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00:00:00,221 --> 00:00:01,557
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
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(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)
3
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(SLURPING)
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(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)
5
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(EXPLOSION)
6
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As you can clearly
see... (CHUCKLES)
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With five people
using one phone line,
8
00:00:46,624 --> 00:00:49,176
the telecommunication
needs of the female sibling,
9
00:00:49,343 --> 00:00:51,629
namely me, are
just not being met.
10
00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:55,332
Therefore, I am proposing that
I be given my own phone line.
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Thank you. You've been
a very receptive audience.
12
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So?
13
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:03,804
Well, honey, that was a
very convincing argument
14
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but, oh, you know, I
would hold on to that graph
15
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because it's just
about tornado time in...
16
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,108
three, two, one...
17
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Nice footwork
around the corners.
18
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Why is it that everyone in
this family can be on time
19
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but that lazy slug
sleeps till the last minute
20
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then just runs down
here like a... tornado...
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Honey, it wouldn't hurt
to be a little more positive
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00:01:34,739 --> 00:01:35,746
towards your brother.
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But, Daddy...
24
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he is so irritating and
if I don't say anything,
25
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I'm afraid that my head
is going to explode.
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Okay, Ren, how
is this for incentive?
27
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If you can not put your
brother down for a whole week,
28
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- we will give you your own phone line.
- That's good.
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- Really?
- EILEEN: Mmm-hmm.
30
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- One week?
- Mm-hmm.
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For a lifetime of privacy.
32
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Deal.
33
00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:02,916
Mom, Dad yeah, I almost
forgot... you guys got to sign
34
00:02:03,141 --> 00:02:05,452
that permission slip for the
seventh-grade chocolate sale.
35
00:02:05,808 --> 00:02:07,291
Mmm, it's...
36
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I... I thought I had
it in my front pocket.
37
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You do.
38
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Your pants are on backwards!
39
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Which is a really
stylin' look for you.
40
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Really?
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(SIGHS)
42
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(BELL RINGING)
43
00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:31,066
I can't believe we're
missing English
44
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for some stupid
chocolate sale assembly.
45
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Ha-ha!
46
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(SNARE DRUM PLAYING)
47
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(TRUMPETS PLAYING FANFARE)
48
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MAN: (COUGHING) Kill the smoke.
49
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,692
Kill the smoke! (COUGHING)
50
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Ladies and gentlemen
51
00:02:47,219 --> 00:02:49,071
there are two types
of people in this world:
52
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those who can sell chocolate
and those who wish they could.
53
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Which one are you?
54
00:02:55,019 --> 00:02:56,488
Who does this guy think he is?
55
00:02:56,638 --> 00:02:58,238
I don't know,
but I like his suit.
56
00:02:58,313 --> 00:02:59,753
You are probably
saying to yourself.
57
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,876
"Hey, why would I want to
sell chocolate for my school?"
58
00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:04,119
Well, I'll tell you.
59
00:03:04,286 --> 00:03:06,869
First of all, you're going to be
in some pretty good company.
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00:03:07,036 --> 00:03:09,121
Shaquille O'Neal
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00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:11,692
star of the feature film Kazaam
62
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sold chocolate.
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00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,940
Benjamin Franklin...
64
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discovered electricity,
65
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signed the Declaration
of Independence
66
00:03:20,775 --> 00:03:24,256
and, uh... oh, yeah,
sold chocolate.
67
00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:28,526
Zeus, the most powerful
of all the Greek gods...
68
00:03:28,693 --> 00:03:30,302
come on, say it with me...
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00:03:30,468 --> 00:03:32,095
ALL: Sold chocolate.
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That's right.
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00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:35,617
People, if that's not
enough to convince you,
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00:03:35,784 --> 00:03:37,995
then feast your
eyes on the prize
73
00:03:38,162 --> 00:03:40,797
which goes to this
school's top seller.
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00:03:40,964 --> 00:03:44,800
Ladies and gentlemen
of Lawrence Junior High
75
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:49,940
I present to you the very latest
in motorized scooter technology...
76
00:03:50,407 --> 00:03:53,935
the AstroScoot XE!
