1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,502
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,045
(ALARM RINGING)
3
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,889
(SLURPING)
4
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,663
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZING)
5
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,706
(EXPLOSION)
6
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,808
(SIGHS)
7
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,984
No, no, you guys don't!
8
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,032
I was just settling down
to watch Cynthia Mills
9
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,821
do the six o'clock
news. I don't think so.
10
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,905
Well, that's great
11
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,883
'cause as soon as her
boring news program is over
12
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,493
we get to watch the hilarious
antics of Zippy Winds!
13
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,371
(GLEEFUL SCREAMING)
14
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,417
ANNOUNCER: Live from our
studios in downtown Sacramento
15
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,960
with our Action News team
16
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,670
anchor Cynthia Mills
17
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,338
sports with Sluggo Bydell
18
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,507
and Zippy Winds
with the weather.
19
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,050
(CHEERING)
20
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,177
Time for the KSAC News.
21
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,929
Good evening, Sacramento.
22
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,390
I'm Cynthia Mills
with tonight's news.
23
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,850
Isn't she great?
24
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,770
She's so honest and
intelligent and hard-hitting.
25
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,522
Our top story...
26
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,900
Horticultural history
was made today
27
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,777
as the town of Gilroy
28
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:54,781
unveiled the world's
largest garlic clove...
29
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,743
Oh, it's so hard-hitting
and honest, and...
30
00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,953
Yeah, well, it's
a slow news day.
31
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,913
And for our young newshounds
32
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:04,249
don't forget to send
in your audition tape
33
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,461
so you can be
my junior reporter.
34
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,963
Don't worry,
Cynthia, I am on it.
35
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,007
Wait, you're going to
be her junior reporter?
36
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,800
Well, first I need
to submit a tape.
37
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,594
You know, with some
sample news coverage?
38
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,929
But I have some great ideas.
39
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,216
You know, the Wombat Report?
40
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,849
All that experience
is paying off.
41
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,018
Dude, you get to meet Zippy!
42
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,895
Dude, don't call me "dude."
43
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,147
And, yeah, probably...
44
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,691
but I... I... that's not on
my list of priorities, really.
45
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,277
Ren, you need to
promise us on all that's holy
46
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,196
that when you get the job...
47
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,989
and I know you
will, you'll get it...
48
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,699
- Thanks.
- No matter what
49
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,035
you will introduce
us to Zippy Winds.
50
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,120
Promise. Scout's
honor, do it right now.
51
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,080
"I swear..." Ren?
52
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,665
- Fine, okay.
- Yeah!
53
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,309
But I don't see
what the big deal is.
54
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,518
- I don't even know what you...
- Shh!
55
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:48,853
And now for a peek
at our local forecast
56
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,421
here's our very own Zippy Winds.
57
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,880
(CHEERS)
58
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,841
(GOOFY MUSIC PLAYING)
59
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,635
Hey, Weather Heads!
60
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,346
- Yeah! Zippy!
- Zippy!
61
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,390
Let's look into
Zippy's weather chest
62
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,101
and see what's blowing
our way, shall we?
63
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,104
(HOWLING WIND)
64
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:11,149
Hey, look, it's my biggest fan!
65
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,943
It really is!
66
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,319
(HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)
67
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,613
Let's take a quick look at
the temperature, shall we?
68
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,282
(BUBBLING NOISES)
69
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,410
Oh, I'm fine, thank
you for asking.
70
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,912
Let's check the
barometer, shall we?
71
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,082
- (SQUEAKING)
- You get it!
72
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,335
It's a bear... with
an "ometer" in it!
73
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,753
You get that one?!
74
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,505
Now, seriously, folks
75
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,757
today's forecast is...
76
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,843
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
77
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,176
Moisture!
78
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,388
(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)
79
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:46,143
This is the stupidest thing
I have ever seen, ever!
80
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,894
Ren, that's what
Zippy's all about.
