1
00:00:00,292 --> 00:00:01,460
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,253
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

3
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,723
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,746
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

5
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,331
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,379
Before we start our lesson

7
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,633
let's first take our
daily cleansing breaths.

8
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,136
In with the good... (INHALES)

9
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,764
And... (EXHALES)

10
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,267
Out with the bad...

11
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,895
In with the good...
(STUDENTS INHALING)

12
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,897
Out with the bad.

13
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,192
You're late, Louis.

14
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,486
Did I miss that whole
breathing exercise?

15
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,530
I think I caught some
air on the way in.

16
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,990
Just sit down, man.

17
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,115
All right.

18
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,576
Groovy.

19
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,161
Check this out.

20
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,955
TEACHER: All right, Louis.

21
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,583
I can see that you're
wound up about something.

22
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,294
Why don't you share
with the rest of the class.

23
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,837
Thanks, Todd. I will.

24
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,340
Now, I just want you all
to be the first to know...

25
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,218
I, Louis Stevens will
be entering my film

26
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,346
in the Sacramento Young
People's Film Festival.

27
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,141
And after I win first
place in the festival,

28
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,726
and get my
million-dollar movie deal,

29
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,061
I will, sadly, be
moving to Beverly Hills

30
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,396
to a sprawling ranch house.

31
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,440
Okay, that's cool.
You've shared enough.

32
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,192
I'm going to need a limo driver

33
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,403
- a gardener...
- Louis...

34
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,655
a personal chef.

35
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,532
Louis, sit your heinie down.

36
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:56,742
Now.

37
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,746
Production meeting,
my room, 3:00, okay?

38
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,374
In with the good...

39
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:12,799
Madame Editor, your goddess of
gossip reporting with this week's column.

40
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,886
Okay, Ruby, how
many times did I tell you

41
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,346
that it's not gossip;

42
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,265
it's just, you know the
filtering of news and information

43
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,352
vital to the social and
psychological well-being

44
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,853
of our entire student body.

45
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,189
Now dish me the dirt.

46
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,036
Check out the Breakups
and Make-ups column.

47
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,233
Heavy turnover.

48
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,400
Oh!

49
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,904
Joel Rosen and Mary
Matthews are over again?

50
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,155
Third time this month.

51
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,990
That's bad. That's just bad...

52
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,992
Baseball team... 6:00.

53
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,036
Inseparable as always.

54
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,497
Oh, there's Bobby Deaver... oh.

55
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,875
(DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS)

56
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,919
Oh... he is... so cute,

57
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,214
I mean... just
look at his hair...

58
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,466
it's like... It's perfect.

59
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,302
Mmm! He is so fine.

60
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,597
You are so crushing on him.

61
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,849
You're right. I'm
crushing major.

62
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,352
But that doesn't mean you
have to tell anybody, all right?

63
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,521
(SIGHING) Look at his walk.

64
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,147
He's so cool.

65
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,941
(BOTH GIRLS LAUGHING)

66
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,484
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Hey, Ren.

67
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,195
- (LOW-PITCHED VOICE) Uh, hey, Ren.
- Hi, Alvin.

68
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,613
It's Ivan.

69
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,616
(SIGHING)

70
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,536
So, what are you going to
do about you and Bobby?

71
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,164
I don't know... 'cause... I
haven't even spoken to him.

72
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,916
Well, what are you waiting for?

73
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,126
You're right.

74
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,795
You know what? You are right.
I'm going to talk to him today.

75
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:32,963
Oh, I'm dying.

76
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,408
What are you
going to say to him?

77
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,175
- Oh, gosh. I don't know.
- Ren, you don't just walk up

78
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,142
to a guy you're crushing
on and start talking.

79
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,679
I mean, what if
nothing comes out?

80
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:41,888
The first impression

81
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,015
is the most crucial point
in your relationship...

82
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,101
Oh, wait, wait,
honey. Relationship?

83
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,519
We are not at that point yet.

84
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,021
I knew this girl, Vicky, who
had a crush on this guy, Matt.

85
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,958
So, Vicky finds out Matt
is crushing on her, too.

86
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,901
But when Matt goes to talk to her
she had ink smeared on her face

87
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,025
'cause she's a pen-biter...
she's nervous like that.

88
00:03:57,112 --> 00:04:00,112
From that day on, Matt could only
think of Vicky as the girl with blue lips.

89
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,534
Well... I don't bite my pens.