77
00:03:56,655 --> 00:04:00,785
Kids, this is one sweet ride.
78
00:04:00,977 --> 00:04:03,030
Somebody sitting in
this auditorium right now
79
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:04,855
is going to go home
with this scooter.
80
00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:06,972
Who's it going to
be? I'll tell you...
81
00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:09,951
the person who believes
they can take a dream
82
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,376
and make it into a reality.
83
00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:13,794
I want that scooter.
84
00:04:14,147 --> 00:04:17,381
The person who believes
they were put on this earth
85
00:04:17,547 --> 00:04:18,972
to sell chocolate.
86
00:04:19,138 --> 00:04:20,328
That's why I'm here.
87
00:04:20,495 --> 00:04:23,840
The person who
believes they can become
88
00:04:24,007 --> 00:04:26,176
the number one
seller of chocolate
89
00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:29,904
in the history of
Lawrence Junior High!
90
00:04:30,398 --> 00:04:31,823
I believe!
91
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,118
TWITTY: Louis, I
ain't fooling you, man.
92
00:04:39,285 --> 00:04:40,949
Sandy totally likes me.
93
00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:43,184
She ignores me all
the time, you know.
94
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,945
This one time in
class she was all...
95
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,623
Oh, baby.
96
00:04:52,212 --> 00:04:55,634
Oh, man... You complete me.
97
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:57,190
Louis?
98
00:04:59,946 --> 00:05:01,721
Louis, forget about
the scooter, man.
99
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,071
You're never going to get it.
100
00:05:03,238 --> 00:05:04,990
I heard that last year
Freddie Donaldson
101
00:05:05,157 --> 00:05:07,784
had to sell 300 boxes
just to get a water cannon.
102
00:05:07,951 --> 00:05:10,645
So what? So, we'll team
up, and we'll sell 400 boxes.
103
00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,647
This puppy's ours, man.
104
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,941
Dude, I don't know...
that is a lot of chocolate.
105
00:05:15,585 --> 00:05:17,825
Twitty, there are only two
kinds of people in this world:
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00:05:17,927 --> 00:05:19,327
those that sell
chocolate and those
107
00:05:19,479 --> 00:05:21,519
that ride around on scooters
like Benjamin Franklin.
108
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:25,059
Now, we have a chance to
make history happen here.
109
00:05:25,226 --> 00:05:26,778
Have I ever steered you wrong?
110
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:34,195
(SCREAMING)
111
00:05:34,861 --> 00:05:36,771
Do you really want
me to answer that?
112
00:05:37,263 --> 00:05:39,974
Come on, man, we're a
great team. We're a great team.
113
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:41,659
Remember when we beat that, uh
114
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:44,447
that two-man water slide record
at Tube Town? Remember?
115
00:05:44,614 --> 00:05:47,575
Oh, yeah, man... most times
through the Portal of Doom
116
00:05:47,742 --> 00:05:49,509
- without throwing up.
- Throwing up.
117
00:05:49,673 --> 00:05:51,954
There's only one thing better
than winning this scooter...
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00:05:52,045 --> 00:05:53,522
sharing it with my best friend.
119
00:05:53,623 --> 00:05:55,783
Okay, dude, I'll do it. Just
don't touch me, all right?
120
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,768
Who's the man? You're the man.
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00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,909
(LOUIS LAUGHS)
122
00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:02,981
Are you staring at my scooter?
123
00:06:03,398 --> 00:06:04,858
Is he staring at our scooter?
124
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,506
LOUIS: (ON PHONE) Can
I talk to Mr. Jones, please?
125
00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:16,745
Mr. Jones? Hi.
126
00:06:16,912 --> 00:06:20,248
Uh, this is Louis Stevens from
Real Good Chocolate Industries
127
00:06:20,415 --> 00:06:23,042
and one of my associates
will be in your neighborhood...
128
00:06:23,209 --> 00:06:26,504
tomorrow morning, uh, selling
the world's finest chocolate.
129
00:06:26,671 --> 00:06:29,240
Excuse me... Mm-hmm.
130
00:06:29,407 --> 00:06:31,265
That's what I said...
tomorrow morning, sir.
131
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,972
Louis, I need to
speak to you now.