81
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,646
He's a celebration of stupidity!
82
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,567
Moisture!
83
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:57,279
(HYSTERICAL LAUGHING)
84
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,131
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
85
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,550
Hello, I'm Dr. Anre LaGrans
86
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,470
and welcome to
Look Smart, Be Smart,
87
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:25,390
the video that teaches you
how to appear intelligent.
88
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:26,849
Neat-o.
89
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,810
Are you tired of
being an airhead?
90
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,102
Totally.
91
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,272
Do you want to be
respected for your brain?
92
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,775
- Yes.
- Are you talking
93
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,026
to the television right now?
94
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,111
No.
95
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,405
Let's begin.
96
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,741
Reach into your
box of intelligence
97
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,618
and remove the spectacles.
98
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,000
Glasses.
99
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,794
Oh.
100
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,173
Well done.
101
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,634
You're looking smarter already.
102
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,474
Hey, there's Tawny.
Let's ask her, okay?
103
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:08,934
Hey, Tawny, would you mind
104
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,228
if I interviewed you
for an audition tape?
105
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,230
Uh, no, sure, go right ahead.
106
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,773
Okay, cool. Ready?
107
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,902
All right... three, two, one.
108
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,405
Hi, I'm Ren Stevens inside
Lawrence Junior High School
109
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,700
to ask kids what they think
about the hot topics of today.
110
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,077
Now, you are?
111
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,995
I'm Tawny Dean.
112
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,872
Tawny, many people think
113
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,208
that using the wombat
as our school mascot
114
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,168
is not only degrading
to wombats,
115
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,175
- but to all living creatures.
- Your thoughts?
116
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,798
Well, yeah, I think I'd
have to agree with that.
117
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,217
I mean, why should an
animal be put up to ridicule?
118
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,845
And, after all, if a wombat
dressed up like a human
119
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,210
and jumped around like a doofus
120
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,514
I'd be pretty insulted.
121
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,058
Hmm... that's fascinating.
122
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,393
Thank you, Tawny.
123
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,106
Twitty, if Ren does
that lame mascot story
124
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,389
we'll never get to meet Zippy.
125
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,360
Dude, dude, man, she should
do her story on bacon, bro.
126
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,779
- Why bacon?
- Everybody loves bacon, you know.
127
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,699
It's like, it's crispy, and
it's salty, and it's like...
128
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,867
it's nature's candy.
129
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,034
It's sweet.
130
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,118
(DOORBELL RINGS)
131
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:11,955
I'll get it.
132
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,171
Well, if it isn't little
Bernard from next door.
133
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:21,589
It's Beans.
134
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,260
Mmm, do you smell bacon?
135
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,180
When asked a
question, do not blurt out
136
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,891
the first thing that
comes to mind.
137
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,059
Take a moment to ponder
138
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,812
and stroke your chin thus. Hmm.
139
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,442
Remember, for all anyone knows
140
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,361
you might be a bona fide genius.
141
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,073
What part of bacon
don't you understand?
142
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,993
Hey, for all you know, I
might be a bona fide genius.
143
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,411
BEANS: Yeah, right.
144
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,788
Oh, dude, what if
your sister did a report
145
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,267
on that kid from Fulsome that got
his shirt caught in the wood chipper?
146
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,891
No, it was an old
shirt. I remember that.
147
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,753
- Hmm, I sure like bacon.
- No, Beans.
148
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,588
Ah, see, though, he
likes the bacon, man?
149
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,256
Beans, you can't;
we're thinking.
150
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,925
Let me help.
151
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,301
Beans, you can't help.
152
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,637
- This is big-boy thinking.
- Ah, come on.
153
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,723
For all you know, I might
be a bona fide genius.
154
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:12,891
(CHUCKLES)
155
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,684
A bona fide genius, yeah...
156
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,563
Come here.
157
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,440
(WHISPERING)
158
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,026
Wait a second.
