1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,543
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,253
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,723
(SLURPING)
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(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)
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(EXPLOSION)
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And here's today's
speech for the assembly.
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- (CHUCKLES) Funny opening.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
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00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,986
It's important that the kids know
that you have a sense of humor.
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00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,931
I agree. How does
the rest of my day look?
10
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,376
You have a third-period powwow
with the Science Department,
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00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,833
a fourth-period meet-and-greet
with the Junior Janitors Club,
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00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:04,064
and a fifth-period awards ceremony
with the seventh-grade spelling-bee champ.
13
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The winning word: "mnemonic."
14
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- Here you go.
- Oh.
15
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M-n-e-m-o-n-i-c. Tricky.
16
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,740
I've got to think of a
way to remember that.
17
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,577
Uh, right, sir. Now, I changed
Wednesday's lunch menu
18
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,495
from pizza sticks to
nutritious fish cups.
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- But I love pizza sticks.
- I know, and that's why
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I put a box of them in
the trunk of your car.
21
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Ren, you are by far the best student
administrative assistant I've ever had.
22
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,381
Well, I'm the only one you've
ever had, sir. I created the job.
23
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,549
Hmm, well...
24
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Hey, Mr. W., what do you
know? What do you say?
25
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Morning, Shorty.
26
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- So, who do you like in the fifth?
- Fifth what?
27
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So, Twitty, what is the most
annoying part of your day?
28
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Uh, pretending to
shower after gym class?
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Yes, yes. No, that's wrong.
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See, what I think it is,
31
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is the countless minutes
we spend each and every day
32
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,404
between classes
opening up our lockers.
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You got to turn it right,
you got to turn it left,
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you got to turn it right again.
35
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And then you've got all those
stupid numbers you have to memorize.
36
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Exactly. That's what I'm talking
about. That's why I have invented
37
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,082
the remote-control locker
opener. Check that out.
38
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Sweet!
39
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,295
So, what are we going to
do with all this extra time?
40
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,213
- Well, you could...
- You know what?
41
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,090
You know what? I'm
gonna learn Italian.
42
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,844
Right, you could
learn, um, Italian.
43
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Allow me to
demonstrate. Watch this.
44
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Ow!
45
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What in tarnation...?!
46
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Ciao, Luigi.
47
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,066
Stevens...
48
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,948
I tell you, I am my
wit's end with that boy.
49
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,201
I mean, I've tried
morning detention,
50
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I've tried afternoon detention.
51
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,539
How about weekends, holidays?
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(KNOCK ON DOOR)
53
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- Hi, Mom and Dad.
- EILEEN: Oh, hi, honey.
54
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I'm sorry to interrupt
55
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,798
but it's time to change the
ointment on that bandage.
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00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,716
(WEXLER GROANS)
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Oh, oh, and by the way,
I put a revised schedule
58
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in your box, okay?
59
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Owie!
60
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Oh, oh, ooh, ooh... I'm sorry.
61
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:04,810
And just so you know,
62
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I changed the fire alarm
from fourth period to fifth period
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because I have an
important Yearbook meeting.
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I hope that's okay, though.
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00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,068
- Oh, of course.
- Okay, good, good, good.
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00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,673
Oh, and don't forget
the pizza sticks.
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00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,322
They are in the trunk of your
car and it's parked in the sun.
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Ah, there we go.
69
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,451
Oh, go ahead, sorry.
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00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,955
Um, Mr. Wexler, I, I...
71
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,499
I hope you know that
72
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,502
Louis is really a
good-hearted person.
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00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,255
He would never hurt
anyone... intentionally.
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And by the way,
75
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if you do need a new nose,
76
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we'll pay for it.
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How's it look?
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00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,729
Not so good. It gets pretty
itchy underneath that nose cast.
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00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,107
No, no, no, not Wexler. Me, Ren.
What's up with my punishment?
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That's pretty serious.
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- I'd expect the worst, Louis.
- What?
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I... I don't understand.
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00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,948
What do people want
from me, you know?
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I'm just trying to
get by in this world.
85
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,955
Louis, as your sister,
as a concerned citizen
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00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,665
and as a fellow human being,
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I think you should listen to me.
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You bring on all your
problems yourself.
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So, for once, will you
just try following the rules?
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00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,767
Mr. Wexler, I just
had the craziest idea.
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If it's about putting Louis in a
giant metal birdcage, forget it.
92
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,855
The school board turned me down.
93
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,398
No.
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00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:36,067
Instead of always punishing him,
95
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,653
how about giving him
some responsibility?