132
00:06:36,286 --> 00:06:37,866
Uh, sir, could you
hold on a second?
133
00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:41,308
My secretary, Miss Crabby
Pants has a question for me.
134
00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,930
Ah-ha-ha! That's so funny.
135
00:06:44,097 --> 00:06:45,373
Thank you, sir.
136
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,251
Louis, I was just wondering,
not in a negative way
137
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or to put you down or anything,
138
00:06:50,929 --> 00:06:52,822
but are you ever going
to get off the phone?
139
00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:54,441
Short answer... No. No.
140
00:06:54,608 --> 00:06:56,334
See, I have a big
fish on the line.
141
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,102
I just... I got to reel him in.
142
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:00,914
Uh, hi, Mr. Jones.
It's me again.
143
00:07:01,614 --> 00:07:05,568
Right. So... so can I put you
down for, uh, a dozen boxes?
144
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:09,414
Oh, oh, oh, chocolate
makes you break out in hives.
145
00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:11,775
Well, uh, you could just...
146
00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:14,160
you could just wear a red
shirt and go with it, huh?
147
00:07:14,327 --> 00:07:16,104
- (DIAL TONE)
- Hello?
148
00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:19,541
Can I use the phone now?
149
00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:21,418
No, you can't. Maybe next week.
150
00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:24,126
'Cause, uh, me and Twitty got
to sell 400 boxes of chocolate.
151
00:07:24,293 --> 00:07:25,739
Four hundred boxes?
152
00:07:25,905 --> 00:07:28,391
Louis, you actually think that
you're going to sell 400 boxes?
153
00:07:28,558 --> 00:07:31,604
You are a total and
complete... Hi, kids.
154
00:07:31,771 --> 00:07:34,190
Inspiration... to all of us.
155
00:07:34,357 --> 00:07:35,640
(FORCED LAUGHTER)
156
00:07:35,807 --> 00:07:38,092
Go get 'em, Tiger.
(PLAYFUL GROWL)
157
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,378
So then... so then I
hand you the chocolate,
158
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,044
you eat it, and then you say...
159
00:07:43,456 --> 00:07:44,974
"It's a miracle."
160
00:07:45,692 --> 00:07:47,244
"I can see again."
161
00:07:47,786 --> 00:07:49,320
- No, that's not what you say.
- No?
162
00:07:49,462 --> 00:07:52,098
No, it's not. See, 'cause you
were blind, and now you can see.
163
00:07:52,249 --> 00:07:53,998
That's a miracle -
you can see now.
164
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,898
So, you got to be energetic
and pumped, right?
165
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,562
- Yeah.
- So, what did Mr. Randall say?
166
00:07:57,586 --> 00:07:58,671
Do you remember?
167
00:07:59,089 --> 00:08:02,588
He said, "You got to make me feel
that chocolate has changed your life."
168
00:08:02,855 --> 00:08:04,357
- Right?
- Okay.
169
00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:05,894
It's a miracle!
170
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:07,187
(GASPS)
171
00:08:07,437 --> 00:08:11,108
(CRYING) I can see again!
172
00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:12,744
No, that's too much, man.
173
00:08:13,519 --> 00:08:15,522
- Oh, okay.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
174
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,890
I'm going to get the doorbell.
175
00:08:17,056 --> 00:08:18,875
Um, uh... you keep rehearsing.
176
00:08:19,042 --> 00:08:21,052
It's somewhere in between
there, though. It's good.
177
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:22,679
Oh, the chocolate's here!
178
00:08:22,812 --> 00:08:24,812
Chocolate... oh, you
could put it right over there.
179
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:26,065
Thank you, man.
180
00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:29,085
- Chocolate. Wow.
- Yeah.
181
00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:31,379
Hey there, hi there, ho there.
182
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,723
Oh, Mr. Randall, you
brought it yourself?
183
00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:36,119
Guys, when I heard the
news, I had to come down here
184
00:08:36,219 --> 00:08:37,659
and personally
congratulate you two.
185
00:08:37,811 --> 00:08:41,215
You are attempting
a brave, brave thing.