90
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,703
I'm just saying that
when you talk to Bobby,

91
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,580
everything has to be perfect.

92
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,947
You should write down
everything you want to say to him.

93
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,461
That way, you have total
control over your destiny.

94
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,672
Total control. I like that.

95
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,886
But you absolutely
have to let me read it first.

96
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,092
Do you totally promise?

97
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,178
- Oh, I totally do.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

98
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,014
LOUIS: Friends, we
are about to embark

99
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,807
on the magical
journey of moviemaking.

100
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,684
Uh, Louis, there's
the volume, it's...

101
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,770
Right. Oh, um...

102
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,939
Do you realize what
being in this movie means?

103
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,066
LOUIS: You'll
walk in as nobodies

104
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,735
but you'll walk out as stars.

105
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,297
- (PANTING) We're going to be stars?
- Yeah, everyone except you, Tom.

106
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,322
Oh.

107
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,783
- You're going to be my assistant.
- Awesome.

108
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,135
Louis, I haven't
seen you this excited

109
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,928
since you learned to
shoot milk out your nose.

110
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,913
That was big,
but this is bigger.

111
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,805
Louis, I think I may
have found my thing.

112
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,249
Your thing?

113
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,293
Everybody's got their
thing: Twitty has his music,

114
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,461
you have your poetry,

115
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,172
Tom's got... his parents.

116
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,008
But we only have a week
to shoot this, you know?

117
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,636
- To make the deadline.
- Okay, so what's your movie about?

118
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,554
Um, it's the...

119
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,306
classic love story

120
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,060
about... an alien...
that's you, Tawny...

121
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,627
and a cowboy...
that's you, Twitty.

122
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,188
Could the cowboy have sideburns?

123
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,900
Uh, I don't see what's
wrong with sideburns, yeah.

124
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,961
- LOUIS: We're collaborating, see?
- Yeah? All right.

125
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,237
I'll see you on set, okay?

126
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,404
TAWNY: Wait, wait, Louis.

127
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,740
So, does the cowboy go to
outer space with the aliens?

128
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,534
Or does the alien
work on the cattle ranch

129
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,928
with the handsome
side-burned cowboy?

130
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,162
Guys, please... please, okay?

131
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,248
It'll all make sense
when we're filming, okay?

132
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,335
I see stars.

133
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,632
Why do only two of
my eyes need glasses?

134
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,925
Tom?

135
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,969
Do we have any
three-eyed glasses?

136
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,554
TOM: Negatory.

137
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,807
A superior life form like yourself
doesn't need glasses, okay?

138
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,310
Twitty, can I talk to you?

139
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,397
Tom, can you take
these? Thank you.

140
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,608
I have to talk to you about
the scene where you meet the...

141
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,363
You have something
growing on your face.

142
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,990
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Oh, these things?

143
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,195
These are my muttonchops,
old chap. Do you like them?

144
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,785
You look like the Wolfman.

145
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,538
All right, I do, cheerio, okay.

146
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,435
Wait. What's with
the English accent?

147
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,584
Oh, I thought the cowboy
should be from England...

148
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,627
- No...
- You know, Western... England.

149
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,992
Okay, that's not in the script.

150
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,589
What script?

151
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,424
You guys...

152
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,843
Tom, Tom, did you
give them the scripts?

153
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,429
Tom, give the actors
their scripts, please.

154
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,966
Look at them for a second,
then I want to shoot, okay?

155
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,926
- This is only one page.
- Yeah, where's the rest of it?

156
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,563
We're only shooting
scene 27 today.

157
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,806
You see, we shoot out of
order. It's called filmmaking.

158
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,776
All right then, Governor...
shall we have a go at it?

159
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,703
I'm thinking that's a
good idea. Let's do it.

160
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,781
You know, I'm a master
of accents myself.

161
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,510
Did I ever mention it's
always been my dream

162
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,702
to be in front of the camera?

163
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,638
Yeah, that's great, Tom.
Can you get me some water?

164
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,248
(FRENCH ACCENT) Oui,
monsieur, right away! Hon-hon-ha!

165
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,732
LOUIS: Okay, let's
shoot this baby.

166
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,793
Okay? Yes?

167
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,130
W-Whoa... shouldn't we, like,
rehearse this first or something?

168
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,381
Let's just shoot it, okay?

169
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,925
All that script said was...

170
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,427
"The spaceship lands
and the alien looks around."

