
Think about it.

162
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,811
Good. Keep the form on that
one. Keep the form. There you go.

163
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,813
The last one. Go down there.

164
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,690
This one here,
Beans. Keep it going.

165
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,209
You're gonna find...
Back to the other one.

166
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,402
Keep going, Beans.
No! Over here.

167
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,878
(MUTTERING)

168
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,381
Beans!

169
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:49,260
Stop it, Beans!

170
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,304
Hey, allow me.

171
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,723
Beans, let's call
it a day, all right?

172
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:54,891
Okay, boss.

173
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,268
See you tomorrow,
bright and early.

174
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,603
Hi, Mrs. Stevens.

175
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,522
Hi, there, Beans.

176
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,901
(CHUCKLES) That
unusual little boy

177
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,945
- has certainly grown attached to you.
- Yeah.

178
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,114
I hope this wasn't
my good china.

179
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,200
No, no, no. I got it cheap
at a circus supply store.

180
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,452
Oh, well. Why?

181
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,122
Well, 'cause I'm training
Beans for the pageant.

182
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,289
Soda?

183
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,709
- You're training... For the pageant?
- Yeah.

184
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,019
I thought you said you were...

185
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,203
No, Ma, it doesn't even
matter. It doesn't even matter.

186
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,439
He doesn't have what it takes.

187
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,924
He's annoying. Just hearing
him talking gives me gas.

188
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,467
It gives me gas.
I physically hurt.

189
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,095
And then you can shine
a light through his ears.

190
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,930
I didn't know I'm
wasting my time.

191
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,557
The kid's totally hopeless.

192
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,402
So, that's a cool pen.

193
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,609
Thanks. It's kind of goofy
but that's why I love it.

194
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,989
Where'd you get it?

195
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,199
You know, I don't
really remember.

196
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,369
Oh, come on, a pen like that
doesn't appear out of thin air.

197
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,371
Why do you care so
much about my pen?

198
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,498
Well, I was just wondering.

199
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:04,002
Maybe it has an
amazing history behind it.

200
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,295
Ren...

201
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,880
it's a pen.

202
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,257
Hey, Ren.

203
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,425
Come in.

204
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,718
What does this say here?

205
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,011
Oh!

206
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,180
"I hate you. Signed, Beans."

207
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,347
"I hate..."

208
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,849
Yeah, he hates you.

209
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,309
"I hate you"?

210
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,187
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

211
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,320
Don't you think you've
had enough, sweetie?

212
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,739
It's been one of
those days, Sylvia.

213
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,574
I hear you, kid.

214
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,292
Hey, buddy.

215
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,044
What do you want?

216
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,338
Well, I got your note.

217
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,341
Guess you heard all those
bad things I said about you, huh?

218
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,761
Beans, you mind if I
show you something?

219
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,558
Who's the freak
in the monkey suit?

220
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,061
The freak is yours truly.

221
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:04,938
That's a stupid name.

222
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,689
No, no, no, that's me.

223
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:07,899
See?

224
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,567
- You were in the pageant?
- Yeah.

225
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,945
I was a goofy little kid
with stars in his eyes.

226
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,115
I thought it'd be so cool to
wear that crown, you know?

227
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,034
What happened?

228
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,787
Well, I blew it.

229
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,872
You know, I had no coaching

230
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,749
or support team
or none of that stuff.

231
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,378
When I got out there on that
stage and looked at the audience

232
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,796
they were all laughing at me.

233
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,298
And that's when
I felt the breeze.

234
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,678
And then I looked
down and sure enough

235
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,972
my zipper was at half-mast.

236
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,516
So, I spun around real fast,
you know, so nobody saw

237
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,726
and I fell right into
the orchestra pit.

238
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,229
And let me tell you
something, Beans

239
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,690
the trombones hurt

240
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:52,735
in a way that you
will never understand.

241
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,571
- What a loser.
- Yes.

242
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,197
Which is why I
worked you so hard.

243
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,949
I was living my
dreams through you.