96
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,614
You know, Ren is doing
very nicely with that.
97
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:44,451
Ren didn't get where she is today
by destroying people's good looks.
98
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,120
Look, I know my boy.
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He'll rise to the occasion, if
he feels you have faith in him.
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00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,542
Hmm... I know
what you're thinking:
101
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,961
"It's just crazy
enough to work."
102
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,757
No. I was thinking about how long
those pizza sticks might last in my trunk.
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Mr. Wexler, what about our son?
104
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,887
Oh, right.
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00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:07,182
Well, uh... uh, we'll try
that responsibility thingy.
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Uh, Ms. Johnson, could you
move my car to the shade?
107
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You're going to
be a hall monitor?
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Dude, believe me, I'm
as shocked as you are.
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It's the old "give them responsibility
so they'll change their ways" approach.
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That never works.
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Shh! Come on, you
don't want him to hear us.
112
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Okay, so when you're on hall
patrol all those stupid rules...?
113
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- Oh, they're gone.
- Hall passes?
114
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- Not on my watch.
- Tardy slips?
115
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,834
Dude, let's just say school
starts when we get there.
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Bro, with you as the law
life will be... dare I say it...
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- sweet.
- Yes, sir.
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Loitering?
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Don't mind if I do, Tom.
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00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,345
Hmm, very witty indeed.
121
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Now clear out! Move, move!
122
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- There is nothing to see here, people!
- See you later, Tom.
123
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Where do you think
you're going, mister?
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Uh, with them.
125
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,397
Not today.
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According to my official orders it
is time for you to join one of the few,
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the proud, the Hall Patrol.
128
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Hey, you! Malingerer!
129
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:07,075
Get to... (CLEARS
THROAT) Sorry. My bad.
130
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It's okay, Tom.
131
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Let's get you spruced up
for the initiation ceremony.
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You know what, Tom?
Today's not really a good time.
133
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- Move, move, move!
- Yes, yes! No, I'm moving!
134
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,005
Dude, I'm moving, I'm moving!
135
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,425
Some of your reports on
ground-dwelling animals
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00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,261
were less than
satisfactory, people.
137
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,140
Where is the passion
for the crafty hedgehog,
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the proud albino mole?
139
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,729
I'm sorry, Miss Lovelson.
140
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Take a seat, young lady.
141
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Okay.
142
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:42,944
(CLEARS THROAT)
143
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,571
Don't worry about it.
144
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,617
By the way, did you speak to
Wexler about my parking spot?
145
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,076
Oh, yeah. It's looking great.
146
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,745
Huh, yes!
147
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,289
Back to business, people.
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00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,544
(DOOR OPENS)
149
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,172
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
150
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,925
Hey, Tom, maybe you
or one of these guys
151
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,801
could flip on a light
or something, huh?
152
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,261
It's kind of dark in here.
153
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,264
You know, I'm not your
interior decorator or anything
154
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,308
but maybe you should
put some flowers over here
155
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or a pizza oven.
156
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STUDENTS: (CHANTING)
Hallus Patrolus...
157
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,274
- Hallus Passes...
- Hey, guys?
158
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,069
- Protectus de Masses...
- Um, Tom?
159
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,529
Hallus Patrolus... Silence!
160
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:32,911
Let the initiation into the
Society of Hall Monitors begin!
161
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,082
STUDENTS: Hallus Patrolus...
162
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,500
Hallus Passes...
163
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:42,128
Protectus de
Masses... Initiation?
164
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,714
I don't have to stick my hand
in anything weird, huh, Tom?
165
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,800
And now the
official patrol gear.
166
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,927
STUDENTS: Hallus Patrolus...
167
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:53,098
Passes, Protectus de Masses...
168
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,476
One Dutch whistle.
169
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,228
Bow your head, please.
170
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,942
One Official Hall
Monitor's Handbook.
171
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,780
And one pair of
nonflammable pants.
172
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,782
Hey, you know what,
Tom? I'll wear my own pants.
173
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,200
Suit yourself.
174
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,912
You know, uh, not to put a
damper on the party here...
175
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,748
I like your sashes and
stuff, um, but it seems
176
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,002
like a lot of rigmarole just to
check a guy's bathroom pass.
177
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,169
(ALL GASP)
178
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,755
Louis! Is that all
you think we do?
179
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,924
George, the soapbox.
180
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:38,893
Louis, to you, this all may seem
silly but it's a jungle up there.
181
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:43,440
I mean, there's no respect for the
rules, the law, or common decency.
182
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,442
We're the last line of defense.