171
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,596
That's right... you're
confused and frustrated.

172
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,306
Did you read it? Okay.

173
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,849
Now let's go... and action!

174
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,476
This is ridiculous.

175
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:15,936
I don't know where I am.

176
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,938
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Cut!

177
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,731
Genius! That is genius!

178
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,691
Right on the money,
baby, right on the money.

179
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,027
- Okay, we're moving on.
- Louis!

180
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,946
Sorry, we have to
move on to scene 37.

181
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,364
LOUIS: Tom, where's my chair?

182
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,576
"Bobby Deaver.
Possible icebreakers:"

183
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,580
(DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS)

184
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,957
Hi, Bobby.

185
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,127
No, no, no.

186
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,172
- (DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS)
- Hey, Bobby... nice belt.

187
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,300
(SIGHS)

188
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,387
REN: No! No, no, no.

189
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,097
No, no.

190
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,723
- (DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS)
- Hi, Bobby.

191
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,726
Oh, I wouldn't try that
Salisbury steak if I were you.

192
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:04,693
I'm... stupid. Just... oh!

193
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,988
- (DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS)
- Hi, Bobby. I have a big crush on you

194
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,198
and I just wanted to
let you know how I feel.

195
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,536
Ren Stevens.

196
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,371
I like it.

197
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,580
I... I love it.

198
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,207
LOUIS: Action.

199
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,794
(WESTERN THEME PLAYS)

200
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,546
Hi, cowboy.

201
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,089
Howdy.

202
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,214
Cut.

203
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,259
What are you doing?

204
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,885
You're supposed to say hello.

205
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,302
I did.

206
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,055
No, no, you said "hi," okay?

207
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,672
LOUIS: An alien would
never say "hi." Let's do it again.

208
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,977
LOUIS: Action!

209
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,812
TAWNY: Hello, cowboy.

210
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,313
(REN SIGHS)

211
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,982
Uh! Eww!

212
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,984
Eww! Ugh!

213
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,945
<i>So...</i>

214
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,780
<i>So, this is Texas.</i>

215
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,323
<i>Yup. I mean, uh...</i>

216
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,826
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
<i>Right, right, it jolly well is, eh?</i>

217
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,704
<i>What is this disgusting
slime doing in the refrigerator?</i>

218
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,997
LOUIS: Cut!

219
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,374
LOUIS: That's not slime;
it's radioactive plasma.

220
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,625
LOUIS: Tom?

221
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,252
It's disgusting...

222
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,421
Louis, can we... can we
just shoot this thing here?

223
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,131
I'm ready for my close-up, okay?

224
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,591
What's that in your mouth, huh?

225
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,301
Oh, you mean
this... this, right here?

226
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,984
Oh, I just thought, you know my
character would be more mysterious

227
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,182
- with a gold tooth.
- (CHUCKLES) Tom, rip it out of his face.

228
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,517
(GERMAN ACCENT)
Ja'whol! Give me zat tooth!

229
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,895
People, this is not a democracy!

230
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,148
This... is a movie,
it's my movie,

231
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,776
which I will not
let you mess up!

232
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,320
Now go outside and I'll
meet you out there, okay?

233
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,061
Louis, will you just chill out?

234
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,657
You're going to get
another nosebleed.

235
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,951
Tom, keep her off my set!

236
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,580
Ooh... (WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS)

237
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,707
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Where's me alien lady friend?

238
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,585
Louis, what is this, man?

239
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,253
I mean, where's the
rest of the saloon?

240
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,421
Cut.

241
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,869
Twitty, it's a close-up. No
one's going to see the saloon.

242
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,260
Now, let's just try it
again; give me a little more.

243
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,512
More what?

244
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,679
Just more.

245
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,224
Oh, Louis wants
a little more, okay.

246
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,560
(WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS)

247
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,187
LOUIS: Tissues!

248
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,111
LOUIS: Okay, ready?

249
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,904
Action.

250
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,949
- (LAWNMOWER BUZZING)
- Where's me alie...

251
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,992
Hold it... cut! What is that?

252
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,702
What is the noise?

253
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:22,038
Who mows their
lawn on Wednesday?

254
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,707
Does anyone want
me to make this movie?

255
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,627
Tom!

256
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,254
What is this?

257
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,840
TAWNY: It's official...

258
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,301
Louis is... totally
out of control.

259
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,762
Is the world against me?

260
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,018
Ren, that stuff you
wrote for Bobby Deaver...

