(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM RINGING)
Hi, honey.
Mom.
Okay, what smile should I use
for my class picture tomorrow?
Should I do, you know
the whole bored- fashion-model look?
Or should I, you know, do the Mona Lisa?
Honey, I know that you are very self-conscious
about your braces.
Well, sure. I don't want people to remember me
as the girl with the fence across her teeth.
Well, I spoke to Dr. Paz this morning.
He said you didn't have to wait until next week
to get your braces off.
That he could squeeze you in tomorrow before school.
Mom! That is so...
- I know you must be. - I am.
Oh, I knew you would be.
Hi, there.
Listen, I hate
to interrupt what's clearly a beautiful mother-daughter
moment here, but, um...
there's a small little problem in my bedroom.
It's very scary.
Louis! How many times have I told you
not to leave leftover sushi under your bed?
Look, I'm sorry. There's so many rules in this house
it's hard to keep them all straight.
Copy that. I'll kill the alarm.
Guys, watch my bed frame.
What's going on?
There's spacemen all over the place.
They're not spacemen.
Louis just left a platter of raw fish
under his bed for two weeks.
So, then, that created an environmental disaster
and Mom had to call the hazardous waste removal team.
Louis, it is going to take two weeks to kill
whatever is growing in that room.
Mom, where am I going to sleep for two weeks?
Well, you should have thought of that
before you turned your room into a teeming bacterial pit.
Oh!
Hey, look, you can bunk with me, bro.
- Yeah? Really? - Yeah.
You're sure you want to live with Polluto Lad?
Well, you know, we haven't been spending
much time together.
I figure this will be fun for us, huh?
Except my room is a strictly no-sushi zone. Okay?
Right. Oh, yeah, not a problem. I'll just get my PJs.
I'm going in.
Got 'em.
Good. Let's go.
Ah... Sorry I was late.
Two of my patients have a little romance going
and their braces locked.
(LAUGHING MERRILY)
Oh, that always tickles me.
Ah... extremely painful for them, though.
(CLEARING THROAT)
So, how's your brother Louis doing?
It must be fun living with him.
(MUMBLING)
Yes, he's a delightful young man.
(MUMBLING)
After three long, sometimes painful years
I imagine you're anxious to see
how your teeth came out, huh?
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Of course. Who wouldn't be?
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
You've got a slight infection there.
Uh-huh? Uh-huh-huh?
Oh, it's nothing to worry about.
I'm just going to have to keep the braces on
for another three years.
Huh?
Ah, it's just a little orthodontic humor.
Okay, now, brace yourself.
(LAUGHING)
There I go again.
Okay.
I'm just going to dab on
some medication there.
Okay. Let me get over there.
Ah... And... voila!
(HAPPY SHRIEK)
You smooth little angels.
I could just stare at these all day.
Yes, except you'll be taking up
some expensive chair time
and you need to be back at school
for your class picture.
Oh, school. I'm late.
Oh, Ren, don't forget to watch out
for some mild side effects from the medication.
Right. Whatever.
(GIGGLES)
Don't worry. You will smile again.
Oh... Here's my next victim.
MAN: Zellpepper.
Yeah, that... that's me.
Okay.
Look at Mr. Happy Bunny and say "Crappizi."
- Crappizi? - (SHUTTER CLICKS)
Mr. Zellpepper,
you're my last masterpiece.
I... I think my face was kind of distorted.
Oh, relax, kid. They'll touch it up at the lab.
You'll look just like Regis Philbin.
But I don't want to look like Regis Philbin.
He's a very attractive man.
Oh, thank goodness you're still here.
I'm Ren Stevens.
Park it.
I'm really sorry I'm late. My orthodontist...
Spare me the sob story, will you?
It's kind of funny.
I'm never really late.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Look at Mr. Happy Bunny and say "Crappizi."
- Crappizi! - (SHUTTER CLICKS)
Okay.
That's it. You're done.
Did I look okay? Eyes open?
No blinks?
Oh, no. You looked perfect, kid.
You're going to want an eight-by-ten
to hang on the wall and 100 little wallets
for Grandma to hand out at the home.
(GASPS)
Thank you so much.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Bye-bye, Mr. Happy Bunny.
Wow. Look at her.
Hello.
Wow!
Oh, hi.
Oh, hey, Louis.
Notice anything different?
No braces... Oh, no braces, right. Sorry...
I was distracted by your cheeks.
Why were you distracted by my cheeks?
It looks like you're smuggling
meatballs from the cafeteria.
Here, look.
Oh, my... I look like a... Blowfish.
Good, Louis!
Hey, is that going to go away?
No. Yes.
The medication that the guy gave me...
Okay, I just took my class picture looking like this.
What am I going to do?
You know what you do? You go to the guy and you schedule a reshoot.
A reshoot. Thank you, you genius.
Thank you.
Oh... Mr. Crappizi?
You said that my picture was perfect.
Yeah? So.
Didn't you notice my cheeks?