186
00:08:41,381 --> 00:08:44,509
Well, I think that we were
born to sell chocolate.
187
00:08:44,676 --> 00:08:46,336
That's the attitude.
188
00:08:46,503 --> 00:08:48,261
Keep it coming, guys. Come on.
189
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:52,390
Dude, uh... that's an
awful lot of chocolate.
190
00:08:52,556 --> 00:08:54,600
Eight hundred boxes!
191
00:08:54,886 --> 00:08:56,612
Well, I mean, we're
going to try to sell...
192
00:08:58,131 --> 00:09:01,225
Uh... 800 boxes?
193
00:09:01,816 --> 00:09:03,593
Because I only ordered 400.
194
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,446
Uh... Louis?
195
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:07,889
So did I.
196
00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,076
So, I ordered 400...
197
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,930
and then you ordered 400.
198
00:09:13,195 --> 00:09:16,883
Which makes 800 boxes
of the finest grade "A"
199
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:21,083
artificially flavored chocolate
that money... can buy.
200
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:23,798
Obviously, there's been
a mistake, see, 'cause...
201
00:09:24,558 --> 00:09:26,813
we really can't sell
this much chocolate, sir.
202
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:30,021
Oh-ho, yes, you can, and
you will and you know why?
203
00:09:30,188 --> 00:09:33,221
Because I believe in you
guys and also because,
204
00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:35,731
if you read the fine print in
the forms your parents signed,
205
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,683
you'll see that you are
financially responsible
206
00:09:37,823 --> 00:09:40,073
for each and every box of
chocolate that you ordered.
207
00:09:40,239 --> 00:09:42,359
Good luck, fellas. Remember,
when you write the check,
208
00:09:42,441 --> 00:09:44,173
it's Randall with
the two L's, okay?
209
00:09:44,339 --> 00:09:46,098
Two L's, all right? Guys...
210
00:09:46,204 --> 00:09:48,429
what do you say we go get
some, uh, hot wings, huh?
211
00:09:48,579 --> 00:09:50,224
Who's buying? (SNAPPING FINGERS)
212
00:09:52,586 --> 00:09:55,004
So, you guys got your
400 boxes of chocolate?
213
00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:56,771
- Eight hundred boxes...
- Eight hundred.
214
00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:59,773
You know, 'cause there was
kind of a little mix-up, 'cause...
215
00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:02,448
Wait a second. You are
stuck with all those boxes?
216
00:10:02,604 --> 00:10:05,004
When you say it like that it
kind of sounds like a bad thing.
217
00:10:05,098 --> 00:10:06,657
And we have to pay for it all
218
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,408
- whether we sell it or not.
- Mm-hmm.
219
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,455
How much money do you
have in your college fund?
220
00:10:10,562 --> 00:10:11,937
I see what you're trying to do.
221
00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:13,497
You are purposely screwing up
222
00:10:13,664 --> 00:10:16,440
so I'm going to put you down
and then I won't get my phone.
223
00:10:16,607 --> 00:10:18,847
- What are you talking about?
- Not going to fall for it.
224
00:10:18,979 --> 00:10:21,356
Uh-uh. No. In fact, I'm
going to stay positive.
225
00:10:21,523 --> 00:10:23,942
I'm going to be happy
and think happy thoughts.
226
00:10:24,108 --> 00:10:25,276
I'm going to sing!
227
00:10:25,393 --> 00:10:29,489
(SINGING) La,
la-la La, la... la!
228
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,214
Louis, we're in
deep... chocolate.
229
00:10:35,487 --> 00:10:37,628
Shh! Don't even.
230
00:10:38,615 --> 00:10:39,809
What were you thinking?
231
00:10:39,884 --> 00:10:41,604
You ordered an extra
400 boxes of chocolate?
232
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,235
I just thought that
if I ordered them...
233
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,945
You don't think, that's
what you don't do
234
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,614
'cause I'm the
brains of this team.
235
00:10:46,781 --> 00:10:48,240
Yeah, and who made you the boss?
236
00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:50,301
That's how it always
is... all the great duos.
237
00:10:50,468 --> 00:10:54,539
Batman, he rescues people
and-and... and Robin...