261
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,103
I'm dying.

262
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,062
Oh, man...

263
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,648
Well, I said way too much
and it needs a lot of work.

264
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,818
If he ever read that, I
would be so embarrassed.

265
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,987
- But I already gave it to him.
- What?!

266
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,907
Wha... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

267
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,577
You... you... Okay, all right.

268
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,538
I was just writing that stuff
so I could make a really good

269
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:04,998
first impression.

270
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,293
RUBY: Oh, no!

271
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,378
This is just like the
time Wendy passed...

272
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,130
No, no, no, no!
Listen, no stories!

273
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,466
I cannot believe that you...
you... you gave it to him?

274
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,927
I didn't give it to him.
I put it in his book.

275
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,888
He'll find it tomorrow,
third period, page 427

276
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,932
right about when we get to
the outbreak of the Civil War.

277
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,100
What if he reads it?

278
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,643
Why would he? No
one reads ahead.

279
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,728
I do.

280
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,314
We have got to
get that note back.

281
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,208
LOUIS: Okay, people
let's do this, okay?

282
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,027
LOUIS: Now, this
is the touching scene

283
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,238
where the alien and
the cowboy say farewell

284
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,575
in the middle of a harsh
winter blizzard. Yeah.

285
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,161
- Tom, you got the snowflakes?
- Ta-da!

286
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,996
LOUIS: Tom, you chowderhead!

287
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,165
I asked for
snowflakes, not doilies.

288
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,834
Well, sorry, but
you said snowflakes

289
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,361
and this is the way Miss Wimmer
taught us to make snowflakes

290
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,546
in the first grade.

291
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,131
Oh, yeah, you guys
remember Wimmer?

292
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,259
She also taught us how to
make those little paper chains...

293
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,303
Guys, you see this face?

294
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,056
Don't ever make me
make this face again!

295
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,617
LOUIS: And forget
the blizzard, okay?

296
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,602
Now, it's a blazing
desert windstorm.

297
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,230
In the middle of fall.

298
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,940
Yeah, that'll work. Okay, now...

299
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,526
you go up in your spaceship,
and you try to stop her. Okay?

300
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,571
Where is the spaceship?

301
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,531
Up there right above your head.

302
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,286
How am I supposed
to get up there?

303
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,371
Tom!

304
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,748
That's why you're
wearing a harness.

305
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,041
LOUIS: Let's go!

306
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,417
Is this safe?

307
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,877
Of course it's safe.

308
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,921
I had Tom test it on
a sack of potatoes.

309
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,464
Yeah, a 20-pounder.

310
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,007
A sack of potatoes?

311
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,758
TAWNY: Louis!

312
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,053
Can you stop questioning
everything I do?

313
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,973
This is the most important
scene in my movie. And action!

314
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:47,892
(GRUNTING)

315
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,144
Good-bye, cowboy. I cannot stay.

316
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,313
They need me back
on Planet Zorton.

317
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,357
- TWITTY: Farewell, Zenobia.
- (ROPE CREAKING)

318
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,609
You've taught me so much

319
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,654
but yet... so little.

320
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,532
- Goodbye, my love.
- (ROPE CREAKING)

321
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,076
Farewell to my love...

322
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,203
- (SNAPS)
- (SCREAMING)

323
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,289
Cut!

324
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,456
Oh!

325
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,292
Oh, my gosh! Are
you guys all right?

326
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,377
Yeah, but my leg
hurts a little bit.

327
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,045
I feel like I'm
going to throw up.

328
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,923
- But you guys are okay, right?
- Well, basically.

329
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,217
Great. So, we'll take
five, and we'll go again.

330
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,553
I'm not going back up there.

331
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,180
Why? Tom will be more
careful this time, right?

332
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,224
Louis, that's it.

333
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,184
You don't even care
what happens to us.

334
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,812
I'm not doing your stupid
movie anymore. I quit.

335
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,939
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Yeah, me, too, partner.

336
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,400
Go find yourself some other
English cowboy to boss around.

337
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,237
(SNICKERS) You guys
think you aren't replaceable?

338
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,198
Tom, my man, huh?

339
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,075
Here it is, your time to shine.

340
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,161
You're only nice to me
when you want something.

341
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,662
Yeah, so?

342
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,332
Hey, I'll even let
you do those accents.

343
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,751
Okay... here's one.