How could I miss those babies?
I thought they always looked
freakishly huge.
I didn't want to insult you.
Ah. How very sweet of you.
I demand a reshoot.
Huh! Forget it, kid.
- It's against company policy. - What?
"No reshoots."
Oh, no. Sir, please.
Oh... please.
(SIGHS)
I'll tell you what, kid.
If your principal will spring for the dough,
- I'll give you a... - Reshoot.
- Sh! - (GASPS)
This is great.
I am Principal Wexler's favorite student.
This will definitely not be a problem.
Ren, this is definitely a problem.
I can't authorize any reshoots.
But my... my orthodontist, he gave me some medicine
and it made my cheeks swollen.
They look fine to me.
Ren, I can't tell you
how many requests I've had for reshoots.
If I give one to you, I have to give one to everybody.
Okay, so the swelling went down
but, Mr. Wexler... it's me.
I fed your cat when you went to Club Med...?
Ren, I can't believe
a talented, accomplished student like yourself
is so concerned about a silly picture.
It's my eighth-grade yearbook picture
and instead of happy memories,
every time I look at it, I'm going to remember
what a miserable day I had.
I'm sorry, Ren.
- But I... - Case closed.
Hi, honey, I'm home.
You're late.
Oh. Was Mom worried?
No. She just figured that you got in some trouble
and Wexler gave you paper pickup again.
You know what's ridiculous?
You make one rude sound during the Pledge of Allegiance
it's like a whole federal case.
Look, yearbook photos are here.
Where are they?
(SCREAMS)
(DERISIVE LAUGH)
What is going on here?
(SHRIEKS)
Oh. Uh, honey...
it's not so bad.
(YELLS)
Louis. Don't rub it in.
Oh, it's my picture.
It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen in my life.
Oh, now, Louis, you look very handsome in this picture.
I made the best shaved-dog-butt face
and this hack totally missed it.
Shaved-dog-butt face?
You're comparing your
shaved-dog-butt face to my situation?
No. Yours is much worse, you see.
Yours will be plastered all over the yearbook
whereas mine will only be in once.
What are you talking about?
Well, don't they put your picture in
for every activity?
I mean, school policy monitor
editor of the paper, that lost-and-found thing...
And you're probably going to be valedictorian.
- There you go. - Okay, enough.
I can't believe
this is how people are going to remember me.
That's what you get for being a high-achiever.
Oh, honey.
You know, it's not even about the picture.
It's... it's an injustice.
Well, there is an alternative.
What? Transfer schools?
Let me show you something.
You know, Ren, when I was in college
we petitioned the administration
to offer some courses in women's studies.
They wouldn't even listen to us.
It was so unjust.
We organized a protest.
Hey, Mom, that's you.
"Girls Whine For Rights."
That's totally chauvinistic.
Well, that's what we were fighting against
and I even wrote a protest song.
Hmm.
Okay, I'm going to see if I can remember it.
Hey, Mr. Man-Male You're not our master.
Sisters stand strong Sisters stand strong.
You may think fast But we think faster.
Sisters stand strong Sisters stand strong.
Come on, Ren, sing with me.
Sisters stand strong Sisters stand strong.
Don't let them push you around at school.
You fight for what you believe in.
Sisters stand strong.
- Yeah. - Sisters stand strong.
Come on.
Oh! Aah! Scores off the rebound!
Ohh... Bring it back. Bring it back!
That's right.
All right, all right.
- Hey, good game. - Yeah, it's a good game
except for the little victory dance.
You know, I think stinky-sock basketball
needs to be in the next Olympics.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Hey, Louis, where did you get
the hardware for this rim?
Off of your bed.
What?
No, I did a little structural test, though.
I mean, it's sound. It's good.
See?
Yeah.
Hey, you know, it's been pretty fun having you as a roomie.
Yeah, it has been fun.
Except for the fact that all my stuff is in the attic.
Well, you know, if you want
to bring in a couple of things, Louis, that's okay.
- You sure about that? - Yeah.
Mi casa es su casa.
I'm going to use the can.
All right.
Oh! Aah!
Louis!
What'd you do to my room?
Donnie, if you weren't the best big brother in the world
then I demand a recount.
I love you, man.
(GROWLS)
Ah! I love you, too, you little whackball, you!
Too much love.
What?
- Too much love. - Ah!
That's right, people, keep it moving.
See... this could happen to you.
What in the Sam Hill is going on here?
Mr. Wexler!
We're exercising our constitutional right to protest.
About what?
We stopped serving porkadillas in the cafeteria weeks ago.
It's not about the food, Mr. Wexler.
We want the chance to take reshoots for the yearbook.
We are... The Blinkers.
- CROWD: Yeah! - What do we want?
- CROWD: Reshoots! - When do we want them?
As soon as it's feasible
but sometime within the next six weeks.
We're trying to get a snappier chant.
Ren, are you still whining about those yearbook pictures?
"Whining"?
Ha-ha!