244
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,617
So, this is all about you?

245
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,869
Exactly, Beans.

246
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,620
Which is why we got
to get back to work.

247
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:03,788
I got some glory to grab.

248
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,998
Forget it.

249
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,500
I'm going to win that
crown on my own.

250
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,169
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Beans, Beans.

251
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,504
You can't make the
same mistake I made, man.

252
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,798
You can't go up there
and make a fool of yourself.

253
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,135
- I can and I will.
- (CAR HORN HONKING)

254
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,970
That's my ride.

255
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,097
Fine, Beans!

256
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,184
But don't expect me to be
there when you go down in...

257
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,685
(DOOR SLAMS)

258
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,984
(TINKLING)

259
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,405
Psst. Ruby.

260
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,490
Stop biting on that pen.

261
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,534
I'm sorry, I chew when I think.

262
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,411
Okay, think about this.

263
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,538
Chew on your nails
like a normal person.

264
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,041
Ren, is there a problem?

265
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,419
No, Ms. Levelson. Just
something important came up.

266
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,463
Oh. Well, if it's so important

267
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,715
why don't you tell
the rest of the class.

268
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:59,510
- Oh... I can't do that.
- Mm-hmm.

269
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,731
Okay, then, I'm just
going to have to assume

270
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,805
that you were cheating.

271
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,474
Ms. Levelson, please.

272
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,060
She was just bugging
me about this stupid pen.

273
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,811
She's, like, obsessed with it.

274
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:09,979
Excuse me.

275
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,106
That pen is not stupid.

276
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,025
I have had enough!

277
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,402
That is Monique's
googly-eyed pen.

278
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,030
You borrowed it, forgot
to return it; now return it!

279
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,367
Monique, I had no idea.

280
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,868
I'm so sorry.

281
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,373
I forgive you.

282
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,586
If Ren was a good friend,
she would've told me.

283
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,963
(SCOFFS) Me?

284
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,049
Ren, you broke a double swear.

285
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:41,928
I... You guys put me
in a horrible situation

286
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,596
and now you're blaming <i>me.</i>

287
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,765
I am so out of here.

288
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,479
After I finish this test

289
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,439
I am so out of here.

290
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,191
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- <i>Sack.</i>

291
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,236
ANNOUNCER: <i>Welcome to the 25th
Annual Little Mr. Sacktown Pageant.</i>

292
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,780
<i>And now, here there are direct
from TV's</i> Cartoon Carnival

293
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,366
<i>your host for the 25th
consecutive year...</i>

294
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:06,035
<i>Uncle Tuck and Saucy!</i>

295
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,663
Thank you, Neil.
Thank you, folks.

296
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,124
Hey, welcome, welcome.
Welcome, everybody.

297
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,971
Hey, Saucy, why don't
you welcome the folks

298
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,836
to the Little
Mr. Sacktown Pageant.

299
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,629
You just did that, knucklehead.

300
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,590
- (GIGGLES)
- Saucy... (LAUGHTER)

301
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,802
Hey, Saucy, are you
excited about tonight?

302
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,431
Where's what's-his-name,
parking his bicycle?

303
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,308
Um, actually, Beans

304
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,101
Louis isn't going to
be able to make it.

305
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,686
Oh, well, who cares?

306
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,646
I have a pageant to win.

307
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,148
(CHATTER FROM TV)

308
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,776
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

309
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,988
What? You guys haven't
moved for five hours.

310
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,364
What are you watching?

311
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,158
Shh! Program Guide.

312
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,368
STEVE: Do you know how
many channels we have?

313
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,330
Oh, that's
ridiculous. I'm driving.

314
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,956
MAN: (ON TV) <i>Next
Wednesday night...</i>

315
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,708
(MUSIC PLAYS)

316
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:57,378
<i>Dirty sink...</i> Hey,
honey. You okay?

317
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,341
No. My two best friends hate
me over a stupid, ugly pen.

318
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,177
- (CHANNELS CHANGING)
- That's too bad. (LAUGHS)

319
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,554
But look how many
channels we have.