344
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,586
(ITALIAN ACCENT)
If you don't mind

345
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,172
I'm going to make like
a Tom... and Cruise.

346
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,843
Oh, yeah? That's fine. I
don't need you guys anyway.

347
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,346
I can finish the
movie by myself.

348
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,139
It's my thing.

349
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,524
REN: Um...

350
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,152
I'm sorry, little
three-eyed girl

351
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,446
but do you know
where my brother is?

352
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:29,202
You know, Ren, I'd laugh except,
um my alien brassiere is killing me.

353
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,536
(LAUGHS)

354
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,373
Why don't you be quiet and let
me get back to my movie, okay?

355
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,582
Oh.

356
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,084
Wait a second.

357
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,044
Where's your cast?

358
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,587
LOUIS: They all quit on me.

359
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:40,755
Bunch of amateurs.

360
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,215
Hey, they're your best friends.

361
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,466
No, not anymore.

362
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,009
I mean, it doesn't
matter anyways.

363
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,720
I can shoot this whole romantic
farewell scene by myself.

364
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,139
So, you're just going to
kiss yourself good-bye?

365
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,182
Yeah, basically.

366
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,267
I mean, if I shoot
the right angle

367
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,977
and disguise my
face and my voice,

368
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,781
I mean, nobody will
be able to tell it's me.

369
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,980
It's called "movie magic."

370
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,650
No, no, no. That is
called "creepy behavior."

371
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,528
Why don't you just
apologize to your little friends

372
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,405
and just finish your
movie the right way?

373
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,990
Ren, what planet are you from?

374
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,537
Okay, that's it. I'm going to have
to turn the sprinkler on you again.

375
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,039
(CHUCKLES)

376
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:18,418
TODD: We stretch
for... knowledge

377
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,920
we stretch for...

378
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,005
focus...

379
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,133
I really need to get that
note from Bobby's book.

380
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,259
It's in his bag.

381
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,887
TODD: we stretch
for concentration.

382
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:34,642
And again, we stretch
for... knowledge...

383
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,187
we stretch for... focus,

384
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,816
we stretch for concentration.

385
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,278
Ren, is there a problem?

386
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,905
No. You see, Todd,

387
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:51,159
while all of us were
stretching for knowledge,

388
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,453
I was squatting for truth.

389
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,705
What a great idea, Ren!

390
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,665
Why don't we all
squat for truth?

391
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,292
Up, up, up.

392
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,254
And one...

393
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,383
and two and three.

394
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,552
Now, that we've all
opened our chakras,

395
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,762
let's open our books to page 427

396
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,515
and begin our discussion
on the Civil War.

397
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,683
No!

398
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,393
Ren, something wrong?

399
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,813
Yes, I don't think that
we should move ahead

400
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,899
until all of us are
clear on the events

401
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,151
that led to the outbreak
of the Civil War.

402
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,861
Is everyone clear?

403
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,279
ALL: Yes.

404
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,530
Okay, moving on.

405
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,990
Page 427.

406
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,835
Ruby, I thought that you
put the note in his book.

407
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,087
I did. I don't know
what happened to it.

408
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,516
- Sorry, man.
- Oh, it's no problem.

409
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,402
I did. I don't know
what happened to it.

410
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,115
Ren.

411
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,659
I have to talk to you.

412
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,705
Okay.

413
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,251
Okay. What's up?

414
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,127
Ren, it has to end.

415
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,421
What does?

416
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,340
You know what I'm talking about.

417
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,552
The looks in the hall,

418
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,179
the flinging of mash potatoes.

419
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,515
Love notes.

420
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,849
Oh.

421
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,143
Ren, it's getting a
little bit too intense.

422
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,355
Ren, I'm an
old-fashioned kind of guy.

423
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,234
I believe in courtship
and romance.

424
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,361
Ivan, I...

425
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,115
Please, Ren, just don't speak.

426
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,033
I'm going to walk away now.

427
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,035
Try not to watch me.

428
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,542
I'm okay.

429
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,510
Hi, Louis Stevens, director
of<i> Three Eyes Wide Shut.</i>

430
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,304
Hey, let's do lunch
sometime, huh?

431
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,015
Hey, have your
people call my people.

432
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,559
Hey, yada-yada-yada. Let's
just talk about something, huh?

433
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,935
TAWNY: Louis.

434
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,480
You guys, you came. Thanks.

435
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,607
TWITTY: You're surprised?

436
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,942
I mean, you left us 17 messages.