159
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,195
All you said was,
"Psst, psst, psst."
160
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,362
Yeah, I know.
161
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,840
I'm killing time
working out the details.
162
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,116
If I'm involved, it's
going to cost you.
163
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,617
Name your price.
164
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,496
I want to sleep
over at your house.
165
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:35,913
(GROANS)
166
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,583
All right, fine. Agreed.
167
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,251
And the rest of that bacon.
168
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,969
(SIGHS) Okay, major
crops, major crops.
169
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,304
I can do this; major
crops in Philippines.
170
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,348
I feel there's trouble...
171
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,601
Okay... Okay...
172
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,020
Oh, hi, Beans.
173
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,606
- You need something?
- Negative.
174
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,901
Well, I sort of have a
humongous report due tomorrow
175
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,026
on the Philippines
176
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,779
so, uh, I need you to skedaddle.
177
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,072
Okay?
178
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,993
Uh, is something the matter?
179
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,912
Philippines; the
island also known
180
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,747
as the Pearl of
the South Pacific.
181
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,543
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly
right. How did you know that?
182
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,545
It just kind of came to me.
183
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:24,795
Oh, okay.
184
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,575
It's a shame you don't know
anything about the major crops.
185
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,510
Major crops... major crops...
186
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,322
TWITTY: (OVER TRANSMITTER)
The major crops of the Philippines
187
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:37,434
are rice, sugar cane
bananas and coconuts.
188
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:43,440
Rice, sugar cane,
bananas, and...
189
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,524
Coconuts!
190
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,608
Coconuts.
191
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,403
That's exactly right.
192
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,780
Hey, when you two
are done wasting time.
193
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,550
Beans and I got some
gravy balloons to fill.
194
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,950
Hey, Louis come here.
195
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,369
Did you know, that
our little friend here
196
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,620
is extremely bright?
197
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,872
Who? Beans?
198
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,124
The Philippines
is an archipelago
199
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,334
consisting of 7,100 islands.
200
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,670
This is amazing. He's right.
201
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,398
So what? He knows some
stuff about the Philippines.
202
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,233
- Come on, Beans. Let's go fill balloons.
- No, no...
203
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,676
Okay, Beans, do you
know anything else?
204
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,097
Yes, I do.
205
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,726
There are 26 bones
in the human foot.
206
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,521
The metatarsals,
the medial malleolus...
207
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,523
This is great.
208
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,901
The boy is a
walking encyclopedia.
209
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,070
This is exactly the
story that I need
210
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,195
that's going to put me
on the junior reporter seat.
211
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,240
The heel bone, calcaneus
212
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:38,828
the talus, the navicular,
the cuboid, the phalanges.
213
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,289
Wow, Beans, can you name
214
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,292
the five last Japanese
Sumo wrestling champions?
215
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,794
Hmm...
216
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,089
That would Aki
Bono, Takanahama...
217
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,672
I've seen enough.
218
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,841
Excellent work...
219
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,635
Junior Reporter.
220
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,304
Guys, I got it.
221
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,349
(CHEERS)
222
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,393
So... so when do
we get to meet Zippy?
223
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,645
Oh, I don't know.
224
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,940
What? Ren, you promised
us on all that was holy.
225
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,109
I know, I know, okay, fine.
226
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,484
Just come in tomorrow.
227
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,088
BOTH: We're going to see Zippy!
228
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,364
Wait! I didn't tell
you the cool part.
229
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,490
What?
230
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,327
Cynthia Mills is having me do
the Beans story on the news.
231
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,874
Oh... well, what's that mean?
232
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,419
I am going to interview
Beans live on the air.
233
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,588
And soon, everyone
is going to see
234
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,216
how smart you really
are, my little genius.
235
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,344
But I'm not
really... Photogenic.
236
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,430
Oh, yes, you are,
buddy, aren't you?