183
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,653
Now, it takes guts...
184
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:53,324
it takes brains,
and it takes heart.
185
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,744
Do you have what it takes?
186
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,412
Mm-hmm.
187
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,247
Good.
188
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,125
Then I deem you
worthy to wear the sash.
189
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,945
Wait. Where are you going?
190
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,447
To class.
191
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,200
Oh, right. What
was I thinking? Ha!
192
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,869
Ah, delicious.
193
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,580
You know, school water is so
refreshing when you're ditching.
194
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,165
(LAUGHS)
195
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,334
Twitty, I'm writing you
up on a 2-1-1, buddy.
196
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,419
What's a 2-1-1?
197
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,215
In civilian language, lips
on the drinking fountain.
198
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,550
O-Okay, RoboCop, you
can stop kidding around.
199
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:53,885
Okay.
200
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,261
That's tough.
201
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,471
There you go.
202
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,182
Wh-What's a "7-1-4"?
203
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:03,603
Well, a 7-1-4 would
be defined as a, uh...
204
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,857
(CLEARS THROAT)
unauthorized, uh, hall being-in.
205
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:09,592
- You're making that up.
- No!
206
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,736
Yes. Yes, I did. Okay, I
don't know them all yet...
207
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,741
it's a pretty big manual...
but rules are rules.
208
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,573
You guys can turn
those in at detention.
209
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,034
Whoa. Detention?
Dude, come on, man.
210
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,828
This is us, we're your friends.
211
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,707
Twitty, I am the only line of
defense between you and this jungle.
212
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,418
What jungle? Two hours ago,
we were laughing about this stuff.
213
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,254
Well, we're not
laughing now, are we?
214
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:32,215
Look, Lou, listen, okay? I can't
go to detention today, okay?
215
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:36,553
But you know that maple-smoked
turkey jerky that you like so much? Yeah?
216
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,513
I've got a special
stash I'm saving for you.
217
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,597
Is this a bribe?
218
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,015
Are you trying to bribe me?
219
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:45,461
You think I can be paid off,
huh? With a piece of dried, salty...
220
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,274
oh-so-salty meat, huh?
221
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,276
Uh... yeah.
222
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,443
Well, I can't, Twitty.
223
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,029
And to prove that, you
get written up again.
224
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,201
There, Twitty.
225
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,619
Another detention?
226
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,581
Mm-hmm. That'll teach
you to respect the sash.
227
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,002
Oh, whoa, Twitty, come on.
228
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,838
We've lost him.
229
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,686
Delivery.
230
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,439
Oh, well, let's see.
231
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,026
Gum, yo-yos,
maple-smoked turkey jerky...
232
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,570
Hmm. Looks like you
guys had a busy week.
233
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,072
You know, I don't know when
these kids will get the message.
234
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,991
If you bring unlawful
materials to school,
235
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,869
the Hall Patrol will find them
and they will be confiscated.
236
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,871
Nice work, Tom.
237
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,582
Principal Wexler will
dispose of these as usual.
238
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,626
I live to serve.
239
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,085
And serve to live.
240
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,014
LOUIS: There I was,
my first day on the job
241
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,741
and they assigned
me the South Hallway,
242
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,060
the toughest beat in school.
243
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,939
The place was filled with
dirtballs and sleazebags,
244
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,815
mouth breathers
and bottom-feeders.
245
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,611
I mean, you had to watch your back
and every other part of your body.
246
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,822
I mean, you could find
anything you wanted here,
247
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,241
especially trouble.
248
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,203
Only a fool would take these
cats on, and I was just the man...
249
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,206
(GASPS) Wait a minute... What
the heck am I talking to myself for?
250
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,291
- (RECORD SCRATCHES)
- I got a job to do.
251
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,670
All right, hogs!
252
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,129
Party's over!
253
00:12:35,697 --> 00:12:37,198
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
254
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,843
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
255
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,137
What are you doing?
256
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,430
(FABRIC TEARING)
257
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,766
Ha, ha! You like
that, don't you?
258
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,437
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
259
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,231
Read the sign. Huh?
260
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,609
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
261
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,253
Go!
262
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,135
Hey, Lefkowitz, what
you doing, buddy? Huh?
263
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,803
Why don't you erase that?
264
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,138
Go ahead, erase it.
265
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,473
Feels good,
doesn't it, Lefkowitz?
266
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,143
An honest day's work. Yeah...
267
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,023
I have to tell you,
Louis, I am astounded.
268
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,733
You have really
risen to the occasion.
269
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:39,527
Well, thank you, sir. You know,
responsibility is in my blood.