238
00:10:55,899 --> 00:11:00,109
Robin... checks with Batman before
he orders 400 boxes of chocolate!
239
00:11:00,275 --> 00:11:02,152
Oh, oh, okay, so...
so then it's my fault
240
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:04,279
whenever your stupid
schemes backfire?
241
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,832
At least I think of schemes.
242
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,957
I say you take your 400
boxes and I'll take mine.
243
00:11:09,124 --> 00:11:10,947
- Well, then take them.
- I'm taking them.
244
00:11:11,114 --> 00:11:12,832
- Go ahead. Get them.
- I...
245
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,650
(GRUNTING)
246
00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:17,838
I just can't... take
them all at once.
247
00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:18,972
Twitty
248
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:22,350
you couldn't even give that
many boxes of chocolate away.
249
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:25,186
I can... and I will.
250
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:27,321
Well, then this
partnership is over.
251
00:11:27,488 --> 00:11:29,281
This friendship is over.
252
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:30,808
Then get out.
253
00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:36,255
(ALARM SOUNDING)
254
00:11:37,232 --> 00:11:38,382
(ALARM STOPS)
255
00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:40,836
(GROANS)
256
00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:43,921
6:00 a.m. Must sell chocolate.
257
00:11:57,285 --> 00:11:59,829
- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (TAPPING SOUND)
258
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:03,366
That's why I've been having those
dreams about killer woodpeckers.
259
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:07,303
Louis, we've been
tap-dancing for a month now.
260
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,914
Yeah, it's our new Saturday
morning family project.
261
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,589
Yeah, and tap dancing is
great for the basketball footwork.
262
00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:17,018
And Grandma says
the dames really dig it.
263
00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:22,198
So, what do you think, Louis?
264
00:12:22,531 --> 00:12:24,992
Oh, don't worry. I won't tell
your friends you're doing this.
265
00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:26,230
Thank you.
266
00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:27,940
So, why are you up so early?
267
00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,732
Oh, the world needs chocolate.
268
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,786
And I need my
parking space back.
269
00:12:31,894 --> 00:12:33,404
I wish you'd asked
me before you put
270
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,840
all those boxes of
chocolate in the garage.
271
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,008
I'm sorry, Dad.
272
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:40,010
Please, I'm not gonna tell you
again. Get them out of there.
273
00:12:40,096 --> 00:12:41,946
Okay, I will. I'll have
them sold in no time.
274
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:44,123
Louis, aren't you
working with Alan Twitty?
275
00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:46,759
Yeah, well, me and Twitty
had creative differences
276
00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:48,594
because I'm creative
and he's different.
277
00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:51,222
Besides, you think Ben Franklin
278
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,796
needed help from Albert Einstein
when he was selling chocolate?
279
00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:55,950
Louis, you can't sell all
that chocolate by yourself.
280
00:12:56,077 --> 00:12:57,995
Why not? Mr. Randall
thinks I can.
281
00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,831
At least he believes in me.
282
00:13:01,307 --> 00:13:02,550
I believe in you!
283
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:03,835
STEVE: That a girl.
284
00:13:04,002 --> 00:13:06,720
Oh, Louis, you know, you
really should have told me this
285
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,482
before I bought six candy
bars from Alan Twitty.
286
00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:11,400
Twitty's been here already?
287
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,789
Real Good Chocolate Industries.
288
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,870
(SNORING)
289
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,545
(GASPS)
290
00:13:41,097 --> 00:13:42,373
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks.
291
00:13:42,539 --> 00:13:44,273
Hi. I'm Louis Stevens
from next door.
292
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,000
I took the liberty
of letting myself in.
293
00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,369
I am so glad you're laying
down right now. You know why?
294
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,340
Because I have an amazing offer
that will knock you off your feet.
295
00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:52,578
A little shy in the morning?
296
00:13:52,692 --> 00:13:54,485
Just nod how many
chocolate bars you want.
297
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,792
- One...
- (NOISE OUTSIDE)
298
00:13:56,153 --> 00:13:58,155
TWITTY: Come and get
your chocolate. Come on.
299
00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:00,331
(BEDSPRINGS BOINGING)
300
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:01,976
TWITTY: Get your
chocolate, come on!