320
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,473
<i>Bernard Aranguren.</i>

321
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,683
(MUSIC PLAYS)

322
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,226
Is that Beans?

323
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,022
(APPLAUSE)

324
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,735
Aw, dude, I knew you'd be
here for the little guy no doubt.

325
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,695
Oh, no, I'm just here
'cause the little guy

326
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,238
owes me 12 bucks for bacon.

327
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,948
- Oh.
- So, how's he doing?

328
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,909
(ALL GASP)

329
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,077
Aw, Beans.

330
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,719
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYS)

331
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,138
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

332
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,935
(LAUGHTER)

333
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,603
(APPLAUSE)

334
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,775
Whoo!

335
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,659
That kid's really got charisma.
Maybe he should see a doctor.

336
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,245
Saucy... And now
our final contestant.

337
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,081
Little Mr. Sacktown
for two years running

338
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,250
Grayson Gribalski.

339
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,918
Whoo!

340
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,591
Hey, Saucy, that looks like the
tuxedo you wore at your third wedding.

341
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,301
And I'm still paying
for that mistake.

342
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:28,845
AUDIENCE: Saucy...

343
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,097
<i>We'll be right back.</i>

344
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,932
<i>For those of you
folks watching at home</i>

345
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,643
<i>here's the latest
judges' scores.</i>

346
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,549
Hey, check it out, Beans and
Grayson are tied for the lead.

347
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,334
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Great, let's check the guide.

348
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,026
- No. Let go. Stop it.
- Come on. Please.

349
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,352
- Oh, come... Ow!
- Stop. Stop.

350
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,446
(DOORBELL RINGS)

351
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,989
I'll get it.

352
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,035
Ren, we felt terrible.

353
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,537
You were right.

354
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,414
We put you in a
horrible position.

355
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,166
Please forgive us.

356
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,918
Oh, of course, I
forgive you guys.

357
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,043
Ooh!

358
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,841
But from now on we have to
be totally honest with each other.

359
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,676
- Brutally.
- Completely.

360
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:12,680
And, Ren, we felt so
bad about how we acted

361
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,599
we wanted to give you this.

362
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,603
- Your very own googly-eyed pen.
- Don't you just love it?

363
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,857
Well, um, since we're
being completely, brutally

364
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,610
totally honest here, um...

365
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,989
I... (TINKLING)

366
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,450
I love it!

367
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,540
Next up for our
interview question...

368
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,376
Hey, surf's up for
Grayson Gribalski.

369
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,878
(APPLAUSE)

370
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,216
If you could have any superpower

371
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,759
what would it be and why?

372
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:54,263
If I could have a superpower,
I would want world peace.

373
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,515
- What?
- (APPLAUSE)

374
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,891
That's not a power.

375
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,519
- That's a brilliant answer, Jason.
- Grayson.

376
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,354
Grayson, Jason. Whatever.

377
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,813
All right, thank you very much.

378
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:08,152
All right, our next interviewee
and final contestant

379
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,114
is the very dapper
Bernard "Beans" Aranguren.

380
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,908
(APPLAUSE)

381
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:17,036
(CHEERING)

382
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:18,871
All right, Beans

383
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,875
if a magic genie could
grant you any wish

384
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,418
what would that wish be?

385
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,255
Don't say bacon,
Beans. Don't say bacon.

386
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,423
I would say bacon.

387
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,590
Oof.

388
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,927
Oh, all right. Thank
you very much, Beans.

389
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,303
Mister, let me finish.

390
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,432
I wish I had enough bacon
for everyone in the world

391
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,935
so that no one would
ever be hungry again.

392
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,771
Oh, that's a terrific answer.

393
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,022
(APPLAUSE)

394
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,524
I love you, Beans.

395
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:47,984
I love you.

396
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,610
(APPLAUSE)

397
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,446
He... he... he's in the zone.

398
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,282
Don't say that, Cousin Grayson.

399
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,928
We still have the
talent competition.