You still don't get it, do you, Mr. Man-Male?
- You are not our master. - What?
Okay, the point is
the photographer... he just wanted to get the money
and get out of here as soon as possible.
Ren, this protest is embarrassing
to the school and to me personally.
It will stop now.
Okay, Mr. Wexler, whatever you say.
Good.
Just as long as you authorize those reshoots.
Let me be clear:
No reshoots. Not now...
not when it's feasible... not ever.
That's fine, then.
We'll just be out here every day
before and after school.
Ren, if I ever see that group again
you won't have to worry about a yearbook picture
because you will be expelled.
So what are we going to do?
I mean, uh, are we giving up?
I don't know.
(SIGHS)
(THUNDER CRASHING)
There's one big storm brewing out there.
Louis!
Hey, bro.
What's going on?
Oh, I felt bad about messing up your bed
so I strung up a couple of hammocks for us.
- Great. Hammocks? - Yeah.
You know, in certain civilizations,
the hammock is the ultimate luxury.
Who cares?! Get out!
I get the top.
I'm so bushed, I could sleep anywhere right now.
You know, Louis, the way I figure it,
you're only living here one more week
so all I have to do is suck it up...
and relax.
- Hey, Donnie. - Yeah, Louis?
- Hey, I have another surprise for you. - What?
Well, uh, I know how you always wanted a skylight in here, so...
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
(THUNDER CRASHING)
Remodeling tip: never seal up a skylight
with elastic from your underwear.
- Louis? - Yeah?
Get out of here!
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(SCOFFS) Power's out.
Never let Donnie win at stinky- sock basketball ever again.
Hey!
- Lou! - Donnie!
Why are you whacking me with the pillow?
I was practicing my swing.
The power's out.
What?!
The power is out.
You think?
(CHUCKLES)
Look... I just came down to say I'm sorry for yelling at you
and threatening to break you in half.
You didn't threaten to break me in half.
Oh. I guess I just thought about doing it.
- Yeah. - Hey,
what do you say, man, still roomies?
Yeah. Yeah, still roomies.
Cool. Except for the fact
that my room's kind of underwater right now.
- That's no problem... we'll bunk here. - Cool.
- Good? - Yeah.
- I got this side. - I got this side.
Nice.
Scoot over.
Hey, you have the remote control for the television?
The power is out.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
(BOTH SCREAM)
Mom and Dad's room?
I'm right behind you!
You want reshoots?
Ren, Ren, Wexler's coming. What do we do?
Why is this my decision?
Because you have the most to lose.
Right, the whole "expelling" thing.
(SIGHS)
Look, right is right.
Let's go. It's on!
Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!
ALL: Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!
That's right, people, loud and proud.
Sing until the cows come home.
Ren, I warned you.
I'm sorry, sir, but sometimes you just
need to stick to your principles.
Do not talk to a principal about principles.
My office, after school, today!
STUDENTS: Give a hoot!
Let's reshoot! Give a hoot!
Wow, Ren,
you actually stood up to Wexler. That was so great.
Thanks, Ryan.
I'm really going to miss you.
STUDENTS: Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!
Give a hoot! Let's reshoot!
Hi. Uh, you are not going to believe this.
What, you got paper pickup again?
- Alert the media. - No. It's what I found
when I was picking up the papers that might interest you.
Louis, my whole academic career
is about to go up in smoke, okay?
What could you possibly...
Holy Moly.
Oh... Louis...
- I love you. - And there's more...
That's too much love! That's too much love!
Ren.
Hi, Mr. Wexler.
Holy Bundt cakes! Where did you get these?
Oh, well,
I was just wondering which one of these pictures
you would like in the yearbook.
Ren, you don't understand.
The principal's photo has to have
a certain amount of dignity.
Oh, and exactly how many reshoots did you do
until you found one "dignified" enough?
- (PRINCIPAL WEXLER COUGHS) - Excuse me?
- Seventeen. - Hm.
You may not know this about me
but, uh, I have some vanity issues.
That is no excuse for being unjust.
That photographer was an incompetent, bumbling jerk
who should have never been hired.
I know, but he came cheap.
And giving everyone reshoots
would just be admitting to the school board
that I made a horrible mistake.
(PAPER SHREDDER GRINDING) But you're right.
I'm the principal...
I need to set a good example.
It's like they say at Club Med...
"If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the hot tub."
So I'm not expelled?
Of course not.
Truth be told, I admire your pluck.
Well, it's nice to have my pluck admired.
And I'll arrange for you to have that reshoot.
Oh, as well as everyone else's, too.
Ren.
Principal Wexler.
We won.
(CHEERING)
ALL: Reshoot! Reshoot! Reshoot!
Reshoot!
This is the part where you scatter.
Now!
God!
Stevens!
One, two...
Uh...
Did I look like a shaved-dog-butt face?
Uh, pretty much.
Well, there you go. Perfect.
Uh... Ren Stevens.
That's me.
Ready?
One...
two...