(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)
(SLURPING)
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)
(EXPLOSION)
So, Ren, I found out why
Anita Snyder broke up with Jordan Bath.
She was thinking ahead, as always. You know how she loves to project.
She realized that if they got married
she'd have to go through life as Anita Bath.
(BEEPING)
(GASPS) Hold that thought.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
Aww.
What a great way to start my day.
Ren, did you even hear me? This is my "A" material.
Uh-huh.
This crush you have on Bobby Deaver...
- it's just not healthy. - Technically...
it's not a crush.
My appetite's fine, I'm sleeping like a baby
and it's not disrupting my schoolwork.
Oh, look, Bobby's combing his hair.
This is huge.
Gotcha.
Okay, I'm crushing bad.
Okay, this is good. Admitting is the first step.
Now, what are you going to do about it?
For your information, Miss Thing
I'm making my move today.
When? Where?
Details! I need details!
Ruby, just breathe.
I'm planning on meeting him alone without any distractions.
Ren, please, I'm dying. How are you going to do it?
I stole his jacket.
Hey, Lou, it is going to be totally sick.
Party starts at 8:00.
We can just, you know, kick it till whenever.
Yeah, well, uh, Zach
that sounds like a big, stinky pile of fun...
(CLEARS THROAT)
But, uh, there's this documentary
on the history of coleslaw that I can't miss.
Well...
Whatever.
Zach, what's up, bro?
Dude, I can't wait till your party tomorrow night.
Wait, you're going?
Yeah. Last year was insane.
This year's going to be better.
My mom is picking up some major snackage.
- All right. - Hey, Tawny,
you ever try a jalapeño puff?
No, but I can't wait.
Oh, you are in for a treat.
Too bad you can't make it, dude.
Wait, today's the fifth, right?
Yeah, so that whole coleslaw documentary
is next week on the tenth... I can make it.
(BELL RINGING)
Oh, right on.
We're going to have a DJ and everything
so prepare to get your groove on. I'm out.
Yeah, me, too. I got to go.
Louis, you know, I don't think I've ever seen you dance.
Really?
Hm.
Love him or hate him, man that guy throws one raging party.
It's like a whole nonstop dance jam.
Hm. So, wait. Nonstop... I have to dance, then, right?
- You don't have to. - Okay.
Yeah, you could just spend the whole night
leaning against the loser wall.
Mmm. Bobby Deaver's jacket even smells cute.
So... when did you steal it?
I didn't steal it... I borrowed it.
Besides, it was extremely careless of him to just leave it
on the back of his chair unattended.
Since I am in charge of the Lost and Found,
I knew he'd have to get it back from little old me.
Again, I'm dying.
Good luck.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Okay... why don't you... Ah, 'kay.
Here, try this.
I found it in the cafeteria on the fourth.
It's a little loose.
Well, you know what? You'll grow into it.
So, bye-bye. There's the door. See you later. Don't be a stranger.
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
Okay.
Bobby Deaver, please come to the Lost and Found.
Bobby Deaver... isn't that the kid you got the hots for?
Louis, what are you doing here?
Well, Miss Mason called me
"a detriment to the learning process,"
so I thanked her
and for some reason she sent me to the office.
Louis... Ren, relax, it's decaf.
Hey, Ren, I think I should ask you...
to introduce me to this Deaver kid.
I think there's a few things he needs to know about.
Like what?
That, um, you get carsick
and that sometimes you get corn in your braces
which is really disgusting
and, uh, that you still sleep with a stuffed animal.
Well, you just leave Mr. Pookie out of this.
Sorry, Ren, I don't think I can do that.
Bobby Deaver, do not come to the office.
(FUNKY GUITAR PLAYING)
One place you'll never find me is against the loser wall, man.
I'm thinking of throwing in some arm movements here and there.
I'm thinking you're thinking too much.
You know... Let me see the arms. ♪♪♪
Some of that. Huh?
Are you even listening to the music?
Yeah. Six, seven, eight!
(MUSIC STOPS)
- Hey! What's up, man?! - Lou...
as a friend and, uh... as a concerned citizen.
I can't let you do that in public.
You're going to hurt somebody.
But tomorrow night's a big night. You know that, right?
I'm going to be cutting a rug, you know?
I'm going to be getting groovy, putting my big boy pants on.
Bam.
Not everybody dances, man.
Look, tomorrow night at Zach's party it's the real deal, you know?