437
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,403
My mom says you're not
allowed to call anymore.

438
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:33,904
I'm really sorry, guys.

439
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,574
And after I finished the movie,

440
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,242
I realized I was kind of...

441
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,619
Acting like a jerk?

442
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:40,911
Right, right.

443
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:44,290
Louis, I'm willing to put the
snowflake incident behind us.

444
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,541
Same here.

445
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,209
Group hug?

446
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,377
No, I'm good. You good?

447
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,629
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Okay.

448
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,464
No, but I'm really
glad you guys came.

449
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,341
- Enjoy the movie, okay?
- Okay.

450
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,137
Louis, aren't you
going to go inside?

451
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,473
No, I'm nervous. I'm
going to hang around.

452
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,226
ANNOUNCER: And now our
final film, <i>Three Eyes Wide Shut</i>

453
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,979
directed by Louis Stevens.

454
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,819
(ROARS)

455
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,493
(WESTERN THEME PLAYS)

456
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,663
<i>So, this is Texas?</i>

457
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,083
<i>Yep. I mean, it
jolly well is, then.</i>

458
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,918
(LAUGHING)

459
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,503
GIRL: What's going on here?

460
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,505
This movie's getting weird.

461
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,256
COWBOY:<i> Farewell, Zenobia.</i>

462
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,550
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
<i>Bye, my English cowboy.</i>

463
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,344
<i>It was fun while it lasted.</i>

464
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,846
BOY: Hey, that's the same guy.

465
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,224
Oh, gross! He's
not kissing anybody!

466
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,227
- He's kissing himself!
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

467
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,150
Uh, Louis...

468
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,653
we can kind of see you there.

469
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,241
Yeah, I was trying to blend in.

470
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,703
- My movie reeked.
- Dude, give yourself a break.

471
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,163
Man, I mean, you got
into the festival, didn't you?

472
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,915
And they only took
the top ten entries.

473
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,499
Everyone got accepted.
There was only nine entries.

474
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,587
Oh, well, hey, good sideburns.

475
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,798
That wasn't really
the point of my movie.

476
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,426
I don't think anybody got
what I was trying to say.

477
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,469
Everybody was into it, you know

478
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,972
but then the ending
kind of threw them off

479
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,975
'cause they saw you
trying to play all the parts.

480
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,851
Yeah, you should
never wear a dress.

481
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,936
Well, at least not that color.

482
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,187
(CAR HORN HONKS)

483
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,605
There's my mom

484
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,941
and she doesn't like to
honk more than once, so...

485
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,026
- All right. See you, man.
- Later.

486
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,947
Hey. Ah, you're still here?

487
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,134
Yeah, I thought you left
in the middle or something.

488
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,118
I was just thinking
about the movie.

489
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,704
Louis, it had a great message.

490
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,748
It's about feeling
like an outsider

491
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,833
and wanting to be
accepted by your peers.

492
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,835
Yeah. You got that?

493
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,462
Totally.

494
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,213
TAWNY: And when
that third eye cried,

495
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,089
I cried.

496
00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,132
(CHUCKLES)

497
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,968
Can we watch it again?

498
00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:02,135
Yeah, sure.

499
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,180
Oh, can I ask you something?

500
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,267
Did my thighs look
too fat in a dress, huh?

501
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,728
(SNICKERS)

502
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,105
They look... they
looked muscular.

503
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,315
LOUIS: Muscular?

504
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,027
TAWNY: <i>I liked it even
better the second time.</i>

505
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,154
LOUIS: <i>Wait till
you see the outtakes.</i>

506
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,324
LOUIS:<i> And action.</i>

507
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,118
(LAUGHING)

508
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,455
- What's life like out there? You know...
- Uh-oh.

509
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:30,790
With the...

510
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,252
(LAUGHS) Jeez!
My bad. I'm sorry.

511
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:38,756
(SWEDISH ACCENT) My
name is Serge; I am from Sweden.

512
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,091
I can see pretty
good with this thing.

513
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,510
How does it look on me?

514
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,183
That Louis thinks he's so cool.

515
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,851
Big-shot director.

516
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:52,895
I'll show him.

517
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,772
I'm going to be a
big star some day

518
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,274
and he'll be sorry he ever
messed with Tom Gribalski.

519
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:58,442
LOUIS: (SHOUTS) Tom!

520
00:21:58,609 --> 00:21:59,819
Coming!

521
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,364
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)