237
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,807
Yes, I am, Ren.
238
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,183
I'm very photogenic.
239
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,394
Are you going to
disappoint everyone?
240
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,980
No... no, I'm not gonna.
241
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,611
- What are we going to do?
- Dude, I don't know.
242
00:10:55,613 --> 00:11:00,034
34, 35, 36, 37... Beans, enough.
243
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,412
I can't stop till I
get to a trillion.
244
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,080
Would you just go
to sleep, Beans?
245
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,374
No way!
246
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,877
You're not supposed
to sleep at a sleepover.
247
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,082
Beansie, we got work to do.
248
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,397
Can you please be
quiet for five seconds?
249
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,821
That's all I'm
asking, five seconds.
250
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,817
- (IMITATES ENGINE REVVING)
- Now, Twitty. Listen.
251
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:15,841
We can make this work...
252
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,177
We can make this work.
253
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,136
All we have to do is pull off
254
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,638
the Brainy Beansie
routine at the TV studio.
255
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,170
- That's all. All right?
- Dude.
256
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,617
I don't know,
man... this is live TV.
257
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,161
Don't you think
this is a little risky?
258
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,896
You know, I say we
just tell Ren the truth
259
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,898
and... she'll understand.
260
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,566
- You think?
- Yeah.
261
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,986
Oh, sure. I understand.
262
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,076
All right. Here's what
we're going to do. Okay?
263
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,120
We're going to take the
laptop to the TV studio
264
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,931
and feed Beansie the
answers through his hat.
265
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,498
What's in it for me?
266
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,751
Beansie, you already
got your sleepover.
267
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,586
That was for the first time.
268
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,130
The second time
is very expensive.
269
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,882
All right, what do you want?
270
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,424
Hmm.
271
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,762
Road trip! Road trip!
Road trip! Road trip!
272
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,931
Road trip! Road trip!
Road trip! Road trip!
273
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,350
Road trip! Road trip!
Road trip! Road trip!
274
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,018
(CHANTING SPEEDING UP)
275
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,440
Hello, Mother.
276
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,776
Hi, Don... nie. Uh...
277
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,737
Sweetie, when did you
start wearing glasses?
278
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,908
To appear intelligent when
asked a difficult question
279
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,578
simply ask the same
question back, you see?
280
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,289
When did you start
wearing glasses?
281
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,038
Son, we don't wear glasses.
282
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,753
Ah. That's what I thought.
283
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,048
Well, anyway, it
was very sweet of you
284
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,549
to take the kids to the station.
285
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,760
Did you remember
to put gas in the car?
286
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,346
Try and work some big words
287
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,390
into your everyday conversation.
288
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,809
For example, "cornucopia"
289
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,019
meaning "bountiful."
290
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,354
Bountiful?
291
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,398
- "A lot of."
- Oh.
292
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,316
Well, as a matter of fact
293
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,111
I put a cornucopia
of gas in the car.
294
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,488
Good.
295
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,741
Do you know what you'd
like for dinner, Donnie?
296
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,868
How about a corn on the copia?
297
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,870
(LAUGHING)
298
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,998
Son, did you bump your
head on a dictionary?
299
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,042
Did you bump my
head on a dictionary?
300
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,211
I think he's wearing
301
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,380
his football helmet
a little too tight again.
302
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,316
I'll go check the
oxygen level in his room.
303
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,341
Yeah.
304
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,302
(SIGHS)
305
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:24,678
Aw...
306
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,348
Mommy loves you.
307
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,525
Ow!
308
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:39,753
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
309
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,588
He is not wearing that
stupid hat on television.
310
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,489
No, Ren, it's not for style.
311
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,450
He needs it, okay? It
keeps his brain warm.
312
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,120
There's our superstar.
313
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,498
Our little Bernard Aranguren.
314
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,667
Are we on TV now?
315
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,377
Uh... no.
316
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,463
Oh, no, that was just
a little genius humor.