400
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,451
Now go, go, go.

401
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,371
- (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)
- (AUDIENCE CLAPS)

402
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:06,168
(TRUMPET FANFARE)

403
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,921
(MARCHING BAND MUSIC PLAYING)

404
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,132
- (APPLAUSE)
- (LAUGHING)

405
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,926
(ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING)

406
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,554
- (APPLAUSE)
- UNCLE TUCK: Oh, terrific!

407
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,515
(PLAYS "FLIGHT OF
THE BUMBLEBEE")

408
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,190
(APPLAUSE)

409
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,405
Grayson Gribalski.
Wasn't he terrific?

410
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,656
Yeah, he was terrific.

411
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:36,824
Okay.

412
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,327
And now Bernard Aranguren.

413
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,709
Maybe he's back there
having some more bacon.

414
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,670
- Louis.
- Yeah, bud?

415
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,963
Where are the plates?

416
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,715
Beans, forget the plates.

417
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,689
Now you got this far
doing it your own way

418
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,959
now I want you to go out
there and win this Beans style.

419
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:01,849
Bernard Aranguren!

420
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,101
(APPLAUSE)

421
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:11,108
Ladies and gentlemen
"Polly Wolly Doodle."

422
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,655
(ARMPIT SPUTTERING)

423
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,245
(FARTING TO TUNE OF
"POLLY WOLLY DOODLE")

424
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,122
(GROANING)

425
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,424
(SONG ENDS)

426
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,387
(CHEERING)

427
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,138
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

428
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:43,849
<i>Well...</i>

429
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,976
- That was really disgusting.
- Yeah.

430
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,145
He had a big lead.

431
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,022
Maybe he could still hang on.

432
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,777
And now the moment
we've all been waiting for.

433
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,612
What? You're
leaving the business?

434
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,906
Saucy, we're going to
have to have a little talk

435
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,449
when this is all over.

436
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,202
Ladies and gentlemen,
our runner-up...

437
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,537
second best contestant

438
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,206
and winner of a
much smaller crown...

439
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:08,958
Beans Aranguren.

440
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,459
(APPLAUSE)

441
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:21,220
Little Mr. Sacktown for
the third consecutive year.

442
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,472
Ladies and gentlemen,
Grayson Gribalski.

443
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:24,932
(CHEERING)

444
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,686
(APPLAUSE)

445
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:39,572
(SINGING)<i> He's the
pint-sized prince of Central Cali.</i>

446
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:44,785
<i>The shining star of
the San Joaquin Valley.</i>

447
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,330
Louis, you should be proud.

448
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,624
Beans lost to one of the greats.

449
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,335
Hey, look, and Lou, you know,
second place isn't that bad.

450
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,022
I'm surprised the
kid found his way in.

451
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,131
I know, I just don't want
him to be too crushed.

452
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,299
You know what I'm saying?

453
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,050
I got a crown! I got a crown!

454
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,386
Yeah, you did, man. Good job.

455
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:06,182
Louis, I know you
always wanted a crown.

456
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,349
What, you did?

457
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,310
Uh, y... yeah,
it's a long story.

458
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,020
I want you to have this one.

459
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,689
Beans, no, man. You
worked too hard for it.

460
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,857
Okay.

461
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,624
No, no, Beans, Beans,
I was being polite.

462
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,444
Too late... you
snooze, you lose.

463
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,612
Beans, give me my crown.

464
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,405
Beans!

465
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,595
How come you never told
me you were in that pageant?

466
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,121
'Cause you would've goofed
on me for the next hundred years.

467
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,831
That is so true.

468
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:31,999
Here you go, fellas.

469
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:34,293
- Enjoy your bacon.
- Thank you.

470
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,544
Oh, thanks.

471
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,505
Hey.

472
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:40,800
You stunk out there,
you no-talent stiff.

473
00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:44,094
I am so sick of your abuse.

474
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,683
And I'm changing the locks!

475
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:56,982
What are you looking at?

476
00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,611
(SCREAMING)