270
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,030
I eat, sleep and drink it.
I even shower with it, sir.
271
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,907
Beep, beep, beep! Just
a second there, huh?
272
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,617
All right, have a nice day, you.
273
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:47,785
All right.
274
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,289
Busting your two best friends:
Ms. Dean and Mr. Twitty.
275
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:55,084
That shows a lack of compassion
that I find very promising.
276
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,211
LOUIS: Thank you, sir.
You know, rules are rules.
277
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,673
It's this graffiti problem
I'm worried about, sir.
278
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,051
You know, kids here
are malicious, you know?
279
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:07,513
And what I want to do is install a few
surveillance cameras here and there.
280
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,973
Of course, my treat.
281
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,433
Oh, hey, Mr. W.
282
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,186
Say, that kid Babe Ruth had
a pretty good game yesterday.
283
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,437
WEXLER: Yesterday?
284
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,190
Shorty, this paper's from 1932.
285
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,859
Surveillance cameras
are fine with me, Louis.
286
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,779
Far be it for me to stand in the
way of the progress you've made.
287
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,530
Thank you, sir.
288
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,909
Hey, Mr. Wexler, you
and Shorty wouldn't mind,
289
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,828
if I caught a ride to the second
floor with you guys, would you?
290
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,331
I'm sorry, Louis. I know
it's every student's dream
291
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,291
to ride in the Wexler-vator
292
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,211
but it's strictly verboten.
For my private use only.
293
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,338
It's like you said,
"Rules are rules."
294
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,964
Two, please, Shorty.
295
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,258
SHORTY: Going up!
296
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:51,933
(CHUCKLES)
297
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,227
Looks like we got us
a straggler here, Tom.
298
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,770
Excellent.
299
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,440
TOM: 91... 92...
300
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,027
Looks like Miss Tardy's
doing some illegal chewing.
301
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,033
Kids... You know, when
will they ever learn?
302
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,290
Oh...! She's trying to
ride the Wexler-vator!
303
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,502
Afternoon, Ren,
what can I do you for?
304
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,089
Holy handcuffs, Tom, come
here! Come here, come here!
305
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,590
- It's Ren, come here!
- Ren?
306
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,134
Look: Ren! You see that?
307
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,468
Three, please, Shorty.
308
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:28,970
You got it, dollface.
309
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,684
This rocks. There is nothing sweeter
than busting a family member, Tom.
310
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:35,852
- Louis...
- Hmm?
311
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,479
This is Ren Stevens here. I
mean, we're in way over our heads.
312
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,941
Tom, settle down. I don't care
who she is. She broke the rules.
313
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,818
Come on, dude.
314
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:47,572
What happened to us against
the jungle? Let's go get her, huh?
315
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:48,990
Let's go.
316
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,408
I can't.
317
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,453
I have to do sit-ups,
work my abs...
318
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,455
- tummy.
- Yeah, fine. Fine, Tom.
319
00:15:55,646 --> 00:15:57,857
You go ahead and do
that. I'll get her myself.
320
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,465
So, what do you think of my.
321
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,342
"The Principal is Your Pal"
column for the student newspaper?
322
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,761
Oh, I loved it. I
thought it was great.
323
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,639
But I did have some corrections.
324
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,975
For instance, right
here, I thought...
325
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,143
Freeze!
326
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,188
Aah! Louis, what is
the meaning of this?
327
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,024
Sir, someone you trust
is misusing their power!
328
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,693
What are you talking about?
329
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:29,013
Sir, it stinks in here. And
stinkage, thy name is...
330
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:30,990
Ren!
331
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,410
Louis, this is ridiculous.
332
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,078
Oh, really, Ren,
is it ridiculous?
333
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,790
Sir, she's tardy
after the bell rings,
334
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:43,794
she chews gum, she
cuts class, and... And?
335
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,047
She uses the Wexler-vator.
336
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,632
(GASPS)
337
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:53,513
Now, Louis, those are some
pretty serious accusations.
338
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,097
- Yeah.
- Uh...
339
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,807
this is ridiculous!
340
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,684
I come in here
day in and day out
341
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,937
and break my back for
the sake of this school,
342
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,523
and he has the nerve to come
in here and accuse me of...
343
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,483
- I can prove it!
- What do you mean?
344
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,443
Oh, yes, sir, I can prove it.
345
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,612
See, I got it on tape, Ren.
346
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:13,866
And if you don't do anything, sir,
I'm going to show the whole school.
347
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,079
Okay, uh, the two of
you need to get to class.