317
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,381
(LAUGHING)
318
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,259
Do you have any bacon?
319
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,720
Um, that's just his brain food.
320
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,680
Oh. Oh, Ren.
321
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,241
I want you to take Bernard here
322
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,141
to the kitchen and get him
323
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,684
a BLT before we get started.
324
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,019
Right away. Let's go.
325
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,062
Dude, there's Zippy.
326
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,688
No, no. Twitty, stop.
327
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,650
Listen, stop. Okay,
forget about Zippy.
328
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,612
Right now we have
to find a phone jack
329
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,906
to connect to the Internet
330
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,574
and feed Beansie the answers.
331
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,120
- Right.
- Right. Good.
332
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,708
Well, uh, Cynthia.
333
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,461
You certainly have a lot
334
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,254
of interesting
equipment around here.
335
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:44,342
Actually, we have a
cornucopia of equipment.
336
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,717
Yes.
337
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,680
Cornucopia, meaning "bountiful."
338
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,557
"A lot of."
339
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,481
So, tell me, how do all
these cameras work?
340
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,151
How do you think they work?
341
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:15,748
Hey.
342
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,417
You were just
speaking to Cynthia.
343
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,668
Isn't she brilliant?
344
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,754
Uh, yeah. Hey, you know, Ren
345
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,674
Cynthia may not be
all that you think she is.
346
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,008
What? Oh.
347
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,803
Donnie, I really don't
have time for this. Um...
348
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,972
Why are you wearing glasses?
349
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:40,857
Hey, what are you doing?
350
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,567
Brushing up on some geography?
351
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,653
No, I'm mapping my
road trip out to Reno,
352
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,114
"The biggest little
city in the world."
353
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,782
Who are you going to Reno with?
354
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:50,992
Louis and Twitty.
355
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,702
It's part of my secret deal.
356
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,038
What secret deal?
357
00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,750
Wire.
358
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:01,586
Plug this in. Come on.
359
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:02,791
Which one's the phone line?
360
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,006
I don't know. Pull wires
first, ask questions later.
361
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,466
Smart as a telephone pole.
362
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,553
Found it.
363
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:12,762
Nice.
364
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,598
Are we good?
365
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,683
(CHUCKLES) Sweet.
366
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,393
Yes, we're good.
367
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,354
Beansie? Beansie,
this is Sweet Lou.
368
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,273
Are you there? Can
you hear me? Over.
369
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,585
Oh, yeah. I can
hear you all right.
370
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,027
(SCREAMING)
371
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,199
- Okay.
- Start talking while you still can.
372
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,492
Just listen, all right?
373
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,495
Now, we thought you
wouldn't get the job
374
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,722
with the boring mascot story
375
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:37,806
so we hooked you
up with Beansie.
376
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,830
- That's all.
- Yeah.
377
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,708
- Very simple.
- Beansie is a fake, Louis.
378
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,251
Right, but nobody
has to know that.
379
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,503
I mean, except for us.
380
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,256
The thing about being a
reporter is to tell the truth.
381
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,717
Now, that means I
have an obligation
382
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,886
to Cynthia Mills to tell
her what's really going on.
383
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:52,969
Agreed.
384
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,097
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
385
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,808
She wasn't as mad
as I thought she'd be.
386
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,019
And when I get back
387
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,689
I am going to put
a mean hurt on you.
388
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,066
I'm sorry.
389
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,659
Um, I need to talk
to you, Cynthia.
390
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,022
It's really
important. Uh, Ren...
391
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,829
I have something to tell you
392
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,040
and because I'm saying it, well
393
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,291
it's more important.
394
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,002
I'm taking over the Beans story.
395
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:26,294
What?
396
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,423
This is my ticket
out of Sacramento.
397
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,592
A story like this could
get me to the big time,
398
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:35,304
Cleveland, where
dreams come true.