It's not some... some bar mitzvah.
It's not some kid's birthday party, you know?
This is a party for no good reason and I will be dancing.
And plus, you don't want Tawny and Zach dancing together.
No, that wouldn't be too comfy, Twitty.
So, you got one day to learn to dance.
Yeah.
One day.
Dancing is about confidence
and after just two hours with me
you will acquire the confidence
to walk on any dance floor with that look in your eye that says
"I'm here to boogie."
You'll learn the tango.
You'll learn the rumba.
You'll learn my favorite, the cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.
Cha, cha, cha-cha-cha.
All right, everybody, partner up. Here we go.
Wait. Um, excuse me.
Um, your ad said we'd learn the latest dances.
Well, that's right.
When I opened this place in '57 these were the latest dances.
It's rumba time.
Uh, you know, the math doesn't quite add up, so...
I'm just going to get my refund and boogie on home, okay?
Don't worry, boychick. I'm making you my special project.
(REN SCREAMING)
No, this is great
because I missed my chance with Bobby yesterday.
I know, you're dying.
(GIGGLING) All right. I'll see you tonight.
Yes!
Guess what?
Ruby and I are going to Zach's party
and Robert aka "call-me-Bobby" Deaver is going to be there
and I can't think of a better way to say.
"Hi. Glad to meet you."
All right, what am I going to do with my hair?
Zach Estrada's party?
Yeah. I know we said we'd go to a movie
but, I mean, this is beyond. It's just...
Oh, no, this is great.
This is perfect, because I promised to drive Louis there at 7:30, so...
What did you say?
Louis is going to Zach's party.
Aw... This is...
this is just great. (FRUSTRATED GROAN)
Ren, you and Louis are just a year apart.
You go to the same school.
You are going to have to accept the fact that you are going
to be in social situations together.
But not this one. Any one but this one.
Oh, honey, it's just a party. How bad can it be?
Okay, Bobby, up next
in the Ren Stevens Festival of Humiliation.
(LAUGHS)
I took this one by myself. It's called "Ren Eats a Bad Clam."
See how she just lights up the screen?
Aw...
Why is this happening to me?
What... what do you mean?
What? For your information
the Rumba is a dance that never goes out of style, bro.
Oh, yeah?
Tw... Twitty?
Alan?
Alan had to go bye-bye.
Can... can I
have a little privacy, please? Just a little bit?
This isn't a social call.
It appears that both of us'll be going to Zach Estrada's party.
How did you swing an invite?
It's très exclusive.
None of your beeswax.
We'll both be there,
so I took the time to make up this agreement.
- Agreement, huh? - Mm-hmm.
"Anti-embarrassment pact"?
Ren, I don't have time for this stuff.
I have problems of my own.
People still do the rumba, right?
Yeah. Whatever.
Read it.
It's to ensure that both of us
will have a pleasant and humiliation-free evening.
It's pretty standard.
You know, two-room buffer
and I'm definitely going to have to sign off on your wardrobe.
And there's a no-talking provision.
What does that mean?
You are not to talk to me.
Ren, you can't just walk in my room
and force me to sign some lame document.
What's the deal? Is "Booby" Deaver going to be there?
Now you're in violation of Article 7B, which means
- you're not supposed to mention... - I don't care. I'm not signing this.
- Oh... really? - Yeah.
Louis...
who is the hardest working
brightest, most signal-minded person on this Earth?
You. So?
Now, imagine, if I devoted all my time and energy
not to schoolwork or the betterment of society
but to making your life as miserable, pathetic
and inconsequential as I possibly could,
which I'll do if you don't sign this.
- Borrow your pen? - Of course.
Press hard, 'cause the top copy's yours.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
TWITTY: Hey, man.
Glad you didn't wuss out. What's the game plan?
The game plan is, I'm kind of hoping for somebody who'll want to rumba.
Mmm, a rumba.
Let me know. I'm waiting.
Oh.
Hey, Lou, you know,
I was just teasing you about your dancing.
You know, you should go out there
- and have some fun, man. - Yeah.
I... I got to go.
Louis, are you okay?
Yeah, Monique, I'm fine.
Are you sure? You don't look so good. Maybe you should go lie down.
No, I'm fine.
(RAPID KNOCKING ON DOOR)
I wasn't done with the secret knock yet.
- It could have been anyone. - What is he doing?
It's perfect... Bobby's down the hall.