348
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,206
We'll deal with this
at the end of the day.
349
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,624
Mm-hmm.
350
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:27,088
You know, a few days ago, I
would have laughed this off. But no.
351
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,091
This here goes beyond
brother and sister.
352
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,927
This is about good and evil,
353
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,512
right and wrong.
354
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,597
Enough already.
Let's get this over with.
355
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,891
All right, brace yourselves.
356
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,476
Tom, roll the tape.
357
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,607
- (CHUCKLES)
- LOUIS: No...
358
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,486
Tom, put the other tape
in. Put the other tape in!
359
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,822
This is the only one. It's
been in the deck all day.
360
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,324
What? That's impossible.
Tom, where is the other tape?
361
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,036
Somebody must have switched it.
362
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:03,165
Okay, I think we've had
enough accusations for one day.
363
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,168
Whoa...
364
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,712
I see what this is.
365
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,464
You guys are all in
on this together, huh?
366
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,802
This is corrupt and
this is rotten to the core!
367
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,096
Louis, your outrage
is duly noted.
368
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,806
Now, if you'll
return to your post.
369
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,143
What's the point of even
wearing the sacred sash?
370
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,061
I never said it was sacred!
371
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,357
Listen, you can punish me and
put me in detention, whatever,
372
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,943
but if the rules don't
apply to everyone...
373
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,988
then I'm done
being a hall monitor.
374
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,370
I wonder what could've
happened to that tape.
375
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,421
Oh, no, that's fine...
376
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,512
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Go away! The whole world's rotten!
377
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:04,268
(PHONE RINGING)
378
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,228
Shello.
379
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,688
(DEEP VOICE ON PHONE): Louis?
380
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:09,690
Who's this?
381
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,526
I know what
happened to the tape.
382
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,945
Yeah, well...
383
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,616
Too bad you don't have the
guts to use your real voice!
384
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,159
This is my real voice.
385
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,535
Your phone is broken.
386
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,539
Ren, my phone is
not broken. It's very...
387
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,168
Yeah, it is broken.
388
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,503
(SIGHS)
389
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,924
Well, I've been thinking
about what you said
390
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,551
about the rules applying
to everyone, and...
391
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,011
you were right.
392
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,056
What? I'm right? Is
that what you just said?
393
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:44,850
Ren, you've never
said that to me.
394
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,562
And I also think you should know
395
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,481
that I was the one
who switched the tape.
396
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,650
Tom and Mr. Wexler
had nothing to do with it.
397
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,236
Ren, what happened to you?
398
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,240
I don't know.
399
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:03,035
I-It all started out
innocently enough.
400
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,247
A hall pass there, a
permission slip here, and...
401
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,416
and then it just
got out of control.
402
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,086
Before you knew it, I was
riding the Wexler-vator,
403
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,963
living above the law.
404
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:17,049
Ren, I don't know what
to say; I'm speechless.
405
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,593
Why couldn't you just
follow the rules, Ren?
406
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,683
You just sounded like me.
407
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,228
Yeah.
408
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,148
It's like The Invasion
of the Body Switchers.
409
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,568
I gotta make things right.
410
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,027
Ren, me too.
411
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,113
You know Twitty and
Tawny won't even talk to me?
412
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,325
Maybe I can patch things up.
413
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,581
That was so cool.
414
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,167
That first drop was
like the Matterhorn.
415
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,669
- Ren, can we please do that again?
- No.
416
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,589
No, you guys. That was
the last time for all of us.
417
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,883
Thanks, Shorty. See ya.
418
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,384
Thanks for the grand time.
419
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,751
No problem, Miss Stevens.
Don't take any wooden nickels.
420
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,891
No! You weren't...
I don't believe it!
421
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,101
How can you keep abusing
your power in such a...
422
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,979
Uh... You didn't see
anything, did you?
423
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,023
Oh...
424
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,566
See what?
425
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,040
You're doing the right
thing, Principal Wexler.
426
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,169
No one in this school
should have special privileges.
427
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,420
I know, Ren.
428
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,547
But I'm gonna miss
having you as my assistant.
429
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,382
I want to be a regular student,
430
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,635
which means I have
to get to class on time.
431
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,887
(HORN BEEPS)
432
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,430
Hey, Mr. W.
433
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,432
Nice day if it
don't rain. Hop in!
434
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,686
Shorty, I think you're going
to make a great assistant.
435
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:53,979
Where to?
436
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,314
Second floor, and step on it.
437
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:59,360
- You got it, Chief.
- (WEXLER SCREAMING)
438
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:08,536
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)