301
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,196
(BELL RINGING)
302
00:14:04,662 --> 00:14:05,771
Twitty!
303
00:14:05,997 --> 00:14:07,879
(CLAMORING)
304
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,336
(BEDSPRINGS BOINGING)
305
00:14:29,262 --> 00:14:30,555
Ah!
306
00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:32,415
Sorry to interrupt,
but it seems to me
307
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:34,815
you girls could use an
energy boost about now, right?
308
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:37,001
We could use our
ball back about now.
309
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,088
All right, we're going
to do a little taste-test.
310
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,255
- Have we ever met, ma'am?
- No.
311
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:44,643
Well, uh, why don't you go ahead
and take a bite out of that, hmm?
312
00:14:45,769 --> 00:14:48,188
So, is that the best chocolate
bar you've ever eaten?
313
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,990
That's not the best
chocolate bar I've ever eaten.
314
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,635
Too bad. You ate it. You owe
me a buck, hmm? Who's next?
315
00:14:53,802 --> 00:14:56,206
(PLAYING HEAVY
METAL GUITAR RIFF)
316
00:14:56,372 --> 00:14:59,584
Welcome to Chocopalooza!
317
00:15:00,735 --> 00:15:02,735
Check out the
other Chocolate Guy!
318
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,170
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
319
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,482
Twitty!
320
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,603
Girls, please, don't crowd.
321
00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:12,502
There's plenty for everyone.
322
00:15:13,523 --> 00:15:16,105
Check out the
other Chocolate Guy!
323
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,591
Step right up!
324
00:15:18,758 --> 00:15:20,843
Buy chocolate from
the One-Man Circus!
325
00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:25,960
Louis, hi. I didn't know
you could ride a unicycle.
326
00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:27,253
I can't.
327
00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:28,928
(THUD)
328
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,039
(GROANS)
329
00:15:31,552 --> 00:15:32,952
So, you want to
buy some chocolate?
330
00:15:33,092 --> 00:15:34,702
Uh-uh, no. Forget it.
331
00:15:34,869 --> 00:15:36,320
I'm not buying
from either of you.
332
00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:37,655
Oh. Why?
333
00:15:38,331 --> 00:15:39,934
Well, first of all,
it tastes like dirt.
334
00:15:40,052 --> 00:15:41,067
Right.
335
00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:43,071
Yeah, and second of all,
I'm boycotting chocolate
336
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,622
because you're
ruining your friendship
337
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,313
over some stupid sale.
338
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,791
Well, can you just buy one
so I can meet my quota?
339
00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:50,701
- What's your quota?
- One.
340
00:15:51,419 --> 00:15:52,437
Wait a second.
341
00:15:52,562 --> 00:15:55,042
You've been selling chocolate
all day and you haven't sold one?
342
00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:56,782
- Yeah.
- Twitty's been raking it in.
343
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,260
Yeah, I know, but
I'm not gonna give up.
344
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,703
It's like that old saying:
345
00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:03,481
"If you fall off your unicycle,
you get right back on."
346
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,550
Unless the angry
clown wants it back.
347
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:09,262
It was her, I swear!
348
00:16:10,088 --> 00:16:11,388
(GROWLS)
349
00:16:14,635 --> 00:16:15,838
Okay.
350
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:23,743
Donnie, you've been in
there for two hours. Come out!
351
00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:26,497
(SHOWER RUNNING)
352
00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:28,113
(SIGHS)
353
00:16:29,524 --> 00:16:31,092
Hey, Rennie, what's up?
354
00:16:31,734 --> 00:16:33,269
Why do you have sunglasses on?
355
00:16:33,436 --> 00:16:35,534
To hold my cucumbers up. Duh.
356
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:36,922
What are you doing in there?
357
00:16:37,089 --> 00:16:39,650
I created my own steam
room for total body purification.
358
00:16:39,816 --> 00:16:41,536
You know I got a pimple
from that chocolate?
359
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,946
You know, I'd send you an "I'm
sorry about your pimple" card
360
00:16:43,977 --> 00:16:45,590
except I need to
brush my teeth first.