He just finished talking to Marty Tuttle
about his brother's four-by
and now he's moving into the kitchen to get a pretzel.
Your hair looks great.
Really? Really? It's not too much?
Oh, nonsense. It's perfect.
I'm proud of you.
All right, I'm going in.
Ow.
Ow... ooh...
Hi. Hi.
Listen, Ren, I know under Article Four
I'm not supposed to talk to you tonight
but I thought you should know
you have a tree growing out of your head.
- Go! - It's scary.
(GROANS)
Louis.
Zach was right, these jalapeño puffs are great.
Yeah.
(SIGHS) So, where you been?
Um, working the rooms a little.
Everywhere.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, I love this song.
Yeah, it's a catchy... melody, yeah.
You know, I heard the drummer died in a tragic shaving accident.
You're right about these things. These put cashews to shame.
So, Louis, do you feel like dancing with me?
I haven't really, um...
loosened up yet.
I stretch, you know.
I don't want to pull anything.
(GROANS) You know?
Hey, Tawny, care to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Have fun.
Did you guys try the...
(NEON BUZZING)
Have a nice night.
Maybe we're just not meant to be and maybe I'm jinxed.
Look, Ren, we're still in the game.
Bobby didn't even see you.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
- Ow. - Sorry.
This would be a lot easier
if I had a little pair of scissors or something.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Today, please.
Sorry, Monique. Ocupado.
Here's a tweezers. Woop!
Are you okay?
I am jinxed.
Ren, stop it. You're not jinxed.
Oh, yeah, I am.
No. I told you we're going to get you cleaned up
and you're going to march back out there
- and give it another shot. - No, we're not.
Yes, you are.
- No, we're not. - Yes, you are.
- No, we're not! - Why not?!
My foot is stuck in the toilet!
Yeah, Tawny and Zach look pretty good together.
Puffs?
No.
I'm out of here.
Uh, so you're saying
that if you flush the toilet the water's just going to...
blow my foot out?
I'm saying it's like giving your foot the Heimlich.
(GROANS)
Trust me.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(EXASPERATED GROAN)
Monique, look, there's a bathroom downstairs.
We're having some plumbing issues in here.
We're having plumbing issues out here, too.
Louis!
(LAUGHING) Your foot.
LOUIS: I thought I was having a lousy night.
RUBY: Louis, please, we need your help.
My help.
Well, there must be something
in here somewhere about help, right, Ren?
Louis, stop it.
I was wrong.
I know I was crazy this week.
But it's really hard to like someone and not have them know how you feel.
I know that you can't relate to this now
but someday you will.
Yeah, well, you'd be surprised.
Listen, Ren, I know it's not in the contract
but I'm going to get you out of here.
Ruby, you put this shampoo on her foot, okay?
Let it soak for three minutes
and then you pull her foot out and it will slide out like butter.
I'm pretty sure.
But she can't just waltz through the party like this.
She looks like a soggy rodent.
Which, fortunately, is in this year.
I'll... I'll create a diversion.
A diversion?
Um... all you have to worry about is, uh...
getting out of here without Mr. Wonderful seeing you.
(RUMBA MUSIC PLAYING)
Dude, that's my mom.
Okay, on three.
One, two, three!
Oh! My shoe.
(GRUNTS)
It's not coming out.
- Come on, we don't have time. - But my shoe! I...
I should call my dad.
(APPLAUSE)
Whoo!
Hey, Ren!
I'm Bobby.
Hi, I'm Stevens.
This was in the bathroom. I thought it might be yours.
Oh, well... you... (LAUGHS)
Uh...
Well, let me help you there.
Perfect fit.
(GIGGLING)
You know, I've wanted to say hi to you for the longest time.
Really?
So, hi.
Hi.
So, I guess I better get back to the party.
Yeah.
- So, bye. - Bye.
Ooh... (SQUEALING)
BOBBY: Oh, Ren...
I know you're in charge of that Lost and Found thing.
Mm-hmm.
I'm missing a red jacket, so if you see it...
I'll let you know.
Bye.
- (DOOR OPENS) - (REN SIGHS)
Honey, what happened? You're all wet.
Oh, well, I got my foot stuck in a toilet
and it exploded in my face.
Oh, that must have been awful.
It's the best night of my life.
Oh, good.
Sounds like fun.
Where's Louis?
Oh, I guess he's still at the party.
(RUMBA MUSIC PLAYING)
Dad, you really might want to cut your business trip short.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)