399
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,478
Um, Cynthia. There's
something you should know.
400
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,183
Listen, kid. I've paid my dues.
401
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,561
Now, it's time for
you to pay yours.
402
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,688
So, if you'll excuse me.
403
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,274
I have a show to do.
404
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,901
Hello, Cleveland.
405
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,071
This is Cynthia
Mills with the news.
406
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,823
See ya.
407
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,910
You know, I
tried to be truthful.
408
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,954
Tried to have integrity.
409
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,208
You okay?
410
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,419
You know, you were
right about Cynthia.
411
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,380
You know, that was
very insightful of you.
412
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,841
(CHUCKLES, STUTTERS)
413
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,342
That's like smart, right?
414
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,510
Oh, very much.
415
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,345
Cool.
416
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:20,975
Good evening.
417
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,729
Socrates, Galileo, Einstein...
418
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,023
Bernard Aranguren.
419
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,358
Possibly the four greatest minds
420
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,110
to have graced this planet.
421
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,321
Is this my water cup?
422
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:34,989
Yes, it is.
423
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,827
Mmm! I like water.
424
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,456
Bernard... You
can call me Beans.
425
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,625
Beans. How charming.
426
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:47,752
Beans. So apparently
427
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:52,298
you are an expert on a
cornucopia of subjects.
428
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:58,012
Well, I don't know about
corn, but I especially like bacon.
429
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,513
(LAUGHING)
430
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,350
Brilliant and witty.
431
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,144
So, why don't we
show our viewers
432
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,730
some of your amazing gifts?
433
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,481
Bernard,
434
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:15,863
what is the square
root of 10,402?
435
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,449
This many?
436
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:19,950
(LAUGHING)
437
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,036
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)
438
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,704
Come on, my little genius.
439
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,706
Work with me here.
440
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,541
Question Number Two.
441
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:32,129
Name the capital of Tasmania.
442
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,341
Okay. How about George?
443
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,759
That's my uncle's name.
444
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,305
Really, Bernard.
Let's get serious now.
445
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,393
Can you try and concentrate?
446
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,852
Ow!
447
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,270
You're hurting my arm.
448
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,105
Just kidding.
449
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,985
Can you say anything smart?
450
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,696
Not without my hat.
451
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:01,075
Your hat. Who cares
about your stupid hat?!
452
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,035
You're ruining my career!
453
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,704
I'm going on a road trip!
454
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:11,711
Road trip! Road trip!
Road trip! Road trip!
455
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,797
Man, old Beansie sure
did a number on her.
456
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,133
Yeah. Yeah, but she deserved it.
457
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,926
I mean, what I did was wrong
458
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,333
but stealing my sister's story?
459
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,055
Now, that is
really, really wrong.
460
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,591
You're still on my pain list.
461
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:27,059
BEANS: Road trip!
You can't catch me!
462
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,854
I'll make bacon out of
you, you little monster!
463
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,134
Isn't this the funnest day ever?
464
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,402
Yeah, I know I've never seen
465
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,528
an anchorwoman get fired.
466
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,572
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
467
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,031
Look, Zippy Winds.
468
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,411
Mr. Winds!
469
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,955
We're, like, your
biggest fans ever.
470
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:49,957
Oh, my...
471
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:02,887
Isn't he the greatest?
472
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,305
Yeah!
473
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:05,889
Man!
474
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,558
So cool.
475
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,730
100 pounds of clay.
476
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,565
The common fruit fly.
477
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,275
The Galapagos Islands.
478
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,903
The 1912 Boston Red Sox.
479
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,197
The internal combustion engine.
480
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,280
Mesozoic.
481
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,743
A squared plus B
squared equals C squared.
482
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,495
Isosceles triangle.
483
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,121
Synchronized swimming.
484
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,539
Bacon?
485
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,291
Bacon!
486
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:06,242
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
487
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:27,888
(THEME MUSIC ENDS)