361
00:16:45,757 --> 00:16:47,050
Yeah, hold on.
362
00:16:50,339 --> 00:16:51,539
Here you go.
363
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,089
I-It's melted.
364
00:16:53,256 --> 00:16:55,082
How did you get
it so hot in there?
365
00:16:55,308 --> 00:16:57,383
I took the safety switch
off the hot water heater
366
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,168
and turned it up to full power.
367
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:02,808
I can boil a lobster in the
toilet bowl now. (LAUGHS)
368
00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:07,095
Weirdo.
369
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:14,969
(STEAM WHISTLING)
370
00:17:29,609 --> 00:17:32,741
Hey, Louis, tell Mom and Dad I went
to the store to get a new toothbrush.
371
00:17:32,837 --> 00:17:34,957
Can you get me aspirin?
I've got a splitting headache.
372
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:36,173
What are you doing?
373
00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:38,339
I'm desperate, so I'm going
for the sympathy angle.
374
00:17:38,401 --> 00:17:39,881
Who wouldn't buy
chocolate from a kid
375
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:41,479
who's got a fence
post through his head?
376
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:44,023
If I wasn't a phone-loving,
positive person,
377
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,673
I just might say something.
378
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,091
What is that?!
379
00:17:54,984 --> 00:17:56,318
It tastes like dirt.
380
00:17:58,127 --> 00:17:59,204
It's my chocolate!
381
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,699
(GRUNTS)
382
00:18:04,614 --> 00:18:07,425
- Oh...
- (GROANING)
383
00:18:07,592 --> 00:18:08,625
Ren, help me!
384
00:18:08,791 --> 00:18:09,940
REN: Wha-what?...?
385
00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:11,818
How exactly do
you stop chocolate?
386
00:18:11,985 --> 00:18:14,218
Get the broom! Get
the broom! Get the rake!
387
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,605
Stop dripping.
388
00:18:15,772 --> 00:18:16,773
Here. Here.
389
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:21,752
You put your chocolate
next to the hot water heater!
390
00:18:21,919 --> 00:18:23,775
I'm starting to think
that's a bad thing.
391
00:18:23,942 --> 00:18:24,943
This is not working.
392
00:18:25,109 --> 00:18:26,173
Yes, it is.
393
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:28,217
- We've got to eat it!
- No way.
394
00:18:28,384 --> 00:18:29,692
Yes. You go first.
395
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,683
Louis, did you finally get that
chocolate out of the garage?
396
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:39,142
I'm working on it.
397
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,937
Because it'd be nice
to park my car in...
398
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,324
Whoa! Louis!
399
00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:46,099
LOUIS: Dad!
400
00:18:46,266 --> 00:18:48,476
Not to change the subject,
but did I get any mail?
401
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,717
Hey! How's my top salesman...
402
00:18:51,884 --> 00:18:53,042
Is that your chocolate?
403
00:18:53,209 --> 00:18:55,336
I thought we could move
more of it in liquid form.
404
00:18:55,811 --> 00:18:58,011
Listen, kid, I think you
better pay me right now.
405
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,262
I don't have the money.
406
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,923
Don't make me take legal
action. I've sued third graders.
407
00:19:03,686 --> 00:19:05,551
So, you're going
to sue my son, huh?
408
00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:09,305
I may be covered in chocolate,
but I happen to be an attorney.
409
00:19:09,472 --> 00:19:10,473
I'm not afraid of you.
410
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,186
Nobody can touch
Wallace Randall.
411
00:19:12,353 --> 00:19:13,354
Whoa!
412
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,600
Let me tell you
something, Randall.
413
00:19:17,767 --> 00:19:18,793
I've been researching
414
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,112
your Chocolate Pyramid
of Success, Incorporated
415
00:19:21,278 --> 00:19:22,596
and as far as I can tell,
416
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,866
none of the profits have
even made it back to schools.
417
00:19:25,024 --> 00:19:27,401
Wait... I got to pay for the
wrappers, the cardboard boxes,
418
00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:30,071
the fancy foil wrapper
things... That stuff adds up.
419
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:32,990
You've exploited and
manipulated children for too long.
420
00:19:33,141 --> 00:19:34,541
You're going to get
your money back
421
00:19:34,658 --> 00:19:37,678
but if I ever find you running
another chocolate sale,
422
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:41,365
I will bring you up on charges
of fraud, embezzlement...
423
00:19:43,117 --> 00:19:44,744
and selling crummy chocolate!
424
00:19:44,911 --> 00:19:46,919
- Fair enough.
- REN: Dad...
425
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,982
- that was incredible.
- Yeah, unbelievable. Unbelievable.
426
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,067
Dad, thank you for
getting me off the hook.
427
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,494
Off what hook?
428
00:19:53,661 --> 00:19:54,662
For the next few months
429
00:19:54,828 --> 00:19:56,538
you're going to be
doing chores around here
430
00:19:56,705 --> 00:19:57,823
to pay for that chocolate.
431
00:19:57,990 --> 00:19:59,909
Starting with
cleaning up this mess!
432
00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:02,536
(GROANS)
433
00:20:03,128 --> 00:20:05,130
Go ahead. Call me
any name you want.
434
00:20:05,297 --> 00:20:06,665
Go ahead. Go ahead.
435
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:07,933
(PANTING)
436
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,979
Louis, ask me that
again in 17 hours.
437
00:20:12,839 --> 00:20:14,055
Ew!
438
00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:23,849
Hey, what's up, man?
439
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,058
What's up?
440
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,518
(GROANS)
441
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,089
So, you won, huh?
442
00:20:30,782 --> 00:20:32,091
TWITTY: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
443
00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:34,226
I heard about your meltdown.
444
00:20:34,543 --> 00:20:37,338
My dad and Randall were
slipping all over. It was crazy.
445
00:20:37,505 --> 00:20:38,597
I wanted to say something.
446
00:20:38,764 --> 00:20:40,775
Oh, um, I'm sorry about
what happened and,
447
00:20:40,942 --> 00:20:42,525
and it's all my fault.
448
00:20:43,070 --> 00:20:44,425
Yeah, I guess it was.
449
00:20:44,695 --> 00:20:46,775
No, see, that's not what
you're supposed to say, man.
450
00:20:46,892 --> 00:20:48,824
See, I say, "Look, I'm sorry."
451
00:20:48,991 --> 00:20:51,469
Then you say, "No, don't
be sorry. It was my fault."
452
00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:54,069
Then we say, "Oh, no, please,
it was both our faults." See?
453
00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:56,295
Well, I was just trying to
shortcut the whole thing,
454
00:20:56,446 --> 00:20:58,159
so you could have
a ride on my scooter.
455
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,876
So, we're still friends, right?
456
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,294
Dude...
457
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:04,605
So, you want to take her around?
458
00:21:04,809 --> 00:21:07,209
I don't know... I've got a
lot of work to do. See that?
459
00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:08,754
- I could cover you.
- Thanks, man.
460
00:21:08,929 --> 00:21:10,529
- Just a quick one. Here.
- Okay.
461
00:21:22,683 --> 00:21:24,585
Hey, Louis, I said a quick ride!
462
00:21:25,194 --> 00:21:26,846
You're coming right back, right?
463
00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:34,436
Yeah, so I finally got my own
private phone line. Yeah. (LAUGHS)
464
00:21:34,582 --> 00:21:35,729
But it was so brutal.
465
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,086
I had to be nice to my
brother for a whole week.
466
00:21:38,183 --> 00:21:39,601
Ugh, yeah, you know Louis.
467
00:21:39,916 --> 00:21:42,311
But it was worth
it for total privacy.
468
00:21:42,478 --> 00:21:44,046
And, speaking of privacy...
469
00:21:48,845 --> 00:21:50,996
REN: (OVER LOUDSPEAKER)
Now, what I'm about to tell you
470
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:52,020
is top secret.
471
00:21:52,106 --> 00:21:54,832
So, whatever you do, just
keep this between you and me.
472
00:21:55,257 --> 00:21:57,809
(VOICE ECHOING) I have a
major crush on Bobby Deaver...
473
00:21:57,926 --> 00:21:59,712
(CROWD LAUGHING)
474
00:22:04,107 --> 00:22:05